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As the physician’s apprentice, Merlin had acquired some knowledge of how the human body worked. Some very useful things, such as what parts of the body can get away with being stabbed and what parts can’t, or how to splint a broken limb or even which remedies to prescribe for certain diseases.
To a dim extent, he even knew how some of the brain worked. He wasn’t sure where he’d read it, but he was aware that when a person is faced with a stressful situation, they do one of three things.
Fight, flight, or freeze…
…and somehow, Merlin felt as if he was doing all three at once.
***
Merlin felt the golden light fade from his eyes as he looked to Arthur, who was standing mere meters away from him. He didn’t even have to look at the King to feel the expression on his face.
No sooner had he looked to the other man; Merlin had frozen on the spot. It was as if the world had stopped at their feet and that he and Arthur were the only two people standing in it.
Arthur’s crystal blue eyes morphed from confusion into shock by the seconds as he realised what he’d just seen. The man that was about to run him through had been blasted several feet away, killing him instantly. But it wasn’t Arthur who had dealt the blow.
It was Merlin. With no sword, no physical weapon of any kind.
With magic.
Had his adrenaline not been sky high, Arthur thought he might’ve succumbed to the shock and collapsed. Instead, he watched Merlin’s…no…the sorcerer’s breath become dangerously fast for his body.
“You have magic…” he whispered, unsure if it was to himself or both of them. Arthur could feel a million different emotions writhing in his chest at his own words.
Merlin, on the other hand, was feeling a million more.
At Arthur’s words, Merlin felt his fighting instinct rise within him. He wasn’t sure why as he had no intentions that involved attacking Arthur. He supposed it was the adrenaline mixing with the worry he was feeling.
Or it could’ve been the fact that Merlin would’ve done anything to fight this moment away, to turn back time and change what he did only seconds ago.
Something invisible then started tugging at his legs which were still cemented in place, and Arthur very quickly realised that he wouldn’t have time to decipher what emotions he was feeling.
Because his manservant had turned away from him and had started running, fast. But not before Arthur saw tears form in Merlin’s eyes and a voiceless whisper escape from his lips.
In a heartbeat, Arthur dropped his heavy sword and ran after the other man. Despite his conflicted emotions, Arthur just couldn’t let Merlin…go. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t.
He had to talk to him, understand what the hell he just saw. Make sense of it…
…he had to talk to Merlin.
***
Merlin ran as fast as his legs could take him through the forest, knowing damn well that Arthur was pursuing him from behind. His breath heightened with every fallen branch he encountered as he tried not to fall over them.
In his run through the forest, he didn’t look back. Not once did he look back. If he did, he knew he’d see Arthur’s face.
Arthur’s face that he had no doubt would be angry and confused, and Merlin couldn’t bear to see that. He tried to ignore the shouting of his name that was coming from his King, yelling for him to stop running or to wait.
Merlin felt more tears rush to his eyes. He didn’t want it to happen like this, not when he’d used his magic so violently. That’s exactly the image that Uther had shoved upon Arthur from an early age, that magic was evil and was used only for malicious purposes.
In his head, Merlin knew that one day Arthur would find out. He had visions of him telling the King peacefully, likely when the two were alone.
But of course, things had never always gone Merlin’s way. Now, he found himself disobeying the King’s orders for him to stop running.
He only hoped that Arthur would see that this was for his own benefit, so that he wouldn’t have to make a decision Merlin knew would be hard for him.
If he ran away, Arthur wouldn’t have to make that decision.
He didn’t think for a second that Arthur just wanted to talk to him and not drag him back to Camelot under arrest.
***
In his pursuit of Merlin, Arthur tried reasoning, or some may say pleading with him to stop.
He followed Merlin’s exact path through the forest and heard himself screaming “Merlin, wait!” or “Merlin, stop!” or sometimes he’d just shout his manservant’s name to no avail.
He realised very quickly that Merlin was probably scared of what he would do to him. There was no other way to describe how this felt to Arthur other than that it broke his heart.
Merlin was scared of him; it was an almost unbearable thought in Arthur’s mind that was already racing from the revelation.
In all their time together, this was never how Arthur had wanted Merlin to feel in his presence. He knew that some visiting nobles had servants that downright feared their masters, and quite honestly it disgusted Arthur. He never wanted Merlin to feel this way and now Arthur was convinced that he was.
