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Dirk is woken up by the sound of his name and his shoulder being shaken not quite as gently as he could have hoped for. He grunts sleepily in reply and pushes at the culprit. He gets a huff and a whined: “Dirk. Wake up.”
“What’s wrong, Jake?” Dirk rouses and looks to the clock, 4:37 am blinks in fluorescent green. “It’s hella early, man.”
“Right, sorry, mate, I just…” Jake takes a deep breath, “Thought you might want some cereal.” Dirk looks at Jake, studying his face. He’s sitting up on his side of the bed, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth; he’s nervous- no. He’s scared. Dirk pulls himself up to get a better look at his boyfriend.
“Cereal?” Dirk asks, tone even as he scans Jake’s face. He seems pretty calm. His eyes are pink and a bit puffy but not too badly. He’d been crying? Jake intakes sharply, breathing still a bit wobbly. Probably from the crying, Dirk guesses. Ok, now he’s looking a little nervous. Dirk is too, now, to be fair. “Are you alright, Jake?” He rests a hand on top of Jake’s hand on the bed. Jake puts his other hand on Dirk’s knee, rubbing shapes with his thumb into the fabric of his pajama pants. He watches his digit move as Dirk watches him.
“I’m tip-top, old sport. Really. Just woke up and realized how much I was craving some… cereal.” Jake says, he chuckles humorlessly and looks up at his boyfriend. Dirk looks concerned and altogether unconvinced, who cries and wakes their partner up for cereal. “Cereal. Right. That was a bad lie. Well, poppet, never really was a good liar," He pauses, "I just had a bad dream. A really bad dream. And I’m not ready to go back to sleep yet and I-” He laughed again, it was short and pained and twinged with self-deprecation. He stays quiet for a few beats; “I can’t be alone right now, silly as it sounds..”
"It's not silly to need someone, Jake… Do you want me to just hold you for a bit?" Dirk asks, "Or just… be here with you? Whatever you need, man." Jake moves in closer, resting his head on Dirk’s shoulder, burying his face into his neck before he speaks.
“A bit of both would be nice. If it wouldn't be too much of a bother though… could we move out to the couch? I don’t… I’d just rather not be in the bedroom.” Jake requests, pressing a light kiss to the scar on Dirk’s neck. Dirk nods, staying still until Jake moved away. Jake pulls himself off the bed and grabs Dirk’s hands, tugging him up along with him. When they're both standing they don't move.
Dirk so often makes the first moves but tonight… At this moment he knows Jake doesn't need to be pushed, he just needs Dirk. So they stand there, Jake still holding Dirk's hands, grip tight, looking down at Dirk with this unreadable expression. Jake had been so touchy tonight, Dirk notes. It’s not that he minds it, he'd never mind it, but it was unusual. Jake never really initiated much physical contact, nothing this prolonged especially. He had told Dirk on more than one occasion that while he enjoyed the feeling and the thought behind it, he couldn't help but feel a bit suffocated by it at times. "Like I'm in a tight spot with no oxygen, or I'm just filling the old lungs with tar. It's a "me" issue, not you." Dirk had nodded along and accepted this and just appreciated the physically intimate moments they did share more. But if Jake was drowning in his contact now he didn't show it. Jake finally let go of one of Dirk's hands and tugged the blanket off the bed to take with them. He gets them moving to the sofa, hand still in Dirks. Jake lays back on the couch and pulls the shorter man on top of him, their stomachs pressed together. Dirk feels Jake wrap his arms snuggly around his waist like he’s worried Dirk would disappear if he didn't hold on tight enough.
Dirk rests his head against Jake's chest. "If you want to talk we can, about your dream or something else entirely. Or we can just lie here. Whatever you need."
They're both quiet again for a moment. "I don't remember it all too well." He's lying again but Dirk doesn't call him on it. "It started with… well… something happened. Something shitty happened and I was back home. Back on the island. By myself. I was by myself and I was scared. I was scared I just needed- I was calling for- I know it was my fault I told you-" He’s crying. It startles Dirk, but he doesn’t show it, just moves slightly so he’s up, looking at Jake dead on.
