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It shouldn’t be this hard.
Really, Lan Zhan has seen his brother cutting all kinds of vegetables and even meat with mastery, has seen him turning dubious-looking bowls into delicious food that leaves him wishing the next day to come to have a bit more.
Worse than this, Lan Huan makes it look so easy.
“A-Zhan, you’re going to chop your finger off…”
With an exasperated sigh, he ends up setting the knife down and pushing away the poor carrot mutilated by his clumsy hands. “I’m sorry, brother, I have homework to do.”
Lan Huan, however, knows him too much to let him go just like that, so his hand reaches to hold his wrist before he can flee. “A-Zhan, you’re been too harsh on yourself, cooking takes a lot of practice and passion.”
“I know,” He replies, looking away from him. “Thank you for your help, brother.”
With a sigh, his brother nods and lets go of his hand. “A-Zhan…”
“It’s fine.”
It isn’t and he feels he’s been ridiculous.
There are bigger problems in the world who demand more attention, things to pay and places to help and Lan Zhan getting depressed for not being capable of cooking is, surely, the most stupid reason in the whole world… but he is and he can’t even get mad at himself.
To make it worse, he’s well aware that all of this is his fault, if it wasn’t for him letting the auto-play on, that stupid platform wouldn’t have had the brilliant idea of jumping to a cooking video (with the most charismatic, loud and enthusiastic boy he has ever seen in the whole world) as if it that was a normal topic to put after watching a violin concert in D major.
Wei Ying, or Yunmeng’s best cook as he calls himself on his videos, is an enthusiastic boy not older than him who has a cooking channel with more than two million subscribers and a bunch of devoted fans. Something that’s not weird if you take into consideration his personality and charisma he shows as he tastes different dishes from different restaurants and how easy it is to follow the recipes that fill his channel.
Oh, and he goes to the same university.
Lan Zhan is a second-year literature student and while he’s not the most social or outgoing person in the campus, he at least believed he could classify the people around him as students, teachers or workers, so that morning where he’s actually hurrying to get to his class after having a teacher ignoring the clock and letting them out three minutes before the next class starts while knowing they have to go from one building to the other. It’sa a surprise when Lan Zhan sees him, or more like, crashes against him.
A tall man dressed in black jeans and red t-shirt he later recognises as the Wei Ying he saw on that video appears right in front of him out of nowhere and Lan Zhan, despite being well-known for being agile and athletic, can’t do anything to avoid the collision that sends his perfectly organised folder to the floor along with the other tall man who immediately lets out a pained whine.
“Told you were going to bump against someone!” Someone he at least remembers seeing one time around, says, eye twitching as he moves to pull the other up. “For fucks sake, look at the mess!”
And oh, it really is a mess. Lan Zhan looks as if someone had kicked him as he takes in the sheets of paper that used to be white scattered all over the floor, allowing himself to mourn them for a couple of seconds before dashing forwards to pick them up before more damage it’s done.
“Oh my— I’m sorry!” The unnecessary loud voice screams next to him. “I was walking without looking, didn’t even see you coming!”
Because you’re supposed to walk with your eyes on the front, he wants to say, but he knows he can’t waste any more time, so he just finishes picking them up and even yanks the ones the other picked to shove them back into his folder, giving him a soft glare before reassuming his race towards the classroom.
“Only you can make someone hate you so fast…” Someone comments, but he doesn’t stay to listen.
So much for a first meeting.
After that, Wei Ying’s presence seems to be everywhere he goes. He can hear his loud laughter as he walks from classroom to classroom and even when he’s at the library, at one point he even thinks he’s imagining it because there’s no way he could have lived without hearing him for two year, but he ends up dismissing it because it’s very, very real.
Days pass, exams come and go, Lan Zhan watches even more videos without stopping himself to ask why . The world continues moving until they stop again as the man, once more approaches him.
“Hey, you! The guy in blue!” Now that he thinks about it, turning around as if he’s the only human in the campus wearing something blue was a very dumb move, but what can he say.
Wei Ying, Yunmeng’s best cook, stops right in front of him, one hand behind his back and a wide grin spreading on his face, long hair held in a loose ponytail by a red ribbon. Lan Zhan considers saying something, but he ultimately doesn’t and just gives him a look that politely asks him what does he want.
“I wanted to apologise for what happened the other day,” He says and it really comes as a surprise. “But hey, you also walked away without saying anything and that wasn’t nice either, you know?”
Well, now that he thinks about it, walking away after glaring at him was rude indeed and very unlike him, but, “I had class.”
“Aha, that’s what I thought, so everything okay,” The man hums, eyes crinkling in one of the purest smiles he has ever seen. “This is my apology offer.”