Did Merlin really think that he was going to hang him? To burn him at the stake? Arthur tried to shake the possibilities away and concentrate on his pursuit of Merlin.
In the midst of it, as the pair were unknowingly approaching the end of the forest, Arthur swore he could hear his father’s voice asking him why he was doing this.
“Why are you going after him, other than to lock him away and kill him like he deserves? The boy is a sorcerer and a servant no less.” Uther’s words stung Arthur’s ears as he ran further after Merlin. For a second, Arthur considered why he was doing this. Why, of all people, was he chasing after Merlin, who had just revealed himself as a sorcerer, through a muddy forest when the man was clearly trying to get away?
It took less than a second for Arthur to realise why.
It was because it was Merlin. The person who had stood by him through thick and thin, seen Arthur’s good and bad side and made Arthur embrace his true self on the daily, he was one of the only people that could do that. Until he could talk to him, which would hopefully be soon, Arthur quite frankly didn’t care that he had magic.
He only wished that he would stop running away from him, as it was breaking Arthur more than he would ever admit.
And if Uther were there, Arthur would tell him to rightly piss off. His father’s narrowminded beliefs on magic and execution were nowhere near as important to him as Merlin was and he intended for him to know that.
That is, if Merlin would stop damn running for a second.
***
Up ahead, Merlin could see a lake that settled just outside of the forest. It had a small, unoccupied island in the middle with several trees that looked as if they had grown untouched by anyone. The raven-haired man set his sights on it as a place where he could get away from Arthur, as awful as that sounded to him.
Merlin always knew that realistically, his magic would probably be revealed by the way of him saving Arthur or someone else from danger, with Arthur just so happening to witness it. It was very true to himself, as his friend’s safety always came first.
When it came to Arthur’s safety, there was no question. Arthur was still catching his breath from fighting another man when the bandit lunged at him from behind, forcing Merlin to reveal his power to save his King.
Merlin would’ve done anything to protect Arthur, even if it meant putting himself at risk.
In Merlin’s head, that’s exactly what he was doing now, protecting Arthur. The storm of thoughts inside the young man’s head were flooding him with the idea that this was the right thing to do, that this would absolutely protect Arthur and save his feelings of betrayal that Merlin didn’t doubt were writhing within him. The thoughts became so deafening that Merlin could no longer hear his King shouting for him to stop running. He thought that perhaps Arthur had ceased following him but didn’t dare to turn around and look in case it wasn’t true.
The last thing he wanted was to see the look of hurt and betrayal in Arthur’s eyes, which were normally so filled with so much warmth when he looked at him.
The lake came further and further into view for both men. Arthur saw it from his distance behind Merlin and felt some relief rush through his veins. He knew that Merlin would have nowhere to go once they reached the lake, maybe then he’d listen to him. Even so, he picked up the pace after the other man.
Merlin, who was now entirely convinced that Arthur was no longer following him, had other plans. Arthur could easily send out knights to look for him once he returned to Camelot, meaning Merlin had to make sure he was well hidden, or at least hard to get to in his mind’s clouded way of protecting Arthur.
Merlin was of course the first to exit the forest and to Arthur’s surprise, he kept running, further and further towards the lakeside. That didn’t stop the royal from running after him as he finally exited the forest.
Arthur decided to give another go at attempting to reason with Merlin before he plunged himself into the lake, which is what Merlin looked like he was going to do. And if this didn’t work, Arthur mentally prepared himself for the feeling of cold water on his skin when he ultimately swam after Merlin.
“Merlin, you dollophead! Please stop run…” Arthur would never finish his sentence on the count that his mouth had suddenly become stuck open.
It was like nothing that Arthur had ever seen before, not even in his wildest dreams had he ever seen something so…mesmerizing.
Arthur watched as the lake’s water had been split perfectly down the middle with a monstrous noise ripping through the liquid as each watery side became taller, almost as tall as the trees behind him. The contents of the lake did not falter save for a few drops that fell to the ground near his feet.
A path that was made entirely out of the lakebed pierced through the middle of the sight, leading directly to the small island at the lake’s centre. Rotted and discarded weapons and boat parts were scattered along the path that looked as if they had been there years were unearthed by this godly feat of magic.
Arthur froze the moment he’d heard the roar of the water, his battle instincts telling him to stop and assess the situation. And yet, he was doing more admiring than assessing.
