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Since as far back as he could remember, Cloud had been mesmerized by Tifa’s eyes.
As children, he’d marveled at the warmth that they held whenever he would catch her laughing, usually while looking on from away. He’d loved the tenacity they held when she argued to get her way, or how they would crinkle at the corners when she pouted. After her mother’s death, most of the light had disappeared from her eyes, and he’d wanted nothing more than to bring back that spark. His inability to help her had left him feeling so powerless.
For years, the way her eyes had shone when they’d made their promise under the stars had been burned into his memory, pushing him forward when he felt like giving up. And any time he failed, he could vividly imagine her eyes looking back at him, her disappointment clear.
During his cowardly return to Nibelheim, he’d almost faltered in his resolve to remain hidden when it had been just the two of them outside the reactor. The way she glowered and stared him down reminded him too much of old times, of how pouty she would get when she thought he was ignoring her or refused her invitations to play with her and the other kids.
One week later, when he’d held her lifeless body in his arms, her eyes closed to the world for what he’d thought was forever, it had destroyed him. As did every close call that came after that. Time and time again, it had been Tifa’s smile and her kind eyes that had helped him escape the chaos of his own mind as he worked through the trauma and guilt caused by Zack and Aerith’s deaths.
He never thought he’d meet a set of eyes he loved as much as he did Tifa’s. But like with many things in life, he was eventually proven wrong.
It had been an extensive day of deliveries. Cloud usually tried to plan out his schedule so he’d be able to spend at least some time with the kids before they headed to bed, but sometimes it just couldn’t be helped. Since it was the middle of the week, the bar had already closed for the day and the total quiet suggested that even Tifa had retired for the night.
After making his way quietly up the stairs, he first checked on Marlene and Denzel’s room. Both kids were fast asleep, although Denzel appeared to have passed out while reading. As carefully as possible, he removed the book from Denzel’s arms and turned off his night light before tucking him in. He stirred slightly, but otherwise remained undisturbed.
Next door was the room that previously served as his office. Originally, after Cloud had returned home for good, they’d been planning to convert the space into a third bedroom so the older kids no longer had to share. That was before life had thrown a wrench into their plans.
Peeking in, Cloud chuckled as he caught sight of furious kicking coming from the crib at the back of the room. At six months old, his kid was already a constant bundle of energy. He didn’t want to think of the chaos that would be unleashed once he learned to crawl. The infant gurgled as he approached, the speed of his kicks speeding up excitedly as a familiar face appeared over the edge of the crib. “Hey, little guy. Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”
He began to babble, drool dribbling down his chin as he chewed on one hand. A warning sign that he was just minutes away from crying out for his regular nighttime feeding. “You hungry? Come on. Before you wake up your mom.”
Cloud picked his son out of the crib, the little boy holding on tightly to his shirt as they made their way down the stairs to the kitchen. The whole while, he continued to coo, his eyes lighting up when he caught sight of his bottle being removed from the fridge. He squirmed in Cloud’s arms, his face scrunching up as he waited impatiently for his food to be warmed up.
“Alright, alright, it’s coming,” he said, the boy’s hungry whimpers tapering off as he finally took hold of the bottle. “There you go, buddy.”
As Cloud balanced his son in his arms, the sound of fussing was soon replaced by gentle suckling. The infant stared up at him intently, his eyes wide. “You’re a lucky guy, you know that? You’ve got your mom’s eyes. And she’s got really nice eyes. The prettiest I’ve ever seen.”
When their kid had been born, with a head of blonde hair and blue eyes, all their friends had joked that he’d turn out to be a miniature version of Cloud. So he’d been extremely relieved when weeks earlier, his eyes had changed from their dark blue hue into the familiar red of Tifa’s gaze. He enjoyed being able to look at his son and see Tifa staring back at him. It helped soothe some of the anxiety that permeated as he tried to navigate his newfound parenthood.
Cloud had never considered having kids. Not because he had a problem with them, but because he’d doubted that he could be a proper provider or a good dad. He didn’t exactly have the most inspiring role models growing up–the only example he had in his life of a loving father was Barret. And as much as he knew the older man loved Marlene, he also regretted the fact that he couldn’t physically be there for her most of the time. If it wasn’t for Tifa, the little girl wouldn’t have had much if any stability in her home life.
Tifa. While Cloud still doubted his ability to parent, there had never been a doubt in his mind that Tifa would make an excellent mother. If not because of her infinite patience and kindness, but because she was already playing the role of mom in Marlene and Denzel’s lives. Nurturing others, both child and adult, just seemed to come naturally to her. The way she’d always looked after him since their reunion in Midgar was proof of that.
With all of this in the back of his mind, he’d gone through a whole mix of emotions when Tifa found out she was pregnant. They’d both had. It has been an agonizing few days as they’d considered their options, discussing the complications that a new life would bring with it. They both had businesses that kept them busy, and in Cloud’s case, away from home for most of the day. Not to mention that they already had two kids under their care.
