Work Text:
Rolling his neck back and forth Deeks did his best to try to loosen himself up on the trip home. He would never figure out how it was so exhausting to spend the day doing paperwork. It wasn't as if he really did anything other than read a some files and sign them. It wasn't difficult. Yet all he wanted to do was grab something quick to eat and fall into bed. Hopefully in that order.
As the taxi pulled up to his house though he found himself seriously questioning that. The night before they had eaten leftovers for dinner and practically cleaned the fridge out. If there had been anything left the kids and Callen would have finished it off for dinner.
It wasn't as if he was the only one in the family that could cook, but he was the only one that could do it without a huge hassle. When they had time to prep and think about what they were going to do than it was fine.
On the other hand though, he had lost more than a few pots and pans because one of them forgot what they were doing mid-cook and burnt whatever was being made beyond recognition. It was just shy of being completely pathetic.
That wasn't to say that they couldn't cook. Both Wesley and Callen only had a dish or two that they could make on their own, but they made those dishes wonderfully. As for Isabelle, she could cook practical anything. As long as someone was there to remind her that she was cooking.
Maybe he should have messaged one of them to ask what dinner had been. At least than he wouldn't have to think about it. Or he could always order some pizzas for them. Even if the kids had already eaten they'd have room for pizza as well. Hell, he could probably still do that as well.
There was just something about pizza that made it the perfect food for stressful days. It was also perfect for times when you just wanted to relax and let the rest of the world fade away until nothing else mattered.
Something that he didn't really know how to handle anymore. He could barely remember a time before he had kids and no matter how smooth things went it was always stressful. During every second of every day there was the worry that something bad was about to happen.
Usually when things were actually going okay too. If their lives were calm and peaceful in any way something was going to happen to throw it all off balance. It might have been exhausting for him, but the day had gone fairly easy. Something was waiting just around the corner.
When they decided to have kids he had known that he would never be able to predict what came next. Yet, somehow, he was still surprised by how little he had understood. He loved Isabelle and Wesley with all of his heart, but half the time he found himself sitting there wondering how they had ever thought to do the things they did.
Which was one of the leading causes of why he didn't get nearly as much sleep as he wanted. Once upon a time he had actually thought that the whole no sleep thing would start to dwindle down when they got older. Given all the things he got up to when he was their age he had no idea where that particular delusion came from, but he had been proven wrong many times.
Although he had to be happy that they weren't nearly as bad as he and Callen had been. He wasn't sure they could be. Not that they had been really bad. They just… Well, they hadn't ended up in jail. They had just had a close call or two before they got their act together.
Isabelle had done a few things that made him shake his head knowing that she was smarter than her actions made her out to be, but that was a part of being and growing. She hadn't done anything too wild and crazy. Outside of the one time when she was fifteen. That still made anger course through his veins whenever he thought of that night. It was better for everyone if he didn't think of it.
Wesley, on the other hand, hadn't done anything like that yet. Instead he scared the living daylights out of them by getting lost without meaning to. The amount of times he had gotten a text from his son saying he had no idea where he was. He didn't think about that all that much either.
At the end of the day though, they were good kids. Something that he counted his blessings for. He wasn't sure he could handle the type of things that the two of them would try to pull off. Just thinking about it made him feel like he was in a nightmare.
Shaking his head to knock away the thoughts he quickly paid the taxi and climbed out making sure D.D. was standing next to him and that his bag was over his shoulder. He didn't get very far he felt the mutt poke her nose into his side and turn around. Following her lead Deeks looked behind him and saw Callen climbing out of a taxi of his own.
"Deeks," Callen greeted walking up to him.
"Callen," he signed back a smile tugging on his lips, "I thought you were going to try to organize the house a little today. Everything okay?"
"Apparently the team had some down time and reorganized some paperwork recently. At least they thought they did until a case came up that was similar to one I had worked before and they couldn't find any of mine. I walked them through what I remembered so they didn't have to wait around doing nothing."
"Ah. Paperwork."
"Yeah, I do not miss those days."
Before he could reply to the older man a wide yawn had Deeks shaking slightly where he stood. As he stood there blinking a few times trying to wake up a little a hand came to rest on his back as if to help steady him.
He knew that it was just Callen touching him, but the hand was so warm that he felt a shiver run up his spine. It was something that he hadn't felt in awhile and he found himself froze as he tried to figure out what he was supposed to do next.
