Chapter Text
Ozai had the audacity to laugh. Zuko had just called his father to finally come out to him, rip off that plaster, and he just… laughed. The laughter rang sharply in Zuko’s head, despite Ozai’s voice being slightly muffled by the phone.
“Oh, Zuko, you can’t be gay. It’s just another one of your phases.”
Zuko could feel his cheeks getting warmer with anger, but he took a deep breath to keep himself calm. Getting angry and lashing out was exactly what Ozai would want, and he didn’t want to give him that satisfaction.
“It’s not just a phase, father. I like guys.”
"You'll get over it soon enough, you'll see. Maybe you should try to find a girlfriend, that'll knock some sense into you."
Zuko couldn’t say that he was surprised by Ozai’s reaction to him coming out. He had expected him to not approve, he knew how he felt about gay people and the LGBT community overall, but he thought it might at least make him feel a bit less scared to be around him. It didn’t.
So Zuko’s mouth opened before he could actually think about what he was going to say.
“Actually, I have a boyfriend.”
Zuko did not, in fact, have a boyfriend.
“Is that so?” Zuko detected a hint of irony in Ozai’s tone. “In that case, why don’t you bring him to my birthday celebration? I’m sure he’s… lovely.”
Fuck. Zuko knew he’d fucked up, but he had to double down.
“Okay, I’ll bring him. But you don’t get to bully him.”
“Why, I would never even think about that!” He totally would. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some actual important matters to attend to. Goodbye, son.”
“Goodbye, father.”
Zuko hung up and sighed. How was he going to find a date for Ozai’s birthday party in three days/span> ? He barely had any male friends, let alone any gay male friends, and he doubted any of them would be up for it. And what if they had to kiss? And his dad knew them, so they’d probably be able to tell it wasn’t real.
Zuko scrolled through his contacts, hoping to find someone who might be willing to help, but to no avail. He thought about posting to social media about it, but he doubted anyone would see it, and it might even reach his father, which was enough reason in itself to not use that tactic.
He opened the text conversation with one of his closest friends (and ex-girlfriend, before they both realised they were gay), Mai. He hoped one of her weird acquaintances would be up for the job. It was his only hope.
Zuko tapped the link, albeit quite reluctantly, opening up the antiquated website. The first thing he was greeted with when the page loaded was a photo of a guy with dark skin, hair shaved down the sides and the top pulled back into a ponytail, and the prettiest blue eyes. Zuko would be willing to bet those eyes were edited. There was no way someone had eyes that blue.
Family keeps pestering you about "bringing a boyfriend home?" Need to get someone who really likes you off your back? Just need someone to look pretty next to you for an event? You've come to the right place!
I’m Sokka, a 21-year-old student at Ba Sing Se University, studying Mechanical Engineering, just looking to earn some extra cash on the side.
Requirements:
- Any gender
- Don't be a creep
- 18+
- You get two kisses, use them wisely
I like to think I’m pretty easy to be around, and I’ve charmed even the most stubborn of people in the past. And, if needed, I know my way around the blade. And by that, I mean an actual sword, get your mind out of the gutter.
Zuko let out a laugh at that. Maybe, if anything, he could get a new sparring partner out of this. He’d gotten really out of practice since moving to Ba Sing Se.
If you decide I’m a good fit for what you need, my contact information is on my profile. Looking forward to hearing your struggles!
That wasn’t really that much information, and Zuko wasn’t convinced that Sokka wasn’t just some murderer preying on desperate people who needed a pretty date, but he figured it was his only chance of doing anything about this situation, so he decided to send him a message. If he ended up getting murdered, at least he wouldn’t have to deal with Ozai being a homophobic ass.
Zuko pressed send, internally cringing at the formality of the text mere seconds after it had been delivered. He should've been a bit more casual, but there was no going back now. He figured it might be a while before Sokka responded, so he put on his headphones and played some music to get his mind off of everything, even if for a few minutes.
Halfway through the second song, his phone vibrated. Sokka had actually texted him back. He didn't know why he was so surprised—after all, Sokka was doing this as a (side?) job.
Sokka sent him a link to… his uncle’s tea shop. Zuko laughed.
Zuko blushed. He didn’t know his uncle talked about him to his customers, but somehow, it wasn’t surprising at all.
The next day, Zuko woke up early as always, so he decided to put a bit of extra effort into getting ready for their date. Wait, is it even a date? What would you even call it? A meeting? No, that makes it sound way too formal.
He decided not to dwell on it and instead took his time to find some nice clothes to wear. He settled on a nice but casual red shirt and blue jeans, ripped at the knees. He briefly wondered if Sokka would like him to wear something a bit nicer, but quickly reminded himself that this wasn't an actual date, he was just going out with a stranger to get to know each other better. He pushed aside the thought telling him that that was exactly the purpose of a date and put on a bit of make-up to cover some of his blemishes. He couldn’t quite cover the scar surrounding his left eye, but he could at least make it a bit less obvious. He didn’t want to scare Sokka away like he probably did everyone else.
