Chapter Text
Thinking back on the whole story, everything took a one hundred and eighty degrees turn when stockings came on stage.
As to why it happened, they weren’t sure.
Was it the lustful nature of the garment itself? Was it the impelling desire it stirred in them to at last fulfill their dreams and savor the other in real life? Or maybe it was a casual event. Perhaps it could have been anything else, something small though crucial enough to act as the last straw, causing an overflow and sweeping away their walls, their defenses, all the little patches they applied here and there to contain what was constantly and irredeemably growing in their hearts.
They both knew it all started the moment they saw each other for the first time. They both witnessed themselves split in two, where one part carried on their everyday life, and the other lived in the shadow and was allowed to breath exclusively in the most solitary and secretive moments.
They both refused to acknowledge the hidden part of themselves for seven years. But those parts usually become stronger the more you suppress them. You can ignore them all you want, but under the surface they spread like a parasite, they fed off of fears and insecurities, they eat you alive cell after cell.
In the end, ignoring them is no longer an option.
Eventually, something happens and they come out at full force, hitting their host like a wrecking ball and scattering pieces everywhere. And that was exactly what happened.
After seven years of agony and torment, reality came to them and presented the receipt. They could no longer hide.
Then, how things would turn out to be, was a matter of how they managed to collect the fragments and put them back together, while also trying to stay true to themselves.
Needless to say, things were hard. Even though, honestly, a lot of aspects in their lives were good, and helped them along the way.
But nonetheless, it was hard.
Taehyung
‘Oh, well. Fuck.’
There was only one possible explanation for the awareness those delicate and intimate touches caused. Something about them that day felt completely different from all the other times. Was it him? Was it the stockings? Was it the way those ever-so-erotic fingers touched him? He wasn’t sure.
What was crystal clear, however, was that it added to the rollercoaster of emotions, thoughts and dreams of the last few years about the penis-equipped human beings. Similar to an underwater earthquake, the last drop caused a tsunami formed by all the things he tried to keep hidden, and they all came to engulf him whole.
In short, the conclusion could be only one. And let’s be honest. The truth has always been walking right beside him, holding his hand and smiling tenderly.
So, at that point, he understood going back to how things were wasn’t an option.
Also, being the good actor he was, pretending everything was just as fine as before came pretty easily. The best thing to do in that moment was waiting for the day to come to an end, and once alone in his room or under the shower, bawling his eyes out until a headache replaced the tears.
Anyways, while letting the day pass by until he could dive head-first in some well-deserved (yes, of course it was well-deserved. Good boys always deserve good things) breakdown time, he hoped for just a couple of things.
First, that no one around him or watching him through a screen would understand in a million years forward what was happening below his facade.
Second, that especially Jungkook would not understand it.
Simple wishes. He wasn’t asking for the moon, right?
He so hoped it was not impossible to live a life full of lies. Given the fact that already a big part of it was a constant act, expanding it to his full self was no big deal for sure. Maybe there could be some downsides to it, but he would deal with them when the time came.
Right? Nothing frightening about that.
‘Just live your life like it’s not yours, Taetae. You will be fine.’ he thought.
Jungkook
‘Oh, well. Congratulations, you genius. Better stick your hands up the ass next time, huh?’
Better strategy than let them freely do the fuck they want. Although at least it made him realize that he couldn’t deny it any longer, could he? Afterall, the signs were there since the beginning.
During the last two years or so, each day he woke up, hoping that what was growing inside him shrinked during the few hours of sleep.
Instead, each day he woke up, and the moment he heard Taehyung’s soulful voice, or bright laughter, or catched a glimpse of his handsome boxy smile, the thing inside grew wider. Just a tiny bit wider. But still. It grew wider, day after day.
At first it could still be mistaken for a really fond affection and nothing more. He simply enjoyed very much his company, and liked him as a brother. The fact that Taehyung treated him as an equal from the start helped his younger self a lot, resulting in Jungkook basically become Taehyung’s best pal for the first few years.
But ever since they first met, the minimal uncertainty and discomfort he felt from the moment his eyes landed on Taehyung just grew bigger, as much as the attraction and affection for him grew wider. He lived all those past years in co-existence with those complete opposite sides of himself. One that gravitated around Taehyung, propelled by his affection. The other pulling away from him, telling him that what was growing in his heart was undeniably wrong. In the middle, there was him, trying to balance the two sides in some way or another.
