Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Want to kiss again?”

Enta considered it. “Hmm… Not now.”

“Then, you just want to cuddle?”

“Yeah.”

Kazuki turned around in Enta’s arms, his back to Enta’s chest. “Do you know who your new roommate is, yet?”

“Not yet,” Enta said, peering over Kazuki’s shoulder at the empty bed on the other side of the room. “I asked if there was a chance of being here by myself, but the housing guy just laughed at me. Apparently I’m lucky I’m in one of the smaller doubles, because they’ve considered putting three people in the larger ones.” He squeezed Kazuki around the middle. “Why couldn’t you be in the same program? I’d much rather room with you.”

“I know, me too,” Kazuki said.

“At least your roommate is sweet,” Enta said. “Even if she should be transferred.”

“She doesn’t want to make a fuss,” Kazuki said. “She said she lucked out, getting me. Even if she were transferred to the girls’ dorm, her new roommate might not be so accepting.”

“Ah, yeah,” Enta said.

“Seen any of the new first years yet?” Kazuki asked. “Any of them catch your eye?”

“I’m not really looking,” Enta said against Kazuki’s shoulder. “We met the new soccer team members, though.”

“Anyone promising?”

“The first years all look so small,” Enta complained.

Kazuki laughed. “You’re one to talk.”

“I guess… there was one guy,” Enta said. “I guess he’s here on scholarship, but he was dressed like a rich kid. Really tall. A lot of the team members were interested in him, but I didn’t see what the big deal was.”

“A first year?”

“He’s new, but I think the captain said he’s older than us,” Enta said.  “Maybe he got held back a year in grade school.”

“He cute?”

“Not in the slightest,” Enta spat. “Maybe a little cool, if you squint. Nothing like you, though.”

Kazuki laughed. “You can’t compare every guy you meet to me.”

“Why not? If he’s not better than you, then what’s the point?”

Kazuki rolled over and landed on top of Enta, surrounding him. “Because we’re not together,” he said quietly. “I don’t want you to miss out on meeting new people because you’re too attached to me. That wasn’t part of the deal.”

Enta pressed his lips together. “I know. I’m only joking.”

“Not joking enough.” Kazuki lowered to nuzzle Enta’s neck. “Give people a chance to surprise you. We won’t stay like this forever.”

Sometimes, Enta wished they could. But after the many nights they’d spent together in the past year staying up late to talk about it, Enta knew it wasn’t going to last. There were some experiences he wanted to have that Kazuki could just never give him, and while Enta didn’t love Kazuki any less for it, they’d agreed it was for the best that Enta look for other people to date.

But when Kazuki was so lovely and affectionate, it was hard for Enta to think about giving it all up. Finding someone who understood his relationship with Kazuki would be tough, and understandably so. Who would want to see the guy they were dating cuddling with his best friend, or even kissing him on occasion? It would be such a selfish thing to wish for.

“Ah, it’s getting late,” Kazuki said, seeing the clock on Enta’s bedside table. He kissed Enta’s cheek and got up. “You’ll let me know when your new roommate gets here, won’t you? I want to meet him.”

Enta sat up and shrugged. “I guess. I don’t have high hopes for him being interesting, though.”

“Have some optimism,” Kazuki urged cheerfully. “I’ll see you tomorrow, probably.”

When Kazuki left, Enta fell back down onto his side, sighing. Maybe he should’ve taken Kazuki up on his offer to kiss. “For practice,” he always said. The thought had just made Enta feel lonely, though. He wanted someone to kiss him because it felt good. Because they wanted him. Kazuki only did it because he felt bad about not properly returning Enta’s feelings.

Enta needed to find something else to occupy his free time while he still had it. Soccer practice would start up again soon, so he at least had that to look forward to, but it just didn’t feel the same without Kazuki there.

Enta stared desperately at the empty half of the room. All he was hoping for was someone who wouldn’t hate him for who he was, someone he wouldn’t have to complain to the dorm manager about. He wouldn’t put himself through the same humiliation again.

Enta’s eyes popped open, startled awake from a nice dream. Someone else was in the room.

His back was turned to Enta as he was bent over a chest of drawers that wasn’t there before. Judging by the open luggage on his bed, he was filling it with clothes.

Enta sat up slowly, words eluding him at such an early hour. He didn’t have his glasses on to read the clock, but just the pink light streaming in from the window told him it was far too early to be awake.

The guy straightened and turned around, then jolted when he saw Enta.

“Sorry—I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Then you shouldn’t be moving in at—” Enta grabbed his clock, holding it close enough to his face to read it. “—6:13 in the morning.” He rubbed his eyes and put on his glasses. “But it’s okay. Since I’m up, do you need any help?”

Now that he could see the guy, Enta realized he recognized him. “Hey, another soccer player!”

“Oh—ye-yeah,” the guy said rubbing the back of his neck.

“Kuji-san, wasn’t it?” Enta got to his feet, stretching. “I’m Jinnai Enta.”

Kuji ducked his head, letting his long hair fall in his face. “I know.” He grabbed a handful of socks from the luggage and turned back around to stuff them in his drawer. “Sorry it’s so early. It was the only time my brother could help me move.”

He sounded oddly intimidated for some reason, which was the last thing Enta expected from a tall guy like him. “So you don’t need my help?”

“Actually…” Kuji glanced over his shoulder. “My desk is still in the hallway. I didn’t want to drag it inside while you were sleeping.”

Enta blinked at him. “Let’s get it in here, then. Your brother already leave?”

“He had work at 6,” Kuji said.

Enta opened their front door, seeing the desk sitting out there. “So you’ve been here a while, then.”

“We got here just after 5:30, so not too long,” Kuji said, going to pick up one side of the desk. Enta grabbed the other, happy it wasn’t terribly heavy. “I thought about just moving all my stuff out here and sitting outside until a more reasonable hour, but I got bored waiting in the hall.”

“You could’ve woken me up,” Enta said.

Kuji raised an eyebrow. “You wouldn’t have hated me on the spot?”

Enta had to laugh. “I guess that wouldn’t be the best first impression, huh? For the record, though, I would’ve gotten over it. I’m pretty laid-back about a lot of things. I might’ve been annoyed at first, but if you’d explained it to me, I would’ve let you off the hook.”

Kuji gave a tiny, shy smile. “Got it.”

They carefully got the desk in place, and Enta went back to sit on his bed while Kuji pulled in his chair.

“So what’s your deal, anyway?” Enta asked.

“My deal?” Kuji was pulling supplies out of a cardboard box and loading them into his desk.

“Your deal,” Enta echoed. “All I know is you’re here on soccer scholarship, and you’re older than me, even though you’re a first-year. Oh, and you’re probably some kind of science or economics major, since you’re in this building.”

“Science,” Kuji said.

“Pre-med?” Enta guessed. A lot of the students on that floor were pre-med, especially the more affluent ones.

Kuji shook his head. “Botany and horticulture.”

Enta had to think about those words for a second before he remembered what they were. “Plants? I didn’t know our school had that kind of program… Let me guess, you chose it hoping it would be easy, so you could focus on soccer?”

“No,” Kuji said quietly. He pulled out a smaller box from his big one and uncovered it, showing Enta a small ceramic pot with some sort of succulent in it.

Enta frowned at it. “You… like plants?”

Kuji nodded, but said nothing else as he put the little plant on his desk.

“Is your family like—farmers, or something?”

“No,” Kuji said.

“Huh.” Well, it wasn’t the weirdest of interests, Enta supposed. Kinda cute, in a way, except that nothing else about Kuji was cute. Even though classes hadn’t started yet, he was dressed in a crisp, button-down dress shirt with a navy jacket and red tie over it. Something about him didn’t match, though. Was it the hair? Kuji wore his loose dark hair over his face, casually brushed off to one side. A sign of rebellion from rich parents, maybe?

Enta couldn’t quite figure him out, but he decided it wasn’t a detriment. “I’m gay, by the way,” he threw out. Better to get it out of the way early.

Kuji frowned at him. Enta stared back, keeping his face blank. Please don’t hate it, please don’t hate it, he chanted in his head.

“If you want to work out a schedule or something, I don’t mind leaving you alone sometimes,” Kuji said, going back to pulling books out of his bulging backpack. “I’d just like to know if you need the room in advance.”

At first, Enta had no idea what to make of such a puzzling response. “Oh, you mean—I don’t have a boyfriend,” he said hastily. “I’m just letting you know, in case…y’know.”

Kuji’s expression changed, as if trying to figure out his own puzzle.

Enta decided to cut across the weird tension and stop talking around it. “Look—my last roommate was an asshole, okay? He didn’t like that I was gay, so I got him transferred to a different floor. You might hear a rumor that I abused my identity to have my own room, but it’s not true. He made my life miserable, so I’m just… putting it out there. I’ll understand if you want to transfer, but I’d recommend doing it soon, since I’ve heard every other room is filling up fast.”

“It’s not a problem,” Kuji said simply, and started lining his books up on his desk.

“Good,” Enta said, hoping Kuji meant it. “Since it’s so early, I think I’ll go for a run and give you some time to settle in.” He was already reaching for his running shoes, since he made it a habit to sleep in his athletic clothes.

“You don’t—have to leave on my account,” Kuji muttered, not looking at Enta.

Enta frowned at him, wondering why he sounded so awkward. “I’ve just got a lot of energy to burn, and the campus is nicer when no one else is up. Oh—don’t let me forget to exchange numbers with you when I get back. It’s nice to meet you, Kuji-san.”

Enta left before Kuji could say anything else. As he hurried down the deserted hallway, he pulled out his phone to text Kazuki to see if he was awake. He knew Kazuki was an early bird, but since classes hadn’t started, there was a chance he was taking the opportunity to sleep in.

Kazuki, it turned out, was awake, and decided to meet Enta outside his building.

“Morning,” Enta greeted him.

“Morning,” Kazuki yawned. “What’s got you up so early?”

“New roommate.”

Kazuki’s eyes widened. “Tell me everything.”

Enta walked with Kazuki down the deserted path that connected the student housing buildings and told him everything he knew. It didn’t take very long.

“So he dresses like a rich kid, plays soccer, and likes plants?” Kazuki asked. “That’s it?”

“Well, I didn’t want to probe him for his life story,” Enta said, kicking a rock out of the way. “I told him I was gay, too, and his response was… weird.”

“Oh no.”

“Not in a bad way, I think,” Enta said hastily. “He started talking about scheduling alone time in the room for some reason. Maybe he thought I was trying to say I had a boyfriend. Anyway, I guess he’s cool with it.”

“The last guy said that, too,” Kazuki reminded him.

“Yeah, but I’m not getting any bad vibes from Kuji-san,” Enta said. “He’s just—I don’t know, a little shy? Which is weird, because he kinda looks like he’s trying to stick out. I don’t really get it.”

“Kuji… why is that name familiar?” Kazuki pulled out his phone. “Do you know his first name?”

“Hm, they said it at the soccer meeting yesterday…” Enta rubbed his forehead, trying to think. “Toda? No… Tomoya? Shit, I can’t think of—”

“Tooi?” Kazuki asked.

Enta’s memory did a little chime at that name. “Yeah, I think so.” He saw Kazuki scrolling through his phone. “Why? Did you find something?”

“Do you remember that team that absolutely slaughtered us in third year?” Kazuki asked. “He was apparently on it. They went on to win Nationals last year.”

Enta whistled. “No wonder he’s got a scholarship, then. I’d better take my training seriously if I’m going to room with a guy like him.”

Kazuki nudged him with his shoulder. “You should be taking it seriously, anyway.”

“Why do you think I’m out here at the crack of dawn?”

“Because you wanted to bug me about your new roommate,” Kazuki said cheekily.

“Yeah, but if you weren’t up, I was going to go for a run, first.” Enta stopped walking and set his legs at a lunge, stretching out his thigh. “Guess I still will.”

“I’ll leave you to it, then,” Kazuki said, patting Enta’s shoulder. “Want to meet for lunch?”

“Sure,” Enta said. “I’ll bring Kuji-san, if he’s up for it.”

“Cool, let me know when,” Kazuki said, and headed back to his dorm.

Kuji, it turned out, wasn’t up for it, as he wasn’t there when Enta returned from his run, nor was he there when Enta came back from his shower. Enta popped in after lunch to find the room still empty, and when he returned from dinner after spending a relaxing afternoon in Kazuki’s room, Kuji still wasn’t there.

If the room weren’t still full of Kuji’s stuff, Enta might’ve thought he dreamed the whole encounter.

Deciding he’d put it off long enough, Enta cracked open his new school planner and started to fill in the details of his schedule, complete with room numbers and contact information of the professors. Kazuki had suggested he start doing so last semester, and Enta had to admit it helped keep him organized. At the very least, it saved him some annoying searches on his phone.

Enta had just finished copying the information when Kuji returned. “Welcome back,” Enta greeted. “What kept you busy all day?”

Kuji froze, staring at Enta with wide eyes.

“Ah—you don’t have to answer,” Enta said hastily, mentally kicking himself for acting so friendly to someone he barely knew. “Just making conversation, ignore me.”

Kuji set his backpack down on his desk, removed his navy jacket, and hung it up in their shared closet, which Enta noticed didn’t have many of Kuji’s clothes in it. All Enta could see were a few hoodies and one additional button-down shirt.

He didn’t know why, but he couldn’t help but feel relieved that Kuji’s wardrobe wasn’t entirely posh clothes. Enta suddenly realized Kuji was untucking and unbuttoning his shirt, and finally had the manners to turn the other way.

When he discreetly glanced back, though, just glimpsing Kuji’s face, he looked like distant, like his thoughts were somewhere else entirely.

Enta went to his desk and pretended to search for something in the drawers until he was sure Kuji had finished changing. When he turned back around, Enta was startled to find Kuji right behind him, dressed in a plain black t-shirt and athletic shorts.

He held up his phone. “You wanted to exchange numbers.”

“Oh! Right, yeah.” Enta scrambled over to his night table and picked up his phone. It chimed when they exchanged profiles, and Kuji’s face popped up on his screen for him to accept.

Enta had the fleeting thought that Kuji was actually kind of cute when he smiled. “Kuji… Tooi?” he asked, pretending he didn’t already know how to read his name.

“Yeah,” Kuji said.

“Cool, thanks,” Enta said. “Don’t worry, I won’t bug you with calls, but it’ll be convenient to have if something comes up.”

Kuji nodded, then landed heavily on his bed, kicking up his long legs and scrolling through what was probably a social media feed.

Enta burned with curiosity that was hard to contain, but the last thing he wanted to do was bother his brand-new roommate when he was just quietly existing.

Eventually, though, the silence got too heavy to bear. “Team meeting again tomorrow,” he said casually. “Did you get the email?”

“Yeah,” Kuji said. “Though they reminded me when I went to see the coach and captain today.”

“Oh? Did the first years have a meeting?”

“Just me.”

Of course, special talent, Enta thought, with just a smidge of bitterness. He couldn’t think of anything else to say about it, so he just worked on getting ready for bed, even though it was early.

“What are your hours?” Enta asked after he’d brushed his teeth and changed. “Are you an early-bird, a night owl? Something in between?”

Kuji frowned, seeming to consider. “I don’t know yet.”

“Any morning classes?”

“Nothing before ten,” Kuji said.

“Kay,” Enta said. “I guess you can’t be too much of a night owl, since we have morning practice twice a week. I don’t care if you stay up late, though, so long as you’re quiet. I haven’t checked if they’re still there yet, but last semester I had some assholes next door who liked to play loud music until 3am.”

“Did you complain?”

“Nah,” Enta said. “I’d already used up my complain points. Didn’t want to make the housing guys hate me more than they already do.” He reached over into the bottom drawer of his nightstand and pulled out his pair of headphones. “My sister owed me some money, so I had her buy me these. They’re noise canceling, so I could sleep through the worst of it. Then I asked around and figured out what classes they were taking, looked up their syllabi to find out when their exams were, and then gave them a nice early wakeup call a few times by pounding loudly on the wall.”

Kuji breathed out a laugh. “Did they complain?”

“Only to me,” Enta said. “I claimed to know nothing about it. Said it must’ve been our asshole neighbor who liked to play music at 3am. That shut them up pretty quick, and I haven’t had any problems with them since then.”

“So… you don’t know any of our neighbors?”

Enta ran a hand through his hair. “Nah. I recognize a few faces, maybe, but—my old roommate? He was pretty popular. He made sure people don’t want to associate with me.”

At seeing Kuji’s concerned frown, Enta started laughing. “Don’t feel sorry for me,” he said. “People leave me alone. And it’s not like I’m friendless—I get along with the soccer team, and I have a couple of friends in other programs.”

Kuji’s frown didn’t disappear at the reassurances, so Enta decided to ignore it. “Speaking of soccer… I heard you were pretty good.”

“I guess,” Kuji sighed.

“You guess? What—do you not like it?”

“That’s not it,” Kuji said. But he turned on his side to face away from Enta, apparently deciding not to explain what “it” was.

“Sorry,” Enta said quietly. “I won’t ask.” He put on his headphones and listened to music for the rest of the night, hoping he could find better footing tomorrow.

Enta found himself awake early again the next morning, so again he went out for a run, this time without bothering Kazuki first. He returned from their floor’s communal showers to find Kuji just then waking up.

“Showers are still empty, if you need one,” Enta said, adjusting his robe.

Kuji yawned and nodded. “Thanks.” He silently got out of bed and started gathering his things.

Enta couldn’t help but notice he didn’t have a robe, only a large towel. Maybe he was planning on returning in the same clothes he was wearing now?

It wasn’t Enta’s business, he reminded himself as he got dressed. He brushed and dried his hair, and was cuffing up his jeans when Kuji returned, wearing nothing but his shower slippers and that towel around his waist.

Enta allowed himself two seconds of gazing before he turned away. Kuji didn’t seem to notice, and clearly he didn’t care if he was comfortable enough to walk around their hall with just a towel on. But on the off chance he didn’t want to be ogled by his gay roommate, Enta kept himself busy while Kuji changed clothes.

What Enta did see, however, wasn’t bad. He had an athletic body—lanky, if a little scrawny in everything but the legs, but that wasn’t unusual for a soccer player. Definitely not unattractive in Enta’s eyes, not that Enta could say he was all that picky about looks.

Enta shook his head. He needed to not think in that direction, especially if they were going to play on the same team. The last thing Enta wanted was to lower morale by making people uncomfortable to be around him. He’d sooner quit the team than deal with that level of humiliation.

“Something wrong?” Kuji asked, likely noticing Enta shaking his head at nothing.

“Nah,” Enta said, brushing it off. “Hey—are you doing anything for lunch today? You have a meal plan, right?” He noticed Kuji was dressed more comfortably today, which was something of a relief.

“Ye-yeah… I mean—I’m not doing anything for lunch.” Kuji fluffed his hair up with his towel. “Why?”

“I have a friend who’s dying to meet you,” Enta said. “We always try to work our schedules to meet up for lunch every day, so if you’d be okay joining us…”

“Why—why would they be dying to meet me?”

Enta thought about the best way to phrase it. “Hmm… Curiosity, I guess? If there are other friends you’d rather eat with, you don’t have to stick around too long. He just wanted to meet you.”

Tooi turned away, picking up his phone. “Okay.”

After the meeting with the soccer team, which was mostly repeat information for Enta about training structures and expectations, Enta walked with Kuji to the cafeteria. He burned with questions, but Kuji looked so lost in thought that Enta was afraid of annoying him via interruption.

As they entered, Kazuki waved from a table for four, at which he already sat with a small girl dressed in dark, frilly, doll-like clothing. Enta waved back and headed over there, Kuji close behind.

“Shia-chan, you made it today!” Enta greeted cheerfully. “You look adorable.”

She smiled shyly. “Thank you, Enta-kun.”

“So—” Enta gestured to Kuji. “This is my new roommate Kuji Tooi, a first year. Kuji-san, this is Yasaka Kazuki, and his roommate Shia-chan.”

Kazuki held up a hand. “Yo.”

Shia inclined her head. “Nice to meet you,” she said politely in her soft, airy voice.

“Nice—nice to meet you,” Kuji said, bowing.

“Are you joining us for lunch, Kuji-san?” Kazuki asked. “Or do you have other friends you’d rather sit with?”

“I—don’t,” Kuji said stiffly. “I’ll sit here. If that’s okay.”

Kazuki gave him his most charming smile, the one that could still make Enta’s heart flutter. “Please do.”

Kuji stuck close to Enta as they surveyed the lunch options, and ended up ordering the same ramen set as him. While they waited, Enta snuck a glance up at Kuji and saw he looked rather pale.

“Are you okay?” Enta asked.

Kuji blinked, seeming to snap out of it. “Yeah.”

“Worried about the training schedules?” Enta guessed. “They’re pretty brutal here, but trust me when I say everyone gets used to it pretty quick. We only had a couple of dropouts last year.”

Kuji only swallowed, not answering. Enta felt that he might’ve guessed wrong, but had no way of knowing when Kuji refused to say anything.

When they sat down with their food, Shia-chan stood up. “Sorry to leave suddenly, but I have a phone call to make,” she said.

“Aw, that’s alright,” Kazuki said. “I’ll see you back at the room, later.”

She nodded. “It was nice to meet you, Kuji-san.”

Kuji seemed to make some attempt at a smile and nodded his head.

“So, Kuji-san… How are you liking the school so far?” Kazuki asked. “I know you’ve barely been here a full day, but is there anything that stands out to you? Anything you hate?”

Kuji lowered his head, looking down into his ramen bowl. “It’s nice. The trees are really pretty.”

Kazuki blinked, then broke into a grin. “They are this time of year, aren’t they? You’re lucky—last year there was a storm right before school started, so all the petals had fallen before we got here. Had you visited this campus before you enrolled?”

Kuji shook his head. “I couldn’t find time. I didn’t have much of a break between graduating and coming here. Since they didn’t hold exams here…”

“They made you take an exam?” Enta asked. “Weren’t you invited on a scholarship?”

“They still have to make sure you’re competent enough to get accepted,” Kazuki said. “Though I’m sure they’re a little more lenient on scores.”

“So you came here totally blind?” Enta asked.

Kuji looked aside. “I checked the website…”

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t immediately hate it,” Kazuki laughed. “We have a pretty good soccer team, at least. And the food’s not bad.”

“My only real complaint is the campus layout,” Enta said. “Some classes are so far from everything else. The Mitsuha building, especially. I considered buying a bike my first semester.”

“I have one,” Kuji said. “My brother is bringing it tomorrow. If you ever need to borrow it...”

Enta waved his hand. “No, no, no, I don’t deserve to be trusted with something like that,” he laughed. “But depending on your schedule, you might be glad to have it.”

While Enta dug his way through his noodles, Kazuki informed Kuji of some of the more charming aspects of the school, including the movie nights and some of the more interesting clubs. Kazuki cast his social net far wider than Enta, so he had more insider knowledge.

Enta got up to go to the toilet, and when he returned, Kazuki was standing next to Kuji, saying something that seemed to have Kuji’s full attention. Enta lingered at the corner for a moment, wondering if he could figure out what they were talking about, but there was no way he could approach without being noticed.

He let them have their moment, whatever it was, and made himself noticeable as he approached. “What’d I miss?”

Kazuki smiled. “Just telling Kuji-san about the off-campus bath houses nearby, in case he wants something other than a shower. Do you two want to come with me while I figure out where all my classes are? We can do yours, too.”

So the three of them went off on a long journey across campus showing Kuji where all the buildings were, and going inside when Kazuki claimed there was something cool, or when he wanted to point out a relevant shortcut. Despite spending a lot of free time together over the past year, Enta really found himself in awe of Kazuki’s breadth of knowledge and appreciation of the school.

When they finished, they bought soda from the vending machine outside of the cafeteria and wandered slowly around the grounds near the residential halls.

