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There was something wrong with Taichi, Omi concluded.
For Omi, it was easy to see when a fellow troupe member was under the weather. He had developed a sixth sense, a “ma sense” as Yuki called it, when he was taking care of his younger siblings. Even when he was the Wolf, that part of him never truly went away, especially with Nachi.
With Taichi, it was easy to see something was wrong. He was always so carefree, a force to be reckoned with. All big smiles and immature jokes at the table, even when the morning sun would peek through the windows and everyone was too tired to even think. It was in that way that Taichi reminded him so much of his younger brothers. Perhaps that was why he was always extra worried when something was bothering him.
So when Taichi walked out of their room in the morning without that usual smile and bags under his eyes, Omi immediately asked, “Are you alright?”
The younger male jumped, startled, like he had jumpscared him out of nowhere. As if on instinct he gave Omi the best smile he could muster, “Yeah! I just couldn’t sleep last night is all!”
At the time, Omi had believed that and let out a sigh of relief, “Here, take a pancake.”
“Thank you, Omi-kun!”
-
He had thought Taichi would be back to his usual self when he returned home from school. However, when the Ouka High boys came home, there was a batch of red hair suspiciously absent.
“Taichi? Now that you mention it, I only saw him this morning,” Tenma said.
“Ah… I see. Thanks.”
Juza perked up, “Do you want me to go look for him?”
“No, it’s okay. I’m sure he’s just hanging out with his friends or something.”
The worry that bubbled in Omi chest only grew stronger however. Usually he came home right after school. He would saunter in with Tenma and Juza and tell everyone things that happened in his day, whether it be about a girl from his class or a subject he had a hard time in. In the back of his mind, Omi knew he was being ridiculous, that Taichi probably took a detour to the corner store or something. However, his ma sense knew it was something more than that, and it was related to the reason he was down this morning.
He’ll be back by the time I get home from class, he reasoned with himself. I’ll ask him what’s wrong then. I won’t let him suffer in silence while I watch again.
-
“Omi-kun, thank you for the meal!” Izumi beamed as she set her plate down next to Sakyo’s. The kitchen was lively with various troupe members all tired after a long day.
He smiled back at her, “It’s my pleasure. Enjoy.”
The usual scowl took residence on Sakyo’s face as he looked around, “Where is Nanao?”
Izumi frowned, “Now that you mention it, I haven’t seen him all day.”
“Eh, you guys’re worrying over nothing. I’m sure he’s fine.” Banri piped up. “Why don’t you text him or something, I’m sure he’ll answer.”
“I texted him after I got out of class,” Omi said. “He hasn’t gotten back to me.” As if on cue, the sound of the front door opening alerted everyone in the dorm. It was none other than the boy everyone had been fretting over.
“Welcome home, Taichi-kun,” Izumi said.
Sakyo took on a more expasarated tone, “Where have you been?”
“Ah, hey guys! Sorry, I was skating with some friends and lost track of time!”
“Well, you’re just in time for dinner,” Omi said, pushing away his growing worry.
Taichi’s eyes glimmered at the sight of the food on the counter, “Wow! This looks great, Omi-kun! Thank you!”
And so, the night carried on as it always did. Banri and Juza bickered while Sakyo yapped at them to stop, getting on them to let them eat in peace. Taichi tried to keep the peace as he always did, while people like Sakuya and Tsumugi laughed nervously at the tension. But this was typical for the Autumn troupe, as everyone else knew.
When he glanced over at Taichi, he was joking with everyone at the table, and seemed enthusiastic in helping Yuki wash dishes. Omi didn’t see him again until he got ready for bed. Taichi came in quietly, feet silently hitting the floor. If the room had not been completely silent, he wouldn’t have heard him come in. When they made eye contact Taichi smiled at him as he always did: bright and way too enthusiastically, but it lacked his usual spunk.
“How was skating?” Omi asked from where he was lounging on the couch, phone in hand.