The hand behind his back comes back to the front with a small lunch box. Lan Zhan freezes.
Maybe his glare wasn’t as soft as he intended it to be, maybe he was way ruder than what he first thought because they just bumped. Yes, Lan Zhan’s perfectionism wanted to cry during the class because he couldn’t find the right notes, but it wasn’t that bad, especially if he remembers that Wei Ying ended up on the floor and that surely hurt. Whatever it is, he stares at the lunch box offered for more time than what it’s good.
“I— You didn’t have to,” He sounds dumb and somehow more intimate than anything else. “I apologise for being rude.”
“So polite,” Wei Ying is clearly mocking him, but he can’t really look away from the lunch box. “But it’s okay and It’s rude to leave me here just holding it… and sad.”
He shouldn’t, but he does it anyway and so, he reaches for the box. “Thank you.”
“No need, I was who wasn’t paying attention,” He looks very satisfied when he takes it and okay, Lan Zhan get it, he has a very nice smile, can he stop? “I’m Wei Ying, a gastronomy student!”
“I know,” He blabbers and honestly, what’s with his brain not connecting with his mouth when he speaks today?
“Oh?” Thankfully enough, Wei Ying connects his words to his videos instead of considering him a, well, weird stalker. “Have I helped you to eat more than microwave noodles?”
“No, my brother cooks,” Lan Zhan at this point is just done with himself. “But I watched some videos by accident.”
To his surprise, the other laughs, loud and clear. “You’re so funny!”
He wasn’t trying to be funny, so he doesn’t reply.
“So… can I get your name?”
“Lan Zhan,” He replies, probably looking very dumb just holding the box. “Literature student.”
“Well, that explains the formality,” He actually bumps his shoulder against him. “Now tell me, Lan Zhan, which video you liked more?”
Now, Lan Zhan is the kind of student most teachers love to have. Punctual, hard-working, respectful and with the perfect amount of determination to actually finish his degree in order to use it for the future. Ever since he was a kid he was taught to be a good student, a good nephew, who followed the rules just like his brother before him and he never had a problem with it. He’s quiet, reserved, with not many friends but actually fine with it, he has his brother, his uncle and his studies and that’s fine.
Wei Ying doesn’t seem to understand him.
The man comes with his brother, Jiang Cheng, and his friend Nie Huaisang, and sits with him if he happens to find him at the cafeteria or even when he’s trying to find a bit of peace to read under a tree or isolated spot. He treats him like an old friend, heavens, he even ignores the other two who let him know he may not want company, dismissing it as nonsense and instead starting to talk about something that happened on his day.
Rejection seems to make him cling stronger and Lan Zhan is honestly lost.
He is not really aware at what moment he stopped minding Wei Ying’s insistence on being around him. After many times of giving subtle hints of wanting to be alone to focus or not minding eating all by himself, he just gives up and allows the loud man to sit at his side and force answers out of his mouth.
It just becomes...normal.
At noon he leaves his classroom and heads to the cafeteria to annoy the poor lady with one of his vegetarian crap ( as the man who helps her defined it after hearing for the millionth time what he wanted,) to then go sit on the last table pressed against the corner. In there he takes out one of the many books he’s currently reading and wait until the loud boy appears and screams a too loud Lan Zhan before hurrying to crash at his side.
It’s weird, really, in his whole life, Lan Zhan has never had a person wanting to be around his boring personality for more than a day, especially not someone who is the complete opposite of how he is. Wei Ying gets people recognising him and wanting to take photos with him, he’s loud, not too interested in finishing homework at home instead of the classroom and a complete detractor of going to the library for how silent it is. Lan Zhan is the representation of calmness while Wei Ying is the definition of controlled chaos, so they shouldn’t get along.
But they do.
The more days pass the more Lan Zhan gets used to hearing the other whine at his side for how untalkative he is and how boring it is to be there when he’s not even paying attention to him, though, he never leaves, he just complains and one day dares to yank the book from his hands.
“So I was thinking about re-doing the video for the lotus root and pork soup,” Wei Ying says, humming as he continues reading the book Lan Zhan was reading. “It was one of my first videos and I think it really needs to look better, maybe even invite my sister to help me, her soup is the best.”
“You should,” He remembers seeing that video at one point, but he doesn’t really know how editing and all works, so he’s not sure what could change.
“Have you tried making one of my recipes, Lan Zhan?” He tilts his head to one side, the rebellious strands of hair falling from his bun moving with his head.
“No,” In times like this one is where he hates not being good at lying. “I haven’t.”
Wei Ying pouts, for real pouts, letting his book fall on his legs as he crosses his arms. “We have been friends for so long, I’m offended.”
In Lan Zhan’s opinion, three months isn’t that long, but his words still hit him.
