Archive of Our Own ^beta

Taehyung is pretty sure his life is as close to perfect as it can get when you’re 17 and feel like the entire world is pressing hard on your shoulders.

He’s not the best student by any means, but he gets by. He’s not living some extraordinarily lavish life like some of the kids at this school, but he’s never had to want for anything. He does have two great friends who have been there for him through thick and thin, the prestigious spot as captain of his cheerleading team, and he just recently made their school’s beauty of a soccer captain his boyfriend.

Not bad, Kim Taehyung.

These factors have led him to being one of the more frequently talked about students at their school, but that’s not anything he really lets get to his head. Taehyung sees it as more people to be friends with, more people to surround himself with and talk to comfortably when the situation allows it. Otherwise, he considers himself to have his priorities pretty straight.

In fact, everything seems to be going so smoothly in his life that Taehyung’s almost suspicious. A part of him is a little too sure, a little too paranoid, that something is going to topple it all over at a moment's notice.

And that’s where he finds himself at the beginning of his senior year of high school, sitting alone in the cafeteria waiting for his friends to arrive from their shared class as he picks disinterestedly at the rice on his lunch platter.

He’s glad for his lack of hunger when Jimin comes barreling in with barely concealed excitement a minute later, slamming his palms so hard on the table with an unnecessary suddenness that Taehyung nearly drops his chopsticks.

“Uh...?” Taehyung looks at Jimin with perturbed worry, though merely let’s out a hiss of a sigh when Jimin just ignores him to slip comfortably into the seat beside him.

“You gonna eat that?” Jimin says, already sliding the plate over to himself without any further acknowledgement to the other.

Taehyung looks helplessly back to Hoseok, who trails nonchalantly after the exuberant male. They make eye contact, Hoseok only offering a shrug and a slight laugh before dropping his backpack into the seat across from them.

What makes Taehyung look back to the other is Jimin plucking his chopsticks out of his hands without asking again.

“You know you can just go buy your own lunch.” Taehyung grumbles, propping the weight of his head onto his hand as he watches Jimin scarf down the last of his rice.

“Why would I do that when I can eat for free?”

“Leech.” Taehyung pinches his knee in response.

“Your leech.” Jimin replies, voice saccharine in a way meant to grate on Taehyung’s nerves.

With a scoff and a disgruntled look to the other boy, his eyes roam over to where Hoseok sits. He’s got his head buried in a textbook and a pencil scratching frantically across notebook paper. It’s not an unfamiliar sight in the least, though that’s not to say Hoseok is very studious. More studious than he and Jimin certainly, which is saying something as Hoseok really hardly ever does his homework on time or studies before the test day. It’s a wonder any of them are going to graduate.

“What’s that for?” Taehyung drawls, neck craning to get a peek at the words.

“Mr. Choi’s class, we have a reading quiz in two periods and I didn’t do jack shit for it.” Hoseok grumbles back, not even sparing him a glance.

Taehyung makes to say something to convey his empathy, even getting as far as opening his mouth, when Jimin clatters his (Taehyung’s) recyclable chopsticks noisily to the table. He slams his palms down a few times for extra effect, as well.

Hoseok does not look up.

Though it doesn’t seem to be Hoseok’s attention that Jimin is after right now, his eyes shimmering with a deviance that immediately makes Taehyung slightly wary as they stare at each other.

“There’s a new student.” Jimin announces, his tone slick like its some sort of secret.

Taehyung attempts to look uninterested at this, but the way the other is practically vibrating in excitement has his eyes narrowing against his will. “Okay?”

“I think you’ll want to know who it is.” That sly glint in Jimin’s eye continues to make Taehyung increasingly nervous, the one that only makes its presence known when Jimin is up to no good.

This makes Hoseok raise his head from his textbook, gazing with wide eyed curiosity at the mirth in Jimin’s tone. Hoseok, who is not one for gossip, tilts his head in wait for what the boy is going to say next.

“Okay... who is it?”

Jimin, ever one for dramatics, slowly looks back and forth between the two of them. Taehyung rolls his eyes at the gesture, though finds himself straightening up in apprehension anyways. You can never truly know with Park Jimin, a boy who looks as sweet as the summer clouds but always has the most unpredictable things to say. He’s a firecracker, really more the fire to Taehyung’s matchstick.

“Jeon Jeongguk.” And with that, leans back away from them as if he just dropped the biggest bombshell.

And... and, holy shit. Taehyung feels his eyes widen to the brink of tears and his jaw tightens so hard it hurts.

He had to have heard this wrong. No way is that what Jimin just said.

“What?” Taehyung forces the meek response through the dread locked in his throat.

“Jeon Jeongguk just transferred here from some school south of here.” Jimin repeats, looking at Taehyung with that knowing smile.

Because Jimin remembers. And Jimin knows Taehyung remembers him, too. There’s no way he couldn’t.

“Jeongguk?” Taehyung asks again, his voice clearer with insistence. He needs to confirm that this is just some fucked up prank the universe is playing on him.

“Yup.” Jimin says, popping the ‘p’.

“Like... Jeongguk?”

“That’s what I said.”

“As in, Jeon Jeongguk?” Taehyung continues, frantically. This is so fucked up, this is so fucked up.

“How many Jeongguks do you know?” Jimin says disparagingly, leveling Taehyung with a dry look.

“What the fuck.”

“I’m sorry, but who?” Hoseok cuts in, even going as far to put his pencil down to give whatever the fuck this is his full attention.

Taehyung flushes hot with humiliation, looking away from the other boy. Jimin, on the other hand, has absolutely no problem spilling Taehyung’s embarrassing past.

“Oh, he’s just the boy Taehyungie dated in eighth grade.” Jimin says it so flippantly, like it's no big deal.

And, really, it would be— if not for the fact that this was not just any boy Taehyung dated in eighth grade. This was Jeon Jeongguk that Taehyung dated in eighth grade.

“Really? That’s it?” Hoseok’s gaze flits between Jimin and Taehyung, the latter of which is shrinking more and more into himself. “That’s not a big deal at all, he probably doesn’t even remember.”

But Jimin’s reign of terror is not complete yet.

“No, he definitely does.” Jimin says for him. Hoseok looks at him. “Go on, Taehyung. Why don’t you tell him?”

“Is there a reason you delight so much in my misery, you depraved piece of shit?” Taehyung snaps.

Jimin just laughs at him, lips tilting up with mirth and eyes imploring Taehyung to continue.

Taehyung sighs under the weight of his two friends beseeching gazes, mentally preparing himself for this. “We were like... ‘in love’, kind of dating. Like swore we were soulmates and were going to marry each other one day, kind of dating.”

Like, sent each other love letters kind of dating. Shaking hearts and palms tacky with sweat kind of dating. The kind of dating where they were so enamored with each other they were positively attached at the hip, the kind where /everyone/ knew they were dating.

That kind of dating.

It’s safe to assume both parties were dramatically devastated when Jeongguk was forced to move back to his home with his family, the younger promising to return to him one day. For there went his first relationship and, more importantly, his little Jeonggukkie.

“Um.”

“I know, it’s so embarrassing.” The one word response making Taehyung curl in on himself.

“Were you... in love?” Hoseok asks apprehensively, as if he was skirting around a very sensitive topic.

And maybe it would be a sensitive topic, if the relationship hadn’t happened when they were so young and innocent and Taehyung wasn’t 18 now. Grown, moved on.

“No! We were, like, 14!” Taehyung insists.

And again, maybe he would’ve grown to really be in love with Jeongguk eventually. But they were in eighth grade. They loved each other, but Taehyung can’t say they were in love.

“It’s hilarious looking back on it, they were so awkward with each other. It gave me second hand in embarrassment.” Jimin cuts in.

Taehyung pinches his knee again, more strength behind it. “I swear to God, I’ll kill you.”

“Aw, but then who will Jeongguk marry?” Jimin pouts, batting his hand away.

Taehyung wills all the venom he can muster into his glare. Jimin holds it, his eyes alight with deviance and his expression betraying no hint of surrender. Taehyung relents, sighing and placing his forehead into his palms.

“I just... can’t believe this is really happening. I never thought he’d come back?”

Because Jeon Jeongguk coming back meant a lot of things. It meant Taehyung reliving the embarrassment that was their short lived relationship, it meant Jeongguk remembering and reaching out to Taehyung, and it certainly meant public embarrassment if Jeongguk was to share what they once had.

Because Taehyung was popular, and people loved having his name in their mouths.

“Let’s look on the bright side, maybe he really has forgotten about it?” Hoseok attempts, sensing Taehyung’s distress.

“I doubt it,” Jimin interjects. “That boy was absolutely smitten with Taehyung, it was sickeningly sweet.”

“You can shut up now.” Taehyung grumbles.

“Like, I’m talking 24/7 heart eyes even before they were dating.” Jimin chooses to ignore him. “Like, Jeongguk was giving Taehyung love letters all the time. Oh my god, and Taehyung- ow!”

Taehyung silences him with one swift kick to the shin, looking at him reproachfully. “Do you have an off switch? Should I help you find it?”

“You’ve known me long enough to know the answer to that one.” Jimin replies, nonplussed.

Hoseok giggles, shaking his head at his antics before a look of horror washes over his features. “Ah,” he grumbles, slapping his forehead and hastily picking his pencil to get back to scribbling his notes. “You guys need to stop distracting me.”

“Maybe if you did your work...” Jimin says sagely, sighing and shaking his head.

“Rich coming from you, Park.” Hoseok mutters, though proceeding to pay them no more attention.

Rich, indeed. For, again, effort was not their trios strong suit. Especially not Park Jimin’s, whose intimidatingly coy but equally kind nature garnered him most anything he wanted.

Taehyung sighs once more, his mind inadvertently walking the dangerous path back to the topic of Jeon Jeongguk. The boy Taehyung hadn’t allowed himself to think of for years after he was left ‘heart broken’, there just hadn’t been any point to. They were young and infatuated and Taehyung was sure he was never going to see the younger ever again. Evidently he was wrong.

The sigh catches Jimin’s attention, who prods softly at his arm. His gaze is kind, though the quirked eyebrow is expecting. “All I’m saying,” he starts lowly. “Is you better be ready for the storm this kid brings.”

A rare bout of nerves swings through his stomach, but he straightens up and smiles reassuringly. “Nah, it can’t be that bad. I mean, remember how reserved he was? I doubt I’ll even catch much of a glance of him if he’s anything like the way he used to be.”

Jimin looks like he has more he wants to say, but shuts his mouth at the pleading shine in Taehyung’s eye, instead launching into the latest inconvenience in his life: Min Yoongi, the quiet boy with a wit as sharp as his quips in his Ethics class.

He’s truly grateful for the conversation change, for even Taehyung knows there’s a lot more layers to the issue of Jeon Jeongguk being back than he’s allowing himself to think about. But he’s just not at the point where he can fully process every detail of the matter. He knows it’ll probably hit him like a ton of bricks later— the nostalgia, the memories— but for now he just wants to put it all off.

Taehyung just needs to remember that Jeongguk is nothing more than a bittersweet fragment from his youth.

—

He spends the day in a state of embarrassingly high paranoia.

Which is, seriously, humiliating. It’s embarrassing. It’s like his subconscious thinks Jeongguk is some kind of demon that’s gonna reap his soul and will to live if he so much as catches a glimpse of him.

And that’s even more embarrassing. The idea is laughable, considering who Jeon Jeongguk is. Or who Taehyung remembers Jeongguk to be. A boy with a nose too big for his face and eyes wider than the moon, sparking with endless curiosity and love for Taehyung. Certainly he’s grown more now, certainly he’s less limbs than height, certainly he’s matured physically but... Taehyung is even more certain that a boy as cripplingly shy and anxious as Jeongguk was must still be that way, and so he doesn’t count on really even seeing the boy.

Taehyung remembers him to be the type that will only be seen if he wants to be seen. The ball is always in his court in that regard, and he’s as light and agile as a feather with slipping away to simply become out of sight and out of mind.

It’s with that thought in mind that he’s able to make his way through the hallways with a weight lifted off his chest. Because, really, even if he does cross paths with the younger,—a rarity when they’re in different grades, anyways—he can simply just speak amicably with him. They were good friends once upon a time.

Taehyung tries not to really think about that just yet, though.

However, he remembers Jimin’s unwillingness to truly let things go until they’re solved to his satisfaction later on in the day.

It’s during the last period switch of the day, wherein he’s exchanging his math textbook for his literature one, Jimin standing suspiciously intimidatingly at his side. The other is leaning against the adjacent locker, a familiar glint in his eye. It’s a combination of mischievous and serious, akin to the shine it held earlier at lunch. Taehyung already knows what conversation they’re going to have.

“So,” Jimin starts, tone not at all suspicious. Taehyung barely favors him with a glance. “Jeongguk.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes despite already knowing that this was a topic his friend was not likely to drop. Nosy as fuck, Taehyung thinks.

“What about him?” He replies, shifting around the mess in his locker. He scrunches his nose up in distaste, how the hell did he manage to let it get so disheveled in such a short amount of time? He bets Hoseok and Jimin’s kickers are perfectly pristine.

“You really have nothing to say about it?” Jimin asks, disbelieving. Which is... understandable. Taehyung wishes the other was insane for expecting anything.

Taehyung releases a deep sigh, exhaling out the little pieces of stress within his chest he hasn’t wanted to pay any mind to just yet. He breathes in once, turns to Jimin, quirks a single brow.

“What do you want me to say about it?” Taehyung counters, looking over Jimin’s features expectantly.

“I don’t know, Tae... just- you guys were really close before, weren’t you?”

Taehyung shakes his head and turns back to his locker to do absolutely nothing, ignoring the squeeze of his heart. “We were young. It’s not a big deal, I’m a different person with a different life now. I’m sure he is, too.”

The denial is easy. Logical. Realistic. Taehyung is realistic. He’s not hung up on a boy he dated when he was in eighth grade. He has a boyfriend and a very different life now.

Jimin doesn’t say anything, though Taehyung knows he has a lot more he wants to say. He knows the silence must be because of the dismissal in his tone, knows Jimin isn’t saying anything because for as annoying as he can be he’s a pretty damn good friend. Taehyung sighs, shutting his locker and shouldering his bag, gesturing for Jimin to follow.

They walk in perfect harmony before Jimin nudges him into attention once more, not allowing a single moment for Taehyung to wallow in his creeping thoughts just yet. Taehyung side eyes him, comforted by the absence of that serious glint in the others eye.

“Listen, though...” Jimin says, and Taehyung wonders if perhaps he shouldn’t have gotten so comfortable. A live wire, remember? “I was talking to Sunmi-“

Taehyung scoffs out a laugh. “Why’re you talking to Sunmi? She’s a bitch.”

“She’s not a bitch, Tae. You’re just pissy because she wore the same skirt as you to that party one time.” Jimin says exasperatedly.

Taehyung purses his lips, hands coming down to smooth at the tops of his pants in memory. “I don’t trust lesbians.”

“Oh, shut up,” Jimin rolls his eyes uninterestedly. “Anyways, I was talking to Sunmi who was talking to Heeyeon-“

“What is it with you and lesbians?”

“Can you let me finish?”

Taehyung scoffs, turning back to face the hallway as they walk.

“So Heeyeon, who was talking to Sooyoung,” Jimin continues settling his own backpack more comfortably on his shoulder. “And her boyfriend is also on the soccer team. You know Sungjae?”

Taehyung pouts his lips in thought, thinking of all the guys he’s seen when he visits Bogum at practice. “Uh, yeah, kind of?”

“Right, so Sungjae is on the soccer team, and he said that they just finished up tryouts. Guess who signed up?”

Taehyung glances warily at Jimin, who just smiles sweetly at him. Too sweetly. Taehyung looks back to the expanse of the hall filled with students with a foreboding twinge in his stomach.

“Jeon Jeongguk,” Jimin says excitedly. “Guess who got in?”

Fuck.

He tries to ignore the twinge in his stomach at the mention of the name again, frowning as he processes the news.

Jeon fucking Jeongguk, Taehyung thinks miserably. “Who?” Is what he says.

“Jeon Jeongguk.” Jimin pronounces slowly, lips curled with delight. “Apparently, he’s like, insanely good. Better than your boyfriend.” It’s said with a hint of smugness.

And, okay. That’s fair. He knows Jimin doesn’t like his boyfriend very much, but they’ve only been dating for just under a month. Taehyung knows Bogum hasn’t done much for the relationship, but they’re still a new couple. There’s time to grow into it still, right?

Against his better judgment he murmurs, “Oh, I bet he loved that.”

“He pitched a fit with the coach, said he didn’t want him in. Insisted Jeongguk had a bad attitude.” Jimin replies, voice tinged with amusement.

