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Note: Let’s consider that Blackbeard left the crew with the fruit but didn’t manage to kill Thatch, so Ace didn’t leave to chase after him. Takes place right after Enies Lobby.
I had fun writing it so I hope you will have fun reading it too!
Unbeta-ed
A (Normal) Day in the Life of the Whitebeards Pirates
“That little idiot.” Ace grumbled, trying to stop himself from grinning.
Sitting alone at the Commanders’ table in the galley of the Moby Dick, excitement bubbling inside him, Ace kept on reading today’s newspaper, stuffing his mouth messily. He would laugh or snort from time to time, startling his crewmates but no one wanted to interrupt him while he was eating to ask him what was so funny. Coming between Ace and food was a sure way to get extra chores – or to die – and none of them were suicidal. Choking suddenly, Ace reached for his glass of water, wanting nothing more than to face palm.
“I’m going to fucking strangle him…” Ace muttered fondly, smoothing the page of the newspaper he was reading and thinking not for the first time that Lu was crazy. Worry was wedging a losing battle with pride though. Of course Ace was worried about what mess Luffy got himself into, but his brother was a pirate, he was free and powerful and to Ace, it was all that mattered.
“Oh, is that your little brother?” Thatch asked from above him, looping his arm around Ace’s shoulders and digging his chin on his friend’s head. No sense of personal space this man… “300.000.000 berry.” He whistled loudly, seemingly impressed by this number. Admittedly it was rather high considering Luffy hadn’t been in Paradise for long. “Not bad at all for a rookie. What has he done this time? More princess rescuing?”
Thatch snickered before yelping as Ace’s hair turned to fire and slightly singed his goatee.
“Fuck off Ace!” He hissed, using haki to ward off the offender but it was too late, and a small patch of hair had been burnt clean off, leaving a clear patch of smooth skin right in the middle of his magnificent goatee. The galley was still not full as it was rather early for lunch but all the crewmates around burst out laughing, jeering, and congratulating Ace for his barber’s skills. Thatch was not amused. Did they know the care he put in maintaining his goatee and pompadour in prim condition? They probably did, those uncouth brutes.
A smirk tugged Ace’s lips up and he too couldn’t help but crack up. Served Thatch right for gluing himself to Ace like an octopus. The younger commander didn’t want to stink like Thatch’s cologne the whole day, thank you very much.
“Yup, that’s Lu!” He replied, grinning, looking at the picture of Luffy on the wanted poster. It was not half bad, Luffy looked happy and so non-threatening for a pirate it was just hilarious. They hadn’t changed it since the first bounty had been published. “No princess rescuing though.”
Luffy had a tendency to stumble upon kingdoms in crisis every now and then, or so it seemed. It was not the case this time, according to the newspaper but Ace never trusted what he read in there, the government had a way to publish whatever best suited its needs. Case in point with Alabasta. Ace hadn’t stayed with his little brother’s crew long enough to participate in the revolution but Luffy had told him he had beat up Crocodile, so it wasn’t hard to guess what had happened exactly.
“He burnt down a World Government flag in Enies Lobby, declared war against it, destroyed the buildings and the island, narrowly escaped from a Buster Call.” And if Ace’s voice cracked somehow at this point, it was probably only Thatch’s imagination, it was definitely not because Luffy was a goddamn reckless idiot. “All to save one of his nakama, Nico Robin. Oh, and he defeated the entire CP-9, including this Rob Lucci guy.”
Ace was brimming with pride, unable to stop himself from grinning, teeth showing. He was so proud of his brother for making it this far in Paradise in so little time and for becoming this strong. He remembered all too well the cry-baby he had met more than a decade ago. Now he was a full-fledged pirate, on his way to become even stronger. He might become the King of Pirates one day. And for that, they’d have to fight. Ace couldn’t wait.
The silence that followed his statement all but lasted a full three seconds before everyone burst in excitement, awe, and loud whistles. Thatch laughed the hardest, thumping Ace’s back with a haki infused hand for effect.
“The guts of this brat! First Crocodile and now Enies Lobby and the CP-9?” Thatch guffawed, taking the newspaper to read the article himself. “So crazy… He reminds me of someone...” He added, giving Ace a look and Ace rubbed his head awkwardly as if he had been given a huge compliment, the moron.
“Well, with Ace as his brother, could you really expect him to have a single sensible bone in his body?” Izo chirped in before Ace could preen some more, taking a seat next to the Second Division Commander and snatching the newspaper from Thatch’s hands.
