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Volleyball season is always a bittersweet feeling for Bokuto, because as much as he gets to play, to run after his passion, he’s also inevitable separated from the person he loves the most, Akaashi Keiji.
Of course, Akaashi tries to come and watch his games as much as possible, but he also has a job – a demanding one, full of meetings, deadlines and extra hours working. Bokuto is as understanding as he can be, not expecting his boyfriend to show on every single one of them. But damn, does it hurt when Akaashi can’t make it and he’s left looking for someone who isn’t there on the stands. He understands, he does, but it doesn’t make it any less painful. Also, he’s very much aware that Akaashi hates this as well, considering every time they talk he expresses how upset and sorry he is for not being able to make it to some games.
Even so, they make it work somehow. When it isn’t season, Bokuto is more around Tokyo and, therefore, more around Akaashi. They enjoy every single second together, talk and agree about the uncertain future, about the idea of Bokuto moving overseas someday to gain even more experience, and just like this they make ends meet. It has been like this since they first got together, right when Akaashi joined college, and it helped them survive all these years together, strong and steady.
Bokuto is ready to go beyond that, though.
He recognizes a lot of faces when he watches the crowd, many people he had played against in the past. Old rivals, that are now familiar faces he enjoys talking to whenever he has a chance, to reminisce about the past and laugh at their antics. Fond memories, ones that Bokuto has kept inside his heart in a secure place, behind seven locks and a huge, metal door. He notices all of them, already knowing they’d all show up considering they’re going against the Adlers – and both teams are full of people he had played against during high school – and because of this, he’s happy. Because Akaashi is coming, too. Even better, Akaashi is coming to stay the night in Sendai with Bokuto.
Tonight, Bokuto will talk to Akaashi. Tonight, Bokuto will tell him the future looks brighter only if Akaashi is there, too. Tonight, Bokuto will ask him to promise forever together.
Tonight.
.
The thrill of winning, of scoring the last point, is still strong in his veins as he meets Akaashi outside the arena, long after the game has ended. Bokuto has already showered, changed into casual clothes and is ready to have a nice date with his boyfriend. He ended up inviting Udai-sensei as well, because Bokuto has manners, but it’s still a date nevertheless. He’s only mildly surprise when he meets only Akaashi outside, waiting for him with his backpack on his back, hands inside his coat’s pockets and glasses slightly foggy because of his breathing coming in puffs of smoke, considering the cold.
“Keiji,” he breathes as soon as he’s close enough and holds the urge to kiss him senseless right there. Someone could see them, and as much as Bokuto knows he could try to deal with his career like this, they both had agreed that now is not the right moment. “Hey.”
Bokuto stops right in front of him, five palms apart, close yet not close enough. He’s smiling softly, cheeks red because of the wind. Akaashi’s eyes soften and his lips curl upward, face gentle and open, just like he always is with him.
“Hey,” he says back, quietly. “Udai-san had a lot of work. He decided to head back to Tokyo.”
Bokuto hums and together, they start walking towards the train station. He feels the urge to grab Akaashi’s hand, to kiss his knuckles, to show him off, but he refrains himself from doing so. “That’s okay. I have a feeling he doesn’t like watching us flirting too much anyway.”
Akaashi huffs a laugh, his eyes twinkling with amusement. It’s a sight Bokuto never gets tired of seeing, especially because he met blunt and quiet Akaashi from high school. It warms his heart to see him much more open, even more with Bokuto himself. It makes him proud .
“I have nothing to say about this,” he replies, tone light and jokingly. “I won’t confirm nor deny your statement.”
“You always use so many cool words, Keiji!”
Another huff of laughter. Walking side by side, their hands touch briefly. If Akaashi lets his pinky finger curlaround Bokuto’s own pinky finger and linger there for more than necessary, neither of them make a comment about it.
.
Bokuto hadn’t planned on drinking, but when Akaashi suggested because of his recent victory, he can’t bring himself to say no.
He chose a small restaurant, one that serves the most delicious cow tongue he has ever tasted in his life, hidden in the middle of Kokubuncho, somewhere that should and is supposed to be busy, but manages to have a place like this – quiet and private enough for Bokuto and Akaashi to enjoy their date. They sit facing each other, making small conversation while they drink and wait for the food they ordered previously. It’s early into the night, but Bokuto hopes they’ll only drink and go back to the hotel, since he has other plans – one that Bokuto is sure Akaashi wouldn’t want to be in public. And he’s also romantic, he wants it to be private and sweet, because that’s how Akaashi would like it more.
