Archive of Our Own

It's like this: Rhett is six and in first grade he sits by a kid called Link.

***

"That's not your real name."

"Is too."

The kid Ms Locklear has put Rhett next to has a weird name. He's got a big smile and blue eyes and he's shorter than Rhett (so is almost everyone) and his daemon is a puppy.

Fiana is a snake on Rhett's shoulders because snakes are cool.

"Hi!" says the daemon, which is weird because daemons aren't supposed to do a lot of talking, not to humans. "I'm Saskia. You weren't at kindergarten!"

Sometimes Fiana talks a lot because she's excited and Rhett has to shush her, so he waits to see if Link is gonna do that.

Link doesn't.

So Rhett says, "We moved from Georgia."

"Cool. We moved from Angier, but that was ages ago." Saskia wiggles her butt like she's a real dog. Link is bouncing his legs in his chair.

"Alright, class!" The teacher calls. "Everyone sit down!"

They do. Fiana slithers off Rhett's shoulders to get on the comfy desk. Saskia sits next to Link's feet, tail still wagging.

"Ok. My name is Ms Locklear –" she pauses to scribble on the chalkboard behind her " – and welcome to First Grade, everybody! It's going to be really exciting. Before we start, I'm going to do the roll call, so when I call your name you say here and let me know if you want to be called something different, ok?"

Rhett's name starts with an 'M', so he is in the middle of the alphabet and the middle of the  class. As he waits, Fiana slides down the leg of his desk to where Saskia is sitting and she boops her nose.

Link is watching them too. He pulls a face at Rhett and it's a good face so Rhett has to be quiet when he giggles so that he doesn't get in trouble.

"Rhett McLaughlin?"

"Yes Miss!" he raises his hand. Ms Locklear's daemon is a big black bird and he flaps his wings at Rhett.

"Charles Neal?"

There is no answer. Link is leaning on the table to hear what Saskia and Fiana are talking about.

"Charles? Charles Neal?"

Everyone is looking around now. What sort of dummy can't even answer roll call?

"Maybe he's sick, Miss?" A girl in the front with bows in her hair says.

"Last fall I went to Disneyland and I ate lots of cotton candy then I puked everywhere!" A boy from the back of the class says, bouncing up and down in excitement. Rhett can't see his daemon but he bets it's a Tigger.

"Timmy, not now, talking's for recess," Ms Locklear says, but she doesn't sound angry. Rhett likes her. She's pretty. Link is still leaning over his desk. 

Ms Locklear's daemon swoops off her shoulder and lands on Link's desk, making Rhett jump and Link nearly fall off his chair. The bird says something to him (really quiet, so Rhett can't hear) and Link blushes.

"Charles Neal?"

"Here!" Link sticks up a hand. His ears are red. "Sorry Miss. Most people call me Link."

"No problem, Link," Ms Locklear says. Her daemon returns to her shoulder.

"You just need to listen a little better, ok?"

"Yes Miss," Link mumbles, sticking his finger in his mouth and biting it.

"I told you that your real name isn't Link!" Rhett hisses when Ms Locklear moves on to "Hamish O'Brien".

"Is too! It's what my momma calls me. It's short for Lincoln, which is my grandpa's name."

"If it's your grandpa's name then why do you have it?"

"'Coz I'm named after him, dummy. Like my dad. He's Charleslinconeal too." Link sticks his tongue out.

Huh. Rhett doesn't know his dad's name. He's just called Dad, isn't he? "You're the dummy," he says, and sticks his tongue out back.

***

It's like this: Rhett is eight and three quarters and he's bored.

***

"Do you ever think about what Saskia will settle as?" Rhett asks. He's lying on his back and staring at the clouds, his head nearly touching Link's. Fiana and Saskia are lizards, happily sunning themselves in the grass with their tails intertwined.

It's so hot. Too hot. The air is thick and sludgy and it makes cycling too hard, and neither of their moms will give them money for ice cream because it'll rot their teeth. But Rhett doesn't want to go inside because that's gonna be just as boring, and his mom's there.

It's too hot and he's bored.

"Nuh uh," Link says, but Rhett knows he's lying. Everyone thinks about their daemons settling.

But it's too hot to call him out. Then they'd have to wrestle and Rhett would win but they'd be all sticky. So he pretends he doesn't know that Link is lying.

"Who do you think will settle first?"

"Dunno."

"I think it'll be me, because I'm older than you. I bet Fi's gonna be something cool, like a – a –" All Rhett's brain wants to say is dinosaur, but he's not a kid anymore so he knows that that's impossible. 

(But it would be so cool though.)

"A lion?" Link says, but he's using his Quiet Voice. The Quiet Voice means Link's worried about something and Rhett has to hold his hand. Link's hand is sticky and Rhett's is a bit sweaty, but it's ok.

"You ok, bo?"

"Maybe – maybe you would be a wolf. Or a giraffe."

"Giraffes are cool." Rhett doesn't want Fiana to be a wolf because everyone says he doesn’t say wolf properly (and how do they know that he's not the one saying it right and they're all wrong, huh?). "Then there would be nowhere Mom could hide the cookies."

Fiana lifts her head, eyes lazy slits in the warm air. "That sounds like effort."

"Lazybones!" Rhett sneers, looking sideways at Link. Him and Saskia always join in when they start battling.

But not this time. They're still holding hands, him and Link, but Link's rolled over onto his side, facing away from Rhett. His other hand is stroking over Saskia's bony head.

"What's wrong?" Rhett asks.

Link mumbles something, but a car pulls in down the road and he doesn't catch it.

"Say again?"

"What if they settle as enemies?" Link repeats, rolling back over. Saskia scrambles onto his chest to sit. "What if – if Fi is a cat and Saskia's a mouse? We won't be friends anymore."

"Fi's not gonna be a cat, cats are dumb."

"She might," Link says, in a movie-doom voice. "And then we'll be enemies."

"I don't think that's how it works."

But Link winds himself up better than any older brother ever could. Part of the problem, Rhett knows, is that he doesn't listen to anyone that's not Link, or sometimes Saskia.

Momma Sue says he'll grow out of it. Rhett's not sure though. He's already eight. 

"Why would I change to something that didn't like you?" Fiana asks, raising her head from the grass. "I like you both just fine."

"You might not, then. People change. My momma and dad used to like each other and now my dad's getting married again and I live with Jimmy."

"Yeah, but I'm not getting married." Rhett frowns, thinks for a bit. "Not sure I'm allowed." 

"Girls are gross," Fiana agrees with a nod. 

Saskia shifts loads, more than anyone else Rhett's ever seen, so it's not surprising that she's already changed to a labrador to snuggle up with Link. Link still looks grumpy, but it's hard to be too grumpy when you're getting your face licked.

"I'm not gonna suddenly wake up and not like you, bo." Rhett says. They're still holding hands, but it's less weird than he thought it would be. He likes holding hands when he's sad, so it makes sense that Link does as well. "You're my friend."

"You promise?" Link sniffs loudly, but rolls over to face Rhett, forgetting that Saskia's still on his chest. She squeaks and hits the ground, back to lizard-form as she scurries away. "Forever?"