Zuko was out of the door by 10:30am and he took a lazy walk to The Jasmine Dragon, arriving about ten minutes early. He sat down at a table close to the entrance so Sokka wouldn’t miss him, then realised Sokka didn’t even know what he looked like. Zuko texted him to let him know he’d arrived and where he was sitting.
He put his phone down and took a deep breath to calm his nerves. He knew he had no reason to be nervous, after all this wasn’t a date, not a real one, but he couldn’t help but be anxious to meet Sokka. Zuko thought he was one of the most handsome men he’d ever laid his eyes on, and he really hoped he wouldn’t end up developing actual feelings for him. There was no way someone who looked like Sokka would see Zuko as anything more than a friend, and Zuko didn’t want to get hurt again.
The door to the tea shop opened and Zuko perked up to see who it was. It was Sokka. He gave him a shy smile and waved him over, standing up. Sokka had his hair down, unlike the picture in his ad, cascading over his ears and a bit over his face. Sokka ran over to him with a huge smile on his face and hugged him. Zuko was shocked at this, but hugged him back, patting his back a couple of times. They broke apart and sat down at the table.
“Hey, Zuko, is it?”
Sokka’s voice, somehow, sounded exactly like Zuko had imagined.
“Hi, yeah, Zuko here.” He scratched the back of his neck nervously. “And you’re Sokka?”
Sokka laughed.
“I am indeed Sokka. Let’s order something and then we discuss our game plan.”
The two boys browsed the drinks menu—as if Zuko didn’t already know it like the back of his hand—and Uncle Iroh came over to take their order.
“Nephew, what a surprise! I don’t really see you much anymore.”
“Sorry, uncle, I’ve been busy with uni. I’m happy to see you, though.”
“I’m happy to see you too. What brings you here with Sokka?”
Huh, so Sokka was there often enough that Uncle knew him by name? He wondered how they’d never run into each other before, especially since Zuko used to work for his uncle. Maybe he only started coming after Zuko had stopped working there to focus on university.
“Oh, I didn’t know you knew Sokka. We, um, just wanted a nice place to talk.”
“Sokka used to come here every day for a while, he was dating Suki, you remember Suki, right?”
He remembered Suki, alright. She was the girl Uncle had hired after Zuko had quit. She was really nice, but also looked like she could crush you if you did anything wrong. Zuko admired her and he was terrified of her. So Sokka had dated her? Were they still together?
“Oh, yeah, I remember her. Does she still work here?”
“She does. She isn’t working today, though.”
Sokka wasn’t saying anything, and Zuko couldn’t quite figure out why. He decided he’d try to subtly shoo Uncle away.
“Oh, okay. Um, can we order now?”
“Trying to get rid of me already? I’m hurt, nephew.”
And, yet again, he’d seen right through Zuko.
“N-no, it’s just—”
“Relax, Zuko, I was only joking. What would you like to drink today, boys?”
The two ordered their drinks, coincidentally both going for Iroh’s signature jasmine tea.
“I’ll be right back with your drinks. You boys have fun on your date.”
Zuko’s eyes widened for a second and he blushed.
“We’re not on a d—” he started to say, but Uncle had already turned away and was walking towards the kitchen.
“Um, sorry about that. Uncle has been trying to get me to date for a while, so I guess he just assumed…” Zuko gestured vaguely between the two of them. “You know.”
Sokka laughed.
“It’s alright, Zuko. I mean, this is basically like a date anyway, so I don’t blame him.”
Zuko blushed even harder. He was glad he’d decided to put on some make-up.
“Alright, so, you need a date for your dad’s birthday? I'm gonna guess you told your parents you had a date because they wouldn't stop telling you to get a boyfriend."
"Well… not quite."
Sokka raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms on the table, inching closer to Zuko in intrigue.
“I, uh, I called my father yesterday to come out,” Zuko continued. “He… didn’t take it too well. He said it was just a phase, that I should get a girlfriend, so I just kinda… blurted out that I already have a boyfriend. Which, obviously, seeing as you’re here, I do not.”
Sokka started laughing.
“Sorry, sorry, go on.”
"Alright, so then, very conveniently for him and not so much for me, his birthday party is this weekend and he asked me to bring my boyfriend. Which I guess is gonna be you for the day."
“I guess so. Sorry about your dad. I was also super scared to come out to my dad, but then I saw him making out with his best friend, who is now his husband, so that made it much easier.”
Zuko wondered where Sokka’s mother was in that picture, but decided not to ask.