Assuming he’ll like it at all, of course.
Their bottle of sake is already halfway gone when Bokuto realizes they’re both a bit more than tipsy, but Akaashi especially – he had never been one to hold his liquor well, considering he barely ever drinks. Bokuto decides not to order any more sake, and thinks of ordering some water, but then Akaashi starts giggling.
“Keiji?” he asks him, amused. Bokuto is tipsy, definitely, but he’s more sober than Akaashi for sure. “What’s so funny?”
“You,” he answers between giggles. “Everything.”
Bokuto huffs a laugh, which sends Akaashi in another fit of giggles. “Keiji, baby, no more sake, okay?”
Akaashi pouts . “You’re no fun, Kou.”
With his heart melting and clenching, Bokuto reaches for Akaashi’s hand on the top of the table. He squeezes it softly, and Akaashi immediately turns his palm to intertwine their fingers. Even though Akaashi isn’t one for public display of affection, when he drinks alcohol, he forgets about it completely.
“I love you so much,” Akaashi breathes, squeezing Bokuto’s hand.
“I love you, too,” he replies immediately, heart racing and blooming with love. Akaashi groans and lets go of his hand, looking around for a second. Since they sat in the corner, in a more private area, barely anyone can see them from where they’re sitting. It would require for people to come closer, and since there’s a wall after their booth, no one passes by unless it’s someone who works there. Akaashi, even tipsy, knows that, so he slides to Bokuto’s side and gives him a small, wicked smile.
Bokuto gulps. “People could see us.”
“But they won’t,” he whispers back and kisses Bokuto softly on the lips, hands reaching for his hair. Bokuto wants to resist, wants to push Akaashi away and take him back to the hotel, but Akaashi’s lips are too distracting.
First, it’s slow, just lips moving against each other, quietly molding to fit in, breathing even and slow. Then, he opens his mouth and uses his tongue, coaxing Bokuto to do the same, and it’s the moment where Bokuto loses the battle inside his head. Akaashi is an amazing kisser, knowing exactly how to make Bokuto shiver, just by kissing him, not lewdly or open mouthed, but slow and sensual, in a way that leaves them both breathless.
When it’s over, Bokuto almost groans with the expression on Akaashi’s face. He looks blissed out, satisfied and ready to be wrecked. “Keiji,” he whispers. “Later, okay?”
Once again, Akaashi pouts but nods. He stays right next to Bokuto, though, not willing to go back to his spot. “Fine,” he replies and reaches for more food. “But I’m expecting later to come.”
Bokuto smiles. “Do I ever break my promises?”
“There’s always a first time for everything.”
“You don’t sound very faithful, Keiji…”
He laughs quietly. “You know I’m just joking.”
Feeling bold, Bokuto plants a kiss on his cheek, which makes Akaashi blush. “Doesn’t hurt to hear it anyway.”
“Sap.”
“Just for you.”
“I hope it continues to be like this.”
“Even drunk you use cool words, Keiji…”
Akaashi laughs again, jabbing him on the side, earning a soft yelp from Bokuto. “Promise?” Akaashi asks, referring to his previous statement. Bokuto smiles.
“Promise.”
.
Trying not to spill everything out to Akaashi or to throw himself on him were both the biggest difficulties of Bokuto’s night. Of course, ever since they started dating, Akaashi is much more open to Bokuto than he ever was in high school, and as the days pass by, Bokuto learns how to read him completely and thoroughly. So, to have him so open and honest with him in public makes Bokuto want to forget the world and kiss him senseless right there, where people could find them easily if they just passed by.
But also, Bokuto drank some sake with him, so he is a little tipsy. He’s still in control of his actions and words, thankfully, but Akaashi isn't. Not completely anymore. He’s almost drunk enough that he’ll start laughing loudly just like he does when they’re alone because Bokuto did something silly. Bokuto thinks it’s cute, seeing Akaashi so open – not caring or overthinking about anything – when he’s like this, because he doesn't know for sure yet how to be like this when he’s sober.
Akaashi being cute is enough to make Bokuto almost jump on him or cut his plan short just by watching him. But then, he doesn't, stopping his trail of thoughts before he gets carried away.
Easier said than done, though.
“Kou,” Akaashi whispers, after his nth cup of sake. He puts one of his arms around Bokuto’s shoulder, Bokuto instantly putting his arm around his waist to support him. “I’m so proud of you.”
Bokuto smiles softly and looks around before pecking him quickly on the lips. Akaashi pouts, as if he wants more, but Bokuto resists it. “Thank you, baby.”