"Forever's a long time …" Rhett says. He's gonna be ancient by the time forever rolls around.

Link smacks him.

"Ow!"

"How long then? If forever is too long. How long we gonna be friends?" Link's eyes are all shiny.

"Ages. As long as you hate tomatoes, we'll be friends." He squeezes Link's hand to stop him looking sad.

"You promise?" 

"Yeah, I promise."

***

It's like this: Rhett is ten, and he's woken in the middle of the night by the phone ringing.

***

Fiana was curled at the end of the bed, but she sits up and cocks her head, one wolf-ear pricked up. "What do you think's going on?"

"I don't know …" Rhett reaches for his alarm clock to check the time. It's late, late late – it's almost 1.30. "I don't like this."

"Phone calls this late are never good." Fiana leaps off the bed and bounds to the door, scrabbling for the door handle. He tries to listen out, but all he can hear is the scratching of her nails on wood. "We should find out…"

"No, I don't wanna."

"We're not going to get into trouble for asking."

Rhett can't explain it, but he doesn't want to open the door. He's scared – he shouldn't be, he's going to be eleven soon, but nobody calls this late just to talk. The longer the door stays closed, the safer he will be.

Fiana takes a long look at him, blinks slowly, then shifts into a bee and flies straight under the door.

"Fiana!" Rhett hisses, scrambling out of bed before he can feel the testing tug of his daemon getting too far away, opening the door as quietly as he can and scooting along the landing. 

The phone call is over, but both Mom and Dad are up, talking in the hallway in whispers.

"We should call the police," Dad says, looking up with a frown. Rhett presses himself behind the banister and holds his breath, as if that will stop them being found. "It's illegal, Diane – and more than that." 

"I know, but there's no point in telling me this. It's Sue's decision, and we've got to back her as much as we –" The floorboards creak under Rhett's feet and his mom looks up. He tries to edge back as quietly as he can, all the way looking for Crius. He's been caught too many times, not spotting the dragonfly near him as he takes cookies before dinner or fights with Cole.

"I should go turn out the guest room then," Mom says.

"Run!" Fiana whispers in his ear, already taking off.

Rhett scuttles backwards as quietly as he can; as he closes the door, he hears Mom's footsteps on the stairs.

"That was close," Fiana says, hopping up onto his bed as a ferret.

"You're a coward, Fi."

"Just faster than you."

Rhett climbs back into bed, letting Fiana curl up on his neck and shoulder, a little snuggly hot water ferret. "What do you think they were talking about?"

"I can't imagine Momma Sue doing anything illegal."

They both shut up as Mom walks past, probably with bedding for the guest room.

"Maybe she's hiding from the law," Rhett giggles.

"She's a – a serial killer!"

"She's committed wire fraud." He doesn't know what that actually means, only he heard it on the news and he knows it's bad. He doesn't think Momma Sue is a serial killer.

Downstairs, the front door opens, and they can hear the low mumble of Dad's voice and the answering hum of – 

"Momma Sue!"

"Duh."

"Shut up." After the near-miss of last time, Rhett's too scared to get out of bed. Mom and Crius will know. So he strains as hard as he can, tries to pick out words.

"… Know what … you," Momma Sue says.

"… Problem … Link?" Dad says.

"Do you think Link's here?" Rhett hisses to Fiana, who wriggles her nose for a shrug."It's really late for a sleepover."

There are more footsteps. And really, if they didn't want Rhett to be awake they should be much quieter.

"Oh Sue," Mom says, and they sound like they're right outside his door. "I've made up the guest room, there should be plenty of room in there for you both. How does that sound?"

"I don't get to share with Rhett?" Rhett's really excited to hear his voice, but Link sounds different, and not just because he's talking to grown ups.

"Rhett's asleep, honey," Momma Sue says. "You can see him in the morning."

"Oh … ok."

"Give me a second, darlin'," Mom says, and it sounds weird because she's opening his door at the same time so it's muffled and not muffled. 

Rhett freezes, not sure whether he should pretend to be asleep or not. Mom is too fast though, so she just catches him lying in bed with his eyes wide.

"Rhett," Mom whispers. "Link's here. Him and Momma Sue are spending the night. Is it ok if you two top and tail?"

He nods, but then thinks it might be too dark for her to see. "Sure, Mom." There'll be room.

She smiles, but it looks kinda sad. Then she turns behind her, "It's alright, darlin', Rhett's awake. Say night to your momma and come on in."

There's shuffling as they all rejig where they are in the narrow landing – he catches the hoofs of Momma Sue's Elijah, standing next to Link's legs – then Link is in the doorway.

He's already in his pyjamas, which is weird. He's clutching Saskia to his chest, even though she's a hedgehog right now. He's still smaller than Rhett (most people are), but now he looks really small. Rhett feels a lot older, all of a sudden.

"Hey bo," Link says. He sounds sad.

Fiana wriggles her way out of Rhett's grip to say hi to Saskia, but Saskia doesn't move from Link. Which is weird, because she's more bubbly and bouncy than even Link.

"Did my mom get you a pillow?" Rhett asks, then notices Link's got one clutched in his non-Saskia hand. "Ok. Well, um. Get in!"

"Budge up then," Link says, and it sounds a little more like normal.

Rhett's feet are somewhere around Link's neck, but Link's are closer to his chest. "At least none of us have feet in our face."

"Stinky feet," Link giggles, wriggling his toes.

"That feels weird, bo!"

"Stinky feet!" Link is still giggling. Rhett remembers meeting a baby at church who giggled a lot, but Mom said that it was the sort of giggling that would really quickly turn to crying. Link sounds a bit like that.

"Are you gonna cry?"

Link draws in a breath, "N-no."

"It's ok if you are." It would be weird, but Link has cried before, so not that weird. This is all very weird, because Rhett is used to knowing what Link's feeling because Link yells all his feelings. But Link is not yelling so Rhett feels weird.

"I'm not gonna cry." But Link doesn't sound very sure. "Ow!"

Rhett sits up. "Link?!"

"It's alright!" Saskia says. "I pricked him. Sorry Link."

"S'ok," Link says, but now he sounds really like he's gonna cry.

"This is weird," Fiana whispers in Rhett's ear, her whiskers tickling. "I think Link needs a hug."

They're getting a bit old for hugs, but Rhett thinks he can make an exception. "Do you need a hug?"

There is silence for a bit – long enough for Rhett to think he has fallen asleep – then Link sniffles. "Yes please."

"Well come up here then!"

They do some awkward shuffling, then Link dives into Rhett's lap and clings to him really tightly.

"Um," Rhett says. He pats Link on the back.

"You're such a bozo!" Fiana whispers, bounding off his shoulder to the end of the bed, where Saskia's lying as a mouse. She nudges at her with her nose. They've always been more huggy than Rhett and Link.

Link is definitely crying a bit though. He's leaving a damp patch on Rhett's pyjama shirt and making snuffly noises that he's trying to keep quiet. Rhett pats him on the back again.

"I think my mom and Jimmy are gettin' a divorce," Link says, all in a rush. Then he wriggles out of Rhett's grip, sits back on his heels and wipes his face on his sleeve.

