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A heavy breath leaves Bucky’s lungs as he stares up at the thatched roof of his hut out past the palace gates on the farm. He couldn’t really sleep when the day of Steve’s time-travelling kept him up all night. Bruce had some evaluations and tests he had to do with Steve before he returned the Stones, and kept him in a room closer to the lab. Steve, after everything the few days prior, knew Bucky needed rest and told him to go sleep and that he’ll see him in the morning.
But Bucky couldn’t sleep, because yeah, he’ll see Steve in the morning. The question is, will he see Steve ever again? Now that time-travel is a thing, (because obviously why wouldn’t it be, after Strange, after Carol, aliens, Wakanda, the future really was what he always thought it would be), of course he’d go back to Peggy. Back home. He’s “The Man Out of Time”. He doesn’t blame Steve. While he lived through the decades, the changes despite not ever being entirely present, Steve was thrust into a world where it was familiarly unfamiliar. Like a room, where everything is the same but shifted two inches to the left.
He’s glad Steve told him to get some rest because yeah, he’s tired. But it’s an exhaustion clinging to his bones. So he lays there as the sun continues to rise on the very early morning, eventually peeking through the windows. It’s quiet, being with his thoughts as he groans to finally get up and dressed for the day. The normal bustle of the farmland stays still. T’Challa has made a mandatory week of restoration - giving everyone the time to do what they please and not work. To see family and friends. It’s a smart move too, after cleanup and construction from Thanos. It lets the land rest too, agriculturally giving it time to replenish, for a little while at least. He lets the animals roam free to graze. It’s in its third day, and Steve is leaving. It makes it hard to do any visiting with all he had to do.
Shaking his head, Bucky heads out to the lab to see Steve one last time. For such a defining moment in their friendship - outside of his revelation of his more-than-platonic feelings for Steve, it seems like an ordinary day. It makes him uneasy.
What do you say to someone you’ve been in love with for almost 80 years? Who you’ve been best friends with for even longer? And they’re leaving forever?
He looks out into the distance as he jogs up the stairs of the palace.
‘This is the last time I’m going to see Steve,’ he thinks, putting his hands in the pockets of his jeans.
He swallows hard, when he thinks about his past self, stuck as the Fist of Hydra. The uncomfortable thought wondering if Steve will save him again when he goes back, crops up. He forces it back down and away before he thinks of anything else. His stomach twinges with pain, sadness and his nerves at war battling inside him.
He arrives at the lab, sucking in a breath before opening the door. Steve and Bruce smile at him when he walks in, Sam already there sitting in a chair to the side. Steve and Bruce, of what he can make of it, are talking about the technicalities of time-travel. Or rather, the cinematic knowledge of not changing things for the sake of all time-lines. Apparently, Tony’s schematics are so new still they don’t know if changing anything, even something minuscule, will change the course of history. He hears Bruce say something about ripple-effects, as he sits on the table beside Sam.
They don’t say anything to each other for a while, just listening to the on-going conversation as Bucky lightly swings his feet. The gravity of the situation is weighing on all of them.
“You gonna tell him?” Sam asks softly, cutting into their silence as the other two continue on, watching Steve suit up.
Bucky looks down with a sad smile, kicking his feet.
“No, I don’t think I will,” he swallows, looking at Sam, “he’s already made up his mind about what he wants to do. I don’t want to manipulate him if he has his heart set on someone else.”
Sam looks at him long, unblinking. “You really think he’s going to leave you, after all of this?” He looks away from Sam’s confusion, shrugging a shoulder.
“Exactly. Why wouldn’t he? He finally has a chance to be with Peggy, live a stable and physically healthy life, back in our time.”
“That’s unhealthy, Barnes.” Sam states, brow furrowing.
“You think he won’t?”
“I think he’s been desperately trying to get us all back, that he’s just taking the Stones back. Is this what you’ve been thinking about since this was all over?”
He doesn’t say anything, looking over at Steve getting ready to step on the platform, suitcase in hand. They both get up to join him, Sam glancing at Bucky once more. Steve pulls Bucky into a hug, holding him tight. Bucky does the same.
“Don’t do anything stupid until I get back.” Steve says, mouth crooking in a smile, capping his hand on his shoulder.
“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.”
Steve turns to step onto the platform, looking at Bucky, “Don’t worry, it’ll be okay.”
Bucky tries to smile as he holds “I love you” behind his teeth. His heart is breaking.
“I’m going to miss you buddy.”
Steve musters a smile one last time, as Bruce counts down - “See you in 5 seconds.”
~~~
As time goes longer than it should, Sam begins yelling for Bruce to bring him back - Bucky continues to look at the empty space where Steve stood. He thought he’d have more time. Maybe, they weren’t supposed to be together in the same time-line. Maybe...they were always supposed to be apart. After he fell, Steve went into the ice, the Accords, being on the run, being gone for 5 years… It’s not a coincidence. It’s cruel.
Bucky walks toward the platform, sitting on the edge. Sam and Bruce are still trying to figure out what happened.
A piece of paper falls into his lap with his name on it. It reads, “‘Hey Stupid.’ - Steve”
Bucky looks up and around behind him. Steve is standing there, the ends of his lips pointing upward. His eyes, crinkling, are the brightest they’ve been in a long time. He chuckles, letting Sam and Bruce know he’s back. They both come running over.
“You okay, man? What happened?” Sam asked, going in for a hug.
“I’m fine! I just had to do something first.” Steve says, smiling wide, his shoulders relaxed, stepping off the platform. As he clicked the button to get out of the Quantum Suit and back into his stealth suit, he set the suitcase down.
