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The other day I was standing right off stage with my usual scowl plastered on my face, half listening to Commander Erwin, who was giving another one of his stupid inspirational speeches. Cheerlessly, everyone had been standing and listening to Erwin babble on and on about something. I sighed. Why was I even there? According to my schedule, I should have not been needed. Trying to amuse myself, I examined everyone backstage. Since I didn’t need to be there, I had wished I had been at home drinking some deliciously relaxing tea. However there I was, bored as can be, listening to Commander Erwin’s over dramatic speech for the millionth time.
As I half listened, Commander Erwin turned to me, which was my que that something was up.
“And now I shall hand the stage over to Lance Corporal Rivaille so he can tell you some of the details of the upcoming mission.”. Erwin smiled devilishly, and looked me in the eye.
I ‘tched’. I glared sharply. I set a mental reminder. After this I was going to kill him, the desire to do so increased as my dialogue continued. Artfully I swaggered over to center stage. Having prior knowledge of the details of the mission, I easy began reciting them. Despite being preoccupied with speaking, an eye remanded on Commander Erwin.
While I was explaining the mission Commander Erwin and Squad Leader Hanji burst out in giggles. Since the crowd had also began laughing, I would say the laughter was contagious. Unhappily scanning the crowd, I glared at everyone and anyone that was giggling because I was starting to get a flow going before the interruption. Something caught my eye. Instead of just standing there, like the rest of the soldiers, my squad was jumping up and down crazily in the back row holding up ridiculous signs. I now understood the giggling! Being the idiotic brats they are, my squad had constructed signs, which read, among other things,
- “Don’t you wish your Squad Leader was hot like ours”
- “I Love You”,
- “Squad Leader = Disney Princess”
-
just a picture of a can of ravioli with my face on it.
Enraged by how big of a fool they were making me I raised my voice and said like an angry lion
“ Excuse me, Put the signs down, you filthy brats, you all have cleaning duty for a month!’. After they put signs down, I continued to exquisitely explain the mission, although this time there wasn’t anymore giggling.