Chapter Text
"Go to hell." you said, hostility in your tone.
Pulling on your already bruised wrists to try and break free was useless, the burning sensation only increased whenever you tried to do something about it.
Even kicking was out of the question: you already tried.
It only ended up in bruising your ankles to the point you thought you couldn't even walk properly.
Overusing your quirk have tired all of your limbs, which were literally screaming for mercy and begging for some rest, and the quirk-blocking chains weren't exactly complying with that request.
The room was rather dark, only lit by two torches with blue flames and the flickering light of a broken lamp.
Fortunately, your eyes adjusted quickly to the darkness, but you wondered whether it would have been better if you couldn't see your kidnapper looking at you like a predator looks at his prey.
You knew why the League of Villains wanted you, you knew they were coming for you, but the fact that you let them catch you made you mad and frustrated to no end.
Your grip on the arms of the chair tightened so much that your knuckles turned white.
Of course, you didn't let them win without a fight, but it was a rather short one, since you were outnumbered and already tired from running and using your quirk too much.
"I'm done asking nicely." Dabi said, not a hint of compassion in his voice.
You laughed loudly, your head falling backwards.
"And what you gonna do? Whatever you can offer me, I don't want it... and you can't kill me, or the valuable information you need will die with me." you smiled cockily.
"I might just need to be a little more convincing, then." Dabi returned a wicked grin.
Grabbing your hair, Dabi pulled your face closer to his: the pain was unbearable as your binds pulled back on you while he pulled you forward.
Some wires cut slightly into your hip, making you hiss.
Despite everything you didn't feel helpless: rage was fueling you, making your blood boil and stamping a cold and fiery expression on your face.
You knew about One For All, All Might's secret, the key to finally put an end to his life: the League wanted to know too, along with other information you might possibly have, according to them.
"You're right... I can't kill you, but I'll make you wish you were never born, honey, which is way worse."
"Tsk, do your worst: you won't break me." you snarled.
"We'll see about that..." he whispered, a nefarious smile plastered on his face.
Dabi placed two fingers on your cheekbone, pressing just against a fresh wound, where Toga had managed to cut with her knife.
The pain wasn't that unbearable, but the worst was yet to come.
You didn't move, didn't even make a sound: you didn't want to give in to him that easily.
Dabi's fingers turned blue: you knew what was coming next.
Your breath quickened, your shaky inhale almost choked you, but your cold expression stayed still.
The smell of burning flesh pinched your nose, tears streamed down your face as the pain became more and more intolerable, but you didn't dare make a sound.
Despite everything, that wasn't the worst the dark-haired boy could do; it was just the beginning.
You bit your tongue so hard that you could taste your own blood: you just didn't' want to give Dabi the satisfaction of seeing you in pain or hearing you scream.
When he removed his fingers, the burning smell only grew stronger.
You tried to catch your breath; seeing Dabi's unsatisfied expression made you chuckle despite the pain you were in.
You could already feel your cheek swelling: judging on the pressure applied by Dabi and how short he kept his fingers on your face, it wasn't a severe wound, but it still hurt like hell.
You sure were expecting to be tortured, both physically and emotionally, but you were prepared for it, or at least you hoped so.
"Tsk... torture is no use. I'll never talk." you said, feigning confidence.
“I’m surprised you’re not scared. Most people usually have that look on their face that screams ‘someone’s going to save me and kick your ass!’, but you don’t. I must say that I’m kinda disappointed.”
"Oh, you wanted me to scream? To beg you to spare my life? Keep dreaming, bud.” you said cockily.
“Nothing of the sort, dear. I just happen to enjoy the disappointed look in my victims when they realise that nobody is gonna show up to save them.”
You looked straight into Dabi's face: your e/c eyes fearlessly glowering at his turquoise ones.
You could feel his hot breath on your face: it made your stomach twist with vomit, but you didn't want to lose the stare fight, so you tried to block out the sensation.
When Dabi tightened the grip on your hair, inciting you to speak, you spit in his face.
"Fucking bitch." he hissed, blue flames dancing around his palm.
You thrashed against the back of the chair trying to avoid his painful touch; again, the smell of burning skin pinched your nose, almost watering your eyes.
"You still wanna fight? After being thoroughly shown how weak you are?" Dabi scoffed.
Suddenly he deactivated his quirk and flames disappeared from his hands; he was calm but looked somewhat irritated.
You wanted to keep your cool and feign calmness and confidence, but your shaky breath and trembling fingers were betraying you; you just hoped Dabi wouldn't notice.
"Fine. You're leaving me no choice."
You gave the villain a puzzled look.
Did he really have a better trick up his sleeve? Something even worse than being burnt alive?
