Chapter Text
Nathan realized he’d made a mistake about half a breath after he sent Duke into the Barn after Audrey. In the moment, the idea of losing her, of losing the one person in the world he could feel, was overwhelming; he couldn’t think of anything else, and the only person he could trust, the only person he could rely on to try and get her back, was Duke. He didn’t think, when he begged him to go after her, didn’t consider the consequences until it was too late.
Until the Barn was gone, and Duke and Audrey with it, and Nathan was suddenly, terribly alone. Alone, and with no recourse, no backup, no friends. And not just gone, but crumpled, collapsed, dissolved- he’d done that. He’d killed Agent Howard, and he’d killed the Barn, and probably Audrey with it, and then, then, to compound his sins, he’d sent Duke in, and now they were both gone. Maybe, probably, worse.
He was bleeding, badly; he couldn’t feel it, but he was dying, and he was going to die alone. He was going to die alone, and it was his own damn fault, he’d done this, and now, when it was too late to change anything, now he was afraid. Dazed, sluggish, his mind drifted; a sunny day, the air full of the crisp scent of late summer and the heavy smell of turned earth as he toiled alone, digging a grave for his father. Until he wasn’t alone, because Duke had come to him, had put aside years of enmity to stand with him as he buried the last of his family.
Because Duke had always, in the end, put aside everything dark between them to stand at Nathan’s side when there was no one else who could.
He blinked, or maybe blacked out a little, and he was... somewhere else. Lying sprawled on his back in a road, Audrey leaning over him, frantic, panicked, tears on her cheeks and in her voice as she clung to him, and her hands on him were bright points of sensation, the warmth of her body soothing even though he knew something was wrong. She was pleading with him, and it was fine, because all he could feel was her, and he... didn’t think this had ever happened, or maybe it had and he’d forgotten, that happened in Haven, but Audrey was there, trying to keep him together with sheer determination.
Because Audrey always tried to fix things, even things broken beyond repair, and she’d never given up on him.
He blinked again, and the memory faded, because Audrey was gone, and Duke was gone, and it was his fault. There was no one left to stand with him, no one left to fix him.
A sound. He wasn’t alone, not technically. Jordan was there, bleeding from the two bullets Duke had put in her, his lightning-fast, brutal reprisal- Duke had always been protective, had always been fierce. But Jordan didn’t deserve to die because she’d tried to stop Nathan, and he could touch her, he could get the bleeding stopped, could make sure that the EMTs could help... He couldn’t die yet. He had work to do, to try and fix this, to try and make up for what he’d done.
He had work left to do, no matter how alone he was.