"Are you sad about that?" Rhett only knows one person whose parents are divorced, and that's Link. So he really doesn't know how to respond to your mom and step-dad getting divorced. He tries to think about it, but it makes his stomach hurt.

Link wipes his eyes again and shakes his head.

All of a sudden, Rhett feels very cold. "We should go to sleep."

***

Link didn't bring any shoes with him, so he has to go home wearing Rhett's sneakers from last year. They look weird with his pyjamas, but he didn't bring a change of clothes either.

It's all very odd, but sometimes Momma Sue is too busy at work to remember everything, so maybe she just forgot Link's shoes. 

Later that day, after Momma Sue and Link have gone, Dad sits next to Rhett at the kitchen table.

"You done your homework?" he asks.

"Yeah." He pushes it across to the table. Brígh hops down from Dad's shoulder to inspect it. Rhett puts his hand on Fiana's mouse tail to stop her being a pest.

"Ok, good boy. Before you go out though, we need to talk."

Rhett immediately begins to think about what's the most recent bad thing he's done and how he can blame Cole for it. He doesn't think he's done anything bad. Not today, anyway.

"It was an accident," he says, to cover all his bases.

Dad raises an eyebrow. "You're not actually in trouble. Unless there's something you want to get off your chest?"

Brígh stops checking his homework to give him a sharp look with her beady owl eyes. Rhett shakes his head.

"Alright. Good." His dad frowns down at his hands. "Rhett – you know Mr Capps? Link's step-dad?"

"Link says him and Momma Sue are probably going to break up."

"Did he – never mind. They might be. Has he ever made you feel strange? Or ... touched you?"

Rhett thinks about it. "He pats me on the shoulder sometimes."

Dad nods, like Rhett's said something important. He stares down at Flana, who stops cleaning herself to stare back at him. "Has he ever … Fiana, what do you think of him?

"I like Momma Sue better. But he's ok for a grown up."

Dad takes a deep breath, staring really hard at her. Rhett can feel her confusion. He's confused too. "Has he ever touched you?"

A shiver goes up Rhett's spine and his stomach hurts like it did last night. Fiana curls herself around his arm and he pets her snake-head, covering it little. "That's not allowed!"

"But if it does happen – from anyone, not just Mr Capps – you've got to tell me and your mom, ok?"

Rhett nods uneasily. Fiana's tongue flickers on his fingers.

"You have to promise me, Rhett. If anyone tries to touch Fiana, you tell me. You won't be in trouble. It's very important."

"Y-yeah," Rhett says. "I will. I promise."

Brígh reaches across and pecks at Fiana's head, missing Rhett's fingers easily.

"Good boy." Dad stands up, holding at his arm for Brígh to perch on. "Your homework's looking good, too." Rhett's never understood how they manage to communicate without actually talking, but somehow they do. It's magic. "You going out?"

"Not sure Link's in the mood to go biking."

Dad locks at him with a strange, sad look on his face. Everyone's looking weird this weekend. "Yeah, you might be right. You – you should keep an eye on him, next couple of weeks. Think he might need a friend."

"We're already friends," Rhett points out.

Dad smiles, but it still looks sad. "Yeah. Yeah you are."

***

It's like this: Rhett is fourteen when Fiana settles.

***

The thing is, Rhett hates cats. They just seem mostly useless, and they claw things and hate people and show their buttholes off.

"Yeah, I've been meaning to tell you to stop doing that."

He swats idly at Fiana, who's too busy admiring herself in the mirror to really care.

She's definitely smaller than a normal cat, but she's got leopard-like markings and huge eyes. She could probably fit in the palm of his hand. She's kinda cute – or would be if she wasn't a physical representation of Rhett's soul.

"Couldn't you at least be something scary, like a – a lion? Or at least something bigger? I think you could fit in my shoe." He doesn't mean it not really. It's not as if it's anyone's fault. This stuff just happens. At least she's not a shark; Rhett's not sure he could live on a boat for his whole life. And she might upset the ecosystem of Cape Fear.

"You should have thought of that before you got all cuddly on the inside." She claws (mostly) playfully at his leg, then uses it to pull herself up and onto his shoulder. "I'm still fierce. We're still fierce. It's just a bit more of a secret. And now you can stop slumping too."

"How'd you figure?"

"Because they'll be able to tell we're not an asshole. What do you think an asshole would have as a daemon, anyway?"

Huh. She's got a point. "Dolphins are rapists, so maybe one of those?"

Fiana laughs – it comes out soft and snickering, which Rhett kinda likes – and headbutts his ear. "What about cuckoos? They kill baby birds!"

"Vultures."

"Vampire bats!"

They continue this conversation as they cross the hall, head down the stairs and into the kitchen for breakfast.

"Oh man, can you imagine? You just wake up and – bam! Worm!"

Rhett is laughing his ass off by this point, Fiana giggling in accompaniment. His dad looks up from the table, stares at them, then shakes his head.

"Good morning Rhett," he says instead.

"Morning!" Rhett pours himself a bowl of cereal and takes his normal seat 

"You smell different," Brígh declares, narrowing her eyes and cocking her head. She takes off from her perch on the counter and lands inches from Rhett's feet, staring intently at Fiana. Fiana stretches out on the floor – he thinks she's maybe half a metre long, if that – and settles down, sphinx-like, letting Brígh get a good look at her. 

Rhett buries himself in his cereal and tries not to think about it. His dad, the other end of the table, is reading the paper. Like he does every Saturday morning.

Brígh doesn't say anything – which is really not that rare, 'cause neither her nor Dad are big talkers – but leans forward to peck affectionately at Fiana's head, right under the ear. Rhett can feel the purr of contentment rumble through her. He sneaks a look at his dad, but can't see past the paper.

Unease settles in his stomach, like the milk in his cereal is off. Next to his ankle, he feels rather than sees Brígh take off, and only when she circles down to land on his dad's shoulder does she appear in his line of sight.

And now they are talking, talking about him.

There's a little sharp tang at his ankle. Fiana is looking at him with her head tilted, and he gets the feeling that if she had proper eyebrows she'd be raising one. Relax, her eyes say. It's all going to be fine. For good measure, she clambers up his leg to sit on his shoulder – not usually allowed at the dinner table, but Rhett's pretty sure an exception can be made. 

His dad lowers his paper. "So you've settled?"

"Yes sir," Rhett says uneasily.

His dad scrutinises Fiana like she's a witness he's cross-referencing and then nods. Rhett sees something like a flash of disappointment cross his face, and he squirms on his chair. "Tell your mom when she gets home from groceries we'll go out for dinner tonight." Then he raises the paper again, conversation done. 

"Are you – are you angry with me?" Rhett asks, then immediately regrets it 'cause he sounds like a girl and he spends his whole life wanting to prove to his dad that he's tough enough. But he's asked it now. It's there.

The paper lowers. His dad looks at him. "For what? It's not as if you have any chance in what Fiana settles as." He turns the page. "Besides, could be worse. What if you'd woken up and she was a worm?"