You could hardly think about something worse than being tortured with fire, which was kind of ironic, given your water quirk.
You were dragged back to reality when you heard someone slamming the door open, followed by a loud thud.
The silhouette of the man pushed to the floor was familiar to you, but the darkness of the room made it quite difficult to recognise him at the spot.
"Thank you for joining us, Hawks." said Dabi, satisfaction in his tone.
Your heart stopped.
Your face, previously twisted in an expression of loathing, was now full of fear.
"K-Keigo!" your breath came out in a shuddering gasp, tears threatening to spill down your cheeks.
“Oh my God... you told her your name?! That was unexpected... man, I can’t believe you actually did that, Hawks.” Dabi chuckled, enjoying the pathetic scene in front of him.
Your eyes were open wide, refusing to believe what was happening.
You felt your chest tightening, but what struck you frozen was the state Hawks was in.
Despite soot leaving dark spots on his face and body, you could still see he was covered in bruises and cuts.
His clothes were stained with blood, most likely his own, and he was so beaten up he didn't even have the strength to move.
Almost all of his breathtaking red wings were torn out, some even clipped; the sight made your head spinning, legs trembling and heart beating like it was about to escape from your ribcage.
You tried to focus on the fact that he was still breathing, therefore still alive, ignoring the nausea building up inside your stomach, the salty taste of your tears, the fear that clawed at your heart.
Dabi grabbed one of the few feathers left on Hawks’ back an pulled it, letting it fall to the ground without making a sound.
Hawks held back a whimper, but you could tell from his expression that he was in a lot of pain.
“You want me, not him. Let him go!” you screamed.
“Wrong. We want answers. I don’t care who gives me what I want as long as I get it.” Dabi replied monotonously.
“I already told you that I’m the only one that knows... please, let him go.”
“As I recall...” he pinched his nose “you also said that torturing _you_ was no use, so maybe hurting _him_ will make you talk.”
Your heart was pounding in your chest, terror taking control over your body and mind.
You bit your inner cheek harshly, feeling a slight taste of blood, in a pathetic attempt to hold back the tears that so desperately wanted to escape your eyes.
“Y/N don’t tell him shit.” Hawks said with pain in his voice.
“You’re still able to talk? Tsk, you amaze me every time, Takami.”
Dabi slowly walked closer to Hawks, blue flames dancing around his right palm.
You were paralysed in fear, your mouth agape and tears ready to stream down your face.
“Y/N don’t you even try and think about talking.” Hawks looked at you coldly, his voice stern; it was an order.
“I won’t let you die! I can’t...” a tear ran down your slightly swollen cheek.
“Don’t worry about me.” his voice softened, his smile broke your heart.
Dabi raised an eyebrow and chuckled at what he’d just heard: heroes, they always managed to make him laugh with their stupid morales and attachment to others.
The scene in front of him was so pathetic: it was impossible not to laugh.
"What you gonna do, princess? You finally feel like talking?" Dabi asked you with a teasing tone.
You didn't answer, didn't even look at him; your eyes desperately searching for a sign from Keigo.
The blonde didn't move, didn't make a sound: for the first time in your life, you saw Hawks completely helpless.
His eyes were empty, it was like he was looking through you rather than at you.
As a drop of sweat ran down his forehead, he closed his eyes in resignation: he was ready to be tortured, to die even.
His only regret? Not being able to save you.
Hawks' whole gut, stomach, lungs and all lurched up to his throat: he was frightened, his palms sweating, but he couldn't afford to show it.
Your heart sank in your chest when you silently and reluctantly accepted what was probably going to be Hawks' last order to you.
You turned your face to Dabi, glaring at him balefully; the dark-haired boy scoffed.
"Fine. I'll make sure he dies slowly and painfully."
If Hawks’ smile had managed to break your heart, his inhumane screams shattered your soul into a million pieces.
His weakness had always been fire and Dabi’s one was extremely dangerous.
Keigo had always been very clear about how risky his job was and how he couldn’t have any relationships that could endanger the other person and also be used against him, yet there you were.
Did you love him though? You'd never dared ask yourself that question.
Whenever your head started wondering too much around the topic, you always managed to push aside those inexplicable feelings.
Of course you cared about each other, you were long friends and hero partners, but none of you actually dared to go deeper, too scared of losing the other for good due to the danger of the job.
After all, a significant other was a liability none of you could afford, especially Hawks.
You tried to use your quirk despite the quirk-erasing chains, despite already having overused it.
Your muscles were burning, aching, screaming at you to stop, but you just couldn't, too desperate to help.
You heard Dabi talking, but it was more of a muffled sound in your ears: you were more concentrated on breaking free, even if it was all in vain.
