Chapter Text
Friday, April 23, 20XX
The second Shuichi Saihara woke up to a message from his editor, Kiibo, he knew it’d be a troublesome day.
K1-B0: Hello! You have been chosen to participate in my new reality TV show with 15 others (myself included). Please respond ASAP if you agree to attend.
Shuichi was about to refuse when he remembered everything Kiibo had done for him. After all, he was his editor of six years by now. They met in high school, and he had been one of the only people Shuichi would call a friend. Of course, it had been eight years since high school, but they were still great friends. Shuichi owed Kiibo his channel and his followers. He sighed, and decided it was about time to step out of his comfort zone.
And so, Shuichi hesitantly replied with a simple ‘sure’. He had no idea how much this would change his life.
As soon as Shuichi agreed, he was put into a group chat with 15 other people. Two of which were having a fight.
[untitled group chat]
9:13 AM
GorgeousGirlGenius: Of course a virgin like you would say something like that
KingHorse: shut it cum dumpster!
GorgeousGirlGenius: Eek!
AnxietyHolmes: ...am I interrupting something?
KingHorse: nishishi, not at all cutie~ ;)
Cutie?
[untitled group chat]
9:14 AM
GorgeousGirlGenius: Jesus Cockichi, can you go 5 minutes without flirting with every guy you meet?
KingHorse: well, what does a filthy whore like you know?
K1-B0: Everyone settle down.
K1-B0: And by everyone, I mean Miu and Kokichi.
AvocadoDoesMakeup: Shots firedddddd
K1-B0: Anyways, everyone here has agreed to take place in my new reality show “House of Ultimates” where I gather the most popular (or in other words, ultimate ) youtubers.
AvocadoDoesMakeup: Sponsored by yours truly.
Assassin: I only joined because you edit my videos.
K1-B0: That’s precisely why I chose you all :D, I thought it would be easier to contact the youtubers I edit videos for.
KingHorse: cut the chit chat, when and where is this thing?
LuminaryoftheStars: I, KAITO MOMOTA LUMINARY OF THE STARS, WOULD ALSO LIKE TO KNOW WHEN THIS EVENT TAKES PLACE!!
K1-B0: Thank you for your enthusiasm, Kaito!
LuminaryoftheStars: YOU ARE WELCOME KIIBO!!!
K1-B0: Here’s the information:
- The event will take place between May 1-April 30. Yes, a whole year.
- We will be staying in one of Rantaro’s houses that he generously lent us in exchange for promoting his family’s business.
- Bedrooms, toiletries, and food will be provided. However, things such as clothes, personal items, filming equipment, technology, and pets will not be provided.
- Speaking of pets, THEY ARE ALLOWED :D! There is a maximum of two pets per person, and if you let me know beforehand, I will provide food and bedding for them. (The only exception for this pet rule is Gonta as he has stated that his bugs are not pets. Gonta, you are allowed to bring all your bugs as long as you keep them in your room and don’t bring them out.)
- I am not asking for you to stop making videos. The bedrooms are all sound proofed, so do not worry about disturbing your neighbor.
- This is 100% free, meaning that you will be able to live here without paying rent, buying food, all of that. You are a guest here, and do make yourself at home.
- If you have any more questions, let me know!
The replies were instant.
[untitled group chat]
9:21
GorgeousGirlGenius: The rooms are sound proof, huh? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
PianoFreak: Thank you so much! What’s the address for the house?
BugBoi: Gonta thank Kiibo for let Gonta bring bug friend
KingHorse: @GorgeousGirlGenius nishishi, and you wonder why I call you a whore. everyone, the stupid cunt is on the loose again
KingHorse: hide your children
RealLifeMage: nyeh...are the beds comfy?
HowToKirumi: Do you mind if I take care of the cooking and cleaning? As a thanks for letting us stay for a year.
DefenseFromDegenerateMales: TENKO WOULD LIKE THE SAME ROOM AS HIMIKO!
GorgeousGirlGenius: @KingHorse Well maybe if you stop typing out your stupid laugh, I’ll consider being more PG, you little shit.
KingHorse: @AvocadoDoesMakeup WAHHHHHHHHH MIU IS BULLYING ME AGAINNNNNN
CatPrisoner: Are we trapped in the house? I want to know for.... personal reasons
AvocadoDoesMakeup: @KingHorse welp, can’t help ya there.
AvocadoDoesMakeup: @GorgeousGirlGenius if you make fun of my honorary little brother again, I’ll make you wish you were never born.
GorgeousGirlGenius: Eep!!
