Work Text:
Shuichi woke with a small start at his desk, holding his chest as he came back down to earth. He tried to calm his breathing down before glancing at the clock next to him. It read 11:30 PM, indicating he had fallen asleep for about twenty minutes.
He didn’t have time for this.
With a small groan, he stretched his aching body, ignoring any discomfort. He had things he needed to finish. So many projects and requests and homework assignments. He couldn’t afford to waste any more time.
He sighed, rubbing his temples to try and remedy his slightly blurry vision. His head was pounding, but he couldn’t let that stop him. He didn’t deserve a break yet. He hadn’t completed enough work. He’d only finished three assignments and needed to get through at least a couple more and some projects before he could even consider stopping. He clenched a fist, yet again mentally berating himself for letting the workload get this bad. Hope’s Peak may have been a rigorous school, but it was his fault for letting his work pile up like this. If he let it keep piling because he couldn’t keep up, it would only come back to bite him.
So, he had no choice but to finish everything on his own. It was solely his fault and he couldn’t trouble his friends with it.
He turned his laptop back on from sleep mode, the harsh light momentarily blinding him. The work that he had fallen asleep on was on the screen, reminding him of how little he had gotten done in this one sitting. He bit his lip. Most of this was due in the next couple of days and he didn’t have that much time for the other assignments. The bad thing about having assignments given to students a long time before their due date was that people like Shuichi ended doing things like this.
Maybe music would help. It was more than likely going to do nothing for him, but he needed something to tell himself. Music hadn’t even had the same calming effect it usually did as of late and he didn’t know why. Nonetheless, he took his headphones and placed them on, starting some slow song. He sighed shakily before he tried to get something, anything done.
It felt like time dragged on forever as he tried to make some progress, but he found he wasn’t able to focus. He cursed under his breath, growing more and frustrated with himself. Why couldn’t he just do it? It shouldn’t be this damn hard. God, he really was just hopeless.
Before he could delve any further in his spiraling self-deprecation, a bag of sandwiches was placed next to him and his headphones were gently taken off. He blinked before looking over his shoulder.
“You didn’t answer your phone, Shu.” Kaede told her boyfriend softly, a concerned frown on her face. His eyes widened a bit, grabbing for his phone and checking it.
A call and a couple of worried messages from her went entirely unnoticed for a while.
He felt another wave of disdain towards himself rise up and he bit his lip hard. He put his phone down slowly, giving her an apologetic look.
“I’m...I’m sorry, Kaede. I guess I just lost track of time.” He apologized softly, finding it a little hard to meet her gaze all of a sudden. It didn’t do anything to quell her worries.
“It’s alright,” She told him, shaking her head as she gestured to the sandwiches. “When’s the last time you ate?”
“Um…” Shuichi trailed off. When WAS the last time he ate? He honestly couldn’t remember and he didn’t feel particularly hungry. It was probably a bad sign and his lack of response was making his girlfriend’s features worsen a bit. “I’m sorry.”
“You need to eat, Shu. Try and eat these for me?” Kaede requested him gently, wanting him to eat, but not wanting to make him feel too pressured.
Shuichi looked at the sandwiches she brought. They looked like she made them herself. He liked whatever she made him and he didn’t want her efforts to go to waste. He gave a slow nod before grabbing one out of the bag. When he took a bite, it finally hit him how much he needed to eat.
Seeing him eat, Kaede’s features softened a little bit as she took a seat on his bed. They were silent as Shuichi ate the sandwiches. Kaede observed his desk while he ate, seeing the messy way everything was spread across the surface, papers falling out of his book bag. She looked back up to study him himself. Shuichi could feel her gaze and met it with his own for a moment. The concern grew and he felt himself fidget in response.
“When’s the last time you slept, Shu?” Kaede inquired quietly, tilting her head to the side a bit in a questioning manner.
Shuichi was caught off guard, feeling a little put on the spot out of nowhere. Seeing his expression, Kaede gestured him over to the bed. He glanced at his laptop, seeing his unfinished work. He felt like he couldn’t move from the spot, but glancing back at Kaede gave him enough nerve to get up and cross over to the bed. He sat next to her and she reached out, gently cupping his cheek and running her thumb across it. He reacted right away, immediately leaning into her touch and feeling soothed.
“You have dark circles under your eyes.” She pointed out, which let him know that he probably looked worse than he thought. “So, when’s the last time you slept?”
“...I took a little nap a bit ago?”
“And how long did you rest?”
“...Twenty minutes.”
Based on the frown that appeared on her face, Shuichi could tell that he was only making things worse for her. He really wished he had his hat on right now so he could hide away, but it was in his closet.
“Shu...what’s the matter?” Kaede asked gently, placing a comforting hand on his knee. Shuichi took in a small, sharp breath at it. He hadn’t realized how much he just...missed her. He lost a little of the tension he didn’t realize he had in his shoulders. Nonetheless, he couldn’t quite bring himself to believe he deserved it.
“I-I’m fine, Kaede. Really.” He forced out, doing his best to give her a smile. It came out weaker than he intended and she didn’t seem to buy it in the slightest.
“Please, Shu. You can talk to me.” She told him softly, squeezing his knee. He didn’t respond for a moment.
Should he go ahead and tell her? What if she thought it was stupid and regretted even coming here? She didn’t need to deal with his irrelevant issues because he just did this to himself. It wasn’t her fault, so she shouldn’t have to deal with-
“Hey, Shu.”
