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After the exhaustion of going to Hong Kong, meeting Daisuke’s grandmother, being held up in the crime with the ChainTuber, using Daisuke’s complexly simple gadgets, and going through his trauma with guns, Haru just wants to rest.
But nooo, the universe seems to want him to just suffer all the time.
Haru should’ve expected Daisuke to break a traffic law because that’s exactly what he did the last few times they were in a car together. Yet he still was surprised when Daisuke stepped on the pedals and they zoomed across the road.
“Kanbee-!” Haru yelled through the dangerously speedy car. “Slow down, idiot!”
Daisuke glanced at him, his cold eyes giving Haru a quick look-over, and then the car slowed down.
Haru grumbled to himself as Daisuke continued driving at a normal speed. After a few seconds, Haru allowed himself to sink into the awfully comfortable seat and finally take the rest he knows he deserves (and also will need, because he plans on working on another case as soon as possible).
The moment Haru let out a little sigh, Daisuke spoke up.
“Haru-”
“Don’t call me by my first name, bastard!” Haru snarled immediately, turning to the windows to hide his reddening face.
“But we’re partners,” Daisuke smoothly replied.
“That doesn’t matter,” Haru mumbled into his hand, “doesn’t give you permission to call me something so personal.”
“I see,” Daisuke hummed, and didn’t talk after that. Haru almost believed the silence would last, but then Daisuke opened his mouth once more. “So, how much?”
Haru’s left eye twitched. “Excuse me?”
“How much do you want, for me to call you Haru?” Daisuke smirked, looking like he enjoys Haru’s scowl too much.
“Nothing! You can’t call me that, not for a billion yen!” Haru yelled. When will it get through his thick skull?? Haru doesn’t want money! Especially Daisuke’s money.
“Ten billion, then?” Daisuke offered.
“NO!”
“A trillion.”
“You- you don’t have that much,” Haru said, half believing himself and half bullshitting. Haru turned to face Daisuke and an expression of horror overtook his features, when he realized he’s bullshitting.
“So, it’s a trillion you want?” Daisuke asked, smirking.
“NO!” Haru yelped, and he wanted to rip out his hair. Why is Daisuke so annoying?? “No, I don’t want any money, dumbass!”
“Then what should I do to earn first-name privileges?” Daisuke asked and Haru’s eyes widened a bit when he realized how sincere the billionaire sounded.
Haru grumbled for a few seconds straight.
Daisuke looked at him again. “Pardon?”
“First names are for friends,” Haru said louder, but still pretty soft, “so… you know… be my frien- gah, I sound like a kid. You know what I meant.”
“No, I don’t,” Daisuke smirked, because he clearly did, “please tell me what you meant. I even said please.”
“Saying please won’t do shit,” Haru growled, and his face is really red now. He cursed Daisuke for knowing exactly how to tease Haru into a red, blushing, and angry mess.
“Fine, I’ll be your friend,” Daisuke said at last. “I can call you Haru now, yes?”
“No!”
“Hm? Why not, we’re friends now.”
Haru wants to rip out his hair, again, and grow more hair just to rip them out again. Or maybe rip Daisuke’s slicked-back hair.
“I- I never said we’re friends. It’s one-sided right now.” Haru bullshitted again. Maybe if his job doesn’t work out, he could become a professional bullshitter and bullshit for a living.
“I see,” Daisuke nodded seriously, and continued driving.
“Finally,” Haru sighed to himself and sank into the seat again, closed his eyes, and relaxed.
“So, what I wanted to ask was--”
“I already said no!!” Haru interrupted with a glare.
“No, not that,” Daisuke waved dismissively and Haru thinks he’s crying, “I was going to ask you something before you distracted me with the first-name argument.”
“...Continue…” At this point, Haru’s too tired to even argue. He opted instead to just look at Daisuke judgmentally.
“As my senior, and under the request of grandmother, it’s your duty to coach me,” Daisuke began.
“For work purposes,” Haru raised an eyebrow. “And don’t make me sound like an old man.”
“I would like for you to coach me on kissing,” Daisuke said nonchalantly, and waited for Haru to stop choking on his spit. His car pulled to a stop in front of his mansion. “We’re here.”
Daisuke opened the car door and exited, leaving Haru to sit alone in the car while recovering from the shock. His mind is currently fried and he has no idea what to say, do, or even think.
Suddenly, the door on Haru’s side opened. Daisuke’s head popped in, unbothered, and he asked as if everything’s normal, “Aren’t you coming?”
“This isn't my home,” Haru managed.
“I know, I’m inviting you over. Now come.” Daisuke begins walking away to his mansion, and Haru has no choice but to follow the annoyingly confusing man.
“H-hey, we’re just gonna ignore what- what you just said?” Haru demanded as he caught up to Daisuke. Daisuke ignored him. “Oi, don’t ignore me!”
Daisuke turned to Haru with a smirk on his lips. “Wait until we go inside, my dear.”
“Your WHAT?!”
Daisuke ignored him.
“Kanbe!” Haru scowled. “I didn’t take you as the type to make crude jokes.”
“I’m not joking, Katou,” Daisuke objected with an innocently confused expression. Okay, let’s try to remember the order. Haru wants to rip out his hair, grow it again, rip it again, rip Daisuke’s hair, and then.... Punch Shinnosuke in the face.
“Take me back home,” Haru growled, “I’m too tired for this.”
“Ah, ah, no can do,” Daisuke chided with a smirk.
“Why not?”
“Because I said so,” Daisuke said because really, he has no excuse. Haru could tell right away and decided to stay anyway. Too much trouble going back into a car and driving for God knows how long, only to return to his feeble home that doesn’t compare to Daisuke’s giant mansion.
“Take me to your bedroom,” Haru sighed.
“Oh?” Daisuke blinked and a sly smirk formed. “You’re surprisingly direct, Kato.”
“I don’t care, it’s your fault for dragging me here,” Haru retorted.
“Of course,” Daisuke smiled gleefully, “Follow me then.”
The maids who overheard their conversation blushed rapidly and talked excitedly among themselves.
“You’re… you’re just going to sleep?” Daisuke asked, clearly puzzled. He wondered briefly if this is some sort of foreplay.
“Yeah,” Haru replied softly, his face comfortably smushed against Daisuke’s unfairly soft pillows, “why else would I ask to come here?”
“Oh,” Daisuke sounded incredibly disappointed. "Right."
Haru yawned. “What’d you expect?”
“Something… that goes along with what you’re supposed to coach me on,” Daisuke revealed, and Haru doesn’t like how Daisuke’s voice suddenly turned smooth and inviting, like caramel dipped in chocolate.
Haru opened his eyes lazily and immediately closed them again, blushing, and he sat up, his hands covering his eyes. His mouth opened and closed, not knowing what to do or say. Finally, he stammered out a sentence.
“WHY THE HELL ARE YOU NAKED?!”
“I suppose this is what he meant when he called you ‘too innocent’,” Daisuke mused, as if he's not naked right now.
“PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!!”