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planning things is not our forte

Summary:

Iwaizumi tries to plan a wonderful birthday for Oikawa. A wonderful birthday happens for Oikawa. Unfortunately, those two sentences are not connected in any way.

Set before all the other fics in this verse, maybe 3 or 4 years before? Kind of a prequel, set right after Iwaizumi and Oikawa get married.

Notes:

This here is my happy funny fic for Oikawa's birthday, rather than my weird emotional one. I personally think the writing is weird and it's quick, cute, and highkey rushed. I just wanted a drabble to post for his birthday which at the same time demonstrates the professors' inability to plan anything at all without Akaashi. So yeah, this is a prequel, which is why none of the younger professors are in this story (cos they're not professors yet). It's set right after Iwaizumi and Oikawa get married.

also the timelines of this universe are starting to fuck with me a lil. I might need to make an explainer to post along with the third chapter of the kyouhaba fic WHICH I PROMISE IS COMING YOU GUYS IM SO SORRY.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“Okay, but I don’t understand why this one is any different from the other ones.”

Iwaizumi ran a hand through his hair exasperatedly. “We’re married .”

“But you’ve been together forever ,” Kuroo argued.

“Yes, but we’re married .”

“Why does that change anything?” Kuroo asked again.

“Kuroo, it changes quite a bit. Some things are the same, the essence of your relationship is the same, but a lot of things change. You’re in it in a forever way now. Your commitment is reaffirmed-”

“-Okay Suga-san, that’s a great explanation, but I don’t have time for us to explain to perpetual bachelor Kuroo how marriage works,” Iwaizumi cut in.

“Excuse me for waiting for my other half, Iwaizumi. We don’t all meet them in the womb.”

“Yeah, Iwaizumi. Shut up,” Makki added from across the room, clearly not paying attention but jumping on the bandwagon to insult Iwaizumi. 

“I have to make it better .”

“Because you love our dear Oikawa very very much?” Mattsun asked sarcastically.

“That too,” Iwaizumi responded.

“Or could it be because Oikawa knocked your birthday out of the park last month?” Makki insinuated. 

Iwaizumi’s silence was response enough, and soon Makki, Mattsun and Kuroo were laughing, while Daichi tried to hide a smile and Suga admonished him with reproach.

“That’s such a bad reason to want to make Oikawa happy on his birthday, Iwaizumi-san!”

“I mean, I love him too! We are married.” 

“Dude, you have no chance. Oikawa, he’s a lot of things, but when it comes to accomplishing things he sets his mind to…” Kuroo trailed off, as every professor in the room nodded in unison. Oikawa could be a monster . (In the best way possible, of course.)

A knock on the door signalled Bokuto, Asahi, and Yaku, who were all carrying takeout containers. 

“For the record, I’m never getting in a car with Bokuto in the driver’s seat ever again ,” Yaku pronounced, clutching a brown paper bag. Asahi’s forehead was covered in a cold sweat, but Bokuto looked very happy. 

“Bro! I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.” This, of course, was directed towards Kuroo.

“Bro! I feel the same way.” 

“You two saw each other in the morning,” Daichi groaned, already tired. 

“Everyone, focus! I need to do something nice for Oikawa’s birthday.”

“Space-themed, of course,” Kuroo volunteered. 

“Maybe heavily involving the X-files, or Alien vs. Predator 6,” Mattsun added.

“You could cook him dinner,” Suga offered. 

“Or take him out to a nice place,” Daichi amended.

“It’s nice outside, is he a waterpark type?” Bokuto asked.

“Offer to paint a portrait of him?” Asahi suggested weakly. 

“Take him shopping,” Makki threw out. 

“Throw a party at your fancy new apartment that only Daichi has been to because you guys are bromancing or whatever,” Suga suggested aggressively. 

“I will take the first part of that suggestion,” Iwaizumi commented. 

“So, I’ll throw a space-themed X-files marathon/party at our house where I cook food and invite everyone and you all bring space-themed gifts.”

“Okay, just because I work in the astronomy department doesn’t mean I want space-themed gifts for my birthday.”

Iwaizumi looked up automatically at the sound of his voice. “Damnit, no one thought to check the door for Tooru?” He complained. 

“I saw him,” Makki commented unhelpfully. “He seemed amused, so I figured that could be my birthday present to him.”

“False. You still have to get me a present,” Oikawa said. 

“You know, Iwa-chan. We could do other things for my birthday.” Oikawa’s arms wrapped around Iwaizumi’s torso, and he dropped a quick kiss to his hair before leaning in to whisper into his ear. Iwaizumi choked on a piece of tofu, but Oikawa kept whispering softly, his lips brushing the shell of Iwaizumi’s ear. Iwaizumi grew redder and redder, until Kuroo wolf-whistled to get his attention. 

“This is getting very NSFW and we’re literally at work, so keep it in your pants, man.” 

“So, Iwa-chan, what do you think? Still want to host a party tomorrow?”

“None of you are invited to our house tomorrow,” Iwaizumi choked out, still red. 

“Mmm, that’s what I thought,” Oikawa said. Suga burst out laughing, and so did Yaku. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They ended up throwing a party the next day anyways, and Tooru professed to absolutely love having all of their friends over. Just a year or two into teaching at their university, Iwaizumi knew how much Oikawa loved that their coworkers were also some of their best friends. And some of their best friends (Makki and Mattsun) were also their coworkers. 

They played space-themed games, watched X-files, cut Oikawa’s cake (then smeared frosting all over his face) and got piss-drunk. 

(And if later on that night, Iwaizumi and Oikawa did some more one-on-one activities? Well, no one had to know.)

Notes:

You know what else is coming? Another tsukkiyama fic, (cos I'm tsukkiyama trash) which is seven chapters long. It's all planned out, and I'm on the fourth chapter rn. idk when I'm posting, mostly bc I'm a lazy poster and the worst sort of person.

ALSO, a matsuhana in this verse? It's coming. I have a general premise, I just don't know where I'm going with it. I could just start writing and see what happens. eh. it'll happen.

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