Now, after almost seven years, he needed to come to terms with his truth once and for all.
Still, he didn’t quite catch the reason why seeing him like that was so crucial for the enlightenment. Or maybe he knew.
Maybe it was Taehyung confidence, his free spirit, his unapologetic self, his enjoyment and those crescent moon eyes while being showered with compliments.
Or maybe, and just maybe, were those beautiful, lean legs wrapped in a pair of light brown, 20 den stockings and contoured by red velvet, stirring a storm in him and making it quite difficult not to pop a boner in the middle of the filming set. Goddamn youth and ormones.
Yeah. Maybe it was a mix of those.
Yoongi and Taehyung were the losing team. The punishment: dress as girls and do a catwalk.
The older dressed as a pin-up girl. Overall denim shorts, a bit loose; a long-sleeved white blouse underneath, antique rosé coloured stokings, a long and curly blonde wig, and white, opaque dr. Martens. There was no way he would wear high heels. No fucking way. It was already enough with those accessories and make-up.
On the other hand, the younger dressed… Nope, incorrect.
He slayed with confidence a Jessica Rabbit cosplay.
Long, dark orange wig split to cover part of his face. Light, purple eyeshadow; light green contact lenses; red lips; a one-piece short dress, tight enough but still decent, in vivid red velvet, and fake boobs. Purple gloves till the elbow and a pair of light brown, 20 den stockings. To top it all off, he was wearing heels. And just like that time where he danced I Need You wearing a pair of them, he walked steadily, perfectly balanced.
When he entered the filming set all the boys, including Yoongi, cheered loudly for him.
Taehyung immersed himself in the character, swayed the hips, a hand on them, chin high and a seductive expression. He walked back and forth a few times between the boys, turning for the cameras, acting like a real model on the runway. He flipped his hair and sent a kiss to the future viewers, before showing his boxy smile and lovely laugh. Even the cameramen felt somehow enchanted by the performance.
Taehyung genuinely had fun during the show. He took his time to show off his cosplay, going around and acting coquettish.
After a while they were asked to wrap up the episode, he and Yoongi walked together towards the camera and the shooting came to an end.
The boys lingered around at the shooting set, taking selfies and videos, before gathering in the restroom to change and refresh themselves.
Some of them kept chatting and went to eat some snacks, surrounded by staff and managers. Yoongi went to change while drinking a fruit juice.
Jungkook was sticking to Taehyung, as always. They both sat down on a sofa, and Jungkook watched curiously Taehyung while the latter took another couple of selfies.
A moment later, and after a quick eye check of the surroundings like he was just about to commit a crime, Jungkook’s hand caressed lightly those beautiful legs. He was curious, in a way, of what would stocked legs feel like to the touch. He also wondered how could a guy’s legs be so fucking erotic.
Completely assorted in the task, he let his hand go a bit too high there. And that was it.
Taehyung looked down before darting the gaze directly in Jungkook’s face. Pulling away the hand in an instant and feeling guilty like a kid caught stealing candies, Jungkook looked immediately at the ground, ashamed and embarassed, keeping his mouth shut and fidgeting on the spot. His cheeks started to burn up, and he wanted so bad to travel back in time and never do that.
What could he say as a defense? What was Taehyung thinking? Would it be possible to just let it slide like it never happened in the first place?
Trying not to be seen, Jungkook peered at Taehyung, eager to spot a reaction of some kind.
Surprisingly, Taehyung didn’t say anything. He watched him for a bit, then got back to the selfies.
Jungkook took a deep breath of relief. He decided it was better not to be near Taehyung while he was still dressed like that. He stood up and went to eat something to try to distract himself.
That night, unaware of one another, they both jerked off with minds full of beautiful legs in stockings and hands exploring them. Fantasies packed with greedy kisses, short breaths and hot skin under clumsy and hurried touches projected in front of their eyes. Electric sparks running through their bodies and shaking them whole.
As intense as it was, the experience left them with the fear of being discovered mixed with the desire to live those fantasies in real life.
They amost felt drunk, completely lost in their fucked up ruminations.
One lying in bed, the other crounched down in the shower, that night they both had to admit they were, without a doubt, in love with the wrong kind of human, in the wrong country, at the wrong time, in the wrong circumstances.
The only conclusion that came out of all that, was that they were screwed. Badly.