Chapter Text
You were starting to regret going to this party.
With a sigh and a once-over of the room, you caught a glance of Akaashi’s figure near an unfamiliar girl’s as they chatted happily. You only agreed to come to this stupid party because he was dragged along by Bokuto and asked you to come and accompany him so he wasn’t awkwardly standing in the noisy, crowded apartment. The roles had suddenly reversed twenty minutes in, though, and now a group of girls chatted with him happily while you stood against the wall, phone in one hand and trademark red plastic cup in the other as you longingly watched the scene before you.
Akaashi had told you to tell him when you wanted to leave so you both had an excuse for your “escape.” Looks like that deal was out of the question. He seemed to be enjoying himself.
Truth be told, you’d taken a liking to the guy for a while now. Your feelings toward him had started way back when in junior high--but at that point you had bigger things to worry about so you didn’t act on or really care about your feelings at all. It’s funny how now, in college, with frantic classes and exams and extracurriculars, your feelings decided to flow uncomfortably yet consistently through your system every time you even caught a glance at the blue-eyed boy.
It hurt a little to watch the way he chatted so amicably with some random girls he’d met. He was an introvert at heart--not to say he was completely inept in social situations, but you knew he definitely preferred to stick with those close to him. You supposed tonight was an exception, along with the group of four-- no, five girls laughing at whatever charming remark he’d made this time.
Honestly, the pain thrumming through your veins wasn’t primarily caused by his uncharacteristically flirty personality tonight. It was mainly because of the fact that he pretty much retracted the wordless pack you’d made to stick together at the party. Now you had virtually no one to walk you back home-- safely. You either had to suck it up and approach him first or deal with walking back to your apartment. Alone. At night. On the way back from a college party, while buzzed.
Logically, you picked the former. Temporary embarrassment was much more worth it than the potential consequences of the latter option.
You took a deep breath, checked the time on your phone (half past midnight--much later than when you originally intended to leave), and pushed yourself off the wall with cold, shaky legs and approached the harem surrounding your friend.
You tapped on his shoulder lightly, and his head swiveled around to face you. His lightened expression dropped the slightest bit at your familiar figure and you couldn’t help the turn of your heart at that.
“Um…” Hyper-aware of the attention you’d garnered from the people he was talking to, you avoided making eye-contact with any of them and Akaashi. “It’s getting a bit late--” very late, actually, “--is it okay if we go home now?”
Akaashi’s eyebrows furrowed, as if disbelieving of the very simple request you made. “What? Why?”
Did you not just tell him exactly why? Refraining from sighing out loud, you repeated your request.
“You said you’d walk me home when I wanted to leave. And it’s… almost one. So I figured we could get going now.”
His smile returned, and for a second you hoped he’d come to his senses and leave the overwhelming environment with you, but those thoughts were quickly shot down with his next statement.
“Oh, you can get going! Don’t worry about me, I’ll find my way back to my apartment.”
Oh. Okay. That was great. Good to know.
You simply gave him a shaky smile, too tired and exhausted and overwhelmed by all the sensory stimulus of the party to even try to clarify anything with him. The silent, judging gazes of the girls pricked your skin and made you flustered. You swiveled on your heel and walked into the kitchen, where you dumped your drink into the sink and made your way to the front door.
It was whatever, you thought. You’d be fine. You had your pepper spray in the back pocket of your jeans (which you took out and clamped tightly in your hand), a working phone, and you were sober enough to navigate your way through the dark streets without stumbling or forgetting the way back to your building.
All of these affirmations still were not enough to quell the quickening beat of your heart and the sweat lining your palms and forehead despite the cold of the night. Your senses were on overdrive, flinching at every rustle of the wind and distant footsteps on the other side of the street.
The streets weren’t completely empty--cars passed by occasionally and there weer a few people walking on the sidewalk, too. That was enough to calm you down the slightest bit as you traversed your way through the more urban area of the town.
Your thoughts were loud, though, the contemplation of how Akaashi even thought of you anymore flooding your previously composed thoughts and becoming a bit too much for you as you slipped into a small grocery store to take a break from walking and maybe get a snack, or gatorade, or advil.
Your breaths were shaky and the backs of your eyes pricked slightly with oncoming tears. Willing yourself to calm down, you buried yourself in an empty snack aisle and gazed emptily at the vibrant chip bags, trying to be the slightest bit optimistic about the situation.