“So what—what made you two want to come here?” Kuji asked. He hadn’t said much all afternoon, so it was nice to hear him start a conversation.

“Soccer,” Enta and Kazuki answered together.

“The team recruited me,” Kazuki said. “I was on a scholarship, like you.”

Enta nodded. “And I followed him here.”

Kuji looked at Kazuki. “But you’re not…”

Kazuki stopped walking and lifted up his leg, pulling up his pant leg to show the angry red scar running along his left calf. Enta winced to see it again. “My first game, this happened. Tore up everything. They said I might be able to play again, but even with therapy, I couldn’t recover enough of my mobility. So, I gave it up.”

Kuji frowned. “I’m sorry…”

Kazuki shook his head, smiling. “It’s fine. My mind used to be full of nothing but soccer, so in a way it was sort of freeing. I still go to cheer on Enta, though.”

“Cheer me on?” Enta laughed. “I’ve only been in one game.”

“But I—I thought you were on the starting team,” Kuji said.

“They considered me since we had so many graduates last year, but I lost out to another second-year,” Enta said. “It’s fine, though. We have a really good team. Where’d you get the idea I was a starter?”

Kuji looked aside. “The captain said something… But I guess I misunderstood.”

“Who’s captain again?” Kazuki asked. “Was it Enohara?”

“Yeah,” Enta said. “He’s not always super clear, so I can see how Kuji-san might’ve been confused.”

Kuji went quiet again while Kazuki and Enta carried on about the changes to the lineup since Kazuki left, and what they knew about the players who remained. Eventually, they’d wasted enough time that the cafeteria opened for dinner, and they continued their conversation over a light meal.

Enta and Kazuki tried their best to get Kuji to join in by asking questions, but after a string of very short answers, Enta got the sense he didn’t want to talk. He didn’t seem eager to leave, though, and when Kazuki announced he was going to prepare for his classes the next day and head to bed early, Enta thought he saw some disappointment on Kuji’s face.

Enta couldn’t blame him. Kazuki was easy to like.

Back in the room, Kuji sat on his bed with his phone while Enta double-checked his schedule for the next day and idly flipped through his textbook for economics, his first class. It seemed irredeemably dry, though—not nearly interesting enough to read ahead.

“Um,” Kuji said into the silence. Well, not complete silence—Enta had been humming. “About Shia-chan…”

Enta sat up, giving Kuji his full attention. “What about her?”

“I thought the residence halls were all single-sex,” Kuji said. “At first I wondered if they lived off campus, but Yasaka-senpai is in the Liberal Arts section, isn’t he?”

“Mm, yeah,” Enta said. He’d wondered if Kuji were observant enough to catch that. Thankfully, he also seemed polite enough not to bring it up in public. “Shia-chan’s a girl, but the university recognizes her as a boy. She says she’s lucky that she ended up with a roommate like Kazuki, when a girl roommate might not be so accepting.”

“Oh.” Kuji frowned. “I had no idea…”

“She’s cute, isn’t she?” Enta teased.

Kuji blushed faintly. “I—I wasn’t—I mean, she is, but…” He shook his head, looking down at his lap. “I was just curious.”

Enta smiled shakily. “You’re not going to give her any problems, are you? I’m only telling you this because I trust you.”

“No, not at all,” Kuji said firmly. “I just wanted to understand.”

“Kazuki… is very protective of her,” Enta said, looking down at his socks. “And I think, because he’s so friendly and popular, people are willing to leave them alone, even the staff.” He sighed. “I just hope things can stay that way. She’s really sensitive, and if she got half the shit I had to deal with last semester, I’m afraid she’d drop out.”

“What… did you have to deal with?”

Enta waved his hand, wishing he hadn’t said anything. “I don’t want to go into it. But Shia-chan is probably fine—most of what I got was because I’m a loudmouth who can’t let things go.” He groaned and stretched out on his bed, falling onto his back. “I know better now, though, so I’ll try not to let any of my shit get in your way.”

Kuji didn’t respond. Enta thought it better to leave it there.

The next day, Kuji was back to wearing his navy jacket and tie. Enta had his first class in the morning, so he missed Kuji’s brother delivering his bicycle, but found him outside locking it in their covered bike rack after class.

It was clearly old. Well-worn, but sturdy—not at all what Enta expected from a rich kid. Enta was about to approach to ask Kuji if he wanted to join him for lunch when a group of three guys showed up and struck up a conversation. They must not have seen Enta, obscured as he was by the bushes, so Enta hid himself a little better to see if he could hear what they were saying.

“Y’know, our room has an empty bed,” one of the guys said. “If you don’t want to share with that Jinnai kid.”

Kuji, who had knelt down to work with his bike lock, looked up at the guy who was speaking. “Yeah?”

“Yeah, we had a no-show,” one of the other guys said. “I don’t know if he’s said anything or done anything, but that Jinnai kid is weird and annoying. You’d be better off in our room.”

“Weird how?” Kuji asked, straightening. The first guy’s body language immediately changed, clearly a little intimidated by Kuji’s height.

“He’s gay,” the first one said bluntly.

Kuji raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, and?”

“He’ll ogle you,” the second one blurted. “Go through your laundry and sniff your underwear.”

Enta’s head went hot. It wasn’t entirely a lie—he’d been something of a secret deviant in middle school—but there was absolutely no way they’d know that. He’d done nothing like it since starting high school.

They must’ve been some of that crowd.

“I heard he hides gay porn under his bed,” said the third one, who hadn’t yet spoken.

“It’s none of my business if he does,” Kuji said. “How’s it any different than hiding straight porn?”

“You’re just gonna ignore the underwear thing?” the first one asked.

Kuji shrugged. “How would I know if he did? How would you know? Sounds like you’re making up shit.”

“Ask Shirogane on the third floor,” the first one said. “He’ll tell you what happened with him last year, and then you can decide if you want to stick with Jinnai.”

The second one folded his arms. “Or you can wait until Jinnai makes up some bullshit and gets you kicked out,” he said. “By then, though, our extra bed will probably be taken, and they’ll cram you in with someone else.”

Kuji frowned at the three of them in turn. “Thanks for the warning, but I’ll take my chances.”

“Come on, man—don’t tell me you actually want to room with him?”

Enta couldn’t listen to any more. Furious tears pooled in his eyes, loosening and streaming down his cheeks as he scrunched his face up and ran away to the only safe place he could think of.

Thankfully, Kazuki was there, already back from his morning class. “Enta, what’s wrong?”

Enta walked into the room, but stopped when he saw Shia-chan sitting on her bed. “Sorry, Shia-chan.”

“It’s okay, I’m just leaving,” she said. Her clothes were considerably less doll-like today, but still decidedly feminine, with a lacy cream-colored blouse tucked into a long blue skirt. She slung a bag over her shoulder as she made for the door. “Whatever it is, I hope you feel better, Enta-kun.”

He tried to give her a smile. “I’ll be fine, thank you.”

Once she was gone, Enta threw himself into Kazuki’s arms, needing his hug.

“What happened?” Kazuki asked gently. “First class not go well?”

“It’s not that,” Enta said in a watery voice. “Kuji-san…”

Kazuki stiffened. “What did he do? Do I need to go yell at him?”

“No.” Enta pulled away to wipe his eyes. “He got approached by three guys—I don’t know who they were, I wasn’t close enough to see their faces. But they tried to warn him away from me, bringing back all those dumb rumors about me from last year.”

“And what did he say?”

“He—accused them of making shit up. But they weren’t giving up on trying to convince him. They even told him to talk to Shirogane.”

Kazuki frowned. “I’m going to go talk to Kuji-san. Do you think he’s still there?”

“Don’t, Kazuki—please.”

“Enta, he should know the truth,” Kazuki said. “I don’t think he’s going to change his mind about you from some random people, but he should know where the rumors are coming from.”

The thought of Kuji knowing everything mortified Enta. “I—I’ll explain if it comes up again. Please don’t tell him.”

Kazuki hung his head. “Enta—I love you, but you need to get over your shame about this. It wasn’t your fault, okay? He was an asshole, simple as that. Anyone who knew the truth would agree you were in the right.”

“I know that,” Enta said, though he knew he sounded unconvincing. “Look, just—ignore it for now. Do you mind if I stay here until my afternoon class?”

“Enta…” He sounded like he had more to say, but instead just sighed. “Yeah, of course you can. Shia-chan won’t be back until after dinner.”

“Thanks.” Enta fell onto Kazuki’s bed and curled up into a miserable ball. He felt Kazuki sit on the bed behind him.

“Kuji-san is a good guy,” Kazuki said, gently stroking Enta’s hair. “I think you got lucky with him.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I was talking to him yesterday while you were in the toilet, and I asked him about his first impression of you. His answer surprised me.”

Enta turned onto his back to see Kazuki’s face. “Wh-what did he say?” he asked, intensely curious.

Kazuki smiled, crawling on top of Enta. “He said you seemed friendly and kind, which I already know you are. But he also said he wished he’d made a better impression on you. He felt like he might’ve been rude to you, since he’s not great at talking.” He nuzzled Enta’s neck, making him tingle with the intimacy. “He sensed you were trying to be friendly, but I think he’s shy. I don’t think he has any other friends here, either.”

“He never mentioned any to me,” Enta said. “But you really think he’s shy? I just figured he was just uninterested in my rambling.”

“Yesterday, I got the impression you have to talk to him just right to get him to say much,” Kazuki said. “Maybe even be a little persistent. I’ll have to do more research. But I know you were trying not to come on too strongly.”

“Yeah…” Enta didn’t want to make that mistake more than once. “I don’t know. I don’t think Kuji-san will listen to those guys, but what if he talks to Shirogane?”

Kazuki sighed again and rolled off of Enta, laying on his back beside him. “That’s why you talk to him first. Let him know your side. You don’t even have to give all the details if you don’t want to, but I think you’re doing him a disservice by not letting him know what he’s fallen into the middle of.”

Enta knew Kazuki had a point. “I don’t know if I can talk about it…”

“Then let me do it,” Kazuki said. He slipped his hand into Enta’s. “Or let me help you.”

Enta closed his eyes and exhaled, squeezing Kazuki’s hand. “No, I should do it alone. I was really hoping I wouldn’t have to, though. Not like this.”

Kazuki squeezed back. “I know.”

“I barely know him,” Enta said. “I’ll be dumping all of this emotional baggage on him out of nowhere, just so he’ll know I’m not—out to get him, or whatever he’ll think about it.”

“Even if you didn’t tell him, I’m sure he wouldn’t think that,” Kazuki said. He kissed Enta’s cheek. “I need to get moving if I’m going to grab lunch before class. Should I bring you something on my way?”

“Nah, I’ll grab a snack later,” Enta said. Kazuki tried to get up, but Enta still held his hand. “Thank you,” he said before releasing him.

Kazuki smiled warmly. “You know I’ll always be in your corner, Enta. We’re the Golden Duo, remember?”

Enta stayed there for a while, doing little else but stare at Kazuki and Shia-chan’s room. They’d decorated more since last semester. There were more framed photos on the walls, and sitting atop their shared chest of drawers was a vase of fresh flowers. It could’ve belonged to either of them, really—Enta knew Kazuki liked flowers.

It was a nice environment, clearly occupied by people who were comfortable living here.

Could Kuji be as comfortable living with Enta?

It was a strange thought to have about someone he’d just met. Enta shook his head, chalking it up to his desire to simply have some stability in his life.

Once he got bored enough to leave, Enta stopped by the cafeteria to grab a protein bar before using the toilet in his own room. Kuji thankfully wasn’t around. Enta didn’t see him until later that night, and he fretted ceaselessly in silence, wondering how to breach the subject.

It didn’t happen. They went to bed early on account of having soccer practice the next morning, and Enta resigned himself to bring it up again some other time.

At soccer practice, without even playing a game, Kuji already showed that he was on another level than most of the team. Enta watched his footwork with envy and pride, feeling nostalgic to see it for some reason. It took a couple hours’ worth of observation before he realized why.

Kuji moved like Kazuki. Something about his instincts, his concentration—Enta couldn’t quite put a finger on it, but he knew something was very similar. Too similar to be a coincidence.

Enta mentioned it to Kazuki later that day at lunch.

“Maybe he’s a fan of Lionel Kappa,” Kazuki suggested. “We used to mimic him a lot.”

“I hadn’t thought of that,” Enta said. “You were always better at it than me. I couldn’t move like him.”

“You had to find your own way,” Kazuki said. “We all do, sooner or later.”

Enta wasn’t going to argue with his platitudes. They both knew Enta simply wasn’t as athletically talented. He worked best in supporting roles, but even then, he played with people who were better than him at filling those roles.

“Did you talk to Kuji yet?” Kazuki asked.

“It didn’t come up,” Enta said miserably. “I couldn’t… bring it up, either.”

Kazuki frowned. “Enta—”

“I’ll tell him, okay? Just not right now.”

“When, then?” Kazuki demanded. “Kuji is going to get the wrong impression if you’re hiding something from him.”

Enta pinched his face shut, just the thought of it making his chest hurt. “Soon, okay?”

“Soon?”

“Soon.”

“Tonight,” Kazuki suggested.

“Fine, tonight,” Enta resigned. “But if he hates me after he hears it all, I’m sleeping with you.”

“He won’t.”

“If he does.”

“Okay,” Kazuki agreed. “But he won’t.” He reached across the table, squeezing Enta’s arm affectionately. “Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you? Or tell him for you?”

Enta could admit it was tempting, but… “I should do it myself.”

“Okay,” Kazuki said. “But call me the minute you need me, and I’ll come right over.”

It was all Enta could think about for the rest of the day, which wasn’t at all fair to his statistics course.

Enta knew it was for the best. If Kuji was going to hate him, better to know it now than after they’d been friends.

But Enta didn’t want Kuji to hate him. He wanted to know him better, to become friends. To have that sort of easy comfort that Kazuki and Shia-chan shared. Enta couldn’t take Kazuki’s reassurances at face value—he’d be nervous until he knew the truth.

When he went back to the room that evening, intending to just drop off his bag and wash his face before going to the cafeteria, he found Kuji already there.

Standing in the doorway.

Talking to Shirogane.

There was no way he could listen without being noticed this time. In fact, he was already too close. His choices were to run away, or run head first into it.

Naturally, he chose the latter. “Hey, Shirogane,” Enta drawled. “What brings you back up here? Leave something behind?”

Shirogane—a tall, broad, fellow second-year—looked taken-aback by Enta’s casual tone. “Just thought I’d give a warning to your roommate some of your less than savory habits.”

“You mean the ones you made up out of thin air?” Enta asked quietly. “The ones you used as a cover so you wouldn’t have to admit you assaulted me?”

Shirogane glared, arms moving like he was going to grab Enta. “You little shit, I did not—”

Kuji stepped in front of Enta.

Enta should have been grateful and kept quiet, but Kuji’s protection emboldened him. “Just admit you like dudes, Shirogane. It’s not that hard. Anyone with a brain won’t give a shit, and you can easily weed out all of your fake friends who don’t actually care about you. It’s win-win.”

Shirogane, his face a furious red, tried to charge forward, but was again stopped by Kuji grabbing a fistful of his shirt.

“Let go of me, first-year,” Shirogane seethed. He was a baseball player with a thicker upper body than Kuji, but he must’ve felt some real strength if he wasn’t willing to try to shove him aside.

“Leave,” Kuji said calmly.

“I can’t just let him talk shit like that!” Shirogane sputtered, clearly off-balance.

“You can, and you will,” Kuji said. “Jinnai-senpai, please go inside.”

Enta couldn’t help taunting Shirogane by making a rude face, but in the end he did as he was told. He lingered by the door, though, listening.

“You and your friends need to leave us alone,” Kuji said, still eerily calm. “I don’t want to have to complain about this.”

“Jeez, I was just giving you a friendly warning,” Shirogane said. “You must be like him.”

“The hell does it matter if I am? It’s not your business, or anyone’s. I can take care of myself, so fuck off with your ‘warnings.’” There was a low growl to his voice, a sound that made Enta’s insides hum.

Oh no. Stop that, right now! Enta scolded himself. It’s not the time for that!

Shirogane muttered something Enta couldn’t hear through the door. Kuji gave a short, cold laugh. “You don’t scare me. Mess with us again, and I’ll make your life a living hell—got it? Now get the fuck out of here.” Kuji came back into the room shut the door.

Enta went to his bed, dropping down his bag and sitting on the edge. “I’m really—”

Kuji held up a hand to silence him. He lingered by the door, listening, then eased it open again to stick his head out. He closed it again and locked it with a sigh.

“I’m really sorry,” Enta tried again, quieter this time. “Getting you involved in all of this… I thought they’d leave us alone.”

“It’s alright,” Kuji said, sitting on his own bed and facing Enta. “He’s not the first who tried to warn me.”

Enta nodded miserably. “I overheard some guys yesterday trying to persuade you to transfer to their room.”

“They weren’t the first, either,” Kuji said. “The housing guy told me about your situation. He wasn’t trying to warn me away from you, but he said you’d had some problems and it might put a target on me. I didn’t care then, and I still don’t.”

“Why not, though?” Enta asked. “It’s such an unnecessary pain in the ass.”

Kuji shrugged, looking aside. “I thought we’d get along, since we’re both on the soccer team.”

Enta couldn’t help but flush. “What—what all did they warn you about?”

“Nothing that would bother me even if it were true, not that I believe it in the first place,” Kuji said. “They just had a lot of fancy ways of calling you a pervert, which to me just sounds like they don’t like you for being gay.”

“To be fair to them, I joked about a lot of that stuff when they were harassing me last year,” Enta said. “I was threatening them with the things they were accusing me of—sometimes even escalating it to sound more gross. So it’s not like it comes from nowhere, but I never actually did any of it. But Shirogane—I didn’t actually expect him to talk to you directly. That took balls.”

Kuji met his eyes. “Can—can I ask again what happened? I really just want to understand where it’s all coming from.”

Enta nodded. “I knew I needed to tell you yesterday, but I chickened out. It was all just—stupid, and embarrassing, and I really wanted to forget it happened. But I guess it’s like this:  Shirogane was my roommate from the beginning of the school year. I used to think he was pretty cool—we were both athletes, and sometimes we’d bicker about soccer or baseball being the better sport. Lighthearted stuff. I eventually told him I was gay, and he was fine with it, so I thought we’d just continue being good friends.

“But last summer, he started getting weird. He got invasive, asking me personal questions, going through my stuff without my permission... He dug up a porn magazine I had under my mattress and jizzed on it, and when I confronted him he violently denied it, throwing a book at me from across the room. He’d jerk off audibly in his bed after hours, even when he knew I wasn’t asleep. One night, he asked me to suck his dick for him. I told him no, but he eventually talked me into it. I don’t know what I was thinking—maybe that if he had some confirmation that he liked guys, he might calm down? It didn’t work that way, though. When he finished, he went cold, and wouldn’t talk to me for days. I eventually had enough, and we had a big fight about it. I said he was in denial. He said I was trying to turn him gay. It ended with him punching me in the face, and me taking that massive black eye to the housing office and demanding he get moved to a different room.”

“Holy shit,” Kuji whispered.

Enta laughed dryly. “Yeah. So he got kicked out to another floor, and it’s not like his friends wouldn’t ask what happened. He lied to them about how I was a pervert who just wanted my own room. He said I came on to him and wouldn’t leave him alone, so he reflexively punched me. We were brought into the councilor’s office and I corroborated his story that it was an accident, because I really just wanted it to all end there. He apologized to me, and I honestly think he meant it at the time.”

“Wait—you didn’t tell them the truth?”

Enta sighed. “You sound just like Kazuki. No, I didn’t tell them the truth. I wasn’t going to out someone, even someone I hated. I saw a lot of hurt and confusion in him, stuff I recognized from how I felt, years ago. And despite him hurting me and being weird, I really don’t think he’s a bad guy. Kazuki disagrees and thinks I should’ve escalated it, possibly even gotten him kicked out for sexual harassment, but I didn’t want to ruin his life over this.”

Kuji frowned. “So if he knows the truth, why is he harassing you over this?”

“He wasn’t really, not last semester, anyway,” Enta said. “It was his friends. They bought into his lie, and they probably thought I deserved more punishment than just a punch in the face. Well, it’s not like I ever acted like I was innocent. I even taunted them into it, sometimes. I just really didn’t expect him to come after you. He had to know that I’d tell you my side.”

“Maybe he hoped to persuade me before you did,” Kuji said.

“Probably didn’t expect you’d threaten him over it,” Enta said with a helpless laugh. “Thank you, by the way. You really didn’t have to defend me like that.”

“It was clear he didn’t really believe everything he was saying,” Kuji said. “The guys yesterday might’ve said stuff that sounded like bullshit, but at least they were convinced it was the truth. Shirogane sounded like he was lying from the start.”

“It wouldn’t surprise me if his friends put him up to it,” Enta said. “Probably goaded him into it after you didn’t believe them yesterday.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I am sorry they dragged you into this. I know you don’t care, but it really shouldn’t be your problem.”

Kuji’s face scrunched up, like he was trying to think of something difficult. “I care, and it is my problem. You’re my roommate, but more importantly, you’re my teammate.”

Enta tilted his head. “Even though we barely know each other?”

Kuji stood and busied himself with something on his desk. “That shouldn’t—shouldn’t matter. You deserve to have someone on your side.”

“Well, I’ve always had Kazuki,” Enta said. “But I won’t say no to another ally. Are you sure, though? Tonight might not be the last time. They’ll probably start rumors that we’re dating.” He’d almost said a cruder word, but he didn’t need to scare Kuji more than he likely already was.

Just as Enta expected, Kuji went stiff. “So—so what if they say that? Would you be embarrassed about it?”

“No, but…”

“Then why should I be?”

Enta bit down the impulse to argue. Kuji didn’t need to be given a laundry list of things he might find embarrassing about Enta—not now, anyway. He sighed. “I don’t think anyone can say you haven’t been fairly warned, so I’ll just say this:  you’re allowed to leave. If it gets to be too much for you, or you start to fear for your reputation, or your future opportunities, or worse—I won’t be offended if you decide to leave me behind. I lost friends last year, and I got over it, so don’t feel too bad if that’s the sort of decision you have to make. I think you’re a good guy, and crazy talented, and I wouldn’t be happy if I knew I stood in the way of better things for you.” He stood up and went to the door, giving Kuji a pat on the back as he walked past. “I’m going to dinner, and I’ll probably hang out with Kazuki afterward, so I’ll be back kind of late.”

He didn’t stick around for a response. Good or bad, Enta knew he probably couldn’t handle hearing it.

“Sorry to keep monopolizing your time,” Enta told Kazuki after dinner. They were huddled together on a bench near the pond outside of the cafeteria, trying to keep warm from the cool breeze of early April. Petals littered the water’s surface, making Enta wish he were in a more romantic mood.

“That’s not something you should apologize for,” Kazuki said. “My friend needs me, I’m going to be there for him. I know you’d do the same for me.”

“I feel like I’ve leaned so heavily on you, this past year,” Enta said. “It’s one-sided.”

“Are you intentionally forgetting how much you did for me after my injury?” Kazuki asked. “And I never hate spending time with you. You have to know that by now.”

“I know,” Enta said. “But I also know I’m taking you away from Shia-chan.”

“Shia-chan likes to be alone, sometimes,” Kazuki said diplomatically.

“But I know you like her.”

Kazuki stiffened.

“You think I wouldn’t notice?” Enta teased lightly. “Don’t worry—I’m not going to try and get you to talk about it. I’m sure your feelings are complicated, and I won’t pry. I just don’t want my problems to take priority over your feelings all the time.”