His smile faltered by just an inch, “Uh, it was good!” he said a tad too fast.
Furrowing his brow, he remembered his concern from this afternoon, “Are you doing okay?”
Omi couldn’t see Taichi’s face with his back turned to him, so he couldn’t even imagine what his face looked like at that question, “What do you mean?” he asked after a beat passed.
“I was worried about you this morning,” he admitted, “Back when you were in the God troupe, I suspected you were the one messing with the show.” Taichi turned to look at him then, seemingly listening intently. Omi continued, “I saw that you were hurting, and I did nothing.” He paused, taking a deep breath. “I… don’t want that to happen again, Taichi.” The younger male seemed at a loss for words at that, mouth slightly agape.
Taichi took a deep breath, then he tried to respond, “Omi-kun, I-”
“You don’t have to say anything you don’t want to,” Omi said as he stood up to face Taichi directly, “Just know that I’m here for you, okay?”
He responded by hugging Omi so tightly that some of the air left his lungs, eyes wide and arms in the air out of pure shock. Once he realized the younger male was shaking ever so slightly, Omi wrapped his arms around him in return. Tears wet the front of his shirt, but that was the last thing on his mind as he did his best to comfort Taichi. He took one of his hands and gently patted his head, like he’d done for his own brothers at one point.
Taichi eventually released his death grip and struggled to meet the older man’s eyes as he gave a solemn, “Thanks.”
Pushing back the worry, his lips lifted up into a small smile, “No problem.”
He excused himself then, “I’m gonna take a bath.” He hadn’t given Omi anytime to respond before he was out the door, leaving his mind frazzled.
-
“Ah, Omi-kun, morning,” Tsuzuru said with a sleepy smile as he approached the kitchen. Sunday’s were always filled with a different batch of people each time. Today it was Tsuzuru on breakfast cooking duty. Izumi and Sakyo sat together at the table, which wasn’t surprising, they always ate together. Across from them were Azuma and Homare, and judging by the annoyed look on Sakyo’s face, Homare had been reciting poetry all morning. Sakuya, Misumi and Tenma were watching a cartoon on TV, pointing out the triangles they saw on screen for Misumi.
Tsuzuru pushed a plate of scrambled eggs towards him as he smiled back, “Morning. Thanks for the food.” He had given a curt nod in reply, and Omi saw the tired expression of the other man. “Did you sleep last night?” he asked, lingering at the counter with the plate in his hand.
“Do I look that bad?” he chuckled, “Nah, I was up writing a paper that was due this morning.”
Omi frowned, ma sense kicking in at an all time high, “Make sure you get some rest after this.”
“You just can’t help but fuss over us, can you Omi?” Azuma asked as he walked by to put his empty plate in the sink.
He chuckled sheepishly at the comment, “Force of habit.” He sat down at the table, making eye contact with Sakyo who looked at him fondly.
“You shoulda seen him fussin’ over Nanao yesterday,” Sakyo said with a smirk as Omi took a bite of his eggs.
“Says you,” Izumi added. The blond frowned at the comment, which gets the surrounding troupe members to laugh.
“Oi, can it,” he said, causing Izumi to stick out her tongue at him.
As morning trickled into afternoon more troupe members started to pile in the kitchen for food. Omi took his time to chat with everyone, lounging in a way he doesn’t get to do any other day of the week. He gets a warm feeling in his chest at the domesticity of it all. Years ago, when Nachi died, he spent a long time thinking about how it should’ve been him. These thoughts had plagued his thoughts and dreams day in and day out. That had all changed when he decided to pursue theatre. Nachi would be proud of me, he thought to himself distantly.
Eventually Omi returned to his room with an extra pep in his step. When he opened his door he was greeted by the sight of Taichi, with bed head and still in his pajamas, sitting on the couch with his shoulders shaking and head down. It took a long moment for his brain to process that Taichi was sobbing into his hands.
