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You Drive Me Crazy

Summary:

Zane and Aster show up to Tristan's Mazda dealership and shop for the best deal they can find, while Tristan tries to piece together what happened to their old Mazda.

Notes:

I did actual research on the car in question, so I'm basically an expert on Mazdas now

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Seeing a jet black Aston Martin pull into his dealership wasn’t something Tristan expected that day, and he watched closely as it parked and the engine cut before he fully believed whoever was in the car meant to be there. It was even more unexpected when out stepped Aster Phoenix and Zane Truesdale, pro dueling’s most intimidating couple. Usually he’d already be out on the lot, but his shock had frozen him to his seat. He shook off the disbelief and hurried out of his office to greet them.

“--and we should definitely get this feature,” Aster was saying, showing Zane something on his phone.

“Hi there,” Tristan greeted with a friendly smile, ingrained in him from years of working customer service. “Tristan Taylor, owner of Taylor Mazda. How can I help you two today?”

His smile was not returned by Zane, who just stared coldly at him. A stare that could rival Kaiba’s, Tristan thought as he tried not to be intimidated by someone so much younger than him. Aster, however, put his phone in his pocket and smiled, stepping in front of Zane to shake Tristan’s hand. “Hello, we’re here to buy a 2020 Mazda 3 Sedan. We’re looking for the select package, and I have a list of additional options we’re looking for.” Aster looked pointedly at Zane then back at Tristan. “We’ve found ourselves with the need to replace our old model.”

Tristan nodded. “Of course. We have some models already on the lot that I can show you.” He paused before asking his next comment. “Though, I have to say we do have some sportier models that would be a great fit for anyone of your caliber.”

Aster waved the comment away. “We’re looking for a sensible sedan.” He smiled again, and Tristan felt like he was losing an argument despite the seemingly friendly conversation. The excitement of meeting big dueling stars was quickly falling away, being replaced with a sense of impending doom. Tristan kept his friendly face on, not one to be ruffled so easily - he’d had an unhappy customer try to run him over with a car before; he could handle an icy look.

“This way, then,” he said as he led the two to the newer model sedans. “So are you looking for front wheel drive or all wheel drive?”

Zane grunted. “Does it matter?”

Before Tristan could give and answer, Aster cut him off, once again stepping in front of Zane. “We’re looking for the stability on slippery roads that all wheel drive gives us.” He looked back at Zane. “We ran into some issues with that with our last car.”

The sense that there was something more going on dug at Tristan, and he was curious, but didn’t dare ask questions. That wasn’t good business. There was to be no curiosity - no judgement - at his dealership. He could speculate on his own what happened with the last car. For now, he was here to sell them the Mazda of their dreams, despite Zane’s sour looks. Aster kept the steady smile on his face but still looked like a predator ready to pounce. Tristan had seen that look on Kaiba, too. Well, he never let Kaiba scare him, and he definitely wouldn’t let these two twenty-somethings do it either.

“All wheel drive sounds great for what you’re looking for. I have a few different options in the Mazda 3 line on site.” He walked directly to the line of cars. “Now, we can look at some more details here, but standard with all of these comes--”

“I want the white one,” Zane interrupted, walking up to the only white car in the line.

“Ah, yes,” Tristan said quickly following Zane. “The snowflake white pearl mica is one of our premium paint options, and--”

“The color doesn’t matter if it doesn’t have the tech options we’re looking for.” This time it was Aster interjecting. He and Zane shared a look, before Aster continued speaking. “No, I know you want this color, but we have to think practically.” Tristan was sure the two of them hadn’t said anything out loud during the split second they had looked at each other, but Tristan had seen weirder things in his life and married-people telepathy was far down on the list.

“We do have a shop on site,” Tristan offered. “So if one of the other cars don’t meet your color preference, we can have that fixed within a week.”

With another chilling smile, Aster placed a hand on Zane’s shoulder. “See? There’s other things to think about.”

“Hmph,” came Zane’s reply, but offered no further argument as Aster pulled his phone out.

“Now, of course,” Aster began, scrolling through his phone, “I’m very interested in the wireless charging pad. Bringing a charging cable back and forth inside can be a problem if we forget, or if there’s damage to the car itself, and we can’t even go get the cord.” That was an interesting statement. “A minor inconvenience, sure, but something to think about.”

“Oh yes,” Tristan agreed, trying not to dwell on what kind of situation they could have gotten in where they couldn’t get their charging cable from the car. “This one, here, has one pre-installed as well as standard features like a lane departure warning along with lane assist.”

Aster grinned. “That is one of the features that is absolutely necessary for us.” Zane was looking off to the side, seemingly ignoring the conversation. The tension hadn’t subsided and Tristan thought they could have gotten in an accident, and that was why they were acting so weird about buying a new car.