Dirk moves a hand to Jake's face and he turns into it, crying softly into his hand. He murmurs apologies into his palm but Dirk doesn't understand what they’re for. Dirk gives him a few moments before softly yet firmly saying his name. A simple "Jake," and now it’s Jake's turn to startle, his eyes snap to Dirk's and he stops sobbing. Tears still run down his cheeks and Dirk can't help but think about how pretty Jake looks like this. He allows himself a moment to memorize his face like this, rubbing his thumb along his cheek and wiping at a tear there. "I can't understand you when you're crying."
Jake nods at his boyfriend, bringing his hand up to keep Dirk's in place on his cheek. "We had a fight. And you made me mad over something silly. So I told you to leave and you did. You left. But I wanted you back but you had left and it was… we were over. You left and you weren't coming back. You didn't come back. I fucked up." He wasn’t crying but his voice was still so raw with emotion and hurt.
"In your dream… maybe you did. I wasn't there. but this is real life Jake, not your dream. And remember we're trying the "not running away from our problems" approach. Right? Even if we fought- we'd fix it. I wouldn’t leave you over a fight. If we got too heated we'd cool down and talk about it later. Like real adults or some shit, right?"
""Real adults' doesn’t sound like us." A joke! He still sounded bitter and wasn't smiling yet, but Dirk felt like he was on the right track. "I just… that wasn't all of it. Lots of fun dying and all, but it doesn't bother me as much as you leaving me. Of you not thinking that I- I love you and you're easily the best thing that's happened to me and I don't tell you that enough. I just don’t want you to ever think that I don’t appreciate you, clementine." Throughout his little declaration, Jake takes to rubbing Dirk's back gently. They’re quickly reaching a point where walls will, momentarily, cease to exist between them. It’s late, they are tired in every sense of the word; Dirk just has to use one of his little pet names and it’ll be over.
‘I love you too, baby." And there it was. Jake’s heart swells at the word. Dirk didn’t throw out pet names like Jake did, and he certainly wasn’t as… creative as Jake was. It got Jake through the heart each time he did use one though. it was usually babe, he'd use it to tease him and in their softer moments. But baby? Jake only got to be called baby in moments like this. Moments that they only shared when they were like this, where Jake was completely vulnerable to Dirk, where they were sickeningly intimate and Dirk felt particularly soft.
"I'm not going to leave you. Not now, or tomorrow or whenever the fuck you think I will. I'm here. I love you, I'd marry you right now if you asked. Get another matching tattoo with you if you wanted. Even something shitty like Avatar. I'd get Avatar tattooed on my ass for you dude, that's how in I am. A dude willing to get an Avatar tattoo for you is like top tier faithful, okay? I'm not going to leave you just because we get mad at one another. We’ve done that before and we’ll do it again. I'll be here for you forever, dude. You should get some sleep though. I'll be here when you wake up, baby. I'll make cereal."
Jake looks at him in awe and his gaze radiates pure fondness. “Right as always, aren’t you, chickpea?” He slides the hand that had been resting on Dirk’s cheek up into his hair, playing with it gently. “So smart and rational. Not to mention devilishly handsome. I’ve gotten quite the catch, reeling you in, Dirk.”
"I'm so stupidly clingy though. You should've known it was a dream. I'm like so gay for you, bro." Jake let a small, amused smile slip to his lips and Dirk mirrored him. "I wouldn't leave you in real life. I couldn't run off in real life. Do you know why?" Dirk is slipping closer to him and Jake's smile grows into a grin.
"Why's that, orange blossom?" He asks, sleep edging into his voice.
"Because, English, what other frustratingly handsome man would let me beat the shit out of him and still make me breakfast the next morning?" Jake laughed and Dirk let himself feel momentarily proud of his comforting skills.
"I'm sure you could get together a fight club, my dove. But you're right, I don't think anyone else would let you win." Dirk scoffs and Jake grins back all too smugly. Dirk kisses his cheek but flicks his nose when his guard is down. He lets out a sleepy giggle. "Maybe you win a few fairly."
"Get some sleep, babe." Dirk directs and Jake nods back. Dirk rests his head back onto Jake's chest. "I'll see you in the morning."
“You'll make cereal?" Jake asks, snaking his arms back around Dirk's middle.
"I'll make cereal."