“If my friend is hurting, it’s important I help them feel better,” Kazuki said. “Whether it’s you or Shia-chan. She doesn’t need me right now, but you do.”

Enta stretched out his arms. “Would be nice if things could just go back to normal and I can just call you to hang out, rather than have an emotional breakdown every time.”

“I’m sure things will calm down soon,” Kazuki said. “It seems like Kuji-san’s going to look out for you.”

Enta groaned. “I really wish he didn’t have to. Imagine starting your promising university years having to defend your gay roommate.”

“I imagine he wouldn’t if he didn’t want to,” Kazuki said. “Let him. And maybe, if you feel so bad about calling on me all the time, you should try talking to him.”

Enta gave him an incredulous look.

Kazuki raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Nothing,” Enta decided. “I don’t have an argument. You’re right.”

Kazuki laughed, nudging him. “Give Kuji-san a chance. From what you told me, he might even like you.”

Enta’s thoughts made a screeching noise as they came to a halt. “Absolutely not. No way. There’s no reason he would like me! I’ve been nothing but a weird annoyance!”

Kazuki leaned back. “My hunch isn’t strong enough to argue with you about it,” he said. “But I won’t be surprised if there’s something else there. At the very least, I think he wants to be your friend.”

“I guess I got that vibe, too,” Enta allowed. “He willingly spent the whole day with us, day before yesterday.”

“Oh, and make sure he’s not getting singled out too much in practice,” Kazuki said. “You remember what it was like for me.”

Enta bit his lip. “I hadn’t thought of that, but—yeah, I’ll keep an eye out.”

Kazuki stood and stretched, then offered his hands to Enta. Enta took them and was pulled into a warm hug. “You’ll be okay,” Kazuki said softly. “You’re not alone, here.”

Enta closed his eyes, breathing in the sweet scent of his best friend. “I know. Thank you, Kazuki.”

Kazuki pulled away and smiled. “Go talk with Kuji-san. Ask him how his first day of classes went. I’m going to go let Shia-chan warm me up.”

Enta gaped at him.

Kazuki grinned. “What? There’s no sense in hiding it if you already know.”

“Do you—kiss and stuff, too?” Enta asked as they headed back to their dorms.

“Nah, we just like to cuddle,” Kazuki said casually. “I sleep beside her sometimes. I think she likes the uncomplicated affection, since she doesn’t really know what she wants.” He gave Enta a sidelong glance. “Don’t tell anyone, okay? I don’t care if people know, but she does.”

“I won’t say anything,” Enta promised.

Enta returned to his dorm in a thoughtful mood. He never thought very hard about Kazuki getting close to other people, but now that he knew the truth, he felt conflicted. Of course a part of him was jealous, as Kazuki had always been his best friend, but he couldn’t deny how happy he was to know that Kazuki found happiness somewhere else, too.

Kuji was at his desk on his laptop when Enta returned.

“I’m back,” Enta announced in a neutral tone.

“Welcome back,” Kuji greeted. “How is Yasaka-senpai?”

Enta laughed. “You know, I was whining so much I didn’t ask much about him. But I think he’s doing well. How about you? How was your first day of classes?”

They chatted for a bit about the mundane-ness of first-day classes, then about soccer. It wasn’t until there was a lull in the conversation before Enta gathered the courage to bring up what happened earlier.

“I don’t think I properly thanked you for what you did for me,” Enta said, fidgeting with the blanket as he perched on his bed. “Even if I said it, it probably wasn’t enough. I was just—taken aback by how firmly you told him off.”

“It doesn’t take much to tell off jerks,” Kuji said nonchalantly, eyes still on his laptop.

“Still—thanks. I didn’t know I’d get such a good guy as a roommate, but I’m grateful I did.”

Kuji’s cheeks went faintly red at that.  

“Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help you, okay?”

Kuji frowned. “Maybe you can help me figure out this decrepit website. I can’t find my student profile.”

Enta laughed and went over. “This thing’s a pain in the ass, and they refuse to fix it. Here, I’ll show you how to navigate.”

The first week passed without further incident as everyone started to adjust to their schedules. Enta had taken to inviting Kuji to eat with him and Kazuki on a regular basis, though Kuji’s Thursdays were too busy to share lunch or dinner. Shia-chan often joined them but rarely stayed long, as she preferred the quiet of the library to the noise of the cafeteria.

Enta could now say with confidence that he’d lucked out with Kuji. His first impression of him being a cool guy turned out to be true, once they got past the awkwardness of the first week. Kuji was an incredible soccer player, but humble, and seemed unfazed by the coach’s incessant praise of him. He was more interested in getting to know the rest of the team, especially his fellow first-years, than listening to the coach and captain fawn over how good the team would be now that they’d found a suitable replacement for Kazuki. Even the third- and fourth-years begrudgingly started to like him, once they accepted he wasn’t threatening their seniority.

Enta had to admire him. He thought he’d be jealous, or maybe even a little resentful, especially after hearing multiple people compare him to Kazuki. But Kuji was too down to earth, too humble and kind for Enta to muster even a crumb of ill will towards him. It was frustrating, in a way, but Enta couldn’t ask for anything different.

“You like watching him,” Kazuki teased one Thursday at lunch, three weeks after the semester started.

“Huh?”

“Every time I see you and he’s not around, you’re talking about how good he is,” Kazuki said. “I’m just saying—you must like watching him if you have this much to say about him.”

“I—I watch everyone!” Enta insisted.

“Uh huh,” Kazuki said. “And what’s your commentary on the ones not named Kuji?”

Enta muttered something even he didn’t understand, taking a drink from his water cup.

Kazuki cupped his ear. “Huh? What was that?”

“I said shut up and leave me alone!” Enta spat, though without any venom behind it. He knew what Kazuki said had some truth to it.

Kazuki smiled, regarding Enta with a curious look. “Do you like him?”

“No.”

“Enta.”

“I don’t,” Enta said. “He’s too cool for someone like me.”

“I don’t think one precludes the other,” Kazuki said. “You can like him and think he’s too cool at the same time. In fact, I’d say it’s likely both are true.”

“I feel like ‘like’ is too much,” Enta said. “I like being his friend. He’s easy to talk to.”

“I’m not saying it’s out of the question that someone might gush about how fast or good at control a friend is,” Kazuki said. “But for you, I think it’s likely there’s something else there. I’m only mentioning it in case you haven’t noticed—if you have, and you just don’t want to talk about it, I’ll drop it.”

Enta gave him a sour look. Either he could admit Kazuki had a point, or he could drop the subject—and basically admit that he’d thought about it before. Which was the truth, but Kazuki didn’t have to know that.

Who was Enta kidding? Kazuki had known him long enough that he already had him figured out.

“What do you want for your birthday?” Enta asked.

Kazuki covered his mouth to hold back a laugh. “Okay, good move.”

Enta raised his eyebrows expectantly.

“Hmm… a gift from Enta…” Kazuki genuinely seemed to think about it. “Something… sentimental. Something where you saw it and thought of me, somehow. Bonus points if I can wear it or display it in my room.”

Kazuki had to know it’d be a challenge for Enta, who preferred to give practical things. “Okay…” Enta agreed reluctantly. “I can probably handle that.”

“I know you’ll do well,” Kazuki said encouragingly. “I don’t think I’ll do anything crazy this year, but I’d like to go out to dinner that weekend with you, Kuji-san, and Shia-chan, if you’re available.”

“You know I wouldn’t miss it,” Enta said. “Are you going to see your family?”

Kazuki lowered his eyes. “I haven’t decided yet. I want to introduce Shia-chan to Haruka, but I don’t think I can manage that without seeing my parents, too. It would be too complicated to explain that she’s not my girlfriend, and I think she’d be uncomfortable with the sort of questions that go along with that. Haruka, at least, already knows about her being my roommate.”

Enta gave him a sympathetic smile. “I guess it’s pretty tough, huh?”

“I’m probably making it into a bigger deal than I should be,” Kazuki said. “And who’s to say my parents wouldn’t understand? I’m just—terrified of the rift it would cause if they didn’t accept her.”

“Your parents have always been remarkably kind people,” Enta reminded him. “Especially to me. I think if they saw how important she is to you, they’d accept her, even if they don’t fully understand.”

Kazuki frowned at his mug of tea. Enta reached over to touch his wrist.

“I get why you’re scared,” Enta said. “You can go at your own pace. Maybe test the waters before you introduce her? Bring up the subject with Haruka around, so you’ll have an ally.”

“I’m not even the one who’s supposed to be scared,” Kazuki said with a pained smile. He shook his head. “It’s not worth worrying about right now. Thanks, though.”

“I’m surprised Shia-chan wants to meet your brother,” Enta said.

“She’s heard me talk about him too much to not be curious,” Kazuki said, laughing a little. “But I was surprised, too. I expected things to stay the same between us for a long time. I was fine with that.”

“But it makes you happy she wants to be closer?”

Kazuki ducked his head, hiding a big, dumb smile.

“Cute,” Enta teased.

When Enta saw Kuji that night, he came in through the door looking exhausted, immediately falling face-first onto his bed.

“Rough day?” Enta asked.

Kuji groaned, then lifted his head. “Why did I think it would be a good idea to do three classes on the same day as morning soccer practice?” he whined. “My head hurts.”

“Did you eat anything?” Enta asked.

“No. I had to talk to the professor after class, and by the time I made it back the cafeteria was closed.”

Enta smiled and went over to turn on the electric kettle they had sitting on their mini fridge. “Chicken, or shrimp?”

“Huh?”

Enta went to his desk drawer and pulled out two varieties of cup noodles, holding them up for Kuji to see. “Chicken, or shrimp? I might have a kimchi flavor in the back, but I won’t guarantee its freshness.”

Kuji blinked at him. “Can I… have both?”

“You skipped lunch, too?” Enta scolded. “You can’t be an athlete and skip meals.”

“I scarf down as much as I can after practice,” Kuji said, sitting up slowly. “It usually holds me until dinner.”

“Maybe don’t do that next semester,” Enta suggested, handing him the cups and a pair of disposable chopsticks he had in his stash. “We can keep a stock of noodles for this, but also consider tossing some protein bars in your bag.”

“I’m already fully aware of my mistake, don’t worry,” Kuji said. “You’re a lifesaver, though. Thanks.”

“There’s also a vending machine with some soup in it near the gym,” Enta said. “I can’t recommend it, but if you’re really desperate for some warm food after hours, it’s there. Kazuki swears the tomato soup isn’t that bad, but I gagged on it. The corn soup is tolerable, but really weak.”

“Good to know,” Kuji said. The kettle beeped, so he got up to carefully pour water into the cups on his desk, then set a timer on his phone.

Enta flopped back on his bed, hugging his pillow. “Are you busy this weekend?”

“Not particularly,” Kuji said. “Just some studying I need to do. Why?”

“Well, it’s not more important than studying,” Enta said. “But I need to go shopping this weekend.”

“Shopping? For what?”

“It’s Kazuki’s birthday next week,” Enta said, pressing his face to the pillow. “And I have no idea what to get. This is normally the sort of thing I’d ask him to help with, but since he’s the one I’m buying for…”

“I’ll go with you,” Kuji offered. “If you think I’ll be any help.”

“Just having someone there I can talk to would be a big help,” Enta said. “I already don’t like shopping, but going by myself sounds like torture. I’d do it for Kazuki, though.”

“Will we be taking the train, or…?”

“I haven’t thought that far ahead. Saturday okay, though?”

“Yeah.” Kuji’s alarm went off, and he sat down at his desk to eat.

Enta watched him, taking advantage of the fact that he was so engrossed in the food. He thought about what Kazuki said earlier, about there being more than just friendly feelings. Enta knew enough about himself by now to know that he wouldn’t mind someone like Kuji as a boyfriend, but he wasn’t convinced Kuji saw him that way at all. Not to mention that Enta wasn’t sure he could take the disappointment and awkwardness that would come with rejection, especially not when he wanted to keep Kuji as his roommate for as long as possible.

He sighed inwardly, allowing himself, just for a moment, to consider what if. What if Kuji liked him as more than a friend? What if Kuji wanted to hug and kiss him? What if Kuji were interested in… more?

Enta blushed, hiding his face behind his pillow. Maybe Kuji wasn’t as attractive as someone like Kazuki at a glance, but Enta had spent enough time watching him on the soccer field to know that he wouldn’t mind being in close proximity to that powerful body. He hadn’t yet allowed himself to stare at Kuji naked in the locker room, but he’d caught enough glances of him changing to create a pretty detailed mental image.

And, if Enta were honest, he was starting to kind of dig the navy jacket and tie. Kuji seemed to only wear it on specific days, but Enta hadn’t yet gathered the courage to ask him why. There was a pattern, he was sure, but he’d waited so long that he wanted to figure it out on his own.

“You ok?” Kuji asked around a mouthful of noodles.

“Fine,” Enta squeaked. He searched for a safer subject to focus on. “Is that plant okay on your desk? It never gets any sunlight.”

“Succulents don’t need much,” Kuji said. He looked at his plant with a shy little smile. “I was actually wondering if I could bring in some more. I know it’s already cramped in here…”

“Do you have more?” Enta asked.

“My room at home was full of plants,” Kuji said. “I gave a few away that needed more care than I could give them. Others I’ve left with my brother, but he’s too busy to do much more than water them occasionally. I won’t ask to bring them all over, but the ones I’d rather not let go…”

“We can find room,” Enta said. He gestured to the empty corner near the window by his bed. “Put some over there. I don’t need the space.”

Kuji gaped at him. “Are you sure?”

“Of course,” Enta said. “It’s not like I hate plants.”

Kuji grinned at him, a blinding, beaming show of teeth. “Okay. Thanks!”

It hit Enta right in the chest, knocking the wind out of him.

If they make you that happy, please fill our room with plants, Enta thought as he rolled onto his other side, hiding another blush from Kuji.

“Did you think of anything?” Kuji asked. The train car was crowded, the both of them standing close together near the doors. Enta tried not to think too hard about how much taller Kuji seemed, up close like this. Enta’s eyes were level with his collarbone, which peeked out just a little from the loose t-shirt he wore.

“I couldn’t,” Enta said. “I don’t think I’ll know until I see it. Which is why I have to drag myself to a shopping center instead of just buying something online.”

“You can’t browse randomly online?”

“No matter what, it won’t be random,” Enta said. “I guess I’m hoping for a chance encounter, something that might jog my brain. He asked for something so broad, I don’t even know where to begin.”

“What did he ask for?” Kuji asked.

Enta looked out the window now that they were above ground again. “Something that reminds me of him. It would’ve been easy a year ago.”

“Why’s that?”

“I could’ve bought something soccer-related,” Enta said. He saw Kuji looking at his reflection, and he lowered his eyes. “Kazuki and soccer… used to be one and the same, for me. If I’d seen a stuffed animal holding a soccer ball, that would’ve been it. But now… I feel like I’m still getting used to the idea that he can’t play anymore.”

“And you’re hoping something else will jump out at you?”

Enta nodded. “It might be a long shot, but I have to get something. I’ve never missed his birthday, not once in eleven years.”

“You’ve known each other a long time,” Kuji remarked quietly.

“Yeah. And most of that time, he was my only friend.” Enta fidgeted with the strap of his bag. “It’s easy to give someone all your attention when they’re the only one you’re close to.”

The doors opened, and Enta had to rush off to avoid getting pushed over by the crowd. He felt Kuji’s presence behind him as he hurried to a clearer space on the platform, and soon enough they were on the street, headed towards the nearby shopping center.

“He seems like—a precious friend to you,” Kuji said, picking up that conversation thread.

Enta laughed. “It’s okay, you can say that you thought he was my boyfriend. You wouldn’t be the first one.”

“I—well…”

“I won’t be offended,” Enta assured him. “I’d be proud, having a boyfriend like Kazuki.”

“I actually… saw him kissing you, once,” Kuji said, looking aside.

“What?!” Enta cried. “When?”

“The day… before I moved in,” Kuji said. “I was getting shown around, and they told me to wander while I waited for a meeting with my adviser. I might’ve… peeked in your window.”

“That explains why you were talking about schedules, that first day,” Enta muttered, cheeks hot.

“In my defense, I thought you weren’t there,” Kuji said. “I just wanted to see what the inside of the room looked like, and the lights weren’t on.”

“So you knew you’d be staying in that room?”

Kuji nodded.

“And you decided you were okay with—with someone like me?”

“It wasn’t much of a decision, to be honest,” Kuji said. “I was excited about having a roommate who was already on the soccer team. You having a boyfriend didn’t really change that, and you two seemed sweet.”

“Man—you must’ve thought I was straight up lying to you, then, that first day,” Enta said with a laugh.

“I didn’t know what to think,” Kuji said, laughing too. He held the door open for Enta once they reached the shopping center. “I didn’t think you were lying, but it was just entirely at odds with what I saw, I wondered if I missed something.”

“You didn’t,” Enta said. “We’re just—complicated. Or, not complicated, but unconventional, I guess?”

“Can you… explain it to me?”

“Not without telling you something I’m not allowed to,” Enta said. “But just say we’re… affectionate best friends. We tried the boyfriend thing, but for various reasons, it didn’t work out. Kazuki is someone who likes to cuddle, though, so we still cuddle and kiss on occasion. For practice, he likes to say.”

“I see…”

“You’re allowed to say it’s weird.”

Kuji shook his head. “No it—it seems kind of nice, actually. I get it, I think.”

“Heh, do you really?” Enta wasn’t sure he believed him.

“Well, I mean—you’ve been close for a long time. If it feels nice, and there’s no real reason to put distance between yourselves…”

“We actually… haven’t kissed at all since that day,” Enta admitted. “It doesn’t feel right to me. Kisses don’t mean a lot to him, but for me…”

“You like them to mean something, don’t you?” Kuji asked.

Enta nodded miserably, his eyes drawn to the shop window of a cute stationery store. “Maybe that’s asking for too much.”

“I don’t think so,” Kuji said.

“You don’t?”

“I think kisses should mean something,” Kuji said. “At the very least, they should mean a similar amount to the people kissing. It’s fine if neither person cares, but if one does and the other doesn’t… That feels kind of lonely, doesn’t it?”

Kuji easily put to words what had been a nebulous swirl of feelings in Enta’s mind for weeks. “Ye-yeah, it does…”

“What does Yasaka-senpai like besides soccer?” Kuji asked. “I don’t think I even know his major…”

“He’s a literature major,” Enta said. “But he’s picky about the books he reads, so I can’t buy a book I haven’t read, since I can’t recommend it myself. I considered a big photography book, something he could look at with Shia-chan, but it didn’t feel quite right…”

“Shia-chan is a photography major?”

“Yup,” Enta said. He decided to go through the stationery store, though didn’t have high hopes to find anything suitable for a birthday gift.

“I thought I saw her wandering campus with a camera once, but I wasn’t sure it was her,” Kuji said.

“She does like to wear different disguises,” Enta said. He picked up a cute notebook with a ribbon pattern that vaguely reminded him of one of Shia-chan’s dresses. “I think she hasn’t quite settled on her look yet. Kazuki’s been helping her through it since last year, buying her clothes and such.”

“He buys her clothes?”

“Ah well… I don’t want to gossip too much about it, but her parents don’t know about her gender.” Enta put back the notebook and kept walking. “They would ask too many questions if she bought a bunch of clothes, so Kazuki uses his allowance to go shopping with her every now and then.”

“And she’s fine with that?”

“Oh no, she hates it,” Enta laughed. “But Kazuki insists on buying girly things for her, and she usually falls in love with the clothes too much to stop wearing them. It’s all very cute.”

“So does Yasaka-senpai… like her?” Kuji asked quietly.

“Probably about as much as he likes me,” Enta said, reaching forward to fidget with an eraser shaped like a soccer ball. “I’m happy for him.” He straightened. “I don’t think I’ll find anything here. Let’s try somewhere else.”

They went through three more shops—a bakery, a toy store, and small clothing and accessory store—but Enta didn’t feel any closer to an answer. Kuji insisted they stop at a nearby café, where he bought Enta an orange soda.

“You didn’t need to get me this,” Enta muttered as Kuji handed him the cool plastic cup.

“You’re getting frustrated,” Kuji said. “You need a break, or you won’t be able to think.”

Well, Enta could admit the sugar did make him feel a little better.

“You never really answered my question,” Kuji said, sipping on his own melon soda while they kept wandering the shopping center. “What does Yasaka-senpai like? Aside from literature and Shia-chan, apparently.”

“His little brother,” Enta laughed. “Too bad I can’t give him Haruka for his birthday. I guess in that vein, he likes cute things in general. He’s never shied away from things like stuffed animals or figurines, but I feel like if I’m getting him something like that, it has to really mean something. I considered flowers, too, but I didn’t want to get him something that would wither after a week.”

Kuji finger-combed back his hair. “At the risk of sounding like an absolute nerd… have you considered a plant? There are some pretty ones that aren’t hard to take care of.”

“A plant, huh…? Somehow the thought never crossed my mind,” Enta admitted. “It couldn’t be anything huge.”

“Luckily for you, plants come in all sizes,” Kuji said, talking to Enta like he was two.

Enta stuck his tongue out at him. “But maybe… I don’t think I remember seeing any plants in their room, but they do have flowers from time to time. Maybe Kazuki would like a plant.” He looked up at Kuji. “Is there a place nearby where I could get one?”

“There is,” Kuji said reluctantly. “But I don’t think it will have what you’re looking for. There’s a much better place I know of, but it’ll take probably an hour to get there from here.”

Enta sighed. “Well, it wouldn’t be a very meaningful gift if it was too easy.” He smiled. “Lead the way, then, expert.”

Once they finished their drinks they got back on the train, and after about half an hour transferred over to a bus.

“Is this a place you go often?” Enta asked, staring out at the neighborhood. It was kind of plain, but pretty, with a river running along the road nearby.

“I wouldn’t say often,” Kuji said. “More than once, though, when I could spare the time. The owner is nice. She’d let me stay for hours, even when I couldn’t buy anything.”

They got off the bus near a park. Enta breathed in the environment, finding it rather peaceful. “How did you find this place?”

“I used to live near here,” Kuji said. “Not for very long, but long enough to get to know the neighborhood. About two years.”

The shop turned out to be a tiny storefront with plants bursting forth towards the sidewalk. An old, hunched woman in an apron and patterned gloves stood outside with a watering can, parting leaves to peer at the soil of a large plant. She merely glanced up at them, uninterested, until it was clear they weren’t simply walking past her. “Tooi-kun?”

Kuji smiled. “Hi Granny. It’s been a while.”

“Oh heavens, you’ve grown so tall!” the old woman cried. “Are you looking for work?”

“Not this time,” Kuji said. “I’m a university student now.” He gestured to Enta. “This is my roommate, Jinnai-senpai.”

“Jinnai Enta. It’s nice to meet you.” Enta bowed politely.

She bowed her head. “Oh my, this is the first time Tooi-kun brought a friend! I’m Terada Renko, but everyone calls me Granny around here.”

“Is Mitsuko-san around?” Kuji asked.

“She’s in the back. Looking for something specific?”

“Something like that,” Kuji said. “Hoping she can help us find a good gift for a friend.”

“Go on back then,” Granny urged. “She’ll be happy to see you.”

What Enta thought was a tiny shop turned out to be almost a tunnel of plants, stretching far back into the building to open up into a big greenhouse filled to the brim with every type of plant Enta could think of, and then some. Trees, bushes, flowers, vegetables—even some grasses seemed to be for sale. There were hanging plants, big potted plants, sprouts in planters, tiny bonsai trees in elegant little pots, and pre-made flower boxes ready to hang from a balcony. Enta couldn’t imagine the work it would take to maintain all of them.

Kuji led him back into the heart of the greenhouse, his head darting from side to side to glance at various plants they passed. Enta had never seen him move with such deliberation and energy—not outside of the soccer field, at least. In the far corner of the room Enta saw the movements of a person, though she was too far away to see.

