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At around 2 AM there was a light knock at Dean's door. He reached out and flipped down the volume on his speakers. Led Zeppelin's guitars were hushed to a low hum.
"Yeah."
The door creaked open. Cas let himself in.
"Hello, Dean."
"Hey Cas. Why're you still up, it's almost-" he stopped mid-sentence. "Right. You don't sleep anymore." He let out a laugh that sounded more like a tired huff.
"What's up? What brings you back?"
Cas was silent for a moment. He turned and shrugged off the trenchcoat and suit jacket, folding them neatly over a chair. He ran a hand through his hair, then across his face.
"I came to help."
Dean gave him a confused look. "With?"
"I know why you're still up." Dean looked away. "You're too scared to close your eyes for fear of what you'll see behind them."
Dean pressed his lips into a tight line, nodding somberly. "Y'know Cas, I'm glad you're here, I really am, but if you're gonna put me through some self-help, therapeutic lecture, I am really not fucking down for it, so-"
"I'm not here to talk."
"You're not here to... then what're you here for?"
Cas didn't reply immediately. He walked to the small twin speakers on the bedside table. He turned the volume up a bit higher. Heaven and Hell floated out into the room. Dean scoffed at the irony.
"Music. We're going to listen to music?"
Cas sat on the edge of the bed across from Dean. "If there's anything I learned as a human, it was that music has a power of it's own. It helps you forget. It lets you live."
Dean blinked. "I'm not even going to ask how the hell you figured that out, but,-" he paused to stretch and let out a yawn, "I'm glad you did. I can live with this."
Cas sighed and threw himself back against the mattress. He folded his hands behind his head. "Good."
//
An hour rolled by and they were still awake.
Cas lay, with his hand propping up his chin, across from Dean who was sitting cross-legged with albums and CDs strewn out in front of him. He listened intently as Dean taught him all there was to know about rock and roll. He was genuinely interested, but he also reveled in the way Dean's face had taken on a new light. It had worked. Dean was so engrossed in talking about Black Sabbath and Deep Purple, nodding his head along to Over the Hills and Far Away, that he'd forgotten all about his misery. At least, for now. And that was all Cas wanted to see.
He was grinning madly when Dean got up and used a rolled up porn magazine as a makeshift microphone, lip syncing along. Then he turned and pointed at Cas.
"Get up, angel. I'm not gonna be the only one making a fool of myself here."
He reached over and snagged Cas's hand, pulling him up to stand.
"But I don't know how to...you know..."
"Who gives a fuck, Cas? No one really knows how to dance. There's no wrong or right way to it." He threaded his fingers through Cas's, and put his other hand on his waist.
"Follow my lead."
Many times I loved
Many times been bitten
Many times I've gazed along the open road
Dean maneuvered them around, with a surprising patience. Every time Cas would miss a step, he'd just guide him back around on balance. After a few tense moments of stumbling around the room, Cas got the hang of it. By the next verse, he was gliding around the room with ease. It was a swing dance, or at least a derivative of one. They swayed from side to side; and practically every ten seconds Dean would let go of one of Cas's hands and let him swing out to turn, and then they'd switch sides and be back in each other's arms again in the blink of an eye.
Many dreams come true
And some have silver linings
Dean looked down at Cas and felt the corners of his mouth tug up into a smile. This was one thing he never knew he wanted.
I live for my dream
And a pocket full of gold
He hummed along to the rest of it as they swayed around the room. Their cheeks were flushed by the end of the song but seeing the grins on each other's faces made up for it.
"See, you're a natural."
"I didn't know I was capable of that kind of coordination." Cas countered the high-five Dean tossed him as he took a sip of his drink.
Then, the echoing strum of the opening to a certain 'Chili Peppers song crept into the room.
Water nearly spurted out of Dean's nose.
Cas turned to him in alarm.
"Are you okay?"
"Fine, I'm fine. No, this is uh...I think Sam's messed with my playlist. I'll just change it to something mor-"
"I like it."
