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Sokka caught Zuko’s eye on day one of middle school. It seemed like Sokka always managed to brighten up whatever environment he was in, at least to Zuko. His energetic voice and lively personality were almost magnetic. Zuko sat in the corner as the substitute teacher told the class a story. Zuko rolled his eyes, sighing deeply- this sorry attempt at storytelling was boring him to death.
Zuko looked around to find something to keep his mind busy until his eyes landed on Sokka, sitting in the front. Sokka’s eyes were on the sub but his hands were in his lap, rapidly rotating the layers of a Rubix cube. For the rest of the class, Zuko was immersed in the movements of Sokka’s fingers.
It became a habit of Zuko’s, one that he enjoyed very much and looked forward to every day. Classes were boring but Sokka was fun, cool, and unpredictable. One day he was making the whole class laugh with his jokes and the next day he was getting in trouble with his friends for pulling silly pranks on students from other classes. With Sokka around, Zuko was rarely ever bored in class.
He moved in with Uncle Iroh last year after his father was arrested for fraud. Uncle’s house was far but he didn’t change school. He needed to be around Sokka because he was Zuko’s living embodiment of home and with all the turmoil in his life, Zuko needed that few hours of solace.
This is how it’s been for the past six years– Sokka and Zuko in the same room surrounded by dozens of kids. They rarely interacted but Zuko was content with sitting behind Sokka and watching him from a 45-degree angle.
Until now.
School is over and Sokka is sitting next to the teacher, solving math problems for fun- typical vice-president-about-to-attend-an-ivy-league student stuff.
Zuko is just a few feet away in the front row, copying the student code of conduct as a part of his detention. His offense? Having four absences and five tardies in the last quarter.
The school’s rule is to have no more than three absences and three tardies but he’s a senior for god’s sake and senioritis is a real thing! Shouldn’t the staff be more considerate of the seniors who are already miserable trying to juggle AP classes, college applications, and financial aid all at once?
Huffing, Zuko continues his writing, moving his fingers as slowly as possible to avoid finishing quickly. If he does, he will have to sit here with nothing to do for the rest of the hour.
He tries not to look at Sokka, who is now chatting with the teacher. Differential operations and logarithmic derivatives? Zuko has little idea what Sokka is talking about. The only thing his regular calculus class covered so far is limits. AP Calculus students are on a different level.
His thoughts are interrupted by the teacher’s call, “Zuko, isn’t this your paper from our last quiz?”
“Yes?”
His teacher continues, holding up the paper, “Have you considered coming to math tutoring? These quizzes are 15 percent of your grade.”
Zuko is at a loss for words. Math isn’t his strongest subject. All these years, he’s barely managed to get by with B’s and A minuses, but to get called out right in front of the guy he’s admired for so long? Zuko has no preparation for this kind of situation.
“Uhh, I-I work after school. I can’t come to tutoring.” he manages to stammer out, hoping that would end the conversation. The longer it gets, the more awkward it’s going to be.
“Well, why don’t you make good use of your time now? I have to grade some papers but Sokka is here. He can help you.” he looks at Sokka, “Can’t you, Sokka?”
Beaming, Sokka nods his head and turns to look at Zuko, “Of course! I’d love to!”
Zuko gulps, trying to keep his face impassive as Sokka takes the seat next to him and puts the papers on his desk.
“Zuko, right? We have some classes together.”
That’s because I checked the Counselor’s file and signed up for the same classes-- Zuko thinks.
Sokka gives him a bright smile and Zuko almost feels bad for not being more appreciative of his help, so he tries to return the gesture with a small smile of his own.
“Let’s see what we have.” Sokka looks through Zuko’s papers. “Continuous functions! They can be a little tricky and a lot of information to remember but once you get the basics down, it’ll be fairly simple. Do you know the formulas?”
Sokka takes Zuko’s notebook and starts writing on a new page. Only a few inches away, he smells like sandalwood and rain and it takes Zuko all his might not get engulfed by Sokka’s scent and presence and focus on the graph he was drawing.
“Do you see this?” tapping at the graph, Sokka looks up at him, “For a function to be continuous, the limit has to exist from both sides and the function has to be defined at the point.”
Why does it sound so simple when Sokka explains it? He’d spent hours being angry over this. Spirits, he feels like an idiot now!