“Taichi?”
The younger man’s head shot up, spooked, like a wild animal being approached. Still looking in Taichi’s eyes, Omi shut the door behind him slowly. Taichi stared at him, eyes wide while still sniffling, trying to maintain what little composure he had left. However it was for naught, because the more he stared back at Omi, the more his resolve crumbled. The tears were back within seconds. He didn’t even think before he rushed over to the couch to comfort him.
He doesn’t hug Omi back this time as he sat on the couch; just kept his hands covering his face as he sobbed into them. Omi draped his arm over his shaking form, hoping he wouldn’t push him away. Luckily, he seemed to want the comfort, because he leaned into the touch. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the first time Taichi had a panic attack in front of him, and it wouldn’t be the last time. All he could do was rub circles on this back as Taichi tried to even his breathing.
“I’m sorry, Omi-kun,” he said, almost unintelligible by how hard he was sobbing, “I’m so sorry…”
“Sh… Don’t apologize, Taichi. You have nothing to be sorry for.” Somehow, the comment seemed to to make him more overwhelmed. His gasps became sharper and his shaking intensified. I never seem to say the right thing, do I?
Eventually, Taichi moved his hands to sit on his lap, head leaning on Omi’s shoulder as his sobbing turned into light tears down his cheek. Breathing in and out, just as Omi taught him to do when he got like this.
“Are you okay now?” The other man nodded weakly and made a small noise of agreement. Silence overtook the room, the only sound being the light sounds of Taichi’s breathing- still a bit labored from the heavy crying. Seemingly defeated, he rested his head on Omi’s shoulder while the other continued to rub his back soothingly. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” Something like disbelief shone in Taichi’s eyes as craned his neck to look up at the other. “Not just me. All of us, we’re here for you.”
“I... don’t know about that,” he said with a roughness in his voice, looking back down at the hands in his lap. “I don’t deserve this.”
“Deserve what?”
Taichi looked at him again, eyes more intense; angry, as he gestured to the two of them, “Your comfort. Everyone’s comfort.” He sighed heavily, dropping his gaze once more.
Omi racked his brain for the right thing to say. “That’s nonsense, Taichi. You deserve that and so much more.”
“No I don’t!”
He had stood up from where he sat on the couch, fists clenched and voice shaking. Seeing Omi’s shock at his outburst, he tried to calm himself down. He was shaking again, but this time it was more out of anger than it was anxiety. “I don’t. I… If you knew what I was hiding, you wouldn’t say that anymore.” His voice was quiet, like he could barely bring himself to say those words aloud. Shock turned into pure confusion as he studied Taichi’s face. It was red and blotchy, and stray tears still took residence on his face. There was so much hurt in those blue eyes.
They made eye contact for a long time, words hanging heavy in the air until finally Omi spoke. “Taichi, you’re like a brother to me. Whatever this secret is, I’m almost positive it would never bring us apart.” A wet gasp tore from his vocal cords, and Omi knew he was crying again. Omi still sat where he was on the couch, arms resting on his legs. The last thing he wanted to do was get into Taichi’s personal space and overwhelm him. “Please, talk to me. I promise I’ll hear you out.”
Taichi’s gaze bore into him for a few seconds before finally sighing in defeat. His legs carried him back next to Omi on the couch. He visibly gulped before speaking, “Have you ever, um,” he scratched the back of his head before sighing again, “I don’t know how to say this.”
Omi nodded in acknowledgement, “It’s okay. Take your time.”
“Right,” he said, looking back down at his feet, “I just, uh. I’ve been kinda questioning myself for a while now, and I tried to push it down, but I just… can’t. It keeps coming back. No matter what I do, and honestly? It’s been eating at me. A lot,” he turned to face Omi, “I’m so scared, Omi-kun. I’m so afraid that if people find out my secret, they’ll hate me. I finally made friends that I can count on, ya know? And for that to be taken from me… I just can’t live like I used to again. I’d rather live a lie than lose everyone.”