“That’s… convenient,” he settled on saying instead.
A waitress Zuko didn’t recognise brought over their teas and left just as swiftly.
Sokka laughed. “Sure is. So, Zuko, you’re 22, right?”
Zuko nodded. “And you’re 21?”
“Yup,” Sokka said, popping the ‘p’ for the extra effect. “Are you in university?”
“Yeah, I’m doing Theatre at Ba Sing Se. I’m a second year. I did Business for two years because of my dad, but I hated every single moment, so I basically gave up any hope of inheriting his company to do something I actually liked.”
“Zuko, your dad sounds like a bit of a dick. What company does he have anyway?”
“Oh, um. Do you know Sozin Enterprises?”
Sokka all but choked on his tea when he heard that.
“You’re telling me you gave up being an heir to one of the richest companies in Ba Sing Se because you wanted to do theatre? That takes some serious guts. I admire that, Zuko.”
Zuko blushed again. “Yeah. Um. So, what about you? Mechanical Engineering, was it?”
Sokka’s face lit up and he nodded enthusiastically. “Yup! I’m a second year too, and next year I’ve got an internship from Beifong. The CEO’s daughter put in a good word for me.”
Zuko frowned.
“Beifong doesn’t have a daughter?” he said, confused.
“Oh, right, yeah. He does, but she’s blind and he didn’t want people to know he has a disabled daughter, so he just kind of… hid her from the world. She doesn’t mind, though. She wouldn’t want all that attention and pity anyway.”
Zuko nodded, not really sure what to say next. What did people usually do on these not-dates? He had no clue. He hoped Sokka would lead the conversation, which thankfully, he did.
“So, um, we should probably talk about the hiring-me-to-be-your-boyfriend thing. I have a few rules you need to follow so we're both comfortable with this arrangement. First, we need to come up with a believable story about when and how we met.
"Second, no sex whatsoever. I'm not a hook-up, I'm just here to help you pretend you have a boyfriend for a day or two. I'm not looking for sex, and if you were, it's not gonna happen.
"Third, you have to tell, in your case, your dad and whoever’s at that party, that we broke up. You get a month at most to do this. I don't want them to see me in public with someone else and think I'm cheating on you.
"Fourth, as far as PDA is concerned, we can hold hands, hug, whatever, as long as it's not sexual. As far as kisses go, you get a maximum of two kisses, use them wisely. On the rare occasion you might need more, we must discuss it beforehand. If any of this is not okay with you, just tell me and we can see what we can do."
Zuko nodded. It was a lot of information to take in, but he tried his best to remember everything.
“Okay, thanks for letting me know.”
“Okay, cool. Also, we need a safe word or action, just in case one of us goes a bit too far. This is supposed to be comfortable for both of us.”
“Hmm… How about turtleduck? I don’t think it’d really come up, but we could still insert it into a conversation pretty easily. Maybe use it as a pet name or something.” Zuko suggested.
“Sounds good. So if either of us says turtleduck, we have to stop whatever we’re doing then and maybe break away from others and talk it out a bit.”
"Awesome. So, how did we meet?"
The two spent a while discussing a fake story about how they met. Some of Sokka’s ideas were straight out of a rom-com, and Zuko wasn’t really sure if he was joking or not, but they ended up settling on a pretty realistic story where they met while Zuko was still working at The Jasmine Dragon, six months prior, and started out as friends, but they both realised they had feelings for each other, two months later, and the rest was history. They also developed a few anecdotes about dates, in case anyone asked at any point, though Sokka assured him people didn’t usually care that much.
At one point, Sokka’s phone started ringing.
“Oh, right, I’ve got a lecture in twenty minutes. I should probably go.”
Zukko nodded and waved Iroh over so he could pay.
“Are you boys already leaving?” he said as he approached them.
“Yes, Sokka has a lecture to get to. Could you fetch us the bill?”
Iroh shook his head. “Oh, no, don’t worry, boys. It’s on the house.”
“Are you sure?” Sokka interjected.
“Of course. Anything for my nephew and my favourite customer.” Iroh winked.
Zuko blushed and nodded, and Sokka nodded as well, smiling and shaking Uncle’s hand. “Thank you so much.”
“You’re very welcome,” Iroh said and left to take care of another table.
The two boys exited the tea shop.
“I had a good time, Zuko. Text me the details of the party, yeah?”
Zuko nodded. The first sentence looped around in his head. I had a good time, Zuko. I had a good time, Zuko. Wasn’t that something people usually said after an actual date? Certainly not after a fake date. Or maybe not? Zuko really didn’t know how any of this worked. Zuko still blushed like crazy as they said their goodbyes, heading in opposite directions.
Zuko couldn’t help but wonder if he could actually do this without falling for Sokka, like he had planned.