His thoughts didn't get far before the hand was pulling away and Callen was moving so he was right in front of him watching him worriedly. Deeks could feel his cheeks heating up at the look and he couldn't help hoping the man had no idea what was going on in his head.
"Deeks, you okay?" Callen signed watching him closely.
"Yeah," he replied getting a hold of himself, "I'm fine. Want to split some pizza with me?"
"We have pizza?"
"We will once I order it."
A wide grin came to Callen's lips at that and they finished making their way into the house. As soon as the door opened both of them froze the smell of sauteed garlic and onions hitting them. Sharing a look with his husband they slowly made their way into the dining room and saw the table.
The good plates that Hetty had gotten them years ago were set on top of a tablecloth he wasn't sure they owned before. Roses and sunflowers were in a vase in the middle of the table along with an actual candelabra that he knew they didn't own. It was as if they had walked into a fancy restaurant instead of their dining room.
Everything was just so magnificent that it took him a moment to notice Isabelle lighting the candles. Forcing himself to focus Deeks leaned forward and knocked on the table. The teenager jumped and spun around to face them. Her eyes narrowed momentarily before she placed the lighter down and moved around the table to she was standing in front of them with her arms crossed.
"No," Deeks said out loud slight shake of his head.
An awkward look appeared on Isabelle's face as she dropped her arms to her sides straightened her dress. He was fully aware that she got her attitude from him and Callen, but the fact he had to remind her that she was talking to her parents sometimes never failed to amuse him.
"You're early," Isabelle signed like she was trying to defend herself, "We were supposed to be done when you got home."
"What?" Deeks replied sending a confused look to Callen.
Before Isabelle could answer Wesley practically skipped into the room a pot in his hands. From where he was standing Deeks saw his son talking a mile a minute only to almost throw it on the table when he saw him and Callen.
"Happy Anniversary, Papa and Dad!" Wesley signed bouncing up to them, "We made you dinner!"
It took longer than he liked to admit for the boys words to sink in, but when they did Deeks found himself pulling out his phone to check the date. June 11th. It was their anniversary. He and Callen had officially been married for eighteen years.
His thoughts didn't get further than that when Wesley and Isabelle were moving around again. For a moment he tried to follow them, but it didn't take long for him to lose focus and look over at Callen.
He expected for the man to look how he felt, but the older man had a smile on his face as he took in the table. If he hadn't seen the surprised look on his face before Deeks would think that Callen was in on the dinner.
"Nell's here," Callen signed turning towards him, "Apparently, she's taking the kids and D.D. for the night."
Deeks tried to think of a way to react to everything that was going on around him but no words came to mind. Instead he simply watched as Wesley and Isabelle moved around the house gathering their things before coming over to say goodbye before leaving him and Callen alone.
Everything seemed to be moving so quickly in that moment and he just wanted them to slow down. He needed to think. He needed to understand what the hell was going on. It was like his brain has stopped working though.
The only thing that he could think about was the fact that it was their anniversary and they had both forgotten. Alright, so it wasn't as if they had ever really spent a lot of time celebrating the day, but they always remembered at least.
It wasn't long until they were alone once more. After a moment the men awkwardly moved to sit at the table. The silence was almost oppressive as they got themselves situated and took everything in. The kids had really gone all out.
Feeling a hand rest on his own Deeks jerked his head to Callen and saw the older man staring at him worriedly. A shaky breath that he hated himself for slipped out. Closing his eyes he let his head drop forward so it rested on his chest as he tried to get himself under control once more.
The hand moved to cup his face lifting it up. He knew that if he opened his eyes Callen would have a reassuring loving smile on his face, but he couldn't bring himself to do that. He didn't want to be reassured.
When it became clear he wasn't going to open his eyes he felt his head being pulled forward his husbands lips gently brushing against his eyelids. Slowly he let his eyes flutter open and saw a soft smile on Callen's lips as he let his fingers caress his cheek before he pulled back.
"Don't, Sunshine," Callen signed with a shake of his head, "It's not worth it."
"Callen," Deeks tried to start.
"Let's enjoy this. The kids put a lot of work in."
A small part of Deeks wanted to argue. After everything that had happened with their relationship recently they should have been paying more attention. Forgetting anniversaries was a big deal.
As soon as he looked into Callen's eyes though all that went out the window. He somehow looked completely exhausted and hopeful at the same time. It made Deeks want to pull him into a hug and never let go.
