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ONE
Henry’s been showing him around the empty house, explaining how he’s pictured each room. Alex is listening, but he’s also trying desperately to keep his expectations under control.
“Alex, are you all right?”
It’s funny, because Alex can talk to Henry about anything, except this. The question he can’t get out of his head, because he can’t say it out loud. Because he doesn’t want to know the answer. And maybe Henry doesn’t even know the answer so why ask? He’ll just wait for Henry to tell him, wait however long it takes for the other shoe to drop. Wait for the fucking Hallmark movie he’s living to inevitably end.
“Huh? Yeah...yeah.” He tries to sound convincing, because it's just not realistic, is it? This sickeningly sweet domestic fantasy he has. To expect to be with Henry every day and touch him and see his face and talk to him without relying on technology. It might be that way for a while but then what? Henry probably thinks nothing of jetting in and out of the country, knowing Alex will be here waiting.
“Really?” Henry steps in front of him, still wearing that goddamn Burberry cashmere overcoat that Alex wants to burrow into and stay forever.
“Yeah, really.”
“Because I asked you if you’re sure you like the house and you never answered me,” Henry is speaking slowly.
“I love it. It’s perfect.” Don’t ask, don’t ask, don’t ask, Alex warns himself.
He hears Henry take a deep, hesitant breath. “Alex, if this is too much too soon you’re certainly not obligated to--”
“No! No, it’s not that!” Alex runs a hand up Henry’s chest and looks into his eyes. “God, I want to live with you so much. That’s not…” Henry deserves to know that much is true. He never wants to be part of anything that hurts this man. Never again.
He holds Henry’s gaze. “This house is amazing and beautiful,” his breath catches with the absolute truth of it, “and you are amazing and beautiful.” He grabs handfuls of Henry’s sweater, as though Henry was trying to run away somewhere.
Henry gently holds Alex’s wrists with a look of confused exasperation. “Then what is it?”
Alex opens his mouth but can’t come up with a way to ask that won’t hurt when he hears the answer. A way that won't make him feel foolish when Henry tells him they just can't--
“Baby,” Henry murmurs, and wraps his arms around Alex’s waist.
Alex looks up at him and sees the sly smile on Henry’s face. “It works like truth serum on me, I thought maybe it would work on you too.”
Alex can’t deny this man anything, even if it kills him. He takes a deep, shaky breath and immediately cringes at how whiny his voice sounds. “Are they really going to let you stay here? I mean, how long can...how long before they make you move back? Because, because I just need to plan for when we need to...when I have to…” He grabs Henry’s sweater tighter. “And it’s okay if it’s a month or six months or a year because God knows I will take whatever I can get when it comes to you…” He bites his lip, making a concerted effort not to cry. “But I just need to know so I can be ready for it when you have to leave.”
Henry leans down to kiss him, absorbing all of Alex’s manic energy and anxiety. “Love, I was going to tell you when we had all the little details worked out. But I’ve talked to mum, and she said as long as I come back now and then for the big events and videoconference into important meetings, the rest is up to me. I feel like I have a real purpose here, that I never had in London. And let’s be honest, I’m a tertiary ceremonial figurehead at best. It’s hardly as though the British government will cease to function if I live in New York with my boyfriend.”
Alex stares up at him through watery eyes. “So I don’t have to…you can stay?”
Henry nods. “I can stay.” He shifts his feet. “And you’re sure you want... this?” Unwilling to let Alex go, he gestures with his chin toward the empty house, but Alex knows that’s not all he’s referring to.
Alex laughs, so relieved he can’t stop the tears now, and swoops up for another kiss. “Oh, baby. You bet I do.” He wipes his face and takes another look around the empty house, finally able to picture them living there, to imagine their future here. He starts to bury his face in Henry's chest but jerks his head up at the last second. “Wait, did you just use the phrase ‘tertiary ceremonial figurehead’?’”
Henry’s grin is wicked and sweet, the one that makes Alex melt because it’s still, always, so unexpected. “Yes, I’m going to have that printed on my official business cards, right under my title.”
TWO
Alex is vacuuming the spare bedroom when he hears the front door alarm chirp. He flips the power off when his husband appears in the doorway to the room.
