Work Text:
Minghao threw himself on his bed the moment he got in his shared apartment. It's been a long day in the emergency room and he's just drained. There were five patients brought in via stretcher, one of them was a victim of a hit and run. His twelve hour shift stretched to a grueling twenty four hours. He could have gone home on time but then again, when did he ever?
He was just falling asleep when he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. He took it out and with just one eye open, reads the message.
Junhui hyung:
There's food in the microwave. I'm heading out now.
The younger types a quick reply of thanks before he drifted off to sleep.
It was the glare that woke him up. He groans as he pulls his pillow from under his head to cover his face. After a long 9 days of work, he finally gets a day off and he plans on making the most of it. By sleeping it off and sleep he did.
It was just past noon when he wakes up again, this time feeling refreshed. He quickly made his way to the bathroom and showered. The quick showers he takes before leaving the hospital does not compare to the ones he takes at home. He rubs at his skin with his exfoliator until he sees his skin turns bright red before he washes himself off.
"I'm going out now. Food in the microwave." Junhui calls over his shoulder before he closes the front door behind him.
There's always food in the microwave. Minghao thinks to himself. He did not dwell on it though since his stomach growled at the mention of food. He opens the microwave and sees his favorite beef stew, still warm. His mouth waters and didn't waste any more time.
He was scrolling through his messages as he eats when he sees the last message.
"There's always food in the microwave." Minghao mumbles to himself thinking for the thousandth time where it went wrong.
Wen.Junhui
Minghao doesn't know what happened to be honest. They used to be really close growing up. Minghao came to be part of the family when he got orphaned at a very young age. Junhui's parents took the boy in and treated him like their own child when Minghao's mom died of cancer when he was still a toddler. All Minghao remembers to this day is how much he cried when Junhui's mom told him that his mom went to meet God. He was just five years old.
Junhui was excited to welcome the little boy to his house. He was an only child after all, and the thought of having a playmate excited the little boy.
Junhui took great care of him. They walked to school together, the older holding the younger's little hand. He made sure nobody bothers the younger boy by sitting with him during lunch. This went on until they were in high school.
Junhui is the human equivalent of sunshine and happy pills. The boy is bright and hyper and everyone loves him and Minghao, by extension is a recipient of that love too, despite Minghao being the opposite of the older.
Junhui is just the perfect company for him. Making him laugh when he's having a hard day. Cheering him up when school works get too much. Makes sure he eats and rests when he gets too busy with school and dance classes that he forgets his body's most basic needs. He's the yin to Minghao's yang.
Then college happened.
Junhui had to move out of the family house and live in a dorm. His university is six hours away from home and coming home on weekends is as impossible as Junhui sitting still for an hour.
Minghao missed Junhui and he made sure to let the other know. They would message from time to time and they would call each other when they're both not too busy. Nothing changed, really, just the distance. Junhui would come home during long breaks and they would bond like they always did. They played basketball and video games. Junhui would drive them to the beach if the weather permits. It was all good.
They were both excited when Minghao gets admitted to the same college and they already planned on sharing an apartment which Junhui's parents helped them find. They were okay during the first year. Minghao would say they even grew much closer after two years of living apart. Junhui even got Minghao a part time job at the library. (Since you're a nerd and you love books so much.- Junhui)
So it really puzzled him when he got home one day from his part time job, Junhui wouldn't even look at him. Minghao asked if he was okay and the older just shrugged saying "Just tired. There's food in the microwave."
Minghao sighs at the memory. It's been way too long since they had a proper conversation. He was just a sophomore taking up nursing when the freaking "food in the microwave" became the constant in any of their encounters. He's now on his second year working as an ER nurse. Minghao was hurt. But just like any other constant, it became something he got used to. Minghao became numb and he's quite okay with that. Well, he is now.
Minghao spent the day cleaning up. He threw away all expired stuff in the fridge and the cupboards. He grimaced at what he thinks used to be a burger now covered in mold sitting at the corner of the bottom shelf in the fridge. He thanks the heavens as Junhui at least had it sealed in a transparent microwavable container so he didn't have to open it and empty the contents of his stomach involuntarily at the surprise.
He considered having food delivered but knowing that Junhui won't be home til late, he decided to take his time and cook something up instead.