“I understand.” Zuko nods and for the first time looks directly at Sokka, “You’re so smart. It must be easy for you.”
Sokka laughs, suddenly caught off guard by Zuko’s attention. “It’s not like that.” He pulls out a paper from his bag and holds it up in front of Zuko, scratching his head awkwardly. “I got an extension in this essay because I was struggling so much!”
“AP Lit with Mrs. Perry? I’m also in that class.”
“I know. I’ve seen you.”
Zuko doesn’t know where it came from but suddenly he feels a sense of courage and some other unfamiliar feelings well up in his chest, “I-I can look over your essay for you...if you want?”
Sokka’s eyes light up like he'd just won the lottery. He holds Zuko by the shoulders and shakes him gently, “You’d do that? Oh my god, dude, I’ll love you forever if you look it over!”
Love you forever- the words sting in Zuko’s heart and whatever bravery that possessed him before is absolutely gone. He is back to his awkward hot self, looking around and searching for the right word to say.
Sokka seems to have noticed the awkward air because he quickly changes the tone, “No, seriously. You mean you’d review my paper for me?”
Zuko nods.
He grabs the paper and starts marking up places with a red pen. Sokka doesn’t seem to be quite a bad writer, the essay just lacks organization, rhetorical devices, has way too many quotes and wow, this is... pretty bad - Zuko thought to himself.
“What do you think?”
“It’s a five out of nine”
“Oh no!” Sokka cries, pulling his hair with both hands. “Even after I spent so much time on this?”
“Listen.” Zuko turns to look at him and he picks his words more carefully than he’s ever done before. He wants to help Sokka, he truly does. “I can see you worked hard. You just need to spend your time more...wisely. You made some really great points but failed to prove them. Your arguments don’t link up. You mentioned textual evidence but didn’t provide in-depth analysis. Your control of language isn’t consistent throughout.”
Sokka watches him with bewildered, wide eyes. “I’m a lost cause, aren’t I? I’ve never been good at these!”
“No!”
Shit, Zuko messed up.
The last thing he wants is for Sokka to feel discouraged. “A little less reliance on paraphrases, better integration of the body paragraphs, and more attention to how the text signals the narrator's persistent inner conflict could easily raise your score.”
Sokka sighs. “It sounds so easy when you say it.”
“H-how about this?” Zuko initiates, hoping Sokka takes his words sincerely. “You write a few mock essays using different prompts and I’ll score them for you. We can keep trying until your score goes up to a seven.”
___________
They exchange Snapchats.
Well, not exactly in that sense. Sokka asks for his Snapchat but Zuko doesn’t have Snapchat. Matter of fact, he doesn’t have profiles on any other social media besides Facebook and that was only because of Uncle Iroh, but Zuko wasn’t about to tell the cool, super-popular guy in the school how much of an asocial hermit he was!
So he gets Sokka’s username instead and as soon as he gets home, downloads Snapchat and adds Sokka as his first friend.
Zuko lies on his bed, phone on the side, and reflecting on the day. Today’s been probably the most eventful day since the semester started.
Living with an abusive father, a year ago, he couldn’t even have imagined having a friendly, normal interaction with anyone. It seems that helping out with uncle at his tea shop and going to therapy is really working out because talking with Sokka ? While sitting so close to him and exchanging contact info? Maybe senior year will really be THE year of high school like they show in movies.
Smiling, Zuko covers his face with his hands and rolls over, trying to suppress the blush that crept upon his face.
Beside him, the phone’s screen flashes on.
“WowSokka added you as a friend.”
_______________
Sokka sends the first mock essay only a day later.
Zuko saves the link to the essay and when he’s about to exit the chat, notices the pop of Sokka’s profile. Curious, he clicks on it and voila!
It’s a sleeveless shirt Sokka eating a red and white popsicle while sitting in the parking lot. His toned, smooth arm muscles and the way his legs formed a V shape showing off his meaty calves really must have done something to Zuko because his fingers move on their own and snap a screenshot before he could even realize it.
Once the deed is done, his mind gets back control, blood rushes to his cheeks and he starts to panic.
