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“Wei Ying.”
Wei Wuxian slowly lowered Chenqing from his lips. Was he hearing things? No, he could sense someone standing a few steps behind him. And there was only one person it could possibly be, all the way out here. A smile grew across his face. The rogue Cultivator turned.
Sunlight glimmered across Lan Zhan’s white and blue robes, caught on his silver guan and the quartz in Bichen’s hilt. He was really here. Wei Wuxian blossomed into a smile that was almost a grin. He gave a little laugh. “Lan Zhan!” he said. “I thought I left you down the mountain, on the hill.”
“I heard you playing.” There was a funny look in Lan Zhan’s eyes, and his voice was lower than usual.
“What’s wrong?” Wei Wuxian asked. He put his hands on his hips, teasing. “Don’t tell me the world needs saving again in such a short time?”
Lan Zhan shook his head, gaze never leaving Wei Wuxian’s face.
“Did I pack something of yours by accident?” Wei Wuxian began reaching into his outer robe to check. “Lil Apple!” he called without looking at the donkey, “Come here and let Lan Zhan check the bag for his things.”
Lil Apple continued browsing the grass and flowers, completely unconcerned.
“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan said again.
He sounded so solemn, Wei Wuxian jerked his head up to stare at his friend.
Lan Zhan seemed to weigh something in his mind, and then he said, “Come back to Gusu with me.”
Wei Wuxian laughed; a light, musical sound. “My crafty tricks in Cloud Recesses? Your uncle would toss me from the top of the mountain in less than a week! Aiya, what I could teach those Juniors in a few months, though!” He waggled a finger at his friend. “Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, I don’t think you’ve thought this through, at all.”
Lan Zhan didn’t waver. “I have thought it through.” His dark eyes were filled with the emotion Wei Wuxian still couldn’t place. “Wei Ying, come back to Gusu with me.”
Wei Wuxian’s mirth dissipated. “But I thought...” This was what you wanted.
As always, Lan Zhan understood the words he didn’t say. The Lan cultivator looked down. “You are a wanderer. And I have my duties.”
Wei Wuxian’s brows furrowed. He wasn’t following. “Then what changed so fast you had to catch up to me?”
Lan Zhan looked up and Wei Wuxian was shocked to see intense pain in his eyes. “Wei Ying,” he whispered, and it sounded like there was more he wanted to say.
“Lan Zhan...” Wei Wuxian was very troubled now. Something was so horribly wrong Lan Zhan couldn’t seem to tell him. A dark chill gripped his heart. “Is it...” He swallowed, “Is it Zewu-Jun? Is he -” Now Wei Wuxian couldn’t finish his own sentence.
Lan Zhan’s head shake was slight.
“Then what, Lan Zhan?” Despite himself, Wei Wuxian was starting to get frustrated. At his friend, or at himself for not understanding, he wasn’t sure. He crossed his arms. “Why ask me this now? After we’ve already gone our separate ways?”
“Because I...” Lan Zhan swallowed. From beneath his long lashes, he was staring at the grass between them. It looked like he was being held at swordpoint! “I... I need...” His voice trailed off.
“You need me to come back with you to Gusu?” Wei Wuxian’s frown was tugging down the corners of his mouth. “If it’s so important to you, Lan Zhan, I will, but -”
“The song is named.”
Lan Zhan’s matter-of-fact interruption was such a non-sequitur that Wei Wuxian squinted at him. “Alright,” he said slowly. “What name have you given the song?”
Lan Zhan was still not looking at him. “WangXian.”
The words hung in the crisp air as Wei Wuxian considered what that meant. “Our names? Together? Lan Zhan...” It took a moment. His mouth fell open, his eyes went wide. A funny feeling grew in his chest and spread all over, as if he’d been standing on a rug that someone had yanked out from under him. “But the first time I heard it - was back in the Cave of the Tortoise of Slaughter. That was... years ago. Lan Zhan, you didn’t...” Wei Wuxian choked on the realization. “That can’t mean you...”
Lan Zhan’s lips pressed together, as if to stop his mouth from trembling. He inclined his head.
For a moment, Wei Wuxian just stared incredulously. Then he scrunched up his face, and gestured at himself as if to say, this? "Hunguang-jun could have anyone in the world, and -"
Lan Zhan’s gaze snapped up to Wei Wuxian’s, dark eyes smoldering. “Only Wei Ying.”
A thousand moments played through Wei Wuxian’s head. Little gestures, little glances, lanterns painted with rabbits, two chickens being pushed at him in a cold farmyard in Qinghe, Lan Zhan’s stricken face above the edge of a cliff... This new unwavering trust.
“Sixteen years,” Wei Wuxian whispered. He looked up. “Sixteen years and there was never... anyone else?”
Lan Zhan shook his head.
“Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian’s heart ached fiercely. In that moment he hated himself. The day at Nightless City, with all the voices screaming for his downfall, the heavy guilt of Yanli’s death, the slaughter of the innocent Wens, the knowledge he would never be accepted for who he was... that Lan Zhan would never accept who he was... How weary he’d felt. How hopeless. The cliff had seemed the only choice. But by that act of releasing himself from the pain, he realized, he had caused Lan Wangji so much more. “Lan Zhan,” he said again, helplessly.