“Mitsuko-san!” Kuji called, startling Enta. Kuji often didn’t speak so loudly or suddenly.

“Tooi-kun?” was the distant response. “I wasn’t expecting to see you back so soon!” A small, round, middle-aged woman with a bandana in her hair and a wide smile on her face hurried over, her gloved hands covered with soil. “Did you bring us more plants?”

“We’re here to buy something, actually,” Kuji said.

Mitsuko peered around Kuji, spotting Enta. “A friend?”

“Jinnai Enta,” Enta said, stepping a little closer to bow politely to her. “I’m Kuji-san’s classmate.”

“I saw Granny out front,” Kuji said. “Is she feeling better?”

Mitsuko sighed and led them back to the corner where she was working. “No, she’s just gotten more stubborn. Says she’ll only die faster if she’s stuck inside all day.”

“That sounds like Granny,” Kuji said. “How are my old plants doing?”

“Well the Croton sold pretty quick, as I thought it would,” Mitsuko said. “A big, healthy guy like that will get bought up in no time. The elephant ear took about a week, but only because we had so many. I can’t remember what else there was…”

“The bird’s nest?” Kuji asked.

“Oh, that one is still here,” she said, pointing somewhere behind them. “I don’t know what it is, but I can’t get him to thrive here.”

They continued on for a few minutes. Enta had no idea what they were talking about, and he felt severely out of his element. He was just starting to think that maybe this wasn’t the best idea when Mitsuko addressed him again.

“So—Jinnai-kun, was it? Are you looking for something specific?”

“We’re looking for a houseplant, something not too hard to take care of,” Kuji said. “Probably only partial sun, at best—our dorms are a little shady. Unless Yasaka-senpai’s is different?” he asked Enta.

“Oh, uh—it’s a higher floor, so it gets more sun than ours,” Enta said.

“Which way does the window face?” she asked.

“East,” Enta said. “Lots of sun in the mornings.” He knew well from the times he slept in Kazuki’s room during school breaks, when Shia-chan would go home to her parents’ place.

“Hmm, I think we’ve got some that might work,” she said thoughtfully. “Tooi-kun, want to put on some gloves and give me a hand?”

Enta stood by awkwardly while they went around the greenhouse discussing and gathering plants. He wished he could take more interest, but they used so many unfamiliar words. Instead, he let himself become distracted by Kuji’s incredible nerd energy. He spoke more words to Mitsuko in twenty minutes than Enta had heard him say in the three weeks they’d known each other.

By the end, they’d gathered about a dozen plants, and lined them all up on a table for Enta to consider.

“These are all—” Kuji started to explain, but Mitsuko stopped him.

“Let him look first,” she said.

At first, Enta felt overwhelmed by the options with no idea where to start. But as he looked closer at the different plants—their leaves, their textures, their flowers—a few started to stand out to him. He naturally gravitated towards the red, pink and purple, as those colors felt most like Kazuki to him.

“This one,” he finally decided, after a few minutes of deliberation. It was a small plant relative to the others, and had delicate pink and white flowers clustered in the center.

“That’s a good choice,” Mitsuko said. “The Saintpaulias will do well in a dorm. What made you pick ‘em, though?”

“The—color, mostly,” Enta said, flushing at his simplicity. “I think it would look cute in his room, since it’s not very big, but the color stands out.”

“That’s a valid reason as any,” she said. “What do you think about it, Tooi-kun?”

“I thought he’d pick the begonias,” Kuji said.

Enta looked at the plants. “Which ones are those?”

Kuji pointed out the fluffy, light pink flowers.

“I thought about those, but… This one is more Kazuki, to me,” Enta said. “Is it alright?”

“I wouldn’t have put it on the table if it wasn’t alright,” Mitsuko said with a laugh. “Now, we need to find a good pot. We’ve got some that’ll work here, but I can suggest you go down the street to see—don’t make that face, Tooi-kun.”

Enta looked up just in time to see Kuji’s sour expression before it disappeared. It was kind of cute.

“Go see Fujita down the street and look for a pot from his collection,” she told Enta. “Tooi-kun can help you get the right size. Tell ‘im I sent you, and he might give you a discount if he’s in a good mood.”

Kuji led the way with a frown on his face.

“What’s wrong with this—Fujita-san?” Enta asked once they were outside.

“Nothing,” Kuji muttered.

They found the shop two blocks down. This time, the tiny storefront actually matched the inside—there wasn’t much room for more than the two of them among the hundreds of beautiful pots and cups along the walls.

“Oh, I thought I heard someone come in,” a voice grumbled. “Welcom—oh.” A balding old man, likely in his 50s or 60s, stepped out from behind a curtain and glared at Kuji. “What are you—”

“Mitsuko-san sent us,” Kuji said shortly. “My friend needs a flowerpot.”

The man—presumably Fujita—looked around the shop, his eyes glancing over Enta but clearly looking for something else. “He not here?”

“Why would he be?” Kuji spat. “I’m here for a pot. Can you help us, or not?”

“Of course, of course,” the man grumbled. “Take a look around.”

Kuji seemed intent to leave it entirely up to Enta, so Enta uneasily looked around the shop, wondering what caused Kuji to have such a mood shift. He was reminded of when Kuji defended him from Shirogane, and felt his heart flutter a little at the memory.

Shut up, Enta told his heart sternly. You’re supposed to be thinking of Kazuki.

The first pot Enta found, a lovely white one with carved flowers, was deemed too small by Kuji. The second one, too big. Enta stubbornly looked through the whole shop, until he found one that seemed so perfect he prayed that the size was right. He held it up to Kuji, who took it in his hands and nodded approvingly.

The little pot was white, decorated around the center with carved ribbons painted pink. It was clearly made with girls in mind, but something about it felt very Kazuki to Enta. It was maybe a little more expensive than Enta had originally hoped to spend, but it was a small price to pay for something that fit the criteria so perfectly.

Enta was too happy with his purchase to even question why Kuji seemed to hate that guy. It felt personal, and if Kuji wasn’t willing to give anything outright, Enta wasn’t going to pry it out of him and unnecessarily dampen his spirits.

When they got back to the greenhouse, Mitsuko carefully replanted Saintpaulias into the new pot while Kuji spent some time looking at a small plant with long, crinkly leaves.

“Can I buy this back, Mitsuko-san?” he asked.

“You can just take him,” she said, taking off her gloves and moving over to a very old and slightly rusted cash register. “No one’ll buy him in that state, and he clearly doesn’t like it here, poor thing.”

Enta paid what seemed to him a small sum for such a pretty plant, and Mitsuko set them up with crude little crates to hold the plants in while they traveled. Granny came inside and Kuji ended up talking with the older women about more things Enta didn’t understand, but he didn’t mind too much. The little plant fulfilled his mission better than he’d expected himself to be able to, so he was in good spirits as he wandered the greenhouse to wait.

Enta could see why Kuji liked it here. The air was moist and rich, and there were so many different plants to learn about. Enta could easily imagine a young Kuji running around here, dutifully helping Mitsuko and Granny with their work.

“Sorry,” Kuji said after they left, each with their small plant in tow. “It’s hard to get away when they start talking, especially when Granny is involved.”

“I get it,” Enta said. “I wasn’t in any hurry, though. You solved my problem, so I was going to let you stay and talk as long as you wanted. You clearly like it there.” He nodded towards Kuji’s plant. “Is that going back to our room?”

“Yeah,” Kuji said. “I think I can save it, but even if not, I’d rather give it a fair shot than just let it die. Mitsuko-san doesn’t really have the time to look after something as finnicky as this plant.”

“Did you grow it yourself?” Enta asked.

“Yeah… I left a lot of my plants with her, because I knew she’d know either how to look after them or find homes for them.”

They reached the bus stop and sat down on a bench, waiting. “You know, when you told me you liked plants, I didn’t really know what to make of it,” Enta said. “Now that I’ve seen it, though… I get it.”

Kuji gave a nervous little laugh. “You’re interested, too?”

“Not particularly,” Enta said. “But I get why you are. They clearly mean a lot to you. Though you seem to have less fondness for the pots they come in.”

Kuji barked out a laugh. “I don’t hate pots, just Fujita. He gave my brother a lot of trouble when we lived around here.”

“Trouble?”

“Ah, well… it’s not really worth going into,” Kuji said, rather despondently.

“Well, you don’t have to tell me,” Enta said. “But it’s a long way back to our dorm, so if you’re up for talking about your life, I’ll listen.”

Kuji shook his head, but started talking anyway. “I was young at the time, so I didn’t really understand it, but—Fujita had some gambling debts and needed some quick money. He begged my brother for a loan, and since Fujita was friends with Mitsuko-san, I told my brother he should help him out. Fujita said he’d pay us back with interest, since the tourist season was coming up. Well, two years go by, and Fujita never paid up. My brother was incredibly annoyed with him, since we didn’t have a ton of money to begin with, and every time Fujita came up with another bullshit excuse. Then, my brother catches him at a pachinko parlor.”

“Damn, what a jackass,” Enta said. “What did your brother do?”

“I’m not sure, he tells it differently every time,” Kuji said. “But I think he took him out to the alley and beat him up, then called it settled because he was too annoyed to deal with him.”

“Heh, your brother sounds scary,” Enta said.

“He’s not, really…” Kuji looked down at his plant. “He’s just had a tough life. He’s tried to be kind to people, but they take advantage of him. He had to sacrifice a lot keep us afloat, so… He doesn’t have the greatest capacity for patience, anymore. And I blame Fujita for that, at least partially.”

“Should I have bought a pot somewhere else, then?” Enta asked. “Or insisted on one of Mitsuko-san’s?”

“Despite our history, he’s a pretty skilled craftsman,” Kuji said. “I don’t want his business to fail, or anything. And I think you chose a good one—reminds me of Shia-chan.”

Enta was about to ask more about Kuji’s home life, but their bus arrived, and it was too full to find seats together. That same thoughtful silence followed them onto the crowded train, and all they could talk about from the station to their dorm was how packed the train was and how warm it was getting.

“Does this need watering?” Enta asked, setting the crate down on his desk.

“Mariko-san watered it already,” Kuji said, coming over to carefully take the plant out of its crate. “If you set it here, it should be nice and happy when you give it to him. Just water it a little when the top of the soil gets dry.”

Enta tried not to think about how close he was. “Okay. I’ll probably take it to him on Friday, rather than try to give it to him at dinner on Saturday. Which—did he mention you’re invited?”

Kuji frowned. “No. He wants to invite me?”

“Of course,” Enta said. “From what it sounds like, it’ll just be a dinner with the four of us—you, me, Kazuki, and Shia-chan.”

“I… I’m not sure I can,” Kuji said, going back to his desk to look at his own plant.

“Oh, are you busy Saturday?”

 “No…”

“What, then?” Enta asked. “Do you not like Kazuki, for some reason? Or Shia-chan?”

“N-no. I like them.” Kuji hid a flush behind his hair. “I just don’t think I can afford a gift and dinner.” He said it quietly, almost inaudibly, like it was a real point of shame for him.

Enta blinked. He’d had the feeling he was wrong before, but now he knew without a doubt he’d misunderstood Kuji’s financial situation. “You don’t have to pay for anything like that,” Enta said.

“I don’t want to—to be treated differently,” Kuji muttered.

“You won’t be,” Enta said. “Kazuki’s family will pay for his dinner—they always do. We’re probably going to share a bunch of sushi and tempura, so you won’t even get the option of holding back. As for the gift, well… I was going to ask you if you wanted to give him the plant together, since you did a lot of the work.”

Kuji shook his head. “I don’t need any of the credit, I just—”

“You gave me the idea, brought me to the place, and helped me pick one out,” Enta said impatiently. “I wouldn’t have found anything nearly this nice on my own. I think he’d like knowing that it came from the two of us, too, to give it that extra layer of sentimentality that he wanted.”

“You say all that as if I didn’t want to go… I dragged you there, even though a closer place might’ve had the exact same Saintpaulias you chose.”

“I don’t care how much you enjoyed yourself,” Enta said. “Actually—no, I do. I’m glad you had fun. I’m glad it wasn’t a pain in the ass and you got to catch up with people you care about, because it made the whole day better. I’m sure I’ll remember it every time I visit Kazuki’s room and see that plant.” He lightly touched Kuji’s arm. “Let’s give it to him together, okay? He’d be sad to know you were fretting over this when all he wants is to spend time with his friends.”

“I—yeah, okay.” Kuji said. He busied himself with his dying plant, checking under the shriveled leaves. Enta went back to his bed, pulling out his phone to check for messages he knew he didn’t have.

“Did you—really have fun today?” Kuji asked him.

“Yeah,” Enta said. “All the plant stuff went way over my head, but Mitsuko-san is really nice. And it’s just nice to get out sometimes. The weather was perfect.” His phone chimed. “Oh, Kazuki’s asking if we want to eat together in the cafeteria.”

“Sure,” Kuji said. “I just need to wash up a little.”

Enta’s head turned hot. Mentioning Mitsuko made him think of something that had crossed his mind at the greenhouse, but he’d been too afraid to mention it aloud. Now that they were back in the safety of the room, a layer of awkwardness had been removed, but it still wasn’t an easy thing to bring up.

“Kuji-san,” Enta said when he’d finished washing his hands.

Kuji swung his head around. “Yeah?”

“I—I was thinking…” Enta sat up, cross-legged, putting his hands firmly on his knees so they wouldn’t shake. “I think calling me Jinnai-senpai is too formal. We’re nearly the same age, and we live together, so Enta is fine.”

“So… Enta-senpai?”

“No senpai!” Enta cried. He looked aside shyly. “I don’t… really like to think of you as my kouhai, just because I happened to be here a year longer than you.”

Kuji smiled a little. “Enta, then,” he said. “In that case, call me Tooi.”

For how simple it was, Enta shouldn’t have been as relieved as he felt, but it was like a huge barrier had suddenly been lifted from between them. He grinned. “Okay, Tooi.”

It was fun to say, especially when it made him smile like that.

When they’d both washed for dinner, Enta slipped on a cardigan to fight the evening breeze of late spring. “Don’t be surprised if Kazuki insists you call him by his first name, too,” he warned Tooi.

“I won’t mind,” Tooi said. “Though it’ll be tough to drop the senpai.”

Enta couldn’t say with any concrete evidence that things had fundamentally changed after spending that Saturday together, but he couldn’t deny that he felt much closer to Tooi in a way he had trouble describing.

It wasn’t just the name or dropping the honorifics. Tooi acted differently around Enta, and Enta was starting to notice himself doing the same.

It started with opinions, meaning that Tooi had actually started to share them. He was disappointed his classes only felt vaguely relevant to his chosen field, and he was tired of the coach praising him rather than offering any useful advice for improvement. Enta learned that most of Tooi’s high school teammates that stuck with soccer ended up joining professional teams, but he chose to take the scholarship that was offered to him. Despite his less-than-interesting class subjects, he didn’t regret his choice, saying that he liked most of his new team members, including the captain.

He laughed more, too, though that probably had something to do with Enta feeling more comfortable to joke with him. After digging under all the good manners and politeness, Enta found Tooi had a rather dry, almost dark sense of humor that took some time to adjust to. Enta thought it felt at odds with Tooi’s shy, somewhat optimistic personality.

That was, until he learned where it came from.

“Welcome back,” Enta greeted on Thursday night. “Get to eat anything?”

Tooi dropped his bag onto the bed, then dropped himself beside it face first. “Yeah.”

“I thought we’d go see Kazuki tomorrow morning before his class to give him his present,” Enta said. “I found a wooden box to put it in, so he’ll have something to open.” Upon seeing that Tooi wasn’t paying any attention, Enta gave up trying to show him and went to sit beside him on his bed. “Tough day?”

Tooi rubbed his face on the blanket. “I just want to sleep, but I have an essay due Saturday night that I’ve barely started.”

“Okay, my advice? Don’t start it tonight.” Enta patted Tooi’s shoulder. “You’re just going to write garbage and hate yourself. You have a light class load tomorrow, right?”

“Just Biology in the afternoon,” Tooi said.

“Okay. Go to sleep early tonight, wake up early with me to give Kazuki his present, then stay here all day to work on your essay, save for your Biology class. Don’t let yourself feel guilty for sleeping, because you need it after running around all day. I’ll even bring you some food, so you don’t have to waste time in cafeteria lines.”

“Thank you,” Tooi mumbled against the mattress. “I don’t want to have to miss the dinner…”

“Unless it’s a particularly long essay, or you’re a really slow writer, you should be fine,” Enta assured him. “They don’t usually make first-years write very much. Now get up and get ready for bed.”

Tooi did so, tiredly changing in front of Enta without any hint of self-awareness. For the first time Enta allowed himself to really look, since it would be way too obvious to turn away.

“That’s a nasty scar on your hip,” Enta remarked. The skin was shiny and splotchy, reaching down to his thigh. “A burn?”

“Yeah,” Tooi said, twisting to look at it. “Haven’t thought about it in a while.”

“Was it just an accident as a kid or something?” Enta asked, curious.

“Not an accident,” Tooi said quietly. He took off his jeans and slid on a pair of sweatpants.

Enta gaped up at him, appalled.

Tooi put his big hand on Enta’s head. “It’s better if I don’t talk about it. You might sleep better not knowing.” He went to grab a fresh shirt from his drawer.

“I’m not so sure about that,” Enta said. He moved back to his own bed to get out of Tooi’s way, still haunted by the implications.

Tooi caught the look on his face, then sighed. “I had a rough childhood,” he said. “Though you might’ve guessed already.”

Enta shook his head. “I didn’t know at all. You… seem to hide it pretty well.”

“I’m glad for that,” Tooi said, rubbing his arm self-consciously. “The last thing I want is people pitying me or using me for some inspirational story. The short of it is—we lost my parents when I was really young. My brother more or less tried to raise me, even though he was barely an adult at the time. We stayed with relatives when we had to, eked it out on our own when we could, and eventually we gathered enough to buy a small house. This burn came from one of the relatives we stayed with, a grand aunt. She tossed boiling water on me when I was caught stealing food at school.”

Enta hissed in sympathy. “How old were you?”

“Let’s see… 12, I think?” Tooi fell heavily onto his bed, facing Enta. “I didn’t even get punished by the school, they just let her know as part of a suggestion that I be fed more at home. All she was giving me was a single bowl of rice and weak broth each day.”

“That’s horrible!” Enta cried.

“You don’t have to tell me that,” Tooi muttered. “But I only lived there for about six months—once my brother saw the burns, he promised me I’d never have to see her again.”

“I’m glad he got you out of there,” Enta said. “He seems to really care about you.”

“He seemed like the only one who did, those years,” Tooi said. “But things got better after that. He brought me to that neighborhood where I took you on Saturday, and those two years we lived there were the best time of my life since our parents died. But we couldn’t stay. Things were too uncertain with money, and even though I offered to start working as soon as I got out of middle school, we had to move to a cheaper neighborhood.”

“What happened after that?” Enta wanted to know. “I know you went to high school.”

“I started working out of middle school, like I promised I would,” Tooi said. “But I did it without really telling Nii-san. When he found out a couple of weeks into the school year that I never actually enrolled, he was furious with me. He begged them to give me another opportunity the following year, so I started a year later than everyone else.”

“Why were you so intent on working if you were supposed to be in school?” Enta asked.

Tooi rubbed his neck. “Every problem we ever had since our parents died was, in some way, related to money. I thought if I could contribute my own income, things would get better for us, and I could give my brother the break he so desperately needed. I agreed to go back to school on the condition that he accept all the income I brought in that year, and he agreed. I accepted every job I could, and at the end, he didn’t complain when I gave him every penny.”

“How much was it?” Enta asked. “If you’re okay telling me.”

“Altogether…maybe about 5 million yen?”

“Holy shit.”

“Keep in mind, I had three jobs simultaneously at some points,” Tooi said. “I took some dangerous labor jobs that paid really well, though I never told my brother about those. I hated it, but I told myself I just had to endure a year. And I did.”

“That must’ve wrecked your body, though,” Enta said. “And you managed to become a soccer star after that?”

“I ate well,” Tooi said. “I took food jobs when I could, because I’d get access to free food and leftovers. And even if I was working all the time, I made sure to go home every night to sleep, so Nii-san wouldn’t worry about me.” Something in his expression told Enta he was proud of that.

“So what did your brother do with the money?”

“We bought that house I mentioned,” Tooi said. “It’s tiny and cramped, but we own it, and the mortgage is way cheaper than the rent of most of the places we stayed in before. Nii-san has a steady job now, so it’ll probably be paid off before I graduate college, unless something bad happens.”

“That’s all… wow,” Enta said. “I never would have guessed any of this. When we first met, I thought you were some rich kid who won the genetics roulette. Not some plant nerd with a rough past.”

Tooi laughed. “A rich kid?”

“That suit and tie you wear sometimes,” Enta said. “You were wearing it when you moved in. Only rich kids wear that stuff.”

“That outfit was a gift from Nii-san,” Tooi said shyly. “I wear it when he’s around to show I’m grateful. I think he didn’t want me to look like a poor kid, but he spent more money on it than he should have. It’s tailored.”

“You’re really fond of him, aren’t you?”

Tooi frowned. “Don’t make fun of me.”

“I promise you I’m not,” Enta said gently. “You just make it kind of obvious when you talk about him.”

“He’s… my only real family left,” Tooi said. “He’s the only person I could rely on for most of my life, and while he’s not the best guardian in the world, he always worked his hardest for me. I want to make him proud, so he’ll know that all those sacrifices he made for me weren’t in vain.”

“He ought to be proud as you are,” Enta said.

“He is,” Tooi said with a cute smile. “When I was talking to him about this school, I told him I was thinking about going into civics, so I’d have a good shot at a steady job when I graduated. He groaned and made me promise not to waste my opportunity with a boring major.”

Enta laughed. “I like him.”

“He’d probably like you, too,” Tooi said. “Though it was hard to convince him you weren’t boring when I told him you were a civics major.”

“I refuse to be defined by my chosen career path,” Enta said, thumping his chest.

“I’ll make sure to tell him that, next time I see him,” Tooi said, then yawned generously.

“Bedtime,” Enta declared. “I’ll be up for a little while longer, but I’ll be quiet. Sorry for probing you for your life story.”

Tooi waved his hand dismissively. “It was gonna happen sooner or later. Just don’t start treating me like I’m poor or fragile.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Enta said.

Enta spent a little time studying before bed, but too often his eyes would wander over to Tooi and rest there. Awake, his face could be kind of intense, but when he was asleep, he looked very much like the vulnerable young man he was. He spoke of his past like it was from a history book, detached from all the pain he must have endured, and Enta wondered just how he grew up into such a sweet, caring person.

He didn’t know much about Tooi’s brother, but after tonight, Enta was convinced of one thing about him:  he clearly loved Tooi. The only way Tooi could have turned out this way was to know that he was loved by someone.  

And if Enta felt his heart tug a little further in the direction of wanting to be one of those people who loved him—well, he couldn’t say Tooi didn’t deserve a little extra.

Despite showing up ridiculously early in the morning, Kazuki and Shia-chan were already fully dressed when Enta and Tooi arrived with their birthday gift.

“You know we’re celebrating tomorrow, right?” Kazuki laughed when Enta handed him the box. “Oh, it’s heavy.”

“Yeah, I didn’t want to have to carry that around tomorrow,” Enta said. “Besides, you should get a gift on your birthday. And before you open it, I have to tell you it’s from both of us. A joint effort.”

“A couple’s gift, huh?” Kazuki teased, making Enta flush. “Just kidding.” He set the box down on his desk to open it. “Oh, it’s so pretty! Shia-chan, look!”