Well, Since I’m helping him, I can have a little hot Sokka picture collection, right? As a treat? - Zuko reasons with his mind, trying to stop it from going further into a disastrous state. Yeah, that’s all there is. Besides, Sokka’s not going to know about this. So, what harm is there?
______
Sokka knew on the first day.
He is scrolling through his views when he notices the username zuko123. He’s taken a screenshot and It seems a little odd at first, but Sokka isn’t one to judge.
The next day, as per habit, he posts a picture of him and his bro Aang at the gym on his story. A sweating Sokka flexing his gains in front of a mirror isn’t a new view for his homies.
But at the end of the day when he’s lying on his bed scrolling through social media, Zuko’s profile is on his views again and it has the screenshot arrows. This time, Sokka’s curiosity is through the roof.
He later posts another picture: blue-gray button-up short sleeves, paired with chinos and loafers. For some extra jazz, he lets down his hair and puts on some non-prescription glasses. A simple look that shouldn’t concern anybody. Unless....?
And there it is at night. Little crisscrossed arrows next to username zuko123.
Sokka’s face splits into a mischievous smile. This is going to be fun.
On the fourth day, Zuko asks to meet during lunch to explain the mock essay scores to him. “I find it easier to explain in person,” he says. Sokka has no problem with that– if anything, he now has a better chance to confirm his suspicion.
They find themselves sitting next to each other, plastic trays filled with stale breadsticks and chocolate milk cartons in front of them. Zuko’s tapping the paper with his red pen, circling a word every so often and talking in a serious tone. Sokka’s face is resting on his hands, eyes fixed on the guy before him.
“So here, you talked about the creature’s internal struggles, but didn’t connect it to the third body paragraph where you analyzed his journey to self-discovery.”
Zuko has long eyelashes that flutter gently as he speaks. Even his right eye which is scarred red and slightly more slanted than the other moves ever so gracefully.
“-cut down on paraphrases, but you still have to analyze the ones you’ve included. In-depth-”
His skin is so smooth and delicate and the way his hair frames his face just right and the way he looks unexpectedly adorable scrunching his nose while looking at the paper- this guy could easily pass as a model. Why isn’t he more popular with girls?
“-so, what are you going to do?” Zuko expectantly looks at Sokka, catching him off guard.
“What am I gonna do?” Sokka hesitates.
“You tell me. We still haven’t reached our goal.”
Sokka doesn’t know what to tell him. He hasn’t paid attention to anything Zuko said and instead spent the whole time watching Zuko and trying to figure out if he really has a crush on Sokka. This is bad.
Zuko informs him that his essays scored barely six this time around. Hastily, Sokka offers a solution, trying to not make the situation awkward. He’ll write a few more mock essays and they’ll meet up again to discuss the shortcomings and room for growth. Zuko is on board with the idea and Sokka releases a sigh of relief.
“But you have to write about something other than Frankenstein,” Zuko says with a small smile.
“What? But that’s my favorite book, and it’s easy to write about it!”
“You'll see how much your writing skills have improved if you write about different topics.” Zuko takes his backpack and untouched tray, pocketing only the chocolate milk carton and throwing away the rest. “Besides, there’s no telling Frankenstein will fit the prompt on the AP exam.” He turns to Sokka, getting ready to leave.
“Well, thanks for the help, dude! I’ll text you on Snapchat!” Sokka waves, watching as Zuko leaves.
Sokka needs to try something different. He needs to raise his essay score and figure out what Zuko’s deal is. Both are challenging but Sokka was the president of the robotics club, honors society secretary, and two-time math olympiad champion- if anyone could do both, he could.
_________
Zuko knows he has a crush on Sokka– that much is obvious by now. But it isn’t until the seventh picture he screenshots from Sokka’s Snapchat story that Zuko realizes that over the years his secret admiration has developed into something stronger and more complicated.
It is a picture of topless Sokka wearing shorts and bench pressing at his usual gym. Zuko’s eyes fix themselves on the image and his mind immediately gets to work.
In his fantasy, Sokka isn’t the only one who’s topless and the barbell isn’t what he’s lifting. His grip is more gentle and there’s a weight of another body on top, rocking back and forth.
Zuko shivers, closing his eyes. He focuses on the image and gets to work until his mind and body are both satisfied.
While cleaning up, Zuko is deep in thought.