Sometimes, the water swirled in patterns or made a sort of tinkling sound, very akin to magic practice. Every part of it captivated Arthur as his jaw still hung loose at the scene. He felt his heart skip one or maybe even two beats. He looked away from the towers of water and saw the instigator of this phenomenally beautiful use of magic.
There, at the start of the lakebed path, stood Merlin, holding his arms out sideways in a way that spoke volumes of power, like he was commanding the water to do his bidding. Merlin, his clumsy manservant, stood at the centre, was responsible for this brilliant sight.
That added one other thought to Arthur’s already flooded mind.
Merlin was clearly no ordinary sorcerer.
Then again, Merlin was never an ordinary anything.
Something sentimental became triggered inside Merlin at Arthur calling him a ‘dollophead’ as he slowly turned on the spot to face his King. He silently cursed himself for being so attached to that word, his word. The word that he referred to Arthur as on the daily, unlike any other servant and their master.
When Merlin turned to see his, he didn’t see the looming betrayal in the blue eyes he’d expected. Instead, he saw amazement flurry through each one, and shock, of course. The shock was always going to be there no matter how his magic was revealed.
And yet, there was an element to Arthur’s face in that moment that kept Merlin there, staring at him. Had it been full of the betrayal and hurt he’d predicted; the young warlock would’ve dashed through the lake already and made sure that Arthur couldn’t follow. But Merlin’s feet remained in their place as he continued to face his bewildered King.
Arthur watched with his mouth still open as Merlin turned and faced him. The raven-haired man’s eyes were glowing a bright gold that Arthur’s had to come attribute with sorcerers. What surprised Arthur more was how Merlin had lowered his arms, but not fully relaxed them. He thought that the spell was being held up quite literally by Merlin and now it seemed he wasn’t even putting in much effort to keep it up. Arthur knew he would’ve crumbled by now had it been him doing the spell, but Merlin hadn’t yet faltered, much like the water above them. It was an astonishing spectacle that clarified to Arthur that Merlin was definitely not your run of the mill sorcerer.
It was Merlin’s face that broke Arthur’s heart the most. He’d never seen a single face bear so much confusion, fear and uncertainty in one expression.
What Arthur tried not to think about was how easily he could get lost in Merlin’s fiery golden eyes and how they seemed to burn brighter than the sun above them.
Arthur regained his focus on getting Merlin to damn listen to him and, finally, broke the stunned silence the two men were sharing.
He looked Merlin in the eyes, hoping to God he could see the desperation he had in his. “Merlin…”
“Don’t, Arthur,” interrupted Merlin unexpectedly. Arthur listened anyway, somewhat relieved that he was talking to him at last. “I can’t…I need to go…” his voice sounded frightened, and Arthur didn’t like that one bit.
“No! Please, don’t go,” Arthur didn’t realise how much he was pleading. He took a deep breath before continuing. “Merlin, I just want to talk to you, I promise.” he said, holding his arms out to try and reassure the clearly distressed Merlin.
Merlin didn’t answer, instead his heavy breathing was all that escaped his mouth.
“I’m not going to hurt you; you don’t have to be scared of me…”
Suddenly, Merlin found his voice again. “I’m not scared of you!” he shouted, far louder than he’d intended. It shook Arthur to his core at that sheer definitiveness in Merlin’s statement. He was about to inquire what he meant by that but his question was quickly answered.
“I’m…I’m scared for you…I don’t want to hurt you, Arthur…”
Arthur froze, that really wasn’t what he’d expected Merlin to say. However, the royal knew that there was no point trying to ask Merlin what he meant by that in his current state, so, he made a mental note to ask about it whenever the hell he got a chance.
Merlin backed up towards the lake. “I have to go…I’m sorry…”
The raven-haired man’s slight movement towards the lake was enough to move Arthur to take more extreme measures. He stepped forward and spoke to Merlin in his own voice and not that of the King’s.
It was purely Arthur speaking.
“Merlin, if you go through that lake, I’m going to run straight after you, we both know that,” exclaimed Arthur, pausing for only a second to catch his breath. “And I’m not going to stop until you do,”
The warlock’s stare on Arthur remained unbroken as he tried to process his words.
“So, please, make this easier for the both of us, and stay,” Arthur stretched his arm and held a gloved hand out, hoping it would show Merlin that what he was saying was the truth. “I know you won’t hurt me, Merlin.” he added, hand steady for the other man to grab.
