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The windshield wipers squeaked their way across the front of the tour bus, while the rain beat down on the roof. Brian spotted Nick staring out the windows and felt a pull in his chest draw him near.
He plopped down next to him and poked Nick in the side a couple of times. "Hey, Nick!"
Nick laughed once, more out of habit than happiness, and turned his head towards Brian, who saw his red eyes and wet cheeks. He reached up to wipe the tears from Nick's face.
"Hey, what's wrong?"
"We're going home." Nick couldn't look him in the eyes, and returned to staring at the gray-streaked sky.
Brian leaned towards him, combing his fingers through the hair at the back of Nick's neck. "— but, that's a good thing! We all need a rest."
Nick couldn't quite keep the whine out of his voice. "— and you'll be at Sam's or at the apartment and I'll never get to see you."
Brian gripped the hair on Nick's neck and used it to turn his head, so that he had to look at him. "You'll be okay; you don't need me."
Nick jerked out of his grip and stepped over him to leave. "I do."
#
The rain had stopped. All was dark and quiet in the bus except for the rumbling of the road and the sleeping noises coming from the others. Nick pulled back the curtain and slid into Brian's bunk.
Brian opened his arms to him and closed them around his body. "Nightmare?"
Nick answered, "No," but Brian could still hear the tears in his voice. "Tomorrow I'll be in my own bed."
Brian pulled him a little closer. "It will only be a week. It will go by faster than you think."
Nick pulled back and looked him in the eyes. "Everybody has somebody but me. Someone to go home to."
Nick buried his face in Brian's neck; it felt hot on Brian's skin. "My somebody is on tour."
Brian blinked back a tear, and refused to believe he had lump in his throat, concentrating on running his fingers through the hair on the back of Nick's head. He opened his mouth and closed it, not knowing what he could say that would make it better.
"We have to go home sometimes."
"My home is here." Nick nuzzled Brian's neck, indicating just what he meant by here.
Brian tried to shake off the affects of Nick's words, and his touch. He held Nick to him, tighter than ever, looking for something to ground him, resolve the sudden confusion in his brain. His head felt like it was spinning; what he was supposed to want was warring with what he did want.
All he knew is that the closer he held Nick, the less he wanted to let him go.
#
Outside the bus, their rides waited in the morning sun, and the luggage was being pulled out of the under-bus compartments. Brian was the last in the bus, doing his customary idiot check, looking in all the cabinets, drawers, and various hiding places for things they had left behind.
Nick came up the stairs into the bus. He stood between the seats and pointed out the windows at his father loading his bags into the car.
"I gotta be going," he said, as he looked at the floor; his voice was quiet and without its usual brightness.
Nick walked back further into the windowless hallway between the stacked bunks, where Brian was tossing the beds. He leaned back against one side, his arms tucked beneath him, and sighed, clearly in no hurry to be gone.
Brian came to stand in front of him, and pressed his body into Nick's.
"It will only be a week," he said, as much for himself as for Nick. "It will go by faster than we think."
Nick looked down and nodded.
Brian lifted his chin a little, and caught his attention, making Nick look him in the eyes by the intensity of his expression. He took several breaths intending to speak, but his voice got caught every time by the shame in his throat. So, he lifted a hand to Nick's face instead, cradling his cheek, his fingers just brushing the hair around his ears.
Nick allowed himself a small smile. "I'll miss you."
Brian couldn't bring himself to say what he wanted, so he closed the distance between them and kissed him, trying to communicate without words. He pressed hard on Nick's lips, wanting to make sure that Nick felt what he meant. It was not long before he lost himself and his control of the situation to the sensation of the kiss, as Nick pushed back into him.
He felt Nick breathe out and relax his shoulders, then Nick pulled away.
Nick smiled at him and stood up. "See ya later, Frick?"
"Yeah, see ya later, Frack."
As he watched Nick leave the bus, Brian wondered if he wasn't the more heartbroken one between them.