“You said you liked the food I gave to you,” He continues. “I did the same recipe, why can’t you trust the videos?”
“I trust them.”
Even for him, the way he says it sounds so, so dramatic it’s ridiculous, but it really is a big deal for him because he’s an actual disaster when it comes to cooking.
“Then I want you to cook something for me,” He states, ignoring the inner turmoil he causes to the man at his side. “I’ll let you choose whatever you want, so, what do you say?”
Against better judgement, he ends up nodding and this is what brings him to his current misery.
Ever since he was a child he had someone to take care of this basic thing. When both he and his brother were little kids, they had their uncle cooking for them, when they grew up, his brother helped with it and when they moved out in order to study, Lan Huan took over the feeding part entirely, dismissing his initial insistence for learning and helping by saying he should only focus in studying and doing his best.
Now, this… friend, wants him to cook for him.
Taking into consideration his dedication to make everything in the perfect way, he dared to think he was going to make it, that he just needs to dedicate himself to it as he does with everything else and it should be fine.
But again, it’s not.
At first, he doesn’t bother his brother because he knows how busy he is with his master degree and his work, so he just asks if he can borrow this notebook where he writes his recipes and chooses a basic soup. Lan Huan is just as perfectionist as he is, so this means his recipe is beautifully detailed, but it does nothing to help him and so he ends with a soup that doesn’t really look safe for human consumption.
What next?
Follow one of Wei Ying’s video because they’re meant for young people who live on their own and need to eat healthy and tasty food every now and then and he has been there when they thank him for uploading them. So he does, he picks one of his meat-free and less spicy dishes he has on his channel and sets to work for at least an hour. The product looks better, but it’s so, so salty he feels he can poison himself if he eats more than what a teaspoon can hold.
“Maybe you added too many salty things,” He doesn’t even notice when his brother joined him, but his comment makes his ears burn with shame. “It’s okay, A-Zhan, it’s hard to get it at first.”
Lan Zhan is not so sure about that.
He’s not perfect, of course, some of the things he chooses to learn take him a bit more of time to master or get the hang of it, but nothing gets near what’s he’s going through right now. He tries to work with it as he worked with learning how to play the guqin: with patience and an unholy amount of practice. Of course, food isn’t music and while he can throw away a broken string of his guqin with nothing more than a promise to be more careful next time, food is not the same and ruining three plates that need to go down the drain or to the trashcan makes him feel horrible.
So that’s what eventually makes his wonderful brother step forward and offer his help. Comforting him for wasting food and promising to help the next day and after he has relaxed a bit because apparently, the way you feel can affect the food you prepare.
Lan Huan is patient as he explains how to cut the vegetables and how to know the pan is ready without having to touch it, he does his best to explain everything, as he has been when he taught him how to walk and keeps an eye on everything the best he can. The end product looks good, at least, but it has this taste that sends a spark of sickness through his body.
“You can invite him and I can leave food for both,” His brother suggests quietly, looking at him. “Last I knew, you liked my food.”
“I do, but I need to prepare it.”
Sounds a lot like stubbornness and it probably is, among his family, he’s also well-known for being one of the most stubborn humans in this world when something gets in his head.
“Then we will practice again and again until you feel confident enough.”
Lan Zhan doesn’t have the heart to reply to that, he has a combination of feelings he rarely gets to experience and feeling has never been his forte. It messes with his cautious way of thinking, with his perfectionism with... everything.
He doesn’t even know why he lets the whole thing affect him so much. He doesn’t know this boy for that long, it’s not that the has to impress him because sure, he gave him a lunchbox he definitely enjoyed and had become a pleasant companion for these past months, but he’s not obliged so he could just go and tell him he doesn’t know how to cook and learning it’s not in his immediate plans.
“I will go buy everything I wasted today,” He says instead, giving his brother a small smile that he knows does nothing to reassure him. “Thank you again, brother.”
The thing is that he can’t . The idea of walking to the man and say he won’t cook anything he made after saying he will not only make him feel bad for himself because he doesn’t lie, but it also feels as if he’s breaking the man’s heart.
Dramatic, sure, but that’s how he feels and he thinks he will hate himself if he breaks Wei Ying’s heart.
A thousand whys pile inside his head as he goes back to his room that night, whys that take away the precious eight hours of sleep he’s used to having ever since he was a kid. Wei Ying is nice and it’s probably one of the only friends he has and… did he really call him a friend?
What’s wrong with me…
“Wei-xiong, never imagined someone like you would befriend someone like him.”
Lan Zhan knows that overhearing it’s rude and disrespectful, but he can’t really do anything if they enter talking so openly at the cafeteria when he’s waiting for his food.
