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It wasn't that Hebe minded that the festival of Daisia had turned into a wedding. Not at all. It just would have been nice to get a little notice. A little advanced warning. Weddings should be beautiful.
Hephaestos had been nice to her. Aphrodite was very pretty. Her mother didn't like it when Hebe said that, because Mother said Aphrodite was the reason husbands betrayed faithful wives with slutish whores, or something or other.
Hebe clutched the flagon that her brother Hephaestos had given her. It was pretty and the handle was perfect. It fit into her hand. Not like her old flagon, which actually had hurt a bit when she had to balance plates on her other arm, which she did a lot.
The flagon was the most pretty thing she'd ever owned, and Hephaestos had just given it to her. To be nice. There hadn't actually been a great deal of nice in her life. Kindness.
Athena said it was the result of the gynaeceum being full of the daughters of Zeus, but no aunts and grandmothers, and she should see if she could get Aunt Demeter or Aunt Hestia to visit the gynaeceum for a little weaving. Athena was the smartest person Hebe knew so that was probably the problem. Although she'd never seen her mother visit the gynaeceum, much less weave anything there, and as far as Hebe knew, Hestia never left her fire. But she promised to speak to Aunt Demeter, who was visiting with her daughter, Kore, who was Hebe's half-sister.
Hebe had a lot of half-brothers and sisters.
Anyway, Hebe clutched her urn and felt terrible because she hadn't done anything nice for Hephaestos. If she'd known that Sky-Father Zeus was going to arrange Hephaestos' wedding to Aphrodite, she'd have made a different feast. A better feast. After all, Diasia was a bit… well… it was held in the middle of the night kind of feast and kind of nasty what with the blood of the sinful needing cleaning or something.
So, she made some especially nice nectar. She was really proud of it. She carried her flagon carefully up the stairs. Past the creepy fresco of great-grandfather having his thingy cut off by grandfather. Past the fresco of the final battle with the Titans where Hebe had had to fix some of the missing gods, because Mother had blasted the image. Hebe had done her best, but… at least it wasn't creepy.
Into the great hall, but Hephaestos wasn't even there.
She asked Hermes, "Have you seen Hephaestos and Aphrodite?"
He held out his cup so she poured him some special nectar, because that was what she was there for.
"Lucky bastard took off with the fair and f…" Hermes grinned at her blush, "ecund Aphrodite. Can't say as I blame him. Dad had another episode." He jerked his head at a new ugly spot on the floor.
So, of course, she had to miracle that away. Not easy. But Sky-Father Zeus' palace needed to be perfect on festival days. Mother would get very upset if the floor wasn't perfect.
It might have been nice if Mother had helped with the miracles and making sure that everyone's cups were filled. Instead she sat on her throne, clutching the feather mantle that Sky-Father Zeus had given her, which was nice. A nice gift, and a little lotus scepter that was really pretty.
When Hebe tried to look at it, Mother said, "It's not for you to look at," and hid it under her mantle. "Hephaestos made it for me when he still loved me." Mother looked wistfully around the room. "Have you seen Hephaestos?"
"Um… well, um… Hermes said he left with Aphrodite."
Mother's lip curled. Hebe tuned out her lecture about scarlet hussys who led men astray from their faithful wives.
"Excuse me, Mother. Hermes needs nectar." His cup was not actually empty, but Hebe topped it off anyway.
She went to fill Aunt Demeter's cup, but it was still full and she just nodded when Hebe dutifully invited her to weave with her nieces. Aunt Demeter's eyes were vague as she inhaled from her clay pipe. Hebe smiled softly at her half-sister Kore and offered to fill her cup, but Kore only shook her head, staring at the floor.
Sky-Father Zeus arrived in the shape of a dragon and took up his seat, which was different. Generally he took the form of an eagle or a shower of gold or whatever.
Kore looked a little upset. So Hebe reassured her. "It's fine. It's all fine. Sky-Father Zeus isn't always like this."
She had to believe that. There were times Sky-Father Zeus was kind. After all, this Diasia was the festival of Kindly Zeus so he must be kind sometimes.
Sky-Father Zeus said, "Kore, girl, you're too far away from your father. I'm just getting to know you since your mother keeps you so cruelly from me. Come," he patted the space next to him, "join me in the place of honor." He looked at Mother. "She's certainly prettier than any child spat from my wife's loins."
