Archive of Our Own

Fandom: Pacific Rim

Prompt: “Aren’t there four of you?”

Raleigh’s gonna be honest, alright, he’s not the best at keeping tabs on all of his friends. It’s just…okay, let’s do a roll call real quick. 

Mako Mori. The actual incarnation of some ancient warrior goddess who can kick ass in literally every single way possible. Raleigh’s not sure what kind of thing she’s teaching right now because it changes every single week, apparently, or maybe that’s just because his attention span is not great, but he’s always willing to listen to her talk about everything and anything. He’s been her training partner more often than not, and he’s always there is volunteer if she needs someone for her self-defense videos. 

Newton Geiszler. If not the actual embodiment of the manic research spirit that makes you want to go on Wikipedia odysseys at three in the morning, then he’s pretty damn close. He hasn’t checked, but he’s pretty sure all that’s running through Newt’s veins at any given point is caffeine. Although according to Newt, it’s ‘ramen, red bull, and spite, dude.’ The man’s a genius; he’s got at least thirty publications calling him at any given moment, inviting him to conferences and whatnot, just to talk about whatever breakthrough’s he’s made now. Raleigh’s not quite sure when he’s gonna just become a full-time supervillain, but he’s promised to bring them all along so there’s that. 

Hermann Gottlieb. If Newt’s the embodiment of a Spider-Man villain come to life, Hermann’s right up there as the classic film noir specialist. Or something straight out of Arthur Conan Doyle. The man can see things and understand things that fly straight over Raleigh’s head. He’s pulled more explanations and mathematical solutions to just about every mundane problem in existence than Raleigh can keep track of. He’s not entirely sure how Hermann keeps all of that in his head, but he sure as hell doesn’t let anything slow him down, including ableists who’d rather not give him the time of day. 

So yeah. Keeping track of all of them is more than enough of a brain workout. There are so many different things that Raleigh’s so proud of them for; Mako’s the first woman to open her own self-defense studios where they live, Newt’s published in more scientific journals than Raleigh can count, and Hermann’s rewriting the goddamn universe. They’re fantastic people. 

But sometimes…sometimes it’s too much. 

Raleigh’s not what you’d think of when you see the three of them out there changing the world. You’d expect some kind of next-level big brain to keep up with them or at the very least some other kind of big accomplishment. Olympics, American Ninja Warrior, something. But nope. You just get Raleigh. 

He’s no genius, he’s no athlete. He wasn’t top of his class in anything. He got good grades, sure, and he can follow most of what they talk about, but if you can’t explain it to a six-year-old, do you really understand it?

Nah, Raleigh’s not anything special. And sometimes…sometimes that gets a little tiring. 

When Newt groans and slams his head down on the table, Raleigh’s always the first one by his side, asking if he’s alright, who do they need to tell Mako to punch, does Hermann need to artfully explain why they’re idiots at a mathematical level?

“Nah,” Newt mutters into the tabletop, reaching out a hand to swat Raleigh off, “everything’s fine. Just got the third version of this letter in a fucking week.”

Raleigh glances at it, then carefully reaches out and picks it up. Mako and Hermann watch curiously as Newt rubs his head. 

“…Newt, this is—“

“An invitation to the science gala in Switzerland, yeah.”

Raleigh’s eyes go wide as he reads the other guest list. He’s no expert, but even he recognizes some of these names. They’re…wow, this is like red carpet style of science things if this letter is to be believed. Yet when he looks up, he sees Mako and Hermann have already lost interest. 

“So…you’re not gonna go?”

Newt huffs. “Hell no. Those things get boring after the first twenty.”

“And here I thought they were tedious after the first ten,” Hermann sighs, adjusting his glasses, “I could never find enough actually intelligent people to talk to.”

“Well, sometimes you get lucky and they put you with the others right off the bat,” Newt says, idly toying with his sillystraw, “but sometimes you gotta go find ‘em.”

“And sometimes,” Mako sighs, turning a page in her book, “they aren’t there at all.”

“Here here.”

“And that’s the tea, sis.”

Raleigh, meanwhile, is still clutching the letter. They…wow, this really is every day for them, isn’t it? It’s just like that. They…huh. 

“Hey, tall dark and blond, you okay over there?”

Raleigh blinks. Newt’s staring up at him and he realizes he’s still holding the letter. 

“Y-yeah,” he coughs, setting it aside, “just…reading what else is in here.”

Newt groans again. “So much fluff text. Honestly, if they’re gonna be no better than a freaking NPC they can at least make their flavor text interesting.”

Mako snorts. Raleigh’s smile tugs up in a halfhearted grin before he makes some lame excuse and heads to his bedroom. Their penthouse is large enough that he can close his door and ensure no one in the living room will hear him. 

