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The paladins all stared in glee at the sig in front of them. They had just finished a group morning run and showered. Ready for lunch. And they were all happy to see the newest addition to the mess hall line up.
“Humans only, poison to all other races.” Lance read aloud.
It stood in front of a separate line that had only human staff. All other cooks gave disdained glances and kept a wide birth of it.
“What even is that for?” Hunk asked.
“Well, obviously food that is safe for human consumption but poisonous to all other races on the Atlas,” Pidge stated.
“What type of food would that be?” Lance asked.
Keith chimed in, “Galra are not able to eat capsaicin, caffeine, and some other chemicals. Ulaz was dumbfounded when he found out I could ingest most with little to no side effects.”
Shiro’s eyes went wide with glee. “Caffeine? That I don’t have to keep hidden in my apartment?”
Keith chuckled. “Yeah, there were a lot of people going bug-eyed when they saw you drinking a type of poison to most species.”
Lance looked on in glee, “So this line has spicy stuff too? That’s what capsaicin is right?”
Pidge rolled her eyes as she started heading towards the line, “Yes, Lance, that’s what capsaicin is.”
Lance rushed forward with Keith right next to him. “Man have I missed spicy food,” Keith comments with a groan. “I can’t get any of my pack to even think about getting me something spicy.”
Lance looked over at him, “you a chili head too?”
Keith cocked a smile. “Would regularly have a chili pepper eating contest with my pa. I always won.”
Lance grinned wide, “Oh it is so on!”
The two laded their trays with large plates of the hottest wings they could find. Though Hunk had got a separate tray loaded with veggies and ranch, milk, Kakara, and rice. All this for when the two idiots needed relief. Pidge just grabbed her food and pulled out her phone. This video would be awesome.
Keith and Lance sat on opposite sides of a table at their normal spot. The pack saw them and joined their group taking seats next to Keith, Krex looked at the wings and wanted to try some too. He noticed they were from the off-limits section and didn’t know why his Sara wouldn’t let him. He reached his hand near the plate. His hand was suddenly whacked hard by Keith and he gave a warning growl at him. Krex flinched back with a chirp of surprise.
Keith’s glare softened at Krex’s expression, “it’s not safe for you to eat. It’s poison to most. But me being human makes it is something I can eat. So no, you can’t have even a taste. It can seriously hurt you.”
Keith was about to start digging into the hot wings when he suddenly felt a grip on his neck and he was scuffed and hoisted up into the air.
“You were about to eat poison!!” Jezeev turned to Krolia thrusting Keith in her direction. “You told me your youngest would know basic things and yet he just tried to eat poison!”
The paladins all chuckled around him as Keith fruitlessly whined in his aunt’s hold, unable to say anything due to the pressure on his throat.
Keith stared pitifully at his parents.
Akira stepped forwards a bit, “It’s perfectly fine for Keith to eat that sort of thing. Humans have little to know problems eating spicy stuff. In fact, I got some myself.”
Krolia joined her mate, “And while I don’t agree with it, Keith is mature enough to choose his own food. So please release my kit.”
Jezeev relented and released Keith, who growled lightly in annoyance and retook his seat. Akira sat right next to Keith, and Krolia joined them. The rest of their pack sat next to Krolia all eyeing Keith and the poisoned food.
Keith just grinned as he looked at Jezeev and bit down into the hot wing. Lance then hurriedly joined in and soon both of them were moaning from the long missed taste. Akira and the other humans around them chuckled as they turned to their own meals.
The two young men quickly plowed through their wings and soon had empty plates. It was a tie. Now both of them just sat in their seats staring at their drinks waiting to see who would cave first.
Krolia leaned over to Akira, “What are they doing now?”
“Waiting to see who caves first.”
“How?” she asks.
“The ranch, rice, and milk, and possibly Kakara, though I don’t think they are 100% certain in that, act as a neutralizer to the pain response on the tongue. They are both waiting to see who will reach for one of the things first. The person that does, loses.”
“Ah… they are both idiots. But I understand.” She said as she watched her mate reach for his own glass of milk, “As are you.”
