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“He’s 30 years older than me”, she told herself, but she can’t deny feeling some pressure in her lower tummy looking at these pictures from the world tour.
She ran her finger over the computer screen. “Ugh, stop it!” but she can’t. Every time she sees him she feels her heart go faster and she has to put more effort to put out the words in the right order and not blurt them out. It had gotten better since the first time these feelings had struck her but it was still hard to concentrate on her words and sentences while her mind was concentrating on other things.
There was a knock on the hotel room door. Knowing who it was she quickly clicked away the pictures she had been watching, ran her hand through her hair and opened the door.
“Hi!” Peter smiled and without asking anything he just walks inside the room. After seven months of filming it wasn’t weird at all that they spent time in each other’s trailers/rooms but after he had left Jenna’s imagination would come to life.
“So,” she said, “have you seen the pictures of today already? They turned out very nice.”
“Yeah I have, you look good in them,” he winked, giving her the Capaldi-look. It’s what she liked to call it when he looked up at her with his teasing grin.
“So do you!” she answered, feeling rather hot. Was it just her or was he flirting? A little overwhelmed she sat on the bed and gestured him to sit next to her.
“So what’s on telly?”
“I don’t know,” he said, "these Koreans will not air Neighbours will they?” Jenna let slip a nervous giggle. “Probably not,” she answered.
Peter sighed and ran his fingers through his grey hair. He turned the tv off. "Time for a little chat maybe?” He sounded quite serious. What did he wanted to talk about?! Surely she hadn’t done something wrong?
Seeing her eyes widen he smiled. “Don’t worry. I just thought we could catch up since we didn’t have a private chat in a while and since there’s not really something to watch…”
Jenna laughed in relieve. But what could she say? She had always been comfortable around Peter until these feelings had popped up one day. She suddenly had appreciated not only the way he acted, but also the way he looked. As the Doctor, but also as Peter, coming to read-throughs in sweatpants sometimes. It was quite a comical sight. A slight smile swept over her face.
She sighed and let herself fall down on her back on the bed. She suddenly thought of something she hadn’t thought about a very long time. “You know. When I was younger, I wanted to be an astronaut and see the solar system and the milky way and the stars. Sitting here with you just brought that back to my mind. I’m actually living one of my childhood dreams.”
She felt more comfortable talking to him if she couldn’t really see him. “I never really realised how tired it was though.” When she said it she fell a yawn coming and tried to stifle it, but Peter had noticed. “Shall I -?” he pointed towards the door.
“No!” Jenna had grabbed his arm. She was enjoying feeling comfortable and relaxed and with him. Peter looked down at Jenna’s hand holding his arm and looking back up to her.
“Sorry.” she blurted out, letting go of his arm. “I just meant - I’m really enjoying this world tour and all but it’s hard work but it’s worth it.” every minute with you, she thought and then: no Jenna, stop it. Just friends. She smiled at him and he returned it.
She went lying on her back again so she didn’t have to look directly at him but he did the same, and so they lied next to each other in the bed. Peter just smiling with his blue eyes and his grey hair, Jenna’s imagination going wild. How she touched his face and worked her hand slowly down his chest, into his shirt, feeling the little chest hair he had.
“Stop it,” she heard herself say. Peter looked puzzled. “Sorry, what? Do you want me to leave? Because I’ll do that if you want to”. Why did she have to say that out loud? “No, uhm. It’s nothing.
Peter grabbed Jenna’s hand in concern. “Are you sure everything is all right Jenna?” he asked. “Yeah, I’m just really tired and was falling asleep”.
She knew that would make him leave but maybe that would be easier even though she didn’t want him to. She felt the skin of her hand burning under his but she liked it, the pressure in her lower body building up.
“Maybe we should just go and get some sleep” he said. He gave her hand a little squeeze and let go of it. But when he had left Jenna suddenly felt way too awake and exciting to rest. She settled back behind her computer and went looking for some more picture of Peter.
Then she suddenly remembered a fan telling her about a website where fans shared more than just plots. Tumblr or something? When she had opened the site she knew it was the website the fans had meant.
It was full of pictures from her and Peter where he looks intently at her and the other way around. They’re calling him silver fox. She had to tell him. But then she would have to confess she looked them up. “My silver fox,” she whispered.
She also found some pictures of him doing the ‘Capaldi-look’, which was apparently called the eye-sex or sex-eye. She chuckled at the computer. People thought they were in love with each other, but certainly Peter wouldn’t fall for a child like her.
What did she see in him though? There was one hell of an age gap between them and she still loved him. But no, Peter was just being a gentlemen, holding her the way he did and smiling at her the way he did.
She didn’t know, though, that in the room next to her, her silver fox lay in bed scrolling through pictures on his phone and reading some stories fans had written. It was called fanfic or something. It was quite ridiculous but he couldn’t deny he would rather not admit how close the fans were to his feelings. But surely - what would Jenna see in an ugly granddad such as himself?