“Hey, I am way more sensible than him! He declared war on the World Government, in their own turf for fuck’s sake! I am not that stupid, I wouldn’t do that!”
Everyone gave him a look, Izo even had the gall to cackle, Thatch nearly choked from the force of his laughter and the entire Second Division members roared with laughter so hard some of them had tears in their eyes. Ace was going to make them walk the plank, the lot of them.
“Given half the chance, I’m sure you would.” Thatch chortled, not able to stop laughing.
“Not that it would matter much, we’re all on the World Government wanted list already.” Marco pointed out before Ace could rant some more, sitting down opposite the young man before promptly beginning to eat his lunch. “Plus, you haven’t declared war on them directly, but your bounty is higher Ace, so you’re more of a threat to them than your brother.”
“I know but that’s because I am strong not because I am an unreasonable suicidal lunatic!”
They didn’t know Luffy at all if they thought that Ace was as reckless as his brother. Luffy was way worse, bull headed, always whining about going on adventures, not caring about his safety, using his gum gum power rashly on his enemies and his allies alike, rocketing himself and any unsuspecting person toward trees and rocks and bears and danger altogether! Ace was reasonable. He sometimes planned ahead, he could somewhat follow a plan, he didn’t dive headfirst into danger, he didn’t ditch his crew to go on his merry way looking for adventures and whatnot.
The whole crew roared in laughter and Marco even choked on his food, eyes nearly bulging out of his skull before following along and laughing at Ace.
“I remember a rookie trying to beat the strongest man in the world not too long ago, every day for over a hundred days… if that’s not an unreasonable suicidal lunatic, I’d like to know what is…” Deuce, Ace’s ex First Mate when he was still captain of the Spades pirates, chimed in, smirking.
Ace’s eyebrow twitched as he glared at his friend turned traitor, eyes narrowing.
“Anyway!” Ace enunciated slowly, not willing to let the situation escalate any further. He knew his crewmates, when they caught scent of a good way to tease someone mercilessly, they were like starving seakings in front of a shipwreck. Bloodthirsty, relentless and they would leave no survivors. That and the galley was beginning to look full, everyone arriving for lunch. Ace needed to change the subject before being roasted some more. “I can’t wait to meet Luffy in the New World.” Ace said, trying to steer the discussion back on tracks.
Thatch took the bait. Bless him to…
“I hope he’s going to beat you up.” He slyly challenged him before sitting down next to Izo to read the newspaper, throwing Ace a cocksure grin .
Curse him to Impel Down and back!
“I am way stronger than he is, but he wouldn’t break a sweat kicking your ass…” Ace retaliated, keeping up his smile to spite Thatch.
Thatch hummed, pulling a face that said he wasn’t affected by Ace’s words, simply amused. The Second Division Commander was going to feed Thatch to the seakings one of these days.
“Last time we spared, remind me who won exactly?” Thatch mused, rubbing his chin as if he were deep in thought.
“That’s because you cheated!” Ace accused him, waving his fork at him menacingly. “You would never have won otherwise!”
“Lies and slander.”
Most of the Commanders were now sitting at the table, eating their lunch, the banter between Ace and Thatch a rather enjoyable entertainment so no one saw fit to stop them. Izo was even taking bet on who would start a brawl first. So far, it was 8 for Ace starting it against 4 for Thatch.
“You had Izo and Haruta sneak up on me to put seastone handcuffs on me!”
“Well, that’s not cheating. That’s simply being a great pirate. We don’t do fair.” Thatch bragged, crossing his arms in front of his chest in an obvious show of superiority.
“That’s true enough.” Vista commented and a few people nodded. If Ace could shoot fire from his eyes, Vista would be writhing on the floor right about now.
“I mean, you have to be prepared for anything…” Haruta asserted, eyes twinkling with mischief.
They had rules on the ship when it came to sparring but they were rather loose. Afterall, a pirate’s life wasn’t an easy one and no one should be naïve. Marines and enemies wouldn’t wait for you to be ready to fight to attack. Ace understood too but Thatch was still a filthy little cheater who had bragged about his deed for days.
“Next time Thatch, I swear I’ll break you in half.” Ace said only half serious. He couldn’t wait to wipe Thatch’s smirk off his face in a fight. If Thatch wanted to spar like true pirates, he wasn’t going to be disappointed…
“I’d like to see you try.” Thatch chuckled, leaning on the table to throw a patronizing look at Ace. “See, you know I’m way smarter and stronger than you and yet you insist on ridiculing yourself… Oh and I am also way more handsome, and charming, and irresistible.”