He looks around. His room isn’t like the others’. There’s no mathematically precise explosion of textbooks, no precariously balanced beakers, and flasks, or even artfully minimalist discipline. Nope. It’s…it’s just a room. With Star Trek memorabilia in one corner and a large pile of soft blankets in the other. He’s got his desk with his laptop and a Portal sticker Newt gave him. No awards. No recognitions. No nothing. 

That’s okay. 

Is it?

Raleigh’s gonna confess something. he’s never really been a big dreamer. And he’s okay with that, truly, he is. He doesn’t need a whole lot to make him happy, he’s content with a stable job and a good family. And good food. God, he’s happy this penthouse has a decent kitchen. And that’s really all he needs. All he wants. He doesn’t wanna confuse himself with the dreams of others, having them get him convinced he wants something when he really doesn’t. 

But sometimes, yeah okay, sometimes he wants to be the person they send those invites. He wants a chance to go a be surrounded by people who think he’s got more than enough to keep up with the best of them. Sometimes he wants people to look at him, not just Mako, Newt, and Hermann. 

Sometimes he wants to feel like he fits with them. 

But he doesn’t. Not really, not like that. So he…compromises. 

He makes sure they’re looking snappy whenever they do decide they’re going to one of the many fancy things they get invited to and tries not to feel too underdressed in his jeans and sweater. He makes sure they’ve always got a listening ear when they need to sort through their thoughts, listening patiently as they talk through it for six hours, offering snacks, and smiling as they work it out themselves, always feeling like maybe, maybe he could’ve helped more if he could understand what was happening. He makes sure that he’s always there when they stumble when the critics get too harsh, both inside and out. He tells them how much he appreciates them while knowing damn well that approval doesn’t really mean shit. But he’s never really been good at vomiting back whatever drivel comes out of a critic’s mouth, he’s better at speaking from the heart. And it’s worth it to see those shaky smiles get stronger. 

So it’s okay if they forget to call him when they’re supposed to have a night out together. They’ve got more important things to worry about. 

So it’s okay if they’re in the middle of explaining something to each other and wave him off when he tries to ask a question. He doesn’t want to slow them down. 

So it’s okay if the three of them hold little competitions about their awards and forget he’s still in the room. They don’t do it very often anyway, almost always on Friday nights when they’ve bought way too much alcohol. 

It’s fine that they’ve got one rack in their closet dedicated to snappy suits and a few dresses. And the fanciest thing in Raleigh’s closet is the blazer he wears to his office parties. 

It’s fine that they come home and flop on each other, groaning sympathetically as Raleigh passes out the warm drinks and settles in for another night of venting. 

It’s fine that they joke about missing a gala in Switzerland because those get boring after the first ten or twenty. 

He adores his family. And he couldn’t be prouder of the little things they keep inside the walls of their penthouse. Like the fact that Hermann can rival any pastry chef with how well he bakes. Or how Mako can do the best dramatic reading of any book they put in front of her, even if her favorite one is Sherlock Holmes. Or how Newt will insist they watch a horror movie on movie night and then suddenly remember he’s absolutely terrified of them and suddenly they’re all wrapped around each other in a massive cuddle pile. 

He likes those moments and he always uses them to make himself feel a little less like shit. He knows he can always count on them to cheer him up when he’s feeling bad, so he tries to be there for them. 

It’s just hard sometimes, you know?

Like this weekend. There’s some big charity fundraiser that they’ve been invited to, probably through some work connection. They’re supposed to be having a Skype call about it tomorrow. He knows Mako’s not super comfortable talking over video chat. He knows Hermann isn’t too keen on customer service at the best of times. He knows Newt doesn’t really like using his brain space for logistics. So in a few minutes, he’s gonna go back and make sure they’re all ready for it tomorrow. 

Sure enough, by the time he gets back, Newt’s tapping out a frantic rhythm on his knees, Hermann is folding and unfolding his glasses, and Mako is staring pointedly at nothing. 

Raleigh glances around the room and finds Newt’s sweater, draping it carefully over the smaller man’s shoulders and placing a fidget on the table next to him. He takes Mako’s latest sketchbook and a pencil and lays them on the couch next to her. He finds the tin of cleaner and a rag and hands them to Hermann along with his cane. Then he heads to the kitchen. 

He’s no Hermann, but he can make chocolate chip cookies. He assembles the ingredients on the counter and starts baking. He keeps himself facing the rest of the room so they can see that he’s still here and he can glance up every now and then to gauge how they’re all doing. If he needs to stop and go sit next to Mako, or give Hermann a hand, or talk quietly to Newt. 

