Archive of Our Own

“But dad!”

Bill let out a deep sigh and rolled his eyes at his son’s whining plea. They had just finished eating dinner, and Bill stood at the kitchen sink washing dishes. His son was next to him, drying the dishes as Bill passed them to him. He could feel a headache coming on and silently decided he deserved a nice glass of scotch and a cigar for managing to keep his attitude in check. This was a rare moment when Bill wished his son was still nonverbal. 

“You’ve been begging since you got home from school.” Bill interrupted. “And my answer is still the same.” He interrupted his son’s whining and handed him another plate. 

“But dad, you don’t understand!.” Brian quickly retorted, grabbing the plate from his father.

“Didn’t that school assembly teach you that no means no?” Bill questioned rhetorically, smirking at what he thought was a funny comeback. 

Brian let out a huff at his dad’s remark. “Dad, I’m going to get made fun of at school if my friends come over for my birthday party and see that I don’t have a game to play.”

“Then, get new friends.” Bill reasoned, problem solved. 

“I won’t be able to get new friends because they’ll spread it around school.” Brian explained. “You’re the one that wanted me to have friends, and I’m trying to do as you told me to.” Brian added and Bill looked over at his son. “...like a good son.”

“Nice try, but psychology is kind of my thing. Profiler, remember?” Bill raised his hand to ruffle Brian’s hair. Brian sulked and let out another huff as Bill ruffled his dark hair.

“You know, gaming can be educational.” Bill looked over at his husband, who was leaning against the counter on the other side of Brian. Holden was holding his beer from dinner and with the other hand gave Brian a pat on the shoulder. Bill narrowed his eyes at the man as he rambled on. “The games can teach many skills: time management, decision-making, driving.” He added and gave Bill a smirk. That little shit.

“Thank you, oh husband. What would we do without your wise input?” Bill deadpanned as Holden took a sip of his beer. 

“See!” Brian exclaimed. “Pops understands.” 

Bill looked away from his son to look at Holden. The younger man was still genuinely listening to Brian’s argument for a gaming system. He showed no reaction to Brian’s remark...well, almost no reaction. He could see that the smirk turned into a small smile and there was definitely a twinkle in his eyes, but Bill was glad Holden wasn’t making a big deal out of Brian finally calling him pops.

Holden hadn’t been formally introduced to Brian as Bill’s lover until almost a year after they started dating. Bill saw his son as fragile and didn’t think a new person in his life would be a good idea. The divorce was rough for all involved, but more so for Brian. His ex-wife decided to give him full custody and gave up her parental rights. Apparently, she’d had enough of taking care of a special needs kid. When Brian realized he lost his mother, Bill didn’t ever think he’d get his happy boy back. Holden knew about Brian being nonverbal and when Holden told him about the abuse he suffered prior to his adoption and his ex-wife giving him up, Holden agreed that they should wait to reveal the relationship. 

Brian slowly introduced the concept of Holden to Brain. He started out as a co-worker that Bill would talk about and then Holden became the friend he would mention whenever something happened that reminded him of Holden. Bill then explained that Holden was his special friend and he also wanted to be Holden’s special friend. He explained that he ‘ liked liked’ Holden and hoped Holden ‘liked liked’ him. Brian soundlessly walked out of the room, leaving Bill to wallow in his communication failure, but Brian soon returned with a piece of paper in his hand. Brian walked up to Bill, who was sitting on the couch, and shoved the piece of paper in Bill’s face. Bill took the paper and realized it was a drawing of a heart. Bill’s name was on one side and Holden’s misspelled name was on the other side. Bill felt a lump in his throat as he admired his son’s drawing. Bill looked up at Brian and silently nodded. In a surprising move, Brian moved forward and hugged his dad. Not only did Brian understand, but this also felt like an acceptance. Bill finally felt confident that they would be alright.

A few weeks later, Holden finally met Brian and the initial meeting went better than Bill expected. Brian’s silence didn’t seem to bother Holden, there was no awkwardness between the two, and Brian seemed to like that Holden didn’t push him on any subject.

Holden essentially moved into Bill’s home after they revealed their relationship to Brian. Surprisingly, his son took to Holden rather quickly. Brian would let Holden touch his toys and play with him which made Bill a little jealous, because he still couldn’t touch Brain’s transformers without getting screamed at. It wasn’t long before he heard Brian’s happy squeal and bubbly giggle again.

Holden would also help him with his at-home speech therapy exercises. He had the patience of a saint and didn’t let Brian get too upset when he had a setback. It seemed Brian needed Holden just as much as he did. Holden helped them both come out of their respective shells and now...the boy wouldn’t shut up about getting some game.

“How much does this thing cost?” Bill sighed. He was going to have to at least consider this in order to pacify Brian.

“The xbox and playstation cost about four hundred dollars each.” Holden answered. 

“Plus the games.” Brian quickly added.

“Four hundred-Jesus Christ!” Bill looked over at Brian and Holden. “You know, I can teach Brian all of those skills you mentioned for about twenty bucks and a 6-pack.” 

“But who has the time, am I right?” Holden joked and Brian agreed. “Let’s let technology raise our children.”

“Yes!” Brian exclaimed in agreement. His parents doubted he knew what he was agreeing to.

“We’ll think about it.” Bill sighed and ruffled Brian’s hair again just to slightly annoy his kid. “We’ll finish this. You go and finish your homework.” Bill ordered and Brian happily skipped out of the kitchen.

Bill watched Brian leave the kitchen before turning to his husband. Holden was smiling at him from behind his beer bottle.

