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Putting the correct key on the lock, Juliet turned it right twice before a click sound was heard and they knew the door was unlocked. She pushed the wooden piece open, entering first and making room for her dangerously quiet husband to enter too.
He made his way straight to the living room, not looking up once, caught up in his mind and thoughts. Juliet watched him attentively, pondering how she would start digging the depths of his reasoning, wondering how much of that conversation she was prepared to handle.
Despite both being on the same page regarding having a child right now, Jules knew in her heart that being a mom was in her plans, always was. And after so many years living by Shawn’s side, being just friends or married as they were now, she knew he was fond of kids too, being him the one bringing up the subject occasionally.
They weren’t ready yet. She knew it, and so did Shawn.
But one day she would be. And what scared her the most was that, after this little experience, this simple mistake, Shawn would push all thoughts regarding fatherhood away from his mind and plans.
From her spot still at the entrance, she watched her husband start to pace around, hands in his hair, his eyes unfocused, gazing at something distant and far from reach.
She knew what was all that about.
It was more than a mere confrontation of insecurities and fears.
Juliet was proud of how easily she could read Shawn. She knew exactly what was on his mind, and when she didn’t, Gus was always there to fill the gaps, just like he did that afternoon after all congratulations were exchanged, and she got a moment to speak with her husband’s best friend in private, while Shawn was distracted in discussing baby names with Selene who, by now - Juliet was sure - it was already regretting a little her decision to marry Gus and, unwilling, Shawn too.
At first, she could barely contain the anger, rising in her chest like a fire, at Henry’s words. How did he dare say that about his own son? After how much Shawn had changed and matured. She was proud of him, of them, and the relationship they had built together. But after hearing Gus for a little longer, Juliet realized that Henry was deeply sorry for his words and, knowing the older Spencer as she did now, being part of his crazy and unconventional family, she's sure his bitter comment was spilled much more because of the stress and annoyance over Shawn’s shenanigans than because he truly believed in his words. She knew Henry didn’t mean saying those things to his son and was sure the man tried to mend things later.
But she also knew Shawn, which meant no matter how good his father’s reconciliatory speech was, his first words would stick in his head, repeating themselves like a stuck record over and over until he shut down, either giving up completely on the idea of becoming a father or trying to prove his father wrong by adopting five puppies at once.
Either scenario was threatening enough to make Juliet shiver slightly.
Slowly, she walked towards her troubled husband. With a gentle grip on his shoulder, she ended with his pacing. Startled, he glanced at her, eyes wide and clouded, the green in them intense.
“Shawn…”
She let his name dissolve in the silent air surrounding them. Her hand descended from his shoulder, caressing his arms until it stopped at his hand. Juliet laced her fingers in his, squeezing them reassuringly, signing she was there and ready for whatever outburst to come, pushing her own fears aside.
“Talk to me.”
He kept staring at her, his eyes still a little unfocused but rawer, more honest, glistening with such mixed emotions Juliet couldn’t discern one from the other. He cleared his throat, losing the light grip on her hand, passing his trembling hands through his hair, which was starting to get messier and a little greasy.
“You know Jules, maybe my father was right. I’m … It’s just a matter of time before I fail…”
“Shawn, don’t say that.”
“No, Jules. It’s true. I mean… I wasn’t ready. I’m not yet. I just panicked. What if you’re pregnant? I know you said you’re cool, and I believe you are, but… What if… I was going to be terrible...:”
“Hey, hey! Shawn, listen to me.” Juliet took a step closer to him, faces now inches apart while she looked at his eyes intently, trying to convey as much honesty as possible in her words. “You’re not gonna be terrible. I’m not ready too, not yet. We’ve been married for only seven months now. We can wait a little longer.”
He looked at her, green orbits still haunted by the invisible ghosts the words of his father were.
“Look, when the time comes, and we plan this, you’re gonna be great!”
“How do you know that? I have zero background to work with, and I can barely handle myself. I…”
She grabbed his hands in hers again, more firm this time, drawing soothing patterns with her thumbs in an attempt to calm him down a little.
“You know what you did today? Putting yourself in front of me? Protecting me from that guy even if I was the one with a gun?”
“Yeah” In another moment Shawn would, for sure, brag about his heroic act, as he would put it, but the dept of that conversation stopped him from saying any words, confining him in just nodding slightly.