Dean did a double take. "You...what?"
Cas shrugged. "I like it. It's nice."
Dean considered it. "Well, then." He put his hand out. "Wanna go again?"
//
He didn't know if it was because of the song or because they were slow-dancing in achingly close proximity of each other, but Dean's heart felt like it was going to jump out of his chest. He hadn't really ever mentioned it, but the Red Hot Chili Peppers were a guilty pleasure of his. Especially this track. If Dean Winchester could come back in the form of a song, this would be it. But now, here he was, slow-dancing to that exact song with the only person who'd stuck around, hell, the only person still alive other than Sam who actually cared about him.
I'm a dance hall
Dirty breakbeat
Make the snow fall up from underneath your feet
Not alone,
I'll be there
Tell me when you wanna go
They were silent this time. Their faces were inches away from each other. Cas was looking down, moving along with Dean's steps, and after a few moments of staring, Dean noticed that his eyes were closed. He looked so peaceful.
Sideways falling
Don't forget me
I can't hide it
Come again make me excited
At the chorus he spun them around. Cas lifted his arm, fingers still threaded through Dean's, and then glided out from underneath their joined hands. He turned, and they switched sides.
I could show you
To the free field
Overcome, and more
Will always be revealed
You're not alone,
I'll be there
Tell me when you wanna go
Dean cursed himself internally, and he looked up at the ceiling as a tear slid down his face. Thankfully, Cas was too busy focusing on not stepping on Dean's feet to notice his tears. Fuck, stop being a fucking pansy. Not here. Not now. No. This song was fucking him up, especially now that Cas was this close to him.
He'd pulled Cas into this entire mess. Free will. Humanity. And despite how fucking impossible everything had seemed, despite what Satan himself had promised them...they'd proved him wrong. They made it. They fucking made it through together.
He pressed his forehead to Cas's, and sang the last few lines under his breath.
"I'm the bloodstain,"
He swung them to the left. Spin.
"On your shirt sleeve,"
They swayed to the right. Turn.
"Coming down and I am coming to believe,"
The last verse came out in a shaky breath.
"Now we know it all for sure."
He spun Cas away one last time, and then rolled him back into his arms. He leaned his face down to Cas's.
"Don't forget me."
He closed his eyes and pressed his lips to Cas's. He unwound Cas's arms from around him and pulled his face closer. Cas's hand carded through Dean's hair, and then slid down his back and rested on his hip. His fingers pressed into Dean's side as he tugged his body closer against him. Dean's fingers traced loops down Cas's neck as they kissed. He pressed a thumb to Cas's chin and tilted his head to the side and sealed their lips together again. Cas's teeth grazed against his mouth, and his grip on Dean's hips tightened, raising bumps along his skin. Cas brought a hand up to Dean's cheek, and he kissed his way from Dean's lips to his jaw. His breath was hot on Dean's skin, his lips were a warm comfort. He buried his face in Dean's shoulder, pressing open-mouthed kisses to his neck. As his lips made their way back up to Dean's mouth, Cas breathed a single word in reply.
"Never."
Dean didn't know whether the tears he tasted on Cas's lips were coming from Cas or himself but he didn't care, because the only thing that could console him was Cas's kiss. He kissed him over and over again, as if he had to make sure Cas was really there; that this wasn't just some dream he'd wake up from. He held the back of Cas's head, pushing his lips harder against Cas's until he could almost feel them swelling. Cas's hands were gripping onto Dean's shirt, his fingers digging into his skin. Dean kissed him a last time before he finally broke away. He pulled Cas into his arms again, wrapping him up in a tight hug.
"Thank you, Cas. Thanks for staying."
Cas nodded and only managed to break free of Dean's persistent grip after Dean had pressed another kiss to his lips.
"I think I may as well spend the night her-"
Dean didn't even let him finish. He pushed the angel back on to the bed and rolled on top of him.
Through nipping bites and kisses at his neck, and undoing the buttons on Cas's shirt, he replied.
"That's all I need to hear."
- fin -