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Jack is nervous, today they will try to remove the shackles Mac has been wearing probably ever since he was taken. The previous attempt ended with Mac in a full blown panic attack. This time they are going to approach it differently. So he needs to be calm, because Mac will pick up on his anxiety. He takes long deliberate breaths until he feels calmer.
He walks into Mac’s room and Mac is kneeling next to the bed on the floor. Long deep breaths, if Mac feels Jack’s anger, he will think that Jack is angry with him and he isn´t. A valuable lesson the therapist learned Jack.
‘Mac, can you look at me?’
Mac does as he is told.
‘You do know how I love you, right?’
Mac nods a bit unsure.
‘You know your master was killed, right?’
Mac nods again. Jack grits his teeth, Mac must know, he was probably there, knowing Murdoc, he probably made a show of the whole thing.
‘So now that he is gone, I want you to wear my collar.’
Mac’s eyes widen and he stills, before down casting his eyes.
‘To do so, I need to remove the old collar.’
Mac nods a bit more hesitantly this time.
‘Can you use your voice, please?’
‘It would be an honor.’ He whispers.
* * *
Jack sits next to Mac, who is laying on a heated bed. Doc Carl made sure Phoenix medical is cleared and that there are no routine procedures this morning. A hypnotherapist who has been working with Mac for several sessions already, is now in the process of relaxing Mac’s mind, so they can cut the restraints off without Mac going in a panic attack;
Once she deems Mac ready, she gestures to the tech who will handle the saw. Special made shields are placed between his skin and the restraint. They go slow and careful and the therapist makes sure Mac stays in a relaxed state of mind. When the last shackle is taken off, Jack can only feel relief. They managed to take them off without Mac losing it. The hypnotherapist brings Mac back up.
‘You did good Mac, I’m proud of you.’ Jack smiles when the kid seeks him out.
His hand goes to his throat. Mac looks insecure, frightened even. It is not the look Jack expected.
‘What’s wrong hoss?’
Mac tries to make himself smaller.
‘Mac, you are safe remember? Can you tell me what is wrong?’
‘It’s nothing.’ Mac whispers.
‘There is something, please tell me what it is, I can’t make it better if I don´t know what’s wrong.
‘You promised.’
‘What did I promise Mac? You can tell me.’ And then it dawns on him, he asked Mac to wear his collar.
‘Your collar! I’m sorry, but it is too special, it is at my house, because it is so special to me. We are going to get it, OK?’
Mac seems to study him but seems to accept the explanation.
‘We are done here.’ the tech tells them, packing his stuff away.
‘OK Mac, let’s go get it.’
* * *
‘Mac, I promised to give you something very special. It will help to keep you safe.’
Jack takes the cigar box out of the cupboard and takes out his dad’s dog tags. Discarding the box on the table, he walks up to Mac who starts shaking his head.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘They’re special.’ He whispers.
‘Yeah and pops would want you to have them, so he can keep you safe.’
Jack puts them around Mac’s neck and looks proudly at Mac. It is clear Mac is doing is best to be OK with this. Mac fingers the dog tags and Jack can see him relax a bit.
* * *
‘I just don’t understand why he would want to wear a collar. I thought once we took the old ones off, he would know he is safe, free and with his family.’
‘Having a collar is an important part of a pet’s life.’
‘Don’t refer to Mac a s a pet.’
‘I’m sorry Jack, what that is what he was forced to accept, the life as a pet. And as I was trying to explain. The collar is how everybody knows the pet has an owner, including the pet itself. The collar can be used to claim, punish or comfort the pet.’
‘Seriously, comfort?’
‘The comfort collar is given with love, telling the pet they are yours. Nothing bad will happen to them as long as they wear the collar.’
Jack snorts, ‘ he was beaten and raped wearing one.’
‘Yes but those were punishments in his mind. His owner kept him safe.’
‘This is really messed up.’
Jack leans back in the couch, taking deep breaths.
‘Remember you did what you needed to do to get Mac out of those restraints. The panic attack showed us how important the claim is for Mac. Don’t feel guilty about it, you did right for Mac. That is what is important right now. Baby steps Jack.’
‘So I should also not try to get him to feed himself?’
‘No, not at the moment anyway, remember, a lot of violence and drugging was involved to get Mac to become what he is now. We will need to change him back with reason and a lot of love, but that will take time and even more patience.’
Jack knows this but that doesn´t make him feel better.
‘Thank you.’
‘You’re welcome.’
* * *
When Jack arrives at home, Mac is still where Jack left him two hours ago. He reached a stage where he dares leaving Mac alone because the therapists and psychologists all confirmed Mac wasn´t a threat to himself. They also discovered that Mac was trained to sit still for long periods of time. It is eerie to see Mac that still.
‘Hey Mac, I see you have been good. Are you hungry?’
Mac gives a small nod so Jack walks into the kitchen. He makes them a couple of sandwiches and puts them on one plate. When he reaches the table Mac is kneeling next to Jack’s chair.
‘No Mac, sit on the chair please.’
Mac looks chastised and does as he is told.
‘I know kid, it’s hard, but I don´t want you kneeling, it is bad for your knees.’
Mac nods, taking the order for face value. Jack cuts the sandwich in cubes and takes one himself. The next one he feeds Mac. The finish the sandwiches like they do any meal these days.
And while they sit there, Jack knows they need to go. They need to start over in a different environment where nobody knows them.