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Having a fellow member as your soulmate has its benefits and its disadvantages. On one hand, it made it a lot easier for them during their trainee days to coordinate practices and monthly evaluations when they could. There were many trainees who hadn't yet found their soulmate and who probably had to suffer even more because of the distraction of a second song in their head. Technically, that's why training with two songs is included in their skill set, but it doesn't make it any easier.
On the other hand, if talking about disadvantages, Beomgyu would say that it's not as great, because there's less room to hide, in a sense. Because they're soulmates, of course it's expected that their emotions and thoughts are to be shared with each other - for them to lean on each other and trust each other - but it also makes it harder for them to get away with things when they're alone.
These instances often occur particularly when it comes to individual practice. And when soulmates are as stubborn as Taehyun and Beomgyu, sometimes individual practice only causes more worry.
After dinner, the five boys are often left to their own free activities, as long as there's no scheduled practice or other places to be. With their comeback approaching, individual practice becomes more common, although they're reminded to rest adequately and to enjoy their free time while they can.
"Beomgyu-hyung, Yeonjun-hyung and I are going to the gym after dinner. Did you want to come with us?" Taehyun asks.
"I'm okay, thanks. I'm going to work on the choreography for PUMA a bit more." Beomgyu smiles.
Taehyun can tell that he's still frustrated and unsatisfied from their previous dance practice from the way that Beomgyu chews his bottom lip and his eyebrows furrow in worry. It's a familiar feeling that all of them are accustomed to, but Taehyun knows that Beomgyu (being the perfectionist he is) especially mulls over it and won't stop until he's satisfied with his performance.
"I understand, hyung. Just don't overwork yourself, okay? Remember to drink water and to take breaks. Oh, and don't forget to stretch!" Taehyun fusses.
"Taehyunnie, it'll be fine. I know, baby." Beomgyu giggles before pressing a soft kiss to Taehyun's forehead.
"And only for an hour! With regular breaks. I'd better come home to find you waiting for cuddles, okay?" Taehyun scolds.
Beomgyu chuckles. "Just as long as you shower before you cuddle me with your filthy sweat."
"Oh please, you know you'd still cuddle him either way, Beomgyu." Yeonjun laughs.
"No way! That's Soobin-hyung!" Beomgyu retorts.
"What about me?" Soobin asks, too immersed in his conversation with Kai to pay attention.
The boys finish their dinner and quickly move to their respective activities, Kai and Soobin staying at the dorms to clean up and relax. Beomgyu makes his way to the isolated practice room, flooding it with lights and preparing for his individual practice. He stretches thoroughly, as advised by Taehyun, to avoid injuries, and then proceeds to play PUMA.
Practising by himself always feels weird and out of place, with Beomgyu just staring at his reflection in the mirror, doing movements that don't make sense without the whole picture of the five members dancing together. He tries his best to memorise the positions, to feel the others dancing beside him, to visualise where the centre would be.
Dancing is what he loves doing. He feels the music thrum inside his body, and he remembers the next steps with his muscle memory. He matches the movements to the music, and puts his power and emotions into every step. Dancing is fun.
But dancing is also hard.
The choreography for PUMA is particularly meticulous and precise, demanding incredible body control and sharp movements. Such precision is something that Beomgyu hasn't quite gotten down yet. He watches himself in the mirror, notices the wrong angles and the one-step-too-late, and grits his teeth in frustration. He shakes it off and continues with the rest of the choreography, but eventually, he's identified the places where he needs the most adjusting and practice, and resigns to the ugly repetitions that he hates.
He remembers to take a break before Taehyun can send him a song to scold him, and only finds himself wallowing in his regrets and frustrations further. His breaks get shorter the longer he goes on, but at this point, he doesn't notice and he doesn't care.
***He starts the song at the pre-chorus.
He watches himself, staring at his reflection intensely.
One wrong hand movement.
He restarts the chorus.
He tries again.
He fails.