GorgeousGirlGenius: W-well maybe t-the little b-bitch deserved i-it.
KingHorse: ...did you just stutter through text?
KingHorse: you fucking furry
KingHorse: weeb
KingHorse: roleplayer
PlainJaneCosplays: What’s wrong with being a furry? Or a weeb? Or a roleplayer?
KingHorse: @PlainJaneCosplays everything
KingHorse: or was that a lie? nishishi~~
AvocadoDoesMakeup: Don’t think you’re off the hook either Kokichi
KingHorse: @AvocadoDoesMakeup you can’t get mad at me, I’m babey :3
AvocadoDoesMakeup: FOR THE TENTH FUCKING TIME
AvocadoDoesMakeup: BEING BABEY
AvocadoDoesMakeup: DOES NOT
AvocadoDoesMakeup: EXCUSE YOU
AvocadoDoesMakeup: FOR BULLYING MIU
KingHorse: you didn’t deny I was babey though (◕‿◕✿)
AvocadoDoesMakeup: ASLKDFJALSKDJFLKASJDLKFJSALKDJFLKJ
K1-B0: This seems like a good time to step in and answer your questions
K1-B0: @PianoFreak A party bus (yes, you read that right) is picking all of you up, so you will not need to know the address.
K1-B0: @RealLifeMage The beds are very comfy, do not worry!!
K1-B0: @HowToKirumi I do not mind you taking over most of the household chores! However, you are still a guest, so please do not overwork yourself! :D
K1-B0: @DefenseFromDegenerateMales There will be separate rooms for you all to sleep and record videos in, but you can share a room with Himiko if you want.
K1-B0: @CatPrisoner You are not, by any means, trapped in the house, nor are you required to stick around all of the time. But it is preferred that you participate in the activities that take place around every other week, and that you sleep in the rooms provided.
K1-B0: Again, if anyone has any more questions, do not be afraid to ask!!
GorgeousGirlGenius: Yo, you forgot about my question about the rooms being soundproofed
K1-B0: Trust me, I did not forget.
KingHorse: DAMN, Kiibo roasted your ass real good
PianoFreak: I’m so excited!!! I can’t wait to meet you all!!
AnxietyHolmes: oh, Kaede… you’re here too?
PianoFreak: HI SHUICHI! Thank god, you’re also here! Now I’m more excited!
Atua’sVessel: May Angie ask who this “god” is?
AvocadoDoesMakeup: LMAO, did you seriously just ask that?????
KorkTalks: I also cannot wait for this interesting event. Is there a basement?
K1-B0: There is!!
KorkTalks: Wonderful
KingHorse: so no one’s gonna say anything about that?
KingHorse: no one?
KingHorse: ok
Assassin: I admit this sounds somewhat fun.
GorgeousGirlGenius: I think we’re forgetting the REAL question here
GorgeousGirlGenius: Are we getting paid?
K1-B0: Unfortunately, we do not have the money to pay all of you, so you will not be paid.
K1-B0: Sorry.
PianoFreak: Don’t worry about it Kiibo!! I’m sure we’re all already thankful for the opportunity to be in your show!!
BugBoi: Gonta agree!
K1-B0: Thank you guys :D.
K1-B0: Well, see you all in about a week! Have a good day :).
PianoFreak: Byeee!!! You have a good day too!!
AvocadoDoesMakeup: Thx for all of this Kiibo
AnxietyHolmes: yea, thanks kiibo
KingHorse: nishishi~ i can’t wait either! or was that a lie?
GorgeousGirlGenius: Just when I thought you couldn’t get cooler, you prove me wrong!
RealLifeMage: nyehhh…
DefenseFromDegenerateMales: TENKO SHALL TRANSLATE FROM HIMIKO SAID! SHE SAYS “I can’t wait to try out the beds!”
DefenseFromDegenerateMales: TENKO AGREES WITH HIMIKO
CatPrisoner: what could go wrong
KorkTalks: Famous last words…
PlainJaneCosplays: AAAAAAAAAA, THIS REMINDS ME OF ONE OF MY FAVORITE TROPES
PlainJaneCosplays: THE ROOMMATES TROPE
PlainJaneCosplays: I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHO GETS TOGETHER <3
HowToKirumi: Thank you Kiibo
Atua’sVessel: Atua says this is a wonderful idea!!
K1-B0: Thank you all for your support! It is all very touching.
K1-B0: Bye!
LuminaryoftheStars: ...IS IT TOO LATE NOW TO ASK WHAT ENTHUSIASM MEANS?
LuminaryoftheStars: ...OK