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He had never liked admitting things like these. Doing so was like going against his very being, but there was no way around it.
He was worried about you.
That was Bakugo's line of thought as he sat before the television in your shared apartment. His eyes stared at the breaking news, your form followed from a distance as you ran with two little boys in your arms. Tears ran down your cheeks. Your face was dirty, your hero costume almost unrecognizable, your hair had long left your always put together braid that he helped you with in the mornings. There was smoke everywhere, so much that he was sure it was mere luck that the camera man had the opportunity to catch the scene. But just like he could see it, everyone else could and it was gone in an instant.
The sight of your flushed, wet cheeks made him feel uneasy. It had just been for a straight second, but he had seen tears. He had seen you cry many times before, since the academy days. So he was rather skilled at noticing the slightest changes on your face. Everyone else might have mistaken your crying eyes for irritated ones because of the smoke, but he knew better. He knew you better than anyone else.
Bakugou was sure that no one would suspect you, because a hero knew better than to cry in a disastrous situation. Especially you, [hero name], the always collected and strategically exceptional pro-hero. The one that had saved countless lives in some of the worst situations in these past four years of their pro-hero career. In every situation, you had managed to save everyone under your line of sight, giving you also the name of 'The protector'.
But that was exactly the problem.
There was no way that that title given by the own citizens hadn't gotten to you. He knew it put the utmost pressure on your shoulders, given you the idea of becoming the perfect hero. The one that would save everyone in which you laid eyes upon.
So, seeing you lose your collected demeanor was a big indicator that something was terribly wrong.
"We are reporting from the edges of the current battlefield. The pro-hero Deku has been holding off an unknown villain for the past hour as heroes [hero name], Uravity, Kamui Woods, Creati and Froppy have joined forces to rescue the victims of the primary attack." The slightly desperate voice of the reporter brought Bakugo back to his senses. The camera man seemed to try and get more shots of the scene, but the smoke wasn't going to let them. It was a wall behind the masked reporter. "There's a massive wall of smoke behind us, so we cannot really see anything past it. We don't know if our heroes and fellow citizens are safe and we certainly do not know for how much longer this will conti-"
"Look out!"
Bakugo stood straight from a jump when he heard your voice for a second before the camera shut off.
"Reporter Ito! Reporter Ito! Is everything alright?"
The desperate shouts of the news hosts fell into the background as he stood there, struggling to breathe to calm himself down. His heart was racing and the hold he had on the remote proved to be too much for it to handle. Shattered, he let the remote fall from his hands as he sat helplessly on the couch.
Why of all days, did it have to be in his free week that this happened? He could have been there with you, with everyone. If he were there he knew that that villain would have been suppressed long ago. No one could manage a pair of heroes like him and that nerd joining forces. If he was there he would have most probably...
No, there was no reason to be throwing 'what-ifs' now. He had just woken up when he sat to watch the news and found out about the situation. There was no way he could know something like this would happen and there was no way he would get there in time now. It was almost at the other side of the country, a few hours at the least.
Even if he hated to admit it, he was sure that Deku would take care of things like he always does. He knew he would prefer to die before letting any of his teammates perish again.
All he could do now was trust your strength and the strength of everyone else. It had always been difficult for him... Trusting people. But he had found that it was easier to do so with you. So at least, he would trust you with your own life. He knew he could do that much.
It seemed like an eternity, but night arrived at last and so did you along with it. The soft creak of the door announced your arrival to your 4 year long partner.
Your head was hanging lower than usual, your shoulders slumped forwards, your feet dragging. Overall, you looked as if you had been carrying insanely heavy baggage on your back for a long time. You didn't seem tired in the same way you did every day. This form was new to him, he had never seen something remotely similar coming from you. And it alarmed him.
The young man walked towards you, who stopped in the middle of the hallway upon seeing him. He stood there, observing you, making you feel tiny. You couldn't even bring yourself to look him in the face. You were certain that if you did, everything would crumble and causing him more worry was something you weren't really fond of.
You knew he had seen everything. He always wakes up just before 10 in his free days and immediately proceeds to watch the news. So there was no way he didn't get to watch the whole live broadcast. Word even got to you that they managed to record you in action. He most probably even caught your slip up.
There was no way to know for how long the two of you just stood there, him observing you and you avoiding his eyes. But at last, he spoke.
"Hey." He said simply, reaching for your hand. His voice low, a raspy whisper. Just as if it wasn't only the two if you.
Your body immediately relaxed after his warm touch. A strong relief washed over you when you heard his raspy voice. Your eyes finally found their way to his and it was then when you realized that you had slipped up and let your guard down once again.
Bakugo's face contorted with pain when he watched your eyes fill with tears. They spilled fast and smoothly. There was no doubt that they were filled with emotion. Which one exactly? He wasn't sure. He wasn't all too versed on detecting feelings himself.
His free hand grabbed the back of your head and pulled you into his chest. His embrace was quiet, but it spoke more than words could, told you so much more than what his mouth ever could. The softness of his gesture got to you. You crumbled.
And it was then that you really broke down.
"I- I couldn't save her! I couldn't," you choked, "keep them my promise." You sobbed loudly, louder than you had ever sobbed before. "I couldn't save their mother, Katsuki!" Your hands trembled on his chest, the hold you had on his shirt increasing with your cries.
His arms tightened around you, his face buried on your hair at the top of your head. At this moment, he wished he could take away your suffering. He wished he could say something that would calm your heart, but he knew there was nothing he could do other than lend himself to you.
He held you as you choked on your own cries, incoherent words left your hasty mind and aching heart.
It wasn't clear to you when, but at some point you exhausted yourself to sleep. When you opened your eyes, you were resting on top of an almost dozed Bakugou. His shirt was soaked with your tears, his face facing the ceiling as his body rested sideways on the couch. His hold around you still strong, protective.
You pushed yourself up from him, startling him awake in the process. He blinked at you, quickly lifting himself and supporting his body by his elbows. He watched you with a scowl, not liking the fact that you were avoiding his eyes again.
"I'm sorry." You apologized, keeping your eyes glued to the darker spot on your boyfriend's shirt. Said thing only got you a flick on the center of your forehead.
Your hands flew to the damaged spot, rapidly moving your gaze to meet Katsuki's. "What are you saying sorry for, idiot?" You just watched the tender look on his eyes, words not forming. He reached again, pulling you into him. "There's nothing to be sorry for. You tried your best. I bet she's grateful you saved her children."
He felt how you trembled, his embrace around you waist tightening.
You sniffed softly, and let his gentle thumb pick the tear that rolled down your cheek before facing your beloved. You dried the tears that followed with the back of your hand, but it was nearly futile. They just kept coming. You couldn't help it, the aching of your soul echoing through your whole being and forcing them out. Nevertheless, among those tiny tears, you offered him a small smile.
He offered you one of his own, running his hand through your hair. "Let's take a bath and go to bed. You need to rest." The gentleness of his voice was rather foreign for you, but not a complete stranger by any means. Your boyfriend stood, offering his hand to help you out of the couch. And even after helping you out and up, he didn't let go.
Maybe your heart was hurting and your soul mourning a mother that didn't belong to you, but would now never leave your memories. Maybe you wouldn't be able to stop hurting for a while, but with Katsuki by your side you knew you could go through it. This man really didn't know how much of an influence he had on you. He really didn't know that he was, indeed, your safe zone.