Which is odd because the Jeongguk that Taehyung remembers is sweet. Wide eyed and gentle, soft and understanding, shy and reserved. He never had a bad thing to say about anyone, was simply too kind to. Too anxious to.

And then it hits him.

“Wait,” he stops Jimin for a moment, only continuing when the disgruntled bustle of students pushes them forward. “He did what?”

“Huh?”

“Jeongguk,” he ignores how his heart stutters over the memory attached to the name, goddamnit. “He... he tried out? For soccer?”

Jimin nods once in confirmation.

And this makes Taehyung frown. He supposes he shouldn’t really be applying old Jeongguk to apparently new Jeongguk, just as he expects no one to apply Taehyung now to Taehyung then, but... but it’s odd. Jeongguk was never particularly athletic, preferring to stay in and video game or just simply keep to himself. He was certainly never one to try out for something. He was like a deer in the woods, terrified of anyone and anything.

So it’s safe to say Taehyung is just a little perplexed at the thought of his little Jeonggukkie trying out publicly to play a publicly competitive sport.

“Huh.” Is all Taehyung says in response, not noticing the look Jimin gives him in return.

He knows he said he wouldn’t think about it too much just yet but, fuck, if it isn’t hard.

He sees Jimin shrug out of the corner of his eye, before the boy decides to launch into another topic. He hopes it doesn’t have anything to do with Jeongguk, but he knows at this point that’s becoming wishful thinking. God, when did they become a couple of teenage girls?

“So...” Jimin wiggles his eyebrows. “I also heard he’s hot as fuck.”

At that, Taehyung lets out a loud bark of laughter, shoving Jimin into their shared classroom. Jimin can try to tell him as many rumors he’s heard about Jeon Jeongguk as he wants, but that’s one Taehyung will not even consider. He can’t fathom Jeongguk being /hot/. The younger was always very cute, gangly and awkward but cute. Never hot.

“Hush now, Jimin.” He says sweetly, sliding into his seat and watching the bustle of students pour in.

“No, seriously,” Jimin drops his bag to the tiled floor with a thump. “I’ve heard from multiple eye witnesses that he’s hot as fuck now.”

“Okay, and you’re reporting this live from a birds eye view?” Taehyung retorts, leaning his cheek onto the palm of his hand.

Jimin kicks him none too softly. “Just you wait, Kim Taehyung.”

Taehyung hums in amusement, his lips curling up as Jimin huffs at him. The bell lets out a shrill ring, Taehyung sliding his palms against the cool surface of the dark desk.

He’d like to say Jeongguk has left his mind by the time their teacher begins class, but that would be a lie.

—

Jeongguk as an idea and a memory in his mind, regrettably, does not leave for the remainder of the day. He finds himself subconsciously eyeing the crowds of students and groups of friends for that flash of shaggy raven hair and slip of petal pink lips when he’s on his way out of the school to walk home. Old habits die hard, he supposes. Especially when the habits never really got the closure to truly die, not when they’re awakened by just the insistent remind of Jeongguk is here, Jeongguk could be near you at any moment.

Taehyung can’t really tell if his heart squeezes with relief or disappointment when he doesn’t catch a glimpse of anyone who even looks like the boy.

Normally he and Jimin, sometimes Hoseok if they didn’t get a chance to talk to him for awhile, walk home together as they’ve been next door neighbors since they were in diapers. Their friendship was truly unavoidable there. But today Jimin had to stay after again at his will for chemistry help from his science teacher. So, Taehyung must endure the admittedly short walk home alone to stew in his thoughts. Which is honestly a better thing than he’s giving it credit for, considering that Jimin would probably keep trying to hound the point of Jeongguk into his brain. Not that it isn’t already decently stuck in there at this point.

God, he’s pathetic. And embarrassing. Embarrassingly pathetic. He can’t stand himself.

He lets out an impressively heated sigh against the August humidity, shuffling his backpack straps firmer against his shoulder. He doesn’t want to think about this just yet. Not while he’s in the middle of a public sidewalk and could suffer a brain hernia right there on the spot by thinking about this shit for too long.

When he finally stomps home through their driveway and through their walkway, opening and closing their front door perhaps a little too loudly to announce his arrival, his mom sticks her head out the kitchen doorway and makes a face at him.

“I thought you had cheerleading practice?”

Despite the tension curling in Taehyung’s limbs, he feels himself sag a little at the bottom of the stairs with a muted laugh. “No, that’s on Wednesdays. It’s a Monday.”

She makes another face, eyes narrowing at the wall as if trying to tell if that’s a lie or not. As if Taehyung would ever be able to skip practice, as if he could afford to. Finally, she waves him on and he can’t help the amused huff of laughter then, bounding more comfortably up the stairs.

“I’m locking the door, please knock if you decide to barge in!” He yells when he’s at the top, body taut in anticipation to leap into his room from where he grips the top rail.

Her response is something he’d barely count as a response, just a loud noise of acknowledgement. He shakes his head with a soft chuckle, rolling his eyes. Oftentimes does his mother's sass remind him of Jimin, and he supposes that’s why those two get along so well and are subsequently a terror to be around.

Taehyung loves his mom and he’s thankful for all her support, but right now he needs to curl up into a ball and scream into his pillow about all the woes of his stupid little life undisturbed right now. You know, like a typical teenager.

When his door is shut firmly behind him, he situates himself onto his bed with a speed and agility that he’s sure would impress an Olympic gymnast, curling himself up around his largest and softest pillow. Cuddling something is always a go to to calm Taehyung down, and fuck does he need calming down right now.

It’s not that he’s about to lose it in a panic attack or something, it’s just that he needs to stop thinking so much. It’s just that he needs to stop thinking so much about a boy who probably doesn’t even think about him anymore.

God, that makes him seem so hung up on the younger. He’s not. He isn’t. He hasn’t seen Jeongguk in almost four years, it would be stupid of him to still be into the guy. He’s turning 18 this year, he was 15 when they dated. That would be so embarrassing.

Well... maybe-

No. He doesn’t. He has a different life and a boyfriend, for god's sakes. He has a boyfriend who likes him that he likes back and has been there for him. Okay, maybe Bogum hasn’t paid him a whole lot of attention as of late but Taehyung doesn’t want to be clingy about it and he understands that Bogum is really busy with soccer right now. Okay, maybe Taehyung isn’t really all that happy about it, but relationships are about compromise. He really likes Bogum, it’s okay.

(He ignores the fact that Bogum hasn’t been doing a whole lot of compromising for him.)

It’s just... as much as it pains him to admit, Jeongguk is Jeongguk.

He definitely skated over the reality of the situation and just who it really was that was coming back into his life when he explained it to Hoseok. They weren’t just stupid, young teenagers who were infatuated with each other. They were friends first, good friends. Friends that clicked so well they found themselves wondering how they ever could live without the other, friends who knew every single thing about each other, friends who were always there.

Which is still just the tip of the iceberg, really. Jeongguk was a sweet boy that had always trailed yearningly after Taehyung and Jimin from the time he was 14 and they 15, a time long before Hoseok had entered their friendship. With eyes as wide as the moon and hair as soft as raven’s down, you’d have to be a fool to not see the way he looked at Taehyung. Like the elder was different. Special.

And Jeongguk was beautiful, a gentle boy who Taehyung was helpless to do anything but want to love and protect. Jeongguk was shy and reserved, just this small little thing that Taehyung’s young heart longed to defend. He was someone Taehyung wanted so badly to wrap himself around and never let go, soft and kind and so wonderful it made Taehyung’s heart ache with wonder.

But they were friends first and foremost.

He wasn’t ever expecting the little boy who had become an extension of his being to confess, oblivious to the heart eyes and attempts to woo. But Jeongguk was Jeongguk, and Taehyung never had the will to say no to him. It seemed so natural to accept, even more natural to be together.

They were closer than close, loving each other in a way that wasn’t quite true love just yet, but could be. Could certainly grow to be. Probably would’ve grow to be, given the right time and care.

But they never had the chance to get that kind of time, not when Jeongguk’s life was suddenly swept up in a whirlwind of the insistence to move back home with his family and away from Taehyung for what he was sure was forever. Sure, the younger had promised he would come back for Taehyung one day, but he knew those were just hasty words of a stupid teenager. Taehyung knew better, as much as it left him heartbroken for longer than he’d like to admit.

But he’s over Jeongguk. And his mind needs to shut up and stop thinking things that don’t matter.

Suddenly he’s overcome with a wave of anger, a soft and muted rage thrumming in his veins like a deadly spark of flame in the woods. Just who does Jeongguk think he is? Waltzing back into Taehyung’s life and messing everything up with the mere thought of his presence alone? Taehyung has worked hard to get to where he is now, is working his ass off even harder to get to a better place, and he will not let some stupid big nosed prick from his past mess it all up.

Taehyung is not full of himself.

But he is a teenager, and he’s a teenager who wants to end his senior year on a good note. He wants to be the popular cheer leader with good grades, good friends, and a smoking hot boyfriend. He’s worked so hard to be in that comfortable position, to carefully make sure nothing is amiss. His senior year is supposed to be memorable in a good way, and he’ll be damned if he lets Jeon Jeongguk just come in and topple it all over.

Jeon Jeongguk is just a boy from his past, one that should not—does not, really—hold the weight of importance he once did. Taehyung is sure they won’t even cross paths again at this point, anyways. And if they did, Taehyung would simply bid Jeongguk as a stranger at worst and an acquaintance at best.

A simple ‘Hey, buddy! Remember when we were best friends and then dated and then you moved away and took my heart with you? Yeah, me neither!’.

Yeah, that’s what Taehyung will do. It’s all okay.

—

Taehyung has considerably more confidence for school the next day, enough to dress up a little more and style his hair. He knows he’s cute and pretty, and nothing is going to stop the bounce in his step.

After his self pep talk, he went to bed feeling rather relaxed and refreshed. He has a game plan now, a plan that will ensure his plan for a perfect senior year is not disrupted by someone he no longer truly knows.

It’s when he’s getting materials from his locker for the first few periods of the day, as well as waiting for Jimin to meet him so they can walk to class, that he begins to hear a sort of conversational hush fall over students within his vicinity. There’s still loud laughs and jeers of enthusiastic teenagers talking with their friends, but the whispered murmurs are undeniable to Taehyung’s ears even still.

He hears the girl at the locker to his right let out a muted gasp of what sounds like awe, causing him to furrow a single brow in question and slight annoyance before deciding to turn around himself and see what all the commotion is all about. It really can’t be that interesting, and he isn’t expecting much at all.

And, of course, he’s right. As always. It’s just some guy strolling nonchalantly down the hallways in a way that’s so cliche that it reminds Taehyung of those stupid high school chick flicks, especially with how all the girls around him are reacting. The guy is relatively unfamiliar, probably an underclassman, so he rolls his eyes and turns back to his locker.

It’s when the features of the boy begin to cement in his mind that he does a double take, whipping back around at breakneck speed to see the guy getting closer.

Wait, he thinks. Oh my god, wait.

The longer he stares at the guys face the more his heart begins to race at an uncomfortable rate. There’s something frighteningly familiar about him, yet he can’t quite put his finger on who it could be past all that... muscle. He’s incredibly attractive, and now Taehyung gets why his peers were playing the parts of chick flick teenagers, all confident stride and broad shoulders. Taehyung looks at him, really looks at the guy, and... holy fuck.

How could he forget those eyes?

He knows he must look like the world's worst creep, his mouth gaping open wide and his eyes bugged out unattractively. But unless he’s fucking insane, he knows deep down he’s looking at none other than Jeon fucking Jeongguk. There are subtle and not so subtle differences, changes that are minuscule and changes that are glaringly obvious. Taehyung hates that he can still catch all the minute details of the younger after all this time.

Because the Jeon Jeongguk that Taehyung remembers is shy, reserved, and small. A wisp of a boy with eyes too big for his face who looked at Taehyung like the older had hung the stars in the sky. Gentle, kind, all give and no take. Taehyung’s baby.

This Jeon Jeongguk is wildly different from any of the memories Taehyung can manage to conjure up. Broad, strong, tall, his features defined and the fire in his eyes intimidating. The sleeves of his shirt hug very pronounced muscles, hands rougher and more manly. Where there was once a nose too big for his face is one that’s now strongly sloped, drawing attention to those eyes. They’re just as beautiful as Taehyung remembers, and he’s so pleased to see that they still sparkle with glitter despite the more narrowed appearance they’ve taken on.

He’s obviously filled out a lot, grown into those gangly limbs and became someone devastatingly handsome. He’s so broad now that Taehyung wonders if he’s even taller than the older, which would be humiliating.

Taehyung really can’t help the heavy flush that sits too comfortably on his cheeks, flustered and fucking confused. Who is this man? What did he do with Taehyung’s little Jeonggukkie?

All of a sudden Jeongguk’s eyes snap to his, no doubt because of Taehyung’s weirdly intense stare, and it only takes the younger’s beautiful eyes to widen imperceptibly in recognition for Taehyung to hastily whip back around to his locker.

He can feel his heart beating rapidly in his fucking throat and, oh my god. What the fuck? He’s seriously ready to jump off a cliff right about now because what is going on? What the hell was that?

He feels a sudden heavy presence on his shoulders soon after, jolting violently and turning around with a terrified expectancy to see Jeongguk leering down at him. Thankfully, or unthankfully, it’s just Jimin. Jimin, who peers at him suspiciously.

Taehyung is still reeling, releasing a heavy sigh of relief when he notices there’s no sight of Jeongguk near him any longer.

“Uh?” Jimin says, tilting his head.

Taehyung stares at the floor, eyes wide and brows knitted together.

“You good, Tae?” Jimin pats his shoulder forcefully in some kind of attempt to snap Taehyung out of it. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

A ghost. Yes, a ghost. A really hot ghost that was definitely not that hot the last time Taehyung saw him. An incredibly attractive ghost that Taehyung is realizing is going to haunt the fuck out of him.

Taehyung grimaces, shaking his head. “Ugh, lets just go to class.”

Jimin looks at him unconvinced, though relents when Taehyung slams his locker shut and tugs him along. He knows he won’t hear the end of this so soon, knows Jimin is gonna be pressing for answers at lunch when they next all see each other, but he just can’t right now. Just like he needed to process that Jeongguk was now back, he needs to process that Jeongguk is actually back and looks like that.

So much for a plan for a good senior year.

—

“Alright, Kim Taehyung,” Jimin says at lunch over a mouth full of rice. “Fess up, what was going on this morning?”

Taehyung wrinkles his nose at him. “You might wanna try swallowing your food before speaking.”

Jimin regards him with a flat, unimpressed look before making a show of noisily swallowing the rice gathering in his mouth. He then opens his mouth to show the lack of food present, though Taehyung still shoved him in disgust.

“Gonna tell me what was happening then?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Because that’s the best way to go about this, pretending nothing is happening. Because that’s been working out so well for him.

Jimin shares an almost conspiratorial look with Hoseok, who is not doing his homework the period before it’s done for once, and Taehyung realizes they’ve probably been talking about him and the way he’s been behaving lately. Like he has a screw loose, to be exact.

“Oh my god,” Taehyung groans. “Nothing is happening.”

Hoseok quirks a brow in answer. “You’ve never really been one for lying.”

Taehyung purses his lips at him tightly, resisting the urge to sulk in his seat. His two fellow upperclassmen simply stare at him as if in wait for him to explain, their gazes unnervingly expectant. Taehyung is forced to let out a sigh of defeat, for his friends are nothing if not persistent, and he holds no desire to drag this out longer than necessary. Besides, he’s not exactly sure how keen he is on keeping all this stress over the development of Jeon Jeongguk to himself.

“I didn’t realize,” he starts, voice soft with nerves and a flush already crawling up his neck. “Exactly just how, um- hot Jeongguk’s become.”

Jimin slams his fists on the lunchroom table with much more dramatic force than is necessary, Hoseok only raising his brows in surprise.

“You saw him?” Jimin bursts out, eyes wide with intense scrutiny.

Taehyung shrinks a little, mumbling out a small “Yeah...”

“What happened?” Hoseok presses, now equally just as intrigued with the tale of Taehyung’s misery.

God, what has his life become?

“We, um,” he folds his hands together anxiously, eyes darting around the cafeteria as if Jeongguk is somewhere hiding in the shadows. “Just made eye contact, I guess.”

“You guess?” Jimin continues.

“I don’t know!”

“Did you or did you not make eye contact with Jeon Jeongguk this morning?” Jimin interrogates, sounding awfully like Taehyung is being questioned for the worst kind of crime. Taehyung would laugh if not for the situation at hand.

