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It’s been this way ever since the accident. Well that’s what they’re calling it anyway. But to Gerard, it does not feel that way. It was some fucked up karma thing since everything was going too well in his life.
He had a great job that he loved. He had an amazing boyfriend who loved him and who he loved. He was happier than he had been in as long as he could remember.
It was just supposed to be a quick run to the store for something stupid that neither one of them can remember now. Gerard took the curve a little too fast in the rain and never saw the semi-truck broken down on the side of the road.
Neither one of them remembers slamming into the back of the truck at full force. They don’t remember the driver pulling them out of the car just before the flames engulfed the car. They don’t remember the chaos as the ambulance gets there and they take both Frank and Gerard to the ER. Gerard remembers when Frank is admitted and is sent to a room on the fourth floor. Gerard remembers that he was discharged but couldn’t go home. He had to stay by Frank. There was no way he was leaving him like this.
Because even though Gerard doesn’t remember everything, he is at least awake. Frank is still unconscious lying in the sterile bed, hooked to more machines than Gerard thought was possible.
Gerard hardly leaves the entire time Frank is at the hospital, hoping things will change if he stays by Frank’s side. But every day, it’s the same thing. They finally release Frank when everything else about his health is back to normal. But his memory, they don’t know if it will ever come back.
~*~*~*~
It’s been the same thing for four months now. They wake up the same way every morning. Well, at least Gerard does. He doesn’t really know how Frank wakes up, he just knows that the minute Frank is up the screams of panic and sing of fucks come flying out of his mouth.
He was okay in the hospital. He was a little freaked out, but somehow, in the back of his mind, Frank must have known the hospital is safe. Somehow at their home, Frank has no idea where he is or who he is sleeping with.
So every day starts the same way. Gerard spends the first part of the morning drinking coffee with the love of his life telling him everything.
Gerard tells Frank his name and how they met. He tells Frank the names of their dogs. He has to tell Frank about Mikey and Ray and any of their friends who might be coming by that day. Frank remembers his family which is a blessing. But Gerard has to teach Frank about his any time there is going to be someone coming over.
Gerard has to tell Frank about their first date. He tells him about the goofy hot dog cart in the middle of town where they met for lunch every day for months when they were working on opposite sides of the town. Gerard shows him the book his mom made for them with all of the pictures of the two of them together. She has written The history of Gerard and Frank across the first page.
Sometimes late at night, Gerard will look through the book alone after Frank is sleeping. He is amazed that their five years together fit into a book. But he would take it all back for Frank to just remember his name.
When he finally falls into bed, he just hopes that Frankie will remember Gee in the morning. Because Gerald’s only hope is that he never has to tell Frank everything again.