***

They're almost late to church the next day, so Rhett finds Link on the edge of one of the pews.

"Hey," Link whispers, handing over an envelope with Rhett's name on. "From my mom."

"Oh, thanks." Rhett rips it open as quietly as he can, while Saskia and Fiana greet each other with headbutts and pounces. Saskia is a cat today too, but much larger than Fiana and with less spectacular markings. He feels oddly proud of Fiana's different-ness.

The card is a holographic mirror, with a fancy decorative border. Dear Rhett, it says inside. Congratulations on your settling! She suits you down to the ground. Love Momma Sue, Link, Elijah and Saskia xxx. Rhett closes it again and stares at his face in the warped reflection.

"You smell weird," Saskia says, after rubbing her face thoroughly against Fiana's.

Link raises his nose and sniffs. "You skip out on a shower this morning, brother?" Rhett smacks his arm. "Jus' kidding. I don't smell anything."

"Rhett doesn't. You do," Saskia nudges at Fiana's face again before curling up on Link's shoes. Fiana does the same, leaving just enough space between her and Link – but close enough that Rhett's stomach rolls in a horrified fascination. What would happen if she just moved a little closer?

He suppresses a shudder, then stares again at the mirrored card. "You think she suits me?" he asks instead. Because Rhett has no idea what Fiana's settling says about him.

And Link gets that, somehow. He knows that Rhett needs someone to tell it to him straight, so he can get his head around it.

Link tilts his head and looks at Fiana thoughtfully. "Yeah, I think so. You're all independent and sh-stuff, but you got your people that you like. And she's small and you're tall, but you sometimes kinda wanna be small?" How he knows that, Rhett's got no idea, but it's not untrue. "Besides. She ain't like any other cat I've ever seen. She's special."

Rhett opens his mouth to quiz Link further, but catches the eye of Mrs Lanier downstairs and shuts it with a snap. Instead, he nudges at Link's shoulder in thanks. Link nudges back.

***

It's like this: Rhett is nearly seventeen and Link gets drunk at a party without him.

***

"Get out," he says.

Link opens his mouth to say something – to argue? Rhett hopes it's to argue, because Rhett feels betrayed and angry and it's all Link's fault – but then closes it and nods.

Rhett watches him undo his seatbelt silently. Link's complete lack of reaction only angers him more. "I should have figured you'd do something like this. You're not exactly mature."

He regrets it as soon as he's said it.

Link's eyes flash, and for a second Rhett thinks he's going to punch him. But he doesn't. He just opens the truck door and slides out, clicking his tongue for Saskia.

Saskia only setted a couple of months ago, right after Link's birthday – she was one of the last in their class to settle. It's a touchy subject, and Rhett has just cannonballed right into it.

Just hit me, Rhett thinks. Hit me and we'll sort this out like men.

But Link just slams the door. So Rhett's left with no choice but to drive off, leaving Link and his lioness in the rearview mirror.

"That was cruel," Fiana says, a few minutes down the road. He can't see them anymore.

"He started it." He keeps his eyes on the road and drives.

"He made a mistake."

"What do you want me to do, go back?"

Fiana is silent. Rhett pulls his car off the road and into park so they can talk properly.

"You hurt him." She climbs up the dashboard to stand on the steering wheel so they're almost eye to eye.

"He hurt me."

"Come on, Rhett, he made a mistake! He wants your forgiveness. Plus, he's probably got a wicked hangover, so walking back is going to kill him. And," Fiana pauses, swishing her tail. "You didn't need to say that. About Saskia."

It wasn't about  Saskia, Rhett's gonna point out, but he catches Fiana's eye and decides against it. 

He drums his hands on the steering wheel. Fiana waits.

Eventually – "If he can't stick to it, then what hope do I have? Link's – Link's real strong. And he – I'm –" he shrugs. There wasn't really an end to that sentence.

"Dad always is that it has a big man to forgive and learn from his mistakes. Link can learn."

"When did you get so smart?" He presses his thumb to her nose.

"Well if we were both as dumb as you then we'd have forgotten to breathe ages ago." 

He grabs Fiana by the scruff of her neck and throws her gently into the backseat, knowing without looking that she's landed on her feet. Then Rhett kicks the car back into gear.

He's got a Link to collect.

*** 

Link's managed to make it a fair way up the road, his shoulders hunched to ward off imaginary weather. He doesn't look up as Rhett's truck approaches, leaving Rhett to stare at his friend's hunched-over back.

Then he realises – 

"Fi, where's Saskia?"

There isn't a lioness playfully gambolling around Link's feet, or roaming in the fields nearby. There's just Link.

Rhett feels sick, but he can't figure it out. If Saskia was dead then Link would be too, but could he have cut her out? Like in those scary stories people tell when they're camping. Just shick and Link is half a person.

This is ridiculous. He's only been gone twenty minutes.

Rhett pulls his truck up next to Link and leans over to open the window.

"Link, get in."

"I'm walking, man, just like you told me to." When Link turns to look at him, his face is blank, but Rhett can see tears in his eyes and it feels like a punch in the gut.

"We can talk outside but I figured you'd want to talk somewhere private."

"What if I don't want to talk at all?"

"I –" Rhett doesn't actually know what to say to that. He can't exactly make Link get in the car, or have a conversation he doesn't want to have. And in the background of it all is the uneasy thrum of Saskia's gone, where is she?

Then Link's shoulders begin to move in a way that's frankly inhuman and Rhett finds himself staring into Saskia's eyes.

Saskia, who's a black ferret burrowed into Link's hoodie – not a lioness. She's shifted.

Link hasn't settled.

Rhett tries not to let his expression show on his face, but he's about ninety per cent certain that he fails, because Link's shoulders just drop in defeat. He opens the car door and takes his seat. Saskia climbs down from his shoulders and wraps herself around his hands.

"I know I shouldn't have done it," Link says dully, staring at Saskia – and Rhett had almost forgotten that thirty minutes ago they were talking about him drinking at a party. "Don't know why I did it. Was just curious, I guess, and they were playing Merle, and I –" Link cuts himself off, shakes his head, digs his fingers into Saskia's fur. "I wish you'd been there. You would have stopped me."

He says it with complete and utter confidence. A confidence in Rhett? A surety that Rhett was stronger than him?

"I'm not sure I would have," Rhett says. "I wasn't there. I didn't get asked."

"You wouldn't have done it."

He doesn't know what to say. Link's fervent belief is – well, disarming, to say the least.

Rhett drops his gaze to Saskia, who's gently grooming Link's fingers one by one. How could he have missed it? How did she not slip up? How did Link, king of terrible lying and openness, not slip up?

"She asked me not to tell," Fiana's soft voice murmurs in his ear. "I knew, 'coz she smelled the same, but I didn't see the harm. They weren't hurting anyone."

The silence extends. Link has bowed his head. Rhett thinks he might be crying again.

"I'm s-sorry," Link says, a hitch in his breathing. "I shouldn't have lied. I jus' – just wanted to be normal. I've gotten sympathy my whole life for being 'fatherless', and I didn't – didn't – it was just tiring, ok?" And he ducks his head again, and this time Rhett knows he's crying.