It’s with the memory of those eyes, delicate pools of shimmering starlight looking right at him, the vision of the most beautiful man Taehyung thinks he’s ever seen, that he nods softly.

“Wow, my favorite love story is starting to come true.” Jimin leans back, folding his arms and looking a little too impressed with himself. As if he’s the force that made Jeongguk direct his eyes to his.

“Taehyung has a boyfriend, Jimin.” Hoseok, the voice of reason from time to time.

However the voice of reason washes over him like ice, Taehyung sitting up straight. Oh my god, he has a boyfriend.

“Oh my god, I have a boyfriend.”

“Yeah, one that treats you like garbage and barely ever has time for you.” Jimin rolls his eyes.

He’s not exactly wrong, Taehyung’s phone filled with several unanswered text messages and brushed off date plans as proof. But Taehyung really likes Bogum, still finds that attachment lingering in his heart no matter how upset he gets at the way he’s being treated.

“He’s not that bad, Minnie.” Taehyung insists, a weak defense.

“Not that bad, but Jeongguk is better.” Jimin retorts, his lips flattening.

“We don’t know that, Jeongguk could’ve grown up to be an asshole.” Hoseok cuts in, nonchalantly shoving food into his mouth as he does.

“Who’s side are you on here?” Jimin replies, pinching Hoseok lightly.

Hoseok swats his hand away. “I didn’t realize there was sides.”

“Quiet,” Taehyung shushes them, ignoring the affronted looks he receives in return. “It’s really not that big of a deal. We just saw each other one time, I probably won’t even see him again. This is a big school.”

Hoseok shrugs like he buys it, though Jimin is still looking at him. And, really, Jimin needs to start minding his business.

They’re still looking at him, though, so Taehyung realizes it’s time to bring in his clever deflection skills.

“So, Jimin,” he turns to the boy, who cocks an eyebrow in return. “Anything new with Yoongi?”

And with that, the topic of Jeon Jeongguk being a very present person at this school is dropped, Jimin immediately launching into the woes of Min Yoongi’s existence.

He shares a look with Hoseok, who stifles a laugh and pretends to look enthralled with Jimin’s complaints of the boy they have yet to meet. The back and forth between the two that Jimin always has to share with Taehyung and Hoseok is nothing but amusing, albeit annoying at times.

But at least it’s not a Jeongguk conversation, Taehyung really wants to avoid all of that for as long as he can.

—

He’s on his way to his locker when, from a distance, he can spot what appears to be a note hanging taped to the locker door.

Taehyung squints, head turning left and right to try to catch a glimpse of the supposed perpetrator amongst the crowd of students walking to and fro. Obviously, there’s no hints of suspicious activity or anyone who looks as if they just decided to randomly stick a note on his locker.

He scoffs, rolling his eyes and deciding to continue onwards to yank it off. It’s probably just another note from an admirer. It’s been awhile since he’s received one, ever since news of his relationship with Bogum spread around school, but he supposes it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary. Annoying, but whatever.

Upon closer inspection, however, he stops with a hand on the edge of the note in preparation to tear it down. His brows knit together, reading over the note.

His heart promptly drops into his stomach with what he’s sure is an audible thunk.

Hey, it reads.

I wasn’t sure if I’d ever see you again, Tae. Text me? xxx-xxx-xxxx

~Gukkie :)

He rips it off with a hushed gasp, holding it tight within his grip for a moment and just standing there. He can’t believe Jeongguk actually approached him, albeit in note form, but the audacity.

God, so much for a fucking senior year plan.

It takes a moment for the actual words of the message to settle in, and when they do, Taehyung is hastily un-crinkling it and smoothing out any wrinkles.

Tae.Tae. He called him Tae. Jeongguk called him Tae as if the years had never passed and they were just as close as they were when they were dating, before they were dating.

Gukkie.

Fuck, Taehyung wished that didn’t stir his heart in such a way it hasn’t been for a very long time. He didn’t truly expect Jeongguk to remember him, let alone reach out to him via note, let alone include their nicknames for each other in said note.

What the fuck.

He decides to fold it up as neatly as he can and slip it into his backpack pocket despite his natural instincts telling him to rip it up and ignore it.

Shaking his head and releasing an unsteady breath as a means to calm himself down, he hikes his backpack straps up on his shoulder and looks back and forth around the hallways. What if Jeongguk is watching him even now? All of his peers seem to be none the wiser, minding their business and paying him no attention, so the motion is fruitless. He’s not going to see anything out of the norm.

Jimin will be here soon, he thinks, unlocking his locker properly. so it’s best just to keep this to myself until I get home.

Until he gets home.

—

Taehyung knows it’s not right to brush his mom aside when she greets him after school, but he’s in desperate need to be an angsty and conflicted teenager in his room for the second day in a row. He knows he won’t hear the end of it later at dinner, but he’ll cross that bridge when he gets to it. He needs to deal with the note that weighs heavy like a ton of bricks in his bag.

As soon as his bedroom door is shut behind him, a familiar scene, he dumps his backpack on the bed and crawls up to sit cross legged before it. He chews on the corner of his thumb nail and just stares at it, looking to the closed door and back for a moment.

Taehyung needs to stop acting like this is the end of the world and he’s being haunted, he knows, but... it’s Jeongguk.

Ugh.

He shakes his head at himself, upset for still entertaining that mindset after so long, and leans forward to unzip the front pocket. His hands fall all over themselves as he pulls out the note and unfolds it, once more smoothing out the softened wrinkles as if wasting time from doing what he should be doing. Which is looking at the contents of the note.

There really isn’t a reason he needs to be looking at the note once more, it might as well be permanently burned into his brain at this point. His eyes trace the words, the familiar loops and bends of the younger’s handwriting and his heart clenches.

The note reminds him of something, something he hasn’t wanted to think about in a very long time, something he should’ve gotten rid of a very long time ago. Alas, it doesn’t seem Taehyung is very good at sticking to the do’s and don'ts.

Biting his lip, he places the note back down onto his bedspread and carefully slides off the mattress to kneel on the floor. With a heavy and almost ashamed sigh he reaches under his bed frame to pull out what the note reminds him of, a medium sized box unassuming in size and looks. It’s a light tan, just a simple box that could’ve once been used for decoration. He doesn’t really know, just know that once upon a time Jeon fucking Jeongguk gave him this box.

He lugs it up onto his bed, placing it on the other side of his backpack and scrambling back on to sit in his prior position. He sends another quick glance to the door to make sure no one is going to catch him in the act, as if he’s doing something truly shameful. Well, the reasonable side of Taehyung is ashamed, but that side hasn’t really had any say in a long time. With an audible sigh, he pops the lid off to reveal a stack of notes and letters.

Taehyung doesn’t really think he quite has the strength to truly look at the contents of what lays in front of him just yet, but he just needs to look. He doesn’t know why, but he does.

The notes are so special to him, ramblings of a moon eyed boy confessing all kinds of things to Taehyung. How much he admires him, how he looks up to him, how much he wants to be with him, how much he loves him, and then how much he’ll miss him.

It’s the sight of a little Gukkie peeking at him from the corner that reminds him of the other note he just received. He wonders if Jeongguk remembers all of these too. Taehyung grabs the little note, thumbing at the words before dropping it into the box with the rest of its relatives and gripping his hands at the edge of it. Taehyung has no intention of texting Jeongguk, not yet. The thought itself is overwhelming, and a direct wrench in his plans for senior year.

It’s funny that he still thinks he has control over the situation.

“Taehyung?” The bedroom door suddenly clicked open, and goddamnit, Taehyung forgot to lock it.

Taehyung scrambles and jolts out of pure surprise and embarrassment, quickly jamming the lid on and trying to hide the box behind his backpack. His mom peeks her head in, and he tries to look as natural as possible and not like he was just committing some heinous crime.

As always, though, she can see right through him. “Dinner’s ready,” she says, peering suspiciously at him.

“Okay.” Taehyung gazes wide eyed back at her, feeling a flush hot on the nape of his neck.

“Okay...” she replies, looking at him for a moment longer than necessary before slowly shutting the door.

He waits till he hears her footsteps bound down the hall and down the stairs to slide off the bed and shove the stupid, stupid box back under it. He wouldn’t put it past her to sneak attack open the door on him if she thinks he’s really up to something.

With another heavy exhale, he wipes his sweat ridden palms on the legs of his pants and heads downstairs after his mom.

“I thought I told you to knock,” he comments amicably, sliding into the seat across from her when he gets to the dining room table.

“And I did,” she replies, placing food first on his plate and then on hers. He ducks his head down in a gesture of thanks. “You just didn’t hear me.”

That makes the blush that still hadn’t quite dispersed intensify, mumbling out a small oh and stuffing his mouth with food to forget how embarrassing he’s been acting lately. Over a boy. Over Jeongguk.

“How’s Jimin?” His mom asks after a little while, against the nose of utensils and dinner entering their mouth.

He swallows before answering. “He’s good. Has a crush on a boy, I think.”

Jimin definitely does, even if he doesn’t know it quite yet. He just doesn’t know how to handle his feelings, hyper fixing the crush on Min Yoongi into hatred.

“How fun,” her tone is lighthearted, but he can hear there’s other things she wants to discuss. Probably why he was acting so weird in his room not even five minutes prior. “And cheer?”

He wrinkles his nose a little. “It's okay, we just started so we haven’t cemented any new routines just yet. Coach is working on something, but we haven’t been told much yet.”

Admittedly, the topic of cheer brightens him up a bit and loosens him up. He’s been doing cheerleading all of high school, a sport he got into to distract him from all the stress in his life. You’d think the routine and expectations of it would add even more stress, but he can only find that he loves the thrill of it. He worked hard to get to where he is, to be trusted as the team captain by their coach.

She smiles lovingly at him from across the table. “I’m glad. It sounds like you’re having fun.”

“I am, Mom,” he grins close lipped around a mouthful of food. Well, he’s having fun when Jeongguk is not very in his face with the reminder of their embarrassing past. “I’m excited for practice tomorrow.”

She hums and they’re silent once more. He opens his mouth to return the favor, to ask how it’s been going for her at work and with her friends, but she cuts him off before he can try.

“And how’s Bogum? I haven’t heard much of him from you recently.”

The sentence makes his heart squeeze uncomfortably, his mind immediately jumping to the thought of his text messages devoid of responses from his boyfriend. He just wishes his boyfriend would communicate a little better with him, maybe then he could relax from the situation going on.

“He’s good!” Taehyung grins, perhaps a bit too artificially. “He’s gotten really busy with soccer practice though.”

“Oh? You should invite him to dinner soon, it’s been awhile.”

Taehyung feels him shrink a little in tandem with his shriveling heart. He nods, chewing absentmindedly at the chopsticks in his mouth.

If by awhile, you mean weeks, sure, he thinks bitterly. It brings his train of thought to Bogum’s soccer practice, and he truly wonders how that’s going. If it really has his boyfriend as busy as he says he always is.

Unfortunately, it also reminds him of the little nugget of knowledge that apparently Jeon Jeongguk is also on the same exact soccer team and sharing the same exact practices as Taehyung’s boyfriend. He hates that he has the realization at the dinner table that for as much as he’s counting on not seeing Jeongguk too much, him being on the soccer team with Taehyung’s boyfriend poses the issue of Taehyung seeing more often than he thought.

“Hey, Mom?” He asks before he can stop himself. She hums, not looking up from where she’s spooning another helping of food onto her plate. “Do you, um... do you remember Jeongguk?”

Her eyes snap up to his, glittering with something that looks a little too knowing for Taehyung’s tastes. Maybe he’s just reading too much into everything.

“Of course, honey,” she eyes him for a moment. “Why do you ask?”

He bites at his lip, considering the pros and cons of answering this question truthfully. He’s already well and truly backed himself into a corner by even asking, because how could his mom forget Jeongguk? The boy was over for dinner and to hang out more than Taehyung’s oldest brother was just before he left for college.

“Um,” he responds, eloquent as ever. “He just moved back here.”

It appears as if she stops, gazing intently at him. “Oh?”

“Yeah,” he shifts uncomfortably, “he goes to my school now.”

She raises a brow, looking pleased and surprised all in one. “Have you spoken to him?”

The note the younger left for him on his locker weighs heavy in his mind, but he shakes his head. “Haven’t seen him around.”

Liar, liar, liar, the memory of those sparkling eyes jeer at him.

“That’s wonderful. You should invite him over for dinner, too. It would be nice to catch up.”

Taehyung can’t help but grimace at the thought. He really doesn’t want to sit next to his humiliating past personified, chatting over dinner with his mom. He really doesn’t want to deal with the guy at all.

But, as always, he smiles back tightly at her and nods. As if that’s something he wholeheartedly wants, as if her suggestion is so truly illuminating.

Seriously, when did his life become so pathetic?

—

The next school day passes by quickly and relatively uneventful, something he’s thankful for. Bogum still hasn’t texted him, a fact that’s starting to distress him more and more as the days go on. But cheer is becoming a good enough distraction, especially right now.

They’re out on the football field, stretching and waiting for their coach to give them directions against the humid sun beating down on them. Taehyung is glad he chose and was allowed to wear the cheer skirts rather than the men’s cheer sweatpants.

“God, Min Yoongi gets on my nerves.” Jimin says to him in between stretches.

Taehyung simply rolls his eyes, hand stretching towards his left foot

“He’s so annoying!” Jimin continues, oblivious to Taehyung’s apathy. “Who does he think he is?”

“What’d he do this time.” Taehyung asks, knowing that Jimin is just bursting at the seams to vent.

“Oh my god, I mean, what didn’t he do?”

“Minnie.”

“Just fucking... always making fun of me in front of everyone. Doesn’t this count as bullying? This counts as bullying, right? I could report him to Bullying Info.” Jimin practically seethes looking intensely at Taehyung.

Min Yoongi is the boy in Jimin’s Ethics class who seems to delight in teasing Jimin relentlessly. Taehyung can’t really find it in himself to blame him, Jimin gives the best reactions. He knows Yoongi definitely has a crush on Jimin too, and he knows that the boy is also on his boyfriend’s soccer team, but he doesn’t know much else about him.

“Oh, like you don’t do the same to him.” Taehyung laughs, knowing full well how sarcastic and vicious Jimin can get.

“It’s cute and endearing when I do it, Tae.” Jimin rolls his eyes at him before grumbling, “He’s the spawn of Satan, nothing he does is okay.”

“I think he’s just pulling on your pigtails, Min.” Taehyung teases, hinting at the mutual crush he knows they share. A couple of idiots, really.

“No, he’s an asshole.”

Taehyung opens his mouth to reply, to say it’s not like you’re any better, when another cheerleader approaches them. They stop regarding the way she stands, arms folded and features intrusive with interest. Taehyung is pretty sure her name is Yerim.

“Is it true?” Yerim asks, prompting Taehyung to raise a brow. “Did you and Jeongguk really used to date?”

Taehyung’s mouth drops open. What the fuck? What the fuck.

“Who told you that?” He says, his voice hushed and frantic.

She looks carefully at him, wary like he’s about to leap forward and strangle her. “Jeongguk.”

Jimin bursts out into cackles.

“Oh my god- in like, eighth grade! It wasn’t anything serious!” He cries out incredulously, flustered and caught off guard as he waves his hands around frantically in denial.

Yerim looks a little disappointed, most definitely at the lack of gossip, but just shrugs her shoulders and turns back to her group of friends onlooking from a short distance away.

Taehyung watches her leave, frozen in horror until Jimin’s bursts of laughter snap him out of it.

“Shut the fuck up.” Taehyung grumbles, shoving Jimin onto the grass of the field and letting him continue to laugh as if this one moment alone invented comedy.

Why do comedians even try, right?

“Oh my god,” Jimin wheezes. “I can’t believe he’s out telling people you guys used to date, that’s so chaotic.”

“How the fuck do you think I feel?” Taehyung bites back, resisting the urge to shove the boy back onto the grass from where he’s struggling back up from his laughter.

Taehyung feels a stranglehold of true anger and annoyance clench around his heart, clenching his jaw and narrowing his eyes. He might’ve been fond for past Jeongguk, the sweet little boy who wasn’t a fucking menace in his life, but he holds no love for this one. How dare this guy waltz back into his life out of nowhere, leave him notes, stir up buried memories and feelings, and then proceed to spread rumors?

“I hate him.” Taehyung decides, seething at the ground.

“Oh, Tae, you don’t hate him.”

“He’s spreading shit about me! What happens if this reaches Bogum?” Taehyung snaps.

Jimin seems to consider this, taking a moment to think. “You can always tell him to stop.” he says softly.

“I’m not gonna talk to him, that’d just be giving him what he wants.”

“Well, then, Taehyung. Don’t know what to tell you.” Jimin supplies completely unhelpfully.