Shuichi snapped out of his negative train of thought, feeling Kaede rubbing his back. They’d been dating long enough for her to be able to tell when he was getting too lost in his own head. He bit his lip slightly, feeling emotion well up within him. She knew him so well and he knew there was no point in lying.
“I-I’m...just falling behind.” He admitted firstly, clenching his fist and digging his nails into his skin. Kaede wordlessly unclenched his hand before taking it into her own, knowing he wasn’t finished. “I don’t know what to do. Everything is so hard and I don’t think I can handle it.”
“Am I even supposed to be here? I don’t think I’m anything great. I don’t have any really good skills like you and everyone else. I’m called the Ultimate Detective, but I don’t even think I’m worthy of the title. All I’ve done is just solve a couple of small-time cases back at home and worked with my uncle. Kirigiri holds the same name and I can’t even begin to compare to her. It’s getting so hard to just do anything and I’m such a failure and I can’t do anything right and it’s just so terrible and I-”
“Shu.”
Shuichi stopped talking, taking in a shaky breath as Kaede wiped his tears away. Wait, tears? He hadn’t even realized he’d started crying. Ugh, he probably looked so pathetic to her.
“Could you look at me?” She requested softly, no rush or urgency in her voice. She wasn’t pressuring him or making him feel suffocated and he loved her beyond words. He took his time before he slowly met her gaze. She gave him a warm smile as she squeezed his hand.
“Shu, I can’t tell you enough how amazing I think you truly are.” She started, making his heart stutter ever so slightly. “I’ve only seen you grow ever since we met. You’re so smart and I can see immense focus whenever you’re studying a case. You’ve started leaving your hat in your closet because you decided not to hide away any longer. You listen to me ramble about piano pieces and artists and...you’ve listened to me talk about my dreams.” She held a hand to heart, cheeks reddened slightly in a blush. “You’re so great, Shu. You’re not a failure and you’re good enough. I promise you. It may be a little hard to see it sometimes, but you deserve to be here just as much as everyone else. You don’t have to do everything on your own. I’m here to help you along with the rest of our friends. Don’t try and bear the weight of everything on your shoulders. Give some of it to me, okay?”
Kaede finished with a small squeeze of his hand and Shuichi was speechless. Tears were freely rolling down his cheeks and he felt so much of the weight that was suffocating him leave his chest. He wiped at his eyes, only managing a nod as he squeezed her hand in return.
They sat in silence, but it wasn’t nearly as heavy as before. Kaede allowed Shuichi to let everything out, rubbing his back all the while. By the time he settled down, it was pretty late. Shuichi noticed the time, feeling a twinge of disappointment.
“I-It’s getting pretty late.” Shuichi pointed out, sounding a little dejected. Kaede looked at the time before pausing for a moment. With slightly red cheeks, she turned and gave him a smile.
“How about I stay with you tonight? I don’t...I don’t think I want to leave you.” Kaede suggested, feeling a little bit concerned about him not letting himself rest. Shuichi blushed a little himself, but he found himself to be relieved that he wasn’t alone in the feeling.
“I...don’t want you to leave either.” Shuichi admitted, looked off to the side shyly. Kaede giggled a bit happily.
Shuichi smiled a bit upon hearing it as he looked at his laptop. Should he go and finish some more work? He felt better thanks to Kaede, but he still had a lot to do. Maybe he should try and-
“Nope!” Kaede had made her way over to the desk, closing the laptop before Shuichi could even get too far into his thought process. “You need to get some rest, Shu. I’ll help you make some progress tomorrow, but you’ll get nowhere if you’re not getting sleep.”
Shuichi couldn’t exactly argue with that. It could’ve been a factor in him not being able to truly focus. He gave a little nod, suddenly feeling exhausted. He had kept everything in for so long that expelling all of the emotion left him extremely tired. Kaede smiled as she walked back over to him.
“Come on, let’s get changed for bed.” She told him, pulling him up from his sitting position. “Do you mind if I grab something to wear?”
“Of course not. You can take whatever you like.” Shuichi gladly told her.
With that, the two changed into their night clothing. Shuichi was still a little shy about changing in front of his girlfriend despite them having been together for quite a while. Kaede thought it was cute, so she didn’t call him out on it. When they were finished, Shuichi was wearing a t-shirt and shorts while Kaede was just wearing one of his shirts. The shirt was big enough to go a little past her hips, but he still found himself a bit shy about the fact that she had no pants on. Kaede was a little red in the face too, but she just turned off the light and grabbed his hand with a smile, pulling him over to the bed.
“Here, Shu.” Kaede said softly, crawling into the bed first. She held out her arms to him, gesturing for him to enter bed as well. Shuichi blushed a bit, but he did as she wanted, going into her arms.
When he did, she placed his head on her chest as she cradled him close to her. She pet his head gently and Shuichi was immediately in love with it. They’d cuddled some before, but after what just happened, this felt infinitely more intimate. He wrapped his arms around her in return, nuzzling his way into her chest as he lied against her. She began humming softly after a moment. Shuichi let himself get lulled by it, his eyes slowly closing as they lied together. After a while, he felt himself start to fall asleep.
“Kaede?” He spoke softly, almost afraid that if he was too loud that he’d somehow shatter the moment.
“Yes, Shu?” Kaede responded with the same volume.
“Thank you.” He mumbled gratefully, hoping he was able to convey so much into two words. He could never thank her enough for being here for him and even staying with him through times where he was being difficult. “I love you. So much.”
“You don’t have to thank me for anything, Shu. I’ll always be here for you.” She assured him, giving him a kiss on the head. “I love you too. More than you know.”
And with that, he fell asleep listening to the sound of her heartbeat.