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“It’s not going to work” Remus throws his hands up into the air in frustration.
“It will” Roman growls out equally as irritated, though the defiance in his pose negates his angry tone.
“We’ve been trying for over half an hour” Remus points his finger accusingly at his brother “and I can’t even come near you without you grimacing in disgust.” “Let’s just, let’s just talk with the director again and ask him to cut out the scene” he sighs.
“The kiss is the whole point of the play” Roman exploded “you can’t just cut it out, without it there’s no reason for the whole story at all.”
“Well, I’m certainly not going to embarrass myself in front of hundreds of people when they realize that my own brother can’t even endure a fake kiss with me without having to throw up.”
Remus’ hard words feel like a blow and suddenly all of Romans anger dissolves “That’s not… that’s not what this is about.” and he realizes what a feeble attempt of salvaging the situation it is.
“It’s not?” Remus eyebrows rise and his look makes Roman feel like an insect that is being examined in a petri dish. “I know you’re capable of kissing scenes. You even managed a pretty convincing fake kiss with Jonathan when he was in that disgusting slimy costume so what’s different now? Oh wait, it's me.”
Remus shoulders drop a bit, he’s not even angry at Roman honestly who can blame him he just wants a smoke to clear his head. “Look, let’s take a break, I need some fresh air and time to think because I don’t understand…
“Because it’ll destroy me!” the sudden shout from Roman interrupts him and he whips his head around to stare at his brother. “All of the things I shouldn’t want, all of the things I shouldn’t desire, to get it but have it burned into my mind as a cold fake mock of my deepest dream, it would surely shatter me into thousands of unsavable pieces." Roman thinks that maybe he’s already shattered. Every second of silence following his outburst is stinging like a shard beneath his skin.
“You really never stop talking like a pretentious little git, do you?” Remus taunt so familiar between them it makes Roman chuckle hollowly.
“That’s me” he says with a fake cheer “walking into hell and greeting the devil in Shakespearean”. He keeps his eyes focused on the floor before him, not daring to look his brother in the face. Silence stretches between them again, dense and heavy before Remus breaks it with an unusually calm and serious voice.
"You know, I had to learn very early how to deal with everything that’s in my head."
Brown eyes look up from the floor in confusion, but Remus has already turned his back on Roman, hands playing with the incident light on the windowsill as he continues.
“My thoughts were “evil” my ideas were “evil”. I had to learn to examine myself, to apply context, not to take the judgements of other too serious and to let my mind do its thing without giving it too much weigh. Your friend Patton would blow a blood vessel if he’d hear me say it but sometimes, I think that of all of our friends and acquaintances, I probably have the healthiest mindset.”
“I… I don’t… What does that have to do with anything?” Roman stumbles over his words uncharacteristically while still staring at his twins back. He can see the movement of Remus shoulders as he takes a deep breath before answering.
“With all the stuff going on my head, realizing that I've fallen in love with you was remarkable easy to come to terms with.”
The harsh sound of Romans teeth clicking together due the force with which he closed his mouth makes Remus finally turn around and look at his brother.
“It was shocking, at first. But after thinking it over for a while it seemed pretty logical so I’ve learned to accept it as a part of me, like so many other things. I wrapped the feeling around my heart, never planning to disturb it and just, let it warm me like a comfortable blanket.” Remus continued while walking slowly towards Roman. He lifts his left hand and strokes his knuckles over Romans cheek, so softly, it’s barely the hint of a touch.
Romans eyes are big and wide, surprise clearly written into them. Remus wants so much to just kiss him, wrap himself around him and never let him go. But his brother’s words still echoed in his ears and their significance weighs heavily on him. “Shouldn’t want, shouldn’t desire”. His beloved Roman, always so eager to please the audience, on stage or in the real world.
“We’ll talk to the director” he repeats his words from before “I’m sure we can come up with a fitting substitute for the kissing scene together. After all,” his mouth turns into a bittersweet smile “we’re the Creativity Twins” he says almost playfully while turning away to leave. Hoping to find some props to break before he breaks himself.
“The kiss is the whole point of the play” Romans soft voice freezing him effectively into place “you can’t just cut it out” he continues while walking around Remus to stand before him. He caresses Remus cheek with the knuckles of his right hand, mirroring his twins movement from earlier “without it there’s no reason for the whole story at all.”
Looking deep into each other’s eyes they move together and their lips meet in a soft kiss. Starting barely as a touch but getting deeper, harder, opening their mouths and tasting each other in a way neither of them had thought possible. Roman wraps his arms around his brother and Remus hands are clenched into the fabric of Romans shirt on his back, never wanting to let go.
“I don’t think we can implement that kiss into a PG play” Remus says after the lack of oxygen forces them to separate. He can feel Roman shacking with silent laughter in his arms before he lifts his head and looks at him with so much love that it makes Remus’ heart burst.
“Think we can pull off a stage kiss?” Roman asks mischievously and Remus dives down for another one.
“Let’s try.”