Taehyung just buries his head in his palms and resists the urge to scream.

Fuck this Jeongguk guy and everything about him. From this point onwards Taehyung will have nothing to do with him and think nothing of him. Maybe he’ll even burn that box of notes under his bed.

—

“Taehyung, what’s this I hear about you dating Jeongguk?” Is the first thing Hoseok says to him at school the next day.

He’s calmed down considerably from yesterday, decided that he just needs to leave it be and continue on with his life and forget Jeongguk, but this makes another heat wave of anger blast through him.

“What?” He replies dangerously.

“As in... present tense?” Jimin says from beside him, eyes darting to Taehyung.

“That’s just what I’ve heard around.” Hoseok says slowly, very obviously reading the room.

Taehyung takes a moment to collect himself, closing his eyes and breathing in and out very carefully before opening his eyes once more to face Hoseok. “I’m not dating Jeongguk.”

“I think the rumors must have gotten out of hand overnight, Tae.” Jimin cuts in.

“That really doesn’t make me feel any better.” Taehyung says hopelessly, collapsing into his seat.

“Do you think Bogum’s heard about this?” Hoseok asks cautiously.

The question alone makes Taehyung feel even worse. He’d worked so hard to have a smooth and perfect senior year and he can feel it all crumbling beneath his feet.

Okay, maybe he’s being dramatic but still. It never feels good to have shit spread about you from someone deep within your past.

“Fucking probably,” Taehyung hisses. “God, i need to text him.”

“Or he needs to text you.” Jimin murmurs, ignoring Taehyung’s reproachful glare.

It continues on like that for the rest of the school day, his stomach a pit of existential dread as his peers continually spend the day looking at him and gossiping amongst themselves.

He learns that Jeongguk has gained a lot of popularity in a very short amount of time due to his looks and skills in sports, and that Taehyung is now the subject of ire from those who are interested in him. It’s simultaneously so ridiculous but so weird for Taehyung, because he still can’t really wrap his head around who his sweet Gukkie has become.

So apparently it’s only natural when one of the most popular students at the school is paired in rumors with the hot new kid. Taehyung feels sick.

It’s not really all that bad though, he finds.

Which is actually kind of a sad conclusion, if he’s being honest. It’s not all bad because, as it turns out, the newfound and rapidly spreading rumor finally gets Bogum to text him back. To text him first.

It’s late at night later that day, Taehyung sitting comfortably on his bed after just finishing up his homework for the day and texting Jimin about their cheer schedule, when a text comes in from his boyfriend.

Hey, it reads, lets skip lunch tomorrow and go get smth off site

Taehyung feels a little guilty for the way his heart squirms in excitement, as if he’s letting both Jimin and his morals down. He knows on some level he should confront Bogum on how flakey of a boyfriend he’s being, but on another level he’s still feeling school girl smitten with the guy.

He types back a quick ofc!!<3 before he can stop himself, before his senses can remind he shouldn’t be falling all over himself here, and reaches over to turn off his bedside lamplight for a hopefully peaceful sleep.

—

The rumors seem to have gotten even more out of hand by the time Thursday rolls around and he’s walking through the halls, to the point Taehyung is actually getting more stressed. He really hopes Bogum hasn’t put any faith in anything going around.

He’s glad the rumors haven’t reached the point where he’s being labeled as some kind of cheating whore, a potential outcome of the situation he’s most terrified of. Right now it just seems as if everyone is trying to figure out how he knows Jeongguk and who Jeongguk really is.

He scoffs at the fact that these people, people who never noticed or paid attention to the boy when they were in middle school, are now branding him as some kind of bad boy. Or at the very least some kind of hot mysterious boy.

But it’s fine. He’s gonna have lunch with his boyfriend in a few hours and he’ll explain everything and he’ll ignore Jeongguk’s existence as best he can and it’ll be fine.

Taehyung realizes how completely not fine it is when he spots a figure leaning comfortably against his locker from a distance. He stops, narrowing his eyes to pinpoint who it is. They’re too bulky to be Bogum, too tall to be Jimin, not slender enough to be Hoseok, and thus he concludes its definitely not anyone else he cares to talk to.

He notices other people sneaking glances at the figure, though, and that is enough to make his heart and stomach coil unpleasantly. Squaring his shoulders, he proceeds forwards towards his locker. He’ll just tell them to fuck off, he’s not in the mood for shit like this.

However, as he nears closer and closer to the figure he realizes seems to be waiting while looking at his phone, he notices that they look suspiciously like-

Jeongguk.

He experiences a multitude of emotions all at once, irritation, surprise, and that same sense of anger crawling it’s way back to the surface. He’s glowering at Jeongguk with his jaw tightened shut before he can notice Jeongguk looking up to him, prompted by his intense stare.

Jeongguk simply looks at him for a beat longer than Taehyung is comfortable with, straightening up against his locker and letting his hands fall to his sides.

It’s overwhelming to say the least, the boy's eyes on him. It’s so uncomfortably familiar, those eyes so wide and sparkly. Jeongguk is looking at him in a way that’s too close to how he used to look at him, and that realization is going to swallow him whole.

“Taehyung.” Jeongguk breathes out, a shy smile curling just barely at his lips. His eyes are large and watchful before softening into something so reminiscent of before.

And... Nope. No, Taehyung is not doing this.

“I’m not talking to you.” He says crossly, and turning the other direction to walk away from Jeongguk.

But Jeongguk is fast, catching up to him to hold him back by the wrist. When the hell did his grip get so strong? “Hey, hey, what’d I do?”

Taehyung rips his wrist away with a scowl. “Oh, I don’t know, told the whole school we were dating, maybe?”

“What? I didn’t do that.” Jeongguk insists, his brows knitted together.

Taehyung thinks of the way Yeri said she heard from Jeongguk that they used to date, that he has to be the origin of this stupid fucking issue.

“Then tell me why the entire fucking school was asking me if we were dating?”

Jeongguk looks off to the side for a moment, his gaze considering, before it snaps back to Taehyung with a tilt of his head. “Is this why you didn’t text me?”

Taehyung scoffs. “I didn’t text you because I don’t want anything to do with you. I have a boyfriend.”

Jeongguk’s tongue pokes at his cheek in a similar sign to frustration but Taehyung doesn’t care, brushing past Jeongguk once more to walk away.

“No, Tae, let me explain.” Jeongguk rushes forward to block his path, and... when did he get so fast?

“You have 5 minutes.” Taehyung replies crossly, folding his arms and leaning away.

“I... I was asking around about you-“

“And why the hell were you doing that?”

“Tae. Let me finish.”

Taehyung’s nostrils flare unhappily for a moment.

“I was asking this guy I thought was my friend about you, I didn’t think he would go tell everyone about it.”

He merely purses his lips in response, unimpressed and unwilling to buy it.

“Taehyung, I’m serious,” Jeongguk stresses, “I wouldn’t do that to you.”

It’s the tone of that voice that softens up his heart a little, that starts to make his anger and annoyance slowly wash away with every breath. Fuck, maybe he’s still just as weak as he was all those years ago.

Just great.

Taehyung eyes the ground unhappily, his mind racing. “What’d that guy tell you?”

“Just that... you’re pretty popular, head cheerleader, that stuff.”

Taehyung says nothing.

“I didn’t know you’d ever become a cheerleader, Tae.”

“Is that a problem?” Taehyung snaps, leftover irritation rearing it’s ugly head.

“No! No, um,” his eyes distractedly trail over Taehyung’s exposed legs almost against his will before snapping back up to Taehyung’s, a bright red flush blooming over his cheeks and ears. Cute. “You... you look good, Tae.”

He looks as if he regrets the words immediately, ready to jump out a window or something, so Taehyung huffs a soft laugh to diffuse the awkward tension. It only seems to make Jeongguk go more red.

“Thanks.”

“Can I walk you to class?” Jeongguk replies quickly, as if sensing Taehyung’s want to drop the conversation and leave.

The answer should be no, full stop. He’s truthfully not very ready to forgive Jeongguk and he doesn’t think the younger walking him to and from classes would really help the rumors that he needs to dispel.

Jimin will be meeting him soon for their daily morning gossip anyways.

“Um,” Taehyung looks around the hallway. “I don’t know.”

Jeongguk looks a little crestfallen at that, though there’s a determination hard in the lines of his face that make Taehyung’s heart beat a little faster despite himself.

“Just... we-we were friends once, right?”

He does have a point. And Jimin walks him to class too, and vice versa, so is there really an issue with it? It’s becoming harder to deny the more Jeongguk looks at him like that.

“I guess...”

“Let me walk you to class, as a friend. Please?” Jeongguk insists, almost nearly pouting.

Taehyung really would like to know where this boy found all this new confidence.

“Fine, lets go.” He finally says, pretending not to see Jeongguk’s giddy and accomplished smile.

He walks forward without checking to see if Jeongguk is following him, though stifles a smile when the boy races forward to stride next to him.

“You’re still friends with Jimin?” Jeongguk asks idly as the walk along the corridor.

“Unfortunately.”

Now that his anger and upset feelings have simmered somewhat, he’s experiencing those same pressing overwhelming feelings that he felt when Jeongguk first let his soft eyes roam over him. That niggling of attraction is still present too, damnit. He just needs to get to class as soon as possible, for this is becoming too much already.

“That’s cool. Is he just as insufferable and easy to tease?” Jeongguk presses, peering over at Taehyung who stays looking resolutely ahead.

Taehyung remembers then with, albeit slightly foggy, clarity the way Jeongguk used to delight in teasing Jimin the closer they got when they were younger.

“Worse now.” Taehyung huffs out a short laugh.

“Awesome.” He can practically hear Jeongguk’s grin.

They stay silent for the rest of the short walk, Taehyung ignoring all the quick looks from passerbys. God, this was a bad idea, wasn’t it? He’s just encouraging rumors right now.

What makes it worse is he can feel Jeongguk’s sidelong stare on him the entire time. The silence isn’t awkward, which is surprising to him, more comfortable and considering. He appreciates Jeongguk keeping distance and giving him the space to engage at his own pace, but he’s not really sure how much it helps. With the way his brain is uncomfortably shoving reminders into him of how attractive his little Jeonggukkie has become, and how sweet and sincere he still seems to be.

God.

He’s absolutely fucking relieved when they finally make their to his first period classroom, detaching himself with a swiftness that must surprise Jeongguk.

“Well, thanks for walking me to my class, Jeongguk!” He says, still refusing to look at the younger and happy to not wait for a reply.

“Taehyung,” Jeongguk calls, stopping Taehyung in his tracks. Taehyung turns around slowly to face him, mostly because of the pressing tone of his voice, to see Jeongguk frowning considering at him. “You know I’m gonna win you back, right?”

Taehyung feels his heart leap into his throat, mouth dry and cheeks steadily beginning to burn scarlet. “What?”

Jeongguk looks a little nervous himself now, face going pink. But his eyes seem to burn bright with a sureness and determination that Taehyung’s never seen before.

“Bogum’s got nothing on me.” He says factually, staring at Taehyung as if expecting him to deny it.

What the fuck is happening?

And, yeah, he should deny it right away. Should ask ‘what happened to just friends, huh?’, but his brain to mouth link is just not working.

“Um?” Is all he can find the voice to say, feeling fidgety and much less sure of himself.

Jeongguk brings a hand up to card his fingers harshly through his bangs, appearing frustrated and red. “Sorry, just- I’ll see you around, Tae.”

It sounds like a promise. Taehyung can’t bring himself to be mad about it, about any of it. He’s more mad that he isn’t angry and uncomfortable.

What the fuck?

—

“So why am I hearing about my boyfriend dating another guy?”

Taehyung refrains from rolling his eyes at the blunt question, though still feels his body crawl with embarrassed heat. He’d skipped lunch with his friend and walked to a nearby pizza place to meet Bogum, who was waiting for him with their food already ordered when he came in. Taehyung tried to remember if his boyfriend ordering food for him ever annoyed him in the past like it did then.

“It’s just a rumor, Bogum. I don’t even know how it happened.” Taehyung insists, waving it away and hoping they could move onto other topics.

But Bogum’s never been the type to let things drop so easily. “Do you know him or something?”

He debates lying and saying that he has no idea who Jeongguk is or how any of the rumors came to be, but realizes that really wouldn’t fly well if Bogum ever saw him and Jeongguk actually being friendly. If it ever came to that.

“No, not really. I mean, we- we dated in, like, eighth grade. But that was forever ago,” he can feel himself panic when Bogum’s eyes seem to darken unhappily. He reaches a hand across the table to grasp Bogum’s own, an attempt to lessen whatever emotion his previous words brought. “He really doesn’t mean anything to me anymore, it’s just a rumor. I have you now.”

The contact feels wrong and the smile he’s arranged on his lips feels fake and artificial. Has their relationship always felt this off?

Bogum smiles back at him, a stretching of the lips that makes Taehyung want to frown. “Good thing your taste in men has grown, then, right?”

Taehyung retracts his hand, taking a sip of his drink with an uncomfortable laugh. “What d’you mean?”

“Did you know the kid somehow got on the team?” Bogum says with an eye roll.

Yes.

“No! That’s so- um, weird.” God, Taehyung sounds so suspicious.

Bogum nods. “He’s shit, though. Really bad attitude. Depending on how he does in the next game, I’m thinking of talking to coach to get him off the team.”

Something about that rubs Taehyung the total wrong way. Maybe it’s because there’s a lingering sense of wanting to protect the younger still present within him, or maybe it’s the way Jeongguk looked at him so sweetly and spoke to him so kindly just that morning. But something about those words are wrong to Taehyung.

“Oh, really? He can’t be that bad.” Taehyung laughs once more, cringing at how pitchy it is.

Bogum’s eyes flash at him darkly, his features giving way to just how annoyed he must be by Jeongguk. “Aren’t you on my side here?”

“Of course, babe.” Taehyung insists despite himself.

His boyfriend smiles kindly at him, the kind of smile that Taehyung first fell for. He doesn’t know why he’s suddenly conflicted when his heart aches at it, doesn’t know why everything suddenly feels wrong and he wants nothing more than to leave Bogum’s presence.

“Well, I’m glad we could clear that up. I missed you.” Bogum looks at him like he adores him and for a second, Taehyung’s heart melts.

I’m sure you did, the logical parts of his brain whisper and suddenly he feels ice cold.

Now suppressing the urge to snap at the other in frustration at the hypocrisy, Taehyung just smiles. He’s never been able to handle confrontation with any of his boyfriends.

—

He manages to avoid Jimin and Hoseok the remainder of the day, up until cheer practice. He’s surprised to find that he’s also worried about coming across Jeongguk, who seemed so determined to befriend him that morning.

Whatever, it’s all just whatever. The short distance from his friends gives him time to think a little. Only, he doesn’t really know what he needs to think about, or even what the fuck is going on in his suddenly rapidly changing life.

Maybe he’s still being too dramatic, maybe he’s still overreacting.

By the time he’s entering the field for cheer practice, Taehyung can see Jimin already there with an expectant fire burning sharp in his eyes, Hoseok surprisingly present as well despite not being on the team. He remembers them that he didn’t really tell them where he’d be for lunch, and they must’ve thought the worst.

Oh, he winces.

“Hey-“

“How was lunch?” Jimin asks, arms folded and a single brow raised.

Hoseok elbows him. “Ignore him, he’s just being petty,” Hoseok rolls his eyes, turning to Taehyung. “Where were you, though?”

Taehyung drops his cheer bag to the ground with a thump, stretching out his arms. “Bogum and I skipped lunch.”

Immediately Jimin and Hoseok share a /look/, one that has Taehyung’s eyes narrowing.

“Well, Hoseok and I were just talking-“

Uh oh, there goes Jimin micromanaging everything he does again. And bringing Hoseok down with him into it now. Taehyung sends Hoseok a wary look.

“- And Taehyung,” Jimin continues, his tone thoughtful. “Don’t you think it’s a bit suspicious how Bogum wasn’t giving you the time of day for the longest time, but as soon as rumors start spreading of you with another guy he’s right back up your asshole?”

His eyes narrow further at the other’s blunt words. “What are you trying to imply here?”

“I’m just saying, don’t you think you should be more wary of him? I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Which is complete bullshit. Because Jimin pulls this shit every time Taehyung meets a guy, goes on the exact same spiel and Taehyung is tired of it.

“I don’t understand, Jimin. Can’t I just for once be in a happy relationship without you crawling up my ass about it constantly!”

“I’m just looking out for you, Taehyung!” Jimin insists, appearing affronted Taehyung could think otherwise.

“By constantly telling me all the guys I date think I’m not worth their time? That shit fucking hurts.”