“Why is it hard to believe? Lan Zhan is very quiet, but he’s fun to be around too!” Wei Ying replies and even when he doesn’t dare to move, he knows the man is grinning.
“Just because you enjoy annoying the life out of him,” Jiang Cheng, his brother if he remembers correctly, grumbles. “The poor man surely wants to kick you away.”
“Unlike you, he’s not an ass,” A slap followed by a whine reaches his ears. “You just envy me for having such a cool friend.”
They don’t seem to notice him as they continue talking, buy something and then just leave like that. Lan Zhan couldn’t be more grateful, what he just heard feels like a cup of warm chocolate on a snowy day, the warmness spreads all over his chest and makes his ears burn, surely turning them red underneath his long hair framing his face.
Does Wei Ying really consider him cool? After hearing him say countless times that he’s boring and that he’s actually very close to dying of boredom, he thought he really was mere steps away from walking away from him to never come back. He was oh so sure that their friendship was going to die before it properly started from his side but he was apparently dumb.
Wei Ying, Friday at three.
°°°
This is wrong.
This is so, so wrong.
Lan Zhan isn’t a liar. He was taught to never lie before he had a proper grip on how walking worked, his uncle always made emphasis in how important was to always say the truth and how it was better people suffered for a while to accept it instead of causing more pain with a bunch of lies that were bound to fall at one point… what he’s doing right now it’s basically the worst thing he has ever done.
But he can’t go back.
Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he once more looks at the food inside the pot and then at the paused video on his tablet, trying to compare the finished product to the one...the restaurant sent.
He’s not proud, far from it, his insides burn with shame and embarrassment that threaten to stop his heart. This is low, heavens, how in the world did he come with this idea? He was supposed to cook for Wei Ying, prove to him that he trusted his recipes and that he was even a great teacher, but no, his brain refused to do something edible and that turns him into a coward, a coward who ordered food from a restaurant and spent the last thirty minutes trying to make it look as homemade as he can.
In other words, he’s going to lie in the face of his friend.
A knock on the door freezes him for several seconds, heart jumping to his ears and staying there for at least ten seconds before jumping back down to his chest and allowing him to move. Taking the evidence , he shoves it into the trashcan and makes sure nothing else is visible, eventually moving to the door and composing himself before opening the door.
“Lan Zhan, finally!” Wei Ying is standing there, a large grin on his face. “I don’t know why you didn’t wait for me, I got lost!”
“I didn’t have class after ten in the morning,” He replies, easily. “I had to cook.”
“You have a point,” The other smiles, making his way inside, completely oblivious to the evil machinations of Lan Zhan’s head. “So, what did you prepare for me?”
Lan Zhan eyes the pot with food he left on the stove and then the tablet. “Just a simple soup.”
“There’s no such thing as simple,” Yeah, he shouldn’t really talk like that about food, not in front of a gastronomy student. “I was kind of expecting it, I have noticed you’re vegetarian.”
A new wave of warmness spreads through his chest, one that clashes furiously against the guilt feasting on his innards. “I am.”
“Is your brother joining us?” Wei Ying really moves around as if he knows the place as if this is the millionth time he’s here instead of the first time as it actually is. “The one who cooks for you.”
“He’s working,” Lan Huan doesn’t even know this boy, but he smiles every time he mentions him so it may be good they meet one day… if their friendship survives, that is. “You can sit down, I’ll serve the food.”
With a hum, the man and his smiling face toss his backpack carelessly next to the door before making his way inside, plopping down on the chair. “It already smells so good.”
It isn’t the first time Lan Zhan orders from that restaurant, he knows it’s good and that’s why he decided to order from there. Without any more words, he moves to serve a plate for him, trying to ignore the new pang of guilt that jumps on his chest when Wei Ying’s eyes light up as he stares at the food and instead going to serve his own plate, sitting down next to him.
A normal person would be excitedly staring at the other to see their first reaction, to witness how good or how bad the food they prepared is through their facial expressions. Lan Zhan doesn’t even bother, he keeps his eyes on his own plate and eats, letting the man say something if he wants to. It’s mortifying enough as it is, he shouldn’t push it more.
“Ah, Lan Zhan,” The man in question tenses when he hears his name, eyes moving up from the plate to find the other with a satisfied smile. “That was really good, yep.”
He manages a half-smile and a faint nod, heart speeding up to a dangerous level while his brain tries to come up with something to say.
“Though… I would have preferred to taste something made by you.”
It feels like thunder hitting him while being completely soaked, his muscles lock-up, his head hurts and the shame takes over every single part of his body. “I…”
“I mean, restaurants make a lot of food in so little time they get this distinctive taste,” Lan Zhan may be having a mental breakdown, but the other sounds calm, not insulted as he imagined he was going to sound. “Sounds crazy, I know, but when you have a paranoiac teacher who spends more time teaching you how to wash a pan to completely get rid of the taste of what was cooked there before, you kind of get the idea.”