"Hey," Fiana says. coming forward to fully perch on Rhett's shoulder, making her about eye level with Link. "Don't cry, bo. You're already dehydrated from the alcohol."

Link doesn't say anything, head still bowed like he's praying, but Saskia looks up, blue eyes huge and wide. Do all ferrets have eyes that big? Or is it a Link thing?

"I get it," Rhett tells her. "All – all of it." He kinda wants to reach out to Link, maybe hug him, but that's just – not a boy thing. Instead he claps a hand on Link's shoulder, giving it a rough squeeze. "And I won't tell anyone, bo."

"You mean it?" Link raises his head and Rhett realises with a squim of embarrassment that his blue eyes are still swimming with tears. "Really?"

"I mean …" Rhett shrugs. "Lion did suit you, so it wasn't exactly an odd choice. Easy to believe – and maybe she'll stay that way."

Link wipes his eyes. They both look down at Saskia, who's wriggled onto her back so Link can scratch her stomach – and something about her is just so purely Link that it makes Rhett smile.

"Yeah," Link says, leaning a little into Rhett's hand. "Maybe."

***

It's like this: Rhett has been seventeen for two months when Link doesn't turn up to school.

***

It's December, so he could just have a cold. But Link's normally the kind of guy who pushes through, sounds awful and inevitably gives it to Rhett, so that's a bit weird. He also hates missing school, so. 

Maybe he's at the dentist and forgot to tell Rhett. He'll come back at lunch and complain about weird injections giving him a fat lip.

But lunch rolls around and Link still doesn't show.

So by last period Rhett's actually  worried.

"I'm sure they're just sick," Fiana says, but she doesn't sound convinced. She's tucked herself under Rhett's chin to talk every time their math teacher isn't looking. "He'll be fine."

"But what if he got into a car accident, or – or tripped while washing up a carving knife? He could be dying!"

"I think Mom would have told us if Link was dying. And, to be honest, dying while doing the washing up is probably heaven for Link."

“Point. But that's not the – never mind.”

Fiana snickers into his neck.

"Mr McLaughlin, am I boring you?" Mr Moore barks from the front of the class.

Rhett jumps and sends his pencils flying. "N-no, sir.” Fiana hops down to collect his stationary while his ears burn in embarrassment. He's alright being the centre of attention if he asks for it – on the basketball court, or doing weird stuff with Link – but otherwise he’d rather shrivel up and die. Like now.

She climbs up his desk leg, pencils clutched in her mouth, then daintily lays them down in front of him, claws scuffing at his math book. "We'll visit after school," Fiana says. "Mom won't mind if we’re a bit late home."

"Sure." Rhett looks up at the clock. Only forty minutes to go.

***

Unexpectedly, Momma Sue is home when Rhett calls by. She’s normally working – or maybe Link only invites him over when they have the whole house to themselves? Who knows.

"Hey Momma Sue,” he says, taking a step back so that he's not looming over her.

"Hey Rhett,” she smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. "You looking for Link? I'll go see if he’s up for visitors." As she walks away, Rhett can see her deer daemon curled up on the couch, watching whatever they'd been watching before he’d turned up. It's still kinda weird to see a daemon without their human, even though Rhett's known Momma Sue since forever. But nurses need a little more length on the tether than a normal job, a little more space.

Still weird though.

"He says you're fine to come in, hon,” Momma Sue calls from (presumably) Link's room. So Rhett kicks off his shoes and enters.

Link doesn't look sick. He’s in bed, but seems to be using it more like a couch, with a blanket tossed over his knees and a pile of books by his side. Rhett can't see Saskia, so makes a mental note to check under the covers before he sits down.

"Hey bo," Rhett leans on the doorway. “You sick?”

“I didn’t really sleep this weekend,” Link says dully, staring at his knees. “Might be in tomorrow though.”

"You, uh, trying to bore yourself to sleep?" He jerks his head at the pile of books.

"Huh? I – oh. No. Jus’ researching.”

In general, Link is king of creating awkward situations. He tends to diffuse them by making them even more awkward, too. But he doesn’t tend to be awkward – or at least, not that awkward – around Rhett. It hangs between them like a damp tent, sagging and humid.

“Can I sit?"

Link shrugs. "Sure. Whatever.”

Rhett sweeps his eyes over the bed, but can't see Saskia anywhere. “Hey Sas, where you hiding?"

"Over here.” The sorrowful voice comes from the other side of the room.

Rhett's already picking up the books to sit down, but he whips around to see where Saskia's sitting. She's hiding, which isn’t very Saskia-ish at all; Fiona leaps down off his shoulder to find her.

He looks down at the top book in his hands: Great People and their Daemons. It's an old, old book – he thinks his nanna might have a copy. No, she definitely does, he rifled through it when he was eight or so, going through the obligatory what-daemons-do-all-these-famous people-have stage, and was disappointed that there weren't any pictures.

So why is Link reading it?

"Whatcha researching, bo?” 

"S-stuff." Link's casual shrug is the most obviously fake thing Rhett’s heard since he was ten and Cole pretended for two weeks like his voice had dropped

Instead, Rhett looks down at the next book. He's not read this one before, but he’s seen it in the church library – Your Daemon and You. It’s aimed at younger kids, around the age that they – 

Saskia’s settled.

This is a book aimed at teenagers, full of cringeworthy lingo to make it ‘down with the kids’ and it’s all about settling. 

He looks up from the book. Link is staring at him, jaw jutting out in challenge.

“It's happened, then?" He isn’t quite sure he meant to end it like a question, but it's happened now. He can just about see Fiana's tail poking out from under Link’s dresser – presumably where Saskia's hiding. “You ok?”

"Peachy." Link doesn't clam up, he explodes. But he seems so brittle like this, in a very un-Link-like way. 

So Rhett tries a different tactic. He puts the books back on the bed and instead kneels down next to the dresser. "Hey Sas, wanna come out?" 

"No.” Her voice has changed with the settling, lower and hoarser. He can't figure out what she could be, though. Not enough clues.

"That bad, huh?"

“Rhett!" Fiana hisses, her voice filtered by the wood.

"We missed you at school today. Math was really dull."

"Do we have a lot to catch up on?" Saskia asks.

"I wasn't really listening.”

"Stop it!" Link barks from his bed, where he’s drawn his knees up. “You might as well come out, Saskia. He’s not going away.”

Dang right I'm not.

"But I don't want to." Saskia says it in such a small, rough voice that Rhett's not sure that Link hears. But there's enough rustling to suggest she is coming out anyway.

She comes out nose first, black with a white body and grey streak. Then grey-furred hand-like paws with dog-like claws, followed by a diamond-shaped head with grey and white ears.

A raccoon, Rhett realises.

“Wow, Sask," he says. “You’re –”

“Sneaky?” Link suggests, an awful throatiness to his voice. "A liar? Untrustworthy?”

“I was gonna say perfect," he says quietly. 

Link scoffs. “’Course you were.”

"Is this why you've been AWOL the last few days? Because of …” He gestures at Saskia, who bristles. "No one believes in any of that shit, Link, not anymore. What did your mom say?"