“I don’t mean it like that-“

“I know what you mean!” He takes a deep breath, “I just... for once want to be worth something to someone. I want someone to like me for me. Bogum likes me, and I like that he’s giving me attention! Why can’t you just support me?”

“Because his attention doesn’t come from a good place!” Jimin snaps.

“How would you know? You hardly give him the time of day!” Taehyung retorts, voice just as heated.

“Listen, Taehyung,” Jimin starts slowly, as if he needs to spell this out for Taehyung to understand. “There is someone out there, probably several someones, who are perfect for you. Who will treat you like you deserve to be treated, Bogum’s just not one of them.”

The words feel like a slap to the face. It’s exhausting and humiliating to hear, especially in front of everyone he knows is silently listening in. He hates to hear this from his oldest and closest friend and he hates the fact that Jimin just can’t let him be at any interval of his life.

“I’m tired of waiting around to be worth someone’s while, Jimin. And I’m tired of you nagging me every time I’m with a guy, can’t you just let me be happy?” Taehyung finally says after a while, tone soft with simmering rage.

“Taehyung-“

And with that, Taehyung turns from the two boys sharply, snatching his bag off the ground and walking some ways away to do his stretches alone. He would be embarrassed in the way teenagers hate to be seen alone, but he’s mostly just angry. It’s all he can focus on as he stretches his limbs, refusing to look back at anyone.

He doesn’t exchange another word with them for the rest of the day.

—

By the time the next day rolls around, Taehyung is much more resigned than he is angry. He realizes he’s more angry at the situation than he has at Jimin, and maybe he should apologize. But that opens up a whole new argument in his head that leads to him just being too petty to even try to find the other boy.

He goes to eat lunch alone that day. He thinks of places to eat, and when the thought of sitting in the hallway or the bathroom makes him cringe with disgust, makes his way out onto the school's field and up to a small hill overlooking it. He plops down at the base of a large tree, the shade of it giving relief to the sunbeams glaring down upon his skin.

After a while of just staring at the field, the sounds of students doing conditioning echoing to him in bursts of laughter and conversation, he buries his head in between his folded up knees. He draws his arms up tight around himself, just needing a few moments to simply exist for a moment. Exist as just Taehyung, not Taehyung the head cheerleader who is in a petty argument with his best friend.

If maybe he wasn’t in that position, head stuck between his knees and senses dulled by his rapid thought of everything going wrong in his life, he’d have heard the footsteps coming up the grassy hill towards him. He’d have heard someone stop and would have felt their inquisitive gaze on him.

“Taehyung?”

It startles him out of his position, head snapping up to see Jeongguk looming over him. His broad figure blocks out the shining sun, eyes wide and brows pulled together with worry from where he looks at Taehyung.

“Um, hey.” Taehyung hastily pulls himself out of that position, his annoyance over the younger and all his life issues forgotten in favor of the embarrassment he feels being seen like that.

“Are you... okay?” Jeongguk asks slowly, walking a little closer.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Taehyung replies, flashing him a firm smile when Jeongguk’s peering gaze drags on. He attributes to the sudden pink flush upon the others cheeks to the heat of the outdoors.

Jeongguk’s lips twist a little, looking from the field to back at Taehyung before pointing at a patch of grass next to Taehyung. “Can I sit?”

Taehyung debates on saying no, knows that the question itself has his hackles rising and can feel himself straightening up uncomfortably already, but he also just doesn’t really have the energy to deny it right now. Whatever, right?

He nods once, pursing his lips and looking out at the field.

“What’re you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be eating lunch with Jimin and Hoseok right now?” Jeongguk stiffens immediately after from where he was idly plucking grass from the ground.

Taehyung realizes his mistake seconds after, turning a narrowed gaze to the other.

“Don’t ask me how I know that.” Jeongguk insists, eyes wide and face red from being caught.

With a partially amused scoff, Taehyung draws his knees back into himself and watches the field. “I could ask you the same thing.”

“I come here for lunch.”

Taehyung quirks a brow. “Something wrong with the lunchroom?”

“Well,” Jeongguk smiles lopsidedly at him, boyishly. Taehyung’s heart thumps. “Not like I have too many friends inviting me to eat with them there, do I?”

And that makes Taehyung kind of stop. Maybe he’d been too shallow in his analysis of who Jeongguk must be now, someone handsome and sporty and with a circle of adoring admirers and exuberant friends. His stomach sort of just turns at the thought, because Jeongguk had never really been like that, had he? Why did Taehyung think the boy he knew so well had changed so much?

“I’d assume you’d have people at your feet begging for a glance by now.” Taehyung murmurs, lips twisted in something close to shame for his thought process.

Jeongguk doesn’t seem to be annoyed, though, that same boyish grin widening with the crinkles around his eyes. “How unlike you to believe rumors.”

“Touché,” Taehyung can’t help but chuckle softly in return, eased by how simple conversation seems to flow between them. “Rumors always come from somewhere, though, don’t they?”

“You’d know, huh?”

Taehyung bumps his shoulder with him, rolling his eyes. It could be a statement that brings up irritation, but Jeongguk just has this way of saying things to Taehyung. He always has.

“I don’t know, I’ve never been the social type,” Jeongguk continues, looking at the ground. “It’s hard sometimes, especially when I’m sure most people are only wanting to be my friend because of how I look now.”

The sentence itself makes Taehyung feel stupid and brash, reminding him of just how quick he was to think that Jeongguk must have turned into a whole different person. An asshole, at that. There’s a certain delicacy in the younger’s movement, in his speech, a soft but bold certainty Taehyung remembers him having when they were younger. Jeongguk has grown, not changed.

“Well, I’d invite you to come sit with me and my friends at lunch, but I’m not exactly talking to Jimin right now, I guess.” Taehyung mutters, his brain immediately jumping back to their conflict with a sick spinning sensation in his stomach.

Jeongguk hums. “Why’s that?”

Taehyung shrugs, feeling an upset pout cross his lips. “He said some things I didn’t like. Things about my boyfriend.”

“Bogum?”

Taehyung looks at him and raises a surprised brow.

“Same soccer team? I’m sure you’ve heard by now.” Jeongguk explains.

“Oh. Yeah. Congrats on that by the way.” Which is said a little dumbly, but Taehyung still hasn’t quite wrapped his head around the fact that Jeongguk is now a hot guy who plays soccer.

“Thanks,” Jeongguk shrugs humbly, though it’s clear it’s not a conversation he’s paying much mind to. “So what’d Mr. Perfect do?”

“I get the feeling that was said sarcastically.”

“He’s your boyfriend for a reason, and not mine.” Jeongguk smirks at him.

Taehyung shakes his head, does everyone not like Bogum? Is he the blind one? “He didn’t do anything, well... I don’t know, I guess he did. He hasn’t really been giving me any attention, which I know sounds so whiny! But, like... he never texts me back, never reaches out to me, I’m constantly feeling like some- some kind of extra on the side for him to talk to when he feels like it. I think I’m just being stupid.”

“You’re not being stupid, Tae.” Jeongguk immediately jumps in, voice insisting.

“I don’t know...”

“You’re not. You deserve so much more than that, not to be treated like you just don’t matter when you /do/. Fuck that guy, seriously.”

“It’s not really a huge deal, like it’s okay, I guess.”

Jeongguk looks at him for a long moment, and then. “You shouldn’t brush your feelings aside like that, Tae.”

Taehyung stays silent, flattening his lips tightly. He shouldn’t but he is and he doesn’t know how to rectify it or even start to put himself first here, he still feels like perhaps everyone is overreacting.

“What’d Jimin say?” Jeongguk asks softly after Taehyung gives him no further response.

Taehyung’s brows furrow irritatedly. “Pointed out the fucking obvious, I guess.”

“Which is?”

“That I should be more wary of Bogum, less trusting... but- I don’t know, he’s my boyfriend? Shouldn’t I trust him? Aren’t relationships built on trust?”

Jeongguk’s lower lip is caught between his teeth. “Do you think he trusts you?”

“I don’t know, maybe I’d know if he texted me back.”

“I think this sounds like something you need to talk to him about.”

“Yeah,” he looks at Jeongguk. “Sorry for unloading on you, I know it might be weird.”

“Why would it be weird?”

“I- I don’t know, I guess because we-“

“Haven’t spoke in years?”

“Um. Yeah.”

Jeongguk’s lips twist, appearing as if lost in thinking of what to say next.

“I-“

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I never wanted to move away, you know. Never.”

“I know that.”

“I missed you a lot.”

Taehyung swallows, this is starting to become way too emotional way too fast.

Jeongguk lets out a soft sigh, a large hand coming up to fist at the back of his own head.

“I guess my point is, I know I’ve missed a lot, I know that. And I know we’re different people than we were... then, but I- I just... give me a chance to get to know you again? I really did miss you.”

“Okay, Guk.”

The smile he gets in return is dazzling, all pearly whites and crinkled eyes. He can practically feel the gleam of happiness clear in Jeongguk’s features. It’s gorgeous, and it makes his heart hurt in a way he’s keen to ignore.

Like everything, ignore, ignore, ignore.

Instead, they stare at each other for a prolonged moment until Taehyung can’t help it, bursting into short giggles. Jeongguk follows suit.

Their laughter soon dies down.

“I think I’m mostly just annoyed at Jimin for saying what I know, but don’t want to acknowledge, I guess.”

Jeongguk watches him, as if knowing he has more to say. And he does.

“Jimin’s always like this, always micromanaging my life and getting into my business. I know he just wants what’s best for me, but I wish he’d let me decide what’s best for me.”

There’s a hand on his knee, firm and large and masculine and undoubtedly Jeongguk. It’s just a hand for god's sake, so why is his heart suddenly stuck in his throat and his eyes wide as he turns to look Jeongguk in the eye.

“You just gotta talk it out with him. It’ll be okay, you guys love each other, don’t you?” There’s a soft knit between his brows, sincerity clear in his gaze.

Taehyung’s lips pout in thought for what must be the millionth time before it’s smoothed away by a teasing smile. “When’d you get so wise?”

Jeongguk’s eyes go round before a bashful laugh overtakes his features, shrugging demurely. “Had a lot of time to become wise, I guess.”

“Did you?” Taehyung’s stomach turns a little, though he doesn’t quite know yet why the statement upsets him.

“Yeah. Things were a little lonely for awhile.” Jeongguk says simply.

Taehyung resists the urge to blow out a heavy exhale, a bit of him saddened that while he was angsting over how best to improve his senior year and angry over all the interruptions in it, the boy beside him must have been struggling with far worse things. Homesickness, loneliness, adjusting to a new place, who knows what else.

Maybe Taehyung feels a little self centered and selfish right about now.

“You were lonely?” He’s almost impressed with how firm his voice manages to come out.

“A bit. I mean, I had friends but...” He looks at Taehyung shyly, then, his gaze soft and warm and meaningful. “It wasn’t the same.”

They weren’t you, is what Taehyung hears.

“But I think it’s okay,” Jeongguk squints out at the field before back to Taehyung, that pretty boyish grin in place. Taehyung’s heart jumps.
“Right?”

I have you now, right? is what Taehyung knows he means.

A grin as soft as the younger’s eyes spreads slowly across Taehyung’s lips despite himself. “Yeah. It’s okay.”

You have me, Taehyung thinks.

—

“Taehyung, fuck, I’m so sorry!” Jimin bursts out as soon as he sees Taehyung.

After a few more scarce back and forth words, he was able to convince Jeongguk to come back to the lunchroom with him. Jeongguk insisted it was best he made up with Jimin as soon as he could, and Taehyung insisted that he didn’t want Jeongguk to be sitting out there alone.

He didn’t want Jeongguk alone anymore.

Taehyung wraps a hasty hand around Jimin’s waist as the boy launches himself at him, wobbling a bit under the sudden weight on top of him.

“I shouldn’t be trying to control your life all the time, you can make your own choices and-“

“No, I overreacted. You were right in some ways, Jeonggukkie helped me realize that.” Taehyung says, sending a look to the younger boy.

Jimin stops, releasing Taehyung to look inquisitively at Jeongguk, eyes scanning him before they narrow to Taehyung and back. Jeongguk seems to shuffle uncomfortably under the attention, cheeks darkening and gaze nervous. It reminds Taehyung so suddenly of the boy he once knew, once dated that he almost wants to startle. Jeongguk has become firmer and more sure of himself, but he is still that sweet and kind boy that fidgets under too much attention.

(Taehyung’s baby.)

“Wow, someone grew up.” Jimin comments, an easy grin already finding its way onto his face. Jimin is a special kind, can always read the room to figure out what’s best to say to make everyone most comfortable.

“Yeah, taller than you now, huh?” Jeongguk grins back, darting swiftly out of the way when Jimin reaches to swipe at him.

“Still annoying.” Jimin mutters, reattaching himself to Taehyung’s side.

“Where’s Hoseok?” Taehyung asks, peering around their usual lunch table and seeing no sign of the other boy.

Jimin wiggles his fingers, an expression of pure mirthful delight on his features. “Mr. Choi wanted to speak to him about his missing assignments, so he’s probably getting chewed out right now.”

“Or lying through his teeth.” Taehyung rolls his eyes, sitting down next to Jimin when the other goes to sit back down.

Jeongguk still stands, fidgeting with his backpack straps and looking unsurely at them. At this point, Taehyung wonders why he’s being so shy, it’s just him and Jimin, right?

“Sit down, Gukkie.”

Jeongguk lips twists before he laughs, timidness smoothing out. “I just remembered I have an assignment I need to talk to my teacher about before the period ends, so I’ll catch you both later?”

Taehyung squints at the boy, for it’s obvious he’s just looking for an easy out. Okay, Taehyung will give him that out.

“Alright, Guk. I’ll text you?”

That bright, brilliant smile that Taehyung has slowly started to become more accustomed to spreads across Jeongguk’s face, blinding and soft and the perfect way to send Taehyung’s heart into immediate palpitations.

“Bye, Tae.” Jeongguk says warmly, inclining his head once before walking away through the throng of socializing students.

Taehyung doesn’t even realize he’s watching the boy leave before Jimin smacks him on the shoulder, effectively snapping him out of whatever the fuck just happened.

“Gukkie?” Jimin’s brows are raised incriminatingly, squinting at Taehyung like he’s just caught him red handed.

Taehyung’s heart stutters and he feels his face flare red. “What?” It’s said with no shortage of defensiveness.

“You’ve gotten very cozy with someone you said you ‘hated’ all of a sudden. What happened to Bogum?” Jimin’s brows raise further.

Taehyung’s mind flashes to the words they exchanged just yesterday morning against his will, to the walk to class, to the way Jeongguk said he was going win him back. He cringes inwardly, beats him if he’ll ever know what the fuck is going on.

“What about him?”

“I don’t know... what about him?” Jimin seems to think he has some precious information Taehyung isn’t privy to to laud over his head, gazing at him patronizingly.

It makes Taehyung sigh, realizing he has to talk about Jeongguk to get Jimin to stop coming to outlandish conclusions.

“We were good friends once, Jimin, and we’re just on friendly terms now,” Taehyung insists. “We’re just taking things slow, getting to know each other-“

“Sounds like dating to me.”

“-As friends.” Taehyung finishes firmly, glaring at the older.

It’s times like these he needs Hoseok here, to be the buffer between Taehyung and Jimin when one of them decides to draw odd conclusions and be positively aggravating to the other.

“Tae, babe, there is no way that boy wants to be your friend.”

Taehyung can only scoff. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Or maybe he does, and he just doesn’t want to know what Jimin’s talking about.

“Do you really not see the way he looks at you?” Jimin’s voice is softer now, searching.

Taehyung just bites his lips unsurely in response. A part of him knows because Jeongguk has changed so much yet so little. Some things have stayed constant, as he’s observed in their minimal contact, some things like-

“He still looks at you like you’re the center of the universe, Tae. Like he’s in fucking eighth grade all over again.” Jimin voices his thoughts, though with much less fondness than he.

Because Jeon Jeongguk still looks at Taehyung as if there could never be a more precious sight, as if the years had never passed, as if nothing had eroded at his care for Taehyung like so much did for Taehyung’s care for him.

“I know.”

“Be... be careful, Tae.”

“We’re just friends. Not even.” Taehyung quickly amends, forcing lightheartedness into his tone. He’s partially sick of everything being melodramatic, honestly.

Though it seems in some ways that Jeongguk has made his intentions clear, Taehyung would just like to not let everything become so urgent just for a little longer.

“Okay, Tae.” Jimin replies, looking not like it’s very okay at all.

—

The following days are filled with what should be an uncomfortable amount of Jeongguk. Past Taehyung would be uncomfortable, at least. Present Taehyung should be ashamed.