Lan Zhan really wants to cry.
“I am sorry for disrespecting you,” He says because that’s what he did, disrespecting what he studies and does by trying to give food he maybe ate another day.
“Ah, no you’re not disrespecting me!” He hurries to say, though, it’s surely his niceness for not humiliating him further. “It’s fine… but why didn’t you cook something?”
Shame burns stronger inside of him and it takes him a lot to not actually whine pathetically at his question. “I’m sorry.”
He repeats because he can’t really explain why he would have this stupid idea. He can’t find the right words to explain that he did it because he wanted to impress him instead of sending him to the hospital with food poisoning. Can’t say that he didn’t want to disappoint him.
He was very young when his parents passed away in that accident, but he still saw his uncle and brother doing their best to raise him, to assure he had everything as he grew up. This led him to promise himself that he would never let anyone who put even a bit of faith on him, down.
Wei Ying liked to be around him despite his boring personality and it had been him who approached him first, a small and insignificant bump had ended with him having a friend and he didn’t want to disappoint him, to let him down after he had looked excited about eating something he cooked.
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying’s voice suddenly sounds closer and Lan Zhan realises he’s standing next to him, a genuine look of concern in his eyes. “What’s wrong?”
Of course, he doesn’t reply to what he’s asking, of course, he doesn’t let his words of gratitude come out, the humiliation is still too strong and he feels sick with himself. “I am sorry.”
He sure sounds like the most pathetic broken record, but it’s a very clear definition of himself in that exact same moment.
“Ah, Lan Zhan, stop apologising it’s weird,” He should really sound angry and annoyed, but he sounds so normal it’s disconcerting. “The exams are coming, so you didn’t really have time and I annoyed you too much to do it, right?”
Maybe it is how he’s taking the blame for something he clearly doesn’t have, maybe it is how sincere he sounds, but Lan Zhan is panicking. “I don’t know how to cook.”
For obvious reasons, the first incomplete thought is the one who leaves his lips as he turns to look at him, ears once more burning, waiting for a snort, for harsh words that tell him how pathetic he is for having an emotional breakdown for this small things and for how horrible he is for trying to lie, but Wei Ying does none of that.
He laughs, yes, but it’s not the mocking kind of laughter, it’s an entertained one that even seems to make the other look at him as if he’s looking at the most endearing thing in the world. “Oh, Lan Zhan, why didn’t you tell me before?”
“What?”
“Yeah! You could have told me and I would have come here prepared,” He replies with that wide grin of his.
“Prepared for what…?”
“To teach you how to cook, of course!”
Can’t Wei Ying see what’s going inside his head? Can’t he see the mess of emotions that run inside his otherwise calm expression? A part of him feels offended while the other wants to slap him in the face for being so stupid and not thinking about this before.
“You are busy,” He states, pushing the plate away from him. “You should focus on your studies.”
“But I will be studying,” He pouts, what’s with him pouting, really. “Teaching you works as practicing and it may even help me to think of a new dish.”
It makes so much sense it’s unbelievable he didn't think about this. “Wei Ying I… I’m really hopeless.”
“You? The Lan Zhan I have even heard about on my side of the school?” He snorts, resting his elbow on the table to prop his chin on his fist. “Come on, I have seen you making notes and being so careful with everything.”
This just makes the embarrassment burn with renewed passion inside of him. “I don’t lie.”
Wei Ying raises a brow, glances at his empty bowl and then back at him. “Sure.”
“This… is possibly the first time I have ever lied,” He means it this time, balling his hands into tight fists and pressing them against his thighs. “I haven’t lied to you in anything else.”
“Alright, I’ll believe you,” He hums, bumping his shoulder against his. “So, what do you say? When do we start?”
He shouldn’t, he should leave this man alone in hopes of staying friends with him. When Wei Ying sees the abominations he makes he will be disgusted and will surely kick him out of his life and he honestly doesn’t want that.
“Monday, after class.”
°°°
“You must be Lan Zhan’s brother, nice to meet you!”
No one has any idea of how thankful Lan Zhan is to have such a kind and social brother, if Lan Huan was like him, he would be weirded out of his skin by the exploding enthusiasm this boy is showing as he smiles and walks inside, a bag hanging off his shoulder.
“You must be Wei Ying, the one I have heard a lot recently,” Lan Huan smiles gently, finding his enthusiasm entertaining. “Pleasure to finally meet you.”