“Taichi…”
“But I feel so guilty!” He clenched his fists in aggravation, looking back down at his balled up fists, “I feel awful lying to them! But if I tell them who I really am, they might not accept me…” Omi saw more tears roll down his cheek, dripping down to his chin and landing on his pajama shirt. “I just don’t know what to do, Omi-kun.”
“I can’t speak for anyone else, but I could never hate you. Me, you, and the autumn troupe, we’re all family, and family hears each other out, like I’m doing with you right now.” Omi placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, and Taichi met his eyes. “We’re here to stay in your life. Whatever secret you have, we’re gonna be here to listen. I promise you that, from the bottom of my heart.”
He seemed to contemplate those words for a long moment afterwards.
“I think I like boys.”
Out of everything Taichi could’ve said in that moment, Omi was not expecting what he actually said. He kept his head hanging low, unable to look into his eyes in shame. “I always thought I liked girls, and I still do!! But ever since The Roman Episode, I realized that I’ve been suppressing these feelings.” He looked to gauge Omi’s reaction, but he showed no signs of disgust. “So, um, I looked it up, and I could be bisexual. But I lied to everyone about it, and it makes me feel all gross inside. Not only that, but everyone else here is straight,” he said. Heaving a heavy sigh, he muttered the words, “I feel all alone again.”
“How do you know everyone else here is straight?” Omi found himself asking before he could think about it.
That caused Taichi to turn back to him in an instant, eyes wide with confusion and something like hope, “What do you mean?”
Omi couldn’t help the warm smile he gave the younger man. He knew what he had to do. He had already faced his past during The Stranger, but there was a part he always left behind. A part he has never told a single person. “Hey, can I tell you a story?”
Taichi furrowed his brows in confusion, but nodded slowly anyway. Omi took that as a sign to finally open the chapter of his life with Nachi that never got a conclusion.
-
The night air was cool on Omi’s skin. He took his time to breathe it in, taking in the smell of the salty sea. Distantly, he felt his knuckles aching from a fight earlier in the day, but he couldn’t be bothered to care while sat under the moons tranquility. Of course, the presence of Nachi on the side of him staring up at the stars was a plus.
They were sat in the sand, no one else in sight except the twinkling stars in the clear deep blue sky. The only light source being the bright moon, full and proud, completing the beautiful portrait up above. There was another beautiful portrait sat next to him, but he would’ve rather shriveled up in embarrassment before he vocalized those thoughts.
Instead, he vocalized a different thought, “Is there a reason you wanted to come here in the middle of the night?”
Nachi’s laugh was breathy, directing his attention from the sky to Omi, “Does there have to be a reason? Maybe I just wanted a moment of peace with you.”
He tried to push down his smile at that comment, but he failed spectacturaily, “Don’t fuck around with me. I know you way too well. You got something to say.”
“Maybe I do.”
“Well? You gonna say it or am I gonna have to throw sand at you to make you say it?”
He faked a gasp in response to the threat, “You wouldn’t.” To disprove his point, Omi grabbed a fistful of sand and held it in a throwing position, and Nachi held his arms over his face even though the sand was slowly trickling out of his hand. “Okay, okay! You would! I admit defeat!”
“Nachi. You’re stalling,” he said as he let the rest of the sand fall from his fist.
“Yeah, yeah. You could learn to be a bit more patient ya know.” When Omi gave him the look, Nachi knew it was time to stop messing around. he brought his knees to his chest and said, “In truth, I have a confession to make.”
Omi furrowed his brows at that, “What did you do this time?”
The other pursed his lips at that, and dammit, a grown mans pout shouldn’t be that cute. “I didn’t do anything! Damn Wolf, have more faith in me!” he whined, then turned to look in Omi’s eyes with a fond expression that made the butterflies in his stomach flutter. “Wolf, no... Omi. I’m in love with you, man. That’s all I wanted to say.”