“What can I say,” Akira said with a cocky smile, “I love things with a bit of a kick. Like you.” he went in to kiss her on the cheek but she quickly leaned away from him.
“Not when you have poison still on your face please.” She admonished him. Akira chuckled and whipped his face with a wet napkin, finally meeting her approval she kissed him. “And thank you.”
The black and red paladins stared each other down. They had both finished their wings at the same exact time. And the heat was now building in their mouths. Keith really wanted to see if the Kakara would actually neutralize the effects of capsaicin, but not before Lance.
“Aren’t you thirsty at all, Lance? You did eat a lot.” Keith said coolly.
“You look a bit parched yourself, Keith.” Lance gestured to Keith’s glass.
Keith could see the condensation trailing down his glass. The burning really started to affect him as he watched the water slid down. He looked over at Lance. The guy didn’t even have a drop of sweat on him.
‘Crap! it’s too much now!” Keith shouted lunging for his drink. Lance just smirked as he leaned back in his chair content.
“Can’t handle the heat? Can ya?” Keith swallowed a big gulp of Kakara, and with a long sigh, he just glares at Lance.
“Next time, it will be you. I know a good chili recipe, and I bet you won’t even be able to finish one spoonful.” Keith gloated.
“Uh-huh?” Lance questioned bemused as he leaned back further in his chair.
Pidge jab him with her elbow, “Okay, how about we save that for another day.”
With her nudge, she pushed Lance farther back and he toppled over. With a yelp of surprise, Lance crashed to the ground. The rest of the paladins laughed as Lance got back up.
“You are so on Samurai.” Lance grinned as he held out his hand.
“You will regret it, sharpshooter.” Keith grinned back as he at some of the rice that Hunk was pushing Keith’s way.
As soon as Lance sat back down, Hunk pushed the veggies to Lance. Hunk knew better than to give a plate full of vegetables to Keith right in front of Ulaz, and he mentally adds Jezeev to that list as well.
Pidge smiles as she takes another sip from her black coffee, and Shiro does the same, but eyeing her, “Do you think you should be drinking coffee this late in the afternoon Pidge?”
She looked at his cup and then at him and returned to her own mug saying, “Pot meet kettle.”
Shiro just rolled his eyes and admitted defeat on that one.
“Why would that drink be bad for her so late in the day?” Jezeev asked concerned.
“It’s coffee and has a lot of caffeine in it, most humans drink it to keep themselves up past there preferred sleep cycle,” Shiro explained.
“And some get highly addicted to it, like Pidge and Shiro” Keith adds.
That earned him a glare from both of them. Though Krolia and the rest of Keith’s pack were glaring at him.
“Please tell me you do not regularly drink this. That chemical is known to cause intents dehydration in Galra. And can even act as a very potent diuretic. If consumed over long periods of time it will destroy many of our internal organs as well” Ulaz explains concerned.
Keith innocently does not make eye contact with anyone of his pack members. “I only drink one small cup in the morning”
Pidge laughing. “Yeah right! I saw you one time growling over a giant mug of the shit one morning and Shiro told me it was your second cup of the day.”
Ulaz and Krolia growled at him for trying to lie. Keith just glared at Pidge.
Akira was the only one willing to step into this battle, “While I think that it might be a bit too much for him, he has already shown that his body functions more or less like a human, and has not shown any repercussions yet, so it is likely there is no chance he would show any now.”
“I would still prefer if you stop drinking that poison Keith” Ulaz tells him.
“Not stopping, I’m too far gone to stop without any pain.” Keith comment.
“What do you mean?” Krolia asks worriedly.
Akira and the other humans just chuckle, “It is an addictive substance for humans and we can get withdrawal symptoms pretty easily if we go without it for too long. It usually presents as a massive headache”
“What!” all the adults of the Pack shout.
Keith just bangs his head on the table as the others laugh.
He hoped that he can talk his Pack into still allowing him to drink Coffee, he does not want to go back to sneaking around with it. He at least knew not to drink it outside of Adam and Shiro’s Apartment