Chapter Text
Chapter 1: Headfirst
Over all these years he was asking himself where he turned wrong. What did he do to unleash this anger from the man in front of him? How could the boy, always sporting a bright smile, from Tatooine turn into a man who hated him so deeply? All his life he had tried to fulfill the expectations of others. Starting with his own padawan days under Master Jinns' guidance and going on with his knighthood. Still it felt like he was running headfirst into a wall when it came to Anakin. Why wasn't he never good enough for him?
"See? You don't even care! All you do is lecturing me, you never approve of the things I do! I could have saved these people, but now it's too late, because they're kriffing dead!", Anakin shouted at him.
"Anakin, you know-".
"Oh don´t say that again-", Anakin's voice was hoarse now from shouting the whole conversation, "Don´t say you care, because I know you don't. Do you even have a heart or is that jedi-facade of yours all you have? You're a disgrace to Qui-Gon's teachings... I wish you wouldn't be here but him."
There it was. The words he always feared but had known that they were always deeply anchored inside Anakin's head since the day his master left them. But he was right. He was no Qui-Gon Jinn, and never will be.
The last few words were nearly spat at him and Obi-Wan felt himself at a loss of words. Anakin knew he had hit a tender spot of his master, but he didn't care, his boiled-up anger was flowing free and right towards his now dumbfounded master.
At first Obi-Wan wanted to respond but by the mentioning of Qui-Gon his mouth snapped shut.
Some people say the eyes are the portals to ones soul and they portray ones emotions even if the person tries to suppress it. Obi-Wan's eyes turned from blue to steel-grey glinted with a flash of fear, despair, anger and sadness.
"I'm sorry you had to go through this, Qui-Gon would have done better."
Without saying another word Obi-Wan turned and walked away through the large corridors of the jedi temple.
Anakin huffed. "Just walk away... as you always do."
A few days prior
"Anakin, wait!", Obi-Wan shouted while trying to keep up with his friends` fast pace.
"Kriff, master, these people are dying, we can't just leave them", Anakin stopped and turned towards his master, anger flashing through his eyes.
"I know, but you heard the council, we're needed elsewhere."
His hands tightening into fists, Anakin looked into the distance, where the smoke of the battles were still visible. It had been weeks since they were dispatched to this forsaken planet. And as to undermine their bad situation, it kept on raining and storming. The ground had turned into deep mud which threatened to tear the men to the ground if they didn't watch their step.
After their last battle Anakin had left the campside, ignoring the heavy rain that was pouring down on him. Catching on his friends emotions, Obi-Wan had followed him.
Which resulted in the situation at hand, both men standing in the rain, already drenched to the bone.
"But the council is wrong, don't you care about these people? We could save them."
Obi-Wan contemplated about Anakin's words and let out a sigh.
"Anakin, I know you want to save everyone, but sometimes you have to realize that it's not possible to do so. You know well enough, that if I could save them, I would have done so already."
"We didn't even try! If you wouldn't have stopped me I would have succeeded in taking down this group of pirates!"
"Anakin, you could have been killed, we lost a huge amount of men in the last battle, we're in no position to do anything! Did you really think one person, jedi or not, can fare up against fifty heavily armed pirates?"
"As if you care! You just obey the council's orders and don't care about the people around you!"
"Anakin, where is that coming from? You know I care about you", Obi-Wan said in a low and steady voice while eyeing his friend carefully.
Anakin snorted, "As you did when my mother died? You never let me see her until then. And even after her death you didn't seem to care. So don't make me believe you give a kriff about these people, when you're as emotionally cold as a rock." With that Anakin retreated back to the camp.
Obi-Wan flinched a little at these words and looked to the muddy ground. Looking up at his formerapprentices's retreating form, he muttered to himself: "I'm sorry I failed you, Anakin."
Truth to be told he hadn't known about Anakin's mother until the events on Geonosis because when he had been on Tatooine with Qui-Gon, he had stayed behind on the ship. And as Anakin never confided in him about his nightmares later on, he stopped asking after some time, trying to give the boy space. Obi-Wan knew he failed as a mentor and father-figure at this point but somehow, he just couldn't reach Anakin and felt like he was pushing him further away the more he tried. When Padme stepped into his padawan's life, Anakin seemed to brighten up. He was smiling more often. So, Obi-Wan turned a blind eye, lied in front of the council, protecting the only thing that made Anakin happy. It saddened him that Anakin thought that he would choose the council over his best friend and brother. But as long as Anakin was happy, Obi-Wan would have his back even if his friend was pushing him away.
A few weeks later
Ahsoka parried the aggressive swing that was aimed at her head. The force radiated around her, mixed with waves of anger coming from her master. She knew something was off, having noticed Anakin's strange behavior. Normally Master Kenobi was the calming part of their trio but she hadn’t seen him for weeks, neither seemed Anakin to care about that fact.
"Master- can we-", she managed to get out between the blows, "please take a break?"
Anakin looked her in the eye and huffed. "Fine", he said, turning his lightsaber off. Ahsoka contemplated for a moment if she should bring up the topic of her grandmaster's absence.
"Master, have you seen Master Obi-Wan lately? I think it's strange that-." She never finished, because Anakin interrupted her with a thundering voice.
"Why do you care? He's a kriffing marionette to the council and it doesn't seem to bother him. He's nothing better than a cold droid." Ahsoka had never heard her master talking like that about Master Kenobi.
"Master, what happened?"
"You want to know what happened? He let innocents die because of a kriffing order by the council", Anakin hissed and stormed off.
Something told Ahsoka that that wasn't the whole truth knowing her grandmaster.