Merlin simply stood there, his breath reaching unimaginable speeds. If he kept this up, he would pass out. He tried to control it but couldn’t stop thinking about what Arthur had said seconds ago which only quickened his breathing more.
A wave of exhaustion suddenly washed over Merlin as he felt his eyes tightly shut and his arms fall to his sides. Stumbling forward, he could hear the parted lake tearing through the air as it started to crash back down, Merlin’s hold over it had been broken. He held one hand on his head to try and numb the pain he was feeling and let out an unintentional groan as he did so.
Arthur watched all of this unfold and didn’t hesitate in his actions.
“Move!” he shouted, running in his manservant’s direction. Arthur was convinced that Merlin was unaware of the giant bodies of water that were about to collide behind him and so when he was within reach, placed a firm hand on his shoulder and yanked him backwards to safety. The result was himself closer to the danger than Merlin but he didn’t care.
At the jerking feeling on his shoulder, Merlin found his senses and felt himself being pulled away from the lake. He and Arthur watched as the colossal walls of water fell into each other with a mighty roar, blending together and reforming the lake after a few seconds.
And that’s when Merlin snapped back into ‘Merlin’ mode.
He stood upright despite his body screaming for him to sit down and looked at Arthur. “Are you alright!?” he asked in a clearly panicked voice.
Arthur took a second to catch his breath and then stared directly at Merlin. “Am I alright? What about you!?” Arthur asked, returning Merlin’s own question to him.
Merlin sighed in relief as he came to realise that the crashing water hadn’t harmed Arthur. The sigh soon transformed back into his tired breaths, the feat of magic he’d performed, despite appearing seemingly effortless had honestly taken all of Merlin’s strength. Combined with his high emotions, it was no surprise that the man had little energy left, so continuing running wasn’t really an option.
Even the great Emrys could overdo it.
After a few seconds, he finally answered Arthur’s question. “Yeah, I’m fine…” Merlin said as he distanced himself slightly from the King. For a split-second, Arthur feared that Merlin would run again but quickly spotted the tired features on his manservant’s face and determined that he was too exhausted to run again.
“…I…I need to sit down...” stated Merlin wearily, still unsure of how to act in front of Arthur now that he knew.
Arthur felt another wave of relief flow through him, though tried not to show it. “Go ahead,” he replied. “I’ll join you.”
***
Moments later, the pair were sat on some nearby rocks. They weren’t the comfiest, but neither men were thinking about physical comfort at that point.
It seemed that each side of the same coin only had one thing in mind.
Their other side.
Without realising it, Arthur was staring at Merlin. He was sat not far from him, head down and catching his breath. Like any normal man would do after doing something so intense.
Except, Arthur had determined by now that Merlin was no normal man. He was not even a normal sorcerer for God’s sake. He vowed to get to the bottom of this before leaving the lake, even if it took days for Merlin to talk to him.
He vowed to unlock the mystery that was his manservant. The same manservant that he prayed would still be his friend after this.
“Do you need any water?” Arthur asked.
“No, but thanks,” replied Merlin in a voice filled with mixed emotions. “I think I’ve seen enough water for today.” he added, trying to joke.
Arthur couldn’t help but smile a little at Merlin’s statement. “Yeah, me too.” was all he responded with; his voice evidently full of as many emotions as Merlin’s.
Merlin then took a noticeably deeper breath than his others as if he was preparing for something. Which, of course, he was.
“You might as well ask your questions, Arthur. I can’t…I won’t go anywhere.”
A silent moment was shared between the two men.
“Right,” stated Arthur, trying to adjust into his ‘King’ voice. He cleared his throat before speaking again and mentally braced himself. “How long?”
Merlin looked up, a little confused. “How long what?”
“How long have you had magic?” clarified Arthur, his voice coming off sterner than he’d intended.
Merlin paused before answering. He knew in his heart that Arthur deserved to know the full truth about who he was…or what he was. The moment to tell him had finally come after all these years of being by Arthur’s side, protecting and advising him at every corner.
He only hoped he’d understand why he did what he did. And that he wouldn’t freak out or anything.
The raven-haired man looked at Arthur. “Since I was born.” he answered, his voice forthright.
Arthur blinked in confusion, which ultimately broke his sternly ‘King’ voice. “What? That’s…not possible…”
Merlin stepped in. “Believe me, it is.”