It's past 1am and dinner's long gone cold. Minghao sticks a note on the door of the fridge.
Food in the microwave.
Minghao's sleep was disturbed by the nonstop ringing of his phone. He blindly searched for it on the nightstand, quickly answering it once found.
"Hello?" Minghao answers with a raspy voice.
He hears loud music in the background melt with Junhui's giggling voice.
"Hello hello hello Minghaooo *hic*"
Minghao pulls the receiver away from his ear to check the name on the caller ID and frowns when he sees Junhui's name. I thought I was dreaming.
"Hyung? Where are you? Are you drunk?"
"Hihihihi I am very drunk Minghao-ssshhi! I think I will pash out shoon." Junhui slurs, still giggling while hiccupping at the same time.
"Send me your location hyung. I'll come and get you."
The younger was out of his room, grabbing his keys and toeing his shoes on when he hears the notification. He checks the location and breathes a sigh of relief when he recognized the location being a few blocks away.
Minghao drives slowly at the street lined up with bars and restaurants. It's almost 4am and it amuses him how much people are still out at this time. He parked his car to the side when he sees Junhui being held up by two guys, one of them Minghao recognized. The said guy waves him over the moment he sees him.
"Thanks for coming dude. He's been pretty out of it tonight. Took all the shots he could."
"Sorry about that Joshua hyung. I'll take him." Minghao takes Junhui's arm and was ready for resistance but was in for a surprise when the older unceremoniously throws his arms around the younger and clings onto him.
"Haohao you came to get me~" Junhui elongates the last syllable sounding like an overjoyed child.
"Yes hyung. I'm here. Now let's get you home."
This is the first time Minghao's seen his hyung this hammered. It's quite amusing if he's being honest. He's clingy, giggly and okay, kinda cute.
"Hao~~ you came for me~~" Junhui singsongs, hooking his arms on Minghao's own.
"Hyung, I'm driving.." the younger does his best to keep the wheel steady.
"Minghaoahhhhhh" Junhui continues to whine and cling onto him, pulling his arm a little.
"Hyung.. please.." Minghao pushes the older with one hand away from him gently. "We'll talk when we get home."
Junhui leans back and grins. "Okay~~ I will cloosshe my eyes a littleeeee~~" and he did. It didn't take long before Minghao hears his passenger snoring softly at his side.
"I can't believe this is the first conversation we're having.." he muses, the tiniest hint of smile on his face.
It didn't take long before Minghao's dragging Junhui up the stairs to their apartment. Now more than ever he's thankful that they only live on the second floor in this four-storey apartment with no elevators.
Minghao's arms gave out just in time to get Junhui on the couch.
"We're homeeeeee home home home" Junhui sings, the stench of whatever he had dancing in the air and almost knocking him out.
"Hyung you need to brush your teeth."
"I don't want to~~" the older shakes his head, folding his arms across his chest like a child.
"Suit yourself. I'm going to bed." Minghao says, suddenly feeling spent.
"Stayyyyy Haohao.. I missed you" Junhui pouts.
Minghao spares him a glace, unsure of what to say. He settles with;
"You're drunk hyung. You won't even know what happened in the morning."
Minghao makes a move to stand but Junhui pulls him close.
"Stayyyyyy~~ I missed you sooooo muchhhie Minghaoooo.." the older rubs his cheek against the younger's arm. Minghao feels heat rush up to his face, he's just glad Junhui's too drunk to notice.
"Well, if only you hadn't stopped talking to me," Minghao's eyes grew wide realizing what he just said. Relief washes over him as he remembers the other being straight up drunk.
"It's hardd~~"
Minghao's eyebrows scrunch at that. What's hard?
"What's hard?" He asks, not sure why he even bothered knowing he's gonna get a drunk answer.
He feels Junhui's shoulder shake a little. He looks to his side and sees the older trying to stiffle a laugh.
"What's funny?" Minghao asks, offended, to be quite honest.
Junhui giggles a little, looking at the younger through his eyelashes. He then leans his head on Minghao's shoulder, the giggling doesn't look like it's gonna stop anytime soon.
"Because! It's funnyyy~~ you're Haohao" Junhui cups Minghao's face all of a sudden, looks at him with that wide drunk grin on his face. "You're like my brother *hic* and I'm supposed to *hic* look after you *hic* like brother but *hic* it's hard~~" Junhui manages to say in between hiccups.