“I see here that some come with a navigation system?” Aster asked, pulling Tristan out of his thoughts.

Tristan nodded. “That’s included in this one with the seven-inch LCD display.” Aster nodded appreciatively and Tristan pulled out his box of keys. “Keyless entry and push to start capabilities, too,” he added as he unlocked the door with a pleasant beep. He opened the door and gestured for one of them to get in the driver’s side.

After another pointed look from Aster, Zane got into the driver’s seat. He must have been the one driving when the old car was damaged, Tristan surmised. Zane took a moment to adjust the seat and run his hands over the steering wheel. “It’s nice,” he said.

“Leather wrapped steering wheel and gear selector,” Tristan said as he moved to the other side to let Aster in the passenger side.

Aster frowned. “I don’t like the floor mats.”

“I can offer the high wall floor mats, as well as a cargo mat,” Tristan said. “Some people just prefer the low wall mats.”

“The low wall allows dirt to get everywhere,” Aster said, as he looked over the console and dash. “Overall very nice.”

“Can we take a test drive,” asked Zane.

Tristan opened the back door and got in. “Of course,” he answered the same time Aster said, “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

The three of them sat in silence for a few moments. Zane broke the silence and grumbled. “I’m not going to buy a car without knowing how it handles on the road, Aster.”

Aster sighed but leaned back, buckling the seatbelt. “Fine.” Tristan buckled his own seatbelt, feeling less sure about riding in a car with someone he suspected had crashed his last one. As they pulled out of the lot, Tristan went over the airbags. Aster had been impressed with the front driver and passenger knee airbags. Really, anything that was a safety feature seemed to lift Aster’s spirits. Zane kept his steely gaze on the road. In fact, he was such a steady driver, Tristan couldn’t imagine anything that would have caused him to crash a car. This was the smoothest ride he’d ever had and that was even accounting for the new wheels and recent alignment.

As he felt more comfortable in the car, he highlighted some of the fancier features, and was pleased that Aster had also included them in the list of features he was looking for. He’d definitely done his research and Tristan was sure he could make a sale today. The two of them looked happy with this car. Or at least as happy as Tristan had seen Zane all day.

On the way back, Tristan made some light conversation, asking about some tournaments coming up, mentioning his best friend would be in a couple. That lightened the mood even more. Talking about dueling usually put his customers at ease, and with professional duelers, it was even more fun.

“Oh, I heard some kids have started dueling on motorcycles,” Tristan mentioned casually. “I have a bike, myself, and I’m not sure that’s too safe.” He leaned over the center console. “Have you guys seen any of that going on?”

Zane gripped the steering wheel tight, and Aster snickered. Turning to look at Tristan, Aster grinned. “It’s incredibly unsafe to duel on a motorcycle.”

The joy in Aster’s eyes was probably concerning, and Tristan didn’t want to know more. “Yeah it’s a bad idea,” he said as he leaned back in the seat.

The rest of the ride back was quieter, with Aster commenting on some more of the features and Tristan answering any of his questions. Overall, it was one of the nicer test drives he’d done. Just as he thought, once they were back, Aster announced this was the car they wanted to buy.

“And the new paint is done on site?” Zane confirmed. Tristan would laugh that someone so powerful and scary-looking was so into owning a white Mazda sedan. But he was a professional and he didn’t like the intense look in Zane’s eyes.

“Yes, my technicians are top notch.” Having worked in his dad’s factory for a few years, he knew good work when he saw it.

“Good,” Zane said, looking every bit as if he would electrocute Tristan for any subpar answer.

The three of them sat in Tristan’s office, knowing what was about to come. The price tag on the car was $29,500 but sticker price meant almost nothing when it came to what would actually be paid. “The premium paint will bump up the price a bit, but I’m sure that won’t be too much hassle,” Tristan offered.

Aster’s icy smile hit him right in his soul. He managed not to shiver as he waited for the other to speak. “Twenty-five three,” Aster countered.

The four-thousand dollar price difference wasn’t unheard of for a haggle, but it was a pretty ballsy move. “With all the extra options, that won’t be possible. I can give you a discount on the paint, and definitely take off the cost of the mats, including the cargo mat and the rear bumper guard should really be standard anyway. I can do-” he paused to quickly do the math in his head, “-say about twenty-nine even.”

The look both Zane and Aster gave Tristan wasn’t a hopeful one. They clearly came in with a mission and didn’t want to back down. Tristan knew what price point was the lowest he’d go, and he knew his first offer would be rejected, but haggling was a fun game. He had done it since he was a kid going to the outdoor market with his parents. He wanted to see what Aster would bring to the table.

“I understand there’s some premium options here, along with the extra labor that will need to go into the paint job, but let’s not play like children.”