The younger has taken to walking him not just to all his classes, but also taking him to cheerleading practice and watching him. Though the cherry on top of it all has got to be Jeongguk’s insistence on walking him home, and his mom’s insistence on having Jeongguk over for dinner every odd night. It’s almost like they’re still in eighth grade, Jeongguk latched to his side no matter what and making himself at home with Taehyung’s house and family.

It’s so familiar it should be freaking him out. But... but he likes it, he likes it a lot. He didn’t even realize how much he missed it, how much he yearned for that easy and giving friendship with Jeongguk, until it was slapping him right back in the face once again. They’ve slipped right back into regular hang outs and being with each other at school more and more each passing day.

There are things that Jeongguk does that definitely must cross the platonic line Taehyung’s carefully drawn out for them, but he can’t help but think perhaps he’s just reading too much into it. Jeongguk holding the door open for him at every chance, touching him in any way he can, looking at him like he’s shitted out the cosmos into existence, can all be interpreted as platonic, right?

One thing is for sure, though, is that Taehyung knows he should feel wrong for how much he enjoys the attention. He enjoys Jeongguk doting on him, and he enjoys how much it feels like they never broke up and Jeongguk never moved away for those few dreaded years. Which is wrong.

What about Bogum? a voice that sounds annoyingly like Jimin hisses smugly in his mind every time Jeongguk and he share a moment he knows means something. Just... something.

Jeongguk may have no problem crossing the imaginary platonic line between them, but Taehyung does. He has to. He can’t allow himself to be thinking of anything but platonic intentions, not when he has a boyfriend.

But he just can’t stop thinking less about Bogum and more about Jeongguk. About how Jeongguk has treated him better than Bogum ever had, at how their communication since that shitty lunch date had been sparse at best.

The latest text was Bogum making sure Taehyung was going to come to his game that was due to occur in a matter of days, the first soccer game of their season. Normally, Taehyung would have been a screaming schoolgirl over it, but now he can only scoff. It’s becoming clearer and clearer that Bogum only views him as some sort of prize, as arm candy to parade around the school. Like Taehyung’s just some kind of object. Because Taehyung had been trying in vain to take Jeongguk’s mature advice and get in touch with the other to talk about the serious topic of their relationship and the direction it’s taking, which is contributing heavily to his ire with Bogum.

God, he really should stop comparing Bogum to Jeongguk. It’s not doing anyone any good.

But Jeongguk’s intentions start to become clearer and clearer with every passing day, and start to become so obvious that Taehyung simply can’t ignore it like he’s been so comfortable to before.

I’m gonna win you back, you know.

Taehyung snaps himself out of his reverie with an audible exhale, slamming his locker shut and shaking his head.

Technically he should already be on his way home by now, should be at home by now, but increased time around Jeongguk has made him weak to the younger’s whims. How could he ever say no to those pretty eyes? And so Wednesday after cheer practice finds him convinced by Jeongguk to wait by his lockers until he’s done with soccer practice to meet him.

Well, Jeongguk wanted Taehyung to wait for him at the soccer field but there was no way Taehyung was going to be caught by his boyfriend very obviously not being there for him.

God, this sounds dangerously close to cheating. Or really it’s just that Taehyung doesn’t want to see Bogum very much right now.

He doesn’t have to wait very much longer after that, confused and disgruntled thought process cut off by the feather light footsteps across dirty tile that Taehyung has come to recognize as Jeongguk’s. And, sure enough, as soon as Taehyung looks up he sees Jeongguk in all his glittering beauty come jogging towards him with a duffel bag slung over his shoulder. Strands of hair stick to his forehead and neck, the rest of it floofing around with the force of Jeongguk’s steps. He’s got that dazzling grin on his lips, round eyes sparkling and lips flushed from the heat.

Lovely, lovely, lovely.

Which is- totally okay for Taehyung to think, he’s allowed to have eyes. It’s merely a platonic observation, too, of course. He thinks Jimin is lovely —sometimes— so it’s really no different.

“Tae,” Jeongguk breathes out as he comes to a stop, his voice a soft sigh of adoration. Platonic adoration. “Missed you.”

Taehyung’s stomach clenches violently. “Quit the team and you can come home and play video games with me every day, then.”

“Quit cheerleading and we have a game plan on our hands.” Jeongguk quips back just as cheekily.

He slaps Jeongguk’s firm stomach, though sighs wistfully immediately after. “The dream life, really.”

Jeongguk giggles beside him, grabbing Taehyung’s own cheer duffle bag off his shoulder to swing onto his free one as they start walking through the halls. And that’s another new thing of Jeongguk’s, his insistence to lug around practically everything for Taehyung. It’s cute but also... disarming. Because he’s sure that’s something someone only does when they’re trying to woo someone, and Jeongguk-

God.

“Practice just as wonderful as always, then?” Taehyung asks, swinging his free hands around.

“Bogum is a raving lunatic, I swear.”

Taehyung chuckles, “Bogum?”

Taehyung knows by now that Bogum is really all bark and no bite, a little spineless and super flakey. He supposes Jeongguk doesn’t know that, though.

“Seriously. I think he has it out for me.” Jeongguk says with a straight face, but Taehyung knows it’s really only a joke. Kind of.

“So,” Taehyung draws out. “Wonderful as always?”

“Oh, yeah, Bogum yelling at me a million times and telling me how to do my damn job was so awesome.” The sarcasm in his voice is palpable.

Taehyung feels a twinge of embarrassment and upset at the way his boyfriend is treating Jeongguk. Truthfully, he feels a little caught. But equally as truthfully, he doesn’t know if it’s really right for him to feel caught. Jeongguk just came back into his life, it’s too soon to feel like you’re stuck in the middle of two important people, right?

But then again, Jeongguk had always been someone special to him. But Bogum was his boyfriend.

“Sorry about him.” Taehyung murmurs instead in way of apology, his eyes trained firmly in front of him.

He can feel Jeongguk look at him for a short moment, though. “Not your fault.”

There sounds like there’s more to that statement, something that sounds a little like hesitation. Resentment. Things that make Taehyung feel uncomfortable.

But what else is new, really?

“He’s not a bad guy...” Taehyung continues softly. He nearly cringes at the way it sounds as if he’s trying to convince himself of that than Jeongguk.

As expected, Jeongguk says nothing in reply. Though Taehyung wonders if it’s for lack of response or for not wanting to disagree with Taehyung, not wanting to hurt his feelings.

Releasing a puff of air, Taehyung fidgets with the straps of his backpack uncomfortably beside the other boy. Because something about this is uncomfortable. Whether it’s because Taehyung still has yet to wrap his stupid head around that his young ‘love’ is grown and hot and maybe possibly still into him and walking him home every fucking day, or if it’s because of the way Jeongguk is keeping more quiet than is usual. The way he’s biting hesitatingly at his lips.

His strides are confident but his motions are not, and why is that?

It’s a shame that the walk home is spent in that same tight silence, a soft but uncomfortable press at his chest, the whole way there. Because, and though you didn’t hear this from him, Taehyung finds hearing Jeongguk speak and speak and speak one of the highlights of his day. It’s right up there with his cuddles with Jimin.

He supposes he counts the way their hands brush together ever so slightly on each step a win. Even though he shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t.

Why is he so weak to this boy?

When they finally reach the start of Taehyung’s drive way, he turns to the younger with an awkward smile. He gives the boy a small wave, not really sure where the strength for words disappeared, and turns heel to descend to his porch steps. Taehyung expects Jeongguk to then make his own way to his house, as is per usual to their daily walks home.

However, this day was obviously not as per usual.

The sudden presence of a tight hand encircling his forearm is what alerts him to this, is what makes him stop and turn right back around.

“Um,” Jeongguk shuffles, ruffling the hair at the nape of his neck as the loveliest pink starts to splotch the apples of his cheeks. “I’ll walk you to your door?”

Taehyung totally ignores the way that makes his heart stutter.

“Okay.”

But he does applaud himself at how well he’s keeping it together, no fuck ups in sight. Not for Kim Taehyung, no way.

He nods to his door for Jeongguk to follow him, turning around again briskly without even checking to see if the other is following him. Hell yeah, that shows he’s totally not nervous or desperate.

But that charade is swept cleanly away when they finally reach Taehyung’s doorstep. Oh god, Jeongguk definitely wanted to walk him to the door for a reason. What’s the reason? What’s happening? Why is Jeongguk licking his lips and why is the pink on his cheeks beginning to burn crimson? Why are things always happening?

“Um. Hey, Tae.”

Despite his nerves, Taehyung feels that tense coil in his chest loosens to where this all feels a little bearable

“Hi.” He smiles.

He waits for Jeongguk to say something, but the boy just keeps staring at him. Okay, maybe this is getting a little uncomfortable now. His mom is gonna notice the two grown teenagers just chilling on her doorstep for no reason soon, too.

Taehyung’s eyes dart to the door uncomfortably and back to those bright and imploring eyes.

“I- um. Well, I was wondering. Just thinking-“ Jeongguk cuts himself off, clearing his throat and straightening up.

Taehyung can’t help but feel endeared at this, his smile softening up once more but those damned nerves of anticipation still shaking his limbs.

“Yeah?”

Jeongguk coughs once more before soldiering on ahead, his gaze determined but his voice uneven. “I was thinking you should come to my soccer game this Friday? First game of the season.”

Is Jeongguk asking him out on a date? It sounds like a date. He’s acting like it’s a date. But no way, who brings a first date to a soccer game.

But Taehyung’s stomach does somersaults despite himself, though he just laughs in a manner which could be taken as just the opposite of pleased. Jeongguk’s cheeks flare a brighter red. Oh, even his ears are crimson.

Taehyung is smitten.

“Ah, um?” He laughs awkwardly, unsure of what to say or do. “I mean, I already am? To support Bogum.”

Jeongguk’s brows seem to furrow unhappily, his shy gaze turning dark and the red of his cheeks going impossibly scarlet. It almost looks like it hurts.

“Right. Your boyfriend.” Jeongguk grits out.

And suddenly the air feels icy. Because, right, his boyfriend. Taehyung has a boyfriend. He shouldn’t be acting like a love sick teenager speaking to their crush

Taehyung shifts backwards. “Um... yeah.”

Jeongguk seems unable to look at him, eyes flicking to just about anywhere but at him. Taehyung can’t seem to rip his own gaze away from the way the younger’s fists clench and unclench, corded muscles tense and posture looking just about ready to bolt.

His form is teeming with embarrassment and curling with something darker and Taehyung shouldn’t be so smitten, but dammit, he is. He just is.

“Sorry, god, this was stupid of me.” Jeongguk finally continues, the words seeming forced past gritted teeth. “I’ll see you there, then.”

And before Taehyung can even try to get another word in, his wonder of a boy has booked it half way up the driveway.

Fuck.

“Jeongguk!” Taehyung calls out before another thought can convince him otherwise, that same feeling of pleasure making itself known when the boy turns right back around. “I’ll cheer for you.”

Taehyung doesn’t think he’s imagining the bright grin that stretches Jeongguk’s lips and the way his shoulders hunch shyly in on themselves. He sees Jeongguk wave a short and acknowledging hand before he’s up and out of Taehyung’s driveway and most certainly on his way back home.

It takes Taehyung all of two minutes to realize he’s swooning against his door and watching Jeongguk leave like a love sick puppy.

Okay, that’s embarrassing. He hopes Jeongguk didn’t see him.

It’s only a little later when he’s laying boneless in his bed once more that a familiar and biting thought crosses his mind.

Fuck. What am I doing?

—

“Do you think it means something?”

Taehyung rests his chin thoughtfully in the divot of his folded arms, having just recounted the previous days events to Jimin and Hoseok.

“Means he wants to eat your ass, maybe.” Jimin replies nonchalantly, peering down at his coursework as dutifully as Hoseok across from them.

“Jimin!”

“What?” Jimin side eyes him with a shrug. “I’m just spitballing here.”

“Oh my god.” Taehyung buries his face in his arms, causing Jimin to finally sigh and place his pencil down to give Taehyung a good look.

“Listen, babe, you’re the one asking me if I think whatever that Jeongguk kid does or says means something. Think about that.” Jimin says pointedly before turning back to the schoolwork in front of him.

And Taehyung can only... look at him. Okay, maybe Jimin has a point, because what the fuck is he doing?

“He has a point.” Hoseok murmurs, not even lifting his gaze from his own work.

... But he doesn’t need Hoseok to tell him that.

“Okay, literally no one asked you.”

“What, am I just the third wheel for the occasional comedic relief?” Hoseok huffs with a laugh, giving the two of them a scrutinizing look.

“No, that’s me.” Jimin cuts in.

“Ah! We know our parts.”

“Can you guys shut up?” Taehyung pleads with a groan. “I think I’m having a crisis.”

“What’s the crisis to have? Jeongguk wants to suck your dick and you want to suck his, big deal.” Jimin rolls his eyes.

“I- Jimin, I have a boyfriend? Hello?”

He only sees Jimin snicker at Hoseok, causing Taehyung to whip his narrowed gaze sharply to Hoseok.

“Were you just mouthing what I just said behind my back?”

“Me? No. Me? I’d never.” Hoseok replies, affronted.

“You guys are assholes.” Taehyung buries his chin sharply back to his folded arms.

“No, we’re just not gonna tell you what you’re supposed to be feeling or ‘guide you on your confusing life journey’. This isn’t a chick flick.” Jimin goes on, and Taehyung really doesn’t like the abrasiveness of his tone.

“Would it kill you to be, I don’t know, nicer about it?”

“I’m just telling you how it is. You like Jeongguk and Jeongguk likes you, the obstacles here is your boyfriend and your inability to realize your feelings.”

“I’m gonna shit on your food.”

“How about you ask me how my day was for a change.” Jimin pouts at him, though there’s some... truth in his words.

Ugh.

“Don’t bother, Tae. All he does is talk about Yoongi.” Hoseok interjects with a knowing smirk, one that’s contagious.

Jimin points an accusing and all the same warning pencil at Hoseok. “You. Shut the fuck up.”

And Taehyung can’t help but laugh at that, because of course Jimin is gonna take digs at him over Jeongguk while he’s still going on about the boy he claims to hate.

“Oh, you fucking hypocrite.”

“Ladies, ladies. You’re both boy crazy. Now shut the fuck up and make out, or something.” Hoseok waves his hand dismissively, though Taehyung can see the amused upturn of his lips.

Jimin rolls his eyes so hard it must hurt, a tight purse of his lips as he looks deadpan at Taehyung, though he ultimately leans over to give Taehyung a firm smooch on the cheek.

Taehyung can’t help but huff out a puff of a laugh, shoving him away. He knows Jimin’s not truly so peeved at him, but at the same time he knows he has to have been a little caught up in himself. And he has to have been a bit of a pain in the ass.

“I’m sorry for being such a bitch and only talking about myself all the time. I’ve just... Jeongguk has been a lot to handle. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore and everything feels so wrong.” Taehyung says slowly.

Jimin smiles softly at him, bumping a gentle foot against his ankle. “But so right.”

And just like that, things are fine.

“God.”

“That’s a little gay, though.” Jimin amends.

“Quite gay, really.” Hoseok continues, snorting at the way Taehyung goes to kick them both.

“Listen, though, Tae. The answer is right there in front of you, you only have a little way to go.” Jimin tells him earnestly, looking at Taehyung with a sort of honesty that makes his heart squeeze.

The answer is right there, and that’s just the problem isn’t it?

A little way his ass.

—

The days leading up to Friday, to the first soccer game of the season, are slow in a way that Taehyung thinks feels purposeful. If it’s because he knows there’s something to dread, or if he doesn’t even want the game to happen for whatever reason, he doesn’t know.

He does know that interactions with Jeongguk start to feel different. More meaningful. The younger becomes more awkward around him, more boyishly shy. He goes out of his way to be with Taehyung and do things for him so much that Taehyung is caught between sinking and flying.

It feels like fucking eighth grade all over again. It feels like he may as well as never left it.

So when Friday rolls around and he finds himself in the bleachers surrounded by rowdy teenagers, half of them yelling and half of them socializing amongst themselves, he knows he should have expected this.

Bogum had left him in the supposed ‘best spot’ with an uncomfortable kiss on the cheek, asking for him to cheer him on. Taehyung said he would, but his traitorous heart wished it was Jeongguk right in front of him instead of Bogum. Instead of his boyfriend.

He had seen Jeongguk attempt to come up to him before the game started, but Bogum had kept him from succeeding. It somehow left Taehyung a little upset and resentful. Just a little, let him at least have that.

And Taehyung isn’t really quite sure how soccer works at all, even with his boyfriend and now... friend on the team, but he’s pretty sure that based on the cries around them that their team isn’t doing too hot. Somehow they’re losing.

