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The soft hazy glow of moonlight rained down on the school grounds. Soft dewy turquoise grass danced slowly in the cool breeze, swaying. The stars in the night sky sparkled behind the thick cover of the rain clouds, visible through the tiny cracks.
The rain was thundering, crashing loudly against the dirt. Throwing splashes of mud in the air. Sips of lightning volleyed across the sky, accompanied by the roaring sounds of thunder.
Clementine was the only one braving the elements. Standing alone in the dark and dingy graveyard. The others had shown trepidation in leaving her outside in the cold. The way her leg was now and then the possible risk of getting sick from the atrocious weather.
She didn’t care about any of that though, she just wanted to spend more time with Violet.
Clementine's breath shuddered, trapped in her throat. It felt like an invisible weight was coiled tightly around her neck like a savage snake. Squeezing; applying pressure and strangling her. She gulped and her bloodshot eyes softened, landing on the raised mound of dirt in front of her. Violet's name maiming the wooden cross that stabbed the ground. A permanent, ugly scar on this horrible, ugly Earth.
The blonde's name should never have been written on it. She adjusted her weight, as to stand more comfortably.
"So..." She spoke softly, "I lost my leg."
She meekly raised her shoulders with a sad smile, picking the crutches up and slamming them back onto the ground. Clementine averted her gaze from the grave. Her amber eyes held no warmth, no light. Just darkness, despair and loneliness. Wisps of a feeling that was way too familiar to the brunette. Loss.
"I've lost loads of people, you know? But none..." She breathed. Her chest raised heavily and she looked back at the wooden cross, tears brimming, "B-But none of them hurt like losing you! You were different..."
She squinted, staring at the floor, "I loved you, Vi, b-but now... You're gone. And it feels like a part of me has gone with you. I feel empty and-" Her voice hitched and she sniffled, "I don't know what to do without you."
Clementine craned her neck up, letting the rain hit her golden skin and dampen her curly brown locks further. She prayed that the water hid her tears, "It... It still hasn't kicked in. You're gone. We're never going to see each other again. W-When I wake up I half expect to see you next to me... But you never are."
Clementine wiped a tear off her cheek, "I said to AJ that this was all worth it. It isn't. Not if you aren't here to see it."
"Fuck..." She croaked, wiping the tears away, "Look at me. I'm a fucking mess. Crying over your grave like I have any right too. The people here- Louis, Ruby and Aasim, Tenn... They knew you for longer but are they here? No. They're focusing. Getting shit done. I'm not."
She laughed bitterly, "I only knew you for two short weeks. But those were some of the best damn two weeks of my life. Every time you were around me I felt things I didn't think I would be able to feel again. I felt free. Like everything would be okay in the end," She laughed again, “I felt like a bird.”
The wind whistled.
"I know, I know," Clementine replied, "You'd say some fluffy shit like 'it will be fine' but... I find that hard to believe. I never thought I would -as idiotic as it sounds- feel again. I was used to the bitter coldness that nipped at me like piranhas. Then you came along and broke down all my walls. All my protection, my safety measures, and I loved every single second of it. I was addicted to the feeling. The warmth."
"I... I was addicted to you." She finished, her voice cracking and tearing. Hot tears erupted from her eyes like a flood. She cried in anguish and fell. She slammed her fist onto the muddy ground in a fit of volcanic rage, "It's not fair! Nothing ever is!"
She went silent, staring at Violet's grave. Lost and alone, "Nothing ever is..." She muttered silently.
Her throat felt dry and she sobbed and sobbed. Choking. Defeated and beat, she mumbled, "I-I miss you... I miss you..."
For the first time in years, Clementine cried. With no-one around to hold her, to comfort her. She kept going.
It had taken years but all the pain, all the grief, had finally caught up to her. And she couldn't take it. She felt herself crack and splinter like glass. An unfixable hole deep in her heart. She was just a shell of her former self.
She had broke.