He grunts in irritation.
Restart the chorus.
He gets further.
One wrong step.
A heavy sigh of exhaustion.
He feels his body starting to ache.
He pushes on.
Restart.
He fails at the first mistake all over again.
He shouts with anger.
Why can't you get this right?
Why did you perfect it, and then fail it the next time?
When will you ever get it right?
When will you stop being a burden to everyone?
Why can't you be perfect?
***Beomgyu doesn't even realise that he's curled into himself and crying until he feels warm arms wrap around him and a soft voice hushing him as familiar fingers caress his hair. His body wracks with more sobs as he clutches onto his boyfriend, fists in the back of his shirt and burying his face in the crook of his neck. The familiar scent and the gentle rubs on his back soothe him to calm down as his anchor grounds him.
"I told you not to overwork yourself, dummy." Taehyun says, tilting Beomgyu's head up and cupping his cheek.
"I'm sorry. I just... lost myself in my dancing." Beomgyu sniffs.
"Are you okay?" Taehyun whispers.
"Now that you're here, I am." Beomgyu smiles before leaning into a chaste kiss.
"Okay. Let's go home and cuddle?" Taehyun giggles.
"Five more minutes? You just recharged me and I really think I can get it down now-"
"Beomgyu-hyung, as much as I love our songs... I swear to God, if I ever have to listen to another chorus of 'PUMA'-" Taehyun groans.
"Okay, okay. I got it." Beomgyu laughs, pulling Taehyun up into a hug. "Thank you."
"Anytime, baby."
But it's not just Beomgyu that's stubborn when it comes to individual practice. Sometimes, Taehyun is just as bad.
They finish yet another dance practice at 10:00PM, exhausted and lying on the ground to rest. Beomgyu, who treasures his sleep, decides to head back to the dorms first so that he can be well-rested for the next day.
"What are you going to do?" Beomgyu asks, yawning the next second.
"Don't know. I might work on my voice. The vocals are pretty challenging for this album. I'll chill and go on Weverse in the meantime." Taehyun says.
"Okay. I'll message you when I'm in bed. Don't stay up too late, though. You'd better be home by 12 at the latest." Beomgyu says firmly.
"I know, don't worry. I'll even text the group chat when I'm leaving." Taehyun pulls Beomgyu in for a good-night kiss before they part and Taehyun heads to their little studio room.
Taehyun spends his free time on Weverse, communicating with MOA before receiving a message from Beomgyu.
beomie-hyung 🐻❤️: i'm in bed now, gorgeous. remember, don't stay up too late!
hyunnie 🐿️❤️: i won't! sleep well and i'll see you in the morning. i love you, beautiful.
beomie-hyung 🐻❤️: good night! i love you more.
He smiles before immediately going to listen to his sleep playlist to help Beomgyu. The latter will usually be asleep within three or four songs, especially seeing as they've been packed with schedules and practice that exhaust their bodies and minds to no end.
Once 20 minutes have passed, Taehyun starts his vocal warm-ups. He likes the songs for this album, as they've got a range of vocals that can showcase his voice, along with challenging ad-libs and high notes.
He starts with "Maze in the Mirror", a song that holds meaning for all of them, but especially for Beomgyu. Taehyun remembers when Beomgyu was first composing the song, and how he would let Taehyun hear little snippets - both voluntarily and involuntarily. They'd all helped out with the process, providing their feedback and writing their own lyrics. He remembers when it had been confirmed that they'd be releasing it in their upcoming album, and he can never forget the way that Beomgyu could hardly contain his excitement in front of Bang PD-nim. As soon as they were safe and out of earshot, Beomgyu squealed and jumped into Taehyun's arms as Taehyun swung him around in an embrace.
"It's finally going to be released as an actual song, Hyunnie!" Beomgyu beamed.
"It is. I'm so proud of you, baby." Taehyun smiled into a kiss, mixed with elated giggles.