It hurt hearing such things from her master, especially because she knew that Anakin saw Obi-Wan as a father figure. But lately all he had left for him were words filled with hate and anger.
"I guess I have to find out on my own", she muttered to herself and left the training halls.
Two weeks ago
They had the element of surprise when they advanced on the Invisible Hand. The Negotiator kept the ship from escaping their clutches again while Obi-Wan himself, together with a few men from the 212th, infiltrated the cruiser from the inside.
Getting on the ship was rather easy, getting off would be the fun part, the general mused. The droids still didn't know of their presence so they had to act fast if they wanted to succeed. He turned towards his commander.
“Cody, gather your men and set the bombs in the machine room.”
“Yes Sir, but what about you?”
The ginger-haired man mustered the clone he trusted so much. He smirked. “Someone has to keep the good general occupied.”
Even with the helmet on Obi-Wan could tell that Cody was frowning. A flash of concern passed through the force. “General, let me come with you, please.”
“No Cody, the men need you and I don't want you near him.”
“You're going to need someone to have your back.”
Yes, Anakin should be by my side, Obi-Wan thought sadly. He tried to release his feelings into the force but still the heaviness clung to his heart.
“Please, Cody. I have to do this on my own.”
Cody sighed. "Very well sir, but stay safe. I would hate to tell your friends that you died on my watch.” With that he took off towards the machine room together with the men, leaving Obi-Wan behind in their hiding spot.
Some small part inside of him still dwelled on the commanders' last words. As if anyone would miss me. He shook his head.
“No time for such things", he muttered to himself and made his way to the bridge. The ship was shaking rather violently as the Negotiator continued the attack to cover up their advance.
He was half way there when the alarm went off. They had been spotted then. Obi-Wan centered himself and took out his lightsaber. He had to buy his men time. Taking off in a sprint, the jedi ran through the corridors all the while cutting down the battle droids who happened to step in his way. He moved in a blur, pivoting himself through the waves of enemies. Just as he suspected, they changed their focus from the clones to him.
Good. Obi-Wan sank deeper into his dance with life and death. The corridors soon were filled with scrap metal which laid scattered around the jedi master. His blood was pounding in his ears and exhaustion started to settle in, the droids seemed to have stopped their advance on him.
Finally. Obi-Wan turned around, fletched his teeth and snarled with an evil grin: “Hello there, General.”
“Kenobi.” A tinny voice growled, followed by a cough. Grievous was known to have killed several jedi before and Obi-Wan knew from experience that he was no opponent to mess with.
He didn't need to wait long for the attack. Grievous pulled out four lightsabers and jumped at Obi-Wan with incredible speed and strength. Despite being the master of Soresu, he had a hard time to block the rain of blows that came down on him. He relayed on the force to give him strength.
They danced around each other. Grievous used the walls to launch himself at Obi-Wan from different directions. He was at an advantage in the rather small corridor.
Still Obi-Wan held his ground. As Grievous jumped at him from above, the jedi used his momentum to slide underneath the droid general and chop off one of the chest armor pieces. Grievous kicked out at him, trying to connect with the mans' head. Obi-Wan ducked under the claw and force pushed the general into the wall. With a resounding crack the general crashed into the wall, but Grievous got on his feet again and glowered at Kenobi.
“Playing dirty, are we? Let's see how long you can keep up.” He cracked a laugh and attacked again. One of his lightsabers slipped through Obi-Wan's defense and caught him square on his chest. Obi-Wan winced and backed off. He was lucky, it was just a minor burn. Still it hindered his movement.
“You're getting tired, jedi.” Grievous growled.
Kenobi recomposed himself and changed tactics. Time to play on the offensive.
“I didn't know you were that much of a talker, Grievous. Should I bring tea next time?”
He attacked with a series of blows. Obi-Wan caught the droid general by surprise which earned him a small amount of leverage over their fight. Swinging his lightsaber in an arc he hit Grievous where he chopped of one the chest pieces before. Small sparks where emitting from the damaged piece, but it didn't seem to bother Grievous much. He was only getting more aggressive. They kept going like this until Grievous changed tactics.
Thwack. The jedi barely had time to catch the incoming two blades with his own. His joints and muscles were screaming from the strain. Obi-Wan gritted his teeth and tried to keep the two sabers at bay.
Grievous chuckled at the sight of the struggling jedi. “This is the end, Kenobi.”
Obi-Wan realized his mistake to late. Grievous swung the third lightsaber at his legs which forced him to jump backwards out of the saberlock. He didn't have the time to avoid the fourth. Pain erupted on the left side of his head. He dropped his lightsaber and crumbled to the floor. His fingers found their way to the open wound on his head. The lightsaber's heat wasn't enough to cauterize it. There was a loud ringing noise in his head, a distant scream and he realized numbly he was missing something. He stared at the little bloodied flesh piece in front of him on the floor. His ear. Grievous had severed his ear. Black dots started to obscure his vision and he couldn't make out the noises around him.
A metal claw connected with his chest, pinning him to the floor. He felt something break as Grievous leaned down on him. He couldn't breath. Blood started to fill his mouth.
So this is how I die. Obi-Wan tried to force push Grievous away from him but to no avail.
Grievous laughed and pulled his foot away. “I will crush you, like your jedi fellow crushed me.”
This time the claw didn't come down on his torso again. It came crushing down on his right knee. He felt the bone shatter to pieces. Obi-Wan tried to scream but only managed a weak gurgling sound. In a last attempt he tried to reach for his fallen lightsaber.
He was rewarded with another crushed limb. Obi-Wan laid heaving on the floor, the puddle of blood around him grew steadily bigger and tinted his robes in a dark red color.
Merciful darkness swept him away.