Kazuki carefully lifted the plant out of the box and held it up for her.

She smiled from her desk. “It’s beautiful. It looks so cheerful.”

“Right? I think it goes well in our room.” Kazuki put the plant down and threw his arms across Enta’s shoulders. “Thank you,” he said quietly. “I love it.”

Enta squeezed him and let him go, and Kazuki pulled away to give Tooi an appraising look. “If you don’t want a hug, too, tell me now before it happens.”

Tooi blinked at him with a bewildered expression before offering a vague smile. That was apparently all the invitation Kazuki needed, as he gave him a quick squeeze of a hug, too. “Thank you, both of you. Is it fine if I leave it on my desk?”

“Yeah,” Tooi said. “Water it when the soil gets dry, and try not to give it too much.”

“Got it,” Kazuki said. “You guys want to snag breakfast with me?”

“Tooi has an essay to write,” Enta said before Tooi could say anything. “I’ll walk down with you, though.”

Tooi reluctantly went back to the dorm after Enta’s stern look, and Shia-chan opted to stay and study for her quiz, which left Kazuki and Enta to go to the cafeteria alone.

“Can I ask why you chose that gift?” Kazuki asked when they got outside. “Or is that too much?”

“Do—do you not like it?” Enta asked, suddenly doubting himself.

“No, no, I’m just—curious about your thought process. I know I asked for something that took a little more work, so I just wondered how you came up with it.” Kazuki offered a smile. “I do love it.”

“Well, I really didn’t have a direction when I started,” Enta admitted. “I went to a lot of different shops, but nothing jumped out. I had Tooi with me for moral support, but he saw how frustrated I was and suggested a plant. I decided it would be a good gift, because I know you like flowers, but I didn’t want to watch them wilt after a week. I had Tooi help me find a pretty one that was easy to take care of, and I put it in a flowerpot that reminded me of you and Shia-chan.”

“You included Shia-chan when you were looking?” Kazuki asked, his smile cryptic.

“Well, you two spend so much time together, I thought you’d like it more…”

“Sorry, I don’t mean to interrogate you,” Kazuki said, opening the door to the cafeteria for him. “I just wanted to pick your brain, because when I asked you to get me something sentimental, I realized I had no idea what to expect. If I’d asked for something like that a year ago, I know your mind would’ve immediately gone to soccer.”

Enta grinned sheepishly, caught out in his predictability. “That was our connection for so long…”

Kazuki’s eyes turned sad. “I know.”

Enta had only been intending to grab breakfast for himself and Tooi and take it back to the dorm, but he quickly realized couldn’t leave Kazuki to eat alone on his birthday.

“I didn’t think too hard about it when I asked,” Kazuki said once they sat down with their food. “But I guess a part of me, deep down, wanted to know what I was to you. We were the Golden Duo for so many years… You used to cheer me on with your whole heart. Who would I be when I couldn’t be your soccer star anymore?”

“Kazuki…” Enta’s heart squeezed to hear him speak so sadly. “You will always be my best friend. I thought that was obvious, since we spent so much time together after your injury…”

“Really? You weren’t just pitying me?”

Enta gave him a withering look. “You know I wasn’t. You’re letting your self-doubt talk again.”

Kazuki ducked his head. “Sorry, I’ll stop.”

Enta sighed. “I thought about this a lot when it happened, but I knew pretty early on that my feelings for you hadn’t changed in any fundamental way after you had to stop playing soccer. I was still happier being by your side than not. Maybe I was a little less excited about the sport, but I started to notice a lot of things about you I’d missed over the years. It made me happy that you still wanted to spend time with me after we couldn’t play together anymore.”

“Of course I did!” Kazuki cried. “How could I give up you and the sport I love at the same time?”

“Well—what was I to you, except your partner in the Golden Duo?” Enta asked. “It went both ways. We leaned so heavily on soccer that I worried you’d resent me for playing. I was ready to quit the team the moment I knew I was making you sad.”

“You never made me sad,” Kazuki said, frowning.

“And I’m still on the team,” Enta said cheekily. “But really… A year ago, I could’ve listed all the things I liked about you, and the majority of them would have been related to soccer, I’m sure. But I’m enjoying finding more things to add to the list. I love learning about the books you like. I love seeing you care for Shia-chan. I still love watching movies and TV shows with you and learning what you like about them.”

Tears pooled in Kazuki’s eyes, loosening as he smiled widely. “Okay, I get it. You can stop making me cry, now.”

Enta handed him a napkin. “Just remember that you don’t have to be anything but Kazuki to me. I’ll accept you as you are, no matter what you can or can’t do.” Kazuki’s mouth started to tremble in some attempt at a watery glare, and Enta laughed a little. “Okay, okay, I’m done. No more sentimental talk. Before I forget—if you have any problems with your plant, ask Tooi what to do.”

Kazuki sniffed and wiped at his eyes. “I guess he’s the expert, huh?”

“He really likes plants,” Enta said. “I don’t think I really understood it until that day.”

Enta ended up telling Kazuki about most of the day he had with Tooi, save for the stuff about Fujita that didn’t seem like his story to tell.

“No wonder you two came to dinner all cozy on Saturday,” Kazuki remarked.

“Cozy?”

“You’d switched to first names after that,” Kazuki reminded him. “I can’t say I was surprised—frankly, I expected you two to start using first names a while ago—but it did feel like something had changed. So, are you going to confess to him? Or wait for him to do it?”

“I—but—what?!” Enta spluttered. “Who’s talking about confessing?”

“Not there yet, huh…?” Kazuki muttered quietly. He smiled. “Never mind. Don’t worry about it.”

Enta narrowed his eyes. “You want me to let a comment like that off the hook?”

“Yes,” Kazuki said. “Because it’s my birthday.”

Tooi managed to finish his essay in time, but just barely. It was well into the afternoon on Saturday that he finally submitted it, after begging Enta to look it over for errors. Enta knew nothing about the subject, but he did correct a few mistyped kanji Tooi had missed.

Kazuki took them to a traditional restaurant not too far from campus, where a small room had been reserved just for the four of them. The food had been ordered in advance, so all the wait staff asked for was their drink orders.

“Sake!” Shia-chan cried. “You’re of age now. We need to celebrate!”

“Okay, I’ll share a bottle with you,” Kazuki said nervously.

“I’ll have a beer,” Tooi said.

“Just—just black tea for me,” Enta said in a small voice.

“Aww, Enta-kun’s the only one left,” Shia-chan said when the staff were gone. “You can be our designated driver.”

Enta made a face. “But we walked here.”

“Don’t worry,” Kazuki said, patting his shoulder from across the table. “I promise you and I will get shiftaced together next month.”

Tooi looked at Enta with interest. “Next month?”

“Yeah,” Enta said miserably. “A whole month.”

“Almost,” Kazuki informed Tooi. “It’s the 28^th, in case you want to make a note of it.”

“I’m not doing anything like this,” Enta said. “I’m going to a bar, downing all the beer I can handle, and making out with the first guy that’ll have me.”

“So, me?” Kazuki asked.

“If no one else beats you to it, sure,” Enta resigned. “I’ll be far too drunk to care by that point.”

“Enta-kun needs a real boyfriend,” Shia-chan said. “So Kazuki will stop taking advantage of him.”

Kazuki gaped at her. “Shia-chan! I’m hurt. You think I take advantage of my best friend?”

“Uh huh.” She gave him a sly, foxlike expression. “What? I can’t be honest with you on your birthday?”

“You can, but…” Kazuki trailed off. “Enta, you don’t think I take advantage of you, do you?”

Enta opened his mouth, but Shia-chan cut him off. “He’s not impartial. And I’m not saying your relationship is bad, because I know you care a lot about each other. I just think—if Enta-kun wants to make out with someone, it should be someone who wants to be with him, is all.”

“But what if it’s someone bad?” Kazuki argued. “What if—”

“I WAS JOKING!” Enta yelled. “I wasn’t actually going to go through with it. I’d probably get two beers in before I felt queasy because I don’t drink, then stumble back to my bed and sleep.”

“Joking or not,” Shia-chan said, “Kazuki’s response was telling.”

Kazuki sighed, leaning into Shia-chan. “Point taken. Are you done roasting me?”

She grinned, patting his hair. “I’m sharing a bottle of sake with you, what do you think?”

It really said a lot about their relationship that Kazuki wasn’t more annoyed with her. Enta had always been a weak point of his, along with Haruka, and anyone who offered any criticism of their relationship would be met with a moody, if not hostile Kazuki. Shia-chan had apparently made it past that barrier, and Enta had to admire her tenacity.

Drinks arrived, and Enta found he was actually content with his tea, as it kept him lucid enough to enjoy Kazuki and Shia-chan’s rapid descent into giggly drunkenness. They were about halfway through the bottle when all of the food arrived at once.

Tooi hadn’t said much up to that point, keeping to mostly to himself with his beer, but he seemed to watch with the same level of interest Enta did. “You two are lightweights,” he finally commented, reaching for a piece of tuna sashimi.

“Hey, this stuff is strong,” Kazuki slurred. He was having trouble grabbing a piece of tempura shrimp—Enta took pity on him and put it on his plate for him.

“And how long have you been drinking, Tooi-jisan?” Shia-chan prodded.

Tooi chuckled, taking a heavy gulp of beer. “Longer than you have, apparently.”

“How long?” Enta wanted to know.

“Since I was 14,” Tooi said casually. “Not heavily. I’d steal a beer from my brother here and there. He never caught me, but I think he knew.”

“Ooh, Tooi-kun was a bad boy,” Shia-chan said, then giggled incessantly.

Kazuki frowned. “Tooi is a good boy, though. He’s nice. Isn’t he, Enta?”

Enta barely held back a laugh, ducking his head. “Yes, Kazuki.”

Shia-chan leaned into Kazuki, trying to whisper but talking loud enough for everyone to hear. “You want to date him, don’t you?”

Enta couldn’t describe the sudden heat that rose to his chest.

Kazuki seemed to give Tooi a long, assessing look. Tooi sat there bravely, clearly bewildered by Shia-chan’s words.

“Hmm… Nope, I still won’t date,” Kazuki decided. “He’s cute, but if I can’t like Enta, I can’t like anyone.”

“K-kazukiii,” Enta hissed.

“Entaaaaa,” Kazuki sang back. “It’s fine. I don’t mind if Tooi knows I’m asexual. I’m the least controversial of us three, but the last to share my deep, daaaaark secret.”

“You’re also the only one of us with the luxury to hide it,” Shia-chan teased, poking Kazuki’s cheek.

Enta spared a glance at Tooi, who seemed relaxed enough to just accept whatever it was that was happening.

“What about you, Tooi-kun?” Shia-chan asked. “Do you have any dark secrets?”

Tooi’s expression didn’t even twitch. “Lots. But it’ll take a lot more beer before I share them with you.”

Shia-chan stuck her tongue out at him. “You’re no fun.”

“Shia-chan,” Enta said, not wanting her to escalate. “Didn’t you bring a gift for Kazuki?”

“Oh, right!” She picked up the gift bag she brought with her and held it out to Kazuki. “It’s stupid. Happy birthday.”

Kazuki laughed as he accepted it. “You sure know how to get me excited for a gift.”

Enta snagged a piece of the dwindling kappa maki as he watched Kazuki pull out a windowed paper box that looked like something from a bakery.

It turned out to be a fresh flower crown. Kazuki gasped as he carefully picked it up. “It’s beautiful, Shia-chan,” he said in a suddenly watery voice.

She took it from him and delicately placed it on his head, arranging his spiky hair artfully around the flowers. “There. Now you’re prettier than me.”

“Impossible,” Kazuki said. He brought out his phone to look at himself in his camera. “Well… Maybe you have a point.” He pulled Shia-chan into his lap and took a few selfies with her, giggling as they made funny faces.

Enta shared a look with Tooi, whose expression seemed stuck between amused and embarrassed, and shook his head ruefully. “Good to see Kazuki’s taking well to his first time drinking.”

“That’s one way of putting it,” Tooi said. He drained his beer and picked up the second one the staff brought for him on their last time through. He brought it to his lips, but hesitated, then offered it to Enta. “You want some? I won’t tell anyone you’re a month underage.”

Enta thought to refuse, but another look at Kazuki and Shia-chan—who had managed to fall over each other laughing—changed his mind. “Sure. If you don’t mind.”

“No one should have to watch them completely sober,” Tooi muttered as Enta accepted the mug.

He cringed at the bitterness, but it went smoothly down his throat, warming his stomach pleasantly. He took two more healthy gulps before handing it back. “Thanks.”

“You like it?”

“It’s alright,” Enta decided. “I imagine you get used to the flavor.”

“Yeah.” Tooi didn’t hesitate for a second to take a drink from the same spot where Enta’s lips had been. He had a faint blush on his cheeks, Enta noticed, but that could’ve just as easily been from the beer.

When the staff came by the next time, Enta told them to box up the rest, since it was clear Kazuki and Shia-chan were finished eating and consumed by their strange little world of hugging and giggling and playing with their hair as they posed for the camera. Before they left, they bullied Enta and Tooi into each having a turn with a flower crown, snapping a lot of photos in the process.

Tooi and Enta walked with the two of them back to their dorm, careful to shield them from the housing staff behind the desk at the entrance, lest they question their odd behavior.

“Thanks for coming, guys,” Kazuki said after divebombing into his bed. He tugged on Shia-chan’s arms until she joined him. “Want to stay and watch a movie on my laptop?”

Enta slipped Kazuki’s leftover sushi into their fridge. “I think we’ll leave you to it,” he said, glancing at Tooi for confirmation.

Tooi nodded. “I have homework I should be doing.”

“Aw, okay,” Kazuki said cheerfully. “Goodnight then!”

“Drink some water before you fall asleep,” Enta said over his shoulder as they left. By then Kazuki was giggling again, so Enta wasn’t sure he’d heard him at all.

The door closed behind them as they walked away. “Liar,” Enta said to Tooi.

“It wasn’t a lie,” Tooi said, leading the way down the stairs. “I always have homework I should be doing. I never said I’d be doing it tonight.”

Back on the first floor, Enta pushed open the doors to the cool night. “Well, I hope you had a little fun, at least. Shia-chan can be… a lot.”

“I had fun,” Tooi said. “But I had no idea Shia-chan could be so…”

“Blunt?”

Tooi laughed. “Yeah. I thought she was more soft-spoken.”

“She’s only like that in public because she doesn’t like to draw too much attention to herself. When she’s in a safe place, she can be pretty bold. That’s Kazuki’s effect on her, though—she’s very comfortable around him, now.”

“Did you agree with her?” Tooi asked. “About Kazuki… taking advantage of you?”

“Maybe not with how she said it, but… She did have a point,” Enta admitted. “Kazuki uses me for affection, and for the most part, I let him. I don’t think it’s inherently a bad thing, but I’d probably be searching a little harder for a boyfriend if he wasn’t around to dote on me.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t really know. Thinking about dating someone I don’t know terrifies me, but I know I can’t cling to Kazuki forever.”

“Why does it terrify you?” Tooi asked.

“Because getting that close to someone is just scary,” Enta said. “And that’s assuming I can find someone who’ll like me enough to date me in the first place.” He kicked a pebble off the sidewalk. “I was spoiled by Kazuki, in more ways than one. We had soccer. We went to the same schools. We learned each other’s ins and outs gradually over time, and I didn’t have to think about it. He gave me all the affection I wanted and then some, but then we discovered that one thing about him that prevented us from being perfect together.”

“His…” Tooi didn’t want to say it, for some reason.

“His asexuality,” Enta affirmed. “I told him it didn’t bother me, and at the time, it was true. We were young, I was in love with him, and I wanted to do everything I could to make him happy, including just… ignoring that part of myself. But over time, after a lot of talking, we decided it wasn’t going to work out, in the end. It was better to come to terms with it earlier rather than later, I guess, but it still hurt like hell.”

They came close to the entrance of their building, but Tooi didn’t seem all that inclined to go inside, so they kept walking along the path around the building.

“I can’t imagine what it must’ve felt like,” Tooi said. “For both of you. No wonder you stayed so close.”

“It’s tough, but… When the time comes that I have to give everything else up, I like to think it’ll be easier.”

“You think you’ll have to?” Tooi asked.

Enta laughed incredulously. “It would be way too selfish of me to ask a future partner to put up with that sort of thing. And who’s to say I’ll even want it, at that point?” Enta shook his head. “I don’t know what it’ll feel like to be in love with someone who’s not Kazuki. I’m afraid I’ll end up not giving someone a chance because they don’t measure up to him.”

Tooi didn’t say anything for a long stretch, making Enta self-conscious.

“Sorry for dumping all of that emotional baggage on you,” Enta said with a nervous laugh.

“No, it’s not—I just—I wanted to understand,” Tooi said hastily. “Sorry for not saying anything—I’m not bored, just thinking about it.”

“Oh.”

“So what Kazuki has with Shia-chan isn’t all that different?” Tooi asked.

“They’re—kind of beyond me, to be honest,” Enta said. “I don’t fully understand how they feel about each other, and I’m not even sure they do, either. I’m sure they’ve spent a lot of time talking about it, though. Shia-chan’s never really tried to come between Kazuki and me, so it doesn’t bother me that they’re close… Not that it should to begin with.”

“I understand why it would, though,” Tooi said. “If she tried to keep you apart, you’d be right to be upset with her.”

“Maybe, but… Well, I don’t think Kazuki would allow it, anyway. He likes her for a reason, and part of that is that she seems to understand our friendship.” They reached the river that ran through campus, and Enta walked up to the railing to look down into the water. “But at this point, if he decided to have a more exclusive relationship with her, I wouldn’t be able to deny him, because I know I’d do the same thing to him.” He rested his arms on the top of the railing. “Maybe I’m kidding myself, thinking I’ll ever be completely over him.”

“What does it mean to be over him, though?” Tooi asked, coming up beside him.

“I don’t know,” Enta said honestly. “I just have this vision of myself dating a guy who can’t stand that I’m still friends with someone who is essentially my ex-boyfriend.”

“A guy like that has no business being with you,” Tooi said with surprising bitterness.

“It’s natural to feel jealousy, though, isn’t it?”

“Maybe,” Tooi said. “But it shouldn’t be on you to ‘fix’ it by separating from your best friend.”

Enta sighed. “I hope the next guy I date is half as understanding as you are. I want someone to break Kazuki’s spell, but I don’t want to have to throw him away to do it.” He gripped the railing and hopped up, feet landing on the lower bar. “UGH, WHY IS IT SO HARD!?” he yelled at the water, his voice echoing across the river.  He hopped back down. “Sorry,” he told Tooi. “We should get back.”

Tooi followed him, not saying anything else on their way back to the room. Enta landed on his bed with a groan. “I don’t know why I’m so tired. I guess I ate a lot…”

“We did choose a difficult subject of conversation,” Tooi said, examining his little fern. Ever since he brought it into the room, he checked it often. “And I think watching those two for an hour would make anyone tired.”

“Oh yeah, I was going to ask… You teased Shia-chan with dark secrets.” He looked at Tooi. “Any chance you’ll share some with me?”

Tooi rubbed his hair, not meeting Enta’s eyes. “Someday, maybe.”

“Fair,” Enta said. “I was just trying to take advantage of your drunkenness, anyway.”

“It takes way more than a beer and a half to get me drunk,” Tooi laughed.

Things fell back into routine for a couple of weeks, with Enta’s free time getting mostly consumed by soccer practice and studying. The soccer team was preparing to have a practice game with a local team, and everyone seemed pretty fired up about it.

Even Enta, who was just a reserve player, caught the enthusiasm. He tried to tell himself that he was excited for more than just seeing Tooi in action up close, but as the game drew closer, he couldn’t deny that being the main appeal for him.

On Friday, the afternoon before the game, the team had all gathered in the field for some last-minute penalty drills. The day was warm—not hot, but enough to cause a lot of sweat. Like a barbarian, Enta lifted the hem of his uniform shirt to wipe his brow so he could better watch Tooi take his penalty shots.

The last thing he saw was the bright blue of the sky above.

When Enta woke up, it was the later end of sunset. His head was throbbing, and he couldn’t see without his glasses.

“Don’t move,” a familiar voice said. “You might have a concussion.”

The figure at his bedside was a blur, but it didn’t take his mind long to match his voice to the shape. “Kazuki?”

“I’m here,” he said gently, squeezing Enta’s hand. “You’re in the infirmary. Do you remember what happened?”

“I was at practice,” Enta said. “I was wiping away sweat, and then I… fell? That’s all I remember.”

“You got hit in the head by an errant soccer ball, apparently,” Kazuki said. “Let me go get the nurse.”

Enta was deemed not to have had a concussion, thank goodness, but he was still recommended to stay overnight to be sure. Kazuki stayed nearby during the examination, and sat back down when the nurse was finished with him.

“I admit was pretty scared when Tooi called me,” Kazuki said. “It was hard to listen to him, he was so frantic.”

Enta groaned. “Tooi saw?”

Kazuki bit his lip, seemingly holding back a laugh. “Tooi caused this. I couldn’t get the clearest picture of what happened out of him, but he was acting like he was one-hundred-percent responsible for hitting you in the head.”

“Oh no… He must be feeling so guilty right now.”

“It was hard to get him to leave,” Kazuki said solemnly. “He was so scared you wouldn’t wake up. I told him you’d be upset if you found out he missed the practice game because of you.”

“Damn right I would be,” Enta said. “He… tried to stay, though?”

“It took me, the coach, the captain, and two of your teammates to persuade him to go play,” Kazuki said. “I had to promise him I’d stay the whole time—not that I was planning on anything else.”

“So much fuss over getting hit with a soccer ball,” Enta said groggily. “I must’ve been hit dozens of times over the years.”

“Yeah, but not by Tooi,” Kazuki said, amused. “A direct hit from a star forward? It must hurt a lot.”

“I’m sad I didn’t get to see him play today,” Enta admitted.

“Me too,” Kazuki said. “I was going to pop in after my class.”

“You missed both, didn’t you?” Enta asked. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be,” Kazuki said. “Missing a class won’t hurt me too much.” He found Enta’s hand again and squeezed it. “I’m just glad you’re alright. I mean—I knew you would be, your head is hard as a rock, but there was always that tiny chance…”

Enta laughed. “Live by the soccer ball, die by the soccer ball…”

Kazuki smiled and leaned over to kiss Enta’s forehead. “Does it hurt?”

“Like hell,” Enta said honestly. “Hoping those painkillers kick in soon.”

“Take it easy, for now,” Kazuki said. “I’ll be right here.”

They circled around their usual topics of conversation like the soccer team and class work over the next hour while Enta’s pain gradually lessened, eventually transitioning into grogginess. He tried to stay awake, but slipped back into sleep while Kazuki was talking about something Shia-chan was working on.

When he woke up again, it was to a flurry of commotion surrounding him.

“He didn’t wake up?!”

“Tooi, calm down,” Kazuki scolded. “Be quiet.”

“Why didn’t he wake up? Is he okay? What did the nurse say?”

Enta barely recognized Tooi’s voice for how uncharacteristically panicked it was. His eyelids felt too heavy to open, but he caught a familiar whiff of sweat and grass. “Shut up,” he complained. “You’re so noisy. And you stink.”

“Enta?”

Enta gathered all his strength to sit up, even though his body desperately wanted to keep sleeping. “I’m okay, Tooi,” he said groggily. “Just on some painkillers.”

“You’re not dizzy or anything, are you?”

“No,” Enta said. “I was already checked for a concussion. How was the game?”

“It was—fine, I guess,” Tooi said.

Kazuki had his phone out. “According to my friend, you absolutely decimated them,” he said. “7-0. This is a team we’ve lost plenty of practice games to before.”

“Holy shit, Tooi,” Enta laughed.