Hebe did not lose her grip on the flagon. It was far too pretty to drop. It had an excellent handle that fit her hands perfectly.
She cast around for something to say to Kore. "He's right. You are really pretty. Prettier than me."
Kore flinched. "I wish he didn't think I was… pretty. I don't want to be pretty." That last statement came out a hiss.
Hebe clutched her urn. "I don't know." She looked down in the nectar. "I'm not pretty like you. I'm not clever like Athena. I just…" she held out the urn, "fill cups."
"Kore!" shouted Sky-Father Zeus. "Get up here."
Kore got up and then all the feasting seats had to be shuffled around, because Mother had nowhere to sit and Mother needed a place to sit and it was all a bit crazy for a while.
Eventually, Hebe could get back to what she was good at. Serving the gods and a few of the nymphs the gods had brought as dates. Even… and this was completely outside the realm of Hebe's experience, Uncle Grisly God Lord of the Unseen had brought a date to Sky-Father Zeus's festival. He didn't pull back his shadows to show her his cup, so she went around to serve his guest.
Lady Minthe was really really pretty. She was wearing ever so many gold necklaces and diamonds and rubies and other gems that Hebe wasn't really sure what they were. Hebe filled her cup, and complemented how sparkly Lady Minthe was. "Oh, these?" Minthe spread out a hand completely covered in rings that were themselves completely covered in gems. "My Lord Haides has been very kind to me. Raised me to such heights of privilege and power." Lady Minthe leaned over. "I believe that he is considering proposing in the near future."
Hebe gasped because this was a wedding that she did not want to plan or make very nice nectar for or even really be anywhere near such a wedding. Although, as she thought about it, Uncle Grisly God Lord of the Unseen would probably want to hold the wedding in his kingdom, which if Hebe was invited, which Mother would probably volunteer her to take care of the feast, so she sort of would be, then Hebe would get to leave Olympos. See somewhere else. A grim dark place full of dead people and Titans with hundreds of arms, or one eye, or there was that one lady Titan with all the teeth, who the one time she'd visited Olympos Hebe had not been able to bring herself to fill her cup and Eris had made fun of Hebe, but then the lady Titan had actually been pretty nice about it so maybe the wedding could be nice.
Lady Minthe cleared her throat. "I believe congratulations are in order. When I wed my Lord Haides I shall be a queen. The equal of Queen Hera and Queen Amphitrite."
"Congratulations," said Hebe, who knew what she was supposed to do. Congratulate people when they asked to be congratulated.
Filled cups. Served whatever sacrificed festival food Hestia pulled out of the fire.
Hebe might have done too good a job on the nectar, because the party became very loud. Apollon got tipsy and almost fell into the fire and sang a really weird song about dragons and mad matrons and stuff.
For the first time ever, Hebe heard Athena say, "Fuck!"
"What? What is it?" asked Hebe holding her flagon in one hand and eight platters balanced on her other arm, which she kept wishing someone would complement, but no one ever did.
"Nothing," said Athena quickly. "Nothing at all. I'm sure that Apollon was not actually prophesying an heir for Father. I'm sure… excuse me." She bustled off to talk to Eris, who was causing trouble. As usual.
Hebe went about her duties.
Then Sky-Father Zeus was yelling at Mother, "None of that ever happened. None of it. Demeter was the one who pursued me. I was and am a married man."
Mother turned a cuckoo feather in her fingers. She hardly seemed to realized what she was doing. Hebe very much wanted to go to the far end of the room. She very much wanted to do that, but Sky-Father Zeus needed his cup refilled often in this mood. Very often.
She refilled it. He drank and smiled at Mother.
Mother asked slowly, "Where is Hephaestos? He should be here."
Hebe wanted a miracle. She wanted to disappear. She wanted Hephaestos to be there and for this to be a beautiful wedding.
"You should never have had Hephaestos," shouted Sky-Father Zeus.
Then Hebe felt bad about wishing Hephaestos had been there. She looked nervously at the dent in the side of Sky-Father Zeus's throne. A dent from her brother's hammer. She very much wanted to visit somewhere not Olympos.
Mother said, "But husband, I'm the goddess of motherhood." She looked confused. "I had to." Hebe wanted to go to her mother. She wanted to go very far away.