Lan Zhan squints at his brother. He knows he’s excited that his brother seems to now have a friend, but how he would love he wasn’t that obvious… or maybe he’s doing it on purpose.
Wei Ying hums in content, leaving his bag on the kitchen bar and turning to look at Lan Zhan. “Glad he speaks to someone, he barely replies to me when I talk to him.”
“A-Zhan has always been a quiet person.”
Maybe introducing these two has been his biggest mistake.
“Well, Mr quiet man, we have a lot of things to learn so let’s start,” Wei Ying, hopefully not noticing his red ears, says, turning to look at his brother. “Thank you for letting me use your kitchen, promise not to ruin it that bad.”
“Please, feel free to use whatever you need.”
Thankfully for Lan Zhan, his brother actually has things to do, so he just stays for a bit to curiously see the things Wei Ying brought to then leave with a polite but entertained see you later . At least one person less to witness his humiliation and the loss of a friend.
“Since you’re vegetarian, I brought a couple of species I tasted the other day,” By now, Lan Zhan can’t even feel surprised by how well the other adapts and behaves. “I assume your brother is as well, right?”
He nods, daring to pick one of the small bottles placed down.
“I visited my sister this weekend and both worked on making a vegetarian version of the lotus root soup,” He announces cheerfully, shaking the package of lotus root in his hands. “We worked hard so you see how tasty it is despite the lack of pork.”
Wei Ying once mentioned this soup is possibly his favourite food in the world since his sister cooked it for him and his brother ever since they were young and not too long ago he mentioned he wanted to re-do the video with her… did he forget about it to make it for thinking about him? “Are you going to upload it?”
“Ah? No, wasn’t thinking about it for the channel,” He shrugs, taking the empty bag near the door. “I was thinking of something you would enjoy.”
This man is either too oblivious to notice his panicked mind or he’s doing it on purpose. “I see.”
“So let’s start, come here and don’t be so tense, I’m not going to bite you!”
Oh God. How can he have these ideas?
For Lan Zhan, the most patient man in the world had always been his brother. Unlike his uncle, Lan Huan didn’t lose his mind if someone messed things up for a second time and definitely didn’t see a mistake as the end of the world, Lan Zhan was sure no one could be on his brother’s level of patience, until now.
Wei Ying is as patient as his brother is, but slightly different.
He doesn’t lighten the mood with comforting words, he makes harmless jokes and combines it with memories of his own past. When Lan Zhan starts to grow anxious of his incapability for doing such a simple task as it is emptying twelve cups of water into the pot without questioning if a cup means it should be filled to the brim or barely reaching the top, he cracks a joke of how he once broke three cups Madam Yu brought from Thailand.
“Lan Zhan, you’re holding a knife not a sword,” Wei Ying says with a snort, moving to hold his hand and manoeuvre the knife into a more comfortable and practical position. “You’re cutting the scallion, not trying to make it look as if it was mauled by wild animals.”
His ears burn.
“Here, hold it like this—watch the fingers—and start to cut slowly, don’t force the wrist,” He doesn’t stop at the explanation, with one hand he guides the one cutting while the other holds the second, making sure he’s not accidentally chopping his fingers off. “Like this, slowly and carefully.”
Lan Zhan has never been a big fan when it comes to physical contact, because of his uncle’s strict ways, hugs or pats on the head weren’t a thing. Suddenly having someone holding his hands and being so close to the rest of his body is overwhelming. His ears are burning even more than before and he’s just trying so, so hard to not push him away because he knows he’s not really doing anything wrong. He’s just trying to teach his dumb brain how to cook and nothing else.
“I think you’re getting the hang of it,” Wei Ying comments next, stepping away to go retrieve something else. “Just take your time, this is not a competition.”
With room to finally breathe, Lan Zhan fixes his eyes on what he’s doing and does his best to calm his crazy heart, reminding himself over and over that he’s a young man and not a crazy teenager who overthinks every single thing.
The scallion ends up looking...decent. Some are bigger, some are thinner, but if he looks at it from afar it’s not that bad and he can only hope that mixed with everything else it will look better. “Wei Ying, I’m done.”
“Well done, Lan Zhan, let’s move onto preparing the actual soup,” He’s been too nice, he knows. “Now tell me, what do you mess up while preparing things?”
“The instructions are not concise.”
“What do you mean they’re not concise!” He whines, scandalised. “Twelve cups of water, four hundred and fifty grams of lotus root, a pinch of salt, what else do you need?”
“Pinch of salt?” He raises his brow. “How can you say that’s precise?”
Wei Ying looks dumbfounded, as if asking if he’s been for real. “That’s based on your intuition! If you think it needs salt, then you add a bit more, if not then you don’t.”
“Still completely imprecise,” He adds, stubbornly, remembering the disgusting salty plate he prepared before. “People have different tastes, different likes.”