You stopped when you couldn't feel your arms anymore, when you couldn't lift them even a tiny bit; a stingy and aching sensation sent ripples of pain all the way even into the strands of your hair.
You couldn’t even think past the rushing in your ears.
Your vocal cords felt raw; you didn't realise you had started screaming.
It seemed like everything was in slow motion: the crackle of the flames, Hawks face contorted in pain, his eyes shut, jaw clenched, sweat rolling down his injured arms, the revolting smell of burning skin and feathers, Dabi's manic laugh.
The villain smirked as he moved his hand to Hawks' back, exactly where the wings are attached to his body.
Keigo's gut-wrenching screams of pain pierced through your ears, brain, soul.
You felt yourself quivering more and more, unable to control your sobs and the sickly feeling in your stomach.
“Stop! Please stop!” you screamed, barely realising it.
You pulled at the chains that were tying you to the chair in a useless attempt to break free and help your friend, adrenaline taking full control over your body.
You couldn’t even see Dabi’s or Hawks’ silhouettes properly since the tears had blurred your vision.
Your heart was pounding in your chest, a million thoughts running through your mind just to settle on one in particular.
'Save him, save him, save him, save him'...
“Then talk.” Dabi looked victorious.
“On one condition.”
“I don’t think you’re in the position to-“
"Shut up!" your voice echoed throughout the room, rage overflowing.
“Take him to a safe place, he needs proper care... then and only then I’ll tell you everything you want to know. I swear.” you then added.
Your eyes were fixed on Hawks, a tiny bit of hope growing inside you as you saw him breathing even if with difficulty.
Your anxiety grew even more since Dabi was just looking at the blonde without making any noise.
“He’s too weak to even try and come back here to fight, so he won’t be a problem to you. But please he needs help right now or he’ll die: I’m begging you.” you whisper, all the defiance and anger you’d built up suddenly disappearing.
You felt utterly embarrassed to seam so desperate and submissive, but you’d deal with that later.
Your cheeks burnt with shame and apprehension.
'I'm sorry Keigo... I'd rather die than see you lose everything.' you thought, unable to say it out loud.
“Y/N n-no.... d-don’t...” the excruciating pain he felt drained out all of his energy, making Hawks unable to talk.
“Shut up, dickhead. I won’t let you die. Now, don’t talk. Focus on breathing.”
Dabi was laughing devilishly, clearly enjoying your suffering.
He took two steps closer to you and brushed off the tears from your cheeks with his filthy hands.
You exhaled a shaky breath as you felt his repulsive touch reach the darkest part of your soul; that was the hand that had almost killed Keigo just a few seconds before.
It was pointless, but you still turned your head, trying to escape him.
"Dabi."
"What now, fallen hero?" the dark-haired grinned devilishly.
"Get away from her." Hawks voice was practically a whisper.
A small laugh escaped the villain's throat.
"Or what? You'll kill me? Please, don't make me laugh at you even more. Look at your state: you're pathetic. Your girl wants to talk... shut up and I might even spare your life."
Hawk’s body trembled with outrage.
You looked at him with pleading eyes, you couldn't bear seeing him so hurt, broken, helpless.
"Now, where were we?" Dabi turned to face you again.
"I'll tell you everything you want, just..." you turned to face the floor, feeling too ashamed "please, he needs help."
"I'll take care of that, my love, don't worry." Dabi replied, passing a hand through your hair.
Every muscle in your face tightened: you wanted to puke.
Keigo glanced at you, his eyes wide and worried, but there was more... dismay? Disappointment?
You couldn't focus on his beautiful golden eyes though: the total absence of feathers on his back had caught your full attention.
You swallowed harshly, a bitter taste replaced the dryness of your mouth.
Hawks' body was trembling, but he seemed not to feel pain: where his burns so deep? You feared so; it was a bad sign.
You thought about his breathtaking red wings and how he could possibly have just lost them for good and how he didn't even seem aware of it.
His back looked blackened and slightly charred, the nerve endings probably destroyed since he didn't seem to feel much pain anymore.
You were desperately gasping for air, your uneven breathing didn't seem to bring enough oxygen in your system, leaving you with a helpless feeling of suffocation.
Guilt began crushing you like a tidal wave: if you only had given Dabi what he wanted, if you had given in earlier, Hawks wouldn't...
"Y/N, please... you're just playing his game. I'd rather die..." Hawks cried out.
Dabi ignored him and again, you found his turquoise eyes piercing right into your soul: you felt powerless, vulnerable, numb.
"How can I trust you'll keep your word?" you asked bitterly.
"I'll put him out of his misery, I swear." Dabi dramatically crossed his heart with a finger.
Keigo looked at you full of disappointment and you felt your heart breaking: you were just trying to save his life, it was the least you could do after the irreparable damage you had caused.