I should be happy for Akaashi, you thought. He’s not the most social person, so obviously he saw something in them that led him to actually keep talking with them. Maybe he’ll get a date with one of them. That’d be cool. That’d be new. That would… kind of hurt. But I should be happy! I am happy! I promise! It’s great that he’s stepping out of his comfort zone, and--
“Hey, [Name]!”
You flinched at the call of your name and nearly pressed on the nozzle of the pepper spray hidden in your palm. You turned to your left to find someone you weren’t expecting to see.
“Bokuto…?”
Said male gave a bright smile, walking closer to you and glancing over the options in the aisle.
“I saw that you left the party, but Akaashi was still there, so I was wondering where you went. I was walking back to your apartment to check on you and made sure you got back safely, but then I caught you walking in here so I followed you.” A pause, and then his eyes widened as he processed what he said.
“I mean--! I didn’t, like, follow you, I just-- I was going to your house and found you here--! That sounds bad too! I promise I wasn’t being creepy, I just--”
“Bokuto,” you cut into his frantic rambling, “it’s fine. I would’ve rather had it be you than anyone else.”
Your friend’s face flushed momentarily before his bushy eyebrows furrowed in confusion and concern. “Wait, what about ‘Kaashi? I thought he was supposed to walk you home?”
You appreciated his genuine tone, but couldn’t help but feel your mood damper at the mention of the dark-haired man. “Yeah, but… he was kind of busy. So I just went home alone.”
It was quiet, and Bokuto was about to say something before you cut in to clarify. “But it’s fine! I told him I was leaving, and I was okay with going alone. I can handle myself. I promise.”
That did nothing to change the worried expression on Bokuto’s face. His eyebrows remained furrowed as his irises flitted from your face down to your hand. Slowly, so as to give you a chance to pull away, his hand reached for your own and you let his fingers lace with yours.
“Hey,” his tone was soft, now, a contrast from his exuberant mood before. “Are you okay?”
The question was vague--but you knew what he meant. Bokuto was not dumb, no matter how many people thought otherwise. You figured he knew about your feelings for Akaashi despite you trying to keep it under wraps. He noticed the small glances you sent in the direction of your best friend, the soft expression that came over your features whenever he talked to you, and the stories about him that you’d absentmindedly tell in the middle of a conversation.
You didn’t want to look Bokuto in the eyes, afraid that if you did, you’d end up a sobbing mess in the middle the Target snack aisle. That’d be humiliating. Even more so than it was to be abandoned by your ‘best friend’ at a party and left to fend for yourself. (That was harsh. But you did have a right to be a little bit bitter.)
“I’m fine.” You responded. “Just a little tired.”
He gave you a soft and comforting smile, and you reciprocated the gentle squeeze of your hand that he gave you. “Let’s get some snacks, and then we can go to my apartment and hang out. Or yours. Or we don’t have to hang out, at all. It’s up to you!”
Ah. There he was again. Considerate and caring as always. Your dampened mood softened a little bit and you mustered up the strength to direct a smile and nod in his direction.
True to his word, he let you pick out whatever snacks and drinks you wanted (though you picked a few of his favorites out of guilt, which he definitely noticed and gave a sardonic chuckle at). He paid for them, which you objected to very strongly and paid him back through Venmo (leading to a back-and-forth transfer of money before you got paranoid that your accounts would be suspended for suspicious activity) before making your way back to your apartment.
You always had a stack of his and Akaashi’s clothes at your house for nights like these where you all went out, got tired, and had to crash at one of your places. Passing his clothes to him, you let him take the bathroom and shower while you set up an array of snacks on your living room table and set your phone up to charge behind the couch.
An hour into a rewatch of your favorite comfort series, Bokuto’s phone buzzed rhythmically in his pocket, signaling an incoming call. He looked at the contact name and his eyebrow creased momentarily. “It’s Akaashi.” Your curiosity peaked at the name as he answered the phone, volume set loud enough that you could catch whatever the opposite end was saying.
“Hello?”
“Bokuto,” Akaashi’s voice was almost frantic on the other line, and concern immediately flashed through both yours and Bokuto’s features. “Do you know where [Name] went?”
Seriously? Was he joking? It’d been nearly two hours since you told him you were leaving. You were half asleep, and he was wondering where you were?
“She’s with me,” Boktuo responded. “Why? What’s wrong?”