“You’ve had it since you were born?” Arthur asked, greatly intrigued.
“Yes,” Merlin solidly stated. “You can ask my mother; I was moving things with my eyes before I could walk.”
Arthur felt himself bite back on an astonished sound as he was trying to come across as in control as possible. But with the little truth he’d found out so far about Merlin, he was already amazed. Instead, he nodded in acknowledgment and then pointed out the obvious.
“I gather you’re no regular sorcerer then, considering what you just did.” he stated.
The younger man looked to the floor. “That’s because I’m not a sorcerer.” Merlin said truthfully.
Arthur felt his features crease into confusion once more. “What do you mean?” he asked the other man, not realising that he was leaning further forward.
Merlin hesitated for a second and set free the breath he didn’t know he was holding. “I’m a warlock.”
A tight string coiled itself around Arthur’s heart at the word. No bloody wonder Merlin had split a lake in half earlier, he was a warlock.
Merlin, his clumsy, idiotic and awkward manservant – a warlock. Arthur could feel his head spinning again but shook it off. That must’ve been connected to Merlin being born with magic and why he could make things move by themselves before walking or even talking. He briefly thought to Hunith and how much of a nightmare it must’ve been to raise her son. It was clearer to Arthur now that Merlin was more than he expected in the whole magic sense and he was sure that the revelations were far from over.
“I’ve never heard of anything like this.” Arthur uttered in response, still coming around from his thoughts.
Merlin looked up. “Hmm?”
“Anything…anyone like you, to be born with magic…” Arthur could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he spoke. He looked to the lake in front of them. “…I can’t imagine what that’s like.”
“I wouldn’t know life any differently, I’ve been like this forever.” responded Merlin, the confidence in his voice was returning. He could feel his energy returning to him as well.
Merlin’s statement resided within Arthur for a few moments while he stared out to the lake. Amongst the many things that the King wasn’t understanding at that moment, two things were especially bugging him.
Both of which were a question of why.
He turned back to Merlin. “Tell me,” he began, not too forcefully. “Why you?” once the words left Arthur’s mouth, he realised how rude it sounded. It didn’t help that Merlin’s face fell slightly too. “Sorry, I didn’t mean…”
“It’s okay, I know what you meant,” Merlin interjected. The warlock had been living under Kilgharrah’s guidance for so long now that he’d become accustomed to double meanings in people’s words.
As Merlin began to speak, Arthur listened very closely as if he was a child being told a folklore. “I don’t even know how to describe why I am the way that I am…even I don’t fully understand it yet.”
“Please, Merlin, I need to know.” said Arthur, and Merlin could see a shred of desperation in his eyes. The warlock took a deep breath.
“I guess you could say there are legends that speak of me, the Druids even call me ‘Emrys’,” he paused the revelation before continuing, not realising how difficult it was to speak of his own legend. “Some say that I’m like no other magical being on Earth.”
Arthur sat there for what seemed like a minute, processing everything the best he could. He was having a harder time than he’d predicted.
“How so?” was all he managed to say. Which was lucky as his hanging jaw wouldn’t allow for much else.
“Because…I am magic itself. Magic is me; it flows through every fibre of my being like blood flows through you.” the surety that reigned in Merlin’s voice was exhilarating. Because this time, it was Merlin saying that he was these things, not that a legend or a prophecy had said so. It was spoken in no tone that Arthur recognised with Merlin and he was left staring at his manservant in an entirely new light.
Little did he know that this was not the part of Merlin’s magic that would shock him the most.
“I’m sorry,” Arthur uttered quietly, turning away from Merlin. “I’m struggling to process this.”
“I get that, so did I when I was first told.” stated Merlin truthfully. Arthur thought that the weight of being the heir to the throne of Camelot was unmatchable but Merlin’s sounded to be in a whole other league. To be what was basically magic incarnate sounded both amazing and like an unimaginable burden, one of which Arthur knew he couldn’t bear.
He was known by a different name, there was legends about him that no doubt went back centuries as most legends did. Merlin was ‘like no other magical being on Earth’ according to the Druids who Arthur knew were wise despite his father’s hatred towards them.
Merlin, who was undoubtedly his best friend and the one person Arthur confided in the most, was all of these things and he hadn’t known. The King was having a hard time fathoming this and again, if it hadn’t been for his adrenaline, he would’ve fainted.