“It wasn’t a big deal,” Tooi muttered.

“She said you, personally, scored 6 of those goals,” Kazuki said incredulously. “Are you a demon?”

“I wanted to—to end it quickly,” Tooi said awkwardly. “Their goalie had a weakness. I couldn’t risk overtime.”

Enta laughed. “Seems like there wasn’t even a chance of that.”

Tooi knelt beside the bed. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t realize… I didn’t mean to be so careless. I wasn’t paying attention. I want to know what I can do to make it up to you.”

Enta reached over and put his hand on Tooi’s sweaty head. The game must’ve just ended, if he was still this damp. “It was an accident. It happens. I don’t blame you for it.”

“You should,” Tooi muttered.

“Well, I’m not going to,” Enta said. “You wanna know what you can do to make it up to me, though?”

“What?” Tooi’s blue eyes were hopeful.

“Go take a shower,” Enta said, wiping his hand on his sheets. “And don’t bother coming back tonight. I’ll be back in our room in the morning.”

Tooi opened his mouth to protest, but Kazuki put a hand on his shoulder. “You heard him,” Kazuki said softly. Tooi reluctantly stood and made to leave, looking over his shoulder at Enta.

Enta shooed him away with a gesture. “I promise I’m fine. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

Tooi nodded. “Goodnight, then,” he said, and left.

“Harsh,” Kazuki said when Tooi was gone.

“He needs to calm down,” Enta said grumpily. “And I can’t help it if I’m too drugged up to be patient. I’ll deal with him tomorrow.” He looked at Kazuki. “You should go back, too.”

“I will,” Kazuki said. Enta narrowed his eyes at him, and Kazuki held up his hands defensively. “I promise. But I’ll wait until you fall asleep again.”

It turned out not to take very long, tired as Enta was.

The next morning the nurse checked him over one more time. His head still hurt, but the pain had decreased enough that he didn’t feel the need to take any more painkillers. His memory of last night was fuzzy, but came back to him eventually, and when he was released, he texted Kazuki to let him know he was out.

He considered texting Tooi, too, but the chances of him being awake at that hour to see a message before Enta made it back were slim. Sure enough, when Enta quietly eased open the door to their room, Tooi was fast asleep, tangled up in the sheets like he’d had a rough night. Enta dropped off his stuff and decided to shower before waking him.

Tooi was still asleep when Enta came back and realized he was starving, so he left Tooi behind to go get breakfast. Kazuki’s friend, one of their team managers, had sent him videos from yesterday’s game, including a few of Tooi’s goals. Enta ended up watching those on loop while he ate.

“He’s good, isn’t he?” Kazuki asked, sliding into the seat beside Enta.

“He’s a firecracker,” Enta said, shaking his head. “He should’ve gone professional. He’s wasted on our team.”

“I think he’s exactly where he wants to be,” Kazuki said. “Have you talked to him, yet?”

“He was still sleeping when I got there,” Enta said. “Didn’t have the heart to wake him.”

Kazuki gestured to the video. “Sakaki told me that one of the other managers saw exactly what happened when you got hit. Apparently… he was staring right at you. There’s a rumor going around that he did it on purpose, because he secretly hates being your roommate, or something.”

“What?!” Enta cried. “That’s ridiculous! He wouldn’t do it on purpose!”

“I know, but…” Kazuki looked down at the table. “Just let me know if you need help dispelling any rumors, okay? I’m afraid the team will turn on him if they think he’s hostile towards you.”

“I’ll make sure they know he’s not,” Enta said.

“You think Coach will make you sit out of practice?”

“The nurse already told me to hold back from exercise for a week,” Enta sighed. “There’s no chance of me being in the next game. Not that I had a good chance to begin with.”

“Enta… can I ask?” Kazuki frowned at him, eyes worried. “Do you really enjoy playing soccer, anymore? I feel like something like this would’ve made you—I don’t know, angrier, before.”

Enta smiled sadly, patting his shoulder. “Don’t look like I’m about to break your heart. I still love the sport. I love being on the field and just—being surrounded by it. But I accepted a long time ago that my love is pretty much all I’ll ever have. I don’t have the talent, and all the hard work in the world won’t put me on the same level as someone like you or Tooi. If I couldn’t play anymore, I’d probably still be a manager, just to be a part of it, but as it stands… I’ve accepted where I am. Maybe I’ll work hard enough to make the starting team next year, or maybe some new talent will come in and push me out. I’m okay either way, though.”

“You’re sure?” Kazuki asked.

“I’m sure,” Enta said. “Besides—if I’m playing, how will I watch him?” He tapped his phone to start the video again.

“You’re turning into a fan,” Kazuki teased.

Enta didn’t deny it.

Tooi was awake when Enta returned to the room, though he was still in bed, looking through his phone. He sat up immediately when Enta walked in.

Enta laughed. “Sorry, am I interrupting something?”

Tooi ignored his teasing, getting to his feet and looking him over with concern. “You’re okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Enta assured him. He touched his upper-right forehead. “You left a nasty bump, but that seems to be all.”

Tooi’s hand gently touched the swell of the bump, and before Enta realized what was happening, he was being pulled into a tight hug.

“I’m so relieved,” Tooi said quietly. “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I’d… If you had…”

Enta squeezed him back, probably enjoying the hug more than he was meant to. “It’s not the first time I’ve been hit with a soccer ball, and it probably won’t be the last. But either way, don’t blame yourself. It was an accident.” He loosened his grip, expecting Tooi to let go, but found Tooi only clung harder.

“I’m sorry,” Tooi whispered.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Enta said lightly. “It’s not like you intended to hit me, right?”

“No, but… It’s still my fault,” Tooi said, finally pulling away. “I was… distracted.”

“You said that before,” Enta said, perching on his bed. “What distracted you? You almost never lose focus, from what I’ve seen.”

Tooi rubbed the back of his neck, going to his desk for some reason. “I don’t remember.”

It was a lie, because Tooi was a terrible liar. But why would he lie about something like that? “You sure?”

“Y-yeah,” Tooi said, looking over his shoulder as if to make sure Enta was believing him.

Enta folded his arms. “Is someone on the team bothering you? Do I need to make a report?”

“No, that’s not it!”

“Then why are you lying about it?” Enta asked. “You’re so sure you were distracted, but it seems weird that you can’t remember what it was.”

Tooi sat on his bed, facing Enta. He sighed heavily. “Because I was distracted by you. I’d done the drills so many times I wasn’t thinking about it, and for a split-second, mid-kick, my attention was on you. So it went in your direction.”

Enta frowned. “Me? Was I doing anything… distracting?”

“You—you lifted your shirt to wipe sweat off your face,” Tooi said, looking aside.

“Ugh, I bet I looked like a dumb little kid,” Enta said, disappointed in himself. “Sorry. I should’ve grabbed a towel, but I didn’t want to miss watching your penalty kicks. Sure taught me a lesson not to act like a dumbass.” He laughed. “If you see me doing shit like that again, tell me to quit it, okay? Last thing I want is to distract you.”

“That’s—yeah, okay.” Tooi seemed disappointed for some reason, but Enta couldn’t really read him.

“I saw clips from your game last night,” Enta said. “I’m sad to have missed it. You’re so fucking good. Makes me excited to watch the next one.”

Tooi flushed. “Will you be able to play?”

“Ah, nah,” Enta said, fingering a wrinkle in the blanket. “I’m barred from practicing for a week, though I’m sure there wasn’t a chance to begin with. Nakamura or Ito will get on, I’m sure.”

Tooi covered his face with his hands. “I’m so embarrassed about it,” he whined. “I really am sorry.”

Enta laughed. “I’m not upset with you. Shit happens. Though we may have to play up our friendship for the next few sessions, at least.”

“Play up—what? What does that mean?”

“It means some of the team thinks you intentionally hit me in the head because—I dunno, you don’t like me, for some reason? So we gotta make sure they know we’re friends. I don’t want anyone to think you did it on purpose.” Enta pulled up his legs, sitting cross-legged on his bed. “Though if it sounds like anyone’s giving you shit, tell me, and I’ll set them straight.”

“Do they not already think we’re friends?” Tooi asked.

“Well—we’re kind of friends with most of them,” Enta said. “We don’t really single each other out, so maybe they don’t know how close we are.”

“I—yeah, I guess not,” Tooi said awkwardly.

Enta could tell Tooi was still shaken by the whole thing, and while Enta couldn’t exactly blame him, he felt responsible for easing his distress. He got up from the bed and took Tooi’s head in his hands, shaking it insistently. “Cheer up, Tooi! I’m fine. The worst that happened is I got a bump and I missed watching the game. If you want to make it up to me, just play exactly the same next time.”

“Okay, okay, stop, stop,” Tooi laughed, nudging Enta away. “You’re making me dizzy.”

Enta grinned down at him, happy to hear him laugh. Tooi gave him a cute smile, and Enta again felt his heart flutter inappropriately.

He was just starting to think maybe he should say something about it when someone knocked loudly on their door.

“Oh shit, I forgot,” Tooi said, getting up hastily and forcing Enta to step out of the way. He answered the door, though from where he was standing, Enta couldn’t see who it was. “Sorry, give me two minutes to get dressed.” Tooi looked over his shoulder. “Can my brother come in?”

“Sure,” Enta said. He’d been curious about Tooi’s brother for a while, now.

A tall man sauntered in, dressed in the suit and tie of salaryman, save that his tie was a bold purple and yellow. His dark hair was somehow messier than Tooi’s, and he had what looked to be a toothpick in his mouth—until he took it out and revealed it was a lollipop. “Who’s the shorty? Your roommate’s little brother?”

Enta immediately didn’t like him.

“That’s Jinnai Enta,” Tooi said impatiently as he tugged his t-shirt over his head to replace it with his white dress shirt.

“This is Jinnai? You didn’t tell me your roommate was a middle schooler.”

Enta took back every good thought he’d had about him.

“He’s my age, Nii-san,” Tooi said in a bored tone. He tugged on his pants and pulled out a belt. “Be nice.”

“You had a game last night, didn’t you?” Tooi’s brother asked, completely ignoring Enta. “How’d it go?”

“It was just a practice game,” Tooi said.

“Still.”

“I… scored six goals,” Tooi muttered. He stood in front of the mirror on the closet door to hastily tie his tie. The knot was sloppy, but he was clearly in a hurry to leave. He grabbed his jacket. “Okay, I’m ready. Let’s go.”

“Wait a sec,” Tooi’s brother said, grabbing his shoulder. He stood in front of him and adjusted his tie until the knot was neat. “There. Nice meeting you, Jinnai.” He pulled something out of his pocket and smoothly tossed it to Enta.

Enta caught it reflexively, then scowled to find it was a lollipop.

Tooi shot Enta an apologetic look as the door closed behind them.

Once Enta had gotten past the initial bafflement of that entire scene, he couldn’t help but feel that he’d missed an opportunity to make an impression. Crude or not, that was the person closest to Tooi, and Enta hadn’t been able to say a word to him.

Enta opened the lollipop and stuck it in his mouth, finding a melon flavor. It wasn’t bad. Cheap, but it got the job done. Enta sat down at his desk and pulled out his economics textbook, and a few minutes into studying his phone buzzed with a text.

It was from Tooi. Sorry my brother was so rude, I promise he’s not such a bad guy. I’ll be back after dinner.

Enta resisted the urge to complain, offended though he was. Don’t worry about it. I’ll just be here studying today. Have fun!

Tooi was already feeling guilty, the last thing Enta wanted was to add to it.

Even though he wasn’t required to, Enta still went to every soccer practice. It was annoying to be told to sit on the bench each time, but he enjoyed watching everyone play. During breaks, Tooi would join him in the shade, and as May grew hotter, Enta found himself growing more used to the smell of a sweaty Tooi.

Any rumors about Tooi’s hostility toward Enta must’ve been quickly dispelled, as Enta never heard a thing about them again. Tooi always had a smile on his face when he caught sight of Enta, and they were often laughing together in the locker room. Enta thought maybe Tooi was laying it on a little too thick, but he wasn’t going to complain about it.

The week after, Enta started practicing again, but his week off had caught up to him. He had to push himself harder just to do the simple drills, and all too often he was caught gasping on the sidelines to catch his breath.

He already knew there was no chance of making the starting team in time for the next game, but if he was going to be playing catch-up for much longer, he had his doubts about playing in any game that year. He was having too much fun to let it bring him down too far, but his sad reality was always in the back of his mind at the end of each practice.

The day of the next practice game, which took place on the Friday before Enta’s birthday, Enta was told bluntly by the coach that there was only a slim chance he’d be needed. Still, Enta warmed up with everyone else, listened to the captain’s pep talk, and then took his place on one of the benches.

Enta watched with such rapt attention on Tooi that he didn’t notice who slid onto the bench next to him until he spoke.

“He really is good, huh? It’s much more apparent up close.”

“K-kazuki?” Enta cried. “Should you be over here?”

Kazuki smiled smugly. “Special privilege. You looked lonely.”

Enta hadn’t even noticed he was sitting alone, the rest of the team clustered around the other two benches. “I’m not, really,” he said.

“Of course not, because I’m here,” Kazuki teased. “I just wondered how you were feeling. Coach said you’ve been struggling a little.”

“I’m fine,” Enta said, eyes following the ball at Tooi’s feet. He took a shot, but the goalie blocked him. “Damn. That setup was perfect, too…”

“Does it hurt that you can’t play today?”

“Not much,” Enta said, shrugging. “I kinda already knew I wouldn’t be.”

Tooi took possession of the ball again, but had to pass when it got too crowded. It certainly didn’t take them long to realize they ought to keep an eye on him.

“Is this how it was when you’d watch me?” Kazuki asked quietly.

“Huh?”

“Never mind,” Kazuki said. “Forget I said anything.”

Enta’s mind apparently wanted to do just that, as he couldn’t keep his eyes off of the game. It wasn’t much longer before Tooi scored a goal, and Enta leapt from the bench to cheer for him. When he looked to his left, hoping to cheer with Kazuki, he realized he was alone again.

Puzzling, but Enta guessed he’d just gone to talk to some of the other team members.

When they called the end to the first half, the score was 2-0. The second goal hadn’t been scored by Tooi, but one of the fourth-year forwards taking advantage of the opposing team giving all their attention to Tooi.

Tooi caught Enta’s eyes on him and grinned as he walked off the pitch towards him, but he was suddenly intercepted by the captain, who threw his arm around Tooi’s broad shoulders to talk.

Disappointed, Enta sat back down and kicked at the dirt, sulking like a kid. He’d just wanted to congratulate Tooi on his goal.

Technically, Enta could’ve gone over and talked to him himself, but it wasn’t important—at least, not nearly as important as whatever strategy he was discussing with the captain and coach as he collapsed onto the bench and guzzled down his sports drink. When they moved on to other players, Tooi’s attention became monopolized by his other starting team members, and the fifteen-minute break all but disappeared.

Trying to scrape together enough enthusiasm to overcome his childish disappointment, Enta got up and stretched, hoping to keep his muscles warm. He was in the middle of a lunge when someone came close enough to block the light.

He looked up to see Tooi.

“You’re so loud,” he teased.

“It’s proportional to how good you are,” Enta said mildly. “If you want me to be quieter, start sucking.”

Tooi ducked his head, breathing out a laugh. He tugged off the towel from around his neck. “You mind keeping this for me? The guys keep stealing it, and by the time I see it again, it smells funny.”

Enta took it from him, wrinkling his nose. “Are they perverts or superstitious?”

“I don’t know if I want to find out,” Tooi admitted. The whistle blew, and he hurried off with a wave.

“Give ‘em hell!” Enta called after him.

The other team scored a goal in the first five minutes, and for a while there looked like they might be mounting a comeback, or at least pushing it into overtime. But after another thirty minutes of back and forth, Tooi scored another goal, essentially sealing their fate. They put forth an honest effort in the last ten minutes, but all their attempts failed, and the score remained 3-1.

Enta cheered hard with the rest of the team as they left the pitch. It was only a practice game, but it felt just as good as every other victory he’d been a part of. He barely managed to get close enough to Tooi to drape his towel around his shoulders before the rest of the team swept him away to the locker room.

Enta listened to the coach’s post-game speech just as intently as if he’d played himself, but when it was over, he couldn’t take his mind off of talking to Tooi about the game when they got back to the dorm.

There were only ten showers, so Enta had to wait as the sweatiest of them showered first. When he finished, he heard Tooi’s voice talking to one of the fourth-years. Mikata, it sounded like.

“So, you coming?”

“I don’t know…” Tooi sounded hesitant.

“Come on, you bailed on us last time. Join the party!”

“Who’s all going?” Tooi asked.

“The rest of the starting team, and the other third- and fourth-years, probably,” Mikata said. “Kaneda might not, but there’s guaranteed to be girls there. The managers always invite their friends.”

“And Enta?”

“Jinnai? He’s underage still, isn’t he? And he’s not really…”

“I don’t really want—”

“You should go, Tooi,” Enta said cheerfully, interrupting their conversation by walking past them to get to his locker. “I’m sure it’ll be a great bonding experience.”

Tooi frowned at him. Enta busied himself changing.

“Okay,” Tooi finally said. “Where is it?”

“Hamada’s place, off-campus,” Mikata said. “I’ll take you there, when you’re done changing.”

Enta hung around his locker until they left together, then decided to go back to his dorm alone. He still had some homework he could be working on, though he’d been intending to leave it until Sunday.

As he was leaving the athletic building in a somewhat dejected mood, Kazuki jumped into his path outside, startling him.

“Found you,” he said, smiling. “Let me walk you home.”

“Did you see the whole game?” Enta asked.

“Most of it,” Kazuki said. “Those guys looked tough. Not too tough for Tooi, though.”

“Ah, yeah…”

“How come Tooi left already?” Kazuki asked.

“He’s going to the team party,” Enta said.

“Without you?”

“I wasn’t invited,” Enta said. “Because I’m—underage, I guess. And probably because I’m gay, too, but Mikata wouldn’t come out and say it.”

“Probably ‘cause he knows the captain would yell at him if he heard,” Kazuki said. “But I went to one of those team parties—they don’t care if you’re underage. He was excluding you.”

Enta laughed dryly. “You say that as if I don’t already know. I told Tooi to go. I think he was going to turn them down because I wasn’t invited, but he should really be bonding with the team. They’re more important than me.”

Kazuki sighed heavily. “Enta…”

“What?” Enta demanded. “I’m not going to hold him back from the rest of the team. If they don’t—don’t like me, for some reason…” He blinked back sudden tears.

“You still have that tunnel vision,” Kazuki said quietly.

“What?”

Kazuki took Enta’s hand, squeezing it. “Let’s go back to your room.”

Enta tried not to be conscious of anyone staring at them as they walked back to his building. Kazuki didn’t seem to mind at all, his mouth set in a determined frown as he walked a deliberate pace.

When they got back to the safety of Enta’s dorm room, Kazuki enveloped Enta in a tight hug.

“Kazuki, what’s this about?”

Kazuki kissed his cheek and released him. “You know I love you, right?”

Enta still flushed to hear those words. “Yeah, of course I do.”

“Sit.”

Enta sat on his bed, his back to the pillows as he brought his knees to his chest. Kazuki perched towards the foot of the bed, facing him.

“There are people on the soccer team who don’t like you,” Kazuki said. “They’re jerks, and I hate them.”

“Do you… know who?”

“Mikata, Hamada, and Ogawa are the main three I remember,” Kazuki said. “Maybe Ishida, though he always seemed more reluctant to join in, even though he’s Ogawa’s roommate.”

“So the fourth-years, huh?” Enta said glumly.

“Not all of them,” Kazuki said. “Enohara doesn’t, and he’s probably done a good job of keeping the others in line. But those first three—they talk about you behind your back. They’re massive homophobes.”

“Of course,” Enta said, pulling his knees in closer. “So you knew all of this, but didn’t tell me?”

“I didn’t know what good it would do,” Kazuki said. “I told the coach, of course, who assured me he’d keep an eye on things, and as far as I know, he’s done a good job. You didn’t notice anything. The last thing I wanted to do was kill your enthusiasm for the sport, especially after what happened to me, so I decided you were better off not knowing.” He gave a pleading look. “Can you forgive me?”

“I guess,” Enta muttered. “I probably had more fun not knowing. But why are you telling me now?”

“Because I think Mikata and the others are going to try to drive a wedge between you and Tooi,” Kazuki said. “They want Tooi in their group. He seems to be friendly and popular with everyone, so they might feel like if they can influence him, he can influence everyone else. I would bet good money they were the ones spreading the rumor that he hated you.”

“That rumor didn’t go anywhere, though,” Enta said.

“If you plant enough seeds, one of them is bound to sprout,” Kazuki said darkly.

Enta sighed. “Maybe I should just quit, after all. I’m not really worth all this dra—”

“No,” Kazuki said firmly.

Enta raised an eyebrow. “No?”

“I refuse to let them win against you,” Kazuki said. “That was another reason I never told you—I knew as soon as you found out there was someone on the team who didn’t want you there, you’d give it up. I obviously can’t make you stay on the team, but I know you love being there. Your excitement is unrivaled—no one can say you don’t belong there.”

“But I’m useless,” Enta said. “A waste of space. I’m just—not a good player.”

“You’ve barely been given a chance on this team,” Kazuki spat bitterly. “I guarantee you, if the coach actually put you in with the right set of players, he’d see how useful you are. You’re amazing with assists. But as long as Mikata, Hamada, Ishida, and Ogawa are on the field, your chances of getting the ball are slim. They want you to think you’re useless.”

Enta’s emotions slid from glum sadness to fiery anger, only for the flame to quickly burn out into a bitter dread. “What are they going to say to Tooi, then?”

Kazuki shook his head. “I don’t know. They might ply him with drinks and try to fill him with lies. My only hope is that they’ve grossly underestimated how close he already is to you, and he lets them say something really stupid that reveals what their motive is. Because if the coach gets wind of it from his new star player?” He drew a line across his throat with his finger.

Enta gaped at him. “You really think he’d cut fourth-years?”

“I don’t think he cares if they’re fourth-years or not,” Kazuki said. “If they’re trying to divide up the team, he won’t stand for it. That is, if he’s as decent as he claims to be. I have my reservations about how excited he gets about new talent, but I’d like to think he’d make the right choice here.”

Enta went quiet as he processed all of this. Just the idea that Tooi was partying right now with people who hated Enta made him sick to his stomach. “What if he hates me after this?”

“Who, Tooi?” Kazuki laughed. “There’s no chance.”

Enta frowned at him. “You seem sure. You don’t think he could believe what they say about me?”

“We’re talking about the same Tooi, right? Tooi Kuji? Your roommate who sleeps over there?” Kazuki gestured over to Tooi’s side of the room. “Even putting aside how much he clearly enjoys spending time with you, that guy defended you from your old roommate when he barely knew you. Had he even been here a full day?”

“Yeah, but… that was Shirogane,” Enta mumbled against his knees. “These are his senior teammates we’re talking about.”

“Tooi would pick up a sword and shield and defend you from anyone talking shit about you,” Kazuki said. “Mikata and the rest of them don’t know what they’re up against.”

Enta sighed, his breath coming out more sharply than he expected. “I hope you’re right,” he said, tears forming in his eyes.

Kazuki came closer, putting his arms around Enta’s shoulders. “I am. I might not know him all that well, but I know how to recognize someone that cares about you, and he absolutely does. His loyalty to you should be the least of your worries.”

Enta wanted to believe Kazuki with his whole heart, but he still worked himself into a crying fit worrying about it. More than anything else in the world in that moment, he just didn’t want Tooi to hate him.

They ended up laying together on Enta’s bed, Kazuki holding him from behind. Enta didn’t sleep, and based on Kazuki’s breathing, he didn’t, either, though they laid there for what felt like an hour. There was simply too much on Enta’s mind for him to relax, even with one of his favorite people holding him.