Catcalls could be heard from every corner of the galley as well as playful insults.
“Tell him Thatch!”
“You’re the handsomest of this ship!”
“Handsomest my ass!”
“Let’s see you shirtless and compare your abs!”
“Show us your body, you sexy beast!”
“Please stop I’m going to be sick!”
“You wanna see my body that much? I’m warning you, you might faint from nosebleed!”
“You’re so old Thatch it’s not even funny!”
“Faint from fright you mean!”
“Ace is way cuter than you!”
“I’m not cute!”
“I don’t want to be ‘cute’, I am already drool worthy.”
“Fuck off Thatch, that’s disgusting!”
Thatch got up on the table and began unbuttoning his shirt teasingly, wiggling his eyebrows at his crewmates, nearly slapping Izo in the face as he waved his hands around to showcase his best assets…
“You’re all jealous of this body, aren’t you? I don’t need to put it on display to showcase how hot I am.” He winked and proceeded in removing his shirt before throwing it in the middle of the galley, flexing his muscle in an exaggerated way.
“Show him who’s the boss!” Haruta shouted, followed by her entire division.
Everyone was roaring with laughter, happy and comfortable, some admiring Thatch’s row of abs and some even going as far as pretending to faint on the spot. Ace was too busy trying not to choke from the force of his laughter, bent over the table, as he watched Thatch to even react to his nakama’s boasts and obvious taunts.
“That’s what you call a real man. All hard muscle and hairy chest.” Thatch taunted him but Ace just couldn’t stop laughing.
His family was crazy, and he loved them so damn much. He felt such contentment at this very moment, surrounded by laughter, everyone happy and having a good time. He would never tire of such a feeling.
“You’re laughing at my magnificence? You fiend!” Thatch bent down and literally plucked Ace from his sit, making him stand up on the table next to him. “Ladies and Gentlemen, I present you with the first ever beauty pageant of this crew!”
Crazy. Thatch was the craziest of them all.
The collective roar of enthusiasm was deafening and howls and yells could be heard from every corners of the large galley. Even their captain joined in, clapping loudly as Thatch bowed his head theatrically, waving his hands and blowing kisses at everyone. Marco’s left eyebrow visibly twitched when Thatch blew him a kiss and winked his way but Haruta and Blenheim blew his kisses back even as Vista shuddered, an amused smile on his lips.
“On your right.” Thatch hollered suddenly, the room quieting some. “Cute freckled face, smooth skin, six pack always on display for everyone’s viewing pleasure, the baby among all the hardened commanders of the Whitebeards’, ladies and gentlemen, the Second Division Commander, Fire Fist Ace!”
The round of applause was enough to make the walls of the ship tremble. The galley was packed, more and more of their brothers and sisters coming in to see what was causing so much ruckus. Ace couldn’t believe he had been roped into this nonsense but found himself playing along. He waved left and right, not needing to remove his shirt as he hadn’t been wearing one in the first place.
“On your left, your very own host, with an impressive pompadour and a goatee to die for, the very essence of manhood, the unchallenged winner of the last ten drinking contests on this ship, your favourite cook, the strongest amongst all the Commanders, ladies and gentlemen, the Fourth Division Commander, Twin Blade Thatch!”
The screams of the crew were deafening, call of Thatch’s name as well as insults from the other division commanders could be heard, so loudly that their captain’s laugh, so loud and peculiar, was lost in the utter chaos.
Ace was laughing so hard his belly hurt and tears were threatening to spill down his cheeks.
“At my feet.” Thatch went on, unbothered by the ruckus he had caused, “Grumpy but endearing, always nagging about paperwork, unfortunately good looking with a pair of spectacles on, you know he rocks the naughty doctor’s look, our very own head doctor, our flaming blue chicken, the resident fiery turkey, the pineapple on top of our cake, our…”
The rest was lost in a shout as Marco suddenly appeared next to Thatch and swiped his feet from under him making the Fourth Division Commander fall heavily on the table in a clatter of broken plates and falling knives and forks.
“I think they got the gist.” He growled threateningly, glaring at Thatch.
Marco sat back down with a self-satisfied smile on his lips and resumed eating his lunch while Thatch was wheezing and laughing at the same time.
