Work Text:
Dear Diary,
I’m so nervous- I don’t want to tell him I’m pregnant again.
Don’t get me wrong-he’s a wonderful father, doting on Emma and Louis. The twins just love him. He’s so determined to be better than his own father; I see it in every snuggle, every playtime, and yes, every mischief two three-year-olds can get into that needs a time-out.
(Frankly, I don’t know how I got to be so lucky. My fourteen-year-old self would be tripping over thin air in utter giddiness daily if she knew I had married the love of her life. It took a few years, and a couple wrong turns, but now- now we are the family I’d always dreamed of.)
But with the new Hawkmoth- she calls herself ‘Monarch’, but I call her ‘Viceroy’ in my head- acting up, Paris can’t afford to be without Ladybug. And Adrien has a problem with me fighting while pregnant. Not that he says anything. He just gets this crease between his brows and a set to his chin that I can recognize from years of watching him sacrifice himself for me. And he doesn’t need to.
(Viceroy- I call her that, because she pretends to be the grandest villain ever while only being a faint shadow of Hawkmoth at his worst. At least Gabriel had an understandable motivation- not a good motivation, but an understandable one. I could almost pity him.
There is no such feeling with Viceroy. She, as far as we can tell, just wants to hurt everyone for ‘not giving her her due’. And she wants any Miraculous she can get her hands on, until she has them all. Which is her version of ultimate power, I suppose.)
The second I tell him, though, he’ll call out the whole team; I know he will. And that’s dangerous; having so many Miraculous in play is what Viceroy wants, the more there are out there, the more chances she has to steal them. I can’t let that happen; I’m the Guardian!
It’s bad enough she ambushed and nearly killed Silverspot to get his Miraculous. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself, though Beau says he has forgiven me. He says I could’ve never seen it coming.
I should have.
I knew there was an evil Butterfly-wielder different from Hawkmoth in the future. I should have seen it coming!
I have to be Ladybug. Until we get Nooroo back. And I’m not showing yet, Tikki says I’m fine, the doctor says I’m fine-
-but I can’t lie. Not to him. Not ever to him again.
We’ll be facing Timetagger soon. I have to be there for that. I know Bunnyx is the one doing most of the fighting (her and our past selves). But I HAVE to be there. My old diary and my memories match.
Maybe I can tell him afterward. When time will no longer be a problem.
It’s got to happen soon. I can’t hide this forever. He won’t let me be there if he knows. And I don’t want to risk our child any more than he does. Even when all of time hangs in the balance.