“I mean it,” he continues, pouting not leaving his lips. “You’re my star.”
He swallows dry. “Keiji…”
“I’m serious, Kou,” he answers, voice a bit more serious – or as much as he can get serious while being drunk. “Since the beginning, I thought you were a star. You still are. My star, my sun. You inspire me. So much!”
Smiling, Bokuto’s hand find Akaashi’s own hand and gives it a small squeeze. He has no words for how much this man means to him. And he hopes to show him exactly that but later. Hopefully.
“I’m being spoiled enough tonight, with all the love declarations you’re giving me, Keiji.”
It must have been the wrong thing to say, Bokuto realizes a second later, because Akaashi’s face become serious and a little crestfallen, eyes shining and lips being bitten by his own teeth.
“I’m sorry,” Akaashi apologizes but Bokuto gives him a confused look. He doesn’t have time to ask, though, because Akaashi continues. “I know I don’t show you enough and you deserve more, I’m sorry I’m not that open and I promise I will try harder because you deserve the best and I want the best for you always, so I’m sorry I’m not like that but–”
“Hey,” Bokuto says quietly, the other hand reaching to cup his face. “Hey, Keiji, breathe, okay?”
Akaashi nods, and then hides his face on Bokuto’s shoulder. He holds onto Bokuto’s shirt just as Bokuto’s hand – the one that had been cupping his face – reaches for his hair, to thread his fingers through it softly.
“It’s okay, baby,” he says quietly, voice gentle and calm. “I love you just like you are. I was joking, I don’t even care that much if you show the world if you love me or not. You prove that to me every day and that’s enough for me.”
Humming softly, Akaashi holds onto him tighter, but Bokuto says nothing about it. They stay like this, close, for some time, before Akaashi pulls away to look Bokuto in the eyes. They’re hazy, clouded with alcohol, but still with the hint of what Akaashi is down to his core marked there. Determination, strong will, passion.
“Let me show you how much I love you,” he says and Bokuto almost chokes. “Let’s go back to the hotel, hmm?”
“Keiji,” he whispers in awe, words he has been wanting to spill out stuck on his throat. “Ask for the bill.”
Akaashi’s smile is devilish and Bokuto wouldn’t change it for the world.
.
The walk to the hotel is hard .
First of all, Akaashi is being clingier than ever. He holds onto Bokuto’s arms – which he tries to reason him why he shouldn’t, but Akaashi doesn’t care and doesn’t listen to him – and pushes him into alleys to kiss him senseless four times . Bokuto almost loses his mind on the fourth time, when Akaashi kisses him with such eagerness that makes Bokuto want to take him right there at that moment. He doesn’t, of course, but with Akaashi pouting with those swollen pink lips, eyes full of lust and need, Bokuto nearly, almost does jump on him, but his common sense prevents him from doing so. Akaashi would regret this – and probably will most of the PDA in the morning – and Bokuto can’t live with that. He’s sober enough to stop himself, and so he will. For Akaashi’s sake, mostly.
(Career be damned, he cares more about Akaashi’s happiness and comfort.)
But, in the end, finally, they make it to the hotel. By the time they enter Bokuto’s room, Akaashi looks like he’s ready to combust, eyes more clear but still full of need for release. Immediately, Bokuto is reminded of what he wanted to do as soon as they arrived at the hotel, but Akaashi being drunk was not something he had considered.
It does make it kind of hard to think when Akaashi is attacking him with his mouth anyway. Bokuto realizes he must do something and do it fast, before he falls in bed with his boyfriend and chickens out of the whole idea altogether.
“Keiji,” he whispers between kisses. Akaashi doesn’t stop, leaving his mouth and reaching for his ear lobe. Bokuto’s legs tremble, his mouth releasing a soft sigh. God, had he been waiting for this all night and now he can’t have it yet. “Keiji, wait.”
Akaashi pulls back, eyes confused and still a bit drunk. Bokuto swallows dry. He looks cute and hot , confusion melted between his sexy face, swollen lips and flushed cheeks. Bokuto knows he’s aroused, just as much as he is, and he, once again, wants to take him right there right now. Not yet, he forces into his mind and cups Akaashi’s face.
“Don’t you wanna take a shower first?”
Akaashi nods, diving in for another kiss. I’m dumb , Bokuto thinks as he notices Akaashi trying to take off his clothes, he thinks shower means sex in the shower, I’m so dumb, god.
“Wait,” he says again just as Akaashi has taken off their coats. “You go first, I already took one.”