He really has feelings for Sokka, but Sokka is probably straight. No- he’s definitely straight because Zuko’s seen his girlfriend hanging around him. He regularly sees Sokka with that short-haired girl who always wears sweats to school and hangs out at the gym. And even if he isn’t completely straight, they’re going off to college in a few months. Does Zuko really want to get into a relationship in the middle of his senior year? And even if he does, does he truly have the guts to ask Sokka out on a date?
Zuko sighs, opening the “Sokka>.<” album on his phone and looking at the little collection of his favorite possessions. For now, he would have to stay satisfied with only the pictures and his fantasy.
_________
“This is dumb,” Sokka sighs, leaning back on the wall as Zuko explains the last act of A Midsummer Night’s Dream.
Their deal to help each other have unofficially expanded and Zuko is now helping a very impatient, frustrated Sokka understand Shakespeare while walking to class.
“Why would you build up all the conflict only to have the fairies come in and fix it all with magic.”
“But that’s why it’s unique.” Zuko turns his head to put the book in his bag. “Besides, wouldn’t you like it if a magic potion could fix all your relationship problems?”
Sokka halts, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “Relationship problems?”
“You- and your girlfriend, never have any problems?” Zuko offers unhelpfully.
“Dude, I don’t know where you got that from. I don’t have a girlfriend!”
Sokka laughs when Suki suddenly passes by, smiling and punching his arm on the way. He looks at her then looks back to Zuko who is still watching her.
“She….”
“Suki?” Sokka’s eyes widen, a small smile still playing on his face. “That’s my gym buddy, not girlfriend!”
Zuko nods, turning the other way and making a gesture to fix his backpack. Shaking his head, Sokka hums a random tune and walks into the class, mentally noting the way Zuko’s lips curved upwards just now.
That night, Zuko takes another screenshot. This time, when a wild fantasy eventually takes over his mind, he allows himself to feel good without any guilt.
_________
They meet up a couple more times during lunch to go over Sokka’s mock essays. Each time, he watches from the corner of his eye as Zuko takes sneaky glances at him between rewriting paragraphs.
Zuko stays after school twice with the excuse of getting help on Calculus problems and Sokka can’t resist the smile that forms on his face when they’re together. Zuko’s poor acting skills easily give away the fact that he’s actually learned these concepts in class and has no problem understanding. Sokka knows Zuko’s here for him and he likes that a lot.
Though, the biggest evidence of Zuko’s crush on him would be the fact that in the past two months, he’s has taken thirteen screenshots of Sokka's Snapchat stories. All full or half body pictures of Sokka himself.
Once during the weekend, they meet up at Dragon Tea- Zuko’s uncle’s shop where he works after school.
Sokka goes there to do homework and Zuko comes to chat with Sokka on his breaks. He blushes furiously when Uncle Iroh hands him a bubble tea for Sokka on the house and lets him off two hours early so he could spend more time with his friend. They walk back home in the orange evening glow and Sokka unexpectedly learns about Zuko’s dragon obsession in a long, mindless chat.
_________
Sitting on a chair in the gym, Sokka scrolls through his friend list on Snapchat. Zuko has a story. It’s a picture of him and his uncle in front of the shop with the caption SPRING SPECIALS and a list of special spring drinks at Dragon Tea.
An idea pops into Sokka’s head.
He quickly takes a mirror selfie flexing his post-workout gains and uploads it to his story.
And he waits– one minute, two minutes, ten minutes.
It comes a little later: zuko123 took a screenshot of your story.
Laughing silently, he goes back to Zuko’s story to take a screenshot of Zuko’s picture.
Zuko likes Sokka and now Zuko is going to know that Sokka knows that he likes Sokka.
“What’s got you laughing?” Suki walks over, throwing a Gatorade in his direction and wiping the sweat off her forehead.
“This guy…” Sokka grins, still looking at his phone, waiting for a response from Zuko.
“Who?” She peeks over at his phone and Sokka pulls out the picture of Zuko and his Uncle.
“I’ve seen him at school. Looks antisocial.”
“He’s just shy,” laughing, Sokka shakes his head.
“He’s got a crush on me. He takes screenshots of all my selfies but I don’t think he knows that you can see who takes a screenshot.” he grins, still looking at the screen. “I just took a screenshot of his story. He’s gonna realize that I know what he’s up to.”