He blinked, unable to tell if what his long time crush said to him was true. If the ethereal man in front of him was actually confessing his love to him. The scene was so utterly romantic, so Nachi, that he couldn’t help the light laugh that escaped past his lips.
“H-Hey! Don’t laugh!” he said, turning beat red.
“Sorry, sorry. Just couldn’t help it,” Omi said, suddenly too aware of how close Nachi was to him, “We’re the Wild Wolves, and you’re confessin’ to me like a school girl.”
“Oh, shaddup! How would you prefer I do it!?”
Omi feigned a thinking face, “Actually, I don’t think I’d have it any other way,” he said, putting his hand on Nachi’s shoulder. That was the truth. They were strong for the Wolves, but on the inside they were still just Omi and Nachi, sitting by the riverbed. Nachi had remained unchanged through out it all, and though Omi’s exterior was rough, he was the same doting person he had always been. He leaned in, slowly so Nachi could still pull away if he wanted, and under the moonlight of a summer night, they shared their first, and last kiss.
-
“We never got the chance to be anything more,” Omi said, while the younger male listened attentively, “He died one week later. The only thing on my mind after that was avenging him.” Taichi was looking at him the way Omi had looked at him before- with pity. “I haven’t fallen in love since. My sexuality was always something confusing. All I knew back then was that I loved him,” he said, and then glanced back at Taichi, “Well? Do you think less of me because I loved a man? Or because I ‘hid’ it from everyone?”
Taichi’s eyes went wide in panic, “N-No way! I still think you’re the coolest guy ever!”
Omi smiled at how earnest and fast that response was, “Then all I ask is you think of yourself in the same regard. I’ve never told anyone else that story before… but you inspired me to be brave,” he said, fiercely meeting his gaze, “I’m so proud of you Taichi, and when you decide to come out to everyone else, I’m going to be right behind you, supporting you. Because you’re not alone anymore.”
By the time he finished his mini speech, Taichi was on the verge of tears again. Omi extended his arms, an invitation for a hug, which the other accepted readily. For all the tears Taichi had spilled that day, Omi only had one single tear roll down his cheek at that moment. The two stayed in their embrace for a long while. Here, they were safe. This was their home now. While those words were meant for Taichi, they applied to Omi as well. He wasn’t alone anymore. Not with Taichi looking up to him, and not with the autumn troupe having his back.
“Omi-kun…” Taichi broke the comfortable silence, “Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it.”
Taichi pulled away from Omi and gave a reluctant smile, the first time Omi had seen him smile all day, “Sorry for making you worry…”
“Hey, you have nothing to be sorry about, but if it’ll make you feel better, then I forgive you,” he said, “and I promise I won’t tell anyone about your secret. It’s safe with me.”
“I know,” Taichi said, and he felt so warm inside that he trusted him so much. “Man, I feel gross. I think I’m gonna go wash my face,” he chuckled.
“Let me get you some water before you do,” he said, ma instinct kicking back in at full effect. Taichi nodded, opening his mouth to say something but closing it a second later.
“What is it?” Omi asked, hand on the door knob.
“I just wanted to say thanks again… for being so cool about it.”
“Of course,” he said. Wanting to lighten the mood, he smirked, “I’ll be honest, I was a bit surprised when you told me, but considering all those times I caught you checking out Juza and Banri, I shouldn’t have been.”
And now not only was Taichi red from crying, but he had a deep red blush covering his face and the tips of his ears, “Omi-kun!!! Stop!” he wailed. Omi’s boisterous laughter rung out as he opened the door.
At that moment, he almost walked head first into the director. She made a noise of surprise, and then waved. “Omi-kun! Is Taichi-kun doing okay in there? I haven’t seen him all day!”
To that, he gave a knowing smile only he knew was there, “Yeah, he’s gonna be just fine.”