Which he doesn’t understand because... Jeongguk is on fire. He’s a menace on the field, swift and unrelenting and scoring their team nearly every single point. It’s hard for Taehyung to even tear his eyes away from the boy, and he can swear he sees Jeongguk’s head swiveling to his direction with every goal he makes. Taehyung cheers despite it all, and it’s easy to pretend he’s cheering for Bogum and not the boy carefully extracting his heart more and more every day.

It’s when things are getting increasingly more and more tense in the game that what Taehyung should’ve expected happening happens.

Both teams are just about even, and even Taehyung can tell that whoever makes this next goal will win. It feels kind of stupid to be so invested, but at the same time, he knows how upset Jeongguk will be if they lose. He remembers how dedicated the younger always was, a slight perfectionist who blamed himself too easily when things went awry.

And also, of course he wants Bogum to win. His boyfriend, yes.

Though it’s Jeongguk’s lithe body he watches practically dance across the field, weaving in and out like a magnificent streak of lightning with the ball between his feet. He never knew Jeongguk could be like this, such power and grace all in one.

He thinks his little Jeonggukkie would be proud of who he grows to be, confident enough to take charge of his strengths.

It’s this in mind that causes him to cup his hands around his mouth, lean forward slightly, and yell, “Jeon Jeongguk!”

It must have been impossible to hear against all the shouts and chatter in the school field, but he swears he still sees Jeongguk look in his direction almost immediately. It definitely doesn’t make his heart beat fast and hard against his ribcage.

He’s irrevocably invested in the way Jeongguk kicks the ball to another teammate, sprinting ahead to receive it right back. The boy runs and runs and runs until the ball speeds past the opposing team’s goalie into the net, echoed by the sound of a near deafening buzzer. The crowd around him erupts into immediate cheers, victorious and proud. Taehyung can’t take his eyes off Jeongguk, a glowing vision as he runs to meet his team.

It’s then that it!happens. Jeongguk looks straight up at Taehyung and, with a blinding grin, points straight at him. Before Taehyung can even respond in some way, Jeongguk is being tackled and shoved around with hugs and grateful grips.

For him. It was all for him.

Taehyung kind of feels like floating away, stuck staring at the laughing boy as his friends squirt their water bottles at him. Jeongguk doesn’t look at him again, but that’s okay, because Taehyung doesn’t think he could handle it if he did.

He wants to talk to Jeongguk, wants to wait for him to ask what that was about, wants to tell him how proud and happy he is.

But he has a boyfriend. One that is now kissing his cheek with such a lack of feeling he tries not to cringe, one that is now insisting on driving Taehyung back home.

Jimin’s words echo in his head for a moment, and Taehyung wonders when he’ll stop being such a coward.

—

Taehyung only gets contact from Jeongguk on Sunday, which is out of character. He thinks maybe the boy has just been busy. But that dark part of him thinks of how Jeongguk has never been too busy for him.

Regardless, it’s near dusk when Jeongguk texts him.

JK: hey, can i come over?

tae: yeah, moms out with a friend rn so house is empty

JK: ok, be there soon
❤️

Taehyung definitely does not bite back a school girl giggle at the heart at the end. Because it’s all totally platonic, just bros being bros.

The need to know why Jeongguk wants to come over so suddenly settles deep in Taehyung’s belly like a rock. It’s likely the younger just wants to hang out, but Taehyung’s intuition tells him otherwise. Jeongguk doesn’t speak to him for days and all of a sudden wants to hang out immediately? And after what he did at the soccer game on Friday?

Taehyung is probably being stupid.

Unfortunately he doesn’t get the time to further contemplate his stupidity before the doorbell is ringing shrilly through his home. Continuously.

“You can stop pressing it, you dick! I’m on my way!”

He doesn’t stop.

Taehyung wrings the door open with a deadpan glare. “You didn’t even give me time to clean up.”

Jeongguk grins boyishly at him, shrugging. “I’ve seen you at your worst, what does it matter?”

He glares after the boy as he shoves pasts him and strides down the hall like he owns the place. “I’m sure you’ll enjoy dining with our rats and cockroaches, then!”

“You know me so well!” Jeongguk yells back.

Taehyung pretends that he isn’t laughing and slams the door shut to follow right after him. He finds the other in his living room, fiddling with the TV box.

“Someone’s in a rush,” Taehyung comments, flopping onto the couch to watch him. “Didn’t even know we were watching a movie.”

“I didn’t mention it?”

“Nope.”

“Pretty sure I did.” Jeongguk deflects, not even turning around.

Taehyung laughs, but scooches forward on the couch. “I’ll get us some snacks, then, or something.”

“No!” Jeongguk whirls around, standing up suddenly and wiping his palms on his sweatpants. “Just stay here, I’ll handle everything.”

Taehyung can’t help but make a face, because... okay. He falls back, though not without making it known he is judging Jeongguk very hard.

“Are you okay? You’re acting kind of weird.”

“Am I?”

“Really weird.”

“Well, I mean. I’m invading your home, yeah? Should treat you nice.”

“It’s supposed to be the opposite actually,” Taehyung points out. “But I won’t complain.”

Jeongguk darts quickly into the kitchen, Taehyung squinting suspiciously after him. He hadn’t noticed it when he first opened the door, but Jeongguk had been acting odd this whole time. His mannerisms off and his moves unsure. It’s definitely not helping the little pit in Taehyung’s stomach, for there is surely a reason to it.

The anticipation is probably gonna kill him.

Jeongguk enters with a large bowl of popcorn, plopping it onto Taehyung’s lap before scooping up the remote.

Taehyung isn’t even looking at whatever the fuck Jeongguk decided to play, a brow furrowed at the boy. Because this is happening extremely fast for what feels like absolutely no reason. It’s slightly unsettling.

“Guk? Are you sure you’re good?”

Jeongguk stares at him, those eyes wide and bright and— fuck, what an open book. What a story on those features begging Taehyung to read them. Something is definitely going to happen.

“I’m okay, Tae. Just watch the movie.” Jeongguk smiles reassuringly at him, but those eyes sparkle with something just the opposite. Unsure.

Taehyung expects the movie to be something with a message in it, maybe an underlying meaning in the story that would clue Taehyung into what the fuck this is all about. However, when he turns to watch he can’t help but huff out a laugh.

“Really? Iron Man?”

“What?” Jeongguk replies. “It’s a good movie!”

“I swear, you’d marry him if you could.” Taehyung snarks, settling more comfortably into the couch.

Jeongguk doesn’t even reply. Okay, odd. Not even an agreement.

He finds it pretty much impossible to watch the movie, not with Jeongguk right there next to him. He peeks over at the boy whenever he can, which is really not okay and really weird but-

He needs to know what’s happening. The further Jeongguk gets engrossed in the movie the more he’s convinced he’s made it all up and is being stupid as always. But sometimes he catches Jeongguk fidget uneasily, and the way he routinely reaches over to stuff popcorn in his mouth is anything but nonchalant.

It gets to the point where Taehyung is just squinting watchfully at Jeongguk, and he’s quite sure he’s not being even close to slick about it.

It’s on what has to be his 83rd time to reach a handful of popcorn that he misses the bowl completely, scooping at a spot in the air and bringing his hand right back to his mouth.

It’s so fucking ridiculous that Taehyung makes a face, waiting for Jeongguk to make a joke about it or something. But he doesn’t, his face just bleeds a burning scarlet that lets Taehyung know he knows what he just did.

And Taehyung just can’t help it, he bursts out laughing. Probably very unattractively, what with the way his grin is open wide and his mouth is spilling cackles. He laughs so hard he can’t help but convulse, trying to tame the ache it gives his stomach to the point where the popcorn goes flying from his lap

The surprised and doe eyed look Jeongguk looks at him with stretches into a pleased grin on Jeongguk’s lips which grow and grow until he’s letting out his own vibrant chuckles at the accident, though immediately bending down to help pick it up.

“So clumsy, Tae, really.” Jeongguk huffs.

“Oh my god, this is your fault!” Taehyung forces our between cackles.

“My fault?“

“Yes, your fault. Take responsibility.” He leans over to slap lightly at Jeongguk’s shoulder before giggling down to help the younger pick his popcorn off the floor.

He doesn’t realize their close proximity as they pick up the kernels of popcorn until it’s too late, faces close and almost breathing the same air. Jeongguk’s amused smile slowly starts to drop, the warmth in his eyes as he stares at Taehyung practically dancing across the older’s skin.

“You’re beautiful, you know?”

Taehyung feels his eyes widen, a pleasant burn settling across his cheeks the longer they stare at each other. He can’t say anything, feels all words trapped in his throat and all thoughts fly from his brain. He swallows once.

Taehyung doesn’t understand what the fuck is happening or why this has suddenly become so intense until Jeongguk’s gaze flickers from his eyes to his lips and back, until he starts leaning closer and closer, until those big beautiful eyes start fluttering shut. Those big beautiful eyes whose warmth is beginning to look a little something like—

“Jeongguk, I can’t.” Taehyung pushes the younger back gently.

An upset frown knits it’s way to his brows, his jaw clenching. “Taehyung. Bogum or me?”

Taehyung feels his lips fall open with shock. He almost wants to laugh, for he can’t even begin to comprehend that question. He can’t believe he was asked that question.

“Jeongguk... I- I can’t.” Is what he says instead, voice closed off as he puts more and more space between the two of them.

“Why?” Jeongguk whispers softly, pleadingly, attempting to bridge their gap. “You feel it too, don’t you? Our connection? I never stopped liking you, Tae.”

It’s too much and it’s all at once and Taehyung is speechless. It’s a confirmation of things he already knew deep down but never wanted to realize, or never wanted to deal with. He’s not ready for this moment, and he’s not even ready to reject his best friend and first love. He’s caught.

“Cool,” Jeongguk snorts weakly in the silence of it, moving back just as swift as he came forward. His tone is colored with such hurt that Taehyung feels his heart squeeze tighter and tighter. “So it was all me, then? I was the only one who felt anything?”

Taehyung lips his licks, staring at the floor like a coward. “I have a boyfriend, Jeongguk.”

“A boyfriend who makes you feel terrible about yourself! How can you stay with him?”

“Don’t do this, Guk.” Taehyung pleads.

Don’t leave me again. I can’t lose you again.

Jeongguk just laughs detachedly, but it’s anything but funny. Jeongguk is hurting. “Fine. I’m going home, sorry for wasting your time.”

Taehyung whips his head around to see Jeongguk standing. This isn’t how this was supposed to happen, this shouldn’t be happening. He wants to cry and he wants to scream and his heart is yelling at him to say and do everything he really wants but—

Taehyung is a coward.

“Jeongguk-“

But the younger stalwartly ignores his pleas to stay, gathering up his things at what seems like lightning speed and disappearing out the front door with a slam that seems to shake the whole house.

“Jeongguk!” He cries out, a last ditch attempt to get his favorite boy to come back to him. This can’t be how it happens, how any of it ends.

As the sound of a movie that’s empty without Jeongguk plays, Taehyung thinks he might feel a bit of his heart actually crack.

—

Taehyung doesn’t know what the hell he expected to happen next.

But in truth, he doesn’t know what the hell hes expecting at all. He supposes life goes on, he continues to talk to his friends, to go to cheer practice, to be the best he can in his classes. To date Bogum. He supposes life goes as it always has been.

But the problem is that it’s awful. The week goes on and Jeongguk won’t even look at him, if he’s even fortunate to catch a glimpse of the boy. It’s obvious Taehyung is being avoided, and it’s equally obvious that it breaks his heart. He misses Jeongguk, his steady presence and even gaze. The way his eyes crinkled when he laughed, the way they could bounce jokes so easily off each other. He wants Jeongguk back.

Taehyung just wishes Jeongguk had never confessed.

Or maybe, he wishes Jeongguk had never moved back at all. No matter how awful a thought it is.

The motion stands, though, that Taehyung is moping and it’s awkward for everyone. Hell, it’s awkward for himself, but he can’t help it. What he needs is to bang his head against the wall because all of this is so backwards and wrong and he’s so lost.

He’s so terribly lost.

But Taehyung is a coward, and Taehyung would rather sink into the confines of familiarity than risk the unknown. He’s not strong or brave like his Jeongguk, he just can’t be.

It sucks though, and even if he forces himself to resign to a life before Jeongguk, it doesn’t mean he can’t feel sorry for himself.

“You’re feeling too sorry for yourself, Tae.”

Surprisingly, it’s Hoseok’s cutting words and Jimin’s sharp and reprimanding look. The reversal of roles between the friends isn’t very shocking, with how much Jimin has taken to reading his moods and taking care of him these days.

They’re standing at the top of Taehyung’s driveway, the two of them taking to walking home with him now that Jeongguk isn’t there to do it. He doesn’t blame the words leaving his friends lips, albeit as cutting as they are, they had been trying in vain to get Taehyung to make conversation for the whole walk there. To no avail, of course, for all he could muster were mopey responses and Neanderthal grunts.

He may not have actually been heartbroken, but he sure is acting like it. Hell, he’d be going crazy too.

“Who cares?” Is all Taehyung can say, though, twisting his lips uncomfortably and shrugging his shoulders.

It’s a brazen response to a brazen question, but one that makes Hoseok and Jimin simply stare at him. There’s an uncomfortable, helpless, sort of pity that grapples at their features, and it’s so clear they don’t know what to say or how to help him. Taehyung almost wants to laugh at how absolutely dramatic he’s being, but sue him.

His boyfriend is still a douchebag ghosting him at every interval, his former best friend and someone he may harbor undefined feelings for hates him, and his grades still aren’t as steady as they need to be. It’s a lot for a high schooler, okay? He’s fucking lost as hell.

So, he does what a coward does. Escapes.

“Thanks for walking me home guys,” he mutters, already starting to turn around, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

It doesn’t help that he can feel their worried gazes burn into his back as he goes.

—

It doesn’t get better.

Which, sure, he’s being impatient. But he just can’t take it anymore, the silence, the awkwardness every time Jeongguk meets his gaze, how tilted his world is, how much he hates the few times he sees and talks to Bogum. He can’t do it anymore.

But he does anyways, and he does so with absolutely no grace. His friends are sick of him, he’s sick of him- his mom is probably sick of him, too.

It all sucks and he’s pretty sure it’s quite definitely the end of the world.

Taehyung’s point is proven when he wakes up Saturday morning and he feels like shit from his head to his toes. Of course he can’t even get peace on the weekend, nearly a week after... The Incident.

Taehyung shudders at the memory, sitting up slowly and running a fatigued hand through his messy hair with a drawn out yawn. He’s quite content to just sit here, or maybe sleep in a few more hours when his ears start to pick up on hushed voices from downstairs.

He thinks maybe it’s Jimin and Hoseok coming to bother him—make sure he’s not being a whiny bitch still—but the voices he hears are... different than those of his friends. Familiar.

With a frown, he carefully removes the comforter off him and slides from his bed. His footsteps are maybe unnecessarily careful for what he’s sure is probably nothing, but his mom is supposed to be at work— he has no idea who would be at his home on a Saturday morning besides his friends.

It’s when he’s half way down the frustratingly creaky steps that he truly realizes he has nothing to worry about, when the identities of the voices actually register.

“Hyungs?” He calls out, head peeking around the corner into the kitchen.

There at the dining table sits his two older brothers, Seokjin and Namjoon, smiling broadly right at him.

“Uh... what’re you doing here?” Is his first question, taking careful steps toward them and reaching up a hand to further muss at his bed head.

“Wow, not even a hey, hyungs? Not even a wow, I'm so blessed and grateful you both took the time out of your busy class schedule to come see me? Youth.” Seokjin scoffs with a huff, though there’s a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Taehyung relaxes all at once, a grin overtaking his face as he rolls his eyes. He steps forward with his arms outstretched, shaking his head.
“Campus is not that far away.”

“You’re so ungrateful.” Seokjin sniffs, though he wraps his arms firmly around Taehyung regardless.

“What’s the occasion, though?” Taehyung repeats after a long hug from Namjoon, the man smiling down at him.

They all step back from each other, Seokjin and Namjoon making brief eye contact before they sit back down at the table, Taehyung falling suit uneasily.

“Mom told us you’ve been looking a little... down.” Namjoon says gently, the words like a hot brand at Taehyung’s neck.

He knew he wasn’t being exactly subtle, but for his mom to call his brothers for an impromptu visit is a little embarrassing. He hasn’t been that bad, right?

Taehyung cringes, pajama pants easing the glide to slump in the wooden chair. “Uh... no?”

Seokjin and Namjoon look at him.

“Okay, maybe a little.” He concedes.