One of… Enta closed his eyes. It wasn’t so long ago Enta could easily call Kazuki his favorite person. No one else even came close. But in two short months Tooi had crept into his life, into his heart, new and exciting yet comforting at the same time. Enta usually didn’t have to think twice about Tooi being on his side—why was he doubting him now?

When did the thought of Tooi hating him become so nauseating and terrifying? He shuddered.

Kazuki pressed a kiss into the back of Enta’s neck. “It’s okay, Enta,” he whispered. “I promise, it’s all okay.” He continued to murmur sweet reassurances, which Enta could admit helped a little, but mostly he just wanted to see Tooi.

As if hearing his thoughts, Tooi came noisily through the door, kicking off his shoes and throwing his gym bag forcefully onto the floor.

He didn’t seem to notice Enta and Kazuki until they sat up.

“Sorry if I’m interrupting,” Tooi muttered. “I’m just—so fucking mad. I need to be somewhere I’m not at risk of punching someone.”

“You’re not interrupting,” Kazuki assured him. “In fact, I’d say you’re a welcome sight, even angry.”

Tooi sat heavily on his bed, his head falling into his hands. He ruffled his hair, growling.

Kazuki went over to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Tell us what they said.”

Tooi looked up curiously. “You knew? You knew about them?” He looked at Enta. “Did you know?”

“I didn’t know anything,” Enta said.

“Before we get too far—let’s make sure we’re all on the same page,” Kazuki suggested. “Who are you talking about, and what did they say?”

“Mikata and his friends,” Tooi said. “They kept—asking me about Enta. I gave them vague answers because I didn’t trust their tone, and I’m glad I did. They eventually tried to get me to admit that I didn’t really like Enta, that I was just pretending to be friends with him, and when I didn’t commit one way or another, Hamada basically admitted he didn’t think Enta belonged on the team because he’s gay.” He gave Enta an apologetic look. “I didn’t want to repeat it to you, but I felt like you should know.”

Enta gave him a pained smile. “It’s okay. Kazuki told me tonight.”

Kazuki folded his arms. “What did you do after that?”

“I—I called them all shithead bigots,” Tooi said. “I said a few more things, too, that I’m not super proud of. Some things that might get me in trouble.”

“What does that mean?” Kazuki asked. “Did you threaten them?”

“To put it mildly,” Tooi said. “You didn’t hear them. They were…” He shook his head. “I don’t want to say any more about it.”

Enta was torn between feeling grateful Tooi was sparing him their words and being morbidly curious about what exactly they said.

“Did they really just drag you to the party to talk shit about me?” Enta asked.

“No,” Tooi said. “They gave me a drink. There was karaoke. A girl hit on me.”

On the outside, Enta didn’t so much as flinch. But in his chest a flare rose up so suddenly it made his stomachache worsen. He wanted to vomit, which he knew was an overreaction, so he focused all his effort on keeping still.

“A girl hit on you?” Kazuki asked. “Was she cute?”

“I don’t know,” Tooi said. “I guess? She was too obvious about it, though.”

“Obvious about what?” Kazuki asked.

“She wanted in my pants,” Tooi said. “Tried to climb in my lap. Asked me to sing a duet with her.”

Enta barely made it to the toilet in time. By now everything was liquid, as he hadn’t eaten since well before the game. He wished it made him feel better, but the only benefit seemed to be that he didn’t feel like throwing up anymore.

“Are you okay?” Kazuki asked from the doorway to the bathroom. “You want some privacy?”

“No, I’m done,” Enta said, spitting some bile into the toilet. He flushed it all away and went to the sink to wash his hands and face. When he rejoined them in the room, Kazuki handed him a bottle of water.

“Sorry,” Enta muttered, returning to his spot on the bed.

“So this girl—you turned her down, right?” Kazuki asked.

Tooi looked more worried for Enta than anything, but he still answered. “I wasn’t at all interested. Eventually she caught on and moved to someone else, and that’s when the fourth-years started talking to me.”

“I’m sorry, Tooi,” Kazuki said. “I should’ve warned you about the parties before.”

“You went to them?” Tooi asked.

“Just one,” Kazuki said. “It was awful. They tried to pretend it was a special invite, because only upperclassmen were usually invited. When I got there, they tried to get me drunk, then got hostile when I refused too many times. It was also there that I learned about some of them having a problem with Enta.”

Enta fidgeted with his bottlecap, more than a little miserable he was never told about any of this.

“Why didn’t you say anything before?” Tooi asked.

“I told the people I thought needed to know,” Kazuki said. “And honestly—I’d forgotten about it. There hadn’t been any problems since then, so I hoped everyone would leave well enough alone. Seems they were just biding their time.”

Silence lingered for a long moment. Enta’s head hurt now, the pain almost too much to think. He should’ve been relieved that Tooi remained on his side, but he couldn’t take any solace in that, for some reason. Perhaps everything else was just too much.

“Are you going to tell the coach?” Kazuki asked Tooi.

“Should I?”

“Probably,” Kazuki said. “At least let him know this is still going on.”

“But what if he confronts them, and they tell him I threatened them?”

“I guess that does complicate things…” Kazuki tapped his chin. “Maybe it would be better to see if your threats stick, first.”

“I can’t imagine they were all that intimidated by me,” Tooi said. “They’re all older and set to graduate next year. But now they know I’m not going to listen to them, it might be tougher to work with them.”

Enta fell onto his side, curling into the fetal position facing away from them.

“Enta, do you want us to leave?” Kazuki asked.

“I don’t care,” Enta said, curling tighter around his water bottle. “Do what you want.”

“Maybe we should leave this for another time,” Tooi said. “Nothing’s going to change tonight.”

Kazuki sighed. “Yeah.” He touched Enta’s shoulder. “You want me to stay with you? Or will you be okay with just Tooi?”

Enta flinched at his touch. “You can go.”

Kazuki must’ve walked away, because when he spoke again, he was quieter. “We’ll talk more tomorrow. Goodnight, you two.” The door closed behind him.

Tooi groaned loudly, and Enta finally turned around to face him, finding him laying back on his mattress.

“I’m sorry, Tooi,” Enta said in a weak voice. “I’ll bet you didn’t come here expecting to have to defend your gay roommate at every turn.”

“I’m not upset at that,” Tooi said. “I’m upset I have to defend you at all.”

“It’s because I’m outspoken about it,” Enta said. “If I’d just learned to shut my mouth, I’m sure no one would bother me.”

Tooi hoisted himself back into a sitting position. “You shouldn’t have to shut up about it. And I don’t think it makes any difference what you say or don’t say. They’re shitty people either way. I’m just glad they told me so plainly, so I don’t have to pretend to be their friends, now.”

“…They make me want to quit,” Enta admitted in a small voice.

“And now I hate them even more,” Tooi spat. “I understand why you might want to, but I wish you wouldn’t. I don’t want to play for a team that has them but not you.”

“Why?” Enta croaked.

Tooi gave him a strange look. “Why would I want to?”

“They’re better players than me,” Enta reminded him.

“I used to play with people who could run laps around them,” Tooi said. “I don’t care about how good they are if I don’t like them as people. And I’ve barely gotten to play with you, because our coach won’t listen to my suggestions on trying different team combinations. I need someone who’s better at reading the field and timing their passes. Someone who doesn’t stand out as a target.”

Enta finally unfurled and sat up. “I’m good at that.”

Tooi smiled. “I know. Kazuki told me. I could’ve used someone like you on the field today, because it never takes them long to figure out they need to cover me.”

Hearing about the game made everything Enta had wanted to talk about earlier spill out of him, praise for Tooi gushing from his mouth so rapidly Tooi barely had time to respond to it. He realized when he was done how much better he was feeling, and finally gathered the courage to ask about something that bothered him.

“About that girl…”

“I really wasn’t interested,” Tooi assured him.

Enta shook his head. “I got that. But I realized—I never asked if you had a girlfriend before. Or any sort of… lover.”

Silence stretched for a long minute, Enta anxious that he’d overstepped by asking.

“I haven’t,” Tooi said. “I’ve had small crushes before, but I’ve never confessed to anyone.”

“Any reason you never confessed?” Enta tried.

“I guess…” Tooi exhaled, leaning back on his palms. “I guess I never thought I was good enough. A poor kid like me had no business asking out the class rep, or the student council president, or my…” He trailed off there, his cheeks going red.

Enta let it go, a little ashamed to embarrass him. “I get it. If you think there’s no chance, you don’t want to bother someone by shoving your feelings onto them. I was like that with Kazuki for a long time, until he noticed himself.”

“What did it take for him to finally notice?”

“I don’t think it was any one thing,” Enta said. “Back then he was pretty dense, but one day he seemed to just have a moment of clarity where he finally saw how I was looking at him. Saved me from having to gather the courage to confess to my best friend.”

Tooi smiled weakly. “Must’ve been nice.”

“It was all great,” Enta said, the memory making him warm. “I was so happy. Even knowing how it all turned out, I wouldn’t want to change anything about that day. We’d just won a regional game, and we’d gone back to my house where my sister made us a celebratory dinner. Kazuki stayed over—which wasn’t unusual back then—and before bed he told me he was grateful to have someone like me as his partner. And he—he kissed me. He asked if it made me happy, and when I said yes, he smiled and said, ‘I thought it might.’” Enta hid his face in his hands, knowing he must be blushing like an idiot. “Sorry. I know I’m embarrassing. But it was just—so unexpected. I’d never had anyone confess to me before, so until then I’d thought I was pretty unlikeable. The short, loudmouthed soccer kid…”

When Tooi didn’t say anything for a long time, Enta assumed they’d exhausted the subject. His stomach gurgled loudly, reminding him it was empty, so he went over to his stash of cup noodles and pulled one out. “You want one? I dunno if you ate anything…”

“I’ll take one,” Tooi said, his voice oddly quiet. “Are you feeling better?”

“Oh—y-yeah,” Enta said, taking out a second done. “Just all the stuff Kazuki was telling me… I guess my stomach didn’t like knowing that people hated me. And… even though I knew you wouldn’t, I was afraid of you hating me, too.” He smiled sheepishly at Tooi. “Sorry.” He picked up the kettle and moved to fill it in the sink.

“Have I done anything to make you think that I’d listen to them?” Tooi asked.

“No, and that’s why I’m sorry,” Enta said as he turned off the faucet. “I shouldn’t have doubted you, not even for a second, but just the thought that you might side with your upperclassmen…” He laughed a little. “I’m weaker than I thought.” He turned on the kettle and sat on his bed to watch it boil.

Tooi disappeared into the toilet for a few minutes, and by the time he came out, Enta was pouring water into the ramen cups. “Set a timer for me, will you?”

Tooi did, and sat next to Enta on his bed. “I’m sorry you had to know about them. I think Kazuki was right not to tell you—their opinions about you are absolutely worthless. The fact that they reached your ears gives them more power than they deserve. If they say anything else, I’m not going to tell you about it.”

“It’s okay, I don’t mind knowing,” Enta said.

“But I do,” Tooi said. “There’s no reason for you to have to listen to them. I’m only telling you now so you won’t get mad at me if you find out later I hid something from you.”

“I’m not a child, Tooi!” Enta snapped at him. “I can handle people being jackasses!”

“But my point is, you shouldn’t have to,” Tooi said calmly. “If I could, I’d erase everything you know about them from your brain, because they don’t deserve to take up even an ounce of your mental energy. They’re not important. They don’t matter. You do.”

Enta didn’t really know what to think. He was spared from having to by the alarm going off. He picked up the chopsticks, muttered a prayer, and started to quietly eat.

As soon as the salty noodles hit his tongue, he started crying. It was terribly annoying, trying to chew and swallow between sobs. He had to blink away tears from his eyes long enough to gather another bite. Eventually his nose grew so stuffed that he had to breathe through his mouth, which was dangerous with food bits in there. He swiftly turned into a coughing mess, with broth, bits of noodles, mucus, and tears all over his face. He had to give up eating, bawling and sniffling like a baby.

His noodles and chopsticks were taken from his hands and replaced by a napkin, which Enta used liberally. Warm arms surrounded him, easing the hurt in his chest but not stopping the tears, which seemed to have been built up for a long time.

Somehow, eventually, he fell asleep in Tooi’s arms, a whiff of Tooi’s scent reaching his clearing nose the last thing he remembered.

Enta woke up alone. It was early, the room bathed in pink from the sunrise, but Tooi’s bed was empty.

It didn’t even look slept in, though it was possible he’d made it before he left.

Enta felt sticky, his head hurting as he got up. He splashed cool water on his face after he’d used the toilet, and decided a full shower would feel good, especially this early.

When he returned to the room and found Tooi still wasn’t there, Enta got dressed and thought some breakfast might make him feel at least marginally better, considering he hadn’t eaten anything but half a cup of noodles the previous night. A fresh wave of hot embarrassment came over him as he remembered how completely out of control his emotions had been.

The cafeteria was as deserted as Enta had expected it to be so early on a Saturday. What he hadn’t expected was to see Shia-chan sitting alone, sipping coffee while reading a book.

“I didn’t know you ate breakfast,” Enta greeted. “Good morning.”

She glanced up at him and shut her book. “Good morning. I don’t usually, but I got kicked out of the room.” She smiled. “Happy birthday, Enta-kun.”

Somehow, Enta had completely forgotten until that moment. “Thank you, Shia-chan. Can I join you, or should I leave you to your book?”

“Please, join me,” she said. “Anything to waste time.”

Enta grabbed himself a tray of food and returned to her table. “Sorry for eating in front of you, but I didn’t eat much last night.”

“Don’t mind me,” Shia-chan said. “I just can’t stomach much food in the morning. I’m only here for the coffee.”

Enta sipped at his miso soup, the light broth settling warmly in his stomach. “Why did Kazuki kick you out?”

“He and Tooi-kun were discussing something that I’d rather not hear,” Shia-chan said mildly. “I imagine you know?”

“I have an inkling,” Enta said miserably. “But yeah—you’re better off not knowing. I’ve wondered, though… Do people give you any problems?”

She put down her coffee with a delicate sigh. “Aside from my family and the institution itself? Not really. I’ve been lucky with my friends. A lot of my classmates are artists, so they already have a predilection for acceptance. Most people don’t pay me any attention, which often works in my favor. And, I imagine, Kazuki shields me from the rest.”

“You think he shields you?”

“I know people speak of me behind my back,” she said. “They ask all sorts of insensitive or invasive questions, but because he’s more friendly and approachable, they ask him instead of me. He almost invites them to. I don’t know what he says, exactly, but he manages to quell their curiosity without revealing anything I’d rather them not know.”

“He’s such a good friend to you,” Enta remarked.

“I think you of all people must know how good of an ally he is,” Shia-chan said.

“Even if I know his personality, he still surprises me every now and then with how thoughtful he is,” Enta said. “He wasn’t always that way. He grew into it, and he’s still growing.”

“Your Tooi-kun seems that way, too,” she said. “Kazuki told me how he threatened that jerk roommate of yours from last year.”

“I don’t really get Tooi,” Enta admitted. “He barely knew me, and yet…”

Shia-chan tapped her coffee cup with a manicured finger. “It’s clear he started with a strong sense of what’s right,” she said. “But I think his motivations grew more personal the closer you two became. When I left this morning, he was sharing that same fierce glint in his eye that Kazuki gets when he’s determined. Whatever they were discussing about you, they were on the same page, and it was rather frightening.”

Enta swallowed a mouthful of bean sprouts. “I just hope they don’t make things worse.”

“They wouldn’t,” she said. “Kazuki keeps my comfort and safety a priority above everything, and I know those two will do the same for you. Like me, you’re lucky in your friends. I wouldn’t worry about it anymore today—they’d want you to enjoy yourself.”

“Thanks, Shia-chan,” Enta said sheepishly. “Are you coming tonight?”

“After the fool I made of myself at Kazuki’s birthday dinner? Sorry, I’m going to pass.” She smiled. “I do hope you three have fun, though. And if you bring me back a drunk Kazuki, I promise I’ll take care of him for you.” She didn’t bother to hide how much pleasure she took in the thought.

Enta laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

It wasn’t long after Enta had returned to the dorm that Tooi came back with a small paper gift bag swinging from his wrist.

“Oh good, you’re up,” Tooi said.

“I’ve been up,” Enta said, arms folded. “I’ve showered and had breakfast with Shia-chan. You’ve been mysteriously absent since dawn.”

Instead of offering any sort of explanation, Tooi approached and held out the paper bag to Enta. “Happy birthday.”

Enta frowned as he accepted it. “I told you, you didn’t need to get me anything.”

“And I chose to ignore that.”

Enta stuck out his tongue at him. “Can I open it now?”

“Please.” Tooi sat on the edge of his bed, his hands fidgeting in his lap.

Enta pulled out a flat, clear box, the bright green candies inside displayed neatly and cheerfully. He glared at Tooi. “You cheated. Kazuki told you about these.”

“If you were allowed to ask me for help with his gift, I felt I should be allowed to ask him for help with yours.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t know anything about Kazuki,” Enta said, already opening the package to get at the candies. He popped one in his mouth. “Kazuki knows everything about me. It’s unfair.”

“What’s unfair is you telling me not to get you anything,” Tooi said.

Enta savored the sweet melon flavor as it touched his tongue and chewed the soft candy slowly. He tossed one of the wrapped candies to Tooi, who caught it deftly. Tooi frowned at it, then opened the plastic. “Kazuki said you don’t really like sweets, but you go crazy for these.”

“They’re a nostalgic candy for me,” Enta explained. “I went on a trip with him and his family to Hakone one summer when we were kids. There was this little candy shop near the onsen we stayed at, and his mother bought us a variety of the fruit candies they had. These were the ones I liked the best.” He frowned. “Did you go all the way to Hakone for these?”

Tooi nodded. “I had my brother take me. There’s—um—something else in the bag, too.”

Enta was just starting to think about how to thank him when he reached inside the bag and pulled out a small package wrapped in tissue paper. It felt like a frame. “What’s this?” He pulled back the tissue paper to reveal a small postcard-sized photo of Lionel Kappa. Enta gasped when he saw a scrawl of black marker in the corner. “Is this real?”

“It is,” Tooi said, his eyes lowering to the floor. “Kazuki mentioned you were fans of his.”

“This is so early,” Enta said, looking at the date of the signature. “He was still a rookie, then. How on earth did you get this?”

Tooi exhaled. “My brother. It was his, and I bought it off of him. He and I were—were fans, too.”

Enta swallowed and held it out to Tooi. “I can’t accept this. This has got to be more important to you.”

Tooi held out his hands, stopping him. “I would be happier if you had it. My brother didn’t want it—he nearly pawned it several times, but he knew I’d be sad if he sold it. It was a game he went to before—before our parents died. He went with our dad, while my mom was at home with me, since I was really young then.”

“Why don’t you want it, then?”

Tooi rubbed his arm, looking aside. “I just…my relationship with my brother and soccer is complex. We’ve fought a lot about it over the years. Things calmed down when money wasn’t as tight, but I couldn’t stop associating that picture with those fights.” He gave Enta a pleading look. “Please accept it. It should make someone happy.”

Enta quickly found he couldn’t resist the puppy-look from Tooi. He turned his back, clutching the frame to his chest. “F-fine. I’ll accept it, on one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“You make one for me, too,” Enta said, sitting back down with his candy.

“What?”

“You heard me.” Enta held up the photo and pointed to it. “Make one like this. Of you.”

Tooi’s brows knitted together. “You actually want that?”

Enta flushed. “Will you do it, or not?”

“O-okay,” Tooi said. “Give me some time, alright?”

Enta held up two fingers. “Two weeks. If I don’t see your photo on my desk, I’m hiding this one with your stuff.” He smiled at the photo. “It’s really thoughtful, though. Thank you, Tooi.”

Tooi smiled, looking relaxed for the first time that morning. “Happy birthday, Enta.”

“You’re sure you want to do this?” Kazuki asked Enta.

Enta took a deep breath and released it slowly. “Yeah. I’m ready.”

“We’re with you,” Tooi said, patting Enta’s back. “You won’t be in there alone.”

Enta nodded, reassured. “Okay, let’s go.”

The three of them stepped into the izakaya, Enta just a step ahead of the other two. Their bellies were full of soba from the restaurant Kazuki took them to, and Enta was now determined to order his first beer at a proper establishment.  

The place was small, the only patrons three older men, each drinking alone. Enta walked right up to the bar and sat down. “A beer, please.”

The middle-aged bartender grabbed a mug automatically, then took a good look at Enta. “Get out of here, kid.” He waved him off with his hand.

Expecting this, Enta pulled out his wallet. “I’m 20 today and this is my first drink. If you want me to remember this as the place that kicked me out for the rest of my life, be my guest. Or, you can serve me my first beer. Your choice.”

The bartender squinted at Enta’s ID and handed it back to him before filling the mug, grumbling to himself. Enta climbed into the seat, flanked by Kazuki on his left and Tooi on his right.

“Take it you two kids want one too?” the bartender asked.

“Yes, please,” Kazuki said. Tooi nodded.

The bartender slid the mug in front of Enta. “Congratulations.”

Enta waited until Tooi and Kazuki were served, then picked up the mug. “To being an adult,” he toasted, raising the mug. Tooi and Kazuki raised theirs, too, and Enta stared at the amber liquid, trying to get his mind to pretend it was a sports drink.

Without thinking twice, Enta started drinking, and didn’t stop until it was all gone. Kazuki cheered as Tooi looked on in horror. Enta slammed down the mug with a heavy exhale, then swayed with a sudden bout of queasiness.

“You okay?” Kazuki asked, patting him on the back.

Enta let out a huge belch, immediately easing the nausea. “Yeah, fine. Gimme another.”

Tooi laughed. “Careful, now.”

They carried on their conversation from dinner, discussing their respective grade school soccer experiences. Though the next two beers went down more slowly than the first, they ended up not staying long, as Enta was truly feeling the effects by the time he reached the bottom of the third. He knew on an intellectual level he could probably get drunker, but he didn’t want to end the night vomiting, passed out, or both. He didn’t pay much attention to how much his companions were drinking, but Kazuki had descended into giggles more than once, and Tooi remained his normal, calm self.

Enta just had a pleasant buzz, his head feeling lighter than usual and laughter coming to him more easily. He didn’t notice the slight dizziness until he stood from the bar stool, but once Tooi steadied him, he didn’t stumble. Kazuki paid for their drinks as part of Enta’s gift, and they left the izakaya.

The evening was pleasantly cool after such a warm day, and Enta walked with his friends in a contented haze back to the school. They were lucky Tooi wasn’t a lightweight, as Enta wasn’t sure he’d remember the way back as he was, and Kazuki seemed worse off than him.

“I hope you enjoyed your birthday,” Kazuki said, throwing his arm around Enta’s shoulders. He squished his cheek against Enta’s face. “I can’t believe you’re 20 now. You grew up so fast!”

Enta giggled. “How old are you?”

“My baby’s all grown up!” Kazuki yelled, sniffling. “He’s not a kid anymore!”

“Quiet down,” Tooi scolded, though he was laughing, too.

“I still can’t believe this is all you wanted to do,” Kazuki slurred. “We should’ve gone to karaoke or something.”

Enta made a face at him. “Why? So you could show us how much better of a singer you are?”

“Then, an arcade,” Kazuki suggested.

“So we could waste a bunch of money failing at arcade games?” Enta shook his head. “This was all I wanted.”

“You’re so boring,” Kazuki complained. “I’m going to go play with Shia-chan.”

Enta laughed. “Go for it. I’m sure she’s looking forward to it.”

Kazuki stopped walking and put his hands on either side of Enta’s head. “Can I? Do I have your permission?”