Slowly, like he’s processing his thought, Akaashi blinks at him. Then, he gives him the most incredulous look he probably has ever given Bokuto. It would be funny if Bokuto wasn’t panicking about his plan going wrong.
“Kou, what.”
“I just… I have something to talk to you!” he spills out and then winces. He had been doing so fine, and now he just went ahead of himself. Akaashi gives him an unimpressed look.
“Something to tell me? Or are you just avoiding me?”
Akaashi’s even and slightly hurt tone make Bokuto’s heart shatter into pieces. “No, baby, I do have something to talk to you,” he begs him and kisses his nose. “Please? Take a shower and we’ll talk. Promise.”
Reluctantly, Akaashi nods and gives him one more unimpressed look before going to the bathroom. He closes the door after him, but Bokuto doesn’t hear him locking it. As soon as the shower turns on, Bokuto starts pacing and he realizes he just dug himself into a hole that he does not know how to leave.
What have I done, oh god, now I have to find a way to make this special for him!
Groaning softly, he paces in the room thinking of his possibilities. He could make some excuse about moving in together in Tokyo, officially – which is, honestly, part of the plan –, or maybe ask to talk about his future plans of playing overseas for a while – which is, honestly, also part of the plan, but it’s supposed to be a conversation for the future.
They’re all part of his plan in the end. If Bokuto wants Akaashi to be his forever, than he knows they’ll have to be open and honest about everything and start making decisions as a established couple, which they haven’t been doing yet. They have their own lives, and as much as they spend a lot of time together, they have decided since day one that each one of them would lead their lives like they don’t have strings connecting them back to a place. It had been Bokuto’s biggest fear, that he and Akaashi would fly so far away from each other and never meet again, never find the place where their strings connect.
“I’m almost certain that, no matter what happens, we will always come back to each other.”
Akaashi’s words ring loud and clear in Bokuto’s head. Now, so many years have passed, and they have survived everything together, somehow always coming back to each other. Bokuto knows Akaashi is the one for him, that he’s not going to ever love anyone like he loves Akaashi. And he hopes for Akaashi to feel the same, to want this as much as Bokuto wants. To share a lifetime together, to say forever and fulfill this promise.
“Kou?” Akaashi asks, startling Bokuto out of his thoughts. He’s standing next to the bed, wearing sweatpants – Bokuto’s ones, he notices, like he always does when he spends the night with Bokuto – and looking at Bokuto. He realizes he had been standing next to the window, staring at Sendai for far too long, so lost in thought he didn’t realize Akaashi had come off the shower.
“Hey,” Bokuto replies, smiles soft and gentle. Akaashi is shirtless, which makes Bokuto’s lower belly burn, but he ignores it with his boyfriend’s worried eyes and face. He looks more sober, which Bokuto is happy for, since the idea of the shower was exactly that. And to distract him from jumping on Bokuto, of course.
“What’s wrong?” he asks him, already coming closer and wrapping his arms around Bokuto’s middle from his side, popping his chin on Bokuto’s shoulder. Bokuto puts an arm around him, smile soft and lovingly.
“Nothing, actually,” he replies and it’s the truth. There isn’t nothing wrong. He trusts Akaashi to say yes or to refuse but not break up with him. It’s a conversation for them to have now, but Bokuto feels nervous and he’s not even sure why. “I just have some things to talk to you.”
“Hmm?”
“I think I might play overseas for some time soon.”
It makes breathing easier for a second, but just as fast as it makes it harder. Because Akaashi stiffens next to him, and Bokuto refuses to look at his face, gaze stuck on the window and the view from outside. He’s terrified of the consequences of saying this, but he’s also relieved they’re having this conversation. It’s a beat of silence, one Bokuto dreads it and feels like hours have passed, before Akaashi replies him.
“Okay,” he says softly and kisses Bokuto’s shoulder. “We can live with that. Is that what you were so nervous about telling me?”
Bokuto, finally, looks at him, eyes still scared and unsure. But Akaashi looks at him calmly, eyes soft and certain, and it does make it easier for Bokuto to breathe then.
“Some of it, yeah,” he replies, voice still unsure and nervous, but Akaashi hums back at him.
“It’s okay, Kou,” he replies back and moves a bit so he can stand in front of him, arms still around his middle, faces inches apart. “I love you. You spending some time away is not going to change that, ever.”
Bokuto doesn’t resist the urge and, this time, he kisses him. Immediately, he cups Akaashi’s face, one of his hand’s fingers threading through his wet hair and massaging his scalp, tongue hot and urgent inside Akaashi’s mouth. His boyfriend doesn’t complain, but embraces it, kissing him back just as passionately as he does. They don’t kiss for much time though, because Akaashi pulls away and gives him a still ever calm and soft look.