"Hyung," Minghao starts, pulling the older's hands away from his face. "What's so hard about that? We've always been like that. Like brothers."
Junhui's smile falters and in just a few seconds, tears started forming his eyes.
So this is what he's like when he gets really drunk? Minghao thinks to himself, starting to slightly panic because he would never know how to deal with that kind of a drunk Junhui.
"It's hard *hic* because *hic* I can't see you *hic* as a brother anymore."
Minghao feels his heart crack for multiple reasons: 1. Seeing Junhui cry 2. Junhui just told him he doesn't see him as a brother anymore.
I'm a nobody to him now, then.
"I don't understand why you're the one crying when you just practically told me I don't matter to you anymore." Minghao says bitterly, wiping at his own tears.
"Haohao*hic*" Junhui says, seemingly deaf to what Minghao had just said. "I love *hic* you and I hate that *hic* I'm feeling this *hic*way when *hic* you're supposed to *hic*just be a *hic* brother to me." Junhui hiccups for the last time before he passed out.
Minghao isn't sure he heard him right.
__
Junhui groans as he feels his temple beating so hard he thinks his brain is gonna explode. He rolls over before jerking up when he realized where he is. He looks around despite the hangover of the year, squinting his eyes a little, willing the headache away.
How did I get home?
The sinking weird feeling in his stomach tells him to grab his phone and see if he did anything stupid. He's been a pretty good drunk in the past, managing to get himself home, not troubling anyone. Last night was different though as he barely remembers how he got home.
He pulls his hair when he saw his call register. Minghao being the last dialled number.
"Arghhhh Junhui you stupid stupid stupid idiot!" He scratches his head as he chastises himself. He throws himself back to lie down, kicking and punching the air.
He tries to calm himself down after a while. He figured there's no use in beating himself up if he can't even remember what happened. So, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to recall everything that happened yesterday. And in true Junhui fashion, he started from when he woke up.
"So I woke up when my alarm went off.. cooked beef stew.. bath.. Minghao.. went to work.." He scratches his chin as he thinks.
"Lost bet to Joshua, round of drinks on me after work.. i got really drunk i can still taste the mixture of shots in my mouth a little.. called Minghao....." Junhui's eyes grew wide at the memory. "Minghao helped me up the stairs....... Minghao sitting next to me........"
And then it hits him, and hits him like a truck.
I fucking told him I love him.
"Junhui you stupid fuck! What the fuck!" Junhui berates himself, pulling his own hair thinking about how he's gone absolutely mental.
"What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck" he chants like a mantra, still unable to believe that he did what he did.
Years. For years he had kept it to himself. The yearning. The wanting. Everyday seeing Minghao was a struggle for him. How does he stop himself from falling deeper and deeper into the black hole that he found himself in?
He doesn't know when it happened. He's known the younger all his life and looked after him like he would his own brother. They did everything together, from studying to chores, to looking for universities and colleges. He remembers being so happy when he found out Minghao's going to his college. The two years he was practically away from the younger was something that took a while to get used to.
He remembers welcoming Minghao to their new apartment, just a couple of blocks away from campus. The shine on the younger's eyes at just the thought of being able to do everything together again after a while.
He remembers the weird feeling in his chest, like he felt it expand at the sight of the younger studying across from him on the dining table. He remembers wanting to reach out and hold those delicate hands whenever the younger would turn a page of his book or twirls his pen in between his fingers. He remembers swallowing on nothing at the sight of Minghao's pout when he tries to focus on a particularly difficult math equation that he said would not be needed in his line of work when he graduates.
Junhui caught himself wanting more. To see Minghao more. To hold him close. To feel him more. He just wants more with Minghao and it scared him.
It scared him so much that he had to do something about it.
His internship gave him an excuse to see him less often. He would take extra hours for extra credits just to avoid the younger. The younger voiced out his concern when Junhui would come home super late and leave early the next morning.
Junhui knows about Minghao's unhealthy ways of forgetting to eat and getting little rest and the only way to make sure that Minghao's taking care of himself is by making sure he at least has something healthy to eat. Junhui would wake up extra early just so he could prepare food for both him and Minghao, but really mostly having Minghao in mind.