“I’m glad we decided not to tear out the carpet in here. I mean, carpet is better right? In case...but then if she has allergies maybe carpet isn’t--”
Henry steps into the room and kisses Alex. “Hello to you too.”
“Sorry, babe. How was work?”
“It was good. And I think carpet is fine but if she has allergies or if we have to make changes, we will.”
“You’re awfully calm about this.”
Henry shoves his hands in his pockets and shrugs. “No, I’m bloody terrified. But I’ve been terrified before and things worked out fine. You and I usually manage. When is the furniture coming?”
“Any minute,” Alex tells him as he winds up the vacuum cord. He sits down on the floor, cross-legged, in the middle of the otherwise empty room and stares up at Henry. “We’re gonna have a baby.”
Henry sits down in front of Alex, mirroring his position, and nods. “We are.”
Alex is giving Henry that look he usually reserves for explaining complex legal concepts. “No, listen, we are going to be responsible for raising another human being.”
Henry nods. “I believe that’s the agreement we have with our surrogate, yes. Only with a lot more flowery, legal wording.”
Alex rests his head in his hands. “I’ve read every baby book I could get my hands on and been on all the parenting sites and I still feel like I’m walking into a final exam that I’m going to fail.”
Henry reaches out to take his hands and smiles at him. “We aren’t going to fail. We’re going to make mistakes, but we’ll be fine. Your parents are coming to help and my mum and Bea are coming in a few weeks. It isn’t going to be easy but we’ve done difficult things before, love.” They also both have friends and colleagues with young kids who have offered advice, most of it helpful and not at all scary or nightmare-inducing. Alex still refuses to believe he’s supposed to already have his kid’s name on preschool waiting lists.
Alex turns and scoots over so he’s leaning against Henry’s shoulder. “No, seriously, how are you not freaking out?”
“Parenting rule number one: only one of us can freak out at a time.”
“That’s a good rule. Maybe you should write a book.” Alex’s phone lights up with a text from the agents outside. He turns to grin at Henry. “The crib is here.”
THREE
“What do you think?” Alex asks.
Henry steps across the room and looks out a window. “I like it.”
“This could be Jamie’s room.”
Henry nods. In the silence, they can hear the realtors chatting with their security people downstairs.
“It’s a good location,” Henry adds, “closer to their school,” and it’s Alex’s turn to nod.
Henry is peering into the closet. “We might have to make the closets bigger. Especially Ellie’s. How can one child have so many clothes?”
“She has two aunts who love to buy her things. Blame them.” Alex rubs his fingers over the ring under his t-shirt. It’s a habit he developed soon after Henry gave it to him. He still does it when he’s making decisions, like there’s a genie trapped inside who will come out and tell him if he’s doing the right thing.
“So you want to make an offer?” Alex asks.
Henry nods again. “I think so.”
“I mean, we need more space, just for the four of us,” Alex says, “and if we’re going to adopt at some point...”
Henry hears something reluctant in his voice and walks over to put a hand on Alex’s shoulder. “Alex, we can keep looking. We aren’t in any particular hurry.”
“No! No, I think this is the right place. It has everything we want. It’s just…” he shrugs. “That was our first home together and I’m going to miss it.”
Henry’s arms wrap tenderly around his waist. “So will I. But this will be the first home we choose together, so that’s something.”
Alex’s face lights up. “That's right! You picked out that house when you were trying to woo me.”
Henry’s laugh echoes off the walls. “Oh, I think you were already sufficiently wooed by the time we moved in together.”
“Hey! Are you taking me for granted?” Alex bats his eyes up at his husband.
“Never. Besides,” Henry tilts Alex’s chin up and holds it there, “Home is wherever we’re together, love.”
They walk back downstairs and Alex wanders around the kitchen again while the seller’s agent falls all over herself fawning over his husband. “Please, call me Henry,” he asks her for the third time since they arrived. Henry tells her they’ll be in touch, triggering another wave of “Absolutely, Prince...Your Highness...Henry.” Alex affectionately rolls his eyes where no one can see him.
They walk out to the car, hand in hand, and Alex bumps his husband’s shoulder with his own. “I can’t take you anywhere, Wales.”