The second question of ‘why’ suddenly appeared in the King’s mind, and Arthur knew that the answer to it had every possibility of leaving him heartbroken but it was something he knew he had to ask. Otherwise, he may never get an undisturbed nights sleep ever again. It was just too important to him.
He was once again found himself turning to face Merlin, who now seemed, in Arthur’s eyes, well out of his league. Only that morning did he look at Merlin as his stupidly idiotic best friend, his goofy smiles and quick wit lighting up Arthur’s life more than he could express.
Now though, a terrifying thought occupied Arthur’s mind that concerned Merlin. And it wasn’t that he feared him…
…it was the fear that Merlin didn’t trust him as much as he trusted Merlin. The fear that their relationship was full of lies and distrust whereas Arthur had always viewed it as exceptional and genuine despite not always showing it.
At that moment, nothing mattered more to Arthur Pendragon than finding out why Merlin hadn’t told him of his magic.
“Merlin…” Arthur uttered, trying not to let on the amount of dread he was feeling. It was as if he’d swallowed a mace and it was laying in the pit of his stomach. “I need to know something…”
Merlin hadn’t dared to get closer to Arthur throughout their whole conversation so far, letting him get as close in as he pleased when he wanted. But now he felt himself lean in a little as he spoke. “Go ahead.” Merlin replied, not entirely sure what else to say.
Arthur made sure to look Merlin directly in the eyes. “Why did you never tell me?”
Merlin’s gaze averted from Arthur at the question and the warlock found himself looking down. This was the question that Merlin was waiting for, it was something that he knew Arthur would ask no matter how his magic was revealed. For the few seconds that he spent gazing at the floor, his next few were spent gazing at Arthur, who was looking ever so lost despite sitting inches away from him. Merlin could feel a small smile tug at the corners of his lips and swore he could feel tears coming to his eyes again.
He shifted himself to be as close as he thought Arthur would be comfortable with, locking eyes with the other man. Merlin spoke as clearly as he could that day.
“Do you remember when I said that I was scared for you?” he began, earning a tiny nod from Arthur. “Well, I meant it. I’m not scared of what you’ll do to me…I deserve it. I’ve lied to you for years,” continued Merlin, noting that Arthur’s face fell at ‘what you’ll do to me’.
He spoke on. “What I didn’t want…and what I am scared of, was for you to feel betrayed, Arthur. I didn’t want that to happen more than anything. It’s my duty and will to protect you, in every sense of the word. That includes putting you in a difficult position.” Merlin stated, his words coming from his heart.
Despite the fact that his brain was going a million miles an hour, Arthur registered the sincerity in Merlin’s voice and felt his heart fill with an emotion he couldn’t describe as he gathered himself to reply.
In the racing mind of the royal, one thought shone through.
“So…you…you were more worried about me than yourself, all this time?” uttered Arthur through his many encompassing thoughts.
Two hearts synced through one beat. “Of course,” he answered, suddenly finding the words to speak. “Someone once told me that it is my duty to protect you, that somehow, our destinies were intertwined and that I was born solely to serve you. And as crazy as I thought it sounded at first, I realised pretty quickly that it was something I wanted to do,” Merlin looked directly into Arthur’s eyes. “You are, and always will be, an extremely worthy King, Arthur. And to me, a worthy friend. I’m proud to say that I was born to serve you. Nothing will ever change that,”
Arthur could sense an overwhelming feeling of admiration and speechlessness at the man next to him. Sure, Merlin had left him speechless many times before but nothing that was quite on this level. His throat was drying up from his mouth being agape for so long that when he tried to speak, he couldn’t find any words to say.
He thought to all the times Merlin could’ve possibly used magic without his knowledge and suddenly, things were starting to make sense. Every time Arthur had survived a battle or a fight that he shouldn’t have, Merlin was there, seemingly doing nothing but secretly doing so much more. Every tree branch that had conveniently fallen onto an enemy: Merlin. Every deadly situation that Arthur had escaped unscathed: Merlin. Hell, Arthur even thought to the awful time that Merlin was captured by bandits after being injured. A rockfall had split the two from each other, blocking off Arthur from the bandits but keeping his manservant well within their filthy grasp.
That was Merlin.
Other events in his life after meeting Merlin all those years ago flashed before Arthur, each little thing that had happened suddenly making more sense than they had ever made. Even when Arthur himself was on the brink of death, he’d survived, and he could only assume that it was Merlin who saved him, like he had done many times before uncredited.
