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She woke up panting, the sweat pouring down her back acting as an inconvenient adhesive between her skin and her tunic. Nightmares were a normal occurrence now. When she got enough sleep. Watching Keefe like a surveillance camera tended to occupy most of her energy, even though she tried her hardest to stay strong. Stay strong, stay strong, stay strong. It was ingrained in her head like a mantra, repeating continuously until her heart pumped blood at the same rhythm. Stay strong for Edaline and Grady; don't let them see the cracks in your smile. Stay strong for Fitz; his best friend's life was on the line. Stay strong for Keefe. Because she had messed up too much not to. Stay strong, stay strong, stay strong.
What a fucking joke.
Just because she was the Moonlark, the weight of the situation slammed down onto her shoulders. If something happened, it was her fault. She should have pulled him away. Trusting any dwarf other than Nubiti had played a sick joke on her. Trusting anybody other than Keefe played a monumental joke on her, now that she had time to think about it.
It seemed the universe was just keen to play jokes on her. Now that Keefe, the one who dished out jokes like Sophie discarded eyelashes, was practically unconscious, all of these jokes weren't funny anymore. Nothing was funny anymore. Biana, Dex, and Edaline visited once every three days. Edaline was there to make her sleep. Biana was there to make her look like she hadn't been living with hobos, and Dex was there with newly downloaded music on her iPod. Both Biana and Dex came by with schoolwork.
And then there was Fitz. She was so glad they had decided to remain friends. If that's what their relationship could be called now. They took turns every week, trading places in the Healing Center to watch over Keefe's seemingly sleeping form. Fitz stayed shorter than she did. But it wasn't like Keefe could tell who was watching him; whenever she tried contacting Keefe, all she found was a blank expanse of space. Nothingness. It scared her more than shattered minds. Even going through Dimintar's brain would be preferable.
She wished he would open his eyes. She wished there was some magical way to make him wake up, so she could slap him across his stupidly handsome face before he had time to make a joke. Jokes weren't funny anymore. She wanted so badly to be able to wrinkle her nose at his lame jests, to be able to laugh at his teasing, to just talk to him about anything and everything. She wanted an explanation worthy of her time. She was so angry. He left without her permission. If her boiling emotions didn't bring him back to reality, she didn't know what would. He had promised. By breaking that promise, he had given her sanity and his life guarantee to his mother. On a fucking silver platter.
If Sophie ever got her hands on Lady Gisela. . . blood would be shed. And Sophie wouldn't even be guilty. A hand on her shoulder startled her from her thoughts before Sophie mustered the courage to track down Keefe's mother down herself. She turned around and her gaze met a set of teal eyes.
"Hey." Fitz's voice was soft. Why did he feel the need to whisper? It wasn't like Keefe was on his deathbed. Because he wasn't.
"Hi," Sophie responded in a slightly louder voice.
"Your mother wanted me to tell you that she was ready to discuss something with you, but she didn't tell me what it was." His accented voice wasn't raised above a faint whisper. Sophie felt like screaming. She wanted to scream until she couldn't anymore. She wanted to scream until the humans on the other side of the fucking world heard her. "Sophie?" Again with that infuriatingly calm voice of his.
She waved her hand in the air as if to clear it. "Edaline knows I get to sleep once in a while. And she's welcome to hail me anytime; I took a shower earlier while Elwin checked Keefe's vitals." She shrugged. Who was Sophie kidding; nothing about their current situation was unimportant enough to shrug away.
"That's not who I was referring to." Fitz looked a bit sheepish. Sophie's head whipped around so fast she was surprised her forehead didn't collide with the bedpost.
"What the actual hell, Fitz," she seethed. "I told you nobody was supposed to know. You could at least shut your mouth about it when there are others present." Her chest was heaving, and she barely noticed her voice level rising. Good. She was so done with all of the badgerings for information on her parents. "And kindly inform Councillor Oralie that I agreed to meet with her on Thursday and do not plan on changing the date." If there was something urgent her birth mother had to tell her, she would walk into the Healing Center herself.
"That's the thing, Sophie. Today is Thursday." Sophie was still filled with gall at the nerve he had, but got up and straightened her wrinkled tunic. "I'll go see her, then. Don't expect me back too soon."
With that said, she walked away, her boots clicking down the hall.