The blonde closed his eyes, passing out from exhaustion.
Your heart jumped to your throat, an alarmed look plastered on your face as you felt cold sweat rolling down your spine.
You had to think fast, faster.
"You know, the sooner we finish, the sooner I can take care of what you're desperately trying to save."
"Yes..." you replied in a whisper, shame and resignation growing inside you.
Revealing All Might's secrets... you felt like the most disgusting traitor, but you could endure the pain, the shame, the guilt of it, if that meant saving Keigo.
---
"You don't fucking get it, do you?! I should have died there! I fucking deserved to die!" you cried out, your throat burning.
Endeavor just looked at you with his usual frown, which only made your blood boil with even more anger.
"You're talking nonsense. Calm down."
Endeavor called you with your hero name, which felt so wrong to you.
How could you still consider yourself a hero after betraying All Might and the whole hero agency?
You wanted to save Hawks so badly that you didn't even think twice about selling out all of the top-secret information you had.
Both you and Keigo knew you had to die: it was the right thing to do.
But you still chose what you felt was right to you, to your heart.
You felt guilt crashing you: justifying what you did was so hard that you couldn't help but feel awful, like you deserved to die.
Realisation hit you like a brick to the face: that was why Hawks was giving you such disappointed looks back then.
You knew you had to be held accountable for what you did, yet you were terrified of owning up to your mistakes.
You picked through the little window on Keigo's hospital room, your eyes watering at the sight.
He was attached to all kinds of machines to keep him alive and out of pain.
It took you almost ten days to wake up from the drug-induced coma and first thing you did after opening your eyes was desperately searching for Keigo, only to find out he was still asleep.
"Is he going to be ok?" your voice practically a wail when you said it.
"He's stable. Don't worry, he'll make it through." Endeavor replied with a soothing tone.
It was rather uncharacteristic of him, maybe he just felt too pity for you.
"What about... what about his wings?" tears were now running down your cheeks.
The number one hero sighed deeply.
He looked at you, but you kept facing the floor, feeling too ashamed, too vulnerable, like you would break at any given moment.
"Hawks..." Endeavor paused, contemplating on whether he should tell you the truth or not. "Doctors aren't sure yet, but-"
You threw a punch to the wall.
Your head was spinning so much that you didn't even feel pain.
"For fuck's sake... don't sugarcoat it, Endeavor. Just say it as it is."
"His wings are gone." he replied in a monotone.
You struggled to breathe, to stand.
Your whole body shook with sobs; you felt the need to grasp onto something, even if you weren't falling.
Endeavor put a hand on your shoulder in a pointless attempt to calm you down.
"Don't touch me! I don't deserve your compassion." you cried out.
You hated the man, hated that he was trying to help you: both because it was him in particular and because you felt like you didn't deserve it.
---
“Endeavor, I’m not asking, I’m-“
“Do you really think you can order me-“
“I’m begging you...” it was practically a wail when you said it.
You felt your eyes watering, but you didn’t want to cry in front of the number one Hero again, so you tried to fight back those tears.
You couldn’t even bring yourself to look him in the eyes, you felt too ashamed.
You felt uncomfortable with the level of vulnerability you were showing: you were practically opening your heart in front of a man you hated.
God, opening up to Keigo was hard, but to Endeavor? It was soul-crashing and embarrassing.
“Please, take care of him. He’ll never admit needing help, he won’t even let others help him, but for some reason he respects you and listens to you. I know I’m asking a lot, but right now Hawks is vulnerable and broken, even if he won’t ever admit it... so please, look after him.”
“What about you?” Endeavor simply asked.
“I... I need to-to disappear for a while.” you looked away, guilt shaking you from the inside.
You felt like you didn't even deserve to look at Hawks one last time.
It was your fault if he had almost died, if he lost his wings, if the government would just throw him away like garbage since they couldn't use him anymore.
His wings were the only thing that managed to make him happy, free, and you took them away from him.
Guilt was crushing you, the weight too unbearable.
You bit your bottom lip to stop it from quivering; you must have looked so pathetic to Endeavor.
"What if he needs you?" the redhead asked.
"He will need emotional support and lots of help, but not from me."
"You realise that the first thing he'll do as he wakes up will be looking for you, right?"
A tear ran down your cheek.
You didn't deserve to be near Keigo after what you put him through.
You also knew he would be looking for you, but fortunately the government wanted you gone for a while, so you took the opportunity.
"Nobody knows where I'm going. If you really need me though... you'll know where to find me."
"What do you mean?" Endeavor looked confused.
"Trust me, you'll just know."
You walked out the door, the salty taste of your tears gently numbing every negative thoughts.