Oopsie, the First Mate really hated those nicknames, but it was just so funny, Thatch hadn’t been able to resist. Everyone was laughing their asses off, congratulating Marco for a job well done while other bemoaned the interrupted contest. Ace made to sit back down but Thatch chose this moment to add fuel to Marco’s fiery temper. When it came to stupid nicknames, the First Mate was ruthless in exacting vengeance and Thatch knew it. He also was slightly suicidal and couldn’t pass up this opportunity to tease his brother further, consequences be damned.
“You’re just afraid you won’t win this beauty pageant.” Thatch resumed, pulling on Ace’s arm to get up again. “And you’d be right. Who’d vote for a stupid bluish pineapple-y stuck-up pigeon?”
Silence overtook the room expect for a “Oh boy”, murmured by Izo who was staring at Thatch with an unreadable expression. Even Ace couldn’t help but snort, knowing that Thatch had just signed his death warrant. It lasted for two seconds before chatter broke out and Marco was once again on the table, squeezing Thatch’s neck while shaking him until his teeth rattled.
Thatch squirmed and managed to kick Marco in the side with a haki infused foot. Marco’s grip seemed to slacken for a second and it was enough for the Fourth Division Commander to wiggle his way out of this predicament. He jumped off the table and began running around to escape, throwing more bird-themed insult at Marco, avoiding his crewmates as well as he could in the packed room. The tables were bolted to the floor in case of storms and as such he couldn’t push them out of his way, he had to jump over or slide under them.
Marco’s temper visibly snapped, and he gave chase while muttering rather elaborate death threats.
The crew cheered again as if their First Mate wasn’t seriously considering boiling their Fourth Division Commander in a bath of burning oil after having removed all of his nails. Bets were rapidly made, money exchanging hands, Izo having roped his division into opening betting pools on the winner. His first bet had been ruined because contrary to what everyone could have predicted, it hadn’t been Ace who had started the fight but Marco…
“Help! Murderer! Murderer!” Thatch squealed gleefully, definitely having the time of his life.
“I am going to skin you alive Thatch.” Marco thundered, breaking the table Thatch had been standing on a few seconds ago, his leg coated with haki. Marco’s smirk widened as he ran, hot on Thatch’s tail. The man was too busy laughing to really manage to escape effectively.
Ace was still standing on the Commanders’ table, overlooking the whole mess. Plates full of food were flying, Thatch was running in circle, grabbing people left and right to slow Marco down, putting them in the First Mate’s path to get mowed in his stead. He seemed to have a blast getting chased all over the room and despite Marco’s pissed off expression, the First Mate was undeniably having as much fun as his brother.
Despite the chaos, it wasn’t hard to track the both of them from his vantage point and Ace saw Thatch running toward him. He just had time to sidestep as Thatch came hurtling toward him at full speed, probably intending to throw him in Marco’s way. Ace was no rookie and he knew that Thatch would have used haki so better be safe than sorry. Unable to stop himself and with no one to catch him, Thatch fell flat on his face on the ground, scrambling to get up quickly, evading Marco’s haki coated fingers by an inch.
“Ace you traitor!” Thatch burst out, running away as the crew laughed and jeered at him.
“You brought this upon yourself! Have fun running now!” Ace jeered, the sweetest smile he could muster plastered on his face only to aggravate Thatch further.
Thatch was not one to take verbal abuse lying down and he turned his head around and threw Ace the smuggest smirk the youngest commander had ever seen on his friend’s face. The Second Division Commander could smell trouble coming.
“Whoever subdues Ace first gets unlimited access to the kitchen for a week!” Thatch bellowed, panting, and promptly veered to the left to the door leading to the sleeping quarters, definitely intending to go and hide, the coward. What a shameful ploy. Access to the kitchen was usually denied to everyone except the cooks for obvious reasons. Ace would have caught himself if it had been an option because the offer was damn mouth-watering.
“FIGHT!!!” A collective roar sounded, all the pirates jumped to their feet and it soon devolved into an all-out war, most of the pirates trying to grab and tackle their Second Division Commander. Ace kicked and punched people left and right to escape, skin alight with fire as he gave chase to the Fourth Division Commander, following after Marco. The First Mate suddenly whirled around, and Ace slammed into him, thrown to the floor on impact. Seeing the smirk on Marco’s lips he knew what was going to happen, all because of the prospect of free food. He couldn’t hold it against Marco, but Ace wouldn’t go down without fighting, pirate style.
“I’ll do the paperwork of whoever throws Thatch overboard first for a week!” Ace roared and Marco’s eyes twinkled as he left Ace on the ground, starting to chase Thatch anew.
