Work Text:
Paul stomped across the deck, his face strict or even borderline angry. He approached Henry with an intensity rarely seen in him. Even Bloody Henry took a step back from it, confusion written all over the young man’s face.
“Where are we headed again?”
“Uhm- a treasure on an island outside Snake’s Bay” He was sure Paul knew this.
“And is there a town somewhere near where we can go on land? A place with a freaking bath house?”
“A- a bath house?”
Henry’s incredulous expression told Paul enough. Don’t any of these pirates ever bathe? Right at that moment, Sky came running up the ladder, clutching his britches and his hat. Paul looked ready to throw his arms in the air in defeat, but instead he clenched his fists and huffed.
“Paul, please! No baths! Soap makes me itch!”
“No! DIRT makes you itch, you… you gross smelly pirate!”
Somewhere above, Jonny who had been listening (of course, when did he ever not listen) laughed a loud snorting laugh. Paul shot him one angry look, and the deckhand shut up immediately.
“Oh come on, it’s not that bad,” Sky objected, moving towards Paul, who effectively ran away from him now.
“No, I’ve endured long enough. You need to get scrubbed clean, because if you stink any more the Navy will be able to track you down by scent alone!”
“Oh, my love is so rude,” Sky said dramatically.
However, Francoise appeared behind him and pinched her nose. “He’s not wrong, your entire room smells like a granny’s dumpster, I nearly died just walking past the door! You’re surrounded by water, but you can’t even wash up? Pathetic!”
“Hehe, surrounded by water,” Jonny laughed.
“Shut up, Jonny,” Paul and Francoise said in unison.
“Personally I agree on visiting a bath house, and I happen to know one,” Francoise added, nodding to Paul, who visibly relaxed.
“Henry, change of plans, before any treasure we are stopping at a harbor with bath house.”
Henry briefly glanced at his real captain, but after seeing him whimper while struggling to tie his pants up, he settled for Paul’s suggestion. “Aye aye, sir.”
Up on the higher deck, Jonny whooped, but it was unclear if that was for the prospect of a bath, or for drinking at a bar. Provided that he had any cash, which was...unlikely. Francoise sighed, but looked a little happy.
“Paul...why do you hate me so much…” Sky sobbed, reaching out to the former Naval Officer, but got his hand slapped away.
“I don’t hate you, idiot. I just want you to start thinking about things like hygiene.”
“Sir, don’t use such difficult words, our captain is but a simple man,” Henry said in a calm manner, changing the course of their beat-up ship.
“It’s knowledge I’m willing to beat into him.” Paul crossed his arms and looked back at Sky.
Francoise was about to go back down, as Jonny hurried over and whispered: “What’s a hi-jean?” She rolled her eyes and grabbed a brush and bucket near the door.
“You clean the deck, but not yourself, nor your room. Think for
once
, deckhand.”
It was fairly clear by the look on Jonny’s face that he still didn’t understand the meaning of the word hygiene, but at least he got to work. Meanwhile, the stand-off between Paul and Sky continued.
“If you won’t wash, I’m not getting within a two meter radius of your presence.”
“But… but Paul… darling dear…” Sky had finally tied his pants, and stood a little helplessly on the deck, pinned to the wooden floor only by Paul’s cold gaze.
“Stop that, you’re embarrassing yourself.”
“Okay... I’ll take a bath… but I’ve got no money…”
Paul sighed. He looked at the rest of the crew. “Does anyone of you have any gold? Silver? Anything?”
Henry gave a knowing smile. “Not me. My last pennies went to eating my last bits of freshly cooked meat on our last stop.”
Jonny turned his pockets inside out, only to drop a bunch of rocks, two worthless coins, and a few candy wrappers.
This was not entirely unexpected of a crew of haphazard pirates whose treasure hunts more often than not ended in failure, so Paul sighed one last time and dove into his own pocket. His personal funds had gone down the drain fast, and he wasn’t left with much.
“I’ll pay up. It’s for the good of the whole crew.”
Sky burst out in gross big tears and tried to fling his arms around Paul again, but the man dodged and Sky stumbled forward, crying even more.
“Hehe the captain is already washing his face, mr. Paul!” Jonny laughed loudly, pointing his brush.
“Stop snivelling, you big baby. Get dressed, and you better wash those clothes while we’re at the bath house or I swear I will kick you off your own ship myself.”
Whining, Sky disappeared below deck and didn’t return until much later. His usual vigor was nowhere to be seen as he stood against the mast, sulking. No one really paid him any mind as this was a bit of a regular occurrence, and even more so after they had picked up Paul.
It didn’t take much longer before they arrived at a port town and debarked, Paul still staying out of that two meter radius while they made their way through the town’s streets. Francoise guided them to the bath house, where a grumbling Paul paid for everyone’s entrance fee.
Once stripped they first washed their clothes and put them out to dry. Sky lured Paul in to scrub him by making puppy eyes at him, even though Jonny was very eager to do some more scrubbing after having scared off Henry by scrubbing too hard.
At last, the four men of Sky’s crew soaked in hot water for a while, and finally Paul could relax. His expression grew softer and kinder, and he even let Sky kiss his cheek.
“Will you sleep in my hut again?” Sky asked, still in his cute phase.
“If you clean it. And wash your sheets.”
“Aww, you’re so strict…”
“And you’re still a dirty pirate, Sky. But I’ll help.”
Paul put his head on Sky’s shoulder and smiled. “I do want to, you know. Sleep in your Captain’s hut.”
Henry took a slow hissing breath. “Come on, Jonny. Time to get out.”
“Wha? Henry, I’m not yet done counting my toes!”
“Come on. Now.”
The deckhand looked like a kid who had to leave the playground, but followed Henry out the door, leaving Sky and Paul by themselves.
“Paul…” Sky lifted his hand, and cupping Paul’s jaw, he kissed him. Paul put his arm around Sky’s neck and let the captain deepen the kiss. It was no longer just the heat that made Paul a little dizzy, but he didn’t mind. Meeting Sky was both the worst and best thing that ever happened to him, and he was in it for the long run.
Provided that Sky learns what hygiene is about, of course.