Lan Zhan strode swiftly forward. His slender hand cupped the side of Wei Wuxian’s face, and wiped away a tear with his thumb. Wei Wuxian hadn’t even realised he was crying. Lan Zhan seemed startled by his own action, but then his gaze softened and he brushed away the next tear that fell.
Wei Wuxian closed his eyes. “Lan Zhan,” he whispered, “I’m sor-”
“No.” Lan Zhan’s voice was low.
“No?” Wei Wuxian echoed in dismay, almost pulling away. “But I -”
“There is nothing to forgive.”
“Lan Zhan. That’s not true.”
“Wei Ying!” Sixteen years of grief tightened Wangji’s voice. “You’re here.”
Wei Wuxian’s heartbeat skipped. He was feeling a thousand things at once and he didn’t know how to begin to untangle any of them. His guilt, his unworthiness, his blindness. This new feeling of weightlessness, of warmth, of a joy that surprised him. Wei Wuxian stepped forward. His chest was mere centimetres away from Lan Zhan’s. Lan Zhan dropped his hand but didn’t move away. The heat from their bodies mingled pleasantly.
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian said, softly. He looked into the others’ eyes and finally understood the intense expression that filled them. “Let’s go back to Gusu.”
Lan Zhan’s smile was the broadest Wei Wuxian had ever seen on him. It made Wei Wuxian appreciate the soft pink edges of his lips, the tease of dimples either side, the high cheekbones that always seemed to shimmer, and the line of a jaw as sharp as Bichen. Hunguang-jun is truly beautiful... Wei Wuxian thought, then realized he was staring and felt his cheeks flush. He saw Lan Zhan’s warm gaze was studying his face, too, and blushed deeper. Lan Zhan noticed, and his smile widened a little more, with a hint of teasing that gave Wei Wuxian a tingling thrill.
Wei Wuxian felt the smooth warmth of Lan Zhan’s hand settling at the side of his neck, and closed his eyes as the others’ thumb gently brushed his jaw.
“Are you sure, Wei Ying?” Lan Zhan whispered. “You are not made for cages.”
“Being with you isn’t a cage,” Wei Wuxian murmured. A memory warmed him. “It’s a single-plank bridge.”
“Wei Ying.” Lan Zhan’s voice was thick and close.
Wei Wuxian felt the breath of the words on his skin and peered up through his lashes. Lan Zhan’s nose was almost touching his, gaze fixed on him with sixteen years of yearning.
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian whispered, "I would like to kiss you."
Lan Zhan blinked, colour rising to his cheeks. His eyebrows quirked. He pursed his lips together.
Wei Wuxian's smile was almost a laugh. "Méishì, méishì. It's enough that we're going back together."
He reached up to lead a strand of Wangji's dark hair back over his shoulder. As his fingers let the hair go free, he was surprised to feel Lan Zhan's hand enveloping his own. The look in Lan Zhan's dark eyes said anxiously, I've been waiting for you, and Wei Wuxian understood. It wasn't that Lan Zhan didn't want to kiss him, it was that he didn't know how to. Back when he was a fifteen year old, Wei Wuxian had kissed plenty of other teenagers. But of course the glacial Twin Jade of Gusu hadn't! Wei Wuxian melted with fondness.
"Close your eyes, Lan Zhan," he murmured.
Though his cheeks were still flushed, Lan Zhan lowered his hand and closed his eyes. Wei Wuxian reached up and cradled one side of Lan Zhan's face. Lan Zhan leaned into his palm. Wei Wuxian gazed at the length of the eyelashes resting softly against Lan Zhan's skin, and slowly leaned in. He ignored the tug of his ponytail as he tilted his head and, carefully, pressed his mouth against Lan Zhan's. It was impossible not to be immediately swept up in how smooth and soft Wangji's lips were; the way their noses pressed alongside each other, one rounded and one sharp; the way his skin was tingling. But then Wei Wuxian felt Lan Zhan's entire body tense, and he quickly drew away.
"Was that bad?" he asked, warring between concern and disappointment.
Lan Zhan's brow was furrowed, and his elegant fingers were curled into fists at his side. He looked as if he was in pain. Wei Wuxian opened his mouth to apologize a hundred times, but Lan Zhan's eyes flickered open. They were wet with unshed tears, yet the expression was one Wei Wuxian remembered from the steps of Jinlintai. What he had always assumed was a look of fondness - of friendship - was overflowing love.
Wei Wuxian laughed. It was a glorious sound, airy and joyful and free. Lan Wangji looked at him like there was no better sight in all the world.
“Ah, Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian sighed wistfully. He stooped to retrieve Chenqing from where it had fallen to the grass at some point earlier. He turned to the white-robed cultivator while rotating the dízi effortlessly in his fingers. “It'll be evening soon and we have a long road ahead of us.” He stretched dramatically. "Lead the way, Lan Zhan!"
“Děng,” Lan Zhan said, calmly. “Something is missing.”
“Ah?” Wei Wuxian spun in a circle, looking at the grassy clifftop with wide eyes. He didn’t see anything remotely interesting and began to shake his head. “Lan Zhan, are you making fun? Oh...”
Lil Apple was gone.