"You know her, she wouldn't say anything against anyone. It, it happened at my dad's, and he didn't say anything but I could tell he was –”

“How do you know?"

"Because who wouldn't be? I spent all that time pretending that I’d be a lion, and who am I kidding? I freaking let everyone –” Link breaks off from his rant, shaking his head and hiding his eyes, one arm curled around his stomach as if to keep his insides in.

Rhett looks down at Saskia and Fiana, who're curled up so close that you barely tell where one ends and the other begins. Fiana is grooming Saskia like a kitten, and it flares up something hot in Rhett’s stomach.

"Raccoons are really smart,” he says slowly, not dragging his eyes away from the two of them. “And they do that thing where they wash all their food before they eat it, like you and your handwashing. And they fix problems all the time. And they're really troublesome and full of mischief. Sure, they eat trash, but if you could you’d live off peanut butter, so it evens out, I think.”

Link sniffs, laughs a watery laugh.

“I just look at her and see you, brother. And I bet your parents don't care, anyway. If anyone at school says anything, I’ll sort them out." He chances it, shuffling the books off the bed and sitting down next to Link – not close enough to actually touch, but enough for Link to feel his intent. "’Sides. I don't think they'd fit together properly if Sas was a lion."

Both of them look up when Rhett mentions them, looking a little guilty, like toddlers that got into the baking cupboard. He keeps his eyes on Saskia, who’s still holding herself like she's afraid of being told off.

Maybe he’s biased, but he doesn't think that Fiana is as much of an open book as Saskia – he doesn't think very many daemons are at all. Link's already crap at hiding his emotions, always has been, but it's like Saskia doesn't even try.

Link makes a clicking noise with his tongue, like the farm boy he probably should have been, which is cue for both daemons to scramble onto the bed. Fiana sits on Rhett's shoulders, but Saskia hesitates. She's probably bigger than Fiana, if they measured, but right now she seems very small.

It tugs at Rhett's stomach, the idea of hating yourself that much. Nobody should, but particularly not Link.

"Hey Sas, you gonna leave me hanging?" Link asks gently.

Tums out raccoons are fast: she all but barrels her way onto his lap, before using his shirt to clamber up his chest and sit on his shoulders, her head resting on Link’s.

"Speaking of leaving me hanging, bo, you coming to class tomorrow? Offer still stands if you need me to punch anyone.” Rhett jostles his friend's shoulder with a grin.

Link's answering grin is a bit wobbly, a little uncertain, more than a bit sheepish, but it's there, that's what matters. "Can't have you being all lonely, I guess."

***

It's like this: Rhett is twenty-one, Link twenty, and they go snowboarding.

***

"Link! You're gonna bust!" Will yells.

Rhett's already running when Link flies into the air – too fast too fast too fast – and disappears the other side of the snow bank.

Shit shit shit shit shit!

"Momma Sue's gonna kill us!" Fiana yells from where she's tucked up in Rhett's jacket.

Shit shit shit shit!

Despite Rhett running flat out, Will gets there first; he's already there when Rhett clears the bank.

For a moment, Rhett thinks Link's dead. He's still leaning against Will, and he’s not saying anything. But more to the point, Rhett can't see Saskia. Link's hood is pulled down, so Rhett should be able to see her nestled into his shoulder.

"Where's –”

“Link, are you hurt?" Will asks over the top of him.

Link takes a thrilling, terrifying, shuddering breath. "M-my hip.”

"She's there," Fiana whispers, venturing a paw outside Rhett's jacket to gesture at a small mound of grey fur that's testing the boundaries of a bond. The distance looks painful; Rhett shivers in sympathy and Fiana clings a little closer.

"Walk it off, man," Will says.

Then there's an awful awful scream that sounds almost inhuman – Will jumps away and Link rests his head on his knees.

"Or not?"

“I think I'm going to faint.”

“Hey, Sas,” Rhett murmurs, kneeling down. "You with us?"

There's no response. Fiana wriggles out of her jacket pocket to nose at her friend – still nothing.

Behind him, Rhett can hear Link and Will –  "Hold on, I'm just coming to." “Link, you've been too!" "Evidently I've hurt my left hip.” He ruffles the snow next to Sasha, in the vain hope of trying to wake her, but it doesn't work. 

Fiana licks at her muzzle. "She's breathing.”

"Hey, Rhett?”

Rhelt turns to face Will and Link, the latter still huddled in pain.

“I'm gonna go get the paramedics, 'k? You stay here with him.”

To be honest, Will just looks pleased to be getting away from a more-out-of-it-than-normal Link, and Rhett doesn’t entirely blame him. He leaves Fiana nuzzling into Saskia and shuffles closer to Link, who’s staring at him blankly. Will runs for it.

“Hey Link,” Rhett says softly. "How are you doing?"

"Hold on a minute, I'm just coming to," Link says, looking very ‘to’. “I've hurt my hip.”

"Yeah, buddyroll, I think you have. You, uh … remember who l am?"

Link looks at him, unimpressed. "You're Rhett.”

"And you're –”

"Link, yes. I'm not an idiot."

Well, jury's a bit out on that. "One more. What's your daemon?”

"Raccoon. She – wait, where is she?"

“Hey, it's alright, she's –” Rhett reaches behind him.

"Hold on, I'm just coming to."

“Yep. You've already said that. Look, Link, Saskia's just –”

She’s still out for the count, though. Fiana grabs her by the scruff of her neck and tries to tug her towards Link, but no dice.

“I think I've hurt my left hip.”

Rhett can't decide whether to laugh or cry. Link is obviously in pain and bewildered, but the whole situation is so absurd that he wants to giggle hysterically. "Uh, she's here, Link. Saskia's here, but she's out of it, she's too heavy for Fi to carry, so you're gonna have to lean over, 'k?"

Link, the jerk, giggles. "Too much of a man for you, McLaughlin?"

"Yeah yeah, yuck it up.” Rhett reminds himself that Link probably has brain damage and you shouldn't punch a friend who’s got brain damage, no matter how annoying they're being. “Go get your daemon, man. I’ve never heard her stay quiet for this long and it's freaking me out.”

Link nods complacently and goes to get up.

“Is that a good –” Fiana stirs.

Rhett’s mom always said that raising two boys was fine, as long as she could hear them. It's when they started being quiet that the problems began. And, all of a sudden, Rhett gets that, because Link doesn't scream when he moves, not this time.

Instead, Link goes white, all of his gentle tan seeping out of his face like bleach on Rhett’s basketball shorts. His mouth sort of gapes, like a silent scream, and Rhett thinks he's gonna –  no, he actually does pass out, crumpling into the snow. 

"Well, that went well.”

"Shut it, Fi!" He leans forward to grasp at Link’s shoulder and give it a shake. "Link? Hey bo, wakey wakey."

Link makes a groaning sound as he stirs and Rhett's so relieved he's not just accidentally killed his friend that he could kiss him (in the metaphorical sense of the phrase, because 1) he doesn't want to get herpes and 2) it's Link).