"I can't wait for MOA to hear it." Beomgyu rested his forehead on Taehyun's.
"Me neither. They can finally see what an amazing producer my soulmate is." Taehyun boasted, causing Beomgyu to blush at the sudden compliment.
Whenever he practises the song, there's a sense of pride that wells within him. It's filled with the memories and emotions from their trainee days, and he especially understands what Beomgyu was going through at the time. He remembers countless nights of comforting the young, fragile boy, and of helping and encouraging him when needed. It's the acknowledgement that their hardship has helped them to come this far that makes his heart swell with pride for not just Beomgyu, but for all of them. He's proud to be singing his boyfriend's song, so he always practises it especially hard, even though he'll deny the fact when the others accuse him of being biased and not putting the same amount of effort in all of their songs. It makes him want to write a song too. One that Beomgyu can sing with just as much pride as he's feeling now.
After he's satisfied with his practice for "Maze in the Mirror", he moves onto "Eternally", since it's the most vocally challenging. He continues his practice, making his way through each song, and of course, time is forgotten while he's immersed in the music.
When Beomgyu wakes up in the middle of the night, he's welcomed by the familiar sounds of the last chorus in "Can't You See Me?". He reaches for his phone and the screen screams 2:16AM at him.
"Damn it, Taehyun." Beomgyu groans as he forces his sleep-heavy body out of the warm bed.
He dresses himself with warm layers of multiple jackets, puts on proper pants, takes his phone, and heads out to the company. Beomgyu hears a pause, and he wonders if Taehyun has finally decided to call it a night. The thought doesn't last very long, as the opening notes of "Can't You See Me?" start up again. Beomgyu walks faster.
Taehyun knows he's in trouble when the door opens suddenly (shocking him from the sudden noise) and he sees a very tired Beomgyu, dressed in all his layers. He's grumpy and clearly annoyed, both from having to wake up in the middle of the night and from seeing Taehyun still awake.
"You said you wouldn't."
"I'm sorry, baby. I... I just got carried away. You know how I am." Taehyun looks down in guilt.
Within a second, he's enveloped in a warm embrace, arms around his neck as he wraps his arms around Beomgyu's waist and buries his face against Beomgyu's torso.
"If you're really sorry, then hurry up and come back to bed already." Beomgyu mumbles, still half-asleep and extra clingy.
"Yes, baby." Taehyun smiles.
Taehyun packs away his things and flicks the light of the studio room off as they leave. They leave the company, bowing to the security guard and ignoring the fact that he's probably confused at the sight of the two idols leaving in the middle of the night.
The harsh cold bites Taehyun's skin, and he shivers almost automatically. Without any words, Beomgyu takes off his down jacket and passes it to Taehyun. Taehyun knows better than to fight against Beomgyu, especially when he's still in a somewhat bad mood (although Taehyun knows he's just pretending to still be mad). Taehyun chuckles and takes Beomgyu's hand again, squeezing it tight and lifting their interlocked hands to place a kiss. Beomgyu's 'bad mood' breaks in an instant as he smirks, red cheeks from embarrassment or the cold, no one will know.
When they arrive at the dorms, they remove their jackets before Taehyun lets Beomgyu lead him to his bed silently. They settle under the covers as Taehyun immediately rests his head on Beomgyu's chest, wrapping his arms around Beomgyu's waist and quickly basking in his boyfriend's warmth. Beomgyu's hand wraps around his shoulders, hand carding through Taehyun's hair while his other arm rests on Taehyun's. Taehyun leaves soft kisses along Beomgyu's neck, breathy laughs tickling Beomgyu, before nuzzling close and allowing himself to be soothed to sleep by Beomgyu's hands in his hair and stroking his arm. Beomgyu kisses the top of his head before closing his own eyes and letting himself drift to sleep.
As stubborn as they can be, they keep each other accountable and they look out for each other. When they find themselves lost in the music, they're each other's anchors, pulling them back to peace and safety and bringing them home, in each other's arms.