Work Text:
Bokuto didn't mind wearing his emotions on his sleeve. He was fine with those around him knowing exactly how he was feeling, whether he was laughing or crying or sighing dramatically. Akaashi...minded. Sure, it wasn't like he tried to hide any and every emotion from everyone, but he was never one for big emotional displays, the notable exception being the day he had all but thrown himself into Bokuto's arms after winning a game. Normally, he laughed, but quietly. He never really lost his temper, and he certainly hadn't cried. At least until now. So why was he? Bokuto had no idea, and didn’t know what to do. It had even taken him a few minutes to realize that what he was hearing was crying, because like so much about Akaashi, it was quiet. Reserved. Kept to himself. But it was impossible to mistake it for something else now. The soft muffled hiccups and shaky breaths coming from beside him where Akaashi was sitting still seemed all too audible in the quiet of a bus full of mostly asleep teenagers.
“Akaashi?” He almost whispered. It was silent for a moment
“Yes, Bokuto-san?” If he hadn’t just heard Akaashi crying, he probably wouldn't have noticed the waver in his voice, though it was already remarkably even.
“What's wrong?”
“Nothing, Bokuto-san. I’m fine.” he said evenly without looking at Bokuto, opting to continue staring out the window instead.
“You were crying.” He pointed out. “Crying and fine don't really go together. Are...are you ok?” Bokuto asked nervously after a few moments of Akaashi not responding.
“Yes, yes,” Akaashi said, clearing his throat. “I said I’m fine.”
“Are you sure? If you want to talk about it, you can tell me anything.”
“That's not necessary.” Akaashi muttered.
“Well yeah, but that doesn’t mean it’s not important.” Bokuto said with a shrug, and he watched Akaashi’s reflection in the window as he blinked a few times, face shifting, in small ways, through a plethora of emotions, not seeming to be able to find one to land on.
“I…” He started, and Bokuto noticed him fidgeting with his hands. He looked down and Bokuto swore he saw tears in that reflection. “I miss this.” He said quietly. Bokuto tilted his head a little.
“‘This’?” He asked. Akaashi sighed in frustration and rubbed his eyes.
“This.” He repeated, gesturing generally to the bus, and down towards the duffel bags at their feet, and at Bokuto himself. “It makes no sense, but I miss being vice captain. I miss studying with you, and going to training camp. I miss going to tournaments with the team, our team, and I miss setting to you, and I...I miss you.” He said the last few words as he finally looked up, making eye contact with Bokuto, eyes brimming with tears as he sat there, looking entirely helpless and frustrated and heartbroken. And Bokuto didn’t know what to say, for once, having never seen Akaashi this expressive, or anywhere near this upset. He pulled Akaashi into a hug, and there was no resistance, just a small sob as Akaashi almost curled into the hug, like it was a shelter. And Bokuto was quiet. He held Akaashi, letting him cry. It was still soft, still quiet and subdued, though how much Akaashi was shaking and how damp Bokuto’s shirt was getting showed the emotions Akaashi was experiencing were anything but. A few moments later, Akaashi pulled away, though he seemed a little reluctant, and started wiping his eyes again.
"I'm sorry." he said, looking down. Bokuto tilted his head.
"Why? You didn't do anything you need to apologize for." He said. Akaashi opened his mouth, before closing it and nodding reluctantly. Bokuto continued. “What did you mean by saying you missed those things?” he asked, and Akaashi hesitated. After a few moments he sighed and lightly dropped his head against the window.
“I...I don’t know how else to say it. I miss those things.” He said miserably, staring out the window.
“But...why do you miss them if they’re not over yet?” Bokuto asked, a little puzzled. Sure, he was sad about leaving the team, the school, Akaashi, all of that. But it wasn’t over yet, and he was going to revel in it while he had it. Akaashi sighed.
“I don’t know.” He said flatly, voice heavy. "But," He started, voice going softer and almost cracking. "It hurts." Bokuto reached an arm out and wrapped it around Akaashi’s shoulders.
“Ok.” He said simply. Sometimes, emotions just needed to be felt. Akaashi shifted against Bokuto as the tears started back up. It was around ten minutes and a whole travel size pack of tissues before Akaashi finished crying, leaving him looking unsteady and exhausted.
“All better?” Bokuto asked with a smile.
“No.” Akaashi responded. “But,” He said, looking up at Bokuto. “I believe this helped. Thank you.” Bokuto wrapped his arms around Akaashi again.
“Anytime! And don’t forget, we do still have more time. You’re not done being my setter yet! Or my friend!” He reminded Akaashi, hoping it was the right thing to say. After all, Akaashi was so good at cheering Bokuto up, he wanted to be able to return the favor. Akaashi smiled weakly, but genuinely.
“No, I’m not.” He agreed.
“Do you want to keep talking? Or watch something on my phone? Or something else?” Bokuto asked. Akaashi laughed. It was small, just a chuckle, really, but it was music to Bokuto’s ears after hearing him cry for so long.
“Watching something will be fine, Bokuto-san.” Bokuto grabbed his phone and unlocked it as Akaashi grabbed his duffel bag and set it on both of their laps to use as a makeshift table for the phone. Twenty minutes later they were leaning on each other, each with one earbud in, both half asleep, when Akaashi mumbled something, something Bokuto almost didn’t hear.
“I think I miss you the most.”
“I’ll miss you more.” He murmured, but Akaashi was already asleep.