“You know you’re in trouble, right?” Bill smirked at Holden’s dramatic sigh. The younger man threw his hand over his heart in fake shock at Bill’s words.

“Me? In trouble? What did I do?” Holden struggled to keep his laughter inside. He moved closer to Bill so he was pressed against his husband. “I was just trying to help my baby boy.”

Bill finished drying the few remaining dishes before turning to Holden. “You’re my husband. You’re supposed to take my side.” Bill leaned over and pressed a kiss to Holden’s lips.

Holden shrugged. “But Brian is cuter and you know I hate to see him sad. I’ve never handled his tears well.” He explained before leaning in for another kiss. “And a playstation could be fun...you’d finally learn how to drive.”

Bill scoffed. “I know how to drive.”

“Yeah.” Holden smirked. “Like a bat out of hell.” Holden said and took a swig of his beer.

“I should spank you for that.” Bill said in a low voice and Holden winked.

“All I’m saying is only one of us is accident-free.” Holden then started to walk off as if he’d just hit a three pointer from the corner of the court. Bill took this opportunity to quickly smack Holden on his backside, promising more later, before he walked out.

The rest of the night was largely uneventful as the trio followed their well-established nighttime routine. After Brian was finished with his homework, he and Holden watched their favorite reality game show while Bill grumbled about how stupid this was before reading his paper and nursing his well-earned scotch. Brian began to doze off, so Bill helped his son to his room to get ready for bed while Holden cleaned up the living room.

Bill helped Brian get ready for bed and tucked him in for the night. He left Brian’s door cracked, giving Brian one more look before turning away. He made his way down the hall to his shared bedroom with a grin on his face, fully intending to give Holden that punishment he earned. Bill licked his lips as he turned to enter the bedroom. He had an idea of how he was going to get Holden bent over his lap, but the idea immediately left his mind when he saw Holden sitting on the bed. 

He was already dressed for bed, wearing one of Bill’s T-shirts and pajama pants, and his face was buried in his hands. Bill could hear soft sobs from Holden and the bits of Holden’s face that he could see were red and wet with tears. 

“Baby.” Bill gasped and quickly crossed the room. He sat down on the bed next to Holden and wrapped his arms around him. Holden made a surprised yelp as Bill pulled him onto his lap. “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Bill reached up to pull Holden’s hands away from his face.

Holden shook his head. “Nothing. I-it’s stupid.”

“Holden.” Bill wiped the tears from his cheek.

“Promise not to make fun of me.” Holden demanded and Bill nodded.

“I promise.” 

Holden’s face scrunched up as he started to cry again. “He called me Pops.” Holden sobbed and Bill smiled at him.

“Oh, Holden.” Bill leaned in to press a kiss against his temple. A smile formed on his face as he realized these were happy tears. 

Holden sniffled. “I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it because you know how Brian gets when we blow things out of proportion.” Holden explained. Bill nodded, remembering the last time Brian shut down due to their teasing. “But Bill…” Holden moved to bury his face in Bill’s neck. Bill could feel his neck becoming wet with tears. He reached up to rub at Holden’s back in an attempt to calm him down.

“I know you’re excited, but remember to breathe.” Bill reminded Holden. He didn’t want him to start hyperventilating. “We talked about this happening.”

“I know, but it’s different when it actually happens.” Holden quickly added. “And it was so easy for him. Pops just rolled off the tongue. It wasn’t forced. He thought about it and that’s what he wanted to call me and it just...came out of his mouth. I’m his pops. I…” He tried to explain his feelings to Bill, but he didn’t feel like he could properly articulate how happy he was. “I wonder how long he thought about it before he said it?” Holden sniffed. “What if he was worried I wouldn’t like being referred to as his pops?” Holden asked and Bill snorted. 

“Brian loves you and you are his father. You know Brian marches to the beat of his own drum.” Bill reminded him.

Holden nodded. “I just hope I didn’t give off the impression-.”

“Never.” Bill interrupted as he hugged Holden closer to his chest. “Oh Holden, my little idiot.”

“You said you wouldn’t make fun of me.” Holden reminded him,

“I said I wouldn’t make fun of you for telling me why you were crying, not everything else.” Bill chuckled. Before Holden could mount a response, a sleepy Brian appeared in the open doorway. Bill was so caught up with Holden that he forgot to shut the door.

“Can I hav-Pops is crying!” Brian was awake and alert when Holden raised his head and he saw the tear stains on his cheeks. Brian ran over to his parents and threw his arms around Holden. “Please don’t cry.”

“Oh Bri.” Holden moved to wrap an arm around his son. “I’m okay. I’m okay.” Holden looked at Bill and smirked. “I’m just sad that I’m going to lose my cool dad status with your friends because your father won’t buy the PlayStation.” Holden sniffled and Bill narrowed his eyes at the younger man.

“Dad, we have to get a PlayStation now. Pops can’t be sad.” Brian reasoned and Holden nodded in agreement. 

“You’re in so much trouble.” Bill whispered to Holden and the younger man shrugged.

“Shouldn’t have called me an idiot.” Holden responses before turning back to Brian. 

“What did you need, Bri?” Holden asked. 

“Oh, I just wanted some water.” Brian answered.

“Come on.” Holden slid off Bill’s lap and started out of the room. “Let’s get some water and talk about all the games your dad is going to buy.” Holden turned around to throw Bill a wink before walking out of their bedroom.

Bill let out a sigh as he threw himself back onto their bed, smiling as he looked up at the ceiling. 

He wouldn’t trade his little family for anything...even if he was about to spend five hundred dollars on a fucking game.