While Denzel and Marlene were old enough that they didn’t require constant supervision, Tifa had worried that the attention a baby required might cause them to feel neglected. But both kids had bonded easily with the newest arrival, never needing to be asked twice to look after him when Tifa had her hands full with the bar. Marlene especially had embraced her new role as a big sister with gusto, having on more than one occasion paraded him through the neighborhood to show him off to the other kids.
No, the biggest problem had been Cloud himself. After they’d made their decision to have the baby, he’d been plagued with near-constant worry as he fretted over Tifa’s well-being and feared the repercussions that might result from Hojo’s experiments and his geostigma. All the while, he’d tried to hide the nervous wreck he’d turned into from Tifa. An attempt that hadn’t been very successful, as she’d grown very adept at reading his moods. They’d shared plenty of heartfelt conversations leading up to the birth, during which she’d helped assuage a lot of his fears. She’d even opened up to him about her own anxieties.
Not that he didn’t still have his fair share of worries. Being responsible for something so small, so fragile still terrified him. Those concerns, however, were slowly getting overshadowed by the joy and solace of moments just like these. He loved getting to bond with his son one-on-one, his ruby red eyes staring up curiously at him and slowly becoming heavy with sleep as he finished eating.
The infant was fast asleep against Cloud’s shoulder when the sound of footsteps could be heard making their way down the stairs.
“Hey,” Tifa whispered as she approached, clearly having just woken up. She smiled as she took in the sleeping form resting against him, reaching out a hand to push back some of the baby’s wispy hair from his forehead. “I went to check on him, figured I’d find you both down here. You’re home late.”
“Had a last-minute request to head out to Junon. Customer was willing to pay four times the usual price to get it there tonight. It wouldn’t have made sense not to take it,” he explained. “Sorry I missed the kids.”
She shook her head. “It’s okay. As long as you call to let us know, Cloud, we understand.”
Although he knew she didn’t mean it as a slight, he still felt guilty hearing those words. It reminded him of a time when he’d not only failed to let her know he wasn’t coming home, but avoided her calls for months. A time when he’d avoided his family like a coward. It had been over two years since he’d returned home after hiding out at Aerith’s church, but the fear that he would once again fail her in such a significant way still gnawed at him.
Warmth flooded his side as Tifa leaned against his shoulder, her eyes still focused on the sleeping figure resting against his chest. “He looks like a little angel now, but he was quite a handful today.”
“Yeah?”
“I think he’s got another tooth coming in,” she explained, stroking the boy’s cheek with the back of her hand. “He was fussy all day. It was exhausting. Although, he has developed this adorable little pout that reminds me of someone I know when they don’t get their way.”
Cloud fought the instinct to scowl at that comment, knowing it would just serve to further prove her point. “And how about the other two?”
“They had a pretty normal day. It seems like Denzel might have a crush at school. Marlene won’t stop teasing him about it. It’s cute.”
He smiled at that. Even though it had been years since the geostigma cure, it was still encouraging hearing about the normalcy of the kids’ day-to-day lives. They’d both endured enough upheaval to last a lifetime. They deserved the banality of an ordinary childhood.
“I tried to ask him about it, but he was too shy to tell me. I’d suggest you talk to him about it, but you don’t exactly have the best track record with childhood crushes,” she teased.
“I don’t know, current circumstances would suggest otherwise,” he countered, vaguely gesturing at the child in his arms.
“After how many years of hiding your feelings?” she said, poking at his shoulder. “And completely missing all of my signals? Don’t even get me started on the water tower...”
It hadn’t been that long ago when Tifa had explained to him that the night they’d made their promise under the stars she’d arrived at the water tower fully expecting some sort of date. At the time, he’d been so nervous it hadn’t dawned on him how dressed up she was, or that it was late enough that she would have needed to sneak out past her curfew. Teenage Cloud had not been adept at recognizing that Tifa had been flirting with him. Something that persisted into adulthood until she’d admitted her feelings to him outright under the Highwind.
“Hey, I’ve learned a lot since then,” he pouted.
“You have, I’ll give you that,” she conceded with a slight chuckle. “By the way, Yuffie called today. She wants to come to town next week and stay with us. Says she has something to take care of. She won’t admit it, but I think she just wants an excuse to spend some more time with this little guy.”
Yuffie had visited not long after the baby had been born and had done a terrible job of hiding how enamored she was with their newest addition. Although the same could be said of most of their friends. “Think she’ll try to gift him some materia again?”
Tifa snorted at that. “Possibly. With Yuffie, I consider that the highest sign of affection.”
“True.” She shifted against his side, her eyes fluttering slightly with fatigue. He nudged her slightly. “Come on, Teef, let’s get you both to bed.”
“In a minute,” she murmured, curling further into him. “I want to enjoy this moment... for just a little longer.”
At that, she turned to look up at him. There was the smallest of smiles on her tired face, one that still reached her eyes. Those eyes he’d loved for as long as he could remember. The most beautiful pair of eyes he’d ever seen.
Well, he thought to himself as he looked down at the tiny face huddled against his chest, mouth hanging open in a deep sleep. One of the two.