"Hold on," Link rasps. "I'm just coming to. Evidently –”

“You've hurt your left hip,” Rhett says, all in a rush. "Please don't move, it made you pass out. Um, Saskia's over –” He gestures to where Fiana is settled, curled up to keep her friend warm.

Link stares at him, blue eyes wide and a little lost. "I want my mom.” 

Oh gosh. Rhett is not equipped to deal with this. Link’s been seeing a girl from Meredith, if only she'd come on this. Or, heck, any girl. All Rhett’t's equipped to do is pat him on the shoulder and say “I know, buddyroll.” Which he does.

“I need –” Link takes a deep, shuddering breath. "Sas? Saskia, can you –”

"She's out of it. Link. She – she's breathing and stuff, just – sleeping?” Yeah. Sleeping is a better word than unconscious, because unconscious is scary.

Link frowns, and Rhett can tell he's concentrating real hard on the tether, trying to see if he can jerk it hard enough to wake her up. Sometimes it works when they're sleeping (actually sleeping), but it clearly doesn't work when they're unconscious.

"Rhett?" Link says, voice quiet with disappointment, and more than a little fear. "I need – can you – please?"

It's the please that clues Rhett in, fragile in the way Link always pretends he ain't. That it means something. That it's important.

"I need her, Rhett."

"Y-you – l can't, Link. Not – that's not something guys do. Not something people do. I can't freaking grab your daemon, you're confused and –"

"I hit my head, I'm not an idiot, bo." Link's already folding in on himself, and the question dies a death between them, which – good.

Good.

That's how it's supposed to be. Guys don't let guys touch daemons.

Not that it would be alright otherwise – Rhett's had it drilled into him since he can remember that daemon-touching is for his wife, and her alone. Rhett's a bit of a jerk, sure, he messes around in church, alright, but – not about stuff that matters.

None of this explains why Rhett feels awful, though.

He meets Fiana's eyes. You should, I think, her head tilt says.

I can't! That's not right! He shakes his head.

It's Link.

It's Link, his best friend. Who gave up going to film school to stay with Rhett. Who he spent every day of every summer vacation with. Who's always been there – and, yeah, Rhett's talked himself into it. His future wife's gonna have to share, anyway. 

He kneels down by Saskia. "Hey, Sas – if you can't move, I'm gonna pick you up, ok?"

No answer.

He's still wearing gloves, so he's not touching her, technically. But the gloves don't stop her being warm in his arms, feeling her heartbeat, the weird weird sensation of someone else's soul in his arms. It doesn't stop her fitting perfectly to him, like she was carved out of him. If he thinks about it too much he's going to stop breathing.

In his arms, Saskia stirs. "Hey Rhett," she says, and she doesn't sound surprised or scared. Nor alarmed when Rhett nearly drops her.

"Arms out, Neal," he says gruffly. Link does as he's told, looking dazed, and Rhett unceremoniously dumps Saskia into his arms, then jumps back a few steps.

Link is … spacey, as he hugs Saskia close. His eyes aren't focusing properly, and he looks so much smaller all of a sudden.

"Hold on," he says. "I'm just coming to –"

"Don't move!" Rhett barks. "Will and Greg have gone to get paramedics. You fell off your board, cuz you're a dumbass."

"I've hurt my left hip?" Link looks up, brow furrowed.

Rhett sighs. "Yeah, buddy, you have."

***

He's not been avoiding Link the past two weeks. He's just been … busy. They're still living together, after all, so he still sees Link and occasionally has to help him pee at four in the morning. Rhett's a good, helpful friend! Who's also a junior, so has got a tonne of stuff to do.

"Hey bo," Link says through a mouthful of cereal, as Rhett steps out of the shower. "Gregg left his Nintendo here, wanna play Mario Kart?"

"I'm … homework. Library. Don't wanna fall behind already!" he says, pulling on clean (ish) boxers and hunting for a shirt.

"It's a Saturday and we're only three weeks into the semester and  you always do your work the night before it's due."

"New year, new leaf, and all that. I'll catch you later, bo!" Rhett stuffs his feet into his shoes and slams the door, speed-walking down the corridor so that Link can't catch up.

Which is a little mean, sure, but – defence mechanism.

Rhett goes to McDonald's for breakfast and huddles into both. Fiana goes to work on his chips, picking out her favorites to eat while he's distracted.

The thing is.

The thing is.

The doctors say that Link's pelvis should heal just fine and there shouldn't be any lasting effects from his concussion.

But … 

Link doesn't remember. Any of it. He remembers strapping on his snow boots and then leaving the resort sat gingerly on a donut pillow. Which means that a) he doesn't remember Rhett cradling Saskia like a baby, and b) Rhett held the daemon of someone in a compromising state. Like, there's a literal place in hell for people that do that. And he did it.

He – he violated Link. Took advantage of – and sure, he'd said he didn't want to, but he sure as hell didn't push back against it more than the socially acceptable minimum. 

Or – oh God, what if Link does remember, but won't say anything because he's scared Rhett will do it again? What if he tells someone? Momma Sue would kill him and Rhett's parents would probably help, and – 

A sharp pain in his finger breaks Rhett out of his spiral. He looks down to see Fiana carefully extracting her teeth from his knuckle.

"You bit me!"

You were spiralling. Stop it. Eat your Big Mac."

He does as he's told. It's lukewarm at best but he can't really taste it, so he goes through the motions of chewing while Fiana wriggles closer so they can have the conversation with less eavesdropping.

"I think you need to talk to Link," she says.

"Nope," he says through a mouthful of cold burger. 

"You're seriously going to stop talking to your best friend for the rest of your life because of something he doesn't even remember? That's gonna really upset him."

"It's better this way."

"Oh come on." Fiana hisses grumpily and takes a swipe – claws sheathed – at Rhett's face/burger. "Man up! Talk to him! You're a real pain to be around when you're like this, and you think too much and it keeps me awake. What are you scared of?"

Rhett looks around and drops his voice even lower. "It's the worst thing I could do. I took advantage of him. And he doesn't even –"

"I would let Link do it," she cuts across.

 He drops the rest of his burger. "What?"

"I would let Link do it," Fiana repeats, sitting up tall on her hind legs. "I feel safe with him. As long as he's not holding scissors."

"I don't – it's not – that's a wife thing, Fi." He can feel his face heating up – even his ears feel flushed. "It's a – well, you know."

"Is it?" She stares straight into his eyes, but he ducks his head to avoid her. "I'm just saying. If roles were reversed, that's how I'd feel. So, maybe think about that, yeah?" she nudges at his hand. "Because you're kinda being a dumb-dumb right now."

***

Rhett's a coward, though. His dad wouldn't be impressed.

He spends the day in the computer lab, typing up homework that's not even due for another two weeks. And after that he dicks around on the internet. And after that he invents a game to play by himself in the library that involves hunting down books that are by an author whose surname begins with the last letter of the last author's first name. And after that Fiana threatens to bite him again if he doesn't go home.

So he does. 

Link is still on the couch, but Rhett thinks he's moved during the day – he hopes so anyway. Saskia is perched on the back of the couch, her hands gripping Link's neck and her snout burrowed in his hair. She's grooming him, Rhett knows. It always looks a bit odd, like he expected her to use her hands more.