Caught in his own whirlwind of thoughts, it was Merlin himself that brought Arthur Pendragon out of them.
“My magic is for you, Arthur. I use it only for you,” the warlock continued, still captivating every ounce of the royal’s attention. “I didn’t keep it from you because I didn’t trust you, because I do, Arthur. I was just trying to protect you.”
“Like you have been…for all these years.” Arthur finally said, voice flabbergasted.
Merlin smiled a little again. “Yeah…” he replied. He then stood from the rocks, Arthur following his every move subconsciously. “Look, Arthur, I understand if you never want to see me again. If you want me gone, I’ll go. You won’t need to tell me twice…” Merlin wouldn’t get another word out of that sentence.
After listening to the potential outcome of Merlin leaving, Arthur regained himself from his reminiscent thoughts about their adventures and how much of them he’d actually missed.
He’d missed the part where his manservant was a warlock. Not just a warlock, but the warlock that was literally magic incarnate. Arthur had witnessed Merlin’s raw power himself after seeing him part the lake in half that laid in front of them.
He’d missed the part where his best friend had risked his life and safety for him as well as others. Arthur had no doubts that Merlin had used his magic to help the knights, Gwen, Gaius and more. Albeit, without their knowledge. Throughout all of which, Merlin got no credit for what he did. Not that he thought Merlin sought it but doing all these things without so much as a little recognition must’ve taken a toll.
He’d missed the part where Merlin, his Merlin, was saving his life and keeping him from harm, all because that he saw him as a worthy King and most importantly to Arthur, a worthy friend.
Everything that he’d been told about Merlin that afternoon weighed up inside of Arthur. Everything that he now knew about him came together and made Arthur draw a conclusion. In a way, it was both an easy and painful decision.
Arthur thought that he’d have to be mad to want Merlin gone. Like he’d thought earlier, he just couldn’t let him go. This was before everything was explained to him, so now, the choice was easy.
What was painful was even having to consider Merlin’s life or death. His father’s laws had of course entered his mind only temporarily before Arthur had dismissed them. He’d bent and downright broken the rules for Merlin during Uther’s reign, like hell he was going to stop now.
This time, he was making a decision as Merlin’s King and moreover, as his friend.
“I thought you said you trusted me?” asked Arthur, rising from the rocks himself. His voice was both serious and playful.
Merlin’s heart skipped a beat. “I…I do…” Merlin stopped himself when Arthur placed a hand on his shoulder.
“Then what on Earth makes you think that I want you gone?”
Now Merlin’s mouth was agape, so Arthur spoke when Merlin he couldn’t. “God, Merlin,” he began, turning himself around to face the lake in full. Merlin followed him, his attention on Arthur unscathed. “I knew you were an idiot; I just didn’t know you were a damn selfless one,” finished Arthur, realising afterwards that what he’d said wasn’t quite true.
“Actually, I already knew you were selfless, I just didn’t know the extent,” the royal added as he turned to the raven-haired man. “I am indebted to you, Merlin.”
“Arthur…” he tried but it was futile. Whatever the King was about to say, it was clearly from the heart.
“You still don’t get it, do you Merlin?” he stated, not in any rude tone. “I…I couldn’t bear to watch you hang, or burn…hell, I couldn’t even watch you run away. I didn’t want you to leave, Merlin, and I still don’t now.” uttered Arthur, his eyes looking directly into his manservant’s. The noises of the lake leaving no moment completely silent between the pair.
“I don’t know what to say.” Merlin breathlessly replied. And it was true, his heart and mind were going at unimaginable speeds because if what Arthur was saying was true, then it meant that he understood everything. That he understood why he did what he did, it was all Merlin ever wanted. Both in general and in this situation.
A situation that could’ve turned out to be far, far worse. Because if Arthur had broken due to the betrayal, Merlin would never have been able to forgive himself, ever.
“Well, I do,” responded Arthur. “Thank you, for everything you’ve done.” he uttered, adding a genuine, sunlit smile to the end of it.
Instead of putting together a logical reply, Merlin remained silent and stared at Arthur while tears formed in his eyes. When he felt that they were there, he let out a small laugh and brought his sleeve up to his eyes to dry them. “Sorry.” he spluttered through the laugh, stepping back so he wouldn’t dampen Arthur with his tears.