“Even though it was a very stupid thing to do because you could have easily been killed, and I would shoot you myself if you ever left me like that … Your first instinct, your first thought, was to protect me. You didn't think twice. You’ve been protecting me since we met, and I know that you’re gonna do the exact same thing for our baby. And that’s how I know you can never fail, how I know you’ll be an incredible dad.”
“Jules...I don’t know. I mean, it’s you. I’ll always protect you, and the baby…”
“What was the first thing you said when you thought I was pregnant?”
“I freaked out a little.”
“A lot…”
Shawn chuckled slightly at the amount of knowledge his wife had on his reactions and behaviors. His heart swelled a little.
“Okay, a lot…”
“No, what were your first words?”
“That I assumed we would start with a hamster? Or, or, maybe a mini-leopard?”
“No...Wait, what?”
Shawn sighed, frustration was taking over him again, and he couldn’t stop his hands from passing through his hair for what seemed the hundredth time that day.
“I don’t know Jules… I told Gus I wasn’t ready. I… I panicked and…”
“And…”
“And I told him we weren’t prepared. This loft isn’t prepared. You know that these windows don’t even fully close. I’m gonna have to replace them otherwise…”
“Otherwise this is Baby’s Day Out all over again.”
Shawn stopped his pacing, which had returned a few moments ago, his mouth hung open as he stared, dumbfounded, at his wife, who had just repeated his exact words from hours before.
“Will you marry me?”
“Yes, Shawn.”
He smiled at her, feeling the threatening fast heartbeats slowing considerably as he calmed down, her presence and mesmerizing eyes bringing him to a more relaxed, less exasperated mood.
“Jules I…”
“Shawn, your first thought was to protect the baby, even if you didn't know I wasn’t the one pregnant, even if the baby wasn’t even born yet. Despite all the spiraling, the first thing that crossed your mind was the safety of our child.”
He stared at her, letting her words sink in.
“Look, Shawn… You’re gonna be an amazing father when the right time comes. You care, and you have the consciousness and desire to change, to not commit the same mistakes your father did, and I’ll certainly have to work to change my parents' mistakes too. But the most important thing of all is that we’re going to do this together. No matter what, it’s you and me.”
Stepping closer to him again, Juliet rested both hands on his shoulders, observing his eyes stare at her with pure adoration and overwhelming love, causing her to smile adoringly.
“Shawn, I’ve seen you with Iris, with Lily, with my nephews, even with my friend’s children. You’re great with kids. And before you say it’s because you’re one yourself…” Shawn chuckled again at his wife’s “psychic” abilities. “I assure you it’s not. It’s because you make those kids feel safe and loved, even if they aren’t yours. You’re the sweetest man I know and, despite anything people may tell or think about you, I’m the one who knows you, I’m the one who has the honor to build a life with you, and there is no other man I will even want to be the father of my babies.”
With one last step, Juliet closed the space between her and Shawn, locking their lips in a sweet and reassuring kiss, expressing all the love, trust, and faith she had in him. Her arms wrapped around his neck, her fingers caressing the hair at his neck, while he secured her in his embrace, allowing himself to melt under her touch and let all his concerns and preoccupations flow out of his body.
When they parted, Juliet remained with her arms around Shawn, watching his face enlighten with a genuine smile, his eyes lively and joyful, the previous fear still there but surmounted by the love he felt for his wife, and the patience and care she always had for him.
“I love you, Juliet Spencer O’Hara. Very much.”
She joined him in that heartwarming smile, her own doubts losing their power over her.
“I love you too, Shawn Spencer.”
She pecked his lips again, kissing him once more, just because she could, just because there wasn’t anyone she loved more than him. Shawn stepped away, just a little, to plant a kiss on her forehead, enjoying the comfort and peace only his Juliet could bring him.
“Jules, when I told you earlier that you’re my person… I mean it.”
“I know Shawn, you’re my person too.”
His eyes sparkled with that newfound wave of love for his wife.
“Oh, and for the record, there’s no other woman I will ever want to be the mother of my kids.”
And with that, and his arms holding her tightly, Juliet knew that, as long as she had Shawn with her, there was nothing in this world she couldn’t face.
And when she rested her head on his shoulder, her soft breath warming the skin of his neck, Shawn knew that, no matter how scarring fatherhood could be, no matter how much he feared to mess everything up, he would never be alone.
Now he knows that, when the day comes, when those two pink stripes glow in front of his eyes, he will be ready because he has his Jules and their love to reassure him that together, they can conquer anything.