A few seconds pass until Suki speaks.
“Are you sure that was a good idea?”
Sokka finally turns to look at her, “What was a good idea?”
“To put him on the spot like that. You just said he’s shy, if you expose him, he’s gonna be very embarrassed.”
“Why-? I mean, what’s the big deal? I’m sure he’s fine.” Sokka gets up, hoping he’ll get a text from Zuko and they can laugh it over tonight.
________
He doesn’t get a text.
In fact, he doesn’t see Zuko for the next two days at all. He must have purposefully skipped AP Lit because Sokka’s sure he caught a glimpse of him in the hallway on Thursday. His silhouette disappeared in the crowd before Sokka could call out to him.
The weekend comes, and Sokka grows more anxious. He takes the initiative to text.
Hey dude, how’s it going?
No response.
It’s not until Sunday night that Sokka starts worrying that something has gone horribly wrong. Zuko isn’t one to ignore him in person or online. An odd weight settles it his heart and pains him until he’s frantic and restlessly trying to resolve the situation.
He calls Suki.
“Do you remember the guy I told you about last week?” Sokka asks as soon as she picks up the call.
“Which guy?”
“The guy that takes screenshots of my pictures.”
“Oh, yeah. What about him?”
Sokka explains the events that unfolded since Wednesday evening, how Zuko’s actively avoided him and how oddly guilty he feels. “I think I fucked up, dude,” Sokka sighs.
“I think you did” Suki deadpans.
“Ugh, What should I do now? I don’t want him to avoid me or to stop talking to me!”
“And why don’t you want him to stop talking to you?”
Sokka goes quiet at the question. Why doesn’t he?
“Let me ask you this, Sokka. Do you like him?”
This time Sokka is seriously taken aback. Like him? Like Zuko? Does Sokka like Zuko? Does Sokka like GUYS? Millions of questions crowd in his head.
“Wait, Suki, wait! I-” Waving his hands, he gestures for her to stop. His head feels heavy. Strange feelings wash over him and question after question race through his mind, one pushing past the other before he has the chance to process the first. “I-I don’t know,” he manages to get out.
“I understand.” Suki gives him a tight smile. “Take your time to think, not about him, but about yourself. Why do you feel bad? What does it mean to you that he likes you? And What does it mean to you if he stops talking to you? I think you’ll find the answer there.”
Nodding, Sokka thanks Suki and hangs up the phone.
He’s never expected to face these questions. It was just amusing to see Zuko have a crush on him and he just liked hanging out with him. But what does Zuko's crush mean to him? Well, he isn’t repulsed by it. If anything, he’s happy to know that Zuko sees him that way.
Then what does it mean if he stops talking to you forever? Suki’s words play in his head.
If that happens, if Zuko actually never talks to him again, he’s going to be sad.
He’s going to be extremely sad and perhaps remorseful for as long as he remembers about Zuko, and he’s going to remember him for an eternity.
Sokka’s going to regret acting so carelessly and losing the chance to learn more about Zuko.
What flavor of ice cream does Zuko like? Does he prefer Parks & Recreation or The Office? Is he scared of rollercoasters too? Sokka doesn’t know and he wants to know.
He wants to ask how he got the scar on his face, what got him into dragons, when he started liking Sokka- he wants to know all the small and big details about Zuko.
Is this what it means to like someone?
Then Sokka likes Zuko.
Yeah, he does like Zuko. Zuko’s great. He’s smart, respectful, kind, excessively handsome, and-- a guy .
Zuko is a guy and Sokka likes Zuko.
Sokka likes guys.
It finally clicks and his eyes go wide. He’s such an idiot!
Sokka likes Zuko.
But what has he done? He’s played games with Zuko’s feelings. He was disrespectful and inconsiderate. Fuck, he’s a jerk!
No wonder Zuko wouldn’t want to talk to him.
Sokka sits straight, grabs a notebook with one hand, and turns on the phone with the other. He texts Zuko, desperately hoping he’ll get a response back.
__________
Can you pls meet me tomorrow at the library during lunch? I have a deadline tomorrow and I need some feedback on my essay. pls, PLEASE?
Zuko stares at the screen and reads the message for the hundredth time. After what happened last Wednesday, he’s lost all his nerve to face Sokka.