Bucky still sat with the note, looking at Steve like he couldn’t quite believe his eyes.
Sam looked at Bucky, laughing with relief, and Bruce finished clicking away to shut down the platform for good.
“Bucky, I told you I was coming back.” Steve said, looking at him with concern.
He nods, “I know. I just thought you wouldn’t stay. That if you’d have the chance, you’d take it and go back.”
Steve nodded, looking down. “I won’t lie and say I haven’t thought about it. But I don’t belong there anymore. Peggy died. She lived a full life, and me going into her life then just wouldn't make sense. And you…” Steve coughs. “Even then, the time-line hung in the balance and I couldn’t live with myself changing that.”
Bruce, Sam, and Bucky agree silently, glancing at each other with sad smiles at Peggy’s name.
“So,” Bruce asked, “what did you go back and do?”
Steve colored a little, huffing a small laugh. “I think Bucky knows that answer.”
Bucky blinks again, looking baffled, stares off into the distance. Sam, Bruce, and Steve look at him. Bucky’s eyes go back and forth around the lab unfocused as he thinks. His eyes grow wide, then narrow.
“Steve, you punk!” Bucky says loudly, getting up to punch him in the arm. He laughs sheepishly, as Bruce and Sam look at each other.
“He made his big love confession just before I shipped out in 194-fucking 2. And kissed me square on the mouth.” Bucky says, pointing at Steve. Their brows lift high, as Steve looks at him earnestly.
“Buck, I couldn’t let you go away again without letting you know how I felt. So I told myself, actually told myself, to let you know how we felt. I didn’t tell him much else besides to kiss you, or how I got this way - he would’ve figured it out in time. And I figured it wouldn’t affect much either in the scheme of things time-wise. I had a second chance.”
Bucky shakes his head, chuckling. “Pal, I loved you since I was 17. I didn’t need to know, I would’ve still loved you, and I still do.”
Steve wraps him in a hug, tucking his nose under his ear. “I didn’t have the courage to tell you then. I thought I’d never see you again. I signed up to do Erskine’s project to save the world from bullies, yeah, but if it gave me a chance to see you again, no matter how slim, I took it. There never was a right time to tell you… Then, and after the ice, you know.. Everything. But it’s over.”
Bucky pulls back to look at him, a sad smile on his face. He knows what Steve is talking about.
“Let’s go home”
The four of them finish cleaning up, and Sam smiles at Bucky, winking. Bucky just rolls his eyes as they head down the hallway to the elevator. Sam has a new apartment in the palace, while Bucky and Steve head to the Bucky’s hut. Bruce, on the other-hand, stays in an apartment outside the royal residence. He’s closer to his labs that way.
“I’ll see you for a run tomorrow?” Sam asks, knocking into Steve’s elbow. Joking, trying for a semblance of a routine again. The three of them continue on as Bruce bids them farewell for the rest of the day.
Steve laughs, “We have 4 more days of rest. I don’t know about you, but I say we deserve it. And besides, you’ll want to head to your room anyway, there’s something I dropped off on the way back.”
Sam huffs, disbelieving. “You didn’t.”
Steve shrugs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. You aren’t in your room yet.” Sam pushes Steve, Steve letting himself stumble a bit.
‘You just want Barnes to yourself.”
“Don’t worry, you’ll get some Steve-time soon enough,” Bucky says, smirking, “I’d say it’s been a while since I’ve had some.”
Sam shakes his head laughing, as he turns another hallway toward his room.
~~~
Steve and Bucky make their way to the hut, holding hands sometime along the way.
“We never got to do this.” Bucky says, as he opens the door.
They walk in, and Bucky takes off his shoes. Steve follows, but continues to strip. He removes his uniform down to his Under Armour and boxers. Bucky raises an eye-brow, but does the same. They just stand there in the middle of the room, breathing. It’s quiet again, but not as stifling as it was this morning. Steve glances around the room, taking it in, and turns to Bucky. He has a halo around his head, his hair a silver blonde. Bucky can’t stop staring at him.
“It’s been a long time, Buck.” Steve says.
And Bucky knows what he means. It’s been 80 years since they just got to be Steve and Bucky. And they have the chance to be something more. Maybe it’s always been more, and they both knew it. They just didn’t say anything. Bucky closes the distance between them, really taking Steve in as he goes.
There’s a weightiness in his eyes Steve can feel washing over him. No urgency, just a sober focus that roots him to the floor. In their shirts and boxers, he’s never felt more exposed. It’s as if he weren’t wearing anything, under Bucky’s gaze. His heart skips a beat.
Bucky runs his hands up Steve’s arms to his neck, cradling his head. They lean their foreheads together, breathing each other in, their eyes closed. They can hear some goats in the distance, interweaving into the heartbeats in their ears. Steve runs his hands down Bucky’s back.
Bucky sighs. “It’s been a long, long time.”
He tilts his head to chastely kiss his lips. Steve pulls him closer, his hands running up his back, opening his mouth to deepen their kiss. Their lips are chapped, pulling lightly as they part to breathe.
“I don’t want you out of my sight ever again.” Steve says.
Bucky hums his assent, his hands taking physical inventory of Steve’s flank, his hair. Being able to touch without worry for tomorrow.
Bucky tilts his head up, looking under his eye-lashes, and Steve is transported back to when he was shipping out.
“Let’s get married.” Bucky states.
Steve lets out a breath, “Yeah...Let’s get married.”