"You're not very good at it though," said Sky-Father Zeus. "Look how it went when you had Hephaestos without me."
"But you are his father," Mother said looking wildly around the room. "I didn't try to have him without you. I didn't try to have him." She opened her mouth to say more and closed it again with a snap.
"No," said Sky-Father Zeus, standing up. He really was very tall. Took up the most room. Had the loudest voice. "No, what happened was when out of jealous rage, envy, and spite, you had Hephaestos without me, he was born lame. Broken. Although, I suppose that's better than the dim wits of our other son." He curled his lips at Ares, who looked quickly away.
Sky-Father Zeus shouted, "I should never have put aside Metis at your conniving! I've had to live with your jealousy and spite ever since!"
"But, but…" Mother sputtered.
One of the Erotes, Hebe felt bad she couldn't tell them apart, said, "Father, Mighty Zeus, you are the great king of heaven. Everyone bows before your glory." The Erotes fluttered around bowing in midair. "Everyone loves you and I should know."
Sky-Father Zeus relaxed.
Hebe relaxed.
Too soon. Mother said, "You're just trying to distract me. You want to slip away to some whore's bed."
Sky-Father Zeus smiled, still standing, "That's insane. You're too jealous. Crazy."
Tears rolled down Mother's cheeks. "Only because you give me reason to be. What am I not giving you? What am I not doing? Tell me and I'll do it." Hebe could see the cracks. Mother was the goddess of fidelity. Everytime Sky-Father Zeus strayed, a part of Mother's truth unravelled.
Hebe ached. She did what she always did. She smiled. She filled cups.
Sky-Father Zeus kissed Mother's hands. "Look at you, so beautiful. Why do you doubt yourself?" And Hebe melted. He kissed Mother's cheek as if he'd never struck it. As he'd never shouted at her. This was the father figure that Hebe loved. The one she wanted to be there always. She wondered what she could do to make him stay this way.
Mother shook her head. Pulling away from Sky-Father Zeus. "Don't avoid the subject, Zeus! Who is your latest slut?" Tears were streaming down mother's face. She was holding her scepter so tight that Hebe might have thought she'd break it if it hadn't been made by Hephaestos so it would probably be fine. "Who are you going to put on your throne if not our son?"
"There is no other woman but in your imagination you deranged cow." Mother wanted to believe that. Hebe wanted to believe that. Sky-Father Zeus said, "It's not my fault that women throw themselves at me. I'm the handsomest of all the gods."
"So there is a slut! You admit it! Where is she?"
Thankfully, Athena stepped in and things calmed down. Hebe filled cups. Fewer now that Uncle Poseiden and his wife had left without saying goodbye and, of course, Artemis had taken Apollon away to sleep off the very nice nectar, and Hermes had left holding some sort of plant or something, and really quite a few of the lessor Olympian gods had gone.
Still, there were cups. Hebe filled them.
But each time she crossed a spot where she'd miracled away a scorch mark - and since Hebe had miracled all of them she knew where they were - she really wanted to go visit somewhere other than Olympos.
She looked around for Lady Minthe, but she wasn't there. Still, Uncle Grisly God Lord of the Unseen was leaving with the urn full of sacrificial blood that meant the feast was over, so she took a chance and followed him.
Of course, she was too embarrassed to say anything. Just stood there like an idiot, because she wasn't very smart, not like Athena, while Uncle Grisly God Lord of the Unseen harnessed his very large black horses to his golden chariot. But when she hiccuped nervously, Uncle Grisly God Lord of the Unseen said, "Child, it has been a very long night and I have far to go."
Hebe squeaked, but had no idea how to respond to that other than to say, "Sorry."
Uncle Grisly God Lord of the Unseen sighed. "Little Hebe, what do you want and what will you give for it?"
"Um… well," Hebe looked around really wishing Lady Minthe was there. "So, Lady Minthe mentioned that you might… maybe getting married."
"Unlikely even before the events of this evening."
"But she's so pretty," protested Hebe.
Uncle Grisly God Lord of the Unseen stared at her and he really was very good at staring. But Hebe was very good at shutting up. He sighed. "My Lady of Sorrows turned her into an herb after Demeter turned her to dust upon her…" he sighed, "No matter. There would not have been a wedding. Minthe's expectations about our arrangement aside."