"Okay," Deeks offered with a soft smile, "What did Isabelle make?"
A wide smile came to Callen's lips as he moved to serve the food. In that moment a wave of happiness filled him. It had been so long since he had seen the older man look like that. All he wanted to do was sit there and watch his husband be happy. It was just too cute.
Callen quickly filled up both of their plates with pasta and bread before pouring them some wine. Reaching out he took a sip of his drink as his husband looked around as if he was trying to figure out what he was supposed to do next. Chuckling softly he reached out and took his husbands hand in his own.
Sky blue eyes looked up so they were locked with his own. With a soft smile he leaned forward and pressed their lips together. He felt the older man sigh against his lips before he pulled back so he was leaning back in his chair.
"She made your favorite," Callen replied motioning to their plates.
"I do love pasta," Deeks grinned licking at his lips.
"I still can't believe you created the recipe."
"It's really simple. Normal pasta recipe really."
"Better than I could do. Hopefully Isabelle lived up to it."
"She's seen me make it enough times over the years. She better know how."
Callen shook his head in amusement before taking his first bite. Seeing the smile on his face Deeks figured that it wasn't going to kill him. Which was a small possibility if Isabelle rushed and undercooked the food. Something else that she had a tendency to do to a smaller degree.
Taking the first bite of food Deeks found himself pleasantly surprised. She had gone a little heavy handed on the garlic, but that really was just her. That girl loves garlic an almost unhealthy amount.
As the two of them ate they started to talk about what had happened that day. At least that's how it started. It wasn't long before they were laughing and talking about anything and everything that came into mind. They quickly finished the food and came close to finishing the bottle of wine.
"You're joking?" Callen asked looking like he was about to bust up laughing.
"You wish," Deeks smirked sending his husband a wink before picking up his glass and finding it empty.
A pout came to his lips as he reached for the bottle only for his hand to be intercepted. Blinking a few times he stared as Callen climbed to his feet before pulling him up as well. Once he was on his feet he felt his head spin as his body realized how much he had just drank.
Wrapping his arms around his husbands neck he let himself be stabilized. When he was sure he was about to fall over he felt a low laugh rumble through his body as he looked up at the man. He expected Callen to be laughing along with him. Instead he was simply watching him.
Without thinking Deeks let his hand slowly trail up Callen's back until he was cupping his neck. He felt the older mans body shake as he took in a deep breath. It was then that he realized they hadn't been so close to each other in so long.
Callen slowly moved forward and pressed their lips together. Sighing softly he pressed them together his hands tightening around his lover as they stumbled backwards until he was pressed against the wall with Callen pressed up against him.
Pulling back a little Callen trailed kisses down his jaw his teeth gently scraping against the side of his neck. Letting his head fall back against the wall Deeks gently massaged at his lovers back hoping to encourage him to continue.
"G," Deeks muttered his hips rocking forwards slightly.
The older man pulled away from his fully taking a step back so there was space between them. Deeks let his eyes travel over his husbands body taking him in. He looked so sexy and it had been so long.
Reaching out he threaded his hand with his husbands and started to pull him to their room. He forced the both of them to move slowly though all he wanted to do was rush and feeling Callen pressed against him once more. Swallowing roughly he pulled them in the room before shutting the door.
As soon as the door closed he expected for the older man to touch him like he had before. Instead he stood there quietly his eyes slowly tracing over him as he stalked closer. Feeling his breathing pick up he licked at his lips as Callen came to a stop in front of him.
Callen lifted his hand as if he was going to touch him only to stop when it was hovering over his cheek. The finger were so close that he swore he could feel them as they gently caressed the air by his face sending shivers up and down his spine.
Reaching up he took a hold of his lovers wrist pulling it close so it was cupping the side of his face. A smile tugged on Callen's lips as he ran his thumb over his cheek as he leaned forward pressing their lips together. A soft sigh fell from Deeks as he tried to move closer only to have Callen back away.
In that moment Deeks caught a glimpse of the older man's eyes and something he couldn't quite explain coursed through him. All he knew was the fact that it wasn't a good feeling. It more made him wonder if they were doing the right thing.
Something that wasn't all that surprising to him. It had always played in the back of his mind that they were going through the motions that the other thought they should be doing. Even before their conversation it seemed like that.
Those thoughts echoed around his mind as he watched his husband shake his head his hands moving to his tie. Tugging on the fabric Callen let it wrap around his fist before sliding it off and letting it fall to the floor.