“No paperwork for a week, uh…” Izo snickered, taking out his pistols and joining the fray. He could already imagine not having to do his paperwork and not having Marco breath down his neck to finish them on time. He was a pirate not a paper pusher.
“Such an attractive offer…” Jozu muttered thoughtfully before joining the fray and trying to catch Thatch.
“Come on, blue turkey! Catch me if you can! Or are you too much of a chicken? Cot-cot-cot!” Thatch mocked him, goading Marco on purpose and wiggling his eyebrows in a show of defiance. Marco’s eye twitched before he threw a plate imbued with haki at Thatch’s head. It shattered on the wall, a few centimetres away from said man who guffawed loudly before escaping once more. This time though, Thatch didn’t try to rally the door leading to the sleeping quarters. He went for the one leading to the deck.
“To old to aim properly, fiery pigeon?”
“Thatch. When I catch you, I’ll maim you.” Marco growled and he had a slightly unhinged glint in his eyes, cracking his knuckles and partially turning into his phoenix form, blue fire engulfing his arms and legs.
Thatch gulped, as he should in the face of a vengeful Marco. One would think that the First Division Commander was the calmest and most collected of this crew, always nagging people to finish their paperwork and not cause unnecessary drama on the islands they visited. What outsiders didn’t know was that he was as bad as the others.
“Ace. You better hold your part of the bargain.” Marco rumbled, smirking confidently, dashing after Thatch using his wings to propel himself forward.
Ace blanched, realising his mistake. If he were to do all Marco’s paperwork plus his own? No way. He was going to die. One couldn’t imagine the amount of paperwork there was to do on this ship. Each division was in charge of something in particular: food supply, weapons, finances, medical supplies, ships repairs… And Marco oversaw everything. At the end of the month – which was only two days away – every division commander was supposed to hand over their monthly report, detailing everything that had happened in the past month: battles, attacks, injuries, missions, exact amount of loot… Marco would read everything and give his report to Pops.
“Run Thatch, run!” Ace yelled, running after Marco to stop him, pride be damned.
Thatch did run but absolutely not in the right direction.
“Not this way! Not this way!” Ace screamed after him. That moron was going for the deck for real! Marco was a freaking phoenix, why was Thatch making his work easier! As soon as Marco would be able to spread his wings for real, he would be way faster than Thatch and then it would be all over.
Thatch wrenched open the door of the deck in a peal of laughter, throwing a wink behind, most definitely aimed at Ace, the bastard.
“Goddammit Thatch, run away! Don’t let yourself be caught by Marco!!!” Ace pleaded, having caught on to his nakama’s plan.
He ran after them and out the door to see Marco catching up to Thatch. The man was too busy bowing left and right and blowing kisses at his crewmates to put any distance between them. Ace could already imagine the pile of paperwork he would have to face in the near future.
“Playing for the other team, are we now?” Izo laughed from beside Ace.
“I’ll do your paperwork Thatch, please, don’t let Marco catch you!”
“Too late.” Marco stated, voice dripping with so much smugness it was almost palpable.
As the talons of Marco’s phoenix form caught Thatch by the shoulders, the cook shot a sly grin toward Ace.
“Guess who wins!” Thatch gloated before being thrown into the sea, roaring with laughter.
The entire crew erupted in laughter and in jeers, some yelling for the cooks to start a feast and get out some booze. They were going to party! Marco landed next to Ace, transforming back into a human and with a lopsided smile he patted the Second Division Commander’s head patronizingly.
“I hope you’re ready.”
Ace paled and cursed. He was so going to fucking feed Thatch to the seakings one of these days. He could hear him laugh all the way from the upper deck. Why, oh why, had him simply reading the newspaper devolved into this mess? Not that he would change anything. Okay yeah, the paperwork, definitely. This he hadn’t foreseen. The rest, well, it was just a normal day in this weird crew he had come to consider his family. Shaking his head fondly, he made his way to the railing and watched as Thatch climbed up the rope on the side of the ship.
“You know Thatch.” Ace mused, affecting a bashful look. “You were right in saying that pirates don’t play fair.”
Thatch looked up and Ace loved seeing his expression shift from happy to worried in a second flat.
“Ace what are y– Aaaargh!” He shrieked as the rope he was climbing on was burnt down to ashes. He fell back in the water with a loud splash.
With a self-satisfied smile on his lips and a spring in his steps, Ace made his way back to the galley to finish his lunch in peace, not having totally lost this round.
“Ace!” He heard Thatch screech. “I am going to murder you in your sleep!”
Music to his ears.
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