There was a spark in his eyes and Tristan felt a rush as well. So many people were content to just come to the dealership and pay sticker price - which was fine for his business - but finding someone willing to haggle was fun. It was like dueling in a way. Just without the cards or the holograms or the prestige, and in his experience, without the magical entities constantly trying to destroy the world.

Aster looked thoughtful. “Twenty-five eight could be more reasonable.” Zane twitched a bit. His impatience might be a good sign that Tristan could keep on the higher end of his offer. Then again, it might mean he’d be murdered right here in his office.

“Hm,” Tristan said as he looked down at the documents. Aster had raised his price by the same amount Tristan had lowered his. An interesting move. He could weigh that budge with the possible murder and be a little more generous with his next offer. “Now I don’t think that covers the costs here. The navigation system is pretty pricey, and the all wheel drive takes a certain amount of technical build. We’ve got to account for that.” He looked up and smiled again. “But I can see some costs cut elsewhere. And honestly this is a pretty big discount, but I don’t think I can go lower than twenty-eight six.” That was well within the Blue Book pricing, though on the higher end. It’d be interesting to see how Aster would counter this time.

“Oh, of course,” Aster said. “And that sounds pretty reasonable, but it is still out of our budget.” Tristan managed not to snort at that. They drove here in an Aston Martin; their budget was fine. “Perhaps since the body work is done locally, that can bring the price down even further for you.” Aster looked thoughtful for a moment then opened his mouth to speak. “We can probably do twenty-six.”

A much smaller increase than Tristan’s decrease. He had a better idea of what price point Aster would be willing to agree on. Zane’s jaw looked ready to snap in half just from the tension. Tristan smiled. If he could just ride this out, he might get to a breaking point. A small bit at a time. “Well you make a good point, but be reasonable. You’re playing lowball here.” He shrugged. “Twenty-eight four-fifty is the absolute lowest I can go.”

Aster chucked. “I know that’s not true. I feel I’m being very generous here, but you’re just jerking me around. Let’s be fair and go for twenty-six two.”

Tristan laughed back. “Oh, now you’re jerking me around. I want to be reasonable and give you the best offer. We can come to an arrangement with our loyalty program, and that can knock it down to--”

Zane stood up with a frustrated yell, kicking the chair back. Both Tristan and Aster jumped in their seats. “You’re both jerking each other around. Just pick a price and be done with it!” He pointed at Tristan. “You have no honor and should be ashamed to call yourself a salesman! You want a fight so bad, let’s get out of this office and settle this over a duel. If I win, we go with our original offer, and if you win, we go with yours.”

Tristan stared blankly at Zane. “I am… not doing that.” He hadn’t had more than a friendly duel in years, and he’d never been at a professional level. He certainly wasn’t going to duel over the price of one of his cars with one of the top duelists in the world.

Laughing, Aster stood up and placed a hand on Zane’s shoulder. “Zane, please, the man is just doing his job. We both know very well that dueling isn’t the answer to everything. That’s why we’re in this mess in the first place.” He looked again at Tristan as Zane sat back in his seat, looking calmer but with arms folded and a more pronounced scowl on his face. “Tristan, I think we know where this is going. I suggest you make a real offer before he brings out the shock collars.”

Tristan didn’t know what the hell that meant, but he wasn’t about to find out. “Okay. Twenty-seven four, and I swear that really is the lowest I can go. I do have to make a profit.”

“Of course,” Aster agreed. A glint in his eyes said this wasn’t over, though. “I know the wireless charging pad doesn’t need to be quite that much. Knock off an extra seventy-five dollars and we’ve got a deal.”

Tristan stood up, holding out his hand to shake on the deal. “I’ll even throw in a pack of air fresheners. Your choice of scent.”

“Excellent,” Aster said as he took Tristan’s hand. “Draw up the papers and Zane will sign.” He smiled at his husband. “Don’t crash this one.”

I knew it, Tristan thought as he pulled up the document contract, putting in the correct options and pricing they’d agreed on. The paperwork was straightforward, and they’d figured out the leasing agreement easily, Zane signing and begrudgingly shaking Tristan’s hand before turning to leave the office.

“The paint job should be done by Friday and I’ll call you as soon as possible, so there won’t be any further delay.”

“Thank you,” said Aster before he turned as well, placing a hand on Zane’s back as they walked out. As he was closing up, Tristan looked through some news he’d fallen behind on, stopping to look intently at an article detailing a motor vehicle accident in which the two participants had been dueling on the highway. A motorcycle had spun out onto the median, but a white 2015 Mazda 3 had gone off road and into a lake. Only one injury was reported with the motorcycle driver. Tristan shut down his computer and tried to imagine any scenario where a car crashes into a lake, but none of the passengers end up underwater or injured. That was it; he was officially intimidated by Zane and Aster.

Notes:

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