"Oh," Hebe felt somewhat crumpled. Like the side of Sky-Father Zeus's throne. "That's too bad, because I was going to offer, well, I was thinking Mother might offer my help, so I figured that I might offer in advance, to um… take care of filling everyone's cups and plates and stuff." She held her flagon to her chest. "At the wedding."
"Ah," said Uncle Grisly God Lord of the Unseen. He placed the giant urn of sacrificial blood in his chariot and strapped it down, which was probably a good idea, because otherwise there might be blood everywhere if the chariot went over a bump, and wouldn't that be a mess.
She asked very quietly, "Do people shout a lot in your kingdom?" Hebe held her flagon and did not look over her shoulder. Sky-Father Zeus wasn't shouting just then for more nectar. So it was fine.
"No," said Uncle Grisly God Lord of the Unseen. "Shades are fragile until they take proper root in my realm." He looked out the open door of the stable.
Apollon stumbled past them. Mumbling something and looked really ill while mortals scurried around hitching up his chariot.
"That must be nice," said Hebe after Apollon had left for his daily ride.
"There is a wailing river. The Kokytus. It echoes the screams of those Titans, who died in the great war by my hand. Long ago my father and uncles shouted to be freed from their prison, but they grow quiet. Perhaps in the hopes I will forget them and they can free themselves." He looked at her. "I will never forget."
"That's good." Hebe had spent a long time fixing the fresco of the final battle of the war of the Titans. There was no room for another tile.
"Also, there are those I punish for their deeds in life. They sometimes scream, but mostly they sigh."
"Oh." Hebe thought about that. "My half-brother Apollon," she waved at where his chariot had been, "he's got a chair on his balcony that he covered with the skin of a satyr who challenged him to a music battle." She lowered her voice. "I think the satyr is still alive. And my sister Athena, she turned a woman into a spider." She told the top of her flagon. "I don't think our family is very nice."
"No. We are not." Uncle Grisly God Lord of the Unseen got in his chariot. He said, "Little Hebe, what do you want and what will give for it?" It was the second time he'd said that. Not like Sky-Father Zeus repeated things, but like he wanted to know.
All Hebe had was her flagon, and she wasn't giving that up. But when she said that, her uncle said, "I do not need a flagon however well crafted. However, I do not have a cup bearer. If you wish to accompany me, I will accept your service in return."
This was how Hebe went to be the cupbearer in the palace of Dis. More of an administration building with lots of people working on things. The underworld was a lot more quiet than Olympos. There really was no shouting. Well, when Kore showed up there was some shouting. Also a sweet little baby, Zagreues, who died during the jail break, which was scary, but the Persephone made sure he became another baby, Dionysus, and then wine had a god, so it was fine.
But mostly there was no shouting, and Sky-Father Zeus didn't send Hermes to make Hebe leave like he did Kore, who was going by the name Persephone now that she was married to Uncle Grisly God Lord of the Unseen, so it was fine, and Hebe got to feed everyone at a wedding after all.
Also, almost every day something nice happened.
Empousa, that was the name of the many toothed lady Titan, told Hebe that her ability to balance multiple plates on one arm while serving nectar was very impressive.
Hekate, a Titan who always had two torches, said, "You made a good choice to get out of there." Also, she complimented Hebe's nectar. Also, also she called Sky-Father Zeus a very bad word.
Hebe learned that her uncle was actually called Kindly Zeus, which must have been very confusing when he and Sky-Father Zeus were younger and she could see why her uncle didn't go by that name when on Olympos, because Sky-Father Zeus certainly wasn't going to change his name. But it was nice to know she'd ended up someplace with a Kindly Zeus after all.
Then there was when she met the hero Hercules while he was there to rescue his friend Theseus, and the other time after her mother made him go crazy, but not really, which led to a lot of emotional labors ending when he had steal Uncle Kindly Zeus' dog. But that was a lot later and another story and involved kissing and a wedding. Hebe didn't serve anyone at that wedding, because it was her wedding to Hercules when he became a god and stuff, and it was very nice. Persephone got Uncle Kindly Zeus to give her away, and her half-brother Dionysus made the wine. Hercules filled Hebe's cup until it ran over, and they laughed about it, plus there was kissing, but that was another story.
How mortals came to gain a goddess of wait staff with a sacred booth came later.