Spirits, why is Zuko so naive?
If he was going to use a new app, why didn’t he simply look. it. up.
He must have looked really funny, screenshotting all of Sokka’s pictures. And all the times they hung out, Sokka knew what a gullible creep he is!
Dear spirits, Zuko is a fool.
How can he possibly talk to Sokka again? How can he stand in front of him and not cower in humiliation and shame? How can he ever even be in the same space as him?
But he needs you, a voice in his mind reminds him.
If Zuko doesn’t help him, he’s probably going to do terribly on his essay. He’s seen Sokka’s writing. Despite being such a genius, it was a matter of pure luck that he even managed to get a six in one of the mock essays. If Zuko doesn’t help him, he’s gonna get a bad score, which could affect his college admission or scholarship!
He doesn’t want that. As much as he doesn’t want to face Sokka, he hates the thought of something bad happening to him even more.
Zuko is angry at Sokka, yes, but he’s even more in love with him, so he decides to go.
Ok.
_________
Zuko is walking back and forth, fidgeting with his hands and watching the time every few minutes. Maybe he shouldn’t have come. Lunch is almost over, but Sokka is nowhere to be seen.
He’s been made a fool of again. Spirits, when will he ever learn-
“Zuko!” Sokka runs to his direction, holding a folded paper in his hand.
“Thank goodness you’re still here!” Sokka’s bending forward, gasping loudly to catch his breath. He holds out his hand, “here!”
Here -- his words replay in Zuko’s mind.
After all that happened, they finally meet again and this is how Sokka greets him?
Zuko’s heart shatters into a million tiny pieces. He really has been alone in his silly feelings. How come he never realized this? This is why nothing ever goes right in his life. Biting down on his lip, Zuko takes the paper and starts reading.
“I don't know how to start this letter, because as I write this, I’m afraid this might be the end of our good acquaintance. I’m still writing because this letter is a part of my 25th principle in life that I call “Do it now” because the price of failure is much higher than the price of success.
I was aware of your feelings for me the entire time. Despite knowing how sincere you were, I played games with your feelings. For that, I’ll never be sorry enough. I wish I could undo the past. I thought I was thinking about myself, living my life to the fullest when I acted the way I did but I was deceiving myself.
I wasn’t thinking about myself either because if I was, I don’t think it would’ve taken me this long to realize how much you mean to me.
I know you’ll find it hard to believe. My feelings for you- I could hardly understand them myself. I don't know how to pour out my feelings for you. I wanted to find the perfect words to make you realize how much I need you and care about you, but words continue to elude me.
All I know is that I've never been like this before. Looking at someone’s smile didn’t make me this stupidly happy until I saw you. Such overwhelming urge to know and protect someone didn’t swallow my entire being until I met you. The idea of never talking to someone didn’t wrench my heart this much until I imagined not talking to you.
To be honest, I never thought I would ever utter those words, but now, they come forth effortlessly and with great sincerity. I hope I’d be lucky and that you’ll give another chance to show you how much I love you, how much I want to take care of you in my own way, secure and comfort you every time you feel confused and sad. I hope you’d let me hold your hand and stay by your side when you get the dragon tattoo on your back after the AP exams. And I hope that you will give me a chance to know and love you more.
- Sokka
Zuko’s breath is stuck in his throat. The tears that he tried so hard to hold back before now start to stream down his cheeks. This is the last thing he’d expected to happen in his senior year of high school, let alone today .
Once over the initial shock, Zuko looks up at Sokka. Golden, flaming eyes look into the brilliant blue sea and try to find the sincerity, the promise of the euphoria written on the paper.
It’s there.
There is a hint of eagerness in Sokka’s eyes, affirming his desire.
Zuko finally smiles “it’s an eight.”
Sokka’s eyes spark with joy, “C’mon! What’s a man gotta do to get a nine?”
Zuko is still smiling, his gaze locked on Sokka.
Sokka finally gets the hint.
He leans forward, takes Zuko’s face in both hands, and kisses him so gently that Zuko feels like he’s going to melt. His hands find their way to Sokka’s hair, and he kisses back with full force, shocking Sokka and leaving him gasping for air.
A wide, soft smile splits Zuko’s face.
“Now it’s a nine.”