He would leave the house just before Minghao's alarm go off but not before sticking a note on the fridge since that's where Minghao usually goes first thing in the morning to get himself a glass of water. The note would always only say "There's food in the microwave."
Junhui sighs.
I really said that. I really confessed to him.
He doesn't know what to do now. He doesn't know how his confession will make his relationship with Minghao more awkward than it already is. All he knows is the truth's already out and there's nothing more he can do about it.
Junhui steps out of his room and went straight to the bathroom. He needs some pills for his pounding head and a serious brushing of his teeth. He can think about action plans later, when he's hangover free.
At least I have a day to figure this out.
Boy, was he wrong.
The moment he steps out of the bathroom, the door to Minghao's room opened.
Junhui froze in his place, his eyes doubled in size. Minghao has the same expression on his face.
"W-what are y-you doing here?" The older manages to ask.
"I.. I still live here?" The younger answered.
Junhui shakes his head a little, more to get his thought straightened out than anything else.
"I mean.. a-aren't you supposed to be at work?"
Minghao shakes his head. "I got transferred to night shift. I start tonight."
"Oh. I see.." Junhui shuffles on his feet a little, unsure what to do next. He sees Minghao doesn't fare any better.
"Uhm.. we.. we should talk."
Junhui wanted to beat himself up when he said this. He's not sure why he said it and how he wish he could go back 10 seconds so he can unsay it but he knows that isn't possible.
Maybe it needs to be said. Maybe this is something I should address. Whatever happens after this is all up to Minghao.
Junhui takes Minghao's wrist and pulls him to the couch. He sat next to the younger, leaning back, trying to get comfortable. It's probably going to be an awkward talk, he needs to at least make sure his back's comfortable.
"Minghao.. last night.."
"Do you remember what happened?"
Junhui and Minghao said at the same time. He sees the younger avoid his eyes and looked down on his own lap. When he's sure the other isn't gonna say more, he started talking.
"Yes. I remember what happened. I know what happened."
Minghao looks back up at him, mouth slightly opened, perhaps thinking what to say next.
"Did you mean it?"
Junhui takes a deep breath. There really is no use in denying it.
"Yes. I meant it. And I still mean it."
The older watches as the younger's face slowly turn scarlet and he couldn't help but smile at the sight. Minghao avoided his gaze as he rubs his own ears, willing the blush to go away.
"I'm sorry.."
"For what?" The younger ask.
"For falling.."
"Are you really?"
Junhui thinks about the question. After a few seconds of contemplating, he opens his mouth again to speak.
"I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable. This is my truth and.. I didn't mean to not consider how you would feel when you find out about the truth.."
The younger looking at him, makes him want to just get everything off his chest. Knowing that he's listening intently only encourages him to just let it all out.
"I'm not sorry for falling for you though.. it was hard, realizing my feelings for you.. I.. I was so scared I was gonna ruin everything.. but you made it so easy.. falling for you.. and I think if I get to live another life and you're still in it, I would still fall for you.."
By this time, Minghao has tears forming in his eyes and that made Junhui panic a little. But he has made a resolve and there really is no going back. He'll just suffer the consequence if he has to.
"Minghao, don't cry. I don't want you to feel bad that you're not able to return it. It's okay.. really.. don't cry.." Junhui says as he wipes away the tears from the younger's eyes. He tries to smile when Minghao looks back at him.
"It's really okay.. I promise.."
Minghao's own hands came to hold his, he feels the younger squeeze his hand and as much as his heart cracks a little, he feels relieved. That's all the assurance he needs.
"Hyung.."
Junhui smiles at him, nodding his head a little encouraging the younger to go on. He's afraid his voice would shake if he speaks.
"I love you too."
Epilogue
Minghao drags himself inside his shared apartment after another grueling twenty-four hour shift. He's tired and he wants to sleep but he's hungry and knows he needs to take care of his hunger before he could drift off to sleep.
He frowns when he sees the microwave empty.
Minghao fishes his phone out of his pocket and quickly typed a message.
You:
There's no food in the microwave. I'm hungry 😔
It took less than a minute before he got a reply.
Junhui❤:
I'm almost home babe. I bought food. Hang in there 😘