“She disappeared,” Akaashi responded, voice a little relieved at the new awareness of your whereabouts. “I tried finding her so we could walk home but she wasn’t there and no one saw her. And I texted her a bunch of times and called her, and she didn't respond, and I was getting really worried that something happened.”
Texting? Calling? At first you were confused and doubtful of his words, but then remembered that your phone wasn’t near you right now and you’d set it on silent to charge. Bokuto’s expression mirrored the mild annoyance he felt at Akaashi’s obliviousness to the situation. “Her phone’s on silent and charging right now. But, dude, she left two hours ago. She said she asked you to leave and you were busy. She was going to walk alone but I left with her so that nothing happened. Do you seriously not remember her asking you?”
Akaashi exhaled after a pause in the conversation, and your stomach turned in anxiety. “Well, yeah, I remember. But I thought she was going to wait for me to leave so that we’d still walk back together.”
You felt the need to explain the situation personally to the black-haired male before any further confusion resulted in the three of you. Mouthing “speaker” to Bokuto, the man obliged to your request and set the call up so you could hear Akaashi clearer and speak to him, too.
“Akaashi,” you started. “I asked if we could leave and you misunderstood and said that you’d be fine going home alone. You looked busy with the girls so I didn’t want to bother you anymore. I left alone.”
The line was quiet before Akaashi’s voice spoke up, beginning to sound a bit shaky from both the confusion and the alcohol. “[Name], I didn’t… I didn't mean to leave you alone. I’m so sorry. God, I’m so sorry, that was stupid.”
Your heart swelled at his apology, as much as you tried to fight the simmering feelings beneath your skin. Though, you still couldn’t help but feel annoyed at how he’d let you leave alone only to claim he misunderstood your words (even though you were sure you were clear enough) and give you an apology over the phone.
“It’s okay, but… it’s just that you promised to stick together but you almost immediately split up with me the minute we walked through the door. I would’ve been fine with that as long as you at least told me you were leaving me or that I should find someone else to take me home. I could’ve done that with a decent time of notice, you know?” Feelings and words rushed out in the haze of your tipsy exhaustion, and from your peripheral vision you caught Bokuto’s concerned gaze as your words trailed off.
“I know, I know and I’m so sorry. I won’t do it again.” Akaashi said, genuine guilt threaded through his words. “Can I come over? That way we can-- we can still spend time together for tonight. And I can sleep over and make you breakfast in the morning--those crepes you really like.” His words were frantic, and you really did feel bad for being frustrated with him in the first place. Maybe it was the haze of the alcohol that made him so dismissive of you in the first place--or that could be what caused his sudden guilt for his actions. Regardless, you thought that keeping him at your place wasn’t the smartest idea, especially with how late it was becoming.
Bokuto seemed to have taken your silence as hesitation, and was about to respond for you before you spoke up again.
“Thanks, Akaashi. But I don’t think that’s the best idea right now. It’s late, and you should get home soon. I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye.” Before he could interrupt with another plead, you let the pad of your finger press firmly against the red button on Bokuto’s phone screen, ending the call and leaving you in the silent living room, the fuzzy drone of the television remaining in the background.
“Are you okay?” Bokuto seemed to be checking up on you quite a lot tonight. As much as you appreciated it, you really were not in the best state of mind to have a heartfelt conversation about your unrequited feelings for Akaashi Keiji. It was nearing three in the morning, and you wanted nothing more than to pass out on the couch and leave your responsibilities for past daybreak.
“I’m really tired, Bo.” Your exhausted really did show in your voice. “I think I’m going to bed.”
He gave a gentle smile, letting you stand up from the couch and brush down your clothes. “Okay. I’ll stay on the couch, but, uh, do you have a blanket I can borrow for the night?” His smile turned sheepish at the request but you just shook your head and softened your expression.
“It’s fine, my bed is big enough for both of us. You can just sleep there with me.” It’s not like you hadn’t done it before. There were even times where all three of you--Bokuto, Akaashi and you--shared your decently-sized bed for the night and there were little to no qualms with it. Bokuto was hesitant at first, but accepted your offer and followed you to your bedroom where you both huddle under the covers and faced each other on your sides.
Bokuto smiled at you yet again--something he’d been doing a lot that evening as a comforting gesture, and the sight reminded you just how lucky you were to have a friend like him. Thoughts of Akaashi lingered in your mind but were less persistent than before, and as you drifted off to sleep you felt a soft pressure on your forehead and the distant mumble of a
goodnight.