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As the first hints of the morning’s light filter through the warehouse’s living room, Nat sits still at a piano bench. Her fingers whisper over black and white keys, pressing softly, almost tentatively. She’d hate to wake anyone, but she also knows that there are times when she desperately needs the soothing distraction. Ava always insists that living for centuries erases old wounds, but Nat knows that she’s wrong. Nat’s wounds stick with her, waiting under the surface of perfect skin, a persistent but invisible memory- of what she’s been through and what she has the power to do. She sighs heavily, hunching over the piano a little further, pressing the keys a little less softly now. The detective’s the only one who’s probably still asleep at this hour, and at the very least she doesn’t have such sensitive ears. Nat carries on, losing herself to the melody, or at least attempting to.
She has some success, but not much. Nat’s not so engrossed that she doesn’t notice the door creak open. She stops playing quickly and runs a hand through her hair, hoping to make it at least somewhat presentable. She should’ve known someone would be drawn by the music, but all that had mattered when she slipped away from her room was finding a distraction. At least her sleepwear looks fine enough. As Nat frets over presentation, the door groans as it’s pushed open completely, and a few near-silent footsteps approach.
Nat finally looks over to see who has joined her in the living room, and she’s surprised to find that it’s not Ava or any of the other vampires. Instead she finds Aspin, the detective, clutching two steaming hot mugs and staring down at her steadily. Green eyes seem to pierce through her, demanding to know something , but Aspin doesn’t speak. Despite everything, Nat feels her pain melt away as she smiles warmly up at Aspin.
“Here.” Aspin’s voice is gruff, likely still from sleep, as she thrusts one mug toward Nat and nearly spills tea everywhere in the process. The kind gesture only makes Nat smile wider. As she accepts the mug, Aspin looks away, but Nat can feel the way her heart hammers and her cheeks heat even from here.
“Thank you.” Nat’s reply is low, smooth, and warm. She sips slowly at her tea and Aspin tenses and shifts before busying herself with her coffee for a moment. “You know, it’s very kind of you to join me.” Aspin nods, still stiff, and opens her mouth to say something, but seems to think better of it. Instead, she smirks and leans toward Nat a bit.
“Well, anything to get a gorgeous woman’s attention.” There’s a purr to her voice that stirs something deep within Nat, but she can’t help noticing that the tension hasn’t eased from her lean muscles. Still, Nat indulges in the play, gazing up at Aspin tenderly through her dark lashes.
“Oh? Is that why you’re awake so early? You hardly need to go to such lengths to impress me.” She watches Aspin swallow thickly, eyes dragging along Nat’s body slowly before catching on her lips. But then her guards are up again and she leans back against the chair she’s perched herself on.
“Of course it’s to impress you. How else am I supposed to get you to act on how you’re feeling?” This territory is far more comfortable to Aspin, but even as she poses herself in a way that she knows is appealing, she doesn’t relax. It almost reminds Nat of something within her. Is she trying to protect herself? The thought puzzles Nat for a moment, but puzzlement gives way to genuine concern.
“Aspin, are you okay? You seem tense.” Her eyes widen in shock and her mouth falls open.
“I’m fine. There’s nothing wro-” Aspin stops herself, body sagging forward a bit as she rests her head in her free hand. Frowning, she turns to look at Nat. “You’re hard for me to lie to, Nat.” Aspin’s voice comes out soft and wavering. The vulnerability compels Nat up from her seat and directly to Aspin’s side.
“Maybe that’s a good thing?” She offers, bringing her arm up to rest on Aspin’s shoulder.
“I’m not sure. It’s… frightening.” Aspin practically grimaces as she admits it, but she continues to look to Nat.
“Taking risks can be frightening, but they can end up being rewarding in the end.” Nat feels a dull ache in her chest. She’s offering advice that she has trouble following herself. Aspin searches her face, tired but guard slowly lowering, then sighs. It seems she hasn’t caught Nat’s inner conflict this time.
“I trust you.” With three words, Aspin manages to amaze Nat all over again. While Nat recognizes a similar habit of wall-building in Aspin, she also finds something else far more surprising: a willingness to destroy those walls. Nat’s tea is readily set off to the side and forgotten as she brings a hand to cup Aspin’s cheek.
“Thank you.” Nat’s voice is barely above a whisper again, and a comfortable silence hangs between them as they meet each other’s eyes. Somewhat reluctantly, though, Aspin speaks.
“I had a nightmare. About Murphy.” She offers a weak smile before continuing. “Guess repression only gets you so far, huh?” Nat pulls her into a tight embrace, only slightly surprised that heat blossoms across Aspin’s skin even in a situation like this. Even if she’s been relatively reserved regarding her emotions most of the time, she certainly hasn’t been shy about the way she wants Nat.
Slowly, Aspin raises her arms and presses herself further into Nat, face tucked into the crook of her neck.
“I’m sorry,” Nat whispers, voice catching in her throat as she dips down to Aspin’s ear, “If only I’d been more attentive, I could’ve gotten there sooner and I-” She’s cut off as Aspin pushes back from her shoulder, scowling.
“Fuck off with that kind of talk.” Her voice is firm. “You couldn’t have done anything else. You were hurt. What happened was nobody’s damn fault but Murphy’s.”
“But-” Nat’s protest is weak. Aspin’s intense gaze leaves little room for argument.
“Nope.” Aspin pulls her back in, this time pulling Nat’s head toward her shoulder. Once again, Nat’s pain starts to fade as she focuses on Aspin’s pulse thrumming against her skin. “I know something was bothering you earlier.” Nat’s breathing stills for a moment. “Maybe you should trust me too?”
“I do.” Nat’s reply comes without hesitation. She feels Aspin’s heart skip a beat and she moves her head to find a genuine smile on Aspin’s lips.
“Then I’ll be your confidant too.” Nat lets out a ragged breath as she shifts just enough to be able to look into her eyes.
“I’d like that. I just-” Nat falters- “It’s hard to just share everything right away.” Confusion flickers across Aspin’s eyes, but that’s dispelled as soon as it appears.
“I know. You don’t have to.” It feels as though Nat’s heart jumps into her throat and catches there. She can’t help being reassured in how she feels. Aspin cares for her deeply, and Nat cares for her in return. Loves, maybe? It feels early to settle on something Nat takes so seriously, but she’s starting to get the impression that love may in fact be the right label for her feelings for the detective. Love.
Aspin’s eyes flutter shut. She seems to be lost in the moment just as much as Nat is, and she can’t help but be grateful that there seems to be no expectation that she will respond. Certainly, at least not now. Maybe someday. For now, Nat settles for admiring the way that the golden light of the sun seems to make Aspin’s brown skin glow as dawn eases into the day.