"Hey bo," Rhett says quietly. "You ok?"

Link shrugs.

"You, uh … need anything? Like painkillers, or a snack, or …?"

"I'm fine." Link says. "Saskia's been getting stuff."

The painkillers are on the table near him, but the couch isn't exactly close to the kitchen. Rhett tries to weigh up the distance – it's not quite out of tether range, but it's far enough that it makes his stomach feel funny.

I've been a dick.

Fiana looks at Rhett, then looks at Link, then takes matters into her own hands and bounds onto the back of the sofa, her back a perfect arch as she leaps and makes Link jump. She nuzzles up to Saskia, who responds with some of her own. Rhett can hear them talking, but he's not close enough to hear what they're saying. Link probably can though.

Rhett makes popcorn to buy himself some time, all the while watching Link sit rigidly on the couch. 

"Popcorn?" He offers, sitting down at the other end of the couch.

Link shakes his head, but Saskia slides down the cushions to take some. Fiana scrambles down to sit on Rhett's shoulder, her purr calming in his ear. 

"I – how much do you remember, about …?" Rhett gestures his hand in Link's general direction instead of saying all of this.

"Nothing," Link says shortly. "I told you."

"Right, but some things that happened aren't stuff you'd admit to, so I didn't know –"

"You've been ignoring me for three weeks because something I did when I had brain damage?" Link's eyes spark and his shaky hands get shakier. Saskia abandons her popcorn to go to him. "Well, I'm sorry, Rhett, that I couldn't behave like a normal person whan –"

"I touched Saskia!" Rhett blurts out, before Link can blow altogether – because he could take him, even before the accident, but it doesn't mean that he wants to, and it doesn't mean he's not a bit scared of how angry he can get.

Instead, Link physically flinches. "Wh-at?"

Fiana's claws are gripping into Rhett's shoulder; the needle-like pain is somewhat soothing. "I – you asked, you wanted her, and she wouldn't wake up and you couldn't reach and you kept asking. So I grabbed her and brought her to you." He directs this whole speech to Link's left kneecap. "I didn't – you didn't remember anything, when you woke up, and then I  thought that maybe I shouldn't have – you asked me to, but, like you said, you had brain injury and –"

"Rhett."

"I had my gloves on! But it still felt really … y'know, not something that I was supposed to be doing, and –" 

"Rhett, it's ok."

Rhett's brain comes to a screeching halt. After a moment – "Are you angry with me?" he asks Link's knee.

"A bit, but more 'cuz you didn't talk to me about it." In Rhett's peripheral vision, he can see Link knot his shaking hands in Saskia's fur. "Not because you – y'know. I asked you to."

"You didn't have any idea what you were doing."

"Right, but – I don't mind. I think about it now, and it doesn't –" Link shakes his head. "I don't mind that you held her."

Rhett is not touching that with a ten-foot pole. "I didn't want – I felt like l'd taken advantage of you. Because you couldn't remember. And I couldn't look at myself." 

"I asked you to, bo. It doesn't make you a bad person." 

And now Link is apologising to him, which makes Rhett's stomach twist painfully and he feels sick and his hands are shaking and – "I'm sorry," he says, before Link can try. "I'm s-sorry I did it, and I shouldn't have, and I can get back to normal if that's what you want, I'll just –"

Suddenly, there is a hand covering Rhett's mouth. Link's hand, of course, but knowing whose hand was there doesn't exactly make the situation any better.

Still. Even Rhett's aware he's spiralling, so it helps to take a second to breathe.

"It's ok, Rhett," Link says, looking him straight in the eye. "It's ok, I'm not gonna –"

"Stop apologising!" he says through his hand. Link probably can't hear it, but the gist is there.

Slowly, Link removes his hand, but he looks poised to slap it back onto Rhett's face in an instant. "I have an idea. Might make you feel better. If I – what if I touched Fiana?"

Rhett feels himself go cold all over. "What." 

"Then we'd be even right? And you'd stop beating yourself up about it." If Rhett had been the one asking the question, he would have struggled to get it out, but Link's still looking at him steadily, eyes bright and calm.

"B-but. That's not a thing. That's a wife thing, not –"

"Oh, like what you got up to with Taylor last summer?"

He should say no. It's a wife thing, after all, and it's not the same as what he got up to with Taylor or any of his other girlfriends, it doesn't count as sex. He should say no, because it's wrong. 

But – he wants to be able to look at himself without his skin crawling. He wants to be normal with Link, not hovering around him like a criminal on parole.

And besides. It's Link. Nothing ever feels so bad when it's Link.

I would let Link do it. I feel safe with him. 

We feel safe with him.

He looks back at Fiana, who looks back at him.

"Yeah," he says. "Ok."

Fiana hops onto the back of the couch and stretches out, then continues padding along until she's only inches from Link, her tail waving lazily behind her.

Link flicks his eyes from Fiana to Rhett, one last chance to back out.

Go on then, Rhett gestures with a small sweep of his hand.

So Link does.

The closest description Rhett can think of is that it sets his teeth on edge – uncomfortable at first, but the brush of Link's fingertips against Fiana's skull eases that uncomfortableness after seconds. It's like a constant shiver running down his spine, pooling in his stomach.

"Is this ok?" Link whispers.

Fiana responds instead of Rhett, pressing her head into the scratch of his nails.

He's had girls stroke his hair before – and Taylor pulled it, once, which made his toes curl – but that was a pleasure located solely in his scalp. This is everywhere. He feels almost tingly. He can hear his heart beat, can almost taste it. 

This is why you save it for your wife.

But this is Link, and, well – could it be much better? Does he actually want – 

His mind clears when Link moves his hand back to his lap. Fiana wiggles on the top of the couch, acting giddier than Rhett's ever seen her.

"So, that was –" Link is staring at his hands.

"I liked that," Fiana interrupts him, her eyes squinted and blissed out. Saskia climbs up to join her, snickering under her breath.

They're – flirting, teasing each other lazily while saying things that Rhett can't catch but are turning Link's ears red. 

"W-was that ok?" Link asks his hands. "Will you stop acting weird now?"

Oh brother, you're going to get a whole new side of weird now.

"It was ok." Rhett tries to lie, but he thinks Link can hear his heart thumping from the other side of the couch. "I mean, it was a bit different. I was wearing gloves. Big ski gloves."

It's unfair, actually, that Link's so put together while Rhett is still shivering from his touch. 

Link laughs. "Guess it wasn't entirely fair, brother." His eyes are lazily lidded, and they somehow remind Rhett of Fiana, who's still practically passed out on the back of the couch. Rhett watches him swallow. His mouth is dry.

"Hey." And how did Saskia get from one side of the couch to the other, inches away from dropping off the arm onto Rhett's lap. "My turn now?"

She's got the wisest eyes he knows, despite the permanent look of utter mischief in them, and her nose is quivering, little hands twitching.

"Jus' – one thing first," he tells her, then he leans over and kisses Link.

***

It's like this: Rhett is twenty-one, and everything is exactly how it's meant to be.