“Thank God we do,” He crosses his arms and nods. “But you’re been way too analytic for what a pinch of salt is.”
“Cooking is about being analytic.”
“Yes and no,” Wei Ying rubs his nose, apparently deep in thought. “Measuring and everything are very important, but you also need to be passionate about it, like you’re passionate about the books you read.”
He never really thought about comparing what he does to what Wei Ying does, but it's great to hear it like that. “My brother tried to teach me and I tried to follow your videos…”
“I had my doubts when I started studying this,” His smile suddenly turns a bit more nostalgic and his eyes move to the. “I wasn’t good in the beginning, I burnt many things and added so much salt it tasted more like food in brine. So don’t feel bad about it, instead, help me cook over here.”
That small moment of sincerity has Lan Zhan’s heart skipping a beat, the softness that grew inside of him over the course of these months growing bigger in a span of three seconds. Wei Ying is genuine, Wei Ying cares.
“I’m willing to try again.”
The slightly younger man smiles, brightly, and nods, nudging him closer to start working with the million species he brought and the rest of the ingredients for the soup and the man helps him on every step.
“You need to stir it, it will burn otherwise.” He says as he holds his hand to stir the contents of the pot.
“If you just dump the water in, you will get burned!” This time he takes the cup from his hand and pulls him close so he pays attention to how he does it.
“Keep your table clean, here, take this mountain and wash it.”
Really, what’s with Wei Ying touching him so much?
With small jokes here and there, he explains how much a pinch of salt is and even asks if he should measure the cup to make sure he always uses the same. It’s a joke and even when he glares at him for a couple of seconds, he ends up shaking his head and focusing back on what they are doing. To his dismay, though, he makes him do almost all the things, only intervening when he needs him.
“See? It smells amazing,” Wei Ying announces happily as he bumps his shoulder while stirring the contents of the pot. “And it looks just the same.”
The lotus soup actually smells and looks edible, but the moment of truth comes when Wei Ying takes a spoonful of it and brings it to his lips, Lan Zhan feels alarmed. “Wei Ying—”
It’s too late, Wei Ying shoves the complete spoon into his mouth and takes a moment to fully take in the taste. Lan Zhan is only waiting for him to spit it out, maybe faint, so he’s ready to call an ambulance, but it doesn’t happen and Wei Ying looks… satisfied?
“Lan Zhan, I think you just wanted me to teach you!” He huffs, throwing the spoon into the ink and pulling another one out to take another spoonful of it. “This is good, taste it.”
He’s not really sure if he should burn because of having this man with a spoon in front of his mouth or for having to taste what he made, really, there’s not enough air in the world for him to keep his lungs from collapsing. The world seems to be frozen around him, nothing from the outside can disturb the bubble that formed around him and Wei Ying’s proud smile, of his messy hair held in a half ponytail by that distinctive red ribbon, it’s just the two of them and he can’t even stop to ask himself why he’s experiencing all of this. All his senses are heightened, but weirdly enough, all of them have only one person in mind:
Wei Ying.
Wei Ying is a handsome man, tall, with an athletic build and charming smile that people adore in the comments for his videos… Why is he thinking about this now?
He ends up shaking his head and reaching to take the spoon from his hand and take it himself instead. Heart now going at full speed for a very different reason as he feels the surprisingly nice taste the warm soup leaves in his tongue.
“See?” His surprise seems to be very evident because Wei Ying’s grin widens as he crosses his arms. “You being very bad at cooking is a huge lie.”
“Just because you helped me,” There’s no other real explanation, he tried to cook by himself and with his brother but nothing worked. The only reason why it worked this time it’s because Wei Ying is here.
“Lan Zhan stop discrediting yourself!” He whines, reaching for the plates to start serving. “I was just supervising, you cooked.”
“You told me how to.”
“That’s not cooking, is it?”
“Wei Ying.”
“Come on,” He groans, rubbing his hair in frustration. “Lan Zhan’s brother, could you come please?”
“He’s busy, we shouldn’t—”
“I just finished a call, how can I help?” A part of Lan Zhan is telling him these two humans are plotting against him. “Is everything okay?”
“Everything is good, but would be better if your brother wasn’t so stubborn.”
Did he just called him—
“It’s hard for A-Zhan to change his mind.”
Did his brother agree?
“Knew it,” Wei Ying was already feeling like a winner, extending the bowl for his brother. “Here, it was made by him, I only supervised.”
“That is not true, he helped on every step.” With this, his only reaffirming he is indeed a stubborn man, but it doesn’t feel right to take all the credit, not when Wei Ying was so patient and even explained him so well.