“What’s up, Tae?” Seokjin starts, and the question alone makes Taehyung feel very small.

Because it’s so stupid. He’s being so over dramatic and he doesn’t even know how this has gotten to this point, where he needs his two older brothers with so much more on their plate than he to hold his hand.

“It’s stupid.” Taehyung resists, trying not to slump further down like a petulant child.

The two brothers, always seeming to think alike when it comes to him, make eye contact once again.

“Taehyung, it’s not stupid. We want to help you out here, we understand.” Namjoon continues, his voice warm and kind.

Maybe it’s because it’s been awhile since he’s seen his two older brothers, or maybe it’s because he’s been so genuinely stressed with absolutely everything and just needs someone to comfortably vent to without feeling like a burden, but he crumbles.

It’s with his gut churning and his skin heated that he finally spits it out, though with great embarrassment. “You guys remember Jeon Jeongguk?”

“Jeon... Jeongguk?” Namjoon repeats unsurely.

Seokjin looks at him confused until he seems to recollect it all at once, snapping his posture straight. “The boy you cried over for days?”

“What- I... No!”

“When he moved away? And you were inconsolable?” Seokjin continues.

“I-“

“Wait, the boy whose love notes you still keep under that box he made you under your bed?” Namjoon says excitedly, as if he just cracked the code.

Taehyung is at a fucking loss.

“Wait, I- How do you know about that?!”

“It’s not like you kept in the perfect hiding spot, Tae, be real.” Seokjin says with a snort.

Now Taehyung really wishes he hadn’t said anything, cheeks crimson and lips pouted.

“But hey, is it really him again?” Namjoon tries to insist after he clears his throat.

“I mean... I guess.” He replies, not quite liking the tone of this conversation.

His discomfort and embarrassment must be obvious with the way Namjoon’s face slips comfortably into one of reassurance, forging onward to make sure he’s okay.

“Hey, we didn’t mean to laugh at you, or anything. I promise you we just wanna be here for you.”

Taehyung bites his lip as if to keep the stream of words back once again, but the imploring looks on his brother’s faces has him continuing on anyway.

“He moved back and... I don’t know, everything’s just become so complicated and it’s so stupid.”

He tells them everything after that, as if that single sentence blockage is all he needed to let loose. He starts from the beginning, from the note to the looks to the conversations, he talks about getting to know the only boy who ever really knew him again, he talks about how he’s never felt so happy before. Even with everything going on, even with his stupid boyfriend, Jeongguk made him so happy.

He definitely doesn’t cry.

“That Jeongguk... bleh, I never liked him.” Is the first thing Seokjin says when Taehyung is finished.

“Hyung,” Namjoon squints at him. “You were always the one who invited him to dinner every night when he still lived here.”

Taehyung laughs at the way Seokjin appears as if his feathers have been rustled, and definitely not subtly wiping his nose.

He didn’t cry.

“Your point?”

Namjoon rolls his eyes before turning back to Taehyung. Taehyung is amazed at how quickly he’s able to change expressions and tones, the elder staring at Taehyung with genuine care and knowledge versus the irritated look he faced Seokjin with.

“Tae... I think the answer is obvious, isn’t?”

And Taehyung can’t help but heave an annoyed sigh, for Jimin had told him the same thing and it really hasn’t been as enlightening as they think it is.

“Apparently not!” He bursts out. “Jimin said the same thing and look where that fucking got me, lost and confused and missing Jeongguk. What the hell am I supposed to do now?”

Because he doesn’t want some other hypothetical answer, or even what could have been, he’s thought plenty of all that. What he wants is a solution to the giant glaring problem right fucking now.

“You said Jeongguk made you happier than anything else, than your issues, than... Bogum. He made you happy in spite of all that shit. So isn’t it obvious? What you need to do?”

And then it kind of hits all at once. He doesn’t need it all, not like the way he’s been clinging to everything. He’s been so desperate to keep his life steady and normal and just have it all that he hasn’t even realized he doesn’t need it all. He needs what makes him happy.

He needs to let some things go, but Jeongguk’s not one of them.

Taehyung blinks at him before looking down at the table with gritting teeth. He jumps a little when he feels a soft hand on his own, not even realizing he had been tapping his fingers rapidly against the wood of the table as he thought, looking up to see Seokjin smiling at him.

“I’ll make some food? Like old times?”

The familiarity and nostalgia of that sentence sinks itself into his stomach, curling his lips up and relaxing out the tension.

“That sounds good, hyung.” He fixes a grin onto his face, but this one comes easy.

This comfort comes easy.

It’s... good to see his brothers, because though the talk had been so refreshingly simple it had been what he needed. The two he grew up with being abundantly there for him.

He still needs to think it through, he needs to sleep on it, but for now he’ll enjoy the short visit his brothers have paid him. Even if the circumstance is shitty and embarrassing, the time to be with them is a blessing.

There’s the whole weekend left for him to think it all through, anyways.

—

Taehyung needs to let some things go.

It’s the only thing on his mind as he walks into school with a purpose. He knows he looks like a bad bitch, having picked himself off his sad rock of a life into the confident person he was.

Because he needs to be himself and he needs to be happy, and there are things he needs to let go of to attain that happiness he realized he wasn’t giving himself.

The first thing he needs to let go of is Bogum.

It would be really horrible to say you were excited to break up with your boyfriend, wouldn’t it? Well, maybe excited is a bit of a stretch. He’s actually more dreading it, but the need to get it all over with outweighs anything else.

He has to dump Bogum before he sees Jeongguk and he needs to see Jeongguk. It’s practically all he can think about for the whole day, avoiding his friends because he’s embarrassed about... everything, and focusing on getting to his class rather than hanging back.

Taehyung knows he’s tunnel visioning this hard but he just... he needs to speak to Jeongguk, he needs to see Jeongguk, he needs Jeongguk.

He needs to stop being a coward and he needs to fix this.

Bogum is easier to find than he thought he would be, seemingly the easiest part of this whole train of fuck.

For a moment he wonders if Bogum’s truly been so unreachable this whole time, or if Taehyung just hadn’t been willing and committed to reach. Maybe it was a two way street. He shakes himself out of it though, for there’s no longer any reason to dwell on it.

It’s at the end of the school day, with students clearing out of the building that he finds Bogum at his locker. Man, Taehyung really could’ve fucking sworn this guy was harder to catch.

“Oh,” Bogum looks up at him as he approaches, a bit of a smile at the left corner of his lips as he adjusts the bag hanging free from his shoulder. “What’s up, Tae?”

“We need to talk.”

Bogum stops at the words, eyes roaming over Taehyung guarded form and intense gaze. With a scoff, he slams his locker shut and leans against it with folded arms. “You’re breaking up with me, aren’t you.”

It’s said like a statement rather than a question, and with considerable effort, Taehyung nods.

“Because of that Jeon kid? Really?” Bogum laughs derisively.

Taehyung stands straighter, cheeks heating at apparently how fucking transparent he’s been. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“The kids a joke, Tae. Come on.”

Something within Taehyung snaps. Days upon weeks upon months of a tense relationship just floods over.

“Oh, shut up, Bogum.” Taehyung laughs. “You don’t know anything about him. You’re jealous he’s better at you than soccer and you’re jealous I think he’s better than you.”

It’s obviously the wrong thing to say but Taehyung is mad now. How can someone so insignificant be such a dick to his Jeonggukkie?

Bogum sizes him up with a scoff, as if considering if it was worth it to throw a punch at the words. “And just who do you think you’re talking to?”

Taehyung shakes his head, the tension in his form seeping out the more he realizes he doesn’t fucking care. “I’m done with this. You’ve barely put any effort into this relationship, you’ve always made me feel like a second choice or just some sort of prize to parade around. I’m so sick of it.”

Taehyung has better things to worry about, things that make him happy. Things like Jeongguk.

“Don’t talk to me again. And do me a favor and leave my name out of your mouth, we’re through.” Taehyung says as soon as it looks like Bogum is about to respond.

It’s cliche but damn liberating, he thinks as he turns on his heel and immediately makes his way to find his next target.

Jeongguk had made himself incredibly elusive the past few weeks, as if he had known he had to be sneaky to avoid Taehyung’s watchful gaze. It’s understandable but it’s making it hard for Taehyung to well... find him.

He supposes that’s the whole point.

So he goes to the next best option. Which is making his way onto the field in hopes of catching one of Jeongguk’s fellow soccer teammates and demanding to know where the younger is. Someone who's not, you know, Bogum. It’s totally foolproof.

But Taehyung is beginning to think it’s not actually all that foolproof when he’s halfway on the field and there’s not a single person in sight. He knows this isn’t a regular practice day, but he was sure at least some people still came out to stretch or practice or something.

God if this is all for nothing and he actually doesn’t get to talk to Jeongguk today after hyping himself up so fucking much, he might really lose it and-

There’s a bang interrupts Taehyung from his panic, and he looks over to see-

“Yoongi?” He calls out, confused to see the boy strolling out from the locker room in comfortable clothes and a soccer bag at his shoulder.

Yoongi stops and looks at him for a second, nodding his head once before continuing onwards. But Taehyung is not done.

This is his chance.

“I didn’t know you were on the soccer team!”

He cringes immediately. Now that is definitely not rude and weird as hell, nice job.

Yoongi stops and looks at him, his face blatantly showing what Taehyung is thinking. “Ah... I’m... the goalie? I don’t know what to tell you.”

Taehyung doesn’t wanna tell the other that most of those games he’s either on his phone or admiring Jeongguk’s wonderfully sculpted legs, so he just nods with a grimace.

They stare at each other for another long, tensely uncomfortable moment until Yoongi decides enough and enough, turning back around.

“Oh, Yoongi!” He calls back. Because Taehyung is a man on a mission now.

The boy stares at him.

“Um... where can I find Jeongguk?” He smiles in what he hopes is cute and charming.

Yoongi lets out a short and amused laugh before shaking his head resolutely. “Not telling you, Tae. Sorry.” He goes look at least marginally apologetic, thumbing the straps of his soccer bag and preparing to leave.

“Wait!” Taehyung is desperate. “I’ll... listen, I’ll give you Jimin’s number if you tell me.”

This makes Yoongi stop, interested. Taehyung suppresses his grin. He sees the blush.

But Yoongi doesn’t look quite convinced yet, still unwilling and still looking like Taehyung is just wasting his time, so Taehyung ups the ante.

“I’ll give you his number... and- and I’ll put in a good word for you with him!”

Now this... this Yoongi considers, gaze narrowed and lips pouted considering. “Promise?”

Jimin is such a damn liar:

“Absolutely!” Taehyung grins.

“He’s in the locker rooms.”

Well, fuck. Taehyung didn’t even need to use his friend as a bargaining chip, he could’ve figured that one out on his own.

“Taehyung!”

Taehyung turns back only to see Yoongi shifting and combing his fingers through his hair embarrassedly.

“Don’t make me seem like a creep!” Yoongi yells nervously.

From a distance, Taehyung can see the earnest flush on his cheeks. He grins brightly and flashes a thumbs up in response.

As soon as he slips into the locker room, he can immediately spot Jeongguk laying on his back on one of the benches. Well, this really was a lot easier than he thought it would be.

He’s taken aback for a moment by just how absolutely upsettingly gorgeous Jeongguk is. His features so defined and eyes so large, so delightfully beautiful gaze upon. Like a work of art come to life.

“Let me guess, Yoongi sold me out for Jimin’s number.” Jeongguk mutters before a word has even left Taehyung’s lips, the boy not even checking to see who it is.

“And me putting in a good word for him, give him some credit,” Jeongguk only scoffs. “It’s not like you were in the most well hidden position, anyways.”

“Suppose you have a point.”

Jeongguk says nothing else and Taehyung shifts uncomfortably, unsure if he should come closer or not. Are there boundaries right now? There probably are.

It seems Jeongguk takes pity on him with a sigh before Taehyung can internally stress any further.

“What do you want, Tae?”

“I- um... I broke up with Bogum.”

He winces, knowing that can’t be the most eloquent way to start absolutely anything. But it catches Jeongguk’s attention, his eyes flicking right to him. Taehyung is caught by the absolutely all seeing emotion in those large eyes right then and there.

He expects Jeongguk to maybe say something now but he doesn’t and it’s making Taehyung even more nervous.

“I broke up with Bogum and I want to talk and I- I’m really sorry. For being a stupid coward.” Taehyung rushes out.

Jeongguk looks at him, that fire burning large and defiant before it all just seems to go out at once. The younger sits up, gesturing for Taehyung to sit next to him. “Come here.”

Taehyung jumps to the spot, dropping his own shit on the floor with a clatter and eagerly tucking himself pitifully beside the boy.

“I’m sorry I’m such a coward.” Taehyung mumbles as soon as he’s comfortable.

“You’re not a coward. Stop apologizing.”

“... Sorry.”

“You didn’t even really... I was being unfair, Tae, you were right.” Jeongguk sounds so frustrated, so unsure how to get the words right.

And Taehyung understands. He does.

“Why were you avoiding me?”

“Because I was hurt and embarrassed and I was... I was being stupid. Expecting all that from you, as if you were just gonna adjust to all my stupid needs.” Jeongguk replies earnestly, his tone so truly bothered by his own actions.

“You’re not stupid.” Taehyung admonishes.

Jeongguk laughs, the noise shaking Taehyung a little from where he’s starting to lean against the younger. “I was being fucking stupid.”

“No, I... Bogum hadn’t made me happy in a long time, you were right. Nothing made me happy, except-“

Taehyung cuts himself off forcefully, face flaring with red heat and biting his lip firmly.

Jeongguk wraps an uneasy arm around Taehyung, as if he knows what he wants but is unsure if it’s okay to want it. “Except?”

“Except you.” Taehyung frowns, pulling Jeongguk to him closer, closer, closer. “Everything came second, and everything always has since the moment I met you. I was being a coward and I was scared, but- but I want you and I’m not scared anymore. I want you, Jeongguk.”

The room is heavy with his confession, and Taehyung has the worst thought to think of how awkward it would be if someone was in here the whole time.

It seems like Jeongguk is absorbing it all, minutes stacking upon minutes, and Taehyung would think that he’s being rejected if it weren’t for the arm tightening reassuringly around him.

“I like you so much.” Jeongguk breaks the silence, the words whooshing out of him.

Taehyung laughs. “I like you too.”

“I think I actually love you a little.”

Taehyung laughs a little harder. “I want you to meet my mom as my official boyfriend before anything happens.”

Jeongguk chuckles a little sheepishly, quiet before, “Wouldn’t that be... awkward?”

“Why?”

“Because... Bogum?”

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “I don’t think anyone actually liked him. I think they were all being nice to him for my benefit.”

They sit in silence again, just breathing each other in and fuck, this must be too good to be true.

“Can I take you out on a date?”

This must be too good to be true.

“You can take me out on all the dates you want, I’m yours.” Taehyung leans up daringly to kiss Jeongguk’s cheek, as if cementing the sentiment.

It makes Jeongguk gather Taehyung up in his arms suddenly, maneuvering their position so he’s staring Taehyung earnestly in the eyes. “I’m yours. I promise I won’t be stupid again, I’ll try so hard for you.”

And Taehyung is so... so overcome by emotion from those words alone that he feels himself wilt a little bit. He buries his face in Jeongguk’s sturdy chest, warm and loving and giving him so much happiness.

He definitely doesn’t cry.

—

“I’m so happy.”

They’re up on the hill that overlooks the field at lunch, the one where Taehyung knows they truly reconnected. The sun’s rays bathe their feet and legs pleasantly from where they poke out from under the cool shade of a tree.

“I know, Guk.”

“I missed you so much.”

“I know, honey.”

“Are you sure you don’t wanna eat with Jimin and Hoseok?” Jeongguk’s fingers fiddle nervously on the ground, and Taehyung reaches a hand over to still and hold it.

“No, they’re a little... too happy for us.” Taehyung laughs, blushing some at the reminder of his rowdy friends' hoops and hollers. “I’m perfectly okay with some space from them for a little while longer. They understand.”

Jeongguk just grins that sweet and simple smile, the one that makes Taehyung forget all his worries, and pulls him closer into him.

“Guk?”

“Mm.” Jeongguk grunts, and Taehyung can tell his eyes must have fallen shut.

“I think I’m a little bit in love with you, too.” The confession is quiet, a flutter in his stomach as he sets the words free into the open air.

They’re trapped in their own little bubble, at peace, and loving, and happy.

“I’m so happy.” Jeongguk repeats, awestruck. It’s as if he truly can’t believe any of this, and Taehyung can’t either.

It’s all come so easy the moment he let it all go, as soon as he decided his happiness was what he valued.

Taehyung is definitely more than a little bit in love.