“What else is bothering you?”
Bokuto licks his lips, suddenly much more into the idea of continuing what they had stopped so many times now. But Akaashi is right, Bokuto still wants to talk to him. He has to do it.
“Keiji,” he starts and suddenly he feels like a sap. There’s not enough words for him to help him with what he wants to say. “I love you so much.”
Akaashi’s eyes shine with amusement and he laughs softly. “I love you, too.”
“I’m not good with words, Keiji.”
“It’s okay, Kou.”
“No, wait, let me finish.”
Akaashi nods, stiffening a smile. Bokuto releases a soft sigh, cupping Akaashi’s face again.
“I knew you were something special to me the moment you set to me the first time. I had no idea what it meant back then, because I was young, because I didn’t understand the idea of falling in love, I don’t know. But I still fell for you back then, so fast and easily, just like spiking one of your sets.”
He takes a deep breath, smiling softly at him.
“I know we talked about timing and everything, but I want to make a promise with you. A promise for a lifetime, actually. And I know everything is not certain, uh, is the word really certain? Uh, whatever.
“What matters is that even if things are not for sure, even if we don’t know the future, you’re the only thing I am sure of. I love volleyball, I do, but you’re all I know that is forever for me. Keiji, I’m really bad at words but I love you and I want to spend the rest of my days, even when I’m old and saggy, with you. I know I will still love you, just like I love you right now, and I hope you feel the same.
“I want to wake up next to you every day, pressed against each other, trading slow kisses to then make breakfast together. I want the good days, the bad days, the hard days, the easy days, I want all that comes with you. I love you so much, and Keiji... I want you to marry me. I want to make a promise that will last for the rest of eternity. Please, say yes.”
Akaashi chokes on his sob, smile splitting on his face, happy and full of feelings. Bokuto himself has tears in his eyes, the rush of proposing and baring his heart for Akaashi making him want to cry. He’s weak when it comes to Akaashi, like he has always been.
“Kou,” Akaashi whispers, chanting his name like a prayer. His own hands now cup Bokuto’s face, the tears falling from his eyes but shining on his cheeks, stretched because of his huge smile. “Kou, Kou, Kou. ”
He kisses Bokuto with a gentleness, with such love that makes Bokuto’s heart melt in his chest. They both smile through the chaste kiss, tears falling from their eyes, hands grabbing each other’s faces. It’s the answer Bokuto needs, but not exactly the one he wants. He breaks the kiss, eyes hopeful and heart beating fast.
“Keiji?”
Akaashi smiles like he has just seen the sun for the first time. Like he has seen Bokuto for the first time. Like gravity, you pull me back to you, my sun, my main star. “I love you so much and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my days with you.”
Bokuto huffs a laugh, hugging him tight, Akaashi’s soft laugh mixing with his own. He feels giddy, pulling Akaashi onto his arms by his legs, and then falling in bed with him. Their laughter grow, just as their kisses growing from pecks to kisses to a full making out session.
“Forever,” Akaashi whispers between their kisses, a smile on his swollen lips, happiness shining in his eyes.
“Forever,” Bokuto echoes back, his heart squeezing on his chest. “I just love you so much, and I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives showing you that.”
Akaashi smiles, a glint of wickedness swimming in his eyes. “Then, you can start now.”
Smiling back, Bokuto kisses. And proceeds to show him exactly that.
.
“Kou.”
“Hmm?”
“Forever is a long time…”
“I know. And I’m ready to love you for this long, Keiji.”
“....good. Me too. My next vacation will be in whatever country you’re living in.”
Soft laughter. “That’s fair. Did I hurt you?”
“Mhmm? No. You were actually way too gentle this time.”
“Are you asking me to be rougher?”
“I’m asking you to do your job right next time.”
More laughter. “Keiji, this moment asked for some gentleness!”
“I know, and that’s why I am bringing it up. For round two.”
“Already?”
A small kiss, soft and lovingly. “Not my fault you’re irresistible.”
Silence. Kissing, hands moving. One of them stop moving.
“Keiji?”
“....I’m not feeling very well, Kou…”
A sigh. “You did drank almost a bottle of sake.”
“My stomach feels weird…”
Another sigh. Bokuto gets up, bringing Akaashi with him. “Come on, I’ll take care of you.”
“Forever?”
Smile.
“Forever, Keiji.”