Work Text:
{4/12/13}
I felt alone in that second. Well, I suppose I was alone in that second. It was just my TARDIS and me. I had heard the knocking so many times.
“Your song is ending, sir… It is returning. It is returning through the dark and then Doctor, oh, but then…He will knock four times.“
From the moment I heard Carmen say those words, I denied them to myself.
Was this girl in the hood serving as a means to make me feel less alone? Truth be told, the way she looked at me, made me feel even more alone. I didn’t know her, she didn’t know me.
After saying goodbye to everyone that currently meant something to me, I was angry. Not to mention, sad and confused.. I didn’t want to go.
"Oi, what do you want?” I asked her.
She appeared everywhere I went on my goodbye tour. I knew it was impossible because she didn’t seem like a time traveller, but she would have had to be to show herself at Donna’s wedding, at Powell Estate, on Bannerman Road.
“I’ve come to tell you you are not alone, Doctor. I know you feel alone, but you aren’t.”
“Not alone, huh? Then explain this to me: Why? Why is it that everyone I know and love either doesn’t know who I am yet,” I said, as flashes of Jackie and Rose walking outside of Powell Estate play in my mind, “or they don’t remember me. They are in another world or they just plain chose to go.”
“It’s because you let them, Doctor. Do you know that any of those people would have stayed by your side if you had asked them to? You let them go, just like you have let so many in your past go.”
“Ok, then. Wait a second. Who the bloody hell are you?”
“I am no one. I don’t serve a purpose to anyone but you. I was created for you.”
I had to believe her. No one who saw me on my last goodbyes seemed to have noticed her there.
“Let me explain myself further, Doctor. I have no name or an identity, at least not yet. I am here because you need me to be. You need me to guide you. You are never meant to be alone. You have never been alone, nor will you ever be. Even if you and your TARDIS are empty inside. You will always have the same hearts, regardless of how much you change. You will always have the memories of Rose, Martha, Donna and of companions past. You will have new companions. You will lose some and gain some, but you will never forget them or stop caring for them, nor will they for you. Not even Donna.
"We will meet again, Doctor. Very soon. Just remember.”
At that point, I didn’t know what to think. I needed to keep running and to remember.