Mako’s pencil is flying over her sketchbook. Hermann’s hands move with practiced ease over the smooth surface of his cane. Newt’s brow is furrowed in concentration as his fingers fidget. Raleigh smiles. 

The cookies are really easy to make. Like, really easy. Hermann could probably do it in his sleep. But Raleigh likes the reassurance of the list. It’s one of the first things that they all made together once they moved in, and the recipe is littered with evidence. 

Fluffy Chocolate Chippers:

          Really, Newton?

          hell ye dude

• 1 stick of butter, melted
• 1/2 cup of granulated white sugar
• 1/4 cup of brown sugar, lightly packed
• 1 egg
• 1 teaspoon vanilla essence
• 1 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon of baking soda
• 1/4 teaspoon of salt
• 3/4 cup of semi-sweet chocolate chips

          can u tell makos the one who wrote this out

Preheat the oven to 350ºF (175ºC). 

Melt the butter for 50 seconds on high in the microwave.

          make sure it doesnt fuckin explode in butter bubbles

Mix the butter and the sugar together until creamy. 

Add the vanilla and the egg; beat well. 

Add the dry ingredients (flour, baking soda, and salt) and mix until fully combined. 

          DO NOT overmix at this stage, you will have a chance to beat further once the chocolate is added. If overmixed, the mixture will become tough. 

Add the chocolate pieces and mix. 

Using a small spoon, approximately the size of a teaspoon, create little balls out of the dough to place on a cookie sheet, ensuring about 1/2 inch of space between them. 

          so u dont need to grease the pan. sorry herms

          The cookies will not spread out that much as they bake, so they can be quite close. 

Depending on how dark your tray, or how quickly things cook, bake at 9-11 minutes. 

          OUR TRAY IS DARK LEAVE THOSE FUCKERS IN FOR S I X MINUTES

Allow to cool on a cooling rack before serving. 

          Newton, did you read this last part?

                                                  no

Raleigh always has to suppress a smile at that last part, the memory of Newt enthusiastically chomping down on a cookie only to yelp from the chocolate burning his tongue is not one he’ll forget in a while. 

As the cookies take shape under his hands, the others start migrating toward the counter. Mako comes first, setting aside her sketchbook and propping her chin upon her hands. By the time Raleigh’s slid the tray into the oven, Newt comes next, bringing his fidget with him and resting his head on Mako’s shoulder. When he’s just about finished wiping down the counters and putting all the containers away, settling the last cookies on the cooling rack, Hermann joins them, lacing his fingers through Mako’s left hand. As Raleigh rinses off the pan and slots it away, he turns to take three small plates and carefully selects a cookie for each of them. 

For Hermann, he picks his prize winner. The one with the perfectly domed top, just the right golden brown color, and the one that’s the closest to being perfectly circular. 

For Mako, the one that’s the lumpiest. She told them about how she makes dumplings with her adoptive father, whom she calls Sensei, and that the one made of the mismatched scraps of dough after cutting all the others out is always her favorite. 

For Newt, the one with the most chocolate. Obviously. 

Newt’s happy flap with the cookie in his mouth makes Raleigh smile, as does Mako’s happy little hum and Hermann’s nod of approval. He takes one for himself. Come on, it’s chocolate chip cookies, what was he supposed to do, not?

Newt barrels around the end of the counter and just about knocks him over in a hug. 

“Easy there, bud,” Raleigh chuckles, “let’s not brain ourselves on the kitchen cabinets again, huh?”

“That was one time!”

“One time too many.”

“These are excellent,” Hermann says, reaching for another, “and just what we needed.”

“You say that as if Raleigh does not always know what we need,” Mako says, also reaching for another. 

“Yeah, dude, you got superpowers or somethin’?”

Raleigh shakes his head. “Nope. Just know the healing power of cookies.”

The batch vanishes in half an hour, along with most of the worries about the call. 

The next day, Raleigh helps them get everything set up and discreetly withdraws to his room. Buoyed by the warm feelings from last night, he settles into the newest article his brother sent him. Only to frown when there’s a banging on his door a few moments later. 

He gets up, worried, only to meet a frowning Newt, Hermann, and Mako outside. 

“Is something wrong?”

“Uh, yeah, you disappeared, dude.” Newt taps his foot impatiently. “Why’d you go ghost?”

“Gonna catch ‘em all.”

“No distracting me with hilarious bullshit,” Newt says, stabbing a finger into Raleigh’s chest, “where’d you go?”

“My…room?”

“Guys, help.”

“Why did you leave?” Mako tilts her head. 

“Uh, don’t you guys have a call?”

“Yes.”