“Of course,” Enta said, blinking. Why was he so close? “I was probably just going to go back and sleep, anyway.”

“Let us walk you there, though,” Tooi suggested.

“You promise you’ll be okay?” Kazuki asked, his voice lower and quieter.

“I—I promise,” Enta said, more than a little bewildered by his seriousness.

Kazuki kissed him full on the lips, then released him. “Thanks.” He hurried off to his building, making Tooi and a stunned Enta rush to catch up to him.

Once Kazuki was safely inside with Shia-chan—who, Enta noticed, seemed particularly delighted as Kazuki fell into her waiting arms—Enta felt a sudden wave of tiredness come over his body. He had a little trouble making it back down the stairs, and even stumbled on the last few steps. His world spun, and he had the vague sensation of falling until he hit something warm and familiar.

“Oh, Tooi… Thanks.” He made no effort to pull away from his chest. It was too comfortable.

“Can you walk?” Tooi laughed.

“Yeah, probably.” Enta straightened and walked a few steps towards the entrance of the building, though it kept moving from side to side for some reason.

“You’re lucky it’s after hours,” Tooi muttered, steadying him. Enta didn’t really know what he meant by that—he was perfectly capable of looking sober.

Once they were outside, Tooi crouched down with his back turned to Enta. At first Enta thought he was tying his shoes, and let his eyes wander around the grounds while he waited.

“Climb on,” Tooi said.

“Huh?”

“Climb on. I don’t want anyone in our building to see that you’re drunk.”

Enta took a couple of seconds to ponder the logistics of it, but eventually he just draped himself along Tooi’s back and put his arms around his shoulders. Tooi stood up, supporting Enta below the thighs.

“Wow, I’m so high up,” Enta said, looking around to enjoy the view.

“Shut up,” Tooi muttered. “Hold on tight.”

Enta did as he was told. “So warm… How come you’re not ok with them seeing me drunk, but you don’t mind being seen giving me a piggy-back ride?”

“I don’t want them thinking they can come mess with you,” Tooi said quietly. “I don’t care what they say about me.”

Enta pressed his cheek to Tooi’s shoulder. “So noble…”

It was a slow ascent up to the third floor, but they somehow didn’t run into anyone. Everyone was either holed up in their rooms or out enjoying the night. Tooi opened their door and kicked off his shoes before depositing Enta on his bed.

Enta fell onto his back with his feet in the air, and Tooi turned around to assist in taking off his shoes for him.

“Well, I hope you enjoyed your birthday,” Tooi said, putting Enta’s shoes on the floor. “Maybe we can go out again for something more casual, next time.”

Alone on his bed, Enta found he missed the warmth and closeness. He reached out, making grabby hands towards Tooi.

“What is it?” Tooi laughed, coming closer. He perched on the edge of the bed and leaned over, and Enta pulled him down into a hug.

“Warm…” Enta sighed.

“Of—of course I’m warm, I carried you up three flights of stairs.”

A part of Enta must’ve realized he was doing too much, as he let go not long after, even though he didn’t want to. “Thank you for looking after me. You’re always looking after me.”

Tooi’s smile as he looked down at Enta was so gentle. Enta’s heart started thumping so loudly, he was sure Tooi would hear.

Enta swallowed. “I guess there was one thing I didn’t get to do… for my birthday…”

“What’s that?”

“I didn’t make out with the first guy who’d have me,” Enta said.

Tooi’s expression didn’t falter. “Kazuki kissed you.”

“Kazuki’s weird. Also, a single kiss isn’t making out.”

“I thought you wanted kisses to mean something,” Tooi reminded him.

A kiss from you would mean a lot, Enta thought, but even drunk, couldn’t bring himself to say. He wished Tooi could read his mind, just this once. “I think kisses on my birthday would mean something.”

Tooi ran a hand through his hair. “Hmm. That’s kind of tough, because I don’t think I’ll let you leave this room as you are.”

Enta’s ears went hot. Was he really implying…? “I guess I can make do with present company,” he said, sitting up against his pillows. “But only if he’s willing.”

“He might be,” Tooi said, sliding closer. “He might’ve wanted to do this for a long time.” He cupped Enta’s cheek with his big hand, his thumb siding tenderly across the skin.

Enta felt like he had a million things he wanted to say or ask, but everything whooshed out of his brain the moment Tooi’s lips were on his. Tooi eased into it, softly and hesitantly, but as soon as Enta let himself relax into it, Tooi tilted his head to deepen the kiss.

Is this what real kisses feel like? Enta wondered. Is this what all the practice was for?

Even so, he felt woefully unprepared. It was much like his first kiss with Kazuki, with his pulse roaring in his ears and with no idea what to do with his hands, but there was a point of comfort to anchor himself to. A point of trust, of safety, wrapped around the excitement in knowing that Tooi wanted this.

Tooi’s tongue slipped in, and Enta groaned involuntarily. This was different, but in a way he couldn’t really describe. Tooi had his own taste, his own scent, his body bigger and stronger yet gentler than Kazuki’s. Enta’s fingers let go of the sheets he was clutching and reached out to Tooi, wanting to feel him and bring him closer. Enta barely had to urge him before Tooi shifted, climbing fully onto the bed and on top of Enta, his body just subtly pressing him into the pillows. Warm and solid, Enta clung to him like a lifeline saving him from drowning. He ran his fingers along the body he’d spent far too long admiring, simply in awe that was allowed to do it at all.

He let the sensations take over his mind, let Tooi lead, and let his body simply respond to him. Everything was so sweet, so raw, so addicting that Enta never wanted this feeling to end.

But Tooi slid his hand downwards, fumbling with the button of Enta’s shorts, and it was suddenly far too much for him to handle. He pushed back, breaking the kiss.

“I can’t?” Tooi asked, his voice quiet, his breath hot on Enta’s face.

“Sorry,” Enta said. “Not—not never. But not now.”

“With all those rumors about you, I’d thought you’d be more eager,” Tooi teased.

Enta would’ve been severely offended if Tooi’s tone hadn’t made it absolutely clear that he was joking. Still, it earned him a light hit on the arm.

Tooi rubbed his arm. “Ow.”

Enta rolled his eyes. “I barely hit you, and it’s less than you deserve for ruining the mood.”

“Sorry,” Tooi said, and seemed to mean it. He leaned back down and kissed Enta’s cheek. “You okay?”

Enta kissed him back. “Mm, yeah. It’s just—too fast.”

“I get it,” Tooi said softly.

“I meant what I said, though. Not never.”

Tooi pulled back and smiled. “I understood. But what now?”

“Now? I…” Enta had to think. What else did he want? He pulled Tooi down, urging him to lay beside him, then took off his glasses and set them on the bedside table. He kissed him again, briefly, and settled his head on Tooi’s chest. Tooi’s arm went around Enta’s shoulders, allowing him to get even closer. “I want to know what’s on your mind.”

“Same thing that’s been on my mind since we met,” Tooi said.

“Really?” Enta asked. “Wait—what exactly do you mean?”

“I mean I—I’ve been fascinated by you since the day I moved in,” Tooi said. “When I accidentally woke you up, and you immediately offered to help... I was too nervous to be friendly, but you were so patient with me. Thoughtful. I’d never met anyone like you, before.”

Enta laughed. “I’ll bet. I’ll bet you never met anyone who announced that he was gay within ten minutes of meeting him, either.”

“When I came to this school, I was a little… intimidated,” Tooi said. “I didn’t know anyone, and because of my scholarship, I had to stay in the student housing with a stranger. Even if I didn’t know what to make of you, you went out of your way to put me at ease. You and Kazuki showed me around without my even asking, and I’m certain those tips were the only thing that allowed me to get to class on time, that first week.”

“We remembered what it was like,” Enta said.

“Even still, you had no obligation to be nice. And learning about what happened to you last year… I knew immediately you didn’t deserve it.” He tightened his hold on Enta. “And when you told me how you protected Shirogane, even after all the shit he put you through, I think that was when…”

Enta lifted his head. “When what?”

Tooi gave a weak smile. “When I realized I was falling for you.”

“That quick?”

“Well, it was a tiny spark then,” Tooi said. “But it was there.”

“Even though I’m… a guy?”

“I’ve never come out and said it, but I thought I made it pretty obvious early on that I wasn’t straight,” Tooi said, his tone amused. “It’s still crazy to me you never noticed, or asked.”

“I mean, I didn’t want to assume one way or the other,” Enta said. “Asking just seemed rude. I know how personal it is for people.”

“It’s not something I announce, yeah,” Tooi said. “I’ve liked both, for the record. Gender doesn’t seem to matter that much to me. The first two people I liked were girls, but then in high school…”

“A guy?”

Tooi exhaled. “Yeah. My teammate. I didn’t even recognize it as a crush at the time—I just thought he was a good friend. Someone who made me happy to be around. But then he got a girlfriend, and I got…”

“Jealous?”

“I never said as much, but that’s probably what it was,” Tooi said. “Mostly, he just seemed less appealing to hang out with. We grew distant, outside of soccer. I complained about it to my brother at the time, and he talked me through how I was probably attracted to him. It was… eye-opening, to say the least. It put a lot of odd feelings I had into perspective. Made it easier to tell with the next guy I liked, too.”

“Was that—”

“Kazuki,” Tooi said.

Enta lifted up, narrowing his eyes at him. “Kazuki?”

“I’m kidding,” Tooi said, laughing. “It’s only ever been you. Kazuki’s nice, but he seemed… I don’t know. Kind of reserved? Like he’s hiding something. And whenever we talked, he always seemed to talk about you.” He shook his head. “You’re the only one I had any serious thoughts about. You’re the one who I…”

Enta blinked at him patiently.

“Who I just—enjoy being with,” Tooi finished, his expression shy. “Even after seeing you every day for two months, I’m still happy whenever I see you, and I feel like it’s only gotten more intense as time went on. When you cheer me on during practice, or at a game, it’s like a fresh shot of adrenaline every time. You have this—incredible spirit that makes me want to do my best for you. I’ve never met anyone like you before.”

It was Enta’s turn to be shy, as it was getting too intense to look into Tooi’s eyes anymore. He lowered his head and squeezed Tooi’s torso. “I admit I spent a little too long trying to compare you to Kazuki,” he said. “You play a lot like he did, and at first I was afraid I might be trying to replace him with you. But I’ve liked you for a long time, I just never thought you’d return my feelings. The last thing I wanted was for you to feel uncomfortable because I went a little too far.”

“I hope you know you never made me uncomfortable.”

“I’m glad,” Enta said. He pulled himself out of Tooi’s arms and sat up. “Then just let me say… I like you. I’m your biggest fan.” He grabbed Tooi’s hand and held it between his own. “Please go out with me.”

Tooi grinned and reclaimed his hand to grip Enta’s wrist, pulling him back down on top of him. Enta fell clumsily with most of his body weight landing on top of Tooi, but Tooi didn’t seem to mind. He wrapped his arms around Enta and squeezed him tight. “I will. Gladly. I like you, too.”

When Tooi loosened his grip enough for Enta to catch his breath, they started kissing again. It was less intense—more an affirmation than exploration, but it was just as sweet, Tooi’s body just as close and warm as before, if not moreso now that Enta was laying on top. He felt Tooi’s erection press against him, but only gave it a passing thought for now—he wanted more mental preparation and talking before they got to that point.

They stayed in bed together all that night, only parting when one of them had to get up to go to the bathroom. They talked and laughed and kissed some more, and eventually let themselves fall asleep, even though Enta wanted to stay up all night learning about Tooi’s feelings for him.

In the days that followed, Enta felt like he was on top of the world, and things only got better from there. Kazuki and Tooi brought up their concerns about the fourth-year soccer players to the coach and captain, and after what felt like hours of discussion with Enta waiting nervously outside, the coach suspended them for three games. Kazuki and Tooi weren’t thrilled at the outcome, but Enta, who wasn’t expecting any consequences, was more than content. With those three off the starting team, he was allowed to play alongside Tooi, and finally able to prove his worth enough to secure a spot for himself.

He tried not to let their visible bitterness get to him. He knew there was a good chance they’d try to retaliate somehow, but Enta wasn’t afraid when he had Tooi and Kazuki on his side.

And two weeks after his birthday, Enta found himself getting ready for his first real date with Tooi.

“We need to get you a better wardrobe,” Kazuki commented, frowning at Enta’s closet. “I remember half of these from high school, and at least one of these shirts you’ve had since middle school.”

“Just pick something,” Enta whined. “I can’t go shopping now, and I’m trusting you to help me.”

“I don’t know why you’re so worried,” Kazuki said, pulling out one of Enta’s few button-downs. It was a cheerful pale yellow. “He sees you every day, I really don’t think he cares at all what you’re wearing.”

“I want him to know I’m taking this seriously,” Enta said. “So far it’s felt like we’re just friends who kiss. No offense.”

“None taken,” Kazuki said mildly. “So you’re thinking…tonight?”

“I don’t know what will happen,” Enta said, flushing. “But I want him to know that he’s worth some effort.”

“Do you know where you’re going?”

“Not sure,” Enta said. “No place fancy, I know that much, since we’ve already agreed to split the bill. But he’s taking me to his old neighborhood, so it must be a place he knows.”

“Sounds romantic,” Kazuki sighed. “Then he can take you around his old neighborhood and tell you stories of his past.”

Enta hadn’t thought of it from that angle, but now he was looking forward to it even more.

“Put this one on,” Kazuki said. “The shorts you have on should be fine, but I want to do something else with your hair.”

Enta stood and did as he was told while Kazuki took a seat in Enta’s desk chair.

“What’s this?” Kazuki picked up the photo frame from the desk.

“Oh, that,” Enta laughed. “Tooi gave me that this morning. I made him promise to give me one to match the Lionel Kappa he gave me for my birthday.”

Kazuki hummed, impressed. “It’s a good photo. Vibrant colors. And this blurry blob in the back is you, isn’t it?”

“Oh shit, is it?” Enta leapt onto his bed, taking the frame from Kazuki to look at it more closely. It was hard to tell, but the blob really looked like it could be him. “I didn’t even notice.”

“Too distracted by Tooi, I bet,” Kazuki teased.

Enta smiled at it. “Shia-chan did a good job, didn’t she?”

“Wait—Shia-chan took this?!” Kazuki grabbed it back.

“I’m surprised she didn’t tell you,” Enta laughed, getting back up. He finished buttoning his shirt, then checked himself in the mirror.

“I didn’t even know she went to your game,” Kazuki said. “She never said anything to me about it.”

Enta wasn’t about to try and understand Shia-chan’s motives for keeping something like that from Kazuki.

“I wonder if I can get her to take some of you for me…” Kazuki pondered.

Ah, that was probably it.

Kazuki put down the photo. “So where is Tooi now? Shouldn’t he be getting ready, too?”

“He texted me half an hour ago to confirm he’d be back in time,” Enta said. “He’s off with his brother, this afternoon.”

“Are they close?”

“I guesso,” Enta said. Tooi hadn’t shared much of his past with Kazuki, so Enta didn’t really want to elaborate. “He used to visit Tooi more often, but now it seems they keep it to once a week.”

“Does he know you and Tooi…?”

“Pretty sure he was the first one Tooi told, if not the only one,” Enta said. “He knew Tooi wasn’t straight before Tooi did. And as much as I don’t like the guy, he seems pretty happy for us.”

“Oh yeah, he thought you were a middle-schooler,” Kazuki laughed.

“He apparently offered to give us a ride tonight, but Tooi turned him down,” Enta said, taking a comb to his hair. “Thank goodness. I think Tooi was afraid he’d get nostalgic and try to join us for dinner.”

Kazuki came over and took the comb from Enta. “Sit. I can’t imagine how lame it would be to be chaperoned by your date’s older brother.”

“Would you do it for Haruka?”

Kazuki wrinkled his nose. “Depends on the date. Hold still.” He’d brought some sort of hair wax with him, and put some on his palms before running his hands through Enta’s hair. “I’d like to think that he’d be fine on his own, but if I didn’t like who he was going with…”

“You’re still protective of him,” Enta commented.

“Of course I am,” Kazuki said. He went to the sink to wash his hands before picking up Enta’s comb. “But he’s getting older, and I’m not around as much, so I guess I have to learn to have some faith in his choices. Lucky for me, he’s not dating yet.”

“As far as you know,” Enta said.

Kazuki’s hands stilled. “You think he’d lie to me?”

“If he thought you might react badly? Yeah, absolutely.” Enta grinned at him. “As a little brother, I sure did.”

Kazuki frowned deeply. “Haruka’s a better little brother than you.”

Enta laughed. “Ouch.”

Kazuki stuck his tongue out in concentration as he artfully combed Enta’s hair, working at it for a good ten minutes before he considered himself done. “I can’t do anything about your cowlick, but I think it’s good as it is.”

Enta had never really styled his hair before, but Kazuki had parted it off-center and swept his bangs out of his forehead in a graceful curve. It looked strange at first, like someone else was staring back at him in the mirror, but after a moment of trying to look at it objectively, Enta thought it was kinda nice. It looked even better when he put his glasses back on.

“Handsome,” Kazuki remarked affectionately.

Enta blushed. “Thanks for your help.”

“Thank Shia-chan,” Kazuki said. “She’s made me more confident with hair. Actually, speaking of her… I have something I need to tell you.”

His serious tone made Enta tear his eyes away from his reflection. “What is it?”

“We’re moving,” Kazuki said. “This summer.”

Enta’s heart sank. “Are you transferring schools?”

“No, no, no, of course not!” Kazuki said, rapidly shaking his head. “But we’re moving off-campus. Shia-chan… really needs her own place to bathe.”

“But your scholarship—”

“Was only extended through this year,” Kazuki said. “I’m not losing much by giving up housing, and my parents agreed to pay all the rent for the new place.”

Enta gaped at him. “Your parents did? Does that mean…?”

Kazuki nodded solemnly. “They know everything. I told them last week. They haven’t met her yet, but we’re going to lunch with them tomorrow, and she’s terrified.”

“But they’re supportive?” Enta asked.

“Very,” Kazuki said, rubbing his arm. “I guess I did a good job conveying how much she means to me. So Shia-chan and I looked at apartment listings, and we found a few we want to look at tomorrow with my parents.”

“Kazuki…” Enta pulled him into a tight hug. “I’m so happy for you.”

“Be happier for Shia-chan,” Kazuki said, squeezing back. “She won’t have to share public showers with guys anymore.”

Enta pulled back. “I thought you went down with her to the bath houses.”

“It wasn’t practical to go every time,” Kazuki said. “She’d sometimes shower super early in the morning, or very late at night. It’s not healthy, the amount of anxiety she has to live with in there. I just want her to have a place where she’s completely comfortable.”

Enta ruffled Kazuki’s hair. “You’re such a good friend to her.”

Kazuki smiled sheepishly. “I try to be. I even asked her if she’d rather live by herself, at least while I stayed out the rest of my scholarship in the dorm, but she said no. I’ve apparently cemented myself as her security blanket, so I’m stuck with her for the time being. Her words, not mine; I love sharing a place with her.”

“I think anyone who knows her would have guessed that would be her answer,” Enta said. He sat down on the bed. “I’ll miss having you nearby, though.”

“We’ll still be in walking distance,” Kazuki said, sitting beside him. “But instead of 5 minutes it’ll probably take more like 15 or 20 to get there from here. We’ll still eat in the cafeteria together.” He took Enta’s hand. “You’ve got someone else’s arms to cry into, now. You don’t have to run to me, anymore.”

“I didn’t run to you to cry.”

“I don’t know why you’re trying to lie to me,” Kazuki said, and pressed a kiss to his warm cheek.

Just then, the door opened. Tooi walked in with a somewhat expectant smile.

“We’ll talk tomorrow night,” Kazuki whispered, squeezing Enta’s hand before releasing it to stand. “Be good to him, Kuji. I’ll know if you’re not.”

Tooi straightened his back and looked down on him with cold eyes. “He doesn’t need your concern, Yasaka.”

They glared at each other for a stretch of about three seconds before they both laughed. Kazuki patted Tooi’s shoulder as he stepped past him towards the door. “You two have fun. Let’s eat dinner in the cafeteria tomorrow, okay?”

“Sure,” Tooi agreed.

“Tell Shia-chan I said hi!” Enta called as Kazuki left. Left alone, Enta felt himself smiling like an idiot when he looked at Tooi. “Welcome back.”

Tooi stared at him, his eyes lingering on Enta’s hair. “Thanks.”

Enta stood, gravitating towards him. “Does it look too weird?”

“Not at all,” Tooi said, his arms opening. “You look good.”

Enta fell against him, sticking to him like a magnet, though he was careful not to muss his hair. “How’s your brother?”

“Insufferable as usual,” Tooi said. When Enta pulled away, Tooi reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a box, frowning at it. “He gave me another one.”

Enta snatched it from him. “Again? Just how much sex does he think we’re having?”

“I tried to tell him I didn’t need it, but he insisted, and I was tired of arguing.”

Enta sighed at the box of condoms and put it in his nightstand with the other two unopened boxes. Or—he tried to, but it wouldn’t fit. “Maybe it should go in yours,” he said, handing it back. “For convenience.”

Tooi took it and put it away. “Should we put some in our desk drawers, too? In case we happen to be doing it in a slightly different corner of our room and don’t want to walk three steps?”

“Maybe put one in your locker?” Enta laughed, but then flushed at the idea. He shook his head to clear it of that thought and sat back down on his bed. “Does he just not believe you that we haven’t done it yet?”

“Hard to say,” Tooi said. “I’d like to think he knows I won’t lie to him, but this is new territory. I’ve never dated anyone before.”

“I guess I could forgive him for being cautious,” Enta said. “But tell him it’s a little creepy he’s so concerned about his adult brother’s sex life.”

“That would require him to acknowledge that I’m an adult, first,” Tooi laughed. He took off his jacket and hung it up, then started unbuttoning his dress shirt.

Enta loved that he could watch without feeling ashamed, now.

“You don’t want to wear your suit on our date?” Enta teased.

“I already told you, we’re not going anywhere fancy,” Tooi said. “Besides, it’s too hot. I was actually wondering if we could go a little early and swing by to see Mitsuko-san, first.”

“As long as you set yourself a time limit,” Enta said.

“I’ll be good,” Tooi promised. “I just wanted to let her know I revived the bird’s nest fern I took last time. I think I’ll ask her if she has a smartphone. I’d like to send her pictures.”

Enta looked at their small collection of plants in the corner near the window and pointed to the one with the crinkly leaves. “That was this one, right?”

“Right.”

“Nerd.”

Tooi came over, shirtless, and leaned over Enta, planting his fists on the mattress. “You like this nerd.”

Enta swallowed to have him so close. “I do. I like him a lot.”

“Good.” Tooi kissed him softly. “Because this nerd likes you, too.”

Enta giggled as Tooi started kissing down his chin and neck. “Shouldn’t we go soon?”

“But you’re so handsome,” Tooi whined.

“Will I not be handsome when we get back?”

Tooi inclined his head. “Fair point.” He gave Enta one more swift kiss to his cheek, then went off to find another shirt.

Enta didn’t know if tonight would be the night, but the longer he watched Tooi change his clothes, the more it stuck in his mind as a possibility. Tooi hadn’t tried to escalate things since that first night, even though Enta had secretly wished he would, more than once. It was Enta’s step to take, though, and so far, he’d been mostly content in getting to know Tooi’s other pleasant physical aspects.

Despite his nerves about the act itself, though, Enta knew in his heart that Tooi would be gentle and patient with him as they figured it all out.

 “Ready?” Fully dressed now, Tooi checked his hair in the mirror.

“Yeah,” Enta said, coming to stand beside him. He smiled at their reflection, liking the way they looked together. “I’m ready.”