He’s not even surprised when his brother chuckles and Wei Ying sticks his tongue out at him.
“I’m afraid I’ll be asking A-Zhan to prepare this soup more constantly,” His brother says after eating almost the complete bowl. “Is it a recipe you learnt at school?”
“Nope, it’s a recipe from my sister, well without the pork ribs, but still hers,” Wei Ying hums, sitting down at his side. “Her food is the best.”
“So a family recipe,” Lan Huan says, Lan Zhan chokes on his spoonful. “Thank you for teaching it to my brother.”
Why would he show him a family recipe? Why him? They’re just friends and this just complicates everything more. He stares at both as they engage in another topic that, fortunately, doesn’t involve him in the slightless, the two keeping the conversation as if this was a typical occurrence as if they’re friends catching up in their lives.
It is comforting, even though his brother is a more open and social person, he feared for a moment he would think Wei Ying is a bit too much, or maybe that he was going to question why Lan Zhan would be friends with him when they were so different.
His heart continues behaving irregularly, beating too fast, jumping every time Wei Ying looks at him, stopping when he hears him laugh and straight-up freezing when he looks at the food he, they, prepared, the one who didn’t send anyone to the hospital, the one who didn’t end up being wasted.
What changed? His brother also did his best to explain everything to him and was as patient as Wei Ying, but the results are completely different.
“It’s fun to watch your brother cooking,” Hearing it’s about him, he looks away from the empty bowl and towards them. “He’s too analytic with measuring. For the first time in my life, I had a fight with someone about a pinch of salt!”
“We didn’t fight,” Lan Zhan sighs, ignoring the way his brother hides his laughter behind the napkin he’s using to clean his mouth.
“Come on, we kind of did,” Wei Ying wriggles his brows at him. “With knives and metallic things, a real battle could have started!”
“I’m glad the kitchen didn’t turn into your battlefield,” Lan Huan smiles, gently, a soft look in his eyes as he looks at his brother. “Our uncle wouldn’t be happy.”
Wei Ying tilts his head at the mention of an uncle, but smiles and doesn’t ask anything, tapping his fingers against the table with a grin. “If Lan Zhan needs help again to learn something else, promise I won’t destroy anything.”
“I have the feeling A-Zhan would like to learn the rest of your recipes.”
And it is weird, so, so weird, but Lan Zhan finds himself agreeing with his brother and nodding when Wei Ying asks if that’s true. His way of behaving is completely unlike him, he thinks, but he can’t bring himself to care.
He continues being the perfect student at school but secretly wishes for the classes to end so he and Wei Ying can go back home to prepare some food for the day. Wei Ying becomes a common guest in his house, he brings species, new recipes, a lot of things that just mess with Lan Zhan’s heart even more.
“How many more times do I have to tell you how to hold the knife!” Wei Ying complains, once more taking hold of his hand to guide it. “Like this, it’s cutting not killing!”
“An onion can’t be killed,” He says, trying to sound unaffected. “And I am holding it as you said.”
“Nope,” He shakes his head, stubbornly, lifting his hand with both hands, leaving the knife on the table. “Try cutting for a long time like you were doing it and this will be hurting like crazy.”
As if to make a point, he presses down on the side of his wrist, hard enough to have him frowning and yanking his hand away to rub it. “I don’t need to cut that much.”
“What if I ask you to cook for me?” He takes a step forward, hands coming to rub his wrist soothingly, a weird and odd red dusting his cheeks. “What if we have to cook for my siblings, uncle Jiang and Madam Yu one day?”
Lan Zhan breath hitches, amber eyes staring at the man in front of him, words ringing in his ears. “What?”
“Yeah, you know,” He chuckles, suddenly looking away, shy, awkward, experiencing something Lan Zhan was sure he could never feel due to his extroverted personality. “When my sister started dating that peacock of a man called Zixuan, she brought him home and they cooked for the whole family.”
“Wei Ying…”
He doesn’t get to finish, hands are suddenly holding his cheeks and lips are pressing against his own, the small space that existed mere seconds ago disappearing as he kisses him, for real, kisses him. Shy and gentle, but he’s doing it and Lan Zhan feel like passing out.
“If I don’t get kicked out of your house, that is,” He whispers when he pulls back, eyes opening to look at him. “So… what do you say, Lan Zhan?”
“I think…” He whispers, every single sense on his body on full alert, brain swimming in and out of focus until he looks into his eyes. “Wei Ying should teach me all his recipes.”
For the first time in his life, Lan Zhan realises he’s a bit scared about the future, his future, but instead of causing him the anxiety he was sure he was going to experience he feels an odd and weird warmness spreading inside his chest.
If learning how to cook was going to be like this, Lan Zhan would have tried to learn sooner.