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Baumkuchen

Summary:

Taikogane and Houchou discuss how baumkuchen is meant to be eaten.

Work Text:

 

 

“How do you eat baumkuchen?” Taikogane made a face at his snack.

 

“Whuof foo ou mheeh?” Houchou inquired, mouth full of the pastry.

 

“Well, do you eat it from the side, or top? Or do you eat it layer by layer? And if so, which side do you start on?” The feather-adorned tantou explained.

 

“Oohf...Fhoo.” Houchou agreed before swallowing his cake.

 

“How do you eat it, Houcchan?”

 

“Mmm...Well, I take the pieces, and split them in half by the layers, then I eat both halves, just like that.”

 

“Just like that?”

 

“Yup! All at once, just like that.” Houchou beamed proudly.

 

“Oooh, impressive!” Taikogane grinned at his boyfriend; the sparkles between them ever increasing.

 

“Why don't we go ask the others?” Houchou offered.

 

“Good idea! Let's see who we can find.” Taikogane took his plate of cake as they meandered off on their quest.

 

Scene Shift

 

“Baumkuchen?” Yasusada raised his eyebrows at the question.

 

“Well, I guess it's true there are a lot of ways to eat it.” Kiyomitsu pointed out.

 

“Hmmm...Well, if I were to explain it, I take the whole cake, and make a single slice in it, then I peel off one layer at a time, then I eat it layer by layer.” Yasusada explained as he made motions with his hands. Silence lingered in the air for a moment.

 

“You...why?” Kiyomitsu made a face at him.

 

“Well how do you eat it then?” Yasusada narrowed his eyes at his fellow Shinsengumi sword.

 

“I eat it starting at the corner, since it's easy to take small bites that way. Then I just continue eating from the side until it's gone, I guess.”

 

“I see.” Taikogane nodded.

 

“Thank you for your time!” He bowed quickly, Houchou panicking and following suit.

 

“Th-thank you!!” They both ran off, leaving the two uchigatana confused and lost.

 

Scene Shift

 

“How would I eat it...? Well...” Kikkou trailed off with a small giggle, looking to the side and blushing. Houchou furrowed his eyebrows in concern.

 

“It has a hole in the middle, right? You know it's just large enough for-”

 

AAAAAAH! MY VIRGIN EARS!” Houchou screeched, covering his ears and hiding behind his boyfriend.

 

“Houcchan do you even-ah, nevermind. Anyways, Kikkou-nii, thanks for the input! We're going to continue our research now!” Taikogane beamed before escorting the wounded Houchou out the door. Kikkou smiled and waved.

 

“Good luck you two, have fun!”

 

Scene Shift

 

“...So we were going around gathering information on how everyone eats them!” Taikogane finished explaining to the two Sanjou blades. Iwatooshi made a thoughtful noise.

 

“Why don't we show you instead? It'll be a lot easier than explaining!” The naginata grinned.

 

A few minutes and four packages of baumkuchen later...

 

Taikogane and Houchou watched in intrigue as Iwatooshi and Imanotsurugi broke the baumkuchen up into relatively bite-size pieces on their single plate.

 

“Ready?” Iwatooshi asked. Imanotsurugi nodded in response, a determined look on his face.

 

“Here we go!” Iwatooshi took the plate and flung the baumkuchen off, Taikogane and Houchou watching in mild horror and amazement as the pieces flew in the air. Imanotsurugi was the first one to move, springing off the ground and catching a piece in his mouth before catching another with his left hand. He placed his right hand on Iwatooshi's shoulder as the naginata made one fell swoop with his hand, catching about five pieces in the process. Imanotsurugi used his leverage to flip himself over the other's head, snatching a piece from in front of Iwatooshi's face before catching another piece in his mouth and yet another with his hand. This continued for about 1.41 seconds, although to the tantou spectators it seemed like an eternity in which baumkuchen never hit the floor. Neither one of them had the ability to speak.

 

The Sanjou blades beamed at the others, Imanotsurugi's arms full of the cake and Iwatooshi tossing his last piece in his mouth.

 

“How many?” Imanotsurugi asked.

 

“Thirty-three.”

 

“Aww, I only got thirty-one.” He pouted.

 

“Gyahahahaha! This makes us even now!” Iwatooshi laughed, his partner humming in agreement.

 

Scene Shift

 

“What an intriguing question.” Nikkari hummed in thought.

 

“Very well then, I shall show you.” The wakizashi retrieved a plate of baumkuchen from aruji-knows-where for his demonstration. He took a piece from the plate, gently lifting it to his mouth. He licked across the outside, humming as he took the corner in his mouth, gently biting off the smallest piece. Houchou and Taikogane blushed, watching with intrigue. Nikkari tilted his head back and moaned, a satisfied expression on his face. He took a layer from the inside this time, closing his eyes and peeling it off gently with his lips.

 

“I-I feel like...we're...” Taikogane blushed harder.

 

“T-too young to be watching...this.” Houchou finished, eyes wide and face red. Nikkari shuddered.

 

“The feeling of the soft, spongy cake brushing against the roof of your mouth and swirling around your tongue before sliding down your throat...”

 

“I'm leaving!” Houchou announced quickly before bolting out the door.

 

“Aaah, Houcchan, wait!” Taikogane bowed before running off after his boyfriend.

 

Scene Shift

 

Koryuu looked surprised by their inquiry.

 

“How do you...eat baumkuchen?” He questioned, making sure he didn't mishear.

 

“Yup! Taikkun wants to know so we're on a journey to find the answer!” Houchou exclaimed proudly. Hyuuga giggled next to them, taking a sip of his tea.

 

“I usually feed it to him.” Hyuuga stated easily.

 

“Romantic!!” Houchou glittered at the idea. Koryuu blushed a little bit.

 

“Well, yeah. Pretty much.” The tachi chuckled nervously.

 

“How do you eat it then, Hyuuga-kun?” Taikogane inquired. Hyuuga looked out at the garden in thought for a moment.

 

“Pretty normally, I suppose. I eat it starting from the outside, and taking off layers as I work inward.”

 

“Did somebody say taking off layers? Fufufufu~” Sengo appeared behind them on the porch, hand on his shirt and ready to disrobe.

 

“Ah, Sengo-san! You're just in time!” Taikogane explained the situation as Houchou hid behind him, quivering slightly whenever Sengo looked over at him.

 

“Indeed, that is an interesting question. I think it is up to oneself what the right way to eat something is, correct?”

 

“Wow, such words of wisdom.” Taikogane said, in legitimate awe.

 

“And yet, so unhelpful.” Houchou added, causing the whole group to laugh.

 

Scene Shift

 

“In the end all we found out was that there are a lot of ways to eat it.” Taikogane pointed out as they returned to their previous loafing spot.

 

“...Are you gonna eat that?” Houchou inquired, pointing at his cake.

 

“All this walking made me hungry.” He pouted. Taikogane laughed.

 

“Of course I'm gonna eat it. Doesn't mean I won't share, though.” He took the piece of cake and tore it in half, offering half to his boyfriend. Houchou glittered at him and muttered a small 'thank you' before munching on the piece.

 

“Taikkun!” Houchou exclaimed, Taikogane turning his attention to the smaller tantou and seeing him with half a piece of baumkuchen stuck out of his mouth, his eyes sparkling and expectant. Taikogane smiled and leaned over, biting off a part of the cake before kissing Houchou.

 

“Mmm...My favorite way to eat it, I think.” Taikogane winked at the other, Houchou's face going red as he nodded happily, finishing his own piece.

 

“Mine too!!”

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