Deeks found himself struggling to stand still as the hands moved to the buttons on his shirt. The urge to pull his lover closer to him was just as strong as the one that wanted to push him away. He knew that he shouldn't feel so conflicted in that moment. It wasn't as if he didn't love Callen and he did want to have sex with him, but it felt weird.
A part of him wanted to say something, anything, to Callen in that moment to find out if he was feeling the same way. Which was something that happened very often anymore. After so long of only really speaking out loud to their kids the urge just wasn't there anymore.
At the same time though it felt as if talking would break the spell. Something that he didn't want to do. After so long of not feeling close to the older man the last thing he wanted to do was put more space between them.
As his shirt fell to the floor Deeks found himself lost. What they both wanted and what he thought they needed seemed to be two different things and he had no idea which they should be going for. Or was he wrong and they were actually the same thing?
Swallowing roughly he looked up at Callen and saw him staring back at him. Without thinking he grabbed the man and spun them around so he fell back on their bed. He felt himself shaking as he pushed off the last of his clothes before dropping down so he was kneeling on the bed over Callen.
"Callen," Deeks said out loud drawing the mans attention.
For a moment the two of them moved with no hesitation stripping Callen of his clothes. As soon as the last of them hit the floor the older man was reaching out pulling Deeks down so he was laying on top of him.
Dropping down so he was balanced on his forearms Deeks stared in the older mans eyes hoping to figure out what he was feeling. A shaky hand reached up to rest on the side of his face pulling him down so their lips were pressed together once more.
Feeling the mans lips against his own Deeks rolled them to the side pulling Callen in close. The hand moved around the back of his head until it tangled in his hair. Everything about it was so gentle and loving and somehow it still felt like they were doing something wrong.
"Callen," Deeks tried to start though he had no idea what to say.
Instead of saying anything Callen rolled over and reached into the drawer pulling out a bottle of lube. Deeks heart felt like it was pounding out of his chest as the man rolled back over dropping the bottle between them on the bed.
Reaching out he picked it up and turned it over in his hands a few times. Licking at his lips Deeks looked up at Callen and saw him staring at it himself. It was then that he realized that Callen looked just as confused as he felt.
"What are you thinking about?" Deeks asked dropping the lube back to the bed so he could sign once more.
"Just thinking of the last time we did this," Callen replied with a shake of his head.
"It has been awhile, hasn't it? It just..."
"Didn't feel right? I know. We might have been sleeping in the same bed, but more often than not it felt like we weren't even together. I hate even thinking that."
"I do too, but you're not wrong. That's exactly what it was like. Two strangers that just happened to be around each other a lot. We really did let ourselves fall, didn't we?"
"Yeah, but we're getting better now."
"Are we? Because sometimes it… It feels like we're still just faking that everything is fine. That we're fine."
Callen lifted his hands like he was going to say something only for them to fall back to the bed once more. Deeks knew that it wasn't fair to either of them, but he also knew that if he didn't say what he was thinking that it would build up into something even greater later.
That had been their entire relationship so far. Not talking about the things that were bothering them until someone else forced them to. He wanted to break that cycle before it started up again. He wanted his husband back.
That was when he realized that the two of them were laying on their bed completely naked talking. Nothing about that was funny. It was fairly common place for couples to do something like that. Especially when their kids weren't around.
Still he found himself placing a hand over his mouth laughing at the ridiculousness of the whole thing. Even as he tried to gain some control over himself but he couldn't stop laughing until he was laying on his back staring up at the ceiling.
Callen's head popped into his view a moment later only to glare down at him as if he was unamused by the whole thing. It was a look that had been directed at their kids more than once and, just like with them, the sight sent him into another fit of laughter.
It didn't take long for a smile to appear on Callen's face as he was leaning forward to bury his face against Deeks chest. Wrapping his arms around the older man the laughter slowly stopped until they were both simply laying there.
He felt the older man move around slightly and he found himself looking down at him. The sky blue eyes stared up at him with such peace and love that he couldn't help leaning down to press their lips together. It was barely more than a peck and yet in that moment it was perfect.
"You know," Deeks started staring down at the man, "When I got home all I wanted to do was eat and sleep. No drama. Just relaxation."
"Almost succeeded there," Callen mouthed a smile tugging on his lips.
"Maybe, but I think this might be a little better."
"You do know we still have to clean up right?"
"Don't ruin it,G."