Chapter Text
Birkin stared at the green, furry thing currently taking up a corner of the already full refrigerator. With a frustrated grunt he shut the door and marched to their shitty kitchen-turned-break room where Wesker was reclined on a rickety chair, a book in hand and his feet resting on the broken chair no one used.
“Wesker!”
He glanced up from his book, “Dear heart?”
Birkin winced at the stupid pet name. “If you have to use the lab fridge for your lunch, at least take it out if you’re not gonna eat it!”
Wesker arched a brow and set his book down on the table next to his shades. “I don’t keep my lunch in the lab fridge. I eat upstairs, you know that.”
“Then who’s furry Thai food is…” he trailed off, then dropped his head in his hand, “Oh my god, that’s your fucking Thai leftovers from college, isn’t it?”
“Moldred.”
“You named it? Why the hell do you even still have that!?”
“It’s my experiment—”
“We know what happens when food gets moldy, Wesker!”
“—to try and get it advanced enough to speak.”
Birkin glared. He could only hope Wesker was messing with him, but he’d also known the other man long enough to be aware that, while Wesker’s intellect was top notch and his genius almost matched with Birkin’s own, he had moments of absolute batshittery.
“Get it out of the fridge and throw it away.”
Wesker sighed and turned his head, wistful and sorrowful, “How could you be so callous of our own child?”
“Oh no, don’t drag me into your bullshit!”
“You are as responsible for Moldred’s development as I am. Remember your childish attempts to annoy me by putting your smelly socks under my bed?”
“No…” Birkin gasped in horror.
“Yes!” Wesker sat forward, a gleam of excitement in his pale eyes, “I kept her under there, and your foul laundry nurtured her in a way I never could! She is ours, Birkin, yours and mine! I suggest you ensure her survival,” he practically growled, picking up his book again and returning to it, conversation over.
Birkin gaped, but in the end could only shake his head as he went back to the labs, making a mental note to suggest to Marcus that Wesker might need some time off.