Arthur didn’t say anything and instead, pulled Merlin into an embrace once he’d wiped his eyes. He locked his strong arms around his friend’s back, holding him tightly. Merlin didn’t refuse it and hugged just as tightly back, allowing more tears to come to his eyes as he did so.
Arthur had understood, and now, the prat was hugging him out of his own will. Merlin had needed this hug for so damn long that he simply melted into it, wanting it to last forever.
After all of these years, the day had finally come for Arthur to see Merlin in the light he’d excelled under all along. He thought that such brevity and power couldn’t have belonged to a better person than his best friend, it was undeniable to him. Arthur knew that those who cared about Merlin at home would also think the same.
Merlin had followed him into battle after battle over the years, Arthur had no doubts that he would follow him into many more. They would face their enemies together, fail and succeed together, fight at each other’s side and protect the other in the same way that they had always done.
Align with their destinies, the two men were sharing the same thoughts. They didn’t know how but they just knew that the other was thinking the same thing.
As their hug drew to an end, Arthur quickly wiped away his tears with his gloved hand that was still holding onto Merlin. The hug itself provided excellent cover for this. Though in truth, Arthur didn’t care if Merlin saw him cry, he’d seen it many times before.
***
The two emotional men were stood before the lake, just taking in the natural sounds it produced for a few moments. Despite pouring their hearts out to each other minutes ago, neither of them knew what to say. Until Merlin’s voice filled the air.
“What happens now?” it looked as if Merlin had asked that to the lake, which greatly amused Arthur.
“Anything, I guess. And I’m fine with anything, so long as you’re with me.” truthfully stated the King.
Merlin turned to face Arthur; his eyes full of fondness. “Always, you clotpole.” his lionheart replied.
Arthur smiled with equal fondness in return. “Though, I think we should get back to Camelot before it gets dark, unless you have a light spell you can use on the way?”
Suddenly, Merlin was feeling much more…Merliny again. “What do you take me for, a beginner sorcerer? That’s basic stuff.”
Merlin’s wit was back. This overjoyed Arthur as he dreaded that he’d lost it. “That’s perfect then,” responded Arthur. Something he’d been thinking of for a while then crossed his mind. Combining it from what he’d seen and learned in the past hour, Arthur came to another important conclusion that day.
The first one was that he cared for Merlin so much so as to follow him anywhere in the world.
The second one was that he’d shown him another side to magic Arthur had never seen, a beautiful, protective side that so incredibly complimented Merlin. Now that he’d seen it, Arthur knew that it was time for a change.
And he couldn’t have asked for a better person to guide him through it than the one standing next to him.
“On the way back, we’ll need to discuss some changes.” Arthur said vaguely which earned a look from Merlin.
“Changes? What kind of changes?” Merlin replied, not anticipating what was coming next.
“To the law, of course. We’ll need to legalize magic.” stated Arthur as if it was no big deal. He knew that it was, he was just winding Merlin up.
He watched as Merlin’s eyes widened. “You’re serious?!”
Arthur chuckled. “What do you take me for, Merlin, my father?”
His manservant’s voice was full of hope and excitement as he spoke. “No, not at all.” he responded, voice content in admiration. Merlin felt sheer happiness rush through him in a way that he hadn’t felt in a while.
“Brilliant, shall we get going then?” Arthur asked, holding his hand to the direction of the path through the forest. He looked to Merlin with kind and trusting eyes, the same way he’d always looked at him. He was so relieved that it remained unchanged, and Arthur knew that Merlin wouldn’t change either. He didn’t want him to, after all. He was perfect the way that he was because he was himself, he was Merlin.
Two sets of shiny blue eyes locked gazes. The lake’s passing noises echoed behind them and it was sparkling like magic from the sunlight. They remained stationary for a moment or two, admiration and fondness for the other side of their coin bubbling within each man.
Then the newly recognised lionheart spoke to his King.
“Gladly.” he spoke, not needing to say anymore.
Side by side as they always had been, the King and his warlock trekked through the paths to home, to Camelot.
A new era was in store for Camelot and all of its surrounding villages, even the other Kingdoms were due for a surprise once they heard the news. If they asked him why, Arthur Pendragon wouldn’t hesitate to reveal the person who helped him see the beauty in magic. He would answer them proudly and then introduce them to the man himself.
Because Arthur knew one thing better than anything else in his life:
Merlin would always be by his side.
And he would always be by Merlin’s.