“Didn’t want to be in the way.” Raleigh shrugs. 

“Yeah, but why—“ Hermann smacks his forehead. “Oh, dear. Raleigh, you do know you’re a part of this call, yes?”

Raleigh blinks. “Uh, no?”

“Well considering we’re getting it because of you, dude, uh, yeah, you’re part of it.” 

Raleigh’s mouth drops open at Newt’s words. “Are we sure we’re talking about the same call?”

“The one for the charity ball this weekend that we got contacted for through your organization on behalf of their regional reports manager, yes.” Newt takes Raleigh’s hand and starts pulling him toward the living room, not making much headway. “Dude, you’re like a fucking tank, you gotta work with me here.”

“Wh-what?”

“Well, we started the call, then the dude went ‘wait, aren’t there four of you?’ and then we realized you went poof, and seriously dude, you’re not gonna make me drag you the whole way, are you?”

Raleigh’s too frozen to move. Mako steps closer and looks up at him, concerned. “What is wrong?”

“Wh-why did they want me?”

Hermann frowns. “Because…you work for them?”

“And do a kick-ass job of it?”

“Is that not enough?”

“Isn’t it?” 

Raleigh slaps a hand over his mouth and curses. But it’s too late. Even Newt’s stopped trying to drag him to the living room. 

“Raleigh?” Mako takes his other hand in hers. “Will you tell us what is happening?”

He swallows. Here goes nothing. 

“Look, I love you guys. So much.”

“The feeling is mutual.”

“It is indeed.”

“We love you too, dude. Wait, you’re not breaking up with us, are you?”

“No,” Raleigh assures, shaking his head, “but I just…I’m not like you guys. I’m no genius or a badass. I’m just Raleigh.”

He takes another deep breath, his cheeks flushing. “I—I can’t do all the amazing stuff you guys do. I don’t get invited to these things. I don’t. And you guys do and that’s great and all, but I—I—I’m just here. And I’m happy to be here but that’s…I think that’s all it’s ever gonna be.“

“Who told you that?”

Raleigh’s chin is guided up to meet a furious Hermann. 

“Who told you you weren’t good enough?” 

“Wh-what?”

“Who told you,” Hermann repeats, “that you were not good enough for us? For you?”

“Who the fuck told you that, Raleigh,” Newt growls, “because I’m gonna kick their asses.”

“You will not be alone,” Mako says cooly, “I would like to have words with them as well.”

“You, Raleigh Beckett,” Newt growls, stepping forward, “are more than enough. You kick ass every goddamn day and that’s fucking awesome.”

“You are one of the only people I know who can balance their work life and their personal life,” Hermann says, “and I admire how well you perform in both.”

“You are kind,” Mako says, “relentlessly so. And your skills at mediating personal conflicts are unparalleled.”

“We’d fucking fall apart without you, dude,” Newt says, “and what’s this bullshit about not being good at work too? Have you heard how these fuckers talk about you?”

“They do have a habit of going on,” Hermann muses, “the one on the phone was dismayed when you did not appear.”

“He should be,” Mako says, “Raleigh is most important.”

Fuck, he’s either gonna fall over or start crying and he would prefer neither if that’s perfectly alright with the universe.

Or we could do both. Yeah okay fine sure whatever isn’t this great. 

Mako catches him. Of course, she catches him. Newt’s fluttering about anxiously for somewhere to hold onto him and Hermann guides him away from banging his head on the wall. 

“We love you,” Mako says softly, “and you are more than enough for us.”

“And even if you weren’t all that and the kitchen sink, which you are,” Newt agrees, “you’d still be more than enough for us.”

“And believe me,” Hermann says, “just because you are not in a profession that doles out awards left and right does not mean you are not as worthy of them as us.”

“Oh dude, if you were, you’d have more than we all do combined.”

“Guys,” Raleigh says weakly. 

“Oh come on like you don’t start compliment trains.”

“He has a point,” Mako giggles, “and you don’t tend to stop those for a while.”

“Hey wait a fucking minute, have we ever done a Raleigh compliment train?”

“Guys!”

“No. No, we have not.”

“Not to my recollection.”

“No, guys, if we—we gotta call—are they still on the phone?”

“Oh, fuck.”

“Well, yes.”

“Then it is settled,” Mako says easily. “We will finish this call with all four of us and then we will have a Raleigh compliment train.”

“And then we’re doing your outfit first. ‘Cause you always help us so it’s our turn now.”

Raleigh finally heaves himself up off the floor, unable to stop grinning. “I don’t think I’ve got anything near fancy enough.”

“Then